A/N- Hey bbs, happy Thursday everyone! Again, please make sure you read the warnings attached in the first author's note before delving into this chapter. Please make sure that you are doing this to your comfort levels. I hope you're all doing well and staying hydrated. Trust me, your kidneys will thank you. I appreciate each and everyone of you for taking the time to read this fic and I do hope you enjoy this chapter! I also want to point out that Arcane has made me done the impossible, and absolutely adore the brother/sister dynamic between Jayce and Cait. I used to hate his character, and now this chapter is an official apology of how I wrote him before. Let us all hope we have a Jayce in our lives #LongLiveHimbos
(Savagery - Lissom, Lowswimner {Hahlweg Remix})
5 AND A HALF MONTHS LATER
"Grayson would have handled this better." Her teeth were grit in a malicious growl. The hush of the hospital hallway was disturbed by the strike of lightning that sparked against a nearby building. The floor to ceiling windows were drenched with rivers of rain. Hospital ambience was drowned out by the rumble of thunder and the anger boiling in her chest.
"Darling," Tobias tried, extending his hand out.
Both of their heads snapped when a small alarm rang off the walls of the operations unit. A few of the attendants ran past. Another doctor sprinted without so much of a word.
Tobias followed them with his eyes, worry set.
Cassandra looked toward the glass, ignoring all of the non-disclosure agreements she would need to collect to keep every single one of those health professionals quiet.
"She needs our support more than ever." Tobias murmured quietly. A flash of lightning illuminated the room. "We cannot abandon her."
"We are not abandoning her," Cassandra hissed with venom in her throat. Anger lined the shivers in her shoulders and the taut cable of her jaw. "But we cannot allow this to get out. I don't understand her choices, nor do I think it's appropriate, but if this gets out, Tobias, we will be ruined."
"They cannot ruin what stands united." Tobias reminded with the comforting warmth he always displayed when she was this stressed. "This will not be attached to us, my love. The Sampsons have sworn to keep everything under wraps to not only protect Caitlyn, but to protect their new baby."
"It is not them that I am concerned about." Cassandra growled under her breath as thunder rolled through the city of Piltover. "She's fourteen, Tobias. We haven't even debuted her!"
Steps made their way toward the two Kirammans. Doctor Eli Sampson approached, a grin beaming across his wide face. He was a large man with shoulders wider than most doorways and hands the size of dinner plates. Wavy blonde hair was hidden underneath a surgical cap. Blood stained the front of his Doctor's scrubs. "Hello, Missus and Mister Kiramman. I am delighted to say that Caitlyn has made it through the delivery process through Cesarean Section. I understand that you do not want much information about the child, so I will follow your wishes and leave it that the baby is healthy and that Caitlyn is recovering well."
Cassandra crossed her arms over her chest. Lightning flicked along the windowed sky behind her. "How soon can she be discharged?"
"Well, considering her young age and a minor complication regarding her blood pressure, it would be wise to keep her under observation while we wait for her to heal. I'd say if there are no signs of staph infection, about a week or so considering how well she progresses." The Doctor explained reasonably. "However, right now, the best thing for Miss Kiramman is for her to have plenty of rest and peace and quiet. We have created a schedule of the nurses and practitioners that you have approved and delegated regarding the confidentiality of the issue. I can assure you that your daughter is in safe and caring hands."
Tobias nodded.
Cassandra tried to keep her frustration at bay.
"The adoption paperwork has been handed to your solicitors, Doctor Sampson." Mister Kiramman informed. "You should be able to collect the child within a few business days once the child is discharged. The birth certificate will be signed off by the end of the night."
"Thank you." Eli murmured gratefully, and extended his hand to the raven haired man.
Tobias accepted it and shook with equally grateful energy.
Eli offered his hand to Cassandra.
With an awkward nod she took it. "I wish you and your wife the best. I hope the child gives you better happiness than it did us."
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(Borderlines - Vraell)
The world felt oddly slow. There was something agitating about the blankets that it caused a quick stinging pain in her abdomen. She felt stiff, groggy and slightly confused.
"I've told you before, guests are not approved for the section of the ward. It's closed off." She heard a very calm voice explain.
"I know, but I'm her family." A familiar voice replied urgently.
"Mister Talis, unless you can provide proof that you're the immediate family of the Kiramman's, I'd suggest you leave before we both get reprimanded."
