Standing just behind Cassian and Azreil before walking into the throne room they both tapped their siphons and their full scaled black armor crawled over their bodies. I had already magiced into my finest black. I wondered, more to distract myself, if Feyre would be surprised to see them in full armor with all seven siphons…the most ever used before either of them was 3… no living Illyrian has more than two, save for them, and Their stones on their hands and chests are far larger than what anyone would have thought could ever be used . The chest stones in fact were mined and honed for them specifically as they reached maturity... when even 6 large stones proved not to be enough. I wondered if Ferye would fear the armored General and spymaster … or would she still see just my brothers, her friends. Cassian clapped his arm over my shoulder and brought his lips close to my ear.
"One hour… less if Az is fast. She won't see enough to frighten her. " he whispered and nodded at Az who rested his hand on my other shoulder before they both assumed their masks walking forward into the open door. I followed them . my damper loosened more than usual even for hewn city. The ilk of my court before me. I felt my stomach fall to my toes knowing the plan. Now that I'm here everything is screaming how much I don't want Ferye here, she's just starting not to see the monster and now I'm scared beyond death she will fall back to where she was weeks, or months ago. I dared one fleeting glance to her wondering what she saw, what moment would be too much, when I would crush any glimmer of hope I may have at not being a monster. Her stare was wide and unreadable as everyone including my inner circle nelt. I felt that familiar pang at seeing Mor , a queen of light on her knees , Cass and Az who this court would rather see in the dirt bowed with them, but Ferye, my mate kneeling, shook something in my heart, it felt wrong. Mate and equal in every way… it made me cringe. As stopped before her and beckoned her rise before the court.
" Welcome to my home Ferye Cursebreaker. " I said as the court still bowed. "Come with me." My heart gutted out in my chest, Play with me Ferye I sent down the bond, but I couldn't tell if it was received . I took my throne and placed her on my Lap. Now the game starts. The worst display of my wickedness I would ever do… making my mate play the role that gave me nightmares. whore. Today Ferye would play my whore… The cost felt too great , not just my city but to make my love to play this part. I needed to focus. I ran my hands over her Thigh starting the game… I felt her flinch but the prickled skin at my fingers answered me before I could panic. My hands were cold… they always were after flying. I warmed them with my power, making them almost uncomfortably warm for me just to make it more comfortable for her. I gave her an apologetic stroke with my thumb.
" Try not to let it go to your head. That every Male in here is contemplating what they would be willing to give up in order to get that pretty red mouth of yours on them." I said to her, This is where the game truly started … bating my court into making them think they could have her when I was bored. She turned and flashed a smile to my nightmare court… it was a forced smile, nothing genuine, but it still gutted me that she could fake a smile for them when she would never smile for me ,faked or not. She relaxed into me.
"Rise" I declared to my court as I drew a knuckle on her thigh. Her skin was warm, soft, sensuous making my mind hazy with lust. I felt the ebony night of bond shimmering and whispering to every male part of me to claim her.
"Go play." I told my court. "Keir'' …. "Reports "… I needed to play my part, not get lost in my desire for Ferye. I was halfway between my mask of high lord and lust for Ferye, barely keeping both leashes tethered to any reality. I only hoped I managed to nod appropriately to Keir to maintain the distraction. I was dizzy in my strokes… my entire mind was frenzied and drunk off the feel of her skin. Fuming at Keir ramblings and musings at our show. I knew we made the right call , picked the right distraction… I knew this was a game… but everything from my mind, heart, body, bond ached for her.
"Get her some Wine." I commanded Keir. Solely for his insulting tone of her… I couldn't expose my rage , but I could remove him from my site long enough to keep it leashed.
I felt her soft night curl next to my shield.
"What" I growled to hide my lust addled mind into the antechamber I opened for her.
" You are good, Rhys, you are kind. This mask does not scare me. I see you beneath it." She said as I felt the bond swirling in a symphony just beyond my shield. Her voice curled along the other . I gripped her tighter in my hands. I had to remind myself she was real. I kissed her cheek before I realized what I done… she opened to me I felt her plea before she said it .
I growled in approval and slid my fingers closer to her breast asking begging for more… I didn't realize I had forgotten this was a slight of hand, a game … till echos of thoughts slipped the lock she had on the bond…
"Whore, traitor, liar" whispered into the bond. She was trying to shut out the part of her that accidentally shouted down the bond, but I still heard the echoes of what she tried to block…. I felt her heat up and knew she was losing the grip on her emotions. She was hating herself like when she burned through the pads in Cassian's hands. We were about to lose the game….
" if you become a living candle poor keir will throw a hissy fit and you will ruin the party for everyone ." I felt the simmering heat roll off her. She relaxed into me the strain of this game evident. I shifted hoping she wouldn't feel how hard I was, giving away that it wasn't just a game for me… that I wanted her… not as my whore but as my whole world… I clamped down on my mask at night.
"More more more…" I felt down the bond, as I skimmed down the underside of her breast. Then she looked to keir. We had forgotten about the wine. Keir's expression was burning… he was disgusted. But his cool mask of disbelief at what I made him do. My thoughts was she must be misreading his expression …. She must think he's on to us… I knew him well, and spoke to her mind to quell her fears.
" I think he's so disgusted that he might have given us the orb just to get out of here." I said to calm her into her mind.
" you and I put on a good show." She crooned into my mind, her voice thick with desire that didn't belong to the Ferye I knew … then she ground against my length and I lost my senses again. I felt her lick my neck and forgot we were playing a game, I was so turned on by this woman my hand glided over her skin, claiming her. Her wetness glazed my fingers and the bond sang in my mind but then I felt her subtly recoiling . The game… it's a game, finally filled my head and I snapped down my powers around my lust so much it hurt.
" It's fine, it means nothing." I hoped to calm her. But the hurt I felt at that …nothing… I told her I was nothing.
" because you're so irresistible?" She tried to cover but it had the same echo of the words "whore traitor, Liar" I couldn't keep her in this game any longer , I sent a tendril of my night to find Az , warn him the gig is up… but it whipped back to me as mecerfully Az appeared , thank the mother.
……………………………………………………………………………………………
I dropped Ferye off at the townhouse and flew to the house of wind. Az, Mor, and Cassian were in the living room. Cassian had a high ball of whisky outstretched to me but I didn't take it. I walked to my bedroom and locked the door. I stared at my ceiling for a few hours, or days… years maybe I wasn't sure. Trying to sort through everything Ferye had said in that Glenn.
Eventually one of the twins came in , I'm sure at Az request and set down a tray of tea and dinner. I took the tea and went to sleep. I spent the next few days hiding in the library. While everyone prepared for starfall. Starfall was special in a way nothing else was. It was unique to my court … but it was my mothers favorite and because of her love it was mine too. I always feel her love even with her gone on starfall. I let my mind wander…back to when starfall became my favorite celebration.
"Rhys, Cassian, Azriel… get in this house this instant! My mother screamed from the back door of our house outside the training camp.
