Never did a land enjoy its time of peace quite like Dream Land. Though life here was much the same as during conflict, with the sheep grazing in the field, the air buzzing with idle chatter, and the children darting to and fro in the streets, there was one noticeable difference. A subtle feeling encased the village, like how a deep breath follows upon feeling warmth from sunlight, how the mind eases in a cool breeze. This was the feeling the citizens enjoyed, to go about their day knowing their bellies were full, the sun would still rise, and terror was a thing of the past.
Though not all interpreted the safety and comfort as pleasurable. High up the cliff overlooking the village, a castle choked on the smoke cast by the warm fire of peace the villagers relished in. Everything was dull, stagnate, almost stuffy. What good was a no stress environment if nothing changed or spiced things up? Nothing to do but to sit around and wait for night to come and bring sleep, only to wake up again in the morning and repeat the process. None of the residents of the castle felt this more than its king. As he had done for months now, King Dedede sat slumped in his throne, surrounded by crumbled up chip bags and soda cans as he flipped through the channels on his wall mounted TV.
"Escargon," he groaned, straining just loud enough to be heard but obviously not wanting to put any more effort into it than that. The snail, out on the balcony behind where the king sat, looked over his shoulder towards the pathetic voice.
"Yes, your majesty? Did you need more refreshments?"
"No! I need to not be bored! I'm going nuts over here! Are the villagers doing anything interesting?"
Escargon lifted his binoculars to his eyes for probably the sixth time that day.
"Well as I informed you ten minutes ago, the villagers are going about their day. Nothing spectacular. Just seizing this beautiful day to do what they do best, going out there and fulfilling their ambitions."
Escargon made his way into the throne room and paced in front of the king, who had gone back to staring listlessly at the screen.
"There's nothing stopping them. And true it looks boring, but they probably feel better for doing it. Maybe you could follow their example? I haven't seen you scheme since before the castle's reconstruction. You used to love doing that. Why not try it again for old times' sake? Maybe that shepherd could use a little shock when he notices some of his sheep missing? Why, it wouldn't take that much effort to-"
Moving faster than he had all day, King Dedede lunged forward in his throne and grabbed Escargon by the eyestalk, cutting off his speech.
"You sayin' I'm lazy?" the king questioned.
"N-No, I was just—"
"You tellin' me causing trouble don't take that much effort? Well what would be the point in that?! Those ingrates down there treat me like a laughingstock ever since we put Holy Nightmare Co out of business! No more demons to terrorize them, no more respect for me! And that dang Kirby is still hanging around, so I got nothing to show for all my efforts! So, don't go preaching to me about fulfilling myself or whatever you were going on about! If I can't make those people fear me, then there ain't nothing worth wastin' my time with!"
Dedede dropped Escargon and slumped back in his throne. The snail rubbed his eyestalk.
"I do believe that is the most exercise you've done this week," Escargon said.
"Oh, I'll show you exercise," Dedede said. He reached behind the throne for his hammer, but just groped open air. He growled.
"Escargon! Where is my hammer?"
"If I had to guess, sire, I'd say you left it in your room. Honestly, you are a wreck."
"Argh! No hammer, no demons, no respect! I might as well be the king of mushrooms!"
King Dedede slumped further into his chair, his feet dangling straight out, and his head almost hidden by his belly.
"Well, who's to say you need demons to get respect?" Escargon said. "You could make everyone fear you on your own."
"If Kirby can take down Nightmare on his own, what makes you think I can take him? As soon as I do anything, he'll send me packing!"
"Well, maybe we need to focus on getting rid of him."
"Uh, still no demons."
As Escargon was about to rebuttal, the TV crackled and filled with static. Dedede sat up and clicked the buttons on the remote to no avail. Then, he bonked Escargon's eyestalk with his fist.
"What did you do?" Dedede said.
"Me? I didn't do anything!"
In a moment, the static cleared. Dedede and Escargon stared at the screen in shock at the familiar face.
"Ah, your majesty. It's so good to see you again," said the warm, calculated voice of Customer Service.