"Listen, I just need five minutes. Just long enough to know she is alright. I have the things she requested from me before she went into labor." Jayce pleaded. "Please, I promise to stay quiet and to be out of your way. I just hate to think of her alone."
"Mister Talis-"
"Jayce?" She croaked.
There was a moment of silence, and careful steps made their way toward her.
"Miss Kiramman? I apologize, but visitors are not to disturb you."
"Was that what my mother ordered, or Doctor Sampson?"
The silence was telling enough.
"You can let him in."
"Miss Kira-"
"You can let my brother in." She ordered with a bit of venom behind her hoarse words. She had to admit she didn't need to be so aggressive but the grogginess of whatever they had given her made her quite irritable.
"Of course."
Footsteps mingled together. There was a difference between the confident steps of the nurse who carefully worked around her, taking note of her vitals, and the slow awkward steps of Jayce approaching her bed.
"Hey snoops," he greeted with a warm voice. A chair scraped closer and the senior student rested into the faded blue material. "I brought the stuff you wanted."
Caitlyn smiled and held her hand out to the young man. "Even the strawbellies?"
"Even the strawbellies. You nearly cleared the whole store out, you know?" Jayce confirmed. He then looked over to the nurse. "Is she allowed to eat yet?"
"She isn't Nil by Mouth."
Jayce blinked toward the nurse, unsure of what she had just instructed.
She rolled her eyes fiercely. "She is permitted, so yes, she can eat."
A moment of relief flooded over him. "Thank you."
"Your five minutes start now, Mister Talis. I would rather you make yourself scarce before Councilor Kiramman threatens my job," The nurse informed tersely.
"Of course," Jayce agreed while he placed the bag under her bed and away from sightlines.
The nurse walked away briskly but stayed within earshot for Caitlyn's safety.
"You were out for three whole days. How are you feeling?"
"I'm annoyed." The young girl complained, trying to resettle herself on the terribly padded mattress. "Did you hear all of the legal book thumping she's put on these poor people? She's threatened everyone into complete silence. She won't even tell me who is adopting the baby."
"It's like she's ready to sue all of Piltover in a heartbeat. She has a whole legal team skulking about at the manor."
Caitlyn rolled her eyes. "Does she expect me to be cooped up in my room until I'm allowed back out into society? This isn't going to be like last time. The media had no right to get involved. My mother and them should know I have a life, I have work that needs to get done."
"Cait…"
"Did any leads come up while I was away?"
"No, but…"
"No matter, I read up on a journal about unlocking photographic memory skills, I might be able to come up with something."
"Cait…"
"Did anyone get a follow up with the lead detective on the case? Did you go through with it like we planned?"
"Caitlyn." Jayce stopped. He grabbed her hand with both of his palms and set his feet to the floor a bit firmer. "I think you need to let this go. Not because I don't think you can solve it, but because I'm not sure if you are safe enough. What if he finds you again? You have no idea who he is and the last time you encountered whoever it was, he left you in the woods to rot. You were missing for months, Caitlyn."
"Because if I don't find him, who else will? Grayson isn't here anymore and the tensions with the lower city-"
"You're fourteen, Caitlyn. You need to rest and process what happened to you." Jayce huffed with a fierce stubbornness.
"What if he goes after others?"
The aggravation that took over Jayce faded away instantly.
"I know how he operates. If I can just get his identity, or remember anything important that can get the detectives to do something about it…Everyone will be safer."
"I see what you're saying, but you need to understand something, snoops." Jayce began, taking his time to let the words and sincerity sit deep in her chest. He hoped that she would listen, that for once Caitlyn Kiramman didn't fight the restraints constantly being pulled on her. "This isn't a battle for you, not now. You have trauma to work through, and a life to get back on track. You're young, with so much ahead of you and you cannot let this derail it."
"What are you saying?" The betrayal in her voice nearly shattered him. Her hands slowly pulled away from him in a disgusted sniff. He watched as a tear slid down her cheek, and off her chin.
He closed his eyes, heaving a sigh as his head fell. "Heal, Cait. Get stronger. Then you can find the bastard and we can make him pay."
She stared at him wordlessly. Her bottom lip trembled like an earthquake, shaking the supports of his heart.
He cared deeply for his young friend. He did his best to support her, to listen and to help solve any problems that came her way. He had watched over her during this pregnancy, understanding her choice after the perils she had overcome.