" You three better get cleaned up for this evening now. " she said as we continued our sparing in the yard.
" Mother, it's barely past lunch, it's hours before nightfall." I shouted over the clicks of our wooden blades.
"Rhysand if your father heard that tone he would backhand you into next week. " she said.
" and she will send you into next month , Rhysand! " Cassian brown nosed running to the doorway. Azriel on his heels. She kissed both their heads as they entered the house. They both Looked at me with shit eating grins from my mothers side.
"And that's why they are my favorite sons." She mocked as I trudged inside her ruffling my hair and kissing my cheek before snapping a dish towel at my back as I headed up the stairs.
" Hurry up boys. I laid out suits for each of you. Rhys, your father will be here in 20 minutes to take us to Velaris. " she shouted up the stairs.
My father dropped us off in the market of shops with a few extra coins in my pocket. The three us running from stall to stall gorging ourselves on candies and goodies venders had specially made for starfall. High on sugar, fingers sticky and our suits thoroughly rumpled we flew up to the house of wind and we laid down on the roof just the three of us away from the party with all the stuffy adults.
As we watched spirits cross the sky in wonder my mother flew up and joined us.
"Az, how are you enjoying Starfall this year. " she asked with some hesitation in her voice… Az had told us little about his past but we were smart and could guess he missed out on alot of normal things.
"It's magical." Was all he said never taking his eyes off the sky. But we all were awed when he continued.
" not just the spirits, but to have people to share it with." He said.
My mother hugged him tightly and for once he didn't protest, she looked at me and Cassian and we both lunged into her arms. We sat there huddled together in my mothers arms all night listening to her talk of the spirits, of magic , of wonders. That's the night we became brothers… it had been building for a while but that night we all changed. After that night a lot changed. We weren't just boys anymore… by the next starfall we were young men. I wish I could recapture some of that innocents we felt that night. I knew in my heart I wanted more than anything to enjoy my first starfall in 50 years with my family but I just didn't know if I could. My head, heart, and soul were in shambles.
I heard the sound of boots making their way to me, so I knew it wasn't a priestess so I knew it had to be Cassian.
" If you think for one second your spending starfall in this library I'm going to kick your ass from one end of the sidra to the other and back again. " he said leaning into the doorway.
"I wasn't planning on staying here, but now that you mention it, I'd like to see you try to kick my ass so I may." I said leaning back in my chair with both hands behind my head. Cassian barked out a laugh and sat in the chair next to me.
"Are you going to explain why you have been sulking since we got back from hewn city… I know it's not about Keirs arms." He said gazing at me weighing my response.
" Sometimes I feel like I'm still there… under the mountain… like how we both sometimes don't really leave the battlefield. " I said enough truth that I knew he would drop it.
" Thanks to your sulking I got stuck starfall shopping with Mor… she must have tried on 50 dresses that all looked identical not only to each other , but every other mother blessed dress she already owns." He huffed.
" So you're going to pretend that you didn't go with Mor knowing that every beautiful girl in town would also be at those shops also trying on dresses ." I sent him a feline smile.
"He already gave me the full line up this year, in a formal tactical debriefing. " Az said from the shadows of the doorway. Cassian arched his head back to stick his tongue at him over the back of the chair. We all howled with laughter and we together headed upstairs to the house to get ready for the evening.
Upstairs in my bedroom I was laying back on my bed silently cursing myself for feeling anything but happiness as it was my first starfall in 50 years. A powerful knock at my door. Knowing I didn't hear footsteps before that knock told me it had to be Az at my door.
"Come in Az." I said sitting up.
"Cassian flew down to the townhouse to get Ferye. They will be here in a few minutes." He said and sat down beside me on the bed. Closer than he normally would be comfortable with.
" Mor sent you to check on me, didn't she?" I suspected.
" no, if she had I would have sent a shadow and been done with it. " he said.
" I'm fine Az." I said getting up off the bed under the guise of checking my look in the mirror.
"it's Ferye's first starfall." He said. "This night will be special for us all…but just imagine how special it will be for her… there's nothing like it in any other court, or human lands." He finished.
" I know. " I said not trusting myself to continue.
"You should tell her, Rhys." He said. " tell her everything. Uses the magic of starfall. To sweep her off her feet. Give her a night she will never forget. You deserve to finally be happy." His voice is soft and plain.
I looked at him and tried to look confused. But his face was open, no shadows on his face, I suspect they were tucked in his wings.
"Busybody." I retorted.
" Rhys... I don't need my shadows to see how much she has changed you. You were an empty shell when you came back…you tried to hide it but we all knew… the moment you brought her here it changed … she brought you back to live, as much as you brought her to life. I know you overthink everything but stop thinking for once and just listen to your heart.Tell her you love her…" he said standing and making for the door. I couldn't help thinking he should do the same thing.
"She's been hurt…so have you… you know she still not whole from all she's been through … but how can she be if you won't give her the part of herself that's missing…what if the hole she can't seem to quite fill with training, or banter is matting bond." He said and vanished into the shadows
………………………………………………………………………………………
I made my way though the party mostly shaking hands and offering greetings and well wishes. I found Cassian and Azriel talking to the owner of a weapons shop they both loved. I greeted the trio. Cassian pulled on my shoulder to whisper in my ear.
"You might faint when you see her." His shoulders rumbling with a silent laugh. I just rolled my eyes. " I'm going to enjoy beating the snot out of you after you bed her." He said and I laughed.
Both my brothers had guessed about the bond… Cassian's response didn't surprise me at all, Az's did. It's not that he wasn't caring, in fact I wondered often if he cared to much behind his shadows, but he just rarely chose to speak deeply, choosing to lock away anything he feels unless necessary. Cassian slapped my back and pointed to Mor's back. I could see the faint outline of Ferye blue dress behind her. I took a deep calming breath and walked over to them. I caught the General nature of their conversation, Ferye was endlessly curious about everything and everyone and had a need to know every story around her. I finally moved to where I could see her and my mind froze. I knew the dress would be magical but I didn't have words to describe her, she was radiant, but more than that, she was healthy again, as she should have always been… she was beautiful beyond compare .
"Oh it drives him insane." I said injecting myself into their conversation. They both started. Ferye crossed her arms at me, her eyes though there was a lightness to them, it wasn't quite her playful gaze but it was open and soft.
" You look like a woman again." I remarked… and realized what Azreil was telling me. He saw her assembling the broken pieces and returning to being whole again, I wondered if he connected to her in that way… that he recognized the same thing in himself. I remembered the boy who couldn't fly, the boy who couldn't stand to look anyone in the eye , the boy who violently flinched at every touch… he had made himself of the broken Pieces… he still had at least one missing piece himself, or maybe he had it , just not found the right spot for it yet. I owed him a great deal, and a great deal more after his candor tonight.
" do you plan to ignore me some more?" She said coldly. But her coldness didn't match the spark in her eye… play with her… they told me.
