005: The Social Experiment I
A Few Years Back –
When Everyone was in University –
The Government Passed A Law –
Group Name: Not Alone.
Koyomi Araragi is admin.
Koyomi Araragi made Hachiman Hikigaya admin.
Hachiman Hikigaya changed the name of the group to Lifers
Koyomi Araragi added Houtarou Oreki, Sakuta Azusagawa and Kiyotaka Ayanokouji.
[Koyomi Araragi: Okay. I added three new guys to our group. Everyone say hello.]
…
[Koyomi Araragi: Guys? Hello?]
…
[Koyomi Araragi: Okay I will start.]
Koyomi Araragi posted a picture.
Koyomi Araragi is typing…
[Koyomi Araragi: Hello. My name is Koyomi Araragi. I'm in my third year. As you can tell from my picture I have black hair, grey eyes and a medium complexion. ]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: Is there a point to describe yourself through words? You already sent a picture, Araragi-senpai.]
[Tanaka: You changed your haircut, Araragi-senpai.]
[Koyomi Araragi: I'm glad someone noticed.]
[Koyomi Araragi: Last year I had a different hairstyle. Earlier my hair used to cover my right eye. Now it covers my left eye.]
[Koyomi Araragi: Though I am thinking about growing out my hair to hide the bite mark on my neck.]
[Kyon: Nobody wants to talk about your stupid hair, Araragi.]
[Kyon: And stop talking about your bite mark like it's a normal thing. The new guys will think you are an exhibitionist or have some other weird fetishes.]
[Koyomi Araragi: Thanks for pointing it out, Kyon.]
[Koyomi Araragi: And just to make it clear to the new members, I don't have any weird fetishes.]
[Koyomi Araragi: I am completely normal.]
Hachiman Hikigaya is typing…
Kyon is typing…
Tanaka is typing…
Legoshi is typing…
Tatsuhiro Satou is typing…
[Hachiman Hikigaya: You are a sis-con.]
[Kyon: You are a loli-con.]
[Tanaka: You like Senjougahara-san.]
[Kyon: You also have a thing for Hanekawa's panties.]
[Legoshi: You are a vampire.]
[Tatsuhiro Satou: You have an ahoge.]
Hachiman Hikigaya is typing…
[Hachiman Hikigaya: What's wrong with having an ahoge, senpai?]
[Tatsuhiro Satou: Sorry!]
[Tatsuhiro Satou: I have nothing against people with ahoges.]
[Kyon: It literally means foolish hair though. Don't you guys have a problem with that?]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: I didn't come up with the term.]
[Koyomi Araragi: I like the other term better. 'Hair antennas!' Makes it sound cooler.]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: That's even worse. It sounds like something a bug would have. I get enough of that from Yukinoshita already.]
[Koyomi Araragi: And how are things with Yukinoshita-chan?]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: Fine.]
[Kyon: That was quick.]
[Legoshi: Is everything okay Hikigaya-kun?]
…
[Hachiman Hikigaya: Everything is fine.]
[Koyomi Araragi: You don't sound fine Hikigaya-kun.]
…
[Hachiman Hikigaya: Okay. Remember you asked for it.]
Hachiman Hikigaya is typing…
[Hachiman Hikigaya: I confessed to Yukinoshita at the end of last semester. She rejected me while saying that she wasn't prepared yet to handle a romantic relationship with someone she cared for about really deeply. She wanted some time because she had things to work out and then review our current relationship and see whether it was worth it to change the status quo.]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: Needless to say it felt like the longest rejection in history and I stood there like an idiot, listening to her every word, thinking she was about to change her mind at the very last second. I should have known better.]
[Koyomi Araragi: That's harsh.]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: It gets worse. After I was rejected by Yukinoshita, a couple of days later I was confessed to by Yuigahama. Now I don't know what happened, what made her confess to me in the first place, because so far everything was okay. She was a friend. A nice girl. I liked her. But I don't know what happened, why I did it, but when she said the words, 'I like you' my brain just froze and I just took off.]
[Tatsuhiro Satou: You took off?]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: I ran out.]
[Koyomi Araragi: Well, what did you say to her?]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: I didn't speak to her since then. I didn't answer her calls. I didn't reply to her texts. When she approached me on campus, I would drop whatever I was doing and leave. I didn't give her a chance to be alone with me. Sometimes, I was even downright rude, ignoring her completely.]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: I think I saw her cry once.]
[Tatsuhiro Satou: That's horrible.]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: I know.]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: I am the worst.]
…
[Koyomi Araragi: After listening to Hikigaya, I am thankful towards Senjougahara for rejecting me the way she did.]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: How did she reject you?]
[Koyomi Araragi: She shoved a box-cutter into my mouth and said no.]
[Kyon: I'm surprised she didn't take the box-cutter to your genitals.]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: I'm betting that would have happened if they ever dated. The first time they get into an argument, the genitals come off.]
[Koyomi Araragi: I am uncomfortable with you guys talking about my genitals. What will the new members think?]
[Kyon: They haven't responded yet.]
[Tatsuhiro Satou: I don't blame them. We sound like a bunch of creeps.]
[Legoshi: Maybe they are shy.]