They were both interrupted in their silent argument, both contemplative of how far they had both come, by an argument outside of the private room.
Jayce raised an eyebrow to the teenager who leaned forward to get a better chance at hearing what was being said.
"I'm not getting fired over this!" one voice tried to hiss.
"But you and I both know it's needed. We have a shortage and maybe she might agree with it." Another voice tried to reason. "Who knows, right?"
"You're an absolute moron. One, she's a child. Two, did you ever think of the possible psychological trauma you could put on her for it?"
"She chose to give birth to the baby when she didn't have to."
"No, I'm putting my foot down!"
"Nurse?" Caitlyn called curiously.
Jayce rocked back in his chair, a slight bit of annoyance ticking at his chin.
There was silence for a few moments before there was finally a reply.
"Miss Kiramman?" A soothing voice called over quietly, much different than the snarky exhausted tone of the previous nurse.
Caitlyn took a moment to wipe the tears from her face. "What is going on?" Her voice slightly warbled.
A nurse's head popped into the threshold of the door, clearly trying to hide the bundle of blankets in her arms. She was younger than the others she had encountered. Corrigan was etched into the name tag on her chest. "I'm terribly sorry, but I cannot find a parent or guardian to get consent but…this is going to come up a bit forward, but would you like to start breastfeeding?"
A shocked look hit Caitlyn's features. She swallowed the lump growing in her throat. "Am I allowed to? I mean, would it be alright…for the baby? After the anesthesia?"
"Yes, the anaesthetic should be out of your system by now. We're currently having a problem. She isn't gaining the weight we want her to and she hasn't been able to settle. She won't take the formula, and well, maybe, if you're comfortable with it, you would like to try?"
Jayce flinched in shock but looked to Caitlyn to see what she would want.
She? Curiously, the young Kiramman looked at the blankets in the nurse's arms. "Is that…is that the baby?"
The nurse gave a very gentle smile that beamed brighter than most suns. "It is, she's been very restless so we just take her for walks around every now and again. Would you like to meet her?"
"I don't know if I should. Maybe I might need to think about it, just for now." The fourteen year old admitted in shame. "Is she going to be okay?"
"We're going to figure that out, sweetheart. We might need to locate a donor and see if she takes to that better than formula. We think her system is just craving colostrum."
"Colostrum?" The Talis man asked with a strange look to his face.
"It's a fluid that the mother's…uh breasts make." The nurse half stuttered, a bit uncertain of how appropriate it was to talk about a fourteen year old to a grown man.
Jayce seemed unphased, a more determined look focusing his eyes.
"It has a lot of nutrients that can improve the baby's immunity and gut health. It's critical in the first few days." Caitlyn murmured while looking down to her hands. A line of guilt struck her features. "She missed a few days already."
"Miss Kiramman, it isn't your fault. What you're doing…what you've done, is extremely noble. You have done enough, it's our department that failed the both of you right now." Corrigan's eyebrows drew down in concern.
The teenager looked up to the nurse with wide eyes.
"May I meet her?" Jayce piped up breaking the moment.
"If you wear a mask and wash your hands, you definitely can." The nurse explained.
"Would you be okay with that, Cait?" Jayce asked before rising from his plastic hospital chair.
The teenager took a moment to think about it. "I don't see why not. I'm just a bit…scared. I don't know if…I could do...I'm just not sure yet. This can be a litmus test in a manner of speaking." She reasoned plainly. She looked to the nurse for reassurance, who gave a very kind smile in return.
She seemed to be a very kind woman with beautiful caramel skin, and large hazel eyes that brightened with her kind smile. Her hair had been held back in a light green cap, and her scrubs seemed to be fresh, which indicated the start of her shift. She pointed toward the mask box on the wall, while still maintaining a strong hold on the baby in her arms.
Jayce was quick to reach for the blue medical mask. He skipped over to the room sink, scrubbing away at his skin, while Caitlyn watched him, anxiously gnawing at her lip.
He presented his hands for inspection toward the nurse who chuckled. "Take a seat, sir."
Once he sat down, the nurse came over to him and gently laid the new born baby in his lap. She instructed him to carefully wrap his arms and support the neck and head.
The quiet peace around the room made time slow to an absolute stop. For a moment while watching Jayce take hold of the child…her child, Caitlyn was struck with a massive jealousy that snared her heart with a vice-like grip. She felt her heart try to fight, demanding a connection she was foreign to.