"I'm here now arnt I? I wouldn't want you to call me a hateful coward again." I baited her. Her throat bobbed with unspoke words and her eyes darted for an escape…
" I wasn't punishing you… I just needed time." I rasped … desperately trying to save any scrap of us.
" will you please tell me what this… gathering is all about?" An olive branch between us. I saw the reflection of the first spirits in the glass behind her.
"Look up." She did, I looked to her. " tonight is about that." I pointed to the first glow streaking across the sky. I watched her at frist , as she took in the magic of it all. As I took in the magic of her… after a few minutes I joined her in watching the glowering spirits Dance in the sky… it had been so long since I'd seen it I got lost in it too. Music and dancing filled the space around us. I watched wondering what she thought of it all. The wonder clearly written on her face but I could see her watching Cass, Az, and Mor dancing together in a way they always have. Cassian while fluid in battle was always a little clunky on the dance floor. Az normally content to remain on the outskirts was a polite distance away from mor, who had clearly worn down his everlasting patience to get him that far was dancing between the two of them. It was as unique a dance as the three of them. A sad longing crept into my face . I knew Azs feelings for mor even if in 500 years he'd never once said them out loud. 500 years he's been sidelined. His words to night were saving me from whatever it he's been feeling since the day he met mor.
Ferye looked at me as if a similar thought ran though her mind about them. It was time I told her. But not here… it was to loud to comfortably talk.
" come , there is a better view. Quieter." I added. My hands were still in my pocket to keep them from trembling but she wrapped her hands around my elbow …We looked courtly walking through the crowd… but it felt oddly intimate… whether she realized it or not it was one of the first time she indicated any sort of physical contact between us. I lead her to my favorite balcony, the one whose railing my mother would jump off to fly at night . This balcony had been her sanctuary I remember many times spent here with her as a boy her quietly sewing , while I studied. Ferye walked to the edge of balcony and sat up on the wide rail . I was taken aback . My sisters always at up on the rail like that. But she jumped down quickly after noting the height. I chuckled. And we muddled our way through apologies, both of us taking all the blame for ourselves over our fight, our words seemed easier tonight than they had been even the troubled truths of what had been done to me under the mountain. Az said to let the magic of starfall open my heart, as we talked I felt the walls around my heart open to her… let myself feel fully what I had kept leashed. I didn't notice we had fallen silent. I was focused on the barest touch of her fingers on mine when a blinding glow hit her face. She wasn't hurt so I laughed , unguarded … I was shocked. I've never even heard of one splattering into anyone. She reached to wipe the dust away but I stopped her. I grabbed her hand gently… " don't it looks like your freckles are glowing." I said to her…my heart fully opened admiring her. She pushed me and I had to sidestep to keep my balance just as another star splattered into my face. My hands were full of dust when she stepped forward and took my hand in hers… and with one finger she rubbed my palm…. No… not rub… tracing, painting. She was painting on my skin with stardust. Her finger contouring the dust till she was happy with the outcome. Just that finger on my palm felt like jubilation to my soul better than the softest wind though my wings. I closed my other hand t around her. Smiling at her, my entire soul exploded when she glanced up and smiled at me. It was there then it was gone.
" Smile again." I barely whisper. My voice lost to the wonders of that smile. Then she beamed at me… not just a smile, but a smile that was effervescent, whole, unguarded, genuine. All the longing in my heart fell at her feet when asked me to tell her two thoughts … the ones I had owed her from her first day here. She lingered in her gaze upon me, her skin slightly glowing all around as if some inner light had flicked on… and where that softest glow came from I didn't know. I didn't even know if it was real or just my imagination… I didn't care . When she asked me to dance. She wanted to dance with me, but also with our friends, my family. Together . All of us… on starfall . We danced.
We danced together, she danced with both my brothers, she danced with mor. It was the happiest I had ever felt in my life. I wanted to tell her about the bond. There were flashes of time that it would have been so easy to do. Lingering doubt still kept my lips locked. I needed this night. I needed it to heal the scars from under the Mountain. I knew Ferye was still healing. She was almost there. I could feel that the right moment was coming but it wasn't tonight . Though if I was honest with myself I think like Az said I was overthinking it. Still fearing what a life shacked to me ment for her as I laid in bed. I sent a whisper of my power to see if maybe she was awake …. But held it back just before it went through her door.
…………………………………………………………………………………
We had trained all day yesterday and I had answered all her questions. It felt like everything from our fight was normal. I told her of the rite. I told her of Tamlin and my history. Her anger had burned through the forest. At first I thought it had been at what I had done… but she forgave me fully for my brutality . Just as she always had no shimmer of fear at my powers. We shared simple a dinner together. Cassian had cooked. Mor, could not cook if her life depended on it, sadly I wasn't a lot better.
I was almost asleep when Cassian came into the room. He sank into the bed beside me.
" Why haven't you told her how you feel?" He said softly. I tried to pretend I was sleeping.
"Rhys… you're happy again… you were happier than I've ever seen you on starfall and it had nothing to do with not having had starfall under the mountain. It's her… It's been her for a long time. I know your not asleep but if you want to pretend that's fine.
" I want it to be her choice." I said gruffly.
"No, you think you will end up like your father and mother. But that could never be. We all see how much you love her." He said and rolled towards the wall.
I spent most of the night thinking. Cassian was right in many ways I was fearful of becoming like my father. Not really like my father. I love Ferye, I never really saw love between my parents. Respect, acceptance, care… but not love. Mates are regarded as a bond beyond all others, but many times mates were not in love. I wanted love above all else. That's what I was holding on to. I wanted Ferye to love me. Bond or not… I wanted her love. I finally accepted what was keeping my heart at bay. What was keeping me from telling her. It wasn't that I was her mate, it was that I was waiting on her heart.
I took her deep in the steppes to practice after her display yesterday. Cassian reminded me that the inn deep in the steppes would give us a chance to be farther away from everyone . He suggested that he thought maybe someplace new, someplace that I could just be us, and not the war, not training, not something that's familiar to me or her might get her to open up. He said he sent word to the innkeeper to give us his best room for the night, between his wink and wicked grin I could only imagine what he planned.
" don't worry it's a rowdy inn, it's not a romantic hideaway , but it's far enough away you can drop all your masks enough to see what might happen with none of us busybody's around. It's safe due to its remote location. maybe you just need to get out of your head for once. " he said as he trudged out the door to the training rings.
I flew into some of the remotest areas of the mountains. I spied a rapid stream and touched us down away from it in a clearing but Ferye wanted space … she was still fearful of her tenuous control of her powers. Which she was far more in control than she gave herself credit for given how short of time she's had them it was truly remarkable. I settled myself near the base of a large tree and thought about what Cassian had said . I had not gotten far into my inner monologue when I felt a flicker of fear in the bond … more startled than fear I thought so maybe she slipped on the icy snow pack. But then her words … prey flushed down the bond and Lucian … pulled from my thoughts I smelled them faintly, dimmed by the rain but Lucian was here with others though I didn't scent tamlin though.
