Summary: Now that Kairi has her own keyblade, King Mickey wants the three of them to attend a magical school so that they can finally learn to be a true trinity. But there is a chance that Kairi won't be able to attend the school, and there is no point in any of them going if they can't all go. Is there? Riku wants to go ahead without them, but Kairi isn't as eager to be left alone with Sora as he thinks she is.
Pairings: Riku+Sora, Kairi+Sora, a tiny hint of Kairi+Riku
NOTE: This fic takes place a few weeks after the Destiny Island Trio find the letter in the bottle at the end of Kingdom Hearts 2, but this time the letter is very different. From that point, the story is a 'Timeline-What-Timeline' prequel to my "A New School of Magic" fanfic. That fic is a crossover fic that starts out with Naruto, crosses with HunterxHunter in chapter 11, and then the Kingdom Hearts crossover starts in chapter 15. If you're not interested in crossovers, just consider this fanfic a nostalgic oneshot letting Riku and Kairi bond a bit over their feelings for Sora and their uncertain future as a 'true' keyblade trio.
Moving On
Riku was sitting in the moonlight along the shore of the island when Kairi joined him. He had seen her securing her boat and been tempted to go and help her. He hadn't, because he wouldn't have helped. He would have lectured her for coming out here alone, at night, and then he would have insisted on escorting her back to the mainland. She might have been able to wield a keyblade in battle, but she couldn't summon it on her own, and she was still a princess of heart, a beacon to any darkness lingering in their world. She shouldn't be taking such risks. She would have argued and complained if he had gone to her and done that. She disliked being bossed around as much as he and Sora did.
"You shouldn't have come out here by yourself," he said, when she made herself comfortable on the sand beside him. "Especially not at this hour."
"I'm not a child," she huffed. "I aged the same as you two did, in case you haven't noticed."
Of course he had noticed. Sora was the one who didn't seem to have noticed, and Riku had seen how disappointed she was by that. It wasn't just the longer hair. She had curves now and she dressed to accentuate them. They had parted as children and reunited as teenagers. Even Selphie was dating now and openly questioning why Kairi wasn't, talking about the classmates who had asked her out, all the while making sure her voice was loud enough for Sora to hear her. Even with no memories of Sora, Kairi hadn't looked twice at anyone else. Riku couldn't imagine how it had been for her, going so long with an aching hole in her heart. Getting those memories back should have filled that void, but the wound was still fresh. Hopefully getting Namine back would allow that wound to heal in time. Whether Kairi ever gained Namine's memories, she would feel the guilt and sadness her nobody had felt about what she had been forced to do.
"What about you?" asked Kairi. "You shouldn't be coming out here alone at night, either."
Because he might give in to the darkness? Or because, as a keyblade wielder, he was also a beacon of light? She was giving him a challenging look, daring him to ask just so she could lecture him for being stupid. That was something else that had changed. Usually Sora was the only one she felt confident enough to take that attitude with. By the time he had left, she had almost seemed afraid of him, openly uneasy and wary. For good reason, of course. She must have sensed the darkness growing inside him. But even as children he and Kairi had rarely spent time together without Sora sitting between them. Why was she comfortable being alone with him now? He might as well ask how that flowery keyblade had appeared in his hand when it had clearly been intended for her.
Riku smiled at her. "What are you worried about, Kairi? Is it Sora?"
Kairi flushed and looked away quickly. She didn't want to admit that she had been keeping an eye on Riku. He had been going off by himself since they had found that letter in the bottle. So far Sora hadn't said anything about it, but he had noticed. Sora noticed everything Riku did these days, making a clumsy effort to keep him close and trying to include him in everything he did. He looked worried when Riku waved him off with a smile. Riku was smiling too much these days, small smiles that didn't reach his distant eyes. Sora had noticed that, too. But had Sora even noticed that she had breasts now?
That was such a shallow and embarrassing thing to care about, but the changes in her body represented other changes. She wasn't the same person Sora had left behind. She wanted him to notice that so they could get to know each other again, because Sora was different, too. She had noticed that immediately. A reluctant and shy hug for her, and then he had collapsed in tears over Riku. In that instant she had felt like a child again, watching their backs as they raced off across the sand leaving her far behind, just the girl who had shown up out of nowhere and been accepted as playmate by the lifelong friends because Sora made friends with everyone and Riku enjoyed seeing Sora happy. Things were supposed to be different now. Weren't they? Why else would Sora have made that drawing in the cave? Had Sora even gone by the cave and noticed what she had drawn in return? Probably not. Sora barely noticed anything when it came to her these days. She didn't like feeling jealous about that.
