"Backstabber"
"Marlene McKinnon"
JULY 1981
Sirius willed the contents of his stomach to stay down as he listened to Gideon explain the exact state in which they had found Benjy and his wife. He had been blown up, the Aurors finding bits and pieces of him scattered across the house. It was undetermined if that had been the cause of death or done postmortem. Sirius stared at a spot on the floor, his arms crossed tightly in front of his bare chest as he listened to the details.
Gideon had shown up early in the morning to check on their wards and give them an update. Sirius wished he hadn't. He didn't need to hear the gruesome details.
"Why?" Marlene breathed, pressing her body as close as humanly possible into Sirius' side.
"My personal guess… they were trying to hide wand signatures," Gideon explained, a weary hand running down his face.
Sirius looked up, his brow furrowing. "Wand signatures?"
Gideon's lips drew in a thin line. "Fabian and I believe that the person who killed Benjy is also a spy within the Order. Blowing Benjy to bits afterward was a way to confuse us and prevent us from collecting and identifying wand signatures, to be able to classify and connect different wand signatures to certain individuals. There were at least five different wand signatures that we could detect but we couldn't classify any of them because they were so intermixed together."
Marlene shivered against Sirius. "Is that… typical?"
Gideon sighed. "It's typical if you want to hide and muddle evidence."
Sirius blinked. Remus was just smart enough to think about that sort of stuff. He tried to picture Remus raising his wand and pointing it at Benjy's chest. Sirius' gut twisted at the image just before he lost it.
"You two need to be careful," Gideon pressed, his freckled face so serious that he didn't even look like himself. "You know that Voldemort and his followers have a particular interest in the two of you. I trust I don't need to tell you why."
"I'm a Black," Sirius replied in a dry tone. "Guess Voldemort can't complete his collection without me."
Gideon frowned. "Partly, yes but also given how close the two of you are to James and Lily. For some reason, he wants James' head on a platter."
Sirius squinted at Gideon. The official cover story had been that Voldemort had threatened James and wanted James. Dumbledore wanted no one to know about the prophecy concerning Harry. Nobody knew the Potters were hiding to protect their child. No, they were simply hiding because James Potter was personally named as enemy number one. Sirius had heard the crazy theories as to why, had been personally asked about it, but Sirius had said nothing. It wasn't anybody's business anyway.
Marlene shrugged. "He was rather upset James wouldn't join him after several invitations. Some sort of sick fascination with James, I suspect."
Sirius glanced over at Marlene, his eyes focusing on the top of her brown head. Marlene knew that wasn't the truth. She knew Voldemort was after Harry due to some prophecy, but she didn't know the contents of it like Sirius did. Marlene didn't want to know, too afraid of possessing that information.
"And with Frank," Gideon added. "Frank and Alice have been on a leave of absence for months now."
Sirius nodded, knowing that they too were on the same broom as James and Lily. Neville had been a target just as much as Harry was. Except, from what Sirius understood, Voldemort was more focused on Harry than Neville for reasons Sirius didn't know nor understand. The only logical reason that Sirius could come up with was that it wasn't befitting of a blood supremist to go after a pureblood and more fitting to go after the half-blood.
"It's awful," Marlene murmured.
"It is," Gideon agreed as he glanced down at his watch. "I have to go. I have a department meeting in a half hour. Just… take care of yourselves, yeah?"
"Always," Sirius replied.
After Gideon left the cottage, Sirius stepped away from Marlene and carded both of his hands through his hair, gripping the too-long strands tightly. He wanted to scream, to throw something, to do something. His entire world seemed to be spiraling out of control, like the chess pieces were moving to the Order's disadvantage.
"Sirius," Marlene whispered.
He couldn't speak. He didn't need to be placated or told that everything would work out all right. Benjy was dead and the coverup had already started. Sirius' chest heaved as his eyes landed on the table in the entryway that Marlene had decorated with photos of their friends' group and family. A picture of Remus and himself at fifteen shone brightly in the mass of frames. Their arms were slung around each other, wide grins on their faces. They had been young and stupid and such good fucking friends.