"Y-YOU?!" they both shouted in unison.
"Surprised to see me?"
"Like hell we are!" Dedede said.
He spammed the buttons on the remote while he glared at the screen. Customer Service tried to conceal his grimace. It's hard to give a sales pitch when the potential customer is trying to slam the door in your face, figuratively speaking.
"I, uh, couldn't help but overhear that you are looking to get rid of Kirby," Customer Service said.
"Oh, you eavesdrop now?" Dedede said. "How are we even talking right now?! You and your whole company blew sky high!"
"That is true. The old facility has been destroyed beyond recovery. However, a company as grand and far reaching as Holy Nightmare Co could only benefit from having multiple locations, albeit smaller in scale."
"You had more than one place?" Escargon asked. "Well, that was a lot of effort for nothing."
"Indeed. Though having to downgrade means a change in company policy. All loyal customers of Holy Nightmare Co will have any and all debts forgiven, and their first purchase of any product under the new policy will have a ninety percent discount."
Dedede sat up in his throne and said, "Ninety percent?!"
"Now hold on, sire," Escargon said. "Don't forget these guys attacked us first. They brought the castle to rubble, and their demons weren't enough to get rid of Kirby. Unless they have something better, I wouldn't be pulled in by their discounts."
Customer Service clapped his hands together and said, "Oh, I'm so glad you mentioned that. We have been in development of weaponized machines capable of adapting to any combat situation; mechanized demons that have a rate of success two hundred percent more than the old demons. And, for your purposes, these mechanical demons do not have abilities that can be copied by Kirby."
King Dedede beamed.
"In development?" Escargon said. "Trying to sell us a stock or something?"
"Ah, we are currently in beta testing. You can buy these models at a reduced price along with your discount."
"Sold!" Dedede shouted as he pounded a fist on the throne's arm like a gavel.
"Wait, wait, wait," Escargon said. "At best we'd be helping to test an unfinished product. What if it blows up in our faces? And it doesn't seem all that promising in defeating Kirby."
"May I suggest a test run then?" Customer Service added. "You can order the demon to cause some mischief to the villagers instead of attacking Kirby if you desire. If you are not satisfied with the results, we can give you a full refund."
"Sounds good to me! Pull up the catalog!" Dedede said.
"But—"
"Escargon! We'd be idiots to pass up an opportunity like this! I can finally reclaim the respect I deserve as king! Those villagers won't know what hit'em!"
"Yes, of course, sire. But on that thought, the villagers don't know Holy Nightmare Co is still around, or that we have contact with them. We should be careful about this. If it looks like an attack from you, they would rally against you. Not to mention if those annoying brats get involved, it'll all fall apart."
Customer Service chimed in, "Perhaps the 'surprise inside' approach would be most beneficial to you? It is an indirect deployment with zero chance of the product being traced back to either you or the company, guaranteed. And I'm sure a simple order as king can prevent anyone in the castle from leaving and foiling your plans."
Escargon put a hand to his chin in thought. Dedede leaned towards him with a smug look, tapping at the chair arm.
"Anything else to add?" Dedede asked.
"Fine, you got me. I suppose it can't hurt."
"Splendid!" Customer Service said. "Download shall commence momentarily."
"Haha, you can't catch me!" Bun chanted.
"Oh yeah?" Fumu said.
Fumu lunged at Bun, hand outstretched, only for him to dodge and dart away. She paced behind him as he ran in circles, staying just out of reach.
"Come on, Bun!" Iroo shouted. "Run to the safe zone!"
"Oh no you don't!" Fumu said.
She suddenly broke out of chasing Bun and charged at Iroo, Honey, and Hohhe who had grouped together not far off. They scattered, giggling as they fled. Iroo and Hohhe made a wide arc down the grassy hill towards town, but Honey fell behind and Fumu easily caught up to her and tagged her back. Honey immediately stopped in her tracks and froze in place.
"Oh no! Guys, help!" Honey squeaked, arms suspended in the air.
Fumu took a moment to catch her breath, then said, "Yeah guys, why don't you come help her? Unless you're chicken?"