"No," she said quietly.
She wasn't worried about Sora. Well, that wasn't quite true. Sora was worried about Riku, and she was worried about what might happen to Sora if anything happened to Riku. That was only fair, though. Riku worried about her for the same reason. That was what Sora did, pulling people in so they all revolved around him like planets circling a sun. But she and Riku weren't distant planets circling the same sun. She was a keyblade wielder, too, now. She and Riku had their own connection that had nothing to do with Sora. She was certain of that. She had felt it when she had grabbed his hand, with him wearing an enemy's face, and seen him for who he really was. Had Riku not felt any of that connection?
"What is it, then?" asked Riku.
"Sora has been telling me about his adventures," she said. "And about the other princesses of heart. It's the destiny of a keyblade wielder to protect those lights." She gave a wistful smile. She had been sent to Destiny Island in order to fulfill her destiny. "But if I had been sent somewhere else, then Sora would have been this world's light." The equivalent of a princess? Could there be male lights? She turned to stare at Riku. "Would you have been this world's keyblade wielder?"
Riku gave a wincing smile. "I believe so. Sora's keyblade came to me at one point and I thought it had originally been intended for me, that the darkness that carried me from our world had pushed it out of me and into his hands. But I was too far in the dark to wield it myself. I wasn't using the keyblade to protect him. I was using it against him, so it went back to him, back to the light. I didn't get my own keyblade until I had battled my own darkness and even then, you saw how that turned out."
Riku sighed to himself. If he had been intended to be this world's keyblade wielder, protecting Sora's light, then he had turned his back on that destiny. He had never told anyone about the strange man he had met on the beach as a child, the man with a keyblade who had promised he would one day have the strength to protect those precious to him. But Riku hadn't protected him, he had lashed out at him in jealousy and hurt. He had justified it because it was the only way to get Kairi's heart back and protecting Kairi had been his way of protecting the past, that child he had been who was so determined to protect his best friend, the friendship the three of them had shared growing up, before he had begun to see how uncomfortable Kairi was with him, how she had seemed to be luring Sora away so it would be just the two of them with no place for him. After all the years the three of them had imagined having adventures together, Sora had immediately found two new friends to have those adventures with. That was so much worse than he had feared. No place for him, but no place for Kairi, either. He had recognized his own bitter jealousy and still he had justified his choices, confident that he was being a better protector and friend to Kairi than Sora was, a true friend who valued their shared history more than whatever fun Sora was having with his new companions.
Childish. He had been so childishly stupid. Jealous and egotistical and so ripe to be consumed by the dark. Maleficent had warned him. He hadn't listened. He had thought he knew better than everyone.
"It doesn't matter," said Riku. "We are all keyblade wielders now. It's just as well that you were sent here. Even a light as bright as Sora needs an even brighter light to rely on when lost in the dark. He could have been trapped in the dark with me forever if you hadn't opened the door for him."
Riku hadn't minded the thought of that. He had quickly given up, content to remain in that darkness and grateful to have Sora by his side this time. Once again, he had justified it in his own mind. The dark was drawn to the keyblade. Having three of them together in one place endangered their world. That was why King Mickey wanted the three of them to go to another world in order to learn to function as a trio, a closed world where the forces of dark couldn't sense them or follow them. That world had a school where they could learn magic that no keyblade wielders had ever learned. And that was important, because King Mickey had a mission for them once they were stronger. All he would tell them was that it was a time-sensitive mission and thankfully time passed slower in that world. But the school didn't currently accept female students. The king was working to change that. If he was unable to do so, then they would be forced to ask Merlin to make a place for them to train and they were unlikely to learn enough there to achieve their goal.
That was why Riku had been coming out here each night, watching and hoping for another letter, or maybe even a visit from King Mickey himself. Almost two weeks had passed without a word. He was tempted to set a bottle adrift himself, with a little help from the keyblade to ensure it reached the king. There was no reason for all three of them to wait here together. He could move on ahead while they waited here. Sora needed time alone with Kairi in order to understand how much she had changed. She couldn't even get him to hold her hand unless she caught hold of his first. Then Sora looked confused and awkward and sometimes he blushed and tripped over his own feet. It was painfully amusing and endearing, but also very frustrating for Kairi. Sora must have seen some sort of romance during those adventures of his, between the beast and his princess, if nowhere else. There was no excuse for how obtuse he was being. Sora hadn't grown much taller while sleeping through Namine's work, but even he was looking older. Sora just needed time to realize he had changed the same as they had. But, since this was Sora, it would probably take a lot of time with as few distractions as possible.