[Tanaka: Maybe they haven't seen the messages yet.]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: No. All our messages have those two, tiny blue tick marks at the end. It means we have sent the messages, they have received it, and they have read it as well. They are just choosing to not respond or ignore us.]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: As expected of loners.]
[Koyomi Araragi: Sakuta Azusagawa Houtarou Oreki Kiyotaka Ayanokouji, please respond. Don't be shy.]
Hachiman Hikigaya is typing…
[Hachiman Hikigaya: Look, I don't like using this app. I'm a loner. I hate talking. I hate chatting. But the government doesn't have anything better to do than complain about the people who voted them into power and they like messing with the youth, the new generation, our generation, because they think we are a bunch of losers who will end up being the downfall of our great nation. They are not exactly wrong. I don't have much faith in myself either.]
[Hikigaya Hachiman: Or the new guys.]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: Like you.]
[Koyomi Araragi: Now you are just being mean.]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: I try.]
Hachiman Hikigaya is typing…
[Hachiman Hikigaya: What I'm saying is, the government passed a new law and our university has to uphold that law and so now because of some nonsensical reason, it is mandatory for every student to be a part of no less than ten groups in this messaging app. I know right. Ten! Ten! When will I have the time to do the stuff that I really like? I don't like talking to you guys. No offense.]
[Koyomi Araragi: None taken. But I heard you will be forced to participate in more than ten groups.]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: Don't remind me. I keep telling myself this is a nightmare, that I will wake up any second now.]
[Tatsuhiro Satou: What are you talking about?]
[Kyon: Didn't you listen to this idiot deliver his speech during orientation? Hikigaya has his hands full this semester. I'm pretty sure he pissed off the wrong guy and now they have come up with this elaborate scheme to kill him off.]
[Legoshi: Kill him? How?]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: Through over work.]
[Tatsuhiro Satou: Hikigaya-kun is a member of the service club.]
[Tanaka: Hikigaya is a member of the student council.]
[Koyomi Araragi: He is the den mother of the sorority house.]
[Kyon: He is also the manager of the frat house.]
Koyomi Araragi is typing…
[Koyomi Araragi: Ah! But we are forgetting something really important. I remember from his speech that he will be made the admin for each group that is ever created on campus by the students. I believe the job has an official title.]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: I really hate you Araragi.]
[Kyon: I believe it is called Cyber Chairperson.]
Houtarou Oreki is typing…
Kiyotaka Ayanokouji is typing…
Sakuta Azusagawa is typing…
[Kiyotaka Ayanokouji: It is nice to meet everyone.]
[Sakuta Azusagawa: I suffered from adolescence syndrome, so I don't use my phone a lot.]
Houtarou Oreki is typing….
[Hachiman Hikigaya: What the hell is he typing?]
[Koyomi Araragi: I don't know but I am curious.]
Houtarou Oreki is typing….
[Kyon: Is he preparing a short speech? What the hell are you typing?]
[Legoshi: I think he is uncertain about what to write. He must be typing and erasing his message continuously because he is unsure of himself.]
Houtarou Oreki is typing…
[Houtarou Oreki: Good night]
[Tanaka: Good night.]
[Kyon: The hell? Is that it?]
[Koyomi Araragi: Talk about being anti-climactic.]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: Well this counts as participation, so I can't really complain.]
[Koyomi Araragi: We have to do better. Don't you remember what Hiratsuka-sensei said at the orientation? If students don't participate in their respective groups daily then there will be certain dreadful consequences.]
[Tatsuhiro Satou: Like what?]
[Koyomi Araragi: We will be banned from the free wifi network installed on the campus. We will have no internet!]
[Kyon: That's cruel.]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: I still think this is some kind of social experiment. I have no doubt that our conversations are being monitored.]
[Tatsuhiro Satou: I have been saying that for ages. NHK is behind this!]
Koyomi Araragi is typing…
[Koyomi Araragi: Well, I don't know anything about that. But the official statement is that the government and the ministry of human resource are shocked by the number of people who become social outcasts, loners, hikikomori or NEETs after they complete their university education. The number is really big. So in order to encourage more people, especially students to become productive members of society, they have asked the universities to take this initiative. Students are asked to make groups of their own in this messaging app and they are further asked to talk about their life, what happened during the course of their day with other members of the group.]
[Kyon: In other words, we brought this on ourselves.]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: They really want this experiment to succeed. I was told that the top three groups with the most active members and the most useful bit of content will receive a prize at the end of the semester.]
[Koyomi Araragi: I say we aim for the top. What do you guys think?]
[Hachiman Hikigaya: I will pass.]
[Kyon: Yeah. It isn't worth the trouble.]
[Koyomi Araragi: C'mon! Don't be like that! Doesn't this sound like fun? If we are lucky, we will win the big prize at the end.]
Kiyotaka Ayanokouji is typing….
[Kiyotaka Ayanokouji: Winning sounds like fun.]
A/N: I can't believe this fic crossed 50 reviews! Thank you so much, you guys!
And just to celebrate I pulled out the big guns.
But if you hate the chapter, just tell me and I will delete it.
There will be some crazy chapters in the future.
Also tell me if I should write something like this from time to time. Not always, but to celebrate, let's say 50 reviews or 100 reviews or you know, other momentous occasions. Also who should feature in the next chapter – Nino Nakano OR Kyouko Hori?
Tell me what you think in the reviews.
Take care.