Shattered souls are easily blown away
Teen wolf astmaticus 5x10
Yeah so I'm aware that I have a few unfinished stories that deserve my attention but what can I say? I'm not in charge okay? inspiration strikes or it doesn't.
Anyways my take on 5x10 Scotts 15 minutes of death that the show totally glossed over (like a lot of the trauma in the show).
~Every thought is a battle. Every breath is a war, and I don't think I'm winning anymore.~
''Liam! Liam! Liam! Liam!'' Panting Mason runs into the library , shock overtaking his face when he sees the scenario before him. Scott on the ground, shielding his face as Liam slices his arms over and over again until he gains his attention. ''Liam, what are you doing?''
As if in a trance Liam looks at his bloody claw, ''Hayden.''
Sighing Mason breaks the news to his best friend, ''She's gone. Hayden died a few minutes ago.'' Shaking his head a little he reiterates, ''she's gone.''
And with those words Liam shifts back and sprints out of the wrecked library, leaving behind his alpha and best friend.
Mason doesn't wait a second and hurries to help Scott up off the ground, ''Scott...'' Slinging one of his arms around Scotts waist while Scott slings one arm over Masons shoulders to support himself as they make they're way to the exit, ''what happened?''
Groaning a little Scott tries to get his baring's while answering Mason, ''It's the Supermoon. It was just...''
''Bad timing.'' Theo says angrily as he storms over to them, ''I mean, seriously. You couldn't
have waited five minutes?!'' Pushing Mason away from Scott with enough force that he hits his head hard on one of the tables. Seemingly losing consciousness as he tumbles to the ground below, letting out a soft groan.
Standing before Scott he flips out his claws, ''I should've stayed. I should've made sure.'' His eyes slowly trailing from his own claws until they reach Scott's eyes.
Straining himself Scott responds, ''Because now you have to kill me yourself.''
Obsession and anger swirl through Theo's eyes as he speaks, ''They're still mine. Maybe not yet, but they'll come around.''
Shaking his head slowly Scott counters, ''Not for you.''
Theo's face scrunches up in anger before stabbing his razor harp claws into Scotts already wounded chest.
Grunting in a mix of pain, exhaustion and adrenaline he continues, ''They're not like you. They never will be.'' Eyes glowing a vibrant red as he speaks of his friends, clearly hitting a nerve in the chimera before him.
Anger radiates from Theo's body, ''Because I'm a Chimera? Because I'm not a real werewolf?''
Weakening more every second that passes Scott responds in a hoarse whisper, ''Because you're barely even human.''
Snapping Theo, plunges his claw even deeper into Scotts wound, pushing him down on the library stairs. He takes his claw out only to replunge it into the already down werewolf multiple times for maximum damage. Satisfied with his work he walks out of the library, blood dripping from his claw, leaving his victim to succumb to his wounds alone.
Slumped on the ground he mutters, ''Something's changed.''
''What do you mean?'' Melissa asks her son tentatively.
He can barely look his mother in the eye as he answers, ''I'm not sure. Something's different. With me and my friends. With all of us. Something's changed. I think it's because of me. And I don't know how to fix it.''
They say that in the minutes before death, as the life seeps out of your body and your senses start to fail, your life flashes before your eyes. But all he sees is Mason, his terrified brown eyes. All he feels are hands pushing down on his chest. Why was Mason still here, shouldn't he be with Liam?
He watches as Mason fumbles one handedly with his phone, slicking it in a red substance. Blood… his blood. Strange, usually he smells it before he sees it. Now that he thinks about it, he doesn't smell a thing.
''Shit!'' Mason curses as the phone slips from his grasp. Grabbing it quickly he fumbles some more before he finally manages to dial Melissa's number. ''No, no, come on. Please?!'' Mason yells in frustration as the phone shows the -no signal- sign again.
He hears Mason say something, knows it's his voice but he can't quite figure out the words. Like he is underwater, dimming the sound. It's still there just above the surface, just out of his reach.