"I've been thinking," said Riku. "If King Mickey can't get the headmaster of this school to change his mind quickly, then you and Sora should go to Merlin. Then you'll be waiting in a slowed time, in a protected and isolated place, rather than here. I'll move on to this school and see what it's like. I might even be able to help the king convince the headmaster to accept you as a student."
Kairi gaped at him for a short moment. Then she scowled and bristled. "I knew it! That's why you've been so quiet. You came out here hoping to get in contact with the king so you can sneak off on your own. You can't do that, Riku!"
"Of course I can," he said firmly, "and I should. If the three of us do attend this 'school' then one of us should make certain it's safe first. Just because that world is currently locked doesn't mean it will stay that way. The king says there are no keyblade wielders in that world. Besides, this is a chance for you have an adventure of your own with Sora. You won't be left behind this time, Kairi, and you won't need some flimsy raft to travel."
The reminder of the raft had her wincing away. Riku didn't know that she had asked Sora to take the raft and sail away with her, leaving Riku behind. Even then, she had known how wrong that was, not just because Riku had done most of the work on the raft. She had been so grateful that Sora had believed it was a joke. She didn't want him to know how selfish and jealous she could be. She doubted any of the other princesses experienced feelings like that. If Sora really had needed her light to open the door to the dark that he and Riku had been trapped behind, then she had to be a better person than she had been in the old days. She felt like she was, or like she was at least getting there.
She had matured enough to turn scolding and disappointed eyes on Riku. "How do you think Sora will feel if you go off on your own? Do you want to make him cry again? Because I don't. I don't ever want to see him cry like that again."
Riku closed his eyes. He never wanted to see that again, either. Sora had been so hurt when Riku had admitted that he had never intended to say anything to him. Sora's light was too strong for him to understand how ashamed he had been to have Sora see him like that, trapped in the guise of an enemy because he hadn't been strong enough to defeat Roxas without giving in to his own darkness.
"You shouldn't have told him that was me," said Riku.
Maybe things would have worked out the same, anyway, since he would have continued to watch them from the darkness and help them in their fights. But she shouldn't have put them both on the spot like that. Sora had felt toyed with, maybe even betrayed by his silence. Riku hadn't meant for him to feel that way. His plan had been to quietly disappear, and to have King Mickey assure Sora that he was safe and well and busy elsewhere. That was all Sora would have needed to know in order to be happy.
"No," Kairi said sharply, "you should have told him yourself. Do you think he cares what you look like?"
Beautiful sea-green eyes flicked open to look at her, and she dropped her own eyes with a painful wince. Of course Sora hadn't cared what Riku looked like. He didn't care what she looked like, either. But Sora at least noticed how different Riku looked now, with his long straight hair that dipped low enough to completely obscure his eyes when he didn't want to make eye contact. He was also a bit taller, and more muscular. He had gone from being the looker of their age group to being stunning and everyone had remarked on it, including Sora.
Sora had complained about Riku hitting a better growth spurt than he had, insisting that he would catch up within a year, and had teased him about that hair, saying that if he hacked it off a bit he wouldn't look so much like a girl. Kairi had bitten her tongue and tried not to be jealous. Her hair had grown even faster than Riku's but Sora hadn't said a single word about it. Did he not like it? She thought it was very pretty. Even Selphie said so. Riku's hair might be striking, but he didn't look anything like a girl. Except his lips. His lips were soft, a perfect bow, and how had she never noticed that before? Selphie had notice, and laughed at her for only now seeing it. Maybe Kairi was noticing now because Riku was giving small subdued smiles rather than the playful and taunting grins he had flashed before their lives had changed.
Those lips curved, just a bit, and she flushed and quickly looked at his eyes. Had he noticed her noticing him? Did he realize how jealous yet amused she was at the thought of Sora also noticing?
"Kairi, you're a beautiful young woman," said Riku. He smile became teasing when she gaped up at him. Her blush was pretty, too. "Sora will notice eventually, Kairi. He's just young and...Sora. You shared his heart for quite some time. You know how he feels about you."
"I know," she sighed.
Sora loved her the same way he had before he had left, in a sweetly innocent way that made her feel warm and whole and like she belonged at his side. She knew their bond had deepened, because he had sat her down and quietly asked her to promise him she would never risk herself in an attempt to protect him because losing her would destroy him. That was a bit insulting, because it was just like Sora to want her protected in the background before she even had a chance to get better at using a keyblade herself, but it was also very reassuring. She felt the same way about him. She could barely remember the last year, how it had felt to have no memories of Sora, but according to her diary it had been like having a chunk of her heart ripped out. She believed that. The thought of anything happening to Sora made her feel just like that. But she wanted more, and she didn't want to feel guilty for wanting more.
