Astrid's bewilderment had suddenly turned into a blind rage. Her breathing was intermittent and formed into little clouds of vapor rising from her mouth. She had struck so hard, with all her strength and fury, that her hand now ached with every movement, but she ignored the sharp throbbing.
What in Thor's name had he been thinking of?
True, Hiccup had always been subjected to Snotlout's insults and pranks, but he had never taken it that far.
What was it about Hiccup that bothered him?
He was different from them; so completely different. For a boy, he was quite slight and didn't like to fight with others, even if only for fun. Instead, he loved stories and preferred to indulge in his incomprehensible thoughts.
That hadn't stopped them from playing together until now.
With her heart pounding wildly, she looked down at Hiccup and in the next moment drew in her breath sharply when she caught sight of him. Flowing from his nose was a small but steady trickle of blood, his fingertips torn open and sore from his attempt to avert his fall. His face was adorned with a few small cuts.
Worst of all was his increasingly pale complexion. It was already rivaling the snow. One look into his completely frightened, wide-open eyes made the greatest danger of his situation unmistakably clear to her.
He could not breathe!
"By Odin!" exclaimed Astrid in shock.
On the spot, she knelt, grabbed Hiccup roughly by the arm, sat him up jerkily, and without knowing what she was doing, slapped him on the back so hard that she did not doubt that she was hurting him. However, the apprehension and the panic that was steadily increasing with each additional breathless second completely took away her control over her physical powers.
Finally, after a brief moment that seemed to drag on into eternity, Hiccup eagerly and loudly gasped for air, only to break out into a stifled cough the next instant.
Instantly she let go and eyed him tensely, not leaving her kneeling position to support him again in case of emergency.
"Are you all right?", Astrid asked expectantly, but instead of an answer, all she received from Hiccup was a somewhat shaky smile, as he was still completely absorbed in taking in enough oxygen. Still, it was enough to make Astrid sink into the snow with relief.
"Thank you, Astrid.", the little Viking added a bit hoarsely after another while, while incidentally wiping his nose with the back of his hand. It only spread the blood further on his face, so that he was inevitably reminded of a warrior returning from battle.
"Don't you ever do that again!" she snapped angrily after she had given him a punch against one of his slender shoulders, which were extremely fragile even under the thick sheep's wool that made up his vest.
How dare he give her such a scare and then think he could make it up to her with a dumb smile!
Hiccup, who had long been familiar with her volatile temperament, was not at all surprised by her reaction, and he, therefore, tolerated it. In any case, every bone in his body had been jumbled and no longer knew exactly where it belonged, like those that the village elders used to communicate with the spirits.
By then, even Astrid's blows no longer bothered him in the slightest.
In addition, his head throbbed painfully and the world around him continued to spin a little, melting into a white whirlpool.
Only Astrid remained perfectly still and the longer he concentrated on her face, the more the rushing environment calmed down and took on its usual contours.
Hiccup did not yet hear all that was being said around him; his battered senses were barely sufficient to understand Astrid's occasionally distorted voice. Still, her presence helped him halfway overcome the deep-seated shock of what was happening.
Nevertheless, he felt himself trembling involuntarily in the face of the life-threatening fall that he had just survived almost unharmed, probably only thanks to the thickness of the snow cover.
Astrid was always at his side and helped him in every situation, whether it was to find a suitable hiding place - especially in time - during a dragon attack or to escape the usual harassment of Snotlout.
Hiccup could undoubtedly rely on her. She was his best friend.
Annoyed, Astrid sent a quick glance over her shoulder and was sobered to find that Snotlout had picked himself up, completely unharmed, except for his nose.
Obviously, she had not hit hard enough.
She really had to work on her punching power. Of course, Snotlout had long since begun taunting them both to compensate for his embarrassment, exuberantly throwing his fists in the air, probably meant to express some sort of threatening gestures. Again, Astrid paid no attention to this inane nonsense, even though she was surprised that the others had not yet approached to inquire about her friend's condition.
Like the fish they stored outside in the winter to preserve it longer, the other three children waited frozen in place, somehow nervously watching the proceedings.
What was going on with them today?
Noticing that Hiccup was still a bit dazed from his fall, she intuitively reached out to help him up so that he wouldn't sink back to the ground with his first step. Carefully she grasped his hand, when Snotlout's voice, dripping with scorn, first got through to her and made her stop abruptly in her movement.
"After all, the Hoffersons have shown that they are all cowardly weaklings; so no wonder Astrid is looking for her equal!"
Hiccup looked at Astrid in wonder as she steadily increased the pressure around his hand so that it already hurt, but she stared doggedly, downright absently, at the floor. Her lips were now just a prominent white line whose intensity resembled the snow surrounding them.
He had just wanted to inquire caringly about her condition, after all, he knew all too well from his own experience what damage Snotlout's uncouth words could do, when Astrid pushed him off her with such force that he landed unprepared in the snow once again. Scattered snowflakes swirled around them and got lost in both their faces.
At first, Astrid heard only the rush of her blood, coursing through her head with tremendous speed, making her face flicker with shame and suppressed rage.