Fuck… I thought and went into the bond. I felt her say no and was now close enough to hear her tell Lucian that rose hall was not her home. She had told me once that valaris was not her home. So I felt uncontrollable relief that she had voiced as much. It didn't guarantee she was home with me but home was extremely important to her. She told the bone carver home was what she felt in the abyss that brought her back … not me or tamlin… oh how I wished just once she would claim any part of night court her home , but hearing that she no longer felt that connection to rose hall made me elated beyond measure.
I marked each of the 5 males… I hedged on caution using my Illyrian skills to mark them just out of site readying to come to her aid and full power if needed but not wanting to risk the trace on my powers when I had other skills. I realized then this was her choice… that this was the choice I'd been seeking …affirmation that she would pick me, or night court, or anything except spring … It was then that Lucian lunged for her … to take her against her will but she was smarter, faster and more powerful than he was … she winnowed away not far, but far enough. I weighed my options if he got a hold of her it would be war… the cost of using my magic was worth the risk. I switched into the mask of the night court standing at her side as she appeared.
"Little Lucien, Didn't the Lady of the Autumn Court ever tell you that when a woman says no, she means it?" With a Calculated purr.
"Prick," Lucien snarled at me. That snarl cut across the bond like razor blades begging me to protect her.
"You filthy, whoring prick." "What have you done to Feyre?" Lucian spat in disgust.
But thank the mother, Caldron, stars above …
Ferye responded before I could and the bond sang in my chest.
"Don't come looking for me again," She said softly but with finality
"He'll never stop looking for you; never stop waiting for you to come home." Lucian countered "What did he do to you? Did he take your mind and—" even seeing her healthy , fighting , telling him
No … I was still a monster everyone believes me to be… despite everything he sees telling him otherwise.
"Enough," I cut him off . "Feyre and I are busy. Go back to your lands before I send your heads as a reminder to my old friend about what happens to spring court flunkies who cross into my lands." A hum of my power filled the air. As Lucian continued to question Ferye… belittle her and beat her into submission with hollow words. She had made her choice. I stood by her as she made it over and over again. Letting the power of that choice fill the empty holes still in her … letting her heal herself, knowing I was right beside her should she need me but letting her save herself . My heart swelled beyond my chest to wrap fully around her and then she left me utterly speechless.
Wings… Illyrian wings burst forth from her back. I sent my astonishment and approval down the bond. I don't know if I had words to describe what I truly felt at seeing her with Illyrian wings. It's Tamlins power that gave her the ability and it's not lost on me that she chose to turn into what I love most. I loved her with every fiber of my being already and yet seeing her with those wings I felt like I had never even loved her enough before with how I felt seeing her with wings… my wings.
My heart further expanded when I realized why she chose to show her abilities… to keep Velaris secret , I don't exactly know what caused her thought to turn to Valeris, she had her mental Shields up and I only got jumbled words or feeling down the bond but most of it was fragmented enough that I didn't have a full picture of all her actions. When Lucian finally left threatening me and my court I couldn't really care. My mate had summoned wings, my wings.
I didn't know if she'd be able to control her powers, or would want to summon those wings again, so I ran my finger along the curve of her wing. I know I should have asked but I was so filled with love not just for her, but for her protecting Velaris I was lost in just my love for her, and gave her that loving caress, her body shuttered and the wings vanished.
We flew to a new training ground.
" You look good with wings." I kissed her forehead. No longer willing to hide my affections for this woman. She had chosen not just my court, but my home, and me. I didn't lie to myself and think she was healed fully enough for me to tell her about the bond, but we were close. I could feel it in my bones.
" I asked for two," I said after opening the door to our room for the night. I don't know if I wanted to laugh or kill Cassian. The Innkeep said he never got word of our arrival, and said he was fully booked . I slid him a gold coin after considering it for a moment until he found us a room. The room was so small there would no pretending that we weren't going to be sleeping closely together. I considered for a moment winnowing back to camp, or even my cabin for the night, but with the trace on my magic I didn't want to risk whatever ilk coming to harm these rural dwellers of my court .
I left Ferye to get her some dinner. The room was cold, not so cold as outside but after the whole day of playing in the water, snow , and ice we needed a hearty meal before sleeping. The inn only had a few options for hearty meals, I got both stew and meat pies for us both. I asked for a bottle of wine… i knew I wouldn't find a great vintage, but it took a few try's before the bartender believe me I wanted his best bottle, he finally came out with a wine that was nice enough that it wouldn't taste awful.
I made it back to the room and she opened the door for me before I'd reached the top step. She had found my sweater and claimed it as her own. It was intoxicating to have her wrapped in my scent . I put the dinners on the bed.
"Go ahead and eat. I'm changing first." I told her. I didn't care if she watched or not. I wasn't leaving the room again for the night.
"You should have changed before going down stairs." She told me. I chuckled unsure of if she said it out of concerns for lingering in wet clothes or if she liked the idea of us both stripping together.
"You were the one training all day, the least I could do was get you a hot meal." I told her. I felt her thoughts down the bond and was terribly confused until I connected the dots and almost slapped my knees with laughter. She forced her self to think of toe fungus rather than think about me standing before her in the mist of changing clothes. I tucked my wings in unusually tight to work around the space as much as possible. Since Ferye decided to claim my sweater I was left with my undershirt I had for under my leathers and my softest lounge pants. I didn't mind, I'd rather her be warm and comfortable first and foremost.
Her endless curiosity got the better of her . "How do you get it over the wings" she asked. " the back is made with slats that close with hidden buttons. But in normal circumstances I'd just use magic to seal it shut." I answer eating the stew. It was bland but far better than I Expected.
Our conversation shifted to the strain of magic till she sent her unguarded thougt down the bond.
"Your not." I told her. It's not the first time I had heard her thing such things of herself and it never didn't sting. My heart ached that she couldn't see how wonderful she was in every way.
"Did you think I would go with him" she asked and I put down the bit I was taking.
" I heard every word between you. I knew you could take care of yourself ." I said, I had told her recently I wouldn't step in with Cassian and Delvon… I willed her to see I had as much faith in her as I did my brother. " and yet, I found myself deciding that if you took his hand, I would find a way to live with it. It would have been your choice." I said it was true, not just about today, but every day. Everyday was her choice. As much as I wanted to be the one she would choose, I would never take her choice away from her.
"And if he had grabbed me." She asked. That question a lone sent a primal shiver down my spine .
"Then I would have torn apart the world to get you back." I answered before I realized the utter command laced in that reply. Felt my magic twisting below its damper.
"I would have fired at him, if he had tried to hurt you." She breathed. I felt my heart hammer, did she feel the bond? As much as mated males are protective so are the females. Females can be just as protective of their mates, as they are of their children.
"I know" was all I could respond. Lost in the thought. She's said a few times things thst indicated she feels the magic of the bond, yet she doesn't really seam understand why she's feels things… she was made… did that make it different I mused.
"One thought in exchange for another," I said. "No training involved, please." She asked. Our old game of truths,
I chuckled. Maybe it was the dirt cheap wine but I just went for it.
