Author's Note
This is a remake of a story I had previously written. It has been a while since I've last written it and I think that since I wrote the origin story, I might as well make the sequel. *nervous laugh8 Anyway, I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading! It gives me plenty of support!
Sahara's funeral came and gone. Roland had decided it would be best if he tried his very hardest to care for his son. Sure, he had promised her that they would be there, together, but, you can't stop what the future holds. You can't stop what's bound to happen.
His mother always told him that whatever hurts you, whatever stops you, whatever seems to keep you down, it makes you stronger. She told him that no matter what, he can't keep his hopes down. He can't let the future stop him.
But it was so heartbreaking. His mother is right though. Eugene always tells him that he thinks too much, that he never does anything because he overthinks the situation. Eugene is right too. And he can't just be miserable for the rest of his life. He needs to be there for his son. He needs to be a good father. A father he can depend on, just like his own father.
Sure, he missed Sahara, but, his son needs him. He doesn't want to make his feelings brush off on his son. He wants him to be a normal kid, growing up happy and well.
His parents always told him, if he ever needs help, that he just has to call them up. That they'll be there for him.
He looked at his son, sound asleep. He sighed. "Okay, Will. Let's go home, huh?"
Roland had built a crib for his son when Sahara was three months. Sahara went to the store shortly after he was done with Roland. She wanted to give William a gift he could keep for his life. She wanted it to be special. She forgot to bring it to the hospital, but she did pick one the was sure William would love.
It was a blue jay. She called him Bow. A friend to be with her son when she didn't have one. A friend for her son when he needed it. A friend that would be with him since he was born.
Roland pulled up into the driveway. "Here it is, Will. Your new home." He looked at the child seat in the back. "Why am I even talking to you? You're asleep." He sighed and unbuckled the chair. He grabbed William and closed the door.
A few weeks had passed since Sahara's death, making William a few weeks old, but it still felt like yesterday when Roland lost his wife. He never thought it would happen. He never thought that she would leave him at all.
But, here he is. A first time father without his wife. A first time father who has no idea what he's doing. A first time father who...still continues to overthink. No matter how hard he tries, he just can't stop his thinking.
He put William in his crib. Thankfully, the crib is light so he could move it easily. And, his kid is lighter than he expected too. Doesn't help he was prematurely born. That makes things worse for him and his son.
After a few minutes, William began to cry. "What is it, Will, huh?" Roland asked, picking his son up from his crib. Roland figured out that his son is hungry so he went to make him a bottle of milk. "Okay, I got it," Roland said to his son.
They didn't have a baby shower but Eugene, Roland's family and Sahara's mom and grandmother brought them a bunch of childcare supplies that they would need. Roland was grateful for it, of course, but he didn't expect them to take up so much room. They probably brought more than needed but he didn't complain.
He did research on how to raise a child and it was a lot of work. Sahara told him he didn't need to worry so much and that they'll handle it when it comes but Roland told her that he would be best prepared as possible to be a father. When he said that though, he never expected to be a single father.
Sure being a father is all he ever wanted, but he didn't want to do it on his own. He didn't want to take care of William alone.
But he isn't alone. He has family who are there for him and willing to help. Eugene offered to watch William if he needed it. Sahara wasn't there but she was in his mind and heart. He's not alone and he can't forget that.
Around William's bed time, he wouldn't fall asleep. He just kept crying and Roland already did all the other things he was supposed to do. He fed him, changed him, held him. he was running out of ideas and was tired. His mother wasn't kidding when she said that kids drain your energy.
"What else can I do for you, Will?" he asked. "What can I do?" Roland sat down on a chair. He took William out of the room to see if he needed a change in scenery. It wasn't what he needed but Roland can't think. He's tired and his son won't stop crying.
He held William in his arms and bounced him a little. It worked, but just for a few seconds. He began to cry again like there was no end.
That was when Roland remembered something Sahara told him. She created a song for William while she was one month. It was a short, sweet lullaby, or at least what Roland thought. He even played it for her on the piano once. Maybe that's what William needs.
My darling, my sunshine. Your smile makes the whole world shine. William stopped crying and stared at his father. Your gentle touch helps me to fly, and makes the stars pass by. Roland paused and looked at his son. William stared at him, seeming surprised by the song. "Your mother made that for you, Will," Roland said. "Do you like it?"
William gave a small giggle for a response. Roland sighed of relief. William finally stopped crying. Roland walked back into his room and placed William into his crib. It sits next to the bedframe of Roland's bed, that way he could easily get up to get William if he needed to.
He sat down on his bed and put his foot on the crib, gently rocking it back and forth. He sang the lullaby again so William would fall asleep. He did, after two more times of the song. Roland flopped onto his bed, still rocking the crib.
The first day home was hard so he wondered how hard the other days would be. He wondered what color his son's eyes will be when he gets older. As he was thinking, he managed to drift off to sleep, waking up every so often to help his son.