Her family was not weak and cowardly! She was not either!
How could the group know that behind the thick wooden doors of the Hoffersons there had been no other topic of conversation for some time than the ridiculous failure of her Uncle Finn?
One of the Hoffersons, of all people, who were known for their fearlessness, was completely lost with fear in the face of a dragon.
Not even a muscle had he been able to stir.
The disgrace suffered irrevocably marked the whole family. Even Astrid, at the moment the youngest and only offspring, could not escape the perfidious and merciless threads of this disgrace and had long since become hopelessly entangled in them. Especially since there was also great pressure on her since she was still able to convince the village community of the virtues of her family.
Her parents diligently drilled her to never reveal doubts to anyone. It was sometimes up to Astrid to save the family name from total branding. She couldn't believe that this news had even gotten through to the other children.
Astrid came back to her senses abruptly when she heard the surprised sounds of the others at her back, echoing loudly inside her like a warning alarm and signaling unmistakably that she was about to cross a drastic, dangerous line.
She felt as if she had been snatched out of a tiring nightmare, but she was denied the relieving moment of realizing that they had merely been nocturnal fantasies. Instead, it spread to reality as she visualized the existing situation.
Stunned, she looked down at Hiccup. He returned her gaze, apparently unable to move, with the same incredulous expression. At first disoriented, her eyes wandered to her hand, which she held outstretched from her as if to create some kind of spatial distance between them. Horrified at her behavior, she was about to rush back to his side and apologize for her unintentional behavior when Snotlout spoke up again, "Am I mistaken?"
His expectant stare bored into her neck like hot metal nails. Astrid was completely torn between her feelings; on the one hand, her innate responsibility towards her family and, on the other hand, her friendship with Hiccup, who in any case, but especially lately, had had to endure many strokes of fate without once letting a word of complaint pass his lips.
Choked by this emotional dilemma, her help-seeking gaze fell on the wooden sword she had received to Snoggletog. How unreal it was, that she had carried it with her so lightheartedly, and now it lay unnoticed in the snow in the place where she had knelt a short time ago.
A banal toy, further meaningless and yet.
Gradually she believed to understand why the others behaved today so strangely differently; where the difference to yesterday consisted.
They were no longer children.
Every Berk resident received his first weapon at the age of five, so innocently beginning the many years of training to become a fully accepted member of the community.
Thus, within one night, their entire world had been turned upside down, unnoticed.
Weakness was now an illicit offense.
Hiccup was weak without any doubt, but at least he was her friend. But what weighed more heavily than a ruined family name, whose honor, the highest good of all Vikings, was perhaps lost forever?
Almost against her will, Astrid bent down to her sword to take it back with a firm grip. Hiccup continued to look at her in confusion, pleadingly, as if he already suspected what painful fate was about to befall him with this gesture.
Astrid stood in front of him, trying to keep her face as stony as possible. She had no choice. Nevertheless, she felt a tremendous cold stealing through her clothes, seeming to reach every fiber of her body and make her tremble.
It also resonated in her voice, startling Astrid herself, "That was the last time I helped you. Grow up Hiccup and stop following me around all the time!"
So few words and yet they were enough to irrevocably tear apart the strong bond between them. Astrid felt her stomach turn painfully at the sight of him, yet she was unable to take her eyes off him for even a moment.
It was not his horror at her words themselves, but much more the deeply hurt expression of his widened eyes that cut ever deeper, straight into her memory. Too stunned to counter her at all, he just stared at her unblinkingly. He would have expected such a rigorous rebuff from anyone, but not from her.
Hiccup pressed his lips together until they were only visible thanks to the blood that flowed down his face with the melting water and collected in the corners of his mouth. A piercing red line, just like the insurmountable gulf between them.
Suddenly, Astrid's environment, alienated; like a repellent, life-despising force threatening to take hold of her.
Everything was suddenly repulsive.
The wind howled like a wailing woman as if to lend its voice to Astrid since she was unable to do so. Like silent tears, the melting snowflakes made their way down her heated cheeks. At last, she managed to cast down her eyes hastily, though she was by no means oblivious to the glazed tinge in his gaze.
"I'm sorry," she whispered to him tonelessly as a parting gesture, before turning her back on him decisively and taking firm steps toward the others, though she feared that her shaky legs would give way under her weight.
"Come on, let's finally go try out the weapons!" she ordered imperiously, already strutting past so that her friends could only follow her in wonder and awe.
Astrid did not dare to look back again to assure herself of Hicks' integrity, as she had always done until now.
No, she sternly admonished herself, mentally repeating the words of her parents with which they greeted her in the morning and rocked her to sleep in the evening: "The Hoffersons did not and do not possess any weakness."
Perhaps it was even better not to show any feelings at all, but to grow into an aloof warrior who could successfully defy any adversity - no matter how hopeless it might seem to another.
One thing she swore to herself in this humiliating moment: No matter what else might happen, she would never again allow herself to be coerced into making her mark at Hiccup's expense.
Even if it meant punishing him with complete ignorance.
So on that bone-chilling winter day, Astrid said goodbye to the carefree part of her childhood.