"I'm thinking that I look at you and feel like I'm dying. Like I can't breathe. I'm thinking that I want you so badly I can't concentrate half the time I'm around you, and this room is too small for me to properly bed you. Especially with the wings." I said. I tried to read her face, the bond, anything in that moment of just laying my entire being at her feet.
"I'm thinking that I can't stop thinking about you. And that it's been that way for a long while. Even before I left the Spring Court. And maybe that makes me a traitorous, lying piece of trash, but—"
"It doesn't," I interrupted, forcing her to stop the negative avenue of her thoughts. She was feeling guilty about whatever it was she was feeling about me . Guilt, grief, and love are the most powerful of emotions and often the ones that weigh on us the heaviest. Understanding crashed through me. As she added.
"We should go to sleep" she finished.. the bond made her feel guilty more than anything else. I sucked in a deep cleansing breath.
" all right." I resolved. We both laid down. Ferye moved as far as possible away from me. Shivering. She would freeze all night long getting no sleep rather just be close to me. My heart gutted in my chest as how much guilt she feels and how often that guilt manifest in self harming behavior, like freezing all night long
.
"Your shivering so hard the bed is shaking." Please Ferye I thought. At least let me offer you the warmth I can.
" my hair is wet." She protested. It would take hours for her thick tresses to dry… Fuck it. I'm not listening to my mate shivering all night long. I rolled over and tangled around her. Pressing her back to my chest and weaving my legs around hers.
"Just body heat." I tried to hide the laughter at our predicament, but judging but the stiffness in her body I think she felt it. In my arms I felt the chill In her skin, I covered her with my wing. I knew I would feel the chill of the room in my wing all night, but if it kept her even the slightest bit warmer I didn't care.
I felt her finger glide down the membrane of my wing and shuttered. She knew how sensitive my wings are… what was she playing at. She told me of her guilt… but she continued her exploration of my wing.
" your finger… is very cold. " I protested. I felt that same happy buzz in the bond intoxicating me. I felt it only once before when she touched my wing in the air. Happy… something about my wings draws happiness out of her. Her nail dragged along my wing my eyes rolled back in my head as her nail inched dangerously close to the spot on my wings without knowing it.
" you cruel, wicked thing." I bit down on the feeling of her near that spot. I inhaled her sent driving me insane.
"Didn't anyone ever teach you manners." I gritted out in the throes of pleasure she wrought from me with just one finger on my wing, dangling me so close to edge. As she backed into me.
"First you terrorize me with your cold hands, now you want…. What is it that you want, Ferye.?" I could scent her desire, my heart was jackhammering inside my chest, drunk off the ecstasy of her touching my wings.
" I want a distraction… I want fun." She said. I felt myself go ridged… did I want to give into my desires if all she wanted was fun…. My heart thundered but my gut twisted. How far could I push the limits of my self control… I let my mind still for a second…. Don't overthink… don't think… I reached out to the bond. I felt her happy, I felt her playful, I felt the desire, I didn't feel guilt, I didn't feel self loathing…
" Then allow me the pleasure of distracting you." I growled with desire. I lost myself in her. Giving her what she asked for. Distraction. She wanted more. I wanted her with every fiber of my being to fully bed her. I wanted her unguarded I realized, I didn't regret giving into her as a distractions, it had been her choice …afterwards I wrapped in my wing,she was flush with passion As drew lazy soothing caresses over her. Feeling her fade into deep slumbering breaths below my fingers I whispered my heart to her. Whispered the intimate dreams I wanted for us if we could ever just get there. I fully gave her every last piece of myself while she slumbered. Maybe I said it all out loud, Maybe it was just wishful fantasies that danced on my tongue in that place between awake and dreams where reality can bend and make you feel like you're falling while still awake as the hours passed.
In my slumber I sensed Ferye wake and turn in my arms, I had slept so soundly I reflexively held her tighter to keep inside the blissful deep sleep, but when her eyes found mine all I could do was stare at her. Red and gold shadows cast from my wings both shaded and lumiated her face. I was bholdend to her beauty left without words .
Quitely she asked " why did you make that bargain with me, why demand a week from me every month. "
My gut tighten and I felt my eyes lower. I wanted to tell her, because I love you. Because were mates. I knew I should tell her, but that guilt I felt from last night was still lingering, that self loathing she felt at wanting me, even if wanting me was only for distraction. I didn't know if she feel better or worse this morning , her mind was sealed, so I didn't tell her. Because I was too scared to.
" because I wanted to make a statement to amarantha , because I wanted to piss off tamlin, and I needed a way to keep you alive in a way that didn't seem merciful."—- Because I was a prisoner, and you were my mate, and you were in love with him, and I couldn't let you fight or die alone… I said to my self.knowing I should have said it out loud but just couldn't force my tongue.
……..……………………………………………………………………………..
I tried to tell her all day the next day. But fear crept up every single time. Flying high over the steps she finally called me out on my withdrawn attitude today.
"What is it?" She asked.
"There is one more story I need to tell you." I told her… I was at home the most in the sky. I've only ever h felt her happiness was with my wings… she placed her hand on my cheek.
" I don't walk away . Not from you." She promised. I was ready. Here in the sky I loved.
"Ferye~~" I started to tell just as blinding pain shot through my wing, followed by a crescendo of pain throughout the rest of my body and multiple arrows tore through me. I boomed my wings despite the nauseating pain but it wasn't enough we were falling… I summoned my powers but I didn't have enough… I saw a volley of arrows coming at us… I pulled every bit of strength to my powers to shield Ferye , the arrows lodged in my wings because I didn't have enough strength to cast them far enough away. I summoned my strongest current of night and threw Ferye into … I love you I whispered with the last of my strength as I flung her…I blacked out from the pain of smashing into the ground.
A whip cracked and my back stung with enough pain it drew me out of my blackout. Ferye… where was Ferye…. Another whip… I felt for the bond… nothing … not just any kind of nothing…. Hybern. A whip cracked. I tried to take a inventory, my wings felt like they had been sheared, maybe beyond repair judging by the pain. I couldn't lift my head enough to see them. My senses we dulled… poison? I feel at least one broken rib I can't fully feel my arms the way they are stung up in the stone chains. A whip whooshed though the air but I didn't feel pain… I saw shadows and blood… Azreil? No… Ferye winnowed to strike a different set of captors. Even in in my state… Primal fear for her safety raged within me, I didn't have enough in me to lift my head, but I wanted to save her from them ... The blur of noise quieted and I felt her hands on my face. Warm and wet with blood. I tried to speak to her, but she left me. I feared she was a dream till my knees slammed into the ground along with one arm at my side. Soon enough my other arm drooped.
"Rhys" she said. Her voice is like a symphony to my heart.
"Rhys, we need to winnow home." Home…. She wanted us to go home… I reached for my powers but couldn't summon it, my body was too ravaged. My mate was depending on me to get us home, get us safe and…
"Can't" was all I could rasp… more pain came from that word on my toung than all the arrows in my wings, the poison and broken bones inside me. Home… She wanted to go home and I can't….
