The Cullen's house was quiet for once.
Carlisle was reading on the couch after spending most of the morning doing paperwork. Esme sat on the ground between her husband's legs with her sewing kit on the table, she was sewing back a button from one of Edward's shirts despite the fact that this one had insisted he could do it.
Rosalie could be heard in the garage rummaging around. Emmett was with her and he could be heard talking about that bear he wrestled earlier.
Edward was at the piano writing a new song. The beginnings of it already sounding as stunning as all his songs did.
Jasper and Alice were at the couch, he had laid there earlier and Alice had at some point joined him, squeezing herself between him and the couch. She was small so both of them fit there rather well in a mess of limbs.
Alice's fingers had long ago sneaked under his shirt and had begun tracing his scars out of habit. Her soft lips pressed against his throat.
Jasper was half asleep but he could feel each touch. Could feel her kisses traveling up and up until she caught his lips in a playful kiss. He kissed her back and felt her smile into the kiss.
He brought his hand up to caress her face for a moment before kissing her nose, he was feeling more content than he had in a while. He liked the quiet atmosphere. The positive emotions. The peace. The fact that he could lower his guard with no repercussions.
It was nice.
That until he heard Emmett's footsteps approaching and soon there he was hovering over them with a wide grin and that streak of confidence in his emotions that let Jasper know exactly what he wanted before Emmett even said a word.
-No.- Was his response. He didn't felt like wrestling today, all he wanted was to spend the entire day cuddling with Alice.
-Aw come on, I will beat you this time.
-You said that last time, and before that and before that, and before that .- Jasper told as a statement of fact giving Emmett an unimpressed look. He could feel the amusement in the air.
-This time is true.
-Of course.- Jasper conceded half heartily, shooing him with his hand before pulling Alice closer to him.
-I will let you keep the next bear I come across.
As Emmett had expected that caught Jasper's interest immediately, Alice gave her brother a dirty look.
-Emmett, are you trying to buy my husband with food?
-Bought and successful.- Emmett corrected snickering when Jasper untangled himself from Alice's hold.
-I'm sorry.- That's all Jasper said and while Alice wanted to pull him back and keep him with her she didn't.
She knew most of the blood he had had this week was from deers, of course he would look forward to something more bearable.
So all she did was huff and watch him leave with Emmett. Well, she couldn't protest. She loved seeing him coexisting with the others.
She left the couch and went to sit with Edward at the piano.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Emmett loved wrestling and he was aware it was meant to be a game. His favorite game to be more precise.
But sometimes he would get rougher in hopes to take Jasper down by catching him off guard, so far there had been no success.
Jasper was fast and unyielding, lethal, even in their games and it did good at reminding Emmett who he was.
Which didn't help with his desire to beat him.
Winning against the God Of War sounded like one of the greatest feats one could ever take upon. And he had to his advantage the fact that he wouldn't die in the act.
That as long as he didn't put him in a headlock.
He put Jasper in a headlock once.
It had taken Carlisle, Edward and Rosalie to hold him back and even then he had near dragged them with him. Even Alice had almost gotten bitten as she tried to bring him back.
Jasper had spent an entire week sulking after that incident and it had taken another month before he agreed to wrestle with Emmett again.
That hadn't been a good month for anyone.
But he had learnt his lesson.
He had learnt what to not do when wrestling with Jasper, both through his reactions and body language in general.
No headlocks. Don't tackle from behind. Don't pin him for too long.
Aside from that Emmett could do whatever he wanted to him.
Like grabbing his wrists as Emmett slammed him against the ground. Jasper tried to headbut him but he crashed his forehead against his sending a thunderous clap across the forest.
For a moment he grinned triumphantly.
He forgot about Jasper's legs.
A knee to the stomach got him jumping and Jasper took that as his chance to wrap his legs around Emmett's waist and break free. Slamming his arm against Emmett's face and switching their positions in a blink. Straddling him against the ground and keeping a hold of his arms against his chest.
The entire thing happening so fast it took Emmett a moment to process his position.
-What did just happen?
-He won, again , that's what happened.- Rosalie stated matter of fact as she walked past them, amusement clear in her voice.
-Not yet.- Emmett began struggling using his legs to roll them on the ground but that didn't stop Jasper from keeping holding him.