The man before her seemed to crumple with hiccups before he met the eyes of his young friend. "Cait she's…God's I can't even describe it. She's so….little."
"Surprisingly, she is a lot bigger than most thirty-six week olds. Nearly made it to the cut off date of being classified premature. But we need to get her weight up."
"It was probably all of the strawbellies I smuggled in for you." Jayce chuckled, his flaxen eyes welling. "Hello kid," He whispered to the baby in his arms. "You made Cait have some crazy cravings. Do you know how hard it is to get my hands on blueberry cupcakes in this city? Especially ones that Cait approves of? The two of you were so fussy. Makes all the sense in the world that you're fussy now."
The fourteen year old fought every instinct that magnetized her to Jayce's arms. She kept her eyes closed, and tried to focus on how airships were created. The metals they required to build the hull. The engines that used Jayce's new technology to power forward into new worlds. She wondered what the future would be like and how it would sway to the strength of the metropolis. Slowly, her mind drifted to the baby. What would be her future? Would she walk the streets of Piltover just like the other aristocrats? Would she be a politician, ironically being what Cassandra wanted her own daughter to be? Would she be a Doctor? A lawyer? A scientist?
Or would she be just stuck in the lowest depths of society, not understanding where she came from or who brought her into the world, never knowing who she was?
A new fear struck her gut, curdling her thoughts.
What if he got her?
"Miss Kiramman?" The nurse questioned in a moment of uncertainty.
"Cait?" The concern in Jayce's voice brought her from her thoughts. He held his hand up to calm the nurse who seemed ready to jump in. The way his flaxen eyes bore into her, caused the world to tip.
She had no idea she was hyperventilating. It was if rabbits were kicking her chest with powerful slams as the anxiety crawled up her body and choked up her throat. She gripped the blankets in her hands.
She was running in the woods. Her bare feet were snagged by a tangle of roots. The impact of her body in the cradle of a large oak tree caused her to cry out. Everything hurt. The burns on her legs still sizzled with the smell of burnt hair. The acrid stench of chemical fire huffed into the night sky.
Looking behind her, she saw him.
In the silhouette of flame and pitch black forest, he watched the shed crumble to pieces, his back to the woods that surrounded her. He was unaware that she had escaped. Unaware that she was still alive. Unaware that he hadn't fully strangled her. Unaware that the blood from her body hadn't fully spilled out.
The dark mask was clasped in his hands. His face had been hidden during the entirety of their encounters. Every moment hidden by black fabric. A nightmare that clung to the walls of her mind while she slept with one eye open. The world crashed into chaos when the mask would walk in, ready to torture her for another eternity. He never spoke, only grunted in pleasure or displeasure. She was a toy for him to destroy bit by burning bit.
"How many targets are in the woods?" Jayce's voice sounded so distant in her ears.
She swallowed. "Twenty three at the practice range, seven in the competitive."
"How many airships does Piltover currently own?"
"Sixteen, not including the three that are nearly finished."Her eyes stayed closed as she focused on the exercise. This was something familiar. The whole process was more grounding than the questions themselves.
"What is their hull made out of?"
"A titanium alloy that can withstand the gravitational force."
"Breathe slow for me, snoops. Count to ten and think of every rivet that they need to drill together," Jayce instructed calmly, his voice more clear. "You aren't there anymore, you're safe. A bit bruised and stitched, but still safe."
"It's the pain medicine." She shuddered deeply, doing her best to stay focused on the present. "It's making me blurry."
Carefully, the young nurse walked around her, taking in her vitals, and making sure the IV drip was finished.
Jayce kept a sentinel watch over her, the baby still clutched in his hands protectively. "Why don't you hold her, Cait? Would that help?" He offered.
She thought about it.
Genuinely, she did. Her arms wanted to wrap around the child and cry into the blankets. She wanted to scream in the agony that tore at her heart.
"No." Was her simple answer.
Jayce's face fell in disappointment, before it went into understanding.
The nurse moved swiftly, gently taking the baby and exited the room as quick as a hawk.
"Caitlyn, it's going to be…"
"I need to be alone," She cut him off firmly.
"Are you sure, snoops?" Hurt lined his throat while he removed the medical mask from his face.
"Please. I just need…I just need to think and sort myself out." She replied with a soft whisper.
Jayce sighed before he stood up to his full height. He gently put a hand to her blanketed foot, pouring as much comfort into the touch as he could manage. "If you need me..."