"Hold on" she said to me. I was wrapped in a soft light…for a brief second I thought that was that place that's after here, but dampness filled my nostrils and I slammed into cold wet stone. The ache in my wings making me want to pass out worse than before Ferye winnowed us to relative safety.
" I have to get these arrows out." She said to me. I dug my hands into the dirt floor of the cave.
"Do it" I told her.
The care she told to saw the arrows to do what she could to save the precious membranes of my wings was worth the shuttering pain it cost. She told me of painting. I felt her in the bond I clung to her to help with the worst of the pain. When she's told me of her painting the cottage I felt unworthy. She not only cared enough to save my wing, she understood pain, and gave me what she could, distraction.
She pulled out the last arrow and my wing drooped behind me. I felt as she moved around to where I was braced into the floor.
" you saved me" I told her as I lifted my head as much as I could I explained the ambush, the stone…
"Rest" she implored as she went for the blanket. I realized then most of my clothes were gone. The soldiers must have removed them to whip me. My leathers and boots would also fetch a fair amount of gold for a lowly soldier alone not to mention the weapons and coin in my pack. She returned and put the blanket around me and moved my head into her lap.
"I was looking for you." I said as I fell Into the abyss of unconsciousness.
………………………..……………………………………………..
Cassian's pov at the camp while Ferye is at the cabin.
"I'm starving," mor said.
"You're always starving, Mor. I have stew on the stove. It will be warm in a few… what the…" I saw Rhys and Ferye appear but while Ferye was marching towards the house Rhys was unable to stand laying on his stomach in the mud. I bolted for them…Mor followed me. When I got close enough I could see that Ferye was fuming mad, and Rhys was clearly hurt. I ran to him and I reached him just as I heard Ferye.
" I want you to take me somewhere far away." Ferye said to mor.
I pulled Rhys up. I got him halfway up just as Ferye spoke again.
"Please" Ferye pleaded with mor. And they vanished .
Rhys' body gave out and took us both into the mud screaming for Ferye… a few Ilyraians were coming out of their homes, they didn't need to see Rhys shattered. I locked eyes with Delvon and he understood and helped me by blocking the scene, spreading his wings wide. Giving me enough time to get Rhys out of the mud. As I did I felt the lingering fever. Saw the healing wounds.
" poisoned ash arrows. Patrols …Hit the sky's." I shouted over my shoulder and Carried Rhys into the house. I laid him down on the sofa, I could have hauled him up to his room but I wanted to get a look at his wounds first.
I threw a pot of water on the stove turning it on high heat, pulled towels and medical supplies out of the pantry. I survived his back and his wings even tucked in, I could see they were mostly healed so I was more concerned with the beating he took. It was healing too slow and still needed cleaning.
"Rhys, your back is a mess.. you need a healer …but I need to clean it first and it's going to hurt like hell." I wondered if he had the strength to go up the stairs, I could carry him but it would likely cause more pain getting him up the narrow stairs. Mor appeared just then. One look at Rhys back and she gasped and winnowed him upstairs. I carried all the supplies upstairs. Rhys was laid out on his stomach, wings drooped all the way to the floor so that I had to carefully maneuver around them. I dunked the towel into near boiling water and began cleaning his ravaged back. Mor healing powers knitting his flesh back once it's cleaned after a short while we had done all we needed to do and mercifully Rhys was unconscious whether from the pain or Mor's powers I didn't care , I marked his breathing and it was even enough and his fever was lowering .
"Do you think we need to get Madja?" I asked and I surveyed his wings again.
"No" Rhys said weakly.
"Rhys, I'm worried about the poison in your wounds… My siphons can fix bones, and cuts… but poison is something different even for Mor.
"It's bloodbane. But it's already almost out of my system." He said pulling his wings inward to a more restful position.
"Bloodbane… can't heal this fast…. "
"Free… dawn's gift… she healed me with her blood." He shuttered out.
"Rhysand you can tell us all about it later. Sleep now." Mor commanded.
"Where is she? Mor" He tried to move towards her like he had just become aware of her presents.
"She's safe, and you're going to sleep." She said pure command.
"Mor…" he bellowed as much as he could.
" She requested to be alone to think. She's fine. I'll check on her soon, but she will be cared for and safe. And you're in no condition to argue. Sleep cousin. " she curled in beside him on the bed.
"Cass." He turned to me.
"I'm with Mor on this one, your too weak to winnow, you still have bloodbane in your systems which can harm your wings if you try to fly." I said. "Please Rhys…. You need to heal first." I said to him, Something in me pleading with him must have been enough to stop his fight and he eventually drifted to sleep.
"We need to take turns keeping an eye on him at least for a day or two." I said to Mor.
"Did Feyre say anything to you?" I asked after a long silence.
" After they were attacked, she caught the suriel to find out what they poisoned him with, he told her they were Mates." Mor said remorsefully.
I felt my heart break for him. She rejected the bond… it wasn't just the poison killing him right now… I hung my head.
"She at the cabin." Mor said, barely audible. I looked at her.
"How… the wards should prevent it. "
" She just wants time, Cassian, the house must know that." She said, I lifted my head.
"You picked the cabin for that reason didn't you. Busybody" I said to her.
" I already knew… It was the first thing he said to me when he landed here after under the mountain." She said, I remembered him and her locking themselves in the townhouse …Rhys didn't talk about it but we knew the rumors of what he become under the mountain… both Az and I just guessed it would be easier for him to talk to Mor about something so raw and sensitive.
" Mor, I'll stay with him. Will you let Armen an Az know, Armens at her apartment, Az should be back at the house of wind soon." I said.
She grabbed my hand and walked down the stairs. A few minutes later she came back up with a jug of ale and the stew I had made. I ate and afterwards I laid down in the other bed in the room and pulled out the book I have been reading for the last few days.
A few hours go by and I check on Rhys. It's remarkable how much better he looks . It is not logical for him to be healing that quickly whatever Ferye did with her powers I'm thankful for.
Mor and I take turns keeping an eye on Rhys over the next few days. Az even comes and spends the night at the house. Considering how much he Hated it at the camp I was impressed he came for as long as he did. Mor spent that night with Ferye up at the cabin.
I was cooking dinner when Mor appeared.
"Ohhh that smells good." She said to me.
" chicken and rice soup." I said over my shoulder. "Rhys will be downstairs in a few minutes. I made his ass get in the bath, he was starting to smell." I started putting the soup in bowls and pulled out the loaves of bread one of the camps wife's dropped off at the house. Very few of the women show me or Az any kindness. But Some will show respect to Rhys so I suspect she may have seen him in the dirt before I could get him into the house.when I finally turned around Mor was smiling giggly behind her glass of wine.
"No good can come from that smile." I said to her.
"Indeed." She replied.
" How is she?" I asked reluctantly.