Sirius grabbed the picture and hurled it across the room. The glass shattered when it hit the wall. Marlene shouted his name, but Sirius could barely hear her. Her voice was just a buzzing in his ears, like she was shouting at him through a very long tunnel. He grabbed a picture of the four Marauders at eighteen at a pub the summer after their seventh year, their glasses clinking together as they celebrated entering the next phase of their lives. They had been so excited and it had been nothing but a pile of fucking dragon shit. He grabbed that picture too, blind fury filling his body at the sight of his own stupid smug face looking so cocky, and hurled that across the room as hard as he could as well.
He reached for another photo when Marlene grabbed his arm. His chest heaved but he didn't move. His legs shook beneath him as he fell to the ground.
"Sirius, stop," Marlene spoke clearly, her voice a light in the ever growing dark, as she collapsed next to him on the floor.
"It was Remus," Sirius whispered.
Marlene shook her head, her fingers tightening around his arm. "No, it wasn't. Sirius, you're spiraling again."
"Things have never been clearer," Sirius argued.
"Do you really think Remus would do something like this? Remus, Sirius!"
Sirius shook, his muscles so tense he couldn't stop shaking for the life of him. "Someone has been passing on information about Lily and James for months. Voldemort knows things about them he shouldn't… Voldemort's spy…"
Sirius screwed his eyes shut. He tried to control his breathing but couldn't no matter how hard he tried. Everything seemed so clear, like he was truly seeing for the first time in months. Opening his eyes, his gaze focused on the broken frame that housed the picture of him and Remus. The way Remus grinned made it hard to believe the things he had done. But it had to be Remus. There was no one else.
Marlene wrapped her arms around him tightly. "Sirius…"
"If they got to Benjy, who will they get to next?" Sirius asked in a shaky voice.
That thought scared him more than Benjy's death. They were all exposed. Their identities were out in the open. Sirius bowed his head down, his breathing coming out in harsh huffs. He had never wanted to run more in his life, to grab all of the Potters and Marlene and just hightail out of England. It was the coward's way out, he understood that. But the thought of losing any one of the four of them petrified him. He couldn't lose them. They were his only family.
Remus knew it was a bad idea, but his cock had other ideas when he found himself outside of Dorcas' flat one evening with a bottle of elf-made wine. He stood outside the door, craving the human connection he had grown so used to at Hogwarts and then lost when the Marauders branched off on their own and the mistrust amongst them started to brew. Remus rubbed his chin for a few seconds before he knocked on the door.
It took a few moments before Dorcas opened the door. She frowned when she saw him, her arms crossing over her chest as she leaned against the doorframe.
"Didn't you say we were done being shag buddies?" Dorcas asked, an amused look crossing her face.
Remus winced. "I have a hard time letting people in. I'm sorry. I want to be friends."
"Just friends?" Dorcas asked, still blocking the doorway.
Remus wanted to say no but he knew he couldn't be anything more than a friend to her. Dorcas was smart and successful as an Unspeakable. She was just starting out, climbing the corporate ladder in a way Remus would never be able to. Dorcas was respected amongst her peers and revered in the Order of the Phoenix. She could do loads better than a poor and Knutless werewolf.
Remus held up the wine. "I won this in a game of chess."
A smile twitched on Dorcas' face as she leaned against the doorframe. "Only you would win a bottle of wine in a game of chess."
Remus grinned. "Well, it's one of the finer elf-made wines. This one is from 1854 and fermented with wild berries curated from the fae."
Dorcas rolled her eyes as she stepped back to allow him to enter her flat. Remus licked his bottom lip as he entered, his eyes immediately catching sight of a large board with pictures of the Order of the Phoenix pinned to it. His heart stopped in his chest when he saw the big red X painted across Benjy's face.
"What's this?" Remus asked as he stepped closer to it before he turned to look at her.
She tucked a thick strand of crimped hair behind her ear. "There's a spy in the Order. I took it upon myself to look at who it could be."
Remus blinked at her. "Since when?"
"It's been an obsessive hobby of mine for the past month or so, but I started this after Benjy died a week ago."