"We're not chicken!" Hohhe called back from his safe distance.
"Yeah! Death before dishonor!" Iroo added having joined Hohhe at his side.
Bun ran up to them and had them huddle up. Fumu could tell they were hatching a plan to come unfreeze Honey. She stood between Honey and them like a guard dog. The boys broke and ran in separate directions. Hohhe dashed up to Fumu in an attempt to tag Honey. Fumu swiped at him, but he just barely dodged her hand and ran up the hill. Suddenly, he tripped and fell.
"Got you now!" Fumu said as she closed the distance to tag him.
Suddenly, Bun darted in front of her taunting, "Ha, missed me!"
Fumu turned her attention to him as he went slower and kept himself just out of striking distance. Fumu swiped at him as he back stepped with each lunge. Meanwhile, Hohhe picked himself off the ground and ran to help distract Fumu as Iroo crept up to Honey and tagged her, unfreezing her.
"You came back," she said with starry eyes.
"Yeah. Let's run for it," Iroo said as he took her hand.
They both blushed, then they ran together down the hill towards town. Seeing as the plan worked, Bun and Hohhe raced down the hill towards town. Feeling the sting of being outsmarted, Fumu caught her second wind and sprinted full force after them.
It wasn't long before the five of them reached town. They bobbed and weaved past the adults and made their way to the tree in the center of town. Fumu was right at their heels and was reaching her hand out to Bun to tag him as he ran.
"I'm gonna beat you there!" Bun taunted.
"We'll see about that!" she said.
Just then, Fumu felt a rumble in her chest and stopped dead in her tracks. The other kids tagged the tree and were catching their breath. Bun looked back to taunt her again, but seeing her look around with concern he stopped running too.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Shh."
Fumu listened hard for any explosions, since she had assumed that's what she felt. Her brain didn't register the whistling wind at first, but when it did it sent a shock of adrenaline through her.
"Get down!"
She rushed at Bun, who's gaze was fixed to something in the sky above town. She threw herself at him, causing them both to hit the ground. In the next moment, the ground quaked with a deafening crack. Dirt and dust went flying in all directions and showered Fumu and Bun. When they could no longer hold their breath, they gasped, immediately choking on the settling dust. Fumu got up first.
"Are you ok?" she asked Bun.
"Yeah. What is that thing?"
Fumu turned to where Bun was looking. Light shimmered off a metallic surface. What looked like a giant egg stood partially embedded in the ground. The thing was bigger than Kirby's house. Villagers began gathering around, murmuring to each other. Fumu helped Bun off the ground and dusted him and herself off. Police Chief Borun got between the egg and the crowd.
"Everyone stand back. We don't know what this thing is yet," he announced.
"Probably one of Dedede's schemes," Bun said.
Fumu frowned. Dedede hadn't tried anything in months. If he spent all that time actually planning something, this could be bad.
"I'm closing off the area for investigation. Stand back," Chief Borun said.
He pulled out caution tape from one of his jacket pockets. Suddenly, steam hissed out from the egg. Chief Borun jumped and ran into the crowd. Fumu held an arm up in front of Bun, staring down the egg. The steam quieted to a sizzle. With a metallic groan, cracks appeared in a petal-like formation, wide in the middle and slim at the top where all the tips met. These petals came down and clanged against the ground. So much steam came from the center of the egg that it concealed what was inside. Creaks and clicks melded together in a symphony of moving parts. Two red lights pierced through the steam, and as they left the veil it became clear they were the eyes of a mechanized beast. As it stepped forward onto the ground, everyone gasped at the sight of a metal Velociraptor, its razor-sharp teeth glistening in the sunlight, its powerful tail swishing at the steam behind it, and its head cocking one eye at the crowd, sizing it up. The villagers screamed and scattered in all directions.
"Everyone get inside!" Fumu shouted.
The Velociraptor screeched into the sky, the sound like scraping metal and a static-ridden radio. Fumu grabbed Bun's wrist and made a run for the nearest building. The raptor jogged after them, its footsteps pounding the dirt. They ran through the doorway, a set of gaping jaws snapping just at their heels. They looked back panting and watched the raptor turn its head to peer into the building.