Did Sora want to date her or not? Was he waiting for her, too shy to make the first move himself? Or did he not think of her that way at all? She wanted a bit of romance, for him to take her hand of his own accord, to put an arm around her shoulders when they sat next to each other, to invite her to view the sunset so they could share a kiss. Even a shy kiss on the cheek would be lovely, if that was all he felt comfortable doing. She didn't want to push him before he was ready. She just wanted some sign that he thought of her as a romantic partner, a girlfriend, because if he didn't think of her that way and wasn't likely to start thinking of her that way then she really needed to know. The sooner the better.
A glance found Riku scanning the water as it lapped against the shore. He was still looking for a bottle? She shouldn't have let herself be distracted before she had finished making her point. She leaned forward to glare him right in the face. He recoiled, his eyes wide and startled and uncertain. That was good. She was tired of him acting as if he had everything figured out when he obviously didn't.
"I know how Sora feels about me," Kairi scowled at him. "Do you know how he feels about you? You should know, considering he was so torn up over finding you that he collapsed at your feet. Sobbing. Over you, Riku. And now you want to leave again?"
Riku had never seen Kairi look so angry, so protective of Sora. She really did love him. He was glad to see that. But she also sounded resentful, maybe even jealous, which was all wrong. "I ran and hid from him, Kairi. That's why he was so upset. I even fought with him at one point, to see if he was really ready for the ordeal ahead. Maybe my fighting style gave me away or he recognized my weapon." He had heard Sora call out his name as he had made his escape. "He suspected I had been running from him, so the confirmation was a betrayal for him. I should have asked the king to assure Sora that I was fine, so he wouldn't have worried or kept looking for me. Instead I asked the king to keep my secret, because I didn't want anyone to know what I had done to myself. I didn't intend to hurt Sora that way. I won't make that mistake again."
"You ran away from him?" Kairi asked, making a weird face. "More than once? And hid from him? I had no idea you were so vain, Riku. You didn't look that bad! The slicked hair style was awful, but the natural tan might have come in handy compared to-"
"It wasn't vanity," Riku winced. "It was the fact that I had become trapped in the guise of the enemy who possessed me the first time I lost to the dark. And it happened again because I intentionally gave in this time, because I wasn't strong enough to defeat Sora's nobody without relying on that power. I also thought I would be stuck like that for the rest of my life. I couldn't have come back here looking like that. Even my own parents wouldn't have recognized me."
"So you were just going to leave, to vanish forever, and you didn't think Sora would go after you and spend another year searching for you after I told him who you were? I expect that sort of nonsensical thinking from Sora, but you're supposed to be the smart one, Riku."
Riku doubted Sora would have tried to find him. Sora hadn't believed her until she had forced Sora to take hold of his hand. Sora would likely have assumed Kairi had been confused or misled during her captivity. King Mickey's word on the matter would have been enough to reassure Sora so he would stop worrying about what had happened to him. There was no point arguing about it and riling Kairi even further, though.
He didn't blame her for being upset. It had hurt to see Sora cry that way, knowing there was nothing he could say to make it better. Sora had woken convinced that everything was alright now, that all he had to do was find him and they could put the past behind them and go home to Kairi and everything would go back to the simple happy life they had shared before. Instead Sora had been faced with a new conflict, another search, and Riku had been behaving as if he was still an enemy. Riku had handled that aspect of it very badly.
"I wouldn't do that again," he assured Kairi. "If the king agrees, then I will explain to Sora before I go. He won't have any reason to worry."
He wasn't going to give Sora a reason to leave Kairi behind in order to look for him. That was probably what she was afraid of, because Sora was the sort to do that if he thought a friend of his was in trouble. Sora took it for granted that Kairi would understand and simply wait behind until he returned again. Sora was still viewing her as 'home', the person to come back to, where everything was fine and good and always would be. It would take time for Sora to notice how much Kairi had changed. She was as headstrong as any of the princesses now, but she had also tasted the power and responsibility that came from wielding a keyblade. She would never let herself be left behind again, and the sooner Sora realized that the better. If Sora took off, Kairi was likely to be the one chasing after him this time and they couldn't count on her having an instant team, like Donald and Goofy, randomly appearing to back her up in her adventure.