Remus turned back to the board, his eyes locking on Sirius Black's photo in the second row. He noted Dorcas' neat handwriting underneath the picture and swallowed.
1. Increasing antisocial behavior and separating himself from close friends
2. Sudden and aggressive mood swings
3. Throws around baseless accusations
Remus laughed. Sudden and aggressive mood swings wasn't anything particularly new with Sirius. Out of the four of them, Sirius had always been the moodiest. He had huge swings between the highest of highs and lowest of lows. He could be laughing his arse off one day plotting the next and greatest prank, to the following day ranting and raving at the drop of a hat.
He tore his gaze away from Sirius' rather grim and expressionless face as he focused in on Marlene next to him. A bullet point list appeared under her name as well. Dorcas stepped up next to him, their shoulders brushing against one another.
"Matthew was Benjy's handler," Dorcas explained as she pointed to the picture of Matthew McKinnon. "He was supposed to make sure that nobody found out what Benjy was doing at Gringotts."
"But someone did," Remus whispered, his eyes snapping to the picture of Matthew above Sirius'.
"Did you know Sirius has been going on a lot of missions with Gideon, Fabian, Edgar, and Matthew?" Dorcas asked.
Remus' heart pounded in his chest as he saw Gideon and Fabian Prewett's pictures on the left side of Edgar's photo. On the right side was Matthew. They were all Aurors. Sirius had positioned himself to go on missions with all the Aurors in the Order of the Phoenix.
"Does that mean something?" Remus whispered.
Dorcas shrugged. "You tell me. It could merely mean that Sirius' relationship with Marlene has made him closer to Matthew who then introduced him to his group of friends. Or it could be Sirius positioning himself as a spy."
Remus snapped his attention towards her. "I thought you didn't believe Sirius was the spy."
Dorcas frowned. "Sirius has been acting…"
There was a host of words that Dorcas could use to describe Sirius but none of them would be anything new. Sirius didn't trust anyone, even back in school. He stuck to the Marauders and had disdain for anyone else who tried to penetrate their little bubble. Except now, now Sirius had branched out in a way he had never branched out before socially. That didn't make a lot of sense to Remus.
"Sirius has always been irrational and moody," Remus supplied. "He's never been a social butterfly. He sticks to the same people time and time again."
"Except he's found new people to surround himself with," Dorcas pointed out.
Remus shook his head, his mind spinning with possible reasons as to why. "James is in hiding. And Sirius has made it quite clear that he hates me. He always thought Peter was dense and not worth the effort or time."
Dorcas grabbed the neck of the wine bottle and tugged it out of his hand. Remus didn't move from the board as his eyes continued to scan over each and every member of the Order and Dorcas' observations. Remus stilled when he saw Peter's photo.
1. Misses the most Order meetings
2. Never sticks around after meetings
3. Seems withdrawn and quiet
4. Often stares at the table or his lap during meetings
Remus sighed. "These are more personality traits than observations, Dorcas."
"Read yours," Dorcas pressed.
With a sigh, Remus found his picture and only one sentence written underneath his picture. It read, Too damn bloody fucking sexy for his own good. A strangled noise sounded in the back of his throat as he felt himself stir.
He cleared his throat as he turned towards her. "This is very subjective."
"You know, you'd make the best spy," Dorcas said in a low tone as she started to unbutton her blouse. "You sit in meetings all serious and broody, doing that thing you do with your eyebrows."
"I don't know what I do with my eyebrows," Remus admitted as he took a step closer to her.
"It's like you're in deep thought. Almost as though you are solving all the world's problems," Dorcas explained as her blouse fell off her shoulders. "So fucking sexy."
"Dorcas," Remus moaned as he tried to think about anything other than Dorcas undressing in front of him. "We're supposed to be just friends."
"You don't want that, Remus," she challenged as she shimmied out of her skirt.
Remus swallowed, knowing she was more than just a little right. "We need to be."
