Alice came back looking rather distressed, but not once did she attempt to disappear into the forest.
Explaining to Esme why the floor was destroyed wasn't easy, for Carlisle feared her reaction over how poorly her son had been treated over what now he knew to have been a potential Jasper in a dissociated state.
Had he realized it sooner that fight could have been avoided.
Alice had been silent ever since coming back, and she had done nothing but sit on the porch, staring into the woods with a sad expression.
-Alice?- Carlisle called as he came to stand behind her.
-I knew what was going to happen.- She confessed.- And even though I hated it, I knew I couldn't interfere. Not this time. You should go look for him. Only you.- Alice said, turning to look up at Carlisle. She looked so heartbroken.- If you really love him, if you really want him here despite what he has done, right now is the time for you to let him know it. For him to really see that you aren't hiding anything. That every single word you have said to him so far is actually true and not some kind of ruse to get him to lower his guard so you can hurt him.
Alice hated this.
She could count on one hand the amount of visions that had ever managed to rattle her.
But seeing this had, without a doubt, shattered her heart. Seeing him so out of it... She knew it hadn't been her Jasper but The Major... But it had been too much.
But she couldn't interfere.
This needed to happen in order for The Major to be able to see Carlisle meant no harm.
This was important.
She had to let it happen, so she had gone out with Esme and Rosalie in an attempt to distract herself, for if she didn't, she would end up barging in and pulling Jasper away from what she knew to be an extremely overwhelming situation for him.
Carlisle, for his part, couldn't help but feel like Alice's words held an important meaning behind them, like she was trusting him to know what to do.
What should he do?
Of course he wanted Jasper here.
Even after the unprovoked attack, he couldn't help but want him.
When he agreed to keep Jasper, he had also agreed to this.
He agreed to the good stuff the same as he agreed to the bad stuff.
And so, following Alice's request, he left to find Jasper.
-He's by the river.- Were Alice's last words to him.
~~~~~~~~~~
Carlisle's walk to the river was confident; however, the moment he got there, he couldn't help but grow tense when he felt the hostility in the air, pure and almost too painful to bear.
Still.
He refused to be intimidated.
He looked around, failing to see Jasper, thus he followed the source of that familiar floral scent, the scent could be awfully deceiving truth be told.
It was coming from a tree, and as he crossed the river, he noticed the hole at the bottom of the trunk, between the roots.
-Jasper?
He received a warning growl in reply, the hostility in the air growing near suffocating. Carlisle could swear he could feel it prickling against his skin.
He sighed before sitting down.
-We need to talk, and I'm not leaving until we do so.- Carlisle stated, as though there was no other option but to do as he said.
Silence was his answer.
~~~~~~~~
The Major hated this.
Because it wasn't fair.
None of this was fair at all.
How come was the coven leader bleeding with concern and guilt? After what he did? After the stunt he pulled, how could this man be so kind and have it in him to be worried over him? He should be shouting at him. Hitting him. Dragging him out so the sun can eat his skin. Anything to make a point.
But he didn't.
And, for the first time since The Major had memory, he felt a flicker of uneasiness.
Uneasiness due this man's forgiving, caring nature.
Uneasiness due his kindness and calm.
But most of all.
There was uneasiness over what this could mean. What was he suppose to do in this situation? Maria would have been making him pick up his limbs with his mouth by now.
But the leader wasn't. Why?
It unnerved him and he refused to admit that that uneasiness in his chest was coming close to become fear.
Fear of this man's attitude.
Where was the angel? He knew she must have seen this and it wasn't as if she was on the other side of the planet. She was back. Why wasn't she here? Had she betrayed them? No. She would never.
But she was naive when it came to the Cullens.
Too naive.
She didn't believe in brutal coven leaders.
-Jasper, I know that you worry; I know that things are difficult for you here, but you don't have to be afraid, what happened today... I'm sorry I couldn't handle it better, I shouldn't have grabbed you either.
The leader's voice was as calm as his emotions, and The Major couldn't help but growl again. He wanted him gone. This kindness was unnerving. Unsettling. Wrong. Fake .
-Can you come out? I would like to have a civilized talk with you.
The Major felt himself seethe in anger. Talk? What kind of bad joke was that? He felt like he would go mad if he kept up listening to this man. Feeling his bizarre understanding emotions.
-Ah don' wanna talk with ya.- He snapped coldly. Surprise flickered in the air.
Still.
-Fine then, listen to me then, alright?
The Major scoffed.
~~~~~~~~
Carlisle sighed internally as he heard the scoff.
One thing he had come to learn was that dealing with Jasper and Alice could sometimes be a bit too hard.
And he wondered if that had to do with the fact that these two were not raised by him. They weren't his, they came already completely transformed and with their own backgrounds.
In a logical aspect, they had no reason to yield to him, especially if they didn't feel safe, which was the case with Jasper.
-Jasper.- He called softly.- I know this... coven may be completely different from what you are used to, but if there is something I am sure of, it is that I would never be unfair to any of you. I'm sorry I couldn't handle the situation better; I should have known something was wrong.
Silence was all Carlisle got in return.
-Jasper, I may not know the full extent of what you've been through, but I do know one thing, and I need you to truly understand this: I'm not gonna hurt you. I will never hurt you, nor will anyone in this family, no matter what you do. That's not how things work here. Do you understand? And if anyone ever tries to attack you, physically or verbally, you come to me, and I will deal with it.