And at some point their wrestling turned into a fight of uncoordinated kicks and blows as Emmett broke free. Rolling on the ground and trying to hold each other down like a couple of children fighting over the last cookie.
Jasper managed to come on top as he pinned Emmett against the ground, twisting his arms behind his back and holding him down. Emmett tried to break free without success.
The sudden sound of a gunshot echoed across the forest. Its volume dangerously close.
Jasper tensed up. Gunshots never brought good things.
And true to it the wind brought a glorious scent with it. Like a bottle of the fanciest perfume being smashed on the ground, flooding its surroundings with its magnificent sweetness and leashing him to it.
The breath caught in his throat at the overwhelming near maddening sweetness of it. Sweeter than anything he had ever smelt in his entire life. The flames of the sun itself setting his throat ablaze.
Hands grabbed him with all the intent of bringing him down but he didn't let it happen. He broke free and went for it. Ignoring all about the world for nothing but getting to that marvelous scent was important right now.
He could hear the heartbeat. The blood flowing. It screamed at him with a force never felt before.
As he caught sight of the man approaching a dead bear he didn't hesitate to lung for him. Slamming into him from behind and bringing him down. The surprise and shock pierced at his skin like an electric shock which was soon followed with the burning acid of pain and terror as he grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked his head back, the sound of bone cracking reaching his ears.
And then he sank his fangs into his neck, biting the loudest vein, a shout came out of the man but he ignored it, the sweet warm liquid felt like water extinguishing part of the never-ending fire in his throat.
Another gunshot was heard along with the feeling of an ache that explode on his back. The scent of human reached him and he whirled around. Snarling at the human who held a shotgun, fear hit him, merging with the cloud of darkness that was starting to settle over him.
-What the-
The man's grip faltered. Jasper released the now dead man and snarled at the other one, he loaded the shotgun and Jasper lunged at him. Another gunshot echoed across the forest, sending an explosion of heat on his stomach as he brought him down. The stench of gunpowder along with the ringing in his ears due such close shot made his throat close and his chest constrict.
And where the terrified man had been now a soldier was. The stench of blood became like rust and salt. He had no gun with him. No sword. Nothing . The soldier raised his hands towards him. Attack. Attack.
He punched him straight on the jaw and scrambled up. Taking the gun with him and making a run for it, that not before shooting the man. Not safe. Not safe. Not safe. He had to hide. Hide and regroup. Hide hide hide. He could feel the knot at the back of his throat threatening to choke him. Could hear the footsteps behind him. Danger dangerdangerdanger. He was alonealonealone hewasaloneinhostileterritory .
But he was no coward and when the footsteps grew closer he didn't hesitate to whirl around and take the shot. Straight on the chest. But the soldier didn't drop. And that shouldn't be possible.
His chest tightened even more, he was mildly aware that his breathing was irregular, but that was not important. He wasn't safe. Not safe Not safe and the soldier raised his hands . He backed off keeping the shotgun aimed at the soldier even though the first shot hadn't worked at all.
He would unload the entire shotgun if it was necessary.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Holding Jasper back from going after a human was as unsuccessful as ever. The gunshots had still been there. Twice .
His reaction to the scent had been too obsessive even for him and it didn't took long to figure it out.
Singer .
That one blood that sang to one specific vampire and could drive them absolutely mad.
In all his life Carlisle had only had to deal with Esme and Emmett, Esme had been able to be taken away from the human. Emmett? Not so much.
But to be fair no one could hold Emmett down when he lost control over blood.
Not even Rosalie.
Carlisle had come for Jasper, alone . For the single fact that Alice had a vision.
The gunshot and the gunpowder had set off one of the rare episodes where he had flashbacks from his human life. Civil war.
And while Carlisle as a doctor understood what was happening and even had seen a fair share of Jasper's PTSD episodes this was different.
He had shot that man.
He gave him chase even though he knew that would do nothing but agitate him more, but he needed to stop him, getting him to focus on something else. Because if he encountered another human something told Carlisle he wouldn't bite them but shoot them.
And that would make things so much more worse. An animal attack was one thing.
People found them due a gunshot could put them at a risk none of them had ever been put before.