"I can't wait for your hunting trip this fall." She said with a laugh that filled the room. I just rolled my eyes as Rhys made his way down the stairs. He was healthy. Physically healed completely. He sat down for dinner and shortly into the meal Az returned . He had word from the mortal queens. Rhys turned to Mor
". We need Ferye to see the queens. " he told mor
"I bet if you think about it you can guess where she is, but I promised Ferye I wouldn't tell you. " Mor replied.
I saw it the moment it clicked.
" The flight will help your wings. Since you still have the trace on your magic…. Don't do anything I wouldn't do" I retorted and he took off.
"Is there actually anything on that list Cass" Mor snorted, laughing.
"Would you like to find out for yourself?" I crooned at her. Which made her laugh harder and Az wrapped himself in shadows.
……………………………………………………………………………………………
The cabin
……………………………………………………………………………………………
I flew to the cabin. My wings felt amazing. I've had wing injuries before and the first flights are normally a struggle because the wind moves different, feels different… but whatever Ferye healing power is, it healed all that too. Remarkable because bloodbane is a particularly nasty poison for Illyrians … it can cause clots in the microscopic vascular system of our wings which can cause the membrane to become necrotic.
I touched down and pounded on the cabin door, more forceful than I intended. I vanished my tired wings after the long flight. She opened the door. Her scent hit me first. She always had a hint of paint to her scent… like it never truly left her even if she hasn't painted in months, but paint… I smelled paint… beyond just her skin. I stood there just absolutely enthralled with her, but frozen to the stoop. She had requested to be alone , yet, I needed to tell her everything… would she let me… did she even want to listen. I had not thought about what would happen when I got here… my only thought was to get to her the whole flight. She finally edged away and opened the door wide enough for me to walk through… how I remained standing my knees shook so much I don't think I'll ever know.
I walked into a kaleidoscope of color… I stood just mesmerized. Ferye had painted every surface of the cabin. She took the cabin and made it her canvas… painted… I realized as I finally processed the individual images … us.
"You painted us." I said with awe.
"I hope you don't mind." She said simply. Mind, how could I ever mind. The cabin had always been my favorite place to escape to unwind, but now it was alive. It wasn't just a retreat anymore. It was a living work of art. As I took in the drawings I noticed she didn't paint me. I asked her why and she explained.
"You flew here?" She asked finally .
"Mor wouldn't tell where you'd gone, and there are only so many places as secure as this one. Since I didn't want our hybern friends tracing me to you I had to do it the old fashioned way… it took… a while. " I'm sure she noticed the chill on my skin, and the tiredness in my body.
"You're better" she said, almost if buying herself time to think.
"Healed completely. Quickly considering the bloodbane." I should have been unable to fly for weeks, not just days between the beating and poison.
"Thanks to you." I told her willing all the love I felt to color my voice.
" You must be hungry. I'll heat something up." She said and everything in my being screamed for joy. I stood up to my full height. This movement would live between us for infinity. Then it dawned on me, she wasn't raised fae… did she know what she was doing. I felt like I was deflating slowly as I asked her.
" you'd …make…me food?"
"Heat, I can't cook." She said plainly and turned towards the kitchen… my heart sang in jubilation. She put some stew on to the burner.Then turned to me with her endless curiosity. She read something on my face and her face dropped as she turned back to the stove.
" I don't know the rules, so you will need to explain them to me." I laughed inside … she just confirmed what I thought… she had no idea she was formally accepting the bond. However, the bond still sang to her. She didn't know it but it did. I had told her once there was one more story I needed to tell her. So I told her everything. The more the story poured out of me, the more the smell of the stew filled the air. My mouth salivated at that simple comforting smell wafting around the room. My stomach twisted like I had been starving for years. I loosened a long held breath as the soup reached a boil.
"I couldn't stop being around you, and loving you, and wanting you. I still can't stay away." I said. Giving her everything.
She ladled a filling portion of stew into the bowl I watched every step she made. Just one bowl… she stopped just before me. I wanted to reach her… but I kept still . Waiting. Wanting, hopping…
" you love me?" She questioned.
I nonned, I filled the bond with all my love, because I couldn't find the words to tell her how much I did in fact love her.
"Then eat." She said and she placed the bowl before me.
It took every ounce of 500 years of refined education not to stick my entire face in the bowl and Lap it up like a ravenous wolf. I took the spoon and filled it with that first bite. The warm buttery flavor of game mixed with carrots, potatoes and root veggies from the winter harvest filled my pallet, it felt like its warm flavors were making love to my tongue. The warmth filled my body, as my soul wrapped around each bite. Finally my spoon scraped the last drop from the bowl. I had been so enthralled in the rapturous feelings of experiencing food from my mate I didn't realize that she had remained quite the entire time I ate.
"Are you going to say anything?" I asked her . Despair creeping into my voice.
" I was going to tell you what I'd decided the moment I saw you on the threshold. ". She said with her familiar playful tone. I dared to look into her eyes, they were alive and sparkling.
" and now?" I asked. She moved towards me and sat on my lap facing me. My hands wrapped around her hips of their own volition.
" and now I want you to know Rhysand." I normally dislike anyone close to me using my full name but it sounded intoxicating on her tongue.
"That I love you. I want you to know …" I felt a tear flowing down my face, felt my lips trembling, I gripped my hands into her hips to keep them steady. She brushed her slender artist fingers over my check to wipe away my tears.
" I want you to know that I am broken and healing , but every piece of my heart belongs to you. And I am honored … honored to be your mate." She finished. I never thought I would ever hear those words in my life, let alone from a female I loved more than the sky. I wrapped her into my arms and pressed my forehead to hers in awe of everything overwhelming me. I felt her kissing away the tears as they flowed down my face.
" your mine" she breathed and my body shuttered as I felt the bond burst forth within me. My lips found hers . I kissed her with everything in my soul. It was soft, loving, sensual, claiming. As I felt my body shift to claim her. She felt it too and groaned into my kiss unleashing everything inside me
I deepened into her kiss savoring the taste of her in my tongue. I lifted her onto the table and felt her legs wrap around my back. I kissed down her neck, frenzied by how long I had contained my desire for this woman. She arched back in pleasure as I cupped her breast under her sweater and peeled it from her body. I took her in… bare from the waist up. The womanly curve of her stilled covered hips. Her ample breast, the healthy plains of her stomach, her hair twisting around her shoulders paint soaking into glissinging locks. I felt warmth in my heart, pure … pure love… my passion burned into me but I feel Alive… living just for this female. I lowered my lips to her breast and teased her peaked nipple with circling swipes of my tongue. Her hands threaded through my hair and I smacked my hand beside her head as my knees wobbled. I felt the thick wetness of a glob of paint fill my palm. I laughed… making love among the paint. Paint was her sky. Wings and paint. Artists and Illyrian. I painted on her body , a touch of a game.