"Are you going to explain to him why you want to leave?" asked Kairi. "The real reason?"
Riku looked at her closely. Did she know the real reason? Maybe she had read it in his heart when he had been trapped in that other form, maybe she had gotten it from Namine, who had delved into the memories of Riku's clone, or maybe she had suspected it for a long time now and that was part of why she had become so uncomfortable around him.
"How much did you get from Namine?" asked Riku.
Kairi shook her head quickly. "She won't talk to me. Maybe she can't. But there was a moment when you two came home when I looked at Sora and she was there, seeing Roxas in him. It was just a wisp, just for a moment, but I could feel how glad she was he had done the right thing, and sadness because he never had a choice and he would never remember...something. Something important. I can still feel her guilt sometimes."
Xion. Because ending Xion's existence had somehow stolen the memories of her from everyone who had known her. Riku's own memories of her had grown hazy for a time, but they had come back, maybe because he and Namine had been outside of the magic. He would rather have lost those memories for good. Everything concerning Xion had been wrong.
"Many sad things happened while Sora was sleeping," said Riku. "Namine was at the center of it all, but she wasn't the original cause. When Sora was swept from the island, your heart went into him. Freeing your heart with a keyblade turned him into a heartless and created nobodies of each of you. If there was another way to free your heart, none of us knew about it. Namine didn't ask to be created and she had no choice in how she was used or what she was forced to do. It wasn't just the Organization. Ansem the Wise also used her, and I acted as his hands. Namine's sadness is understandable, but she has nothing to feel guilty about. You certainly don't, Kairi."
"But she also did something to you," Kairi insisted. "Didn't she? Sometimes when I look at you there's a wisp and she's there, looking at you, but you look different, young and hurt and..."
"Dark?" Riku gave a sad smile. "That wasn't me. The Organization made a clone of me and Namine altered his memories in order to set him against Sora. Has Sora told you about his adventure in the whale? About the little wooden boy?"
"He told me he was inside a giant whale. He didn't mention a little boy."
Probably because he hadn't wanted to tell Kairi what Riku had done during that encounter. Riku wondered if that was to protect the way Kairi thought of him, or just because Sora didn't like talking about unpleasant things when there were happier things to discuss. Either way, Riku was fine with that. Even at his lowest point he had never turned against Kairi. She didn't need the details, and he wasn't interested in revisiting that time any more than he already did when he was alone.
"It was a puppet, a little wooden doll brought to life. But his creator loved him like a father and that was what gave him a heart of his own. My clone was a lot like that boy, except it was the memories that gave him life. When Namine altered those memories she gave him something that made him different from me. She made him an original person, with feelings that were his alone, rather than just a clone. In the end, he was glad for that."
"Did he die?" Kairi winced. "Because of Namine?"
"Because of the Organization. I'm the one who destroyed him when they set him against me. We talked as he faded. Whether that is considered death depends on who you ask." Ansem the Wise would have said the clone was never alive to begin with since it had no heart of its own, but he had also insisted nobodies were incapable of having feelings. He had been wrong about that. Very wrong.
Kairi wrapped her arms around herself. "That's so awful. Sora has been telling me about the places he has been, but he makes it all sound wonderful and fun. He doesn't talk about the awful things you two have gone through. How can he be as cheerful as always after going through things like that?"
"He's Sora," Riku smiled. "That's just what he does."
Kairi couldn't help but smile back, because it was so true. Sora smiled in the face of sadness the way some people laughed in the face of danger. Sometimes the silly smile didn't reach his eyes, but he made it a point to try. Cheering himself up always helped to cheer up those around him. He really was like a mini sun warming things everywhere he went.
"Do you love him the same way I do?" asked Kairi.
Riku was surprised by the question. She was still smiling, as if she wasn't the least bit worried about how he might answer. That was just as well. She had no reason to worry.
"I don't know," he admitted quietly.
He looked out over the ocean. He loved him too much for a friend, but he had been prepared to walk away from him forever. When he had thought he would be trapped in that dark form he had intended to spend the rest of his life, a new life, never having any contact with Sora again. He couldn't imagine Kairi doing that by choice, so he didn't love Sora as much as she did.