Carlisle needed him to understand that he was safe here. He needed him to trust in Carlisle's judgement. There was no need for him to think he wasn't safe here.
Still.
He was met with more silence.
-Look, what you did was wrong, but it wasn't your fault. You thought Edward was a threat and that we were siding with him into attacking you. You reacted according to what you believed to be a dangerous situation. It was a natural reaction.
The Major couldn't help but find this entire situation uncomfortable and wrong. It put him on edge, no matter how much Carlisle assured him and apologized. And understood.
To not be punished after all he did... It was wrong , and he hated it. With Maria... She would have tied him down and set the newborns on him, allowing them to bite and break him to their hearts' content.
And here all he got was an apology?
It made him want to run, to bite him in one last attempt at getting a reaction from him. Anything .
But the leader sounded so remorseful. So honest.
It terrified him.
It made panic flare in him and he wanted nothing more but to rip him to shreds. This man was dangerous. Kind. Nice. Danger. Threat. Fake. Wrong .
But his emotions were pure. Calm. Sad. Patient. Understanding. Compassion. Kindness. What the hell?
This was so frustrating; he couldn't help but grab his hair and bite his lip. This man was so infuriatingly weird. Unpredictable. Wrong. Odd. Weird. Weirdweirdfuckingdamnedweirdman.
He couldn't deal with him. Couldn't deal with this unsettling air. It put him on edge and it made his instincts reel.
Thus he retreated.
Giving the control back to Jasper.
Jasper who couldn't help but flinch when he realized Carlisle was right infront of him.
-I'm sorry sir.- Was the first thing he blurted out. Confusion stained the air.
-I already told you, I'm not mad, what happened wasn't your fault, you have nothing to apologize for.- Carlisle told recognizing the change in voice. He wondered... No. That couldn't be possible. He was over thinking it now.
-That doesn't excuse me hurtin' y'all.- Jasper mumbled hugging his legs against his chest.
-It does Jasper, you were not at fault.- Carlisle said again, he would repeat it over a thousand times if that meant Jasper would finally understand it.
-I keep up hurtin' others.
-No one holds it against you.- Carlisle told as a statement of fact.
-You should.
Carlisle sighed, God could this boy be stubborn when he wanted.
-Jasper, you fought in wars under the command of a deranged woman for years, you endured things no one should have to endure, and were forced to live in an equally overwhelming environment. We understand this and we are here for you. That's what families are for.
-I've done horrible things. You shouldn't victimize me, if you knew what I've done... I'm not a victim.
"I'm the monster."
-You are my son now, Jasper, and as your father, it's my job to love you unconditionally. No matter what you do, or what you did, it's my job to be there for you. The past is in the past, and what matters now is that you are doing your best to try and be a better person, even though you were dragged into that life against your will. You didn't know there was a better way, and because of that, it wouldn't be fair for anyone to hold it against you.
Carlisle's understanding and kind nature was too much to handle; Jasper felt like a tsunami was crushing him down. It was so warm.
It would never cease to amaze him how warm this man's emotions could get. How understanding and kind...
It sometimes terrified him. For someone so nice to exist... even now he still had troubles to believe something so nice could be given to him. That such kind coven leader was even real.
That Alice had been right since day one.
-Let's go home.- Carlisle called as he got up. He didn't want him to keep up sitting here and wallowing in self-hatred and guilt.
For a moment he had no answer.
And then he watched Jasper crawl out of the hole, he offered him his hand and after some hesitancy Jasper took it.
He wished he could hug him.
But Carlisle knew better than that. Jasper may had grown comfortable with physical contact, to an extent, but he still refused hugs, he would step back or jump a few metres away from the person aiming to hug him.
~~~~~~~~~~
For Jasper, going back to the house was nerve wracking for a lot of reasons.
But most of it went down the drain the second Alice jumped him. Arms and legs around him like a vice and her emotions bleeding with such overwhelming relief, it made him ponder if she had seen it.
The path where he left her.
He wondered if she knew that would have been for the best.
Still.
He doubted that would ever happen, for he was too selfish to let her go.
-Don't you ever think about that again.- She whispered against his neck so lowly that only he could hear it. Her fingers curled around his shirt as a flicker of fear stained her emotions.
Yup.
She definitely knew.
He was quick to take her fear, giving her calm instead. He held her close and kissed her neck.
-Never.- He muttered against her skin. She didn't let go of him for a while, and he was glad the others had left them alone.
Alice held onto him with such a firm grip that he began wondering how much she had seen of his altercation with Carlisle. What kind of paths she saw.
She pulled back enough to meet his gaze.
-You know I love you, right?
He wasn't quite sure where that came from, but he was quick to nod. Of course he knew. Her love still, to this day, felt like a tsunami that crushed him into an oblivion of warmth.
-Good.- Alice kissed his jaw before meeting his eyes once again; this time her gaze was sharper.- Because I want you to remember that the next time you think about leaving me for my own good.
Jasper couldn't help but smirk at her tone before giving her a peck.
This little woman would never begin to understand the amount of love he wielded for her.
He couldn't leave her. Even if he wanted to, leaving her would do nothing but shatter him to pieces.