-Son-
Peter Parker has had enough.
"Come onnnnnn," Flash whined, kicking one of the legs on Peter's chair and causing the whole seat to shake. "How'd you get an internship?" he said derisively with a heavy enough dose of disbelief in his tone that it was clear he still had doubts over the validity of the internship's existence itself.
Peter exhaled through his nose, withholding a groan. This had been going on for well over a week now.
For a little while, Flash had left him alone, basically completely ignoring his existence altogether, which had suited Peter just fine. More than that, it more or less made Peter's day every time the routine of Flash looking literally anywhere but him continued on.
Unfortunately, all good times come to an end.
The 'end' had initiated a flip in direction and the start of Flash's near constant badgering over the internship, or, more specifically, how Peter got it. Of course, Flash didn't shy away from sprinkling a heavy dose of snide remarks in. Such as now.
"I mean, Penis Parker? An internship at Stark Industries?" he scoffed. "Yeah, right."
Peter sighed heavily, barely restraining from rolling his eyes as he ignored the teen. He stood up from his seat, shouldering his backpack and heading for the door, Flash unfortunately dogging his heels. This was the only class he shared with the other in which neither Ned nor MJ were present.
"C'mon, just spill, loser," Flash goaded, shoving into his shoulder just a tad too hard to be considered friendly.
"There's nothing to spill, Flash," Peter said dully. "I just got lucky," he shrugged.
"Hmm," Flash hummed. "Got lucky, huh?" he noted suggestively, and Peter shot him a sharp look. The other teen just shrugged, raising a snide eyebrow. "Well it's obviously not cause of nepotism or whatever; you don't even have anyone who cares about you-"
Peter's nostrils flared, and he spun around to face Flash, temper far past just being sparked. It was a roaring flame, just raring to lash back out. "First off Eugene, yes I do have someone who cares about me - multiple someones, actually," he paused, and a sudden, completely spur of the moment and definitely not a good idea to say thought sprang to his mind, and he blurted it right out. "And you're wrong about it not being nepotism either, cause Tony Stark's my dad."
Flash's mouth dropped open, and Peter barely stopped himself from doing the same, hurriedly looking around to make sure they were alone in the hall. They were not. There was… a pretty sizable crowd around them that'd gone completely silent and was now gaping at Peter as if he'd grown a second head. He restrained the urge to check, and he barely held back a wince when he heard a very familiar surprised coughing somewhere in the masses. Flash managed to school his features into a derisive scowl a moment later. "Yeah, right," he sneered. "Puny Parker the Orphan is Tony Stark's son," he mocked.
Peter had the insane urge to double down for a second, but he shoved it down into the very deep dark hole where Bad Ideas™ are set to rest - when he manages not to just spill them out straight away, apparently. Outwardly, he deflated, slumping his shoulders and giving a weak shrug. "Yeah - uh," he grimaced, then sighed heavily, looking nervously at the crowd. "That was a… total lie," he admitted, rubbing at the back of his neck and glancing to the side. "I'm just a normal intern," he asserted, and slowly started backing away, the crowds of students parting for him, still in complete silence, while Flash sneered.
Managing to get through the throng, Peter immediately turned around and bolted for the front entrance, a hysterical giggle threatening to bubble up past his throat.
Oh my god. I just said Tony freaking Stark is my dad.
He flung the doors open, ignoring the startled glances from the students who'd already made their way outside, only to abruptly come to a stop, face paling drastically.
Oh my god. I just said Tony freaking Stark is my dad in public.
'Public' being a crowd of students. A crowd that most definitely had their phones, which they were most assuredly recording on because Midtown High students recorded basically everything.
Peter slapped his face into his hands, letting out a muffled groan. There was no way that someone hadn't already posted that, he despaired.
Well, at least maybe nobody would believe it, though. His mood lifted a bit at the thought. He bet someone claimed to be Mr. Stark's kid every other day. Yeah - he was pretty sure Tony had mentioned something like that before.
The doors slid back open behind him, and Peter stepped out of the way without looking up, only to startle when Ned spoke.