"But it's physical for you, right?" She blushed when Riku sent her a startled look. "I don't mean to be crude or to pry, it's just, well, we're older now and isn't it natural for love and attraction to go together? I've been thinking about things like that lately," she ducked her head in embarrassment, "not anyone in particular, just in general. All our classmates are dating now. You have never shown any interest in girls. Of course, Sora hasn't, either, not that kind of interest, but he's Sora so who even knows with him. But," she took a deep breath and looked up at him, "if you do love him that way and you want to leave because you consider him taken, by me, then I think you're being premature. I love him dearly, so the thought of having a romance with him is lovely, but he doesn't seem the least bit interested in that sort of thing. And, physically, I'm more attracted to you and Tidus than I am to him. Not because there's anything wrong with Sora, it's just...I don't like the way he makes me feel like a little girl. I want him to notice and appreciate the fact that I'm not a little girl. I know he's young at heart, he's Sora, so I'd be content to wait if that's all it is. But if he isn't noticing because he isn't interested in girls at all, then...you know."
He didn't know. The thought of her being attracted to him was disturbing. Riku would never do that. He and Sora had competed over Kairi far too much for Sora to see it as anything but a loss, possibly a betrayal, as if Riku had intentionally 'stolen' her from him. He could imagine her dating someone like Tidus with Sora's blessing, though, if Sora wanted his relationship with Kairi to remain a pure and platonic. Maybe Sora wasn't looking at her that way because he didn't want to 'dirty' what they had with 'bad' thoughts. Sora could be childishly silly about things like what an 'ideal' romance was supposed to be. Maybe exposure to the princesses had hurt rather than helped. As far as Sora knew, those relationships climaxed with the first fairy tale kiss. For those couples, a dance or two and some hand-holding was the closest they came to exploring their physical chemistry before they kissed and immediately married. Princesses didn't date, they married the first man to kiss them and trusted destiny to ensure that the man who had kissed them was their ideal partner in life. But Kairi hadn't been raised as a princess. She was a teenager watching her classmates test their wings, in a world where bad marriages fell apart. Was Riku just as bad as Sora? Destiny had place Kairi in Sora's care, so he saw no reason for her to have doubts about how perfect they were for each other.
"Talk to him about it," said Riku. "Sora missed the last few years of high school. His idea of romance is taken from children's stories and what he has seen happening with the other princesses. He may be treating you the way he thinks he's supposed to, without realizing it's not how you want to be treated. All you have to do is tell him how you feel. You have never hesitated to tease and correct him when he was making a fool of himself. Why be shy now? Sora knows how headstrong you are. He likes that about you."
"What about you?" she asked. "Are you going to talk to him?"
"About what?"
Kairi scowled in frustration. He was doing on purpose, she decided. Riku had been gone for as long as Sora, so he had also missed out on the last few years of high school. But Riku had started out far more mature than Sora, so he should still be way ahead of him. Riku couldn't pretend to be as oblivious as Sora. If nothing else, Riku had to be aware of how the others were looking at him. Even Selphie was openly flirting with Riku now, and she was the one who had hinted to Kairi that Riku might be gay. There was only one openly gay guy in their grade, and while he was too intimidated to ask Riku out, he was making up excuses to be near him and checking him out with his eyes. Riku wasn't avoiding the guy, so it must not bother him much. But he had to have noticed. Even Sora had noticed, sort of, wanting to know when he had become so interested in playing blitzball and telling him that he needed a lot more practice if he wanted to keep up with Riku. Wakka and Tidus had gotten a good laugh out of that.
"Are you attracted to him or not?" Kairi pushed. "If you want to leave because of me, because of me and Sora, then it would be ridiculous for you to do so without-"
"I don't know," Riku said firmly. "I haven't put as much thought into physical attraction as you have, Kairi. I enjoy sparring with him in physical competitions, especially now that he's better than me at some things and it's more of a challenge. But it has always been that way with us. I have never imagined...dating him. There was never any chance of our relationship being romantic in nature. I can't give him the future he wants. No wedding, no children, no happily ever after. I don't want to leave because of you, Kairi. I did consider you something of a rival when I first realized I was having to share Sora's attention with you. But that was just me not wanting to be replaced as Sora's best friend. I felt the same way when Sora chose to search for you with Donald and Goofy, leaving me behind. I had gotten it in my head that my place in life was at Sora's side, and I didn't understand why he didn't need me the way I needed him. Mickey helped me figure it out. The darkness needs the light and seeks it out. The light doesn't need the darkness and shies away from it. When I was alone in the dark, Mickey was there as a light for me, just like you were for Sora. If I follow my heart, like Sora does, I might find someone out there who needs me as a light. It would have to be someone fairly dark, though, since my own light is so faint now."