" lest you forget where this is going to end." I said, baiting her. She snarled in response. I laughed fully. As I explored her other breast. She ground against me greedily. I felt her fingers digging into my leathers dropping them and the weapons still on my body falling on the floor. I dove into her mouth and felt her soft fingers on my Exposed skin. I pulled my wings from their shadows as her painted fingers claimed my skin. I pulled at her leggings and she lifted her hips allowing me to expose her fully. I pulled her by her hips to the edge of the table resting her legs over my shoulders on either side of my wings so I could feast on her . One lick of my tongue and I felt her pleasure in the bond singing to my own. She writhed with pleasure and her feet kicked into my wing, not painfully but I pushed my hand into hip to keep her still. I licked, kissed, and pumped her. Spurring her to her shattering climax with my name on her lips her body crested over in pleasure. I had more to give and pumped her harder though the throes of her climax devouring her. She climaxed again showing my tounge with wetness. She was limp and trembling laid out on that table. I leaned over her, placing kisses up her center as I went till I looked her in the eyes. "Your mine" I said with a feral claim as I picked up her pleasure limp body. I felt her asking for the wall through the bond, tempting as it was, there would be time to explore, an eternity of it. I laid her down on the bed lovingly. Softly exploring with fingertips as I stood up fully and unbuttoned my pants, my cock exploded from its confinement. I Saw her swallow hard as her eyes devoured me. I could have climaxed at the intensity of that look alone. I leaned into her slowly, I pulled in my wing tightly. Just having them out created waves of electricity though my body different from anything I've felt before. As I brought my body to her she reached over my shoulder and touched my wing, running her hand along the strong curved center tendon, my whole body shook, shivering with pleasure . Another touch like that would have erupting like a teenager…."play later" I clenched . As I kissed her. Wrapping her into my arms. Her feet wrapped around my hips I could see in her face the care she took to make sure not to entangle in my wings. I nudged at her. Still invoking her to choose this. " play later " she hissed, and my Chest rumbled with laughter as I claimed her with a slow deep plunge. I stilled fully inside her, looked her in the eyes and begged " say it again."
"Your mine" she whispered and her breath danced on my skin. And I begin a slow wicked withdrawal.
"Your mine" she claimed again and again the faster and deeper I went. The bond shown like a gold chain …forged like a blade of Illyrian steel… unbreakable.
"Your mine" she said again drawing her hands along my wings and thrusting her hips into me surging us both towards bliss.
"I love you" I breathed into the shell of her ear. And her climax rolled through her body.I scented the change in her scent and roared slamming to the hilt in ecstasy. She pulled my face to her as I finished spilling into her and her eyes were shining with starlight. I smiled at her, and she radiantly smiled back. the bond glowing between us.
I laid beside her and she curled into me. More intimate than what we just did. My mate was Just laying in my arms. Happy and in love. I traced lazy loving swirls on her bare skin. Content and fully satisfied to stay just like this forever.
" I think I fell IN love with you, the moment I realized you were cleaving those bones to make a trap for the middengard wyrm, or. Maybe the moment you flipped me off for mocking you. It reminded me so much of Cassian for the first time in decades. I wanted to laugh." I told her. Thinking it was the first time I had even thought of his name in decades. First time I ever felt any laughter in nearly 50 years. … Ferye of course didn't see this declaration the way I thought …so I flipped her nose and explained it to her, watching her eyes dance then focus on the paint. I saw her eyes marking the colors marking both our skin, the bed, … my wings… I couldn't see them from the way I held her but her hands had been all over my wings. My wings must be just as colorful as the rest of us. The house responded and I heard the bath filling up.
"How convenient that the bathtub is large enough for two." I said with a wicked playful smile. As I scooped her up and walked her to the steaming bath. It was steaming hot, with continuous billowing steam around us. Soap and oils appeared. As Ferye ducked her whole body under the hot water. Filling the tub with colorful swirls. I grabbed a wash rag and bar of soap just as she fully emerged I handed them to her. She look puzzled
" Someone, it seems, got my wings dirty." I told her and I could see the flush on her cheeks. All Illyrian can clean their wings with a type of magic. But it was indescribable the pleasure it wrought to me to feel her hands on my wings while making love to her, I wanted to feel her cleaning my wings… I wanted that uniquely womanly tenderness as much as it was my pride to fully care and provide for her, I craved her care of me. She used her finger to command me and I followed by turning my back and spreading my wings for her. I was 100% at her mercy . The gentle scrubbing felt amazing. Like a sensuous massage touching all parts of my body at once.
" At least the rumors about wingspan correlating with the size of other parts were right," she teased.
"Such a dirty wicked mouth" I played back at her and almost erupted with laughter with the images she cascaded down the bond… this woman was going to wreck me thoroughly with her wickedness.
" I think I've been falling in love with you for a while, but I knew on starfall. Or came as close to knowing and was scared of it that I didn't want to look closer. I was a coward." She reveled.
"You had a perfectly good reason to avoid it." I knew then she still had fears, the mask of night court… but I didn't get to finish my thoughts.
" no. I didn't. Maybe thanks to Tamlin." I felt my stomach twist. I didn't like hearing his name on her lips with her fingers on my wings. " but it had nothing to do with you, Rhys, NOTHING. To do with you. I was never afraid of the consequences of being with you. Even if every assassin in the world hunts us … it's worth it… YOU are worth it. " she finished leaving me speechless. I reached my hand around and touched her face.
"Thank you." Was all I could muster in my awe of what she said. We talked as I washed and massaged her back. I sat back on the built-in bench and she straddled me. I was still erect from her washing my wings but I delivered sobering answers.
"Tomorrow. We leave for your family's estate ." I told her. Thinking that if I had just taken that chance on starfall I could have property mated her and spent this week bedding her on every possible surface till we were both exhausted.
" You're telling me this now?" She scolded.
"I got sidetracked." I baited. She looked in my eyes and I don't know what she saw or thought but her face was opened and awed. Then she was glowing… it was that same glow I got a fleeting glimpse of on starfall, the one I didn't know if it was real or imagined.
"Well at least now I can gloat that I literally make my mate glow with happiness." I took her to the bedroom. I planned to lay her down and see if I could make that glow explode into a blinding sun but she laid me down taking my full girth into her mouth and hands making me almost cum in her mouth at the first swipe of her lips over my head. I pounced her, turning her over and unleashing my night. With every thrust her glow danced around my night, my night made loving swirls around her glowing light that flowed around the room. I kissed her spine and told her to look and she shattered at the site before her, her glow almost engulfing my night. It was then that a sliver of traumas I suffered flickered in the darkest corner of my mind… I pulled out of her and twisted so she was on top of me. I would no longer be stained, almost as if her glow or healing power called me to, told me to heal that ugly wounds in my past with her. She understood it too and made soft, beautiful love to me as she glowed . When I spilled into her my night and her glow spiraled together like a celestial abyss. I marveled at her and tugged on her wet hair.
"We will need to find a damper on that light. " I told her as she curled into my side. I rolled enough that I could cocoon her in my wing.
"I can keep the shadows hidden well enough." She replied.
" Ah but you only lose control of those when you're pissed. And since I have every intention of making you as happy as a person can be, I have a feeling we'll need to learn to control that wonder's glow.