"Dude," his friend said, his tone difficult to place. Something deadpan, almost, but also full of shock and another emotion. Disbelief? Borderline panic?
Peter looked at Ned from between his fingers, grimacing. "That bad?" he asked, pretty rhetorically.
"That bad," Ned needlessly affirmed, giving Peter's arm a pat of solidarity as the brunette groaned in renewed despair. "We should probably move, before someone else comes out," Ned advised, taking Peter by the elbow and leading him down the path from the school.
.
"Ned," Peter said, a few minutes later, nearly halfway to his house that Ned was apparently walking him to. "I feel like I just went through the five stages of grief, but, like, completely out of order," he said blankly, a trace of detached wonder lacing his tone.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," Peter said, nodding dazedly. He blinked a couple times, trying to clear the glazed look he no doubt wore, and realized Ned still had him by the arm. That's probably how Peter hadn't walked into any poles yet. "Yeah," he repeated, more solidly. "The anger was, like, actually saying it, I guess. Then it was denial, cause, I mean, no. I did not just say Tony Stark was my dad. I did not. Then kinda depression cause ohmygodIjustsaidTonyStarkismydad in front of everyone and everyone has phones. I'm freaking screwed. And then bargaining? I think? Cause I told myself it wouldn't be too bad because probably nobody's gonna believe it, right? But I guess I didn't get to acceptance because I do not. Accept this, that is," Peter surmised.
Ned gave him an odd look, one which transformed into what was likely an attempt at comfort but looked more like a grimace. Peter shot him a deadpan expression in response, and Ned relented. "Okay, so, I know that, like, normally nobody'd really believe it or anything…" he started, then trailed off, gnawing on his lip.
"...But?" Peter probed, nudging his friend.
Ned winced. "But you've also already got a connection to Mr. Stark?" he pointed out, a bit reedy.
Peter stopped short, Ned taking another step before realizing he'd only been tugging Peter's now motionless arm along with him. That seemed to also make him realize he'd still been holding Peter's arm hostage at all, and he let it go, giving a sheepish look to Peter, who was not paying any attention to it at all. In fact, he felt a bit as if he was having an out of body experience, and he gazed sightlessly at some far off point over Ned's shoulder.
"...Peter?..." his friend asked, a bit worriedly, reaching forward to poke his forehead.
Peter's brow furrowed in response, and he batted Ned's hand away, shaking his head like a wet dog. "Yeah, okay," he admitted, rubbing at his face frustratedly. "But still, it's obviously not true," he pressed, looking pleadingly into his friend's eyes.
Ned gave him a sympathetic grimace of a smile, sucking in a hiss of a breath through his teeth. "You do kinda look alike…"
"Ned!" Peter exclaimed, dismayed, throwing his hands up in the air and rushing past his friend, speed walking towards home.
Ned jogged a couple steps to catch up, Peter's pace quick enough to be fast but not enough to leave Ned in the dust. "I'm not wrong," the black haired teen pointed out, panting slightly.
Peter scowled. "That - this - that has nothing to do with anything," he said resolutely, speeding up a bit more as his apartment building came into sight. Ned tugged on his sleeve and he reluctantly slowed down, but he kept his gaze set firmly straight ahead.
"Peter," Ned somewhat rebuked. "You're, like, super smart - in STEM stuff especially - and you're the youngest intern ever at SI and you look like Tony Stark? People are gonna start questioning it," he asserted.
Peter let out a very distressed sounding sound, then steeled himself, giving an exaggerated scoff. "We look alike? You mean, we both have brown hair and brown eyes. Wow, it's almost like that's the most generic combo for Caucasian males," he noted dryly.
Ned rolled his eyes, the duo turning into the entrance of the apartment and beginning to climb the stairs up to the third floor. "No, you've got, like, kind of the same eye shape?" Ned mused, and Peter groaned, making his friend laugh. "Okay, okay. Fine, I think maybe some people're gonna talk about it and stuff for a while, but it'll blow over, right?"
"Right," Peter agreed, letting out a sigh.
.
Not right.