A gunshot wouldn't be comfortable but it wouldn't penetrate his skin. It wouldn't harm him. Better him than a human.
And as Carlisle caught up with him Jasper whirled around and shot him without an ounce of hesitation. The bullet hit him straight on the chest before dropping to the ground.
That seemed to freeze Jasper for a moment. His gaze was a piercing red and wild. No recognition at all. Blood stained his mouth and dripped down his chin. His stance and the way he held the gun alone made him look quite intimidating.
Still.
His breathing was ragged and his gaze glazed.
It never occurred to Carlisle that Jasper's experience as a soldier would also be able to put him in this state. But he guessed, even if he was a soldier for three years, he had been in the middle of a war.
Alice said Jasper had the habit to hide whenever one of these came up. As long as he wasn't confronted he wouldn't get aggressive.
But this time he had managed to get his hands on a gun. Had been confronted.
He raised his hands in surrender and that seemed to confuse Jasper even more for he backed off. The gun still aimed at him.
-Jasper?- Carlisle called softly, he tried to focus on keeping himself calm, hoping that by doing so that would help calming Jasper down too.- Jasper, son, you are having a flashback, I know it may feel real but it's not.
No reaction.
-I'm Carlisle Cullen, you and Alice came to us in Calgary ten years ago.
That got him a frown in return.
-Look around you, does this looks like Texas to you? You can't hear any gunshots can you? No horses. No explosions.
He seemed to stagger at that. His gaze roaming around in suspicion.
-What do you see Jasper?- Carlisle asked, he needed him to say it out loud, saying it out loud would help him ground himself.
-Forest...- He mumbled looking around with a confused frown.
-What else?
-Yer dressin' funny.
Carlisle decided to not take it to heart. As someone from the 1600's he guessed he could understand to an extent the meaning of "funny clothes" to someone from the 1800's. Sometimes it still made him uneasy how drastic the clothing had changed compared to before.
Still. Focus .
-Exactly, that's because this is the 1900's, there's no war here, you're safe, Alice is waiting for you.
The name seemed to do the trick because recognition flashed in his gaze.
-Alice...
-Yes, Alice, your wife.- Carlisle told softly, approaching Jasper with cautious steps, making sure not to make any sudden movements or anything that could accidentally startle him.
Jasper tensed when he had him right infront of him but he didn't fight Carlisle from taking the shotgun.
And then he dropped on his knees with a choked sound and his head bowed.
-'m sorry, 'm so sorry.- There was absolute misery in his voice, it made Carlisle's chest hurt.
-Don't be. None of this was your fault.
-But it was!- Jasper snapped suddenly, anger clear in his voice.
Carlisle had never heard him raise his voice like that before.
-Jasper-
-I'm never gonna get better! I'm never gonna stop killin' humans! Even if I'm left feelin' all these emotions of their terror and pain I can't stop it! I can never make it stop! Not the pain, not the heat and certainly not the thirst!
Jasper was known to hunt more than average. Unlike them who could go as far as a week without hunting Jasper hunted every single day. While odd Carlisle never gave it actual thought.
Now he wished he had paid more attention to it.
Carlisle knelt before him.
-Why didn't you tell me sooner?
-There's nothin' to be done about it.
-Of course there is.
-What is it then?- Jasper asked looking at Carlisle and waiting for an answer both of them knew didn't exist.
-We can think of something. We-
-Forget it. Like I said, there's nothin' to be done about it, it's not as if I'm like you.- Jasper realized his mistake too late.
-What is that suppose to mean?
Jasper shuddered and then the vampire staring back at Carlisle was no longer Jasper. The bright red had become such an intense dark red it could almost resemble the exact shade of blood. His expression neutral but his gaze forever dangerous.
-Nothin'.- Dark Jasper stated with his tone cold and eerie, Carlisle didn't think he would ever get used to that tone of voice, he watched him stand up swiftly, wiping the blood off his mouth with the back of his hand.
Unlike anything Carlisle could have ever expected of him he licked the blood, all the previous distress was gone and there was something about his stance that was almost hostile as he looked at him, almost challenging as he kept licking the blood.
Not for the first time Carlisle wondered if there was more to this sort of dissociative state Jasper got in at such random intervals.