They heard Honey's voice screaming, "Help!"
The raptor turned towards the girl collapsed on the ground. It hissed then started walking over. Chief Borun ran over to Honey from another building.
"I got'cha," he said, picking her off the ground.
As soon as she regained her footing, she bolted. Borun turned to go but froze at the sight of the raptor walking towards him. Shaking, he whipped out his baton and pointed it at the raptor.
"S-stay back!"
"What is he doing?" Bun said.
Fumu dashed out of the building, Bun calling after her. She scooped a rock off the ground and chucked it at the raptor. The rock shattered against its head, and its red eyes fixed on her.
"Hey, come eat me! I'm less chewy!" Fumu said.
"Hey now," Borun said.
The raptor shrieked, which sent the chief scurrying away. It stomped towards her, jaws parted with a hiss rolling out from its throat. Another rock sailed through the air and broke against its hide.
"Over here you dumb lizard!" Bun said.
The raptor growled at him.
"No, Bun! Go back inside!" Fumu said.
He ignored her and shouted, "I bet you can't catch me!"
With a roar, the raptor charged at him.
"Bun!"
Just then, a flash of pink darted past Fumu after the raptor.
"Kirby!" she said.
Bun prepared himself to jump out of the way of the charging raptor. At the last second, Kirby leaped up and pulled the beast's head down, causing the raptor to veer off course and tumble into the ground right next to Bun. Kirby sprang off the ground and stood between Bun and the raptor.
"Alright, Kirby! Crush that tin can!" Bun said.
Running up to him, Fumu said, "Hurry, behind the tree."
They both sprinted to the huge tree in the center of town and hid behind it, watching from afar. After a moment of flailing, the raptor found its footing and got up. It faced Kirby and its red eyes flashed. Kirby widened his battle stance, glaring at the raptor.
"Ha, that thing's toast now," Bun said.
"I don't know, Bun. It doesn't have any abilities Kirby can copy," Fumu said.
"He's fought worse. He'll figure something out."
Fumu's hands tightened on the tree trunk.
The castle catacombs were steeped in darkness, but Meta Knight had memorized the path leading up to the throne room. He heard what sounded like a cannon going off, and after receiving his majesty's strange order for all personnel to remain in the castle until further notice, he knew something was amiss. He reached the stairs and climbed them quickly. Just as he was about to burst through the secret door into the throne room, he heard laughter. He paused to listen, hand on the door. He could make out the voices of Escargon and King Dedede, but not what they were saying. He eased the door open, the light of the throne room pouring into the dark passage. Their voices were coming from the balcony. Meta Knight passed through the opening and silently closed the door behind him. Noiseless as a shadow, he approached the archway to the balcony and hid behind it.
"Ha! Look at them all running! Where's your peace now, commoners?" he heard King Dedede say.
"This is exciting, sire," Escargon said. "We haven't done this in ages! I'm getting chills."
"If you're not going to use those binoculars, I'm taking them."
"Alright, I'm looking, sheesh."
There was a pause. Something must be happening in the town. Meta Knight would leave to investigate, but he was ordered not to. His majesty displayed an uncharacteristic level of foresight in this matter, but for what purpose?
"Oh, Kirby just showed up!" Escargon said.
"Perfect! Let's see how he handles a demon with no abilities to copy!"
A demon? Impossible. Nightmare was defeated, his company destroyed. There weren't any demons left. So how did Dedede acquire one? A chill ran through Meta Knight, his eyes flashing green. Something was very wrong.