Very, very much so not right.
Ned had left after a couple of hours of hanging out, and Peter, like the very intelligent teen that he was, decided that then was the perfect time to finally check his phone, which had been on mute the entire time.
It had not been a good idea, though whether he meant in regards to having left it on mute or just having checked it all was difficult to discern. Either way, it was an unmitigated disaster - to his mental well being, at least.
He had over five hundred notifications from a mixture of apps including StarkMessages, Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter as well as a boatload of phone calls and voicemails. There were a couple of unknown numbers, while others were from old or current classmates that he'd had to trade contacts with for some school project or other. The most recent call, however, was from Mr. Stark.
Peter jerked and tapped quickly on the icon without a second thought, only realizing he had no idea what he was getting into when the line started to ring. He panicked internally for the two drones that rang out before Tony picked up.
"Peter," he greeted, sounding implausibly jovial.
"Heeeeey Mr. Stark," Peter strangled out, trying to smile in some inane hope that it'd transfer through the line.
Tony hummed, the sound coming through with a bit of a crackle. "Anything interesting happen today, Pete?" he asked lightly.
Peter could feel sweat begin to collect on the small of his back. "Nope," he responded immediately, sounding like he just sucked in a whole balloon full of helium.
"Really?" Tony said with the same airy tone.
Peter sagged down on his bed, sinking into the mattress. "Nope," he said dejectedly.
"Yep!" Tony agreed. "Guess what Pete?" he asked, then carried on without waiting for a response. "Turns out, I have a son!" he exclaimed.
Peter choked on his spit, sitting up to hack out a cough. "Mr. Stark-"
"Yeah, brilliant one, too," the man remarked, continuing on as if he hadn't heard even the slightest disruption. "Attends Midtown High, top marks in all his classes, in the Robotics club - or, well, used to be - and the Decathlon Team, and - get this - he works at SI!"
Peter swallowed. "Mr. -"
"Had me worried there, for a sec," the man admitted glibly. "But then I realized, Pete, I'm already the guardian of a kid!"
Peter's stomach dropped even as his heart leapt into his throat. "Wh- what?" he strangled out. Mr. Stark had an actual kid already?! One Peter didn't know of?!
"Yeah, just had to ply their Hot Aunt with some fine wine, nearly half a million promises, eat her meatloaf, sign away half my soul or something to her probably, and - badabing badabang! Legal Guardian over here!" the man proclaimed.
Peter's mind was definitely working at less than half capacity, and he sluggishly tried to comprehend the influx of information his fried brain had just received. "Hot… Au- Hey!" Peter exclaimed, sitting up straight. "I told you not to call her that!" he rebuked. Then sucked in a startled breath that more so felt like it had the opposite effect of vacuuming all the air out of his lungs. "Wait - me?!"
"No, Peter, some other kid with a Hot Aunt who scares the pants off me and makes a frankly indigestible meatloaf," Tony remarked dryly.
Peter gaped at the Star Wars poster on his far wall, mouth opening and closing like a particularly gobsmacked fish. "You - I - you - guardian?" he garbled.
"Exactly, Peter. I - you - I - guardian. Or, in more… understandable terms, your aunt accepted me as being your second legal guardian a few weeks back, after your class trip," Tony explained.
"Huh," Peter got out, jaw still feeling a bit unhinged at the moment.
Tony snorted. "Alright, Pete. I've gotta go do some… damage control-" he gave a fake cough "-Pepper-" then said, "-but we'll talk later. Don't worry about all this, yeah? And tell May that this was totally not my fault," he finished, then abruptly ended the call, leaving Peter on the other end with the phone still pressed to his ear and his eyes still dazedly staring at the poster on his wall.
It took him a few moments longer to robotically lower his arm, and it took him even longer to manage to drag his gaze down to the phone in his hand.
More messages were pouring in, and he noticed that he had a good chunk from Ned now, too. Being the smart, strapping young man that he was, he decided to check Twitter first.
It was… an experience.
His most immediate realization was that he was already trending - pretty hard.
