Olivia takes a sip of her wine and a false smile crosses her face, again.

Amanda had practically jumped with joy when she had gone into work on Monday and told her that she could call her "blind date" and tell him that Olivia was free this weekend if he was. Which of course he was. She wondered if he was actually free or was just that desperate for a date with her that he cancelled all other plans.

"So Amanda was telling me you've got a new detective. How is he doing?"

Trevor Langan had been around long enough to meet all the old and new squad members that Olivia had known and it made her feel old to remember how many faces had come and gone in that time.

Langan had never really been much of a factor in her life until recently. She'd thought he was attractive enough years ago and if he hadn't been defending scumbag rapists all of the time she might have taken him up on his offer but then she had married Elliot and he'd fallen from her mind. That was until Carisi had taken the ADA's job and came into contact with him more often. They'd become friends even though they'd met fighting for other sides and it turns out after a few too many drinks he'd told Amanda how he'd always had a thing for Olivia and if she was ever back on the dating scene that Amanda must put in a good word.

Well she had, or more she'd got Olivia to agree to this so called blind date and she was regretting her choices. The conversation was flowing well enough but there was one thing missing that she just couldn't shake.

He wasn't Elliot.

—

Even though she has no intention of going on a second date with Trevor she does let him drop her home. She'd ended up having a few too many wines at their meal to drive and he had assured her it was no bother and that he'd feel terrible allowing her to get a cab all the way home so she had nodded and got into his car, it was very thoughtful of him she thinks.

When she tells him the house to pull up in front of he parks in front of her driveway, a little too close to Elliot's house she thinks or maybe not enough?

Ever the gentleman Trevor turns off the engine and walks around to Olivia's side of the car to open the door for her, holding out his hand to her to help her out which she takes gratefully as the wine was now making her feel slightly unsteady on her feet and she makes a note to not over drink on boring dates going forward.

"I had a wonderful night you know" he tells her and she smiles. "I understand if you're not up for dating quite yet.."

Olivia doesn't hear the rest of his sentence as she notices Elliot standing on his porch to the side of Trevor. He was glaring at them and her heart rate soars. Suddenly she realises that she's been a fool for thinking this will discourage him, seeing her on a date will probably only encourage him to fight for her even more, even back when he was married to another woman he had been a jealous and possessive asshole.

"Olivia?" She hears and remembers she is meant to be paying attention to the man in front of her.

"Oh sorry, I, uh. What were you saying?"

"That I know it might be too soon but-"

Yet again Olivia didn't hear the end of Trevor's sentence but this time it's because it's interrupted by a cough behind him and they both turn to see Elliot stood there arms folded across his chest eyeing up the pair in front of him.

"Someone didn't waste any time"

Trevor may be taller than Elliot but Elliot didn't need height to be the more intimidating one. Olivia can see Trevor stumble on his words as he turns to stand between two divorcees with his head turned towards Elliot.

"Do you mind? We're busy" Olivia says, taking a step towards Trevor and taking hold of his arms. She wanted Elliot to think she'd had the time of her life even if he'd almost put her to sleep in her salad.

"You and him? You can't be serious Liv?"

Elliot shakes his head, baffled how someone like Langan had even managed to get someone like Liv out on a date.

"Why not? We were enjoying each other's company" Trevor says finally standing up for himself to Elliot who only turns to him and smirks.

"Yeah? She was enjoying my company the other day. Reeeeally enjoying it weren't you?" Elliot turns to Liv to finish the sentence and finds her glaring at him which only makes him smile.

"I don't know what you're trying to do-" she starts, letting go of Trevor's arm and taking a step forward. "But-"

"I'm not trying to do anything" Elliot interrupts, his arms still folded across his chest as she closes the gap between them with Langan standing to the side watching back and for like he was at a tennis game. "I'm just stating-"

"You're trying to ruin my life"

"I'm trying to save you from making a mistake with this idiot" Elliot nods his head towards Langan and the other man's eyes widen but he's too lost in the argument before him to take too much offence.

"You're the one that makes mistakes Elliot"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She wants to tell him that leaving her was a mistake. That walking out of their family home and their marriage was a mistake. That moving in next door was a mistake because all it did was stop her feelings from simmering but she doesn't say any of those things instead she takes a step back and sighs.

"It doesn't matter"

"Liv-" Elliot starts, about to reach out to touch Olivia but Trevor interrupts them.

"I think maybe we should all go home. What do you say? It seems feelings are a little tense right now"

"Sounds a brilliant idea" Olivia confirms and Elliot wants him to evaporate right now and not ruin what he thinks could have been a moment of truth from Liv.

"Good idea. Why don't you go home?" Elliot asks Trevor.

"I'm done with this" Liv answers before Trevor could and they both turn to look at her. "I'm sorry the night ended this way. I had a good time" liar. "I'll see you around ok?" Trevor nods and then she turns her attention to Elliot. "Just go home. Go home and live your own life"

He can see the pain behind her eyes and all he wants to do is make it better but she doesn't say another word to either of them, instead she turns around and walks into the house without a backward glance.

Langan walks to his car and opens the door but before he gets in he turns to Elliot who was still staring at Liv house.

"Stabler" he calls and Elliot turns to look at the man to find a sympathetic look on his face. "Don't be an idiot alright"

Elliot half smiles silently thanking the man and silently apologising for being an idiot as he got into the car. Elliot stands outside hoping she'll come back for a few minutes after the sound of the engine dies down but eventually he sighs and goes back inside.