The raptor reared its head and screeched, the sound making the windows in the buildings vibrate. It bounded forward, jaws gaping open. Kirby hopped back, avoiding the bite. The raptor kept snapping at him, but he stepped out of the way each time. Changing tactics, the raptor spun around and whipped its tail at him. Kirby jumped up over the tail and grabbed its neck. The raptor thrashed its head, shrieking. His grip failed and Kirby was sent flying through the air. During his descent, he saw the torn-up ground around the egg. Inhaling a whirlwind, he sucked up one of the boulders and upon landing on the ground spit it out at the raptor. Metal crunched when the boulder hit the raptor's head. One side of its jaw had come loose, causing it to hang lopsided and useless. It roared in fury at him, but just then Kirby noticed a red glow peeking out from under a peeling piece of metal on its skull. Kirby positioned himself between the charging raptor and the metal egg behind him. He leapt out of the way and the raptor collided headfirst with the egg. It stumbled back and faced Kirby again, the piece of metal peeled back even more. Kirby darted toward a building. The villagers within screamed and retreated further inside. Kirby quickly changed direction and the raptor careened into the front of the building, smashing through wood and glass. It backed out of the rubble and charged after Kirby again, who repeated the same action.
"What the heck is he doing?" Bun said.
"Maybe he's trying to get away." Fumu said. "Come, Warp Star!"
"Sis, he doesn't have the Warp Star anymore. He used it on Nightmare."
"Sorry, force of habit."
Kirby stopped in front of the tree, the raptor bounding towards him.
"Wait, Kirby!" Fumu said.
Fumu and Bun ran out of the way. Kirby jumped aside as the raptor plowed into the tree. Leaves shook free and fluttered down from the impact. Joints creaking, the raptor staggered back. The metal skull plate slid off and clambered to the ground. A glass dome was exposed, red plasma dancing on the inside. Without taking his eyes off the raptor, Kirby picked up a rock from the ground and waited. The raptor charged with a roar. Kirby jumped, grabbed its neck, swung up to its head, and bashed the rock against the glass dome. The glass shattered and the red plasma dissipated. The raptor slowed to a staggering crawl before collapsing on the ground, unmoving. Its red eyes dulled to black.
Kirby jumped up and cheered, "Piyo!"
"Way to go, Kirby!" Bun said.
Rapid beeping cut their celebration short. Kirby whirled around to see white light streaming out of the fallen raptor. The next moment, it exploded, sending a cloud of dust and smoke into the air.
"What? What happened?" King Dedede said.
"I think the demon exploded, sire," Escargon said.
"What?! Gimme that!"
Meta Knight heard Escargon choking.
"S-sire! The s-strap, on my t-throat!"
"Damnit!"
Escargon gasped for air, and Meta Knight could hear Dedede pacing back and forth on the balcony, his steps heavy with frustration.
"I don't believe this! How does Kirby keep winning? I'm the good guy here, not him! 'New and improved' my ass! I should've known not to trust that Customer Service! When he calls back, I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind."
Meta Knight's eyes flashed green again. Customer Service is alive? Had they not succeeded in bringing Nightmare down after all? It had been months since Kirby destroyed Holy Nightmare Co. Had they been rebuilding this whole time? This could not go unchecked. Meta Knight began to leave, but a gasp from Escargon stopped him.
"The villagers are gathering around Kirby! They don't look happy."
"What? Let me see!"
"Ack, watch it! Just use one side of the binoculars."
That sounded troubling too. Meta Knight held his position and listened.
Dark smoke hung low over the village square. Kirby coughed and feebly waved his stubby pink arms in an attempt to disperse the haze. Luckily, the soft breeze was making quick work of carrying the smoke away. In its place was the gathering of the villagers with equally dark faces. They crowded around Kirby and he looked at them with confusion.
"Again with another attack! And it's not even demons this time!" someone shouted.
"It was probably after Kirby! And look what it did to my storefront!"
"What's it going to be next? Aliens? Angry penguins? Aggressive weather? I can't take this anymore!"
Mayor Len stepped forward from the crowd and raised his hands.
"Everyone, please settle down," he said. "I understand that this is an unsettling development, but Kirby has protected us once again. We should be grateful to him."
"How many more times will he have to defend us, though?" Samo asked.
"The attacks will just keep coming as long as Kirby is here," Mabel said. "Disaster follows him wherever he goes."
"Dream Land never saw as much chaos as it has since the day Kirby arrived," Curio added. "Sure, he protected us, but it can't be a coincidence that all this happened after he began living here."