"I'll send for you."
Without another word, Jayce slowly walked out of the private room, waiting for her to call him back. A very large part of him wanted to stay and fight off her demons, but he sensed something about his very young friend. This was a journey she needed to face alone. A fear so powerful that it even strangled a bit of his own being.
What would be next?
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(Blind Faith - How Great Were The Robins)
Hospital hallways have ominous shadows in the middle of the night.
Feet padded quietly down the length of the corridor. A nurse had raised her head to her presence, before returning back to her work. This had been a new habit lately that the staff were becoming accustomed to. The nights were becoming too heavy to sleep through, leaving a sour taste in the young Kiramman's mouth, so while she pondered her current decisions, she decided to wander the halls of the private ward until the limit of her cesarean section wounds made her stop. Insomnia and the what ifs made the patience with herself thin. She could still do something about it, she could still put him behind bars, she could still make the world safe…for her.
If her mother were here, she would let loose the arrows of her anger, threatening any job she could get her hands on, if she caught Caitlyn meandering the halls stuck in her own frustrated thoughts.
But ever since the birth, Cassandra Kiramman had made herself…scarce. It felt uncharacteristic of her and her control issues. However, Caitlyn Kiramman took it as a blessing. The nurses seemed to have loosened their fear of the matriarch, happy to carry on with their jobs undisturbed.
Tonight though, Caitlyn had her own plans.
It embarrassingly took her a while to find the NICU, even though it was next to the maternity ward. She peered into the main hallway, watching as nurses and sisters were at their stations, either writing down notes or gossiping amongst themselves. One of them spotted her.
She recognized the young nurse who gave a great beaming smile. "Come in, Miss Kiramman." Nurse Corrigan invited quietly. A few of the other nurses rose an eyebrow at the young girl, curious as to why a young teenager in a hospital gown was in a Neonatal clinic in the dead of the night.
Caitlyn was unsure of herself, but they had talked about this earlier today. She could leave whenever she wanted, she didn't need to do this.
But a major part of herself needed to know if she was capable enough. If she could be an adult and make decisions that were right for herself. She was going to make this decision with the right mind set. She needed to learn now, especially with the looming thoughts of her future and her place in society threatening every bit of her thoughts.
She cursed her mother for that. Why was she thinking of such little things that shouldn't matter when her attacker…the person who did the things that they did to her, was still loose from the law?
And that reason was why this was such a stepping stone. Because if she could do this, if she could face meeting her…biological child, she could go to the police academy. She could be everything she needed to be, everything that she had needed when it mattered most. She could be the answer and the solution to her own problem.
"I'm ready." She whispered to the young nurse.
She smiled in reply and placed a very soothing hand to Caitlyn's shoulder. "Right this way, Miss Kiramman."
The nurse led the way down the quiet corridor. The passed by nurseries full of babies that either slept soundly or were being tended by the hard working health care professionals. They reached the final door at the end of the hall, and with a quick rap of the nurse's knuckles, they were granted permission to enter.
Caitlyn Kiramman was surprised to say the least. Out of every family she could think of her mother contacting to be the adoptive parents of…her biological daughter, she didn't expect Cassandra to choose them.
"Hello, Missus Sampson." The nurse greeted in a whisper, careful not to wake the child bundled up into the beautiful woman sitting in a hospital rocking chair.
Caitlyn swallowed the nerves that went all around her body. She wanted to cry, to fight, to apologize profusely and leave the room.
No, she had to stay. Not just for herself, but for the baby.
"Hello," Sarah hummed in content welcome. Her sunlike smile was brighter than the young nurse's. A smattering of freckles dotted her beautiful heart shaped face and dimpled cheeks. Her soulful deep ocean blue eyes calmed the young Kiramman's anxieties immediately. Long velvet black hair was clipped into a messy bun. She was in a hand knitted sky blue cardigan that nearly matched the blankets the baby was nestled in. "I'm sorry if this was a bit forward of me, but, thank you. When Nurse Corrigan had said you were willing to do this, I…didn't expect it. Please do not take this as me complaining. I'm just very glad for this."
The teenager nodded, a slight tinge of crimson hitting her cheeks. "She needs my help."
If it were anymore possible, Sarah beamed even brighter.
"I'll just check some vitals and I can leave you three alone." Nurse Corrigan offered.