Seeing Masons frantic movements he deduces that he is trying to call someone. He wants to ask who, Liam maybe? He wants to tell him about the signal jammer that Theo set up, blocking all the calls. He wants to reassure him that everything is going to be okay but the words don't come out. And even if they did they would've been a lie, another broken promise. Another mistake made, for which an innocent has to bear the consequences.
''All of us can't be true alpha's! Some of us have to make mistakes. Some us need to get our hands a little bloody sometimes. Some of us are human!''
He's only human after all, a boy all of sixteen, he shouldn't be involved in this. He wants to tell him to leave but all that comes out is a weak grunt.
''Regression to the mean. It means things can't always be bad, so no matter how good things are or how bad, it will always come back to the middle.''
He wonders if Deaton would consider this regression to the mean. From a scrawny human with asthma and bad direction, to an alpha werewolf with super senses. An alpha with super senses slowly turning human once more as all his senses start to fail him in death… regression to the mean, he thinks as his vision starts to dim.
''it'll be a kind of darkness around your heart, permanent like a scar.''
Masons face, the gaping ceiling, the thundering sky, his world starts to fade slowly. And then he is surrounded by darkness much like his heart, surrounded by voices of the past.
''it's a spiral. It reminds us that we can all rise to one or fall to another. Beta's can become alpha's but alpha's can also fall to beta's or even omega's.'' Dereks voice rings through the darkness.
He's lost his pack, every last member. What is he at this point? What is an Alpha without his pack? He thinks of Derek and his hastily made teenage pack. His desperation to recruit him into it. If only he could apologize for criticizing him back then, for judging and shutting him out, not bothering to sit down and ask for Derek's motivations. Ask it earnestly instead of demanding answers accusatorily.
He wants to apologize for never reaching out and asking him how he felt. For not supporting him when he suffered the crippling loss of his pack, for letting him struggle with it alone. Maybe if he had things would've turned out differently. Why hadn't he done that?
Clicking heels echo before he hears her voice. ''Alpha, beta, but what are you Scott? Omega. Don't you know the lone wolf never survives without a pack? I've heard the cry of an omega it's a miserable sound, the howl of a lone wolf.'' Victoria's voice taunts as his lungs burn from the wolfsbane.
Omega. A lone wolf… is that what he is now? Will he howl pitifully at the end, a cry heard by many but cared for by none? Maybe he should've just let Victoria end him right there, yeah maybe that would've been better for everyone involved. All he seems to be capable of is making things worse.
''Bad timing. I mean seriously. You couldn't have waited five minutes?'' Theo's voice rages through the darkness. The scariest moment was realizing he wasn't scared of death at all.
Scott twitches, grunting as Mason stuffs his vest into Scotts chest even harder. ''Please start healing… Scott you need to start healing yourself man, you've lost-'' He swallows heavily, eyes flickering from the soaked vest in Scott's gaping chest wound, to the ever growing pool of red dripping down the stairs onto the floor below, ''Are losing way too much blood.''
Bad timing… he's had a lot of that, caused a lot of it. At least his friends will be okay, they're smart, they'll survive this like all the rest. Without him there to mess things up, trusting the wrong people, asking the wrong questions.
He smells him before he hears him, ''You're gonna keep your promise, even if it kills you!'' his beta grunts out full of rage. ''That's what you don't get, Scott. I wanna kill you, I want to!''
No spike in his heart rate, he's telling the truth and the truth hurts more than he can explain. Is this how Deucalion felt when his beta turned on him? A wound that keeps on bleeding, never ending pain. Was that the trigger that turned Deucalion into the demon wolf?
Kate's poisonous voice flood his ears, ''What in the hell is so special about Scott McCall.''
Nothing. Absolutely nothing, that's the problem. 'special' 'true alpha' 'a good son' were these the new synonyms for being an absolute failure?