"It can't be Dedede's fault either," Gus said. "We destroyed Nightmare and his demons. Dedede has nothing to use on us anymore."
"Hmm. Do all of you believe Kirby's being here is causing all the attacks?" Mayor Len asked.
The crowd erupted in an affirmative cry. Kirby looked around hurt and confused. Fumu and Bun elbowed their way through the crowd and stood protectively in front of Kirby.
"What is the matter with all of you?" Fumu said. "It's not Kirby's fault that we get attacked so much!"
"Yeah! It was Dedede's fault most of those times, and it's probably him again!" Bun said.
"Even so, King Dedede only attacked us in an attempt to eliminate Kirby," Mayor Len said. "You can't deny that fact at least."
"What are you saying then? You think we would be better off without Kirby?" Fumu argued.
"Perhaps if he was not here, the trouble would go with him," Mayor Len said.
The crowd gave another affirmative shout.
"That's crazy! What if we get attacked and Kirby's not here to protect us?" Bun said.
"I suppose that is a risk the villagers are willing to take," Mayor Len said.
Yet another affirmative cry. Mayor Len took a step towards Kirby, but Fumu stood her ground.
"No! You can't do this!" she shouted.
"Step aside, Fumu. We've made up our minds."
The crowd called out to her. She glared at the ground and grit her teeth, trying to hold back tears. Then, she relented. She dropped her arms and stepped to the side. Bun looked at her in dismay.
Mayor Len went up to Kirby, cleared his throat, and began, "Kirby, on behalf of Pupu Village…"
He paused with a thoughtful look. Perhaps the first words that came to mind did not suit the person he was speaking to.
"I ask that you leave, and never come back."
Kirby looked at him with sad, pleading eyes.
"I'm sorry, Kirby. But please, do the right thing."
Kirby looked towards Fumu and Bun. Bun looked to his sister to say something, but she kept her head low and her fists balled. Kirby's eyes welled up in tears, but he didn't cry or protest. He simply turned and walked forlornly out of the village, the crowd stepping aside to make a path. The villagers watched him go in silence, even Fumu lifted her eyes to watch her friend for years grow smaller in the distance until he could no longer be seen. Then, Fumu ran towards the castle, her head bowed so no one could see her face. Bun followed at full speed, but for whatever reason he was losing ground on her. Either sorrow pushed her forward or dragged him behind.
"Well, that didn't look like it went well for him," Escargon said. "Kirby's walking so slowly, like he's sad."
"Ha! The villagers must have blamed him for the demon attack! How 'bout that for a stroke of luck!" King Dedede said.
"Still, he defeated the demon. I knew it was a bad idea to buy into that nonsense," Escargon said.
"Who cares! I'll chalk that up to a victory for me! If we keep this up, we'll have Kirby on the ropes. Time to give that Customer Service a call."
Meta Knight flinched at the sound of approaching footsteps. He went to retreat back into the shadows before he was noticed, until…
"Hang on, sire. You might not have to," Escargon said.
"Why? What is it?"
"Kirby went back to his house, but he didn't stay long. It looks like he just gathered his belongings and left again. Now he's heading towards Whispy Woods' Forest. I think he's leaving-leaving sire."
"What, really?! Why's he doing that? Finally figured he was beat?"
"If I had to guess, the villagers might have banished him for causing so much trouble."
"Escargon… do you know what this means?"
"What?"
"I finally beat Kirby!"
Roars of laughter came from the balcony and judging by the sound of shuffling feet the two were dancing in celebration. Meta Knight stood frozen in thought. Kirby had protected Dream Land for years, and the moment their hard-won peace was briefly shattered the villagers opted to get rid of him? Was their loyalty really that flimsy? And with the return of Holy Nightmare Co, they would need the young warrior more than ever. This could not stand. Meta Knight crossed the room and left through the secret door, not unlike an apparition fading into a darkened corridor.
Like what you see? Read the rest on my AO3!
archiveofourown works/40944132/chapters/102608376
Story will only be updated on the Archive of Our Own account.