While the young nurse did her routine, Caitlyn hugged herself. She gnawed at her lip unsure of how to go about the angle of starting up a good conversation. Sarah Sampson was something of a legend in Piltovian society.
An architect by trade and a strong activist for the breathing rights of the fissure folk, she took control by action. Unlike Cassandra Kiramman where words and manners were what made a strong socialite , Sarah Sampson was the pinnacle of taking control by your own hands, and sorting it out in kind. Not to mention the Sampson family were notorious philanthropists where on many occasions had funded many charities from animal shelters to disease research to even personally funding a lower city orphanage.
If Caitlyn were the one to make the decision to choose the family, she would have chosen the Sampsons without question.
The nurse exited the room finally.
Sarah released a tense sigh. "I'm sorry for such an informal meeting and to have this be so secretive, but your mother…"
"Is difficult," Caitlyn finished for her.
A small chuckle came from the woman. "Yes, difficult. Why don't you take a seat, sweetheart?" She paused for a moment, looking down at the small child who awoke from her sleep and began wiggling in the bundle. Caitlyn sat in the armchair across from the rocking chair. "I just want to make sure that this is what you want. That this isn't being forced on you. All of it, darling. If you don't approve of any of this…I just…I want you to feel comfortable with this. I know you're still young yourself, but you have every right to voice your concerns and opinions."
The teenager nodded awkwardly. The blush that creeped at her cheeks was now covering over her entire neck. "I…you are the one adopting her right?"
"Yes, Doctor Sampson and I have been given parental rights, and once the adoption becomes completely fulfilled when she leaves the hospital, the process will be legally finished." Sarah confirmed.
"Okay, that is good. Really good actually."
Sarah seemed surprised. "Really?"
"Yes," The teenager affirmed. "I'd rather she goes to a good family that I know will be raised right. It actually makes me a lot less anxious."
Sarah nodded while she rocked back and forward in the rocking chair.
"I suggested it, by the way. No one…no one forced me to decide. When I heard that she needed help, I wanted to, I just wasn't ready. I want this." Caitlyn affirmed. Her fingers started to pick at the skin around her nails. She looked toward the wall, her lip gnawed by her teeth. "When…I know this is…I'm sorry I'm not sure…"
''It's okay, darling. Take your time and breathe." Sarah soothed in a calming whisper. "If you ever feel uncomfortable, for any reason, you are more than free to go. You're not trapped here. You've done more than enough for our family, and this is just even more of a favour. You aren't obligated."
Caitlyn took a deep breath to calm her nerves.
"Have you held her yet?"
The teenager shook her head.
"Maybe this is where we start. One step at a time, right?" Sarah rose from the rocking chair and stepped toward the young girl. "Have you held a baby before?"
"No, I've never had the chance. Mother is very poignant in keeping me in the conversation of the adults when family visits. It's what the future head of the family must do," Caitlyn huffed in frustration.
"Well, it'll be easier than you think. You just need to support her head and keep her body parallel with yours. Just like I've been holding her. Are you ready?"
Caitlyn released a tense breath. "No, but sometimes you need to do what you're not ready for."
Sarah gave a soft chuckle. "That is a good attitude to have for life."
"What if I drop her?"
"You won't, darling. I'll help you," Sarah reassured. She went back to her chair, easily holding the squirming baby in one arm, and grabbed a crescent shaped pillow.
At that moment, Caitlyn felt a pang of jealousy. It was a sour taste that curled around her tongue as she watched how easy it was for the woman, the stranger before her, to hold her biological daughter. She instantly felt guilty for feeling it, but it burned hot like a blue flame.
"Are you okay, sweetheart?" The concern in Sarah's voice and the way her eyebrows slanted down, made Caitlyn's guilt sit heavier.
"Yes, just…a lot of complicated emotions. I'm…sorry this is going to sound terrible, but I'm jealous. You make it look easy."
Sarah took a deep breath in, a small smile touched at the corners of her lips. "Elric, my four year old, was the worst baby I have ever come in contact with. An absolute monster and I couldn't do a thing to get him to stop screaming. I tried everything from singing, burping, feeding, changing his diaper, taking him to the doctor's, getting him new toys, putting him to bed, and I hate to admit it, but I even ignored him. He drove me to a very dark place during his time as a newborn. I had postpartum depression and thank God Eli is my husband, cause no matter what, Elric didn't scream with him. I hated my own husband for it, but I was also grateful and jealous all at the same time." The woman hummed matter-of-factly. "Jealousy is natural, darling. It's a very human emotion and it makes sense in your situation. I would not have the strength to do what you are doing, what you have done. It takes a compassionate person with a good head on their shoulders. If I were you I'd hate my guts. Especially with the way you've been treated around this, with your mother spearheading and making the decisions. I'd resent me, resent her."