—

As soon as Elliot got inside he walked straight to the whiskey in the cupboard and poured himself a glass. After taking most of the first drink in one gulp he decided to take the whole bottle with him to sit down.

On the way to the couch he stopped off at the large cabinet that held the few books he owned and opened the top drawer where he had stored the photos he had taken from the house when he had moved out. She'd never asked where they went and he wonders if she had even noticed. He kept them out of the the way of his every day view but every so often he'd get them out and look through them remembering the old times.

He flicks through and finds a photo of Olivia with her large bump pushing through her top and Elliot with his shirt updone matching her pose. She'd been complaining she felt huge and he had wanted to show he could look just as big. It had gotten a laugh from her and he'd assured her that her body would be back to however she wanted it but he was quite fond of her body when she was pregnant, there was something about it that drove him wild.

Sophia had never been planned but they both knew they weren't exactly being careful. They both wanted a baby but knew that only six months into their relationship it was probably too soon to plan babies even if they had known each other a lifetime. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to have got to experience it with her twice.

2008

Olivia was bouncing Sophia on her lap when Elliot walked through the door and he instantly noticed something off about her.

"Is everything ok?" He asks running towards her and wraps both of his girls in his arms.

"I just can't shake this feeling. I've been sick the last few mornings and I'm still not getting periods to know…"

She had been breastfeeding and expressing for Sophia when she had gone back to work and her periods hadn't come back to her but she knew they'd never been great with protection having been so used to purposely not using it or not needing to.

"Do you think..?" Elliot asks, grinning. "Let me go and get a test"

"I bought one earlier. I just haven't had the guts to do it. I'm scared El"

He can see the fear in her eyes but he's still smiling.

"I know it sounds scary but we can do this Liv. I'll do anything to make this easier for you if you are pregnant"

It's what she needed to hear because she knew if she was pregnant then she was about to become a mother of two under two.

"Shall we check before we start to worry?"

Liv nods and hands Sophia fully to her father before walking over to the counter and taking the test out of the bag. She takes a deep breath before walking into the bathroom and Elliot leaves it a moment before following her in.

He finds Olivia sitting there on the closed toilet lid with the test upside down in her hand so she couldn't see the results yet. When he walks into the room she looks up and offers the test out to him so that he could see the results first.

"We can do this Liv" he reassures her and waits for her to nod before turning the test over in his hand and she knows the answer as soon as she sees the smile on his face.

"I think we might need to start looking for a bigger place"

Liv laughs at him and even though she's scared she's relieved to know one way or the other.

"Come here"

Elliot holds his arm out and she stands and moves in to cuddle him.

"You're going to be a big sister. Do you like that?" She asks Sophia who is in his other arm and she gurgles excited which puts a smile on Livs face.

"You're not getting me to the suburbs" she tells him, moving her head back so she can look into his eyes.

"We'll see"

When he leans down and kisses her it suddenly feels too good to be true.

—

Thinking of the kids upstairs in bed he finishes the rest of the drink and wants to go and see them. He wasn't sure they'd want to stay over anymore with their actual bedrooms next door and he thinks they do it so he's not so alone and he loves just how much they remind him of Liv sometimes.

He takes the photos back to the drawer, puts the glass in the sink and the bottle back in the cupboards before heading up the stairs opening the first door on the landing to his son's room. He leans against the door frame and remembers the first time he had held his son in his arms, he knew then that his family was complete. Not that he was against having another ten kids but he knew Olivia would be and he had the perfect family with her and of course his older kids but they were busy off living their own lives by then even though they always had a home with him he knew this was his second change to do it again and this is why he had wanted them to retire. They werent young anymore and they only had a few years before Sophia went off to college and he had wanted to make sure they didn't waste a second more.

Since he had left that day the thought of retiring had taken a backseat. While going through the divorce he needed the stability of a job and especially the distraction but now everything was settled he was free to do as he pleased, maybe he could show Liv it wasn't as bad as she imagined.

He whispers goodnight to Lucas before checking on Sophia. She was fast asleep with her mouth hanging open drooling and she looks so much like Liv he has to laugh. Shutting her door, he tiptoes the rest of the way down the hallway until he is at his own bedroom and sighs as he flicks the light on and sees the emptiness of it. There are no photos like in his room with Liv, none of her clothes scattering the floor and dressing room chair, in fact not evening a dressing room chair. There was a bed, a draw and some wardrobes and that was it and it felt empty.

He crosses the room and sits on the bed and he can see the place he wants to be the most - his old bedroom with Olivia. It's dark in there but he remembers every inch of that room, he knows she hasn't changed it because he knows the kids would have said so and he wonders how she feels going to sleep in a place that must surely remind her of him.

He's lost in thought staring out of the window at nothing but darkness when the light in the bedroom opposite him flicks on and he sees Liv walk in, removing her earrings as she goes. He stands up and walks to the window to close the blinds but he can't look away, she's only putting her hair up into a ponytail but it's the domesticity that he misses so much the sight alone makes his chest hurt.

With her hair up and her jewellery removed she turns around ready to close the blinds to get dresses and she sees Elliot standing there about to do the same. Her anger at him from earlier reignites in her and when he raises his hand to wave at her she drops the blinds in his face with nothing but a stinking look his way.