Dorcas stared him straight in the eye as she reached behind her and undid the hook of her bra. Remus knew he was a goner as soon as the fabric tumbled to the ground. Stumbling forward, his lips crashed against hers as all sense and reason left his brain. When they collapsed down onto her sofa, his mouth finding her breast, the thought of being a poor werewolf escaped his mind as he indulged more than he really should.
Sirius had been asked to mind Harry for the evening on the same night that Marlene's family was throwing a family dinner for her father's birthday. He had been torn because he wanted to spend time with his godson and knew Lily and James needed a break, even if it was a home-cooked meal on their back deck for their anniversary. But he didn't want to upset Marlene when he was trying to muster up the courage to propose to her.
"Go," Marlene sighed. "You don't have to go to every single family event. Trust me, my family has far too many. Besides, aren't you going to the Gobstones competition in Glasgow with my dad tomorrow?"
"I am," Sirius confirmed, his hands stuffing into his trouser pockets. "I just promised James and Lily before I knew about the dinner."
Marlene leaned in close to him, her fingers wrapping around the dog tags around his neck and tugging him closer to her. "They'll find it endearing and cute that you're missing the dinner so you can watch your almost-one-year-old godson."
"If he was allowed out of the house, I would bring him," Sirius assured her as his hands left his pockets to grab her waist.
"You'd win over my family even more," Marlene replied with a wide grin. "They'd probably ask when we were getting married and having our own little Blacks."
Marlene looked up at him, her eyes shining darkly. Sirius stood frozen in her arms, unsure of how to respond to that statement. Was she gauging a future with him? Did she want little Black babies running around? Suddenly the proposal felt even more daunting because he wasn't entirely sure what kind of family he wanted. He didn't have the best example of parents growing up. He'd probably be a shit dad. Then Fleamont Potter flickered in front of his eyes and he thought maybe he'd be all right as a dad as long as he thought about what Fleamont would do.
Sirius swallowed. "Is it that what you want? A bunch of little shits with the last name Black?"
Marlene rolled her eyes. "Don't call them little shits."
"They would have my DNA, Marlene," Sirius explained, his hands riding up her sides. "Of course, they're going to be little shits."
Marlene tried to fight the smile that crept on her lips. "What if we had a little girl?"
Sirius blinked. "I know nothing about girls."
Marlene no longer tried to hide her smirk. "She could marry Harry."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't dream of cursing my godson into marrying a Black. What an unfortunate thing to hope for. You're mental enough to even entertain the idea of being with me."
"Not all Blacks are bad," Marlene said with a shrug.
"Said no one ever," Sirius added as he leaned down and pecked her on the lips. "We're dark and scary and a bunch of inbred freaks."
"Shut up," Marlene huffed as she tried to push him away from her but he only tightened his grip.
"See, you're not denying it!" Sirius replied with a bark-like laugh.
"Sirius, maybe we should spend Christmas this year with Andy and Ted," Marlene offered. "They're the only members of your family that you love and don't see often enough. Maybe you won't be so self-deprecating if you just accepted there are Blacks you love."
Sirius shook his head. "Remus is the self-deprecating one, not me."
The words left his mouth before he could stop himself. His mood instantly darkened at the thought of his… well, whatever Remus was now. Friends seemed foreign and wrong, not after he had spent so many months and energy on believing he was Lord Voldemort's spy.
"Talk to Remus," Marlene pressed. "It'll make you feel better. You miss him."
"I miss no one," Sirius assured her even though he knew that was a boldfaced lie.
He missed Hogwarts and the bond that the Marauders had once upon a time. He missed going out to the pubs with James. He missed running around like maniacs on the full moons. He missed having his own bedroom at the Potter Estate. He wished he could go back and appreciate it all more than he had at the time.
Marlene sighed. "Sirius."
"Fine. I miss James and Lily and Harry and having it all be normal," Sirius conceded. "It hurts to think that Harry has never known a normal day in his life. He went straight from St. Mungo's into hiding. What kind of fucking childhood is that?"
Marlene's face softened. "He will get that chance."
"You don't know that," Sirius insisted as his hands dropped from her side and he took a step back.
Marlene reached out for his hand. "I know you're scared."