"It's hard." Caitlyn agreed while she gently took the pillow from the woman who offered it to her. She set it in her lap, making sure that it felt secure. Her brows furrowed in concentration. "But I don't resent you. I'm thankful, relieved, and well yes, jealous, but in a different way. I'm jealous of your knowledge. I studied the whole time I was in my room, just in case…" she paused for a moment, letting her words properly settle in her mind. "In case I didn't agree with the family."
Sarah cocked her head in curiosity.
Caitlyn blushed deeply and returned to look at the wall.
"You were going to raise her on your own?"
"Uhh," Caitlyn began nervously. She swallowed hard, and clutched the pillow tightly. "I…" she took a deep breath. If ever, this was the time to remain honest. Sarah deserved it. "Before I knew it was her, before I made the decision to continue on with the…the pregnancy, the baby and I went through everything…Gods without the baby…without her, I would have never gotten out." A choked sob slipped from her throat. She hadn't even noticed the tears that dropped down her cheeks. "I owed it to her. I owed it to her to try and do the absolute best for her and if that meant defying my family, if that meant going against every decision that my mother made, then so be it. She saved my life. So, yes, if I didn't think that the family who was going to adopt her was good enough, I was going to take her. I packed a bag ahead of time, saved up my money, prepared myself with all of the reading and advice I could get my hands on. But now…"
Sarah with the gentleness of a butterfly wing, cupped Caitlyn's face. Her thumb drew over her high cheekbones, swiping away at a tear.
"But now I don't have to, and I hate that it feels like a relief."
"Oh, darling," Sarah hummed, her eyes brimming with her own tears. "You are a force to be reckoned with."
Caitlyn looked at the woman, perplexed. This wasn't her intention and here she was making things awkward...as always. She sniffed, and took a moment to calm the outburst. "I'm sorry."
"No, you don't need to be sorry, darling. Not even in the slightest. You have every right to say how you're feeling and what your thoughts are." Sarah explained while she looked down to the baby in her arms that cooed. Her head went down to place a careful kiss on the baby's forehead. "You have given me the world, Caitlyn Kiramman. I promise, with your blessing, she will be raised with that in mind, okay?"
Caitlyn nodded her head and gave a small smile. "Okay."
Sarah beamed again. It dazzled Caitlyn, making her heart beat a bit. "Again, just for my conscience, darling, is this something you still want to do? You can back out. You don't have to do this, we can find another way."
Caitlyn shook her head. "No. No, I can do this. I…need to do this."
"Okay," Sarah acknowledged as she stepped closer. "Remember, keep her head supported. Rest your arms on the pillow, she may feel light but after a while holding her will get heavy."
The teenager nodded fiercely. "I'm ready."
Sarah leaned over carefully moving the child toward the Kiramman girl.
As soon as the soft texture of blankets hit Caitlyn's arms, a new fear curdled her gut.
What if the baby…looked like him?
The thing was, she wouldn't know. She would have no idea what the similarities could be, or what aspects of his features she would inherit.
Caitlyn Kiramman never saw the face of her kidnapper. Her…attacker.
But now, she might get a hint, a clue as to who he was with the face of her biological… daughter.
Shit.
Her eyes went to the wall beside her immediately. The weight of the baby was surprising, and not at all what she thought it would be. She was so…warm? It was strange, but it also felt good. It took every bit of willpower she had not to look down.
What if she looked like a complete stranger? What if she looked like someone she knew?
What if…
Sarah released a small gasp. "Gods, you two…" She took a moment to relish in the awe. "She resembles you. She has your nose, your eyes…"
It was the perfect amount of encouragement. Slowly, Caitlyn turned her head, letting her eyes drift last.
She braced for it. For anything really.
But what she didn't expect were the curious ice blue eyes that looked up to her.
Her heart flooded. For that singular moment, Caitlyn couldn't help but let it envelope her fully. She remembered reading about this, about the hormones and how they would work. Attachment was just dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and beta endorphins all secreting into her bloodstream.