He stops feeling the hands on his chest as Kate's voice resounds through his mind. Good, Mason should've left to help Liam a long time ago.
Mason sits there hands drenched in blood that just keeps flowing, unable to call anyone when he suddenly sees the signal blocker and without any other options he removes his hands from Scott's chest. He sprints over to the frequency jammer just outside the library, smashing the damned thing. Racing back to Scott's side he dials Melissa's number again and this time it rings, ''Hold on Scott, helps coming.''
Masons the first one he hears AND sees but he's gone just as quickly as he appeared, ''She's gone. Hayden died a few minutes ago, she's gone.''
His heart breaks a little more thinking about it, knowing the pain his beta must be feeling all too well. What are the odds that history repeats itself trice. Paige, Allison and now Hayden. Their lives snuffed out before they even begun. All that seems to follow him is death…Werewolves are predators, they don't have to be monsters but maybe he turned into one anyways.
Theo's soft voice asks, ''First love remember what that's like?''
He gets cold hearing this voice again.
Theo's voice echoes through his head. The once innocent question from a new friend now feels like a barbed insult thrown at his head only to cause him pain, to remind him of his failures.
"It's okay, it's perfect. I'm in the arms of my first love. the first person I've ever loved. the person I'll always love. I love you, Scott McCall."
He looks towards the direction her voice came from, should he head there? Would she want him too? Would she have stood by him or would he have disappointed her as he had the others. His heart aches at the thought of her choosing to leave him too.
Peter's voice rings out, ''By some idiot teenage boy so incorruptible he wouldn't shed the blood of his enemies even when justified.''
Would he have killed to save her, given the chance? Should he have listened to Peter? He always thought fighting fire with fire only resulted in everyone getting burned. But while he had been trying to fight their fire with water his enemies replaced it with gasoline, lighting his entire world on fire. Burning anything and everything in the way of their ambitions to ashes.
''I mean how are you all still alive?'' Liam quiet innocent voice floats to his ears.
His stomach churns. So many people have died on his watch. Deputy's, teachers, doctors, students, mothers, fathers, children, entire families ruined...decimated. Innocent people who knew nothing of the supernatural and so many that did, paying the price for his mistakes, for his failures. Boyd, Erica, Aiden, Allison…
Allison.
He failed her.
He failed them all.
''That's because it doesn't hurt''
He hears nothing, smells nothing, sees nothing and he feels nothing. There is no more pain. Walking towards the direction her voice came from.
Thinking hard he swears he's forgetting something important as he pulls Allison a little closer to him in the car. He hugs her tightly, letting her smell envelope him, ''Hey what would you say if I could be normal?''
Allison looked at him sadness filling eyes, ''I don't want you to be normal, I want you to be alive.''
Mason holds Scott's hand as his chest labors to go up and down, each time rising slower than the one before. Scotts mouth moves but no more than incoherent mumbles come out.
''Stay with me alright?'' Mason squeezes through his clogged up throat, tears slicken his cheeks as Scott's chest stops rising.
''Dude, stay with me. Help is on the way.'' Looking between Scott and the library doors he can barely see as the tears cloud his vision and his voice cracks, ''Scott?''
~Every exit is an entry
Somewhere else~
A/N:
That was chapter 1? Or maybe I'll just leave it like this idk yet. Inspiration is fleeting and so is time lol. Anyways hope you fellow sad beans enjoyed it, was kinda hastily written but hey time is money and fanfiction doesn't pay well XD.
I wish the show would've embrace the exploration of trauma a bit more, like they did with Stiles and 'guidance counselor' Morrel, would've been very interesting if you ask me. Cuz I feel like a lot of the fandom started hating Scott for literally being a kid that makes mistakes, all the while forgiving or condoning the actions or non-action of other characters easily. And maybe if they highlighted the fact that these are traumatized kids with the world on their shoulders a bit better, like each character individually, I feel like it would've spared Scott's character from a lot of unnecessary hatred.