"I'm not scared, Marlene. I'm downright fucking petrified," Sirius admitted, probably for the first time out loud. "I never knew it was possible to love someone so much. He's not even my kid and I love him so damn much. The thought of something happening to him is literally paralyzing."
"He's your godson, Sirius," Marlene reasoned. "Of course, you love him that much."
Sirius screwed his eyes shut, trying to think of a way to accurately describe his feeling, but he was shit at sharing feelings. Walburga and Orion didn't really do feelings. They did obedience and compliance.
"I love James," Sirius started, his gray eyes meeting her hazel. "He's my brother. He gave me a family. He has always been there for me. I would die for him. I am fighting in a fucking blood purity war for him. I would set fire to any fucker that laid a hand on him. But Harry… Marlene, I would die if Harry wasn't here. I can't imagine a world without him. I love him more than I have ever loved James and I didn't think that was even possible. I would torture and kill anyone who even looked at Harry wrong."
"He'll be all right, Sirius," Marlene pressed, her hand squeezing his tightly. "You have to believe that."
"Voldemort's marked him," Sirius croaked, his voice shaking. "He's marked them all. They're my family, Marlene."
"He won't touch any of them," Marlene sounded so sure and confident that Sirius almost believed her.
Sirius bowed his head. "I don't see all of us coming out of this alive, Marlene. My only goal is to take out as many Death Eaters as humanly possible before I'm buried six feet under myself. The less of them there are, hopefully the more chance Harry has of surviving."
Marlene sniffed. "You know what I like so much about you, Black?"
Sirius looked up. "What's that, McKinnon?"
"For someone who was so brazenly abused by his family, you love so fiercely," Marlene whispered. "There aren't many you love or many you even allow in your orbit. But the ones you do… you'd go to the edge of the earth for them without thought or question or even regard for yourself. That selflessness… that pure and raw love… it's what I love most about you, Sirius."
Sirius' throat clogged. The words I love you didn't seem powerful enough in that moment. "I'd go to the edge of the earth for you too."
Marlene smiled. "I know."
"Marlene," Sirius said in a thick voice. "I don't know how to tell you how much you mean to me."
Marlene only shook her head, her hands cupping his scruffy face and tugging his head down to her level. She kissed him. Not a soft and tender kiss either. No, it was bruising and rough. It was desperate as though they were both clinging to the edge of a building for dear life. Neither one could let go or else they would plummet to their untimely death. It was the kind of kiss that curled toes and made Sirius feel as though he were floating.
It could have been seconds or minutes or bloody fifteen hours later when the two pulled apart. All Sirius could think about was how he wanted to take her upstairs and show her how much she meant to him. She understood him better than anyone, felt like his other half, which was an odd feeling since that position had always belonged to James before. He didn't think he would ever find a companion to spend his life with and certainly didn't think it would be Marlene McKinnon growing up, of all people.
"I went to that bakery you like in Manchester," Marlene commented as her body pulled away from his. "I got you a treacle tart to share with Harry. Figured a godfather's job is to spoil the child, right?"
Sirius grinned as he watched her cross the room to grab the tart off the counter. "Lily said she gave him a little bit a few weeks ago and he loved it."
"I know," Marlene replied as she held out the tart. "He threw a fit for more."
Sirius accepted the tart, his lips twitching. "He may not be a redhead, but he does have a bit of Lily's temper."
Marlene rolled her eyes. "Don't say that in front of Lily!"
Sirius grinned as he bent down to peck Marlene on the corner of her mouth before he headed out for the evening. Now more than ever, he was convinced that Marlene was the one for him. He just needed to figure out when and where to propose to her. Then, they would have to work out all the details of a wedding. He didn't want a grand or extravagant wedding, but he knew he wanted James by his side and Harry to be in the wedding. Marlene would want Lily as her chief bridesmaid. The logistics of it all was definitely a future Sirius problem.
When Sirius entered the Potters' cottage, he was assaulted with the smell of dinner and dessert as well as the loud cackling laughter and babbles of Harry. He announced his arrival as he made his way to the parlor, sitting the tart onto the table in the foyer for later. Harry squealed loudly in response, and Sirius could hear his godson stomping his little feet.