It felt like everything and nothing all at once, like it had been there all along. The emotions that struck her were like tidal waves, bashing against the shore of her logic and reasoning.
She wasn't at all prepared for this.
"It's powerful, isn't it?" Sarah asked with a small knowing smile. "The first time I held Elric, I thought they gave me pain medication. I was so giddy and protective. I could have chewed Eli's arm off when he went in to hold him."
"I won't chew your arm off." Caitlyn whispered with a small tilt to her lips.
"I wouldn't blame you. She's absolutely precious. Even for being fussy with her food, she's an angel. Sleeps like an absolute log." Sarah reached into the bundle of blankets, letting her finger tip drift along the cheek of the baby. "She's the most perfect baby."
Caitlyn had to agree. Even with the exchange in arms, the baby didn't even seem to mind. Her small eyes just took in the world, watching everything that came into her perspective. There was a small light gray knit cap that covered her head. Caitlyn discovered, with good humor, that a patch of raven black was hidden underneath.
"She has hair?"
Sarah chuckled. "Absolutely, she's got quite a thick mop of it. I'm considering it a good luck charm."
"I didn't read up on babies born with hair." Caitlyn frowned.
"It's a lot more common than you think."
"Interesting," Caitlyn hummed curiously. This feeling of being so enamored with this tiny…human, was so astounding in its own way. She had no idea it could feel this way. "I think I'd like to try feeding her." It surprised her that she said it so out loud. For a moment, she looked up to Sarah, unsure if she had actually said the words or if she made it up.
"Yeah? Okay, would you like me to get the nurse?" Sarah offered, already making her way to the door.
"Um…do I have to?"
Sarah blinked before she nodded her head. "Would you rather I help? Or do you want to try on your own?"
"Would it be weird if I asked for your help? I mean you don't even know me."
"You gave me a daughter, Caitlyn. We're family now, more than ever." Sarah informed in a firm yet kind manner. "I'd be honoured to help."
*************************************************(\_/)*************************************************
(Dangerous - Son Lux)
It wasn't the cold that made the nights unbearable, or the intense cramping growl of her empty stomach, or the ache in her already broken jaw. It wasn't the constant din of chatter between cells or the clatter of keys as they walked by. No, all of that was bearable.
But what wasn't?
Even though there wasn't a set of eyes, she could feel them watching.
They were waiting for any sign of insubordination so that they could come down with flying fury and metal batons.
And if it wasn't them, it was him.
He was skulking around this prison in the form of loyalty and favours owed. All it would take was an opening. But she was more able to take them, broken bones and all. Fighting another prisoner was worth the segregation time compared to 'assaulting officers of the law'.
"Fucking Topside," She spat, while she slowly got up from the slimey cement floor. Try as she might, there was nothing she could do without getting 'reprimanded' to not make it so disgusting. The sides of her ribs ached, begging for some kind of relief. Her knuckles and fingers swelled painfully. Her right knee had a sharp pain that made her wince with every step. When the sixteen year old faced the wall, she ignored it all.
She ignored every single pain, banished every mournful thought of her family and friends in the lane. She focused instead, on the sound of keys jingling in the hallways. A fairly innocent sound outside of these grimey cell block walls, but within them…it could be a death sentence.
She focused on the distant sound of the keys moving down the the dim light, boots scuffling as they checked inside each cell.
She took a deep breath, letting it roll through her body to the very tips of her toes. A firelight tapped against one of the bulbs of light next to her cell. It was the only illumination that touched the inside of her cage. No sunlight, no candle, not even a dingey and half usable lighter.
When she was a kid, when her mother and Po… and her sister were all together, she used to be afraid of wolves. All the stories her mom used to tell of them eating grandmothers and stealing away children and eating helpless little pigs with no construction skills, painted them out to be villains.
But here, she found comfort in them. They were pack animals that oftentimes went solitary when they were going through a hard time away from their families. Teeth bared to every challenge, against all odds. They could howl, and never receive one back.
Wolves were never the villains.
She changed up her stance, hands up, fist curled against the ache of swelling. A puff of air and the shift of her feet, her knuckles clashed into the cement. Single combos were first, something to just push through the pain until they felt numb. Her ribs screamed with every movement. Another puff of breath and the duck of an imaginary opponent's swing. Her knuckles cracked into the wall.
No, wolves were never the villains.
Humanity.
Humanity and its greed were the real villains.