Kairi stared at him with a tightness in her throat and a growing sense of dread. It felt as if the moon had been covered by some enormous mass that was hovering over the entire sky, threatening to fall and crush the life out of them. What was he thinking? He couldn't be serious. He wasn't just talking about going on ahead for a short time, to give them a chance to be alone together. He was talking about leaving them completely and replacing them with someone else. How could he not see the bloody hole that would leave in Sora's heart? Her own heart felt as if it was being squeezed so tightly it was hard to breathe, and there was a creeping coldness all over her body. He couldn't do that. If Sora didn't stop him, she would.
"Sora needs you," Kairi said fiercely. "Of course he does. How can you not see that? Even now when we're supposed to be happy because we're finally all home together again, he's worried sick about you. He can already feel you trying to separate yourself and it's not right, Riku. You can't do that. This is where you belong. It's no wonder the king wants us to work together to be a better trinity. We haven't even started and you want to turn your back on us? How could you, Riku?"
"I'm not turning my back," said Riku. "I would never do that. Sora needs me as his friend. I always will be. Our hearts are connected. If he's in trouble I would find my way to him no matter where I am or who I'm with. I would do the same for you, Kairi, because you and I are also connected. You are to me what I am to Sora, an important part of home, of our shared childhood. That won't change. I don't know why the king is set on the idea of us working as a trio, but there is no need for it. Sora already has a trio in Donald and Goofy. I doubt you and I could ever work as well with Sora as they do. If you and Sora need a third then Donald would be a better choice than I would. His magic is very powerful and he can lend his energy to make Sora even better at spells. I expect you'll also be very good with magic. You could learn a lot from Donald if we can't get this magic school to accept you as a student."
"That's not the point and you know it! Donald isn't the one with a keyblade, you are. He isn't Sora's best friend, you are. He isn't the one who-"
"Kairi," he said gently. "Everything will work out fine. You'll see. Sora worries about me because I have a tendency to delve into the dark when I'm on my own. But the first time I told myself I was doing it for you, because I convinced myself it was the only way to save you, and that I wasn't doing it just to get back at Sora out of jealousy. I was young and misguided and didn't realize how easily I was being manipulated by the people I was dealing with. I thought I was in control and that my way was the right way. I was a fool. The second time I did it, I did it for Sora, because I thought defeating Sora's nobody by force was the only way to restore Sora's memories. I was again manipulated, by Ansem the Wise, who was convinced that nobodies were incapable of feeling any genuine emotions. He was wrong. I now suspect that Roxas was seeking Sora out himself. I might have been able to accomplish my task without using any force at all. I have learned from my mistakes. I'll reassure Sora so he doesn't worry I'll keep repeating the same mistakes the second I'm out of his sight. He wants to protect me because that's what he does with his friends. But I'm a protector of the light just like he is. I don't need protection."
Kairi had a sudden urge to hit him or shove him or...something. He was being an idiot. He obviously did need protection. He had just given some very good proof of that fact. She had never thought of Riku as being easily manipulated. For multiple people to have manipulated him, repeatedly, over the course of years? That sounded more like Sora than Riku. She clearly didn't know the two of them as well as she had thought she did. But she would fix that. They would have plenty of time to get to know each other better because Riku wasn't going anywhere on his own. She would talk to Sora herself if she had to.
She scoffed, tossing the hair off her shoulder and giving him a mocking look. "Here I thought you were so much more mature than Sora. You have a lot of growing up to do, Riku."
"What?" Riku asked in surprise.
"Well, just look at you," Kairi waved. "Alone together on a lovely moonlit beach with a beautiful young woman who has admitted she is attracted to you and you haven't even tried to put your arm around my shoulders. You're either painfully innocent or you're gay. Which is it?"
"Neither," Riku scowled. He got to his feet and turned away. For a second it had felt like she was flirting with him. Just the thought of that had goosebumps breaking out on his arms. He didn't envy Sora if she decided to take a more direct approach to her relationship with him. "I just respect my friends too much to intrude on their relationship. Let's go back. You shouldn't be out here this late, especially with me. The mayor doesn't like me."
Kairi laughed and joined him on the walk to the pier. "He doesn't like the thought of what might happen if I were alone with you. He says I was looking at you a little too much when we all had dinner at my house. He warned me that I might make Sora jealous. As if that could happen. He considers Sora as harmless as ever, but he thinks you're much too mature for me. If only he knew..."
Riku shot her a wary look as she laughed again. The mayor had seemed the same as always during that dinner, but the man had been under the usual gummy ship magic, talking to Mickey and Donald and Goofy as if it was normal for people like them to appear in their world. Riku had only noticed the man's sudden dislike of him a few days later, when he and Sora had met her at her door for a trip to the island.