Additionally, there were several different angles of the same video posted, but the most popular had received over fifty thousand views - within three hours of the event. Peter felt a bit faint.
The comments, which he couldn't manage to stop himself from scrolling through, were another matter entirely.
There were the obvious responses, first:
-What a faker.
-Was this staged or something?
-No way he's an intern at SI
But then came the others…
-I totally thought this was a lie at first, but I dunno…
-He kinda does look like Tony Stark
-That's Midtown High - it's for super smart and rich kids. It's one of the best STEM schools close to Stark Tower ya'll…
-Ok but like everyone there obv knows he's an intern already. And I mean that's kinda hard to believe. It'd make more sense to be covering up something. Like…
The kid's totally lying at the end tho abt Stark not being his dad. He's legit so obvious
Peter resolutely did not flush bright red at that last one, quickly clicking off the app.
.
Not even an hour later, Peter found that Tony was apparently doing a livestream from Stark Tower instead of a press conference like he suspected. Peter thought it made enough sense - it would seem like less of a big deal without seeming like they were trying to cover it up, and Tony wouldn't have to answer a whole bunch of questions. It was probably Pepper's idea.
And it was a great idea too. If it had gone according to plan.
Mr. Stark had made a good introduction and bulk of conversation, segueing from one topic to another with the fluidity one only saw in a well practiced public speaker, which Tony Stark definitely was, despite his occasional… mishaps.
But, anyways, it'd been going well. Mr. Stark had just been saying, "And I'd like for his information to remain private, since, I don't need to remind you that he is still underage and therefore more protected by the law. And yes, he is my intern -"
He was suddenly cut off by a loud, booming voice, the source of it appearing on screen as they entered the room, beaming at a wide eyed Tony who was trying to subtly shoo him away. "Are we discussing young Tonyson?" Thor questioned resoundingly, and that was precisely when the video cut off.
Peter had stared at the screen rather blankly for a few seconds thereafter, wondering for all the world how everything could just… go so wrong so quickly. Well, for this part, at least, it was pretty obvious. Thor - he was great. Really. It was just that, despite having lived for probably over a thousand years, the god seemed to have no concept of subtly. Or social queues. Or maybe queues, period.
Peter quietly decided that there was nothing more he could do, and left it at that, turning off all his notifications except for important contacts and setting his phone down on his wardrobe at the far end of his room like the biohazard it deserved to be treated as.
Then he went through his usual routine: He completed his homework, ate dinner, messed around with the Lego Death Star that Ned had left over, and then brushed his teeth and got ready for bed. He had the presence of mind to realize he shouldn't go out Spidermanning in the state he was in, instead settling in for the night.
It'd all be okay in the morning.
Yes, it'd all be okay by then.
.
Obviously, Peter was either jinxing himself or was terrible at predicting the future because things were most certainly not yet okay in the morning. As it turned out, even the Daily Bugle had finally taken a step back from pasting Spider-Man's face on the front page in order to get to the juicy details of the newest gossip.
Tonyson?! - SI's Nepotism and Secret Love Children
J. Jameson
Yes, you read that right. Tony Stark has a son, one who has been interning at Stark Towers for quite some time, apparently. This is despite the fact that he is underage - which none of the other interns are: a clear sign of nepotism on Stark's part. And let's not forget Stark's attempt to bury the matter of his son's existence entirely. Yes, in his live conference situated in SI, Stark declared himself to hold no relationship to his son - who will not be named here (and we advise you to not check the sources that will be listed below to find potential names) - and instead stated the teen was only an intern. The truth did come out, though, by another Avenger, who referred to Stark's kid as 'Tonyson.' Is this a new tradition initiated among the Starks? Could this possibly be his child's actual last name instead of the fake one he has? And where has this secret love child sprouted up from? Was it from one of the many illicit affairs Stark is widely recognized for having participated in, or was it from a stronger relationship? Or maybe something darker? Find out more in next week's edition.
Peter banged his head against the dining table. Repeatedly. Thank God May was out of the city at another hospital for the week; hopefully the news would die down by the time she came back.
He should really know better by now.