Was she just teasing him? She had stopped teasing him unless it was to make Sora laugh and join in, because she hadn't been comfortable enough to do that with him. It was nice to have her more comfortable with him. Wasn't it? It should be nice. Instead it made him feel uneasy about where he stood with her.
He had moved past viewing her as the person 'stealing' Sora away from him. His own darkness had put a wedge between him and Sora, and between him and Kairi. He was the one who had been pushing them both away. All of that time spent alone with her lifeless body had reminded him of how he had been drawn to her from the moment he had seen her. He now knew it was her light that had drawn him to her, and maybe his own light had been bright enough back then to draw her to him. It ended up being Sora's light that bonded them all together, but Riku had seen himself as the big brother in their little family, enjoying their antics and trying to protect them so they didn't get themselves into trouble. She and Sora had both had too much energy and too little sense. She hadn't been nearly as clumsy as Sora, though. Sora had been quick to show off and quicker to land on his face and pretend he wasn't crying from the pain while she and Riku fussed over him afterward.
He did want Kairi to feel comfortable with him, to trust him like she had as a child. Even at his darkest point he had done his best to protect Kairi. He had never betrayed or hurt her the way he had with Sora. She had nothing to fear from him, certainly not where her relationship with Sora was concerned. But the thought of her comfortably flirting with him or even hinting at it in a teasing way made him very nervous. There was no telling what strange ideas Sora might get if she did it in front of him. He should say something to her now, just to be safe.
"Kairi," he started, only to stop suddenly.
Kairi had her hands behind her back, and she leaned close with a teasing grin. "Yes, Riku?"
"What are you thinking?" he blurted.
"I think you're very young for your age," she smiled, "just like Sora. Don't worry, Riku. Everything will work out fine. Because I'm a protector of the light, too, now. Take my word for it, your light is still very strong. Just like the moon is a beacon in the night." She turned and raised her arm as if she wanted to catch the moon in her hand. She didn't see the way Riku flinched, the color draining from his face.
Had some part of her seen him do that? He had done that on the clock tower, with Kairi's painfully lifeless body slumped against the wall behind him. She couldn't have seen that. Her heart had been safe with Sora. But suddenly he could see it, as if he was the empty husk staring out of seemingly dead eyes. He saw himself as she might have, utterly alone in the dark, reaching out for the light. Kairi's light? Sora's light? He would have taken any light if it would have shown him the way to go. But there hadn't been any light, not for him, and so he had continued on deeper into the dark. It had taken a long time for even Mickey's light to reach him. Because he had turned his back on the light and was reaching in the wrong direction. The moon had no light of its own, just the light it reflected from the sun. Without a sun, the moon was a dead darkened thing. He turned away sharply, dropping his head so his overgrown bangs obscured his eyes.
"Come on, Kairi," he murmured. "It's late and we have classes tomorrow."
"Okay," Kairi agreed.
Her smile faded as she followed him. By the time Riku left her on her doorstep, even though he knew she would be slipping in her bedroom window just like he and Sora did when they made a late night trip to the island, she was worried that she had somehow made things worse by talking to him. This wasn't the Riku who had been so happy to see King Mickey, who had smiled sheepishly at Sora's grin of amusement. She had felt so content to have that Riku come home. But now she could see that Riku had been fading ever since, as if he already had one foot out the door. The king had been Riku's light when he needed one. Why? Was the king's light brighter than hers and Sora's? Why hadn't their lights reached Riku when he needed them? That wasn't right. She wondered if this was how Riku had felt about Donald and Goofy. They seemed nice, and they clearly cared a lot about Sora. But neither of them could replace her or Riku, not as friends and certainly not as a trinity. Riku couldn't replace them with the king or any other stranger. He shouldn't even be thinking things like that. The idea of him out there alone, with his track record, trying to find someone 'fairly dark' was downright scary.
She would definitely be talking to Sora about this as soon as classes let out. Whether her relationship with Sora ever became something romantic or not didn't matter in the grande scheme of things. As long as the three of them stayed together everything would work out fine. The important thing at the moment was making sure Riku understood that his place was with them and he had no business wanting to take off on his own. Maybe someday they would be able to live in separate worlds, married to separate people, each with their own family, without it affecting their bond. But they weren't there yet. The king was right. They needed to work on being a real trinity. They would never get there if Riku took off and forced them to hunt him down. Because Sora would go after him, no matter what Riku thought, and Kairi would be joining the chase this time. She would never be left behind again, if she had any say in the matter.
.-.
END