Sirius met Harry in the doorway of the parlor, hauling the little boy up into his arms. Harry's arms wrapped around his neck as he leaned forward to give Sirius a very wet kiss. Sirius winced as he felt Harry's teeth against his cheek.
"All right, mate, that's a good kiss," Sirius said as he patted Harry on the back and tried to pull his head away. "Thank you."
Sirius saw James sitting on the floor in front of a mess of blocks. His hair looked longer than normal and Sirius knew that he was stress-growing it again. It had been a Potter family trait. Sirius could remember James stressing about a big Quidditch match, his hair growing longer by the hour it seemed. Except, that wasn't the only thing different about James. Right above his ears were a few strands of what appeared to be gray hair. Sirius hadn't noticed it before, but certainly noticed it now in the sunny parlor.
Harry's face attacked Sirius' once more. Sirius let out a sigh as he accepted the slobbery kiss. Making his way into the room, he sat down on the floor across from James and plopped Harry into his lap.
"Hey," Sirius greeted James.
James tossed a little blue block in the air. "Hello, Pads. Thanks for coming. Marlene told Lily about her dad's birthday dinner. We could have rescheduled. It's just an early anniversary dinner. Could have had it next week. Our schedule is pretty wide open."
"I agreed to come here before that was ever planned," Sirius reasoned. "Plus, I'm going to a Gobstones competition with Merrick tomorrow. I'm sure we'll also celebrate his birthday during Sunday brunch, which is his actual birthday. The McKinnons celebrate one event five different ways."
James chuckled. "It's the fancy pureblood way."
Sirius rolled his eyes as Harry shifted off his lap and started showing him all of his blocks. "Any excuse to avoid all of her relatives asking when we'll get married is appreciated."
James blinked. "If this is about the actual wedding and us not being able to attend because we're in hiding, that's not a good enough excuse not to pop the question."
Sirius stacked a few blocks and watched as Harry squealed as he kicked them. "Conceited much, mate?"
"Well, I can't figure out what the holdup is honestly, Sirius," James replied. "How long have you had the ring again? I didn't last two days with it before I proposed to Lily."
"We're in the middle of a war, James," Sirius said with a sigh.
James gestured to Harry. "Yeah, Lily and I went a bit further in the middle of a war. I'm not saying you need to have a mini-Sirius anytime soon, but I wouldn't object to you giving Harry a best mate."
Sirius licked his bottom lip, his eyes staring down at Harry's unruly mess of hair. "You told me Harry was the result of a failed spell."
"Shh, we're not going to tell him that!" James protested. "Lily will bloody well kill you if she hears you say that."
Sirius glanced up at James, the corners of his lips twitching. "Noted. Don't tell Harry he was the product of his father's shoddy spell work when he was horny."
"Fuck off," James muttered as he leaned back against the sofa. "Just you wait until you have a son and I'm the godfather. Merlin, payback is a very real thing, Sirius."
Sirius chuckled. "Who says I'd make you godfather?"
James looked genuinely offended and Sirius was reminded of just how good of an actor his best mate could be. "I will revoke godfather privileges on Harry."
"He likes me more than you already," Sirius joked. "You don't stand a bloody chance at succeeding."
"Yeah, you keep believing that, Pads," James replied, his head shaking.
"What are you two arguing about?" Lily's voice suddenly sounded behind Sirius.
He turned around to see Lily leaning against the doorframe to the parlor in a sundress and an apron. Her auburn hair was pulled back into an elegant updo. Her green eyes sparkled as she looked at the small group on the floor.
"James threatened to revoke godfather privileges," Sirius explained, a pout working its way on his face.
Lily sighed. "James isn't revoking anything."
James stood up from the floor and crossed the room. "He said I wouldn't be his kid's godfather."
Lily cupped James' scruffy face in her hands. "You're going to be godfather, don't worry." Lily peered around James to look at Sirius. "Is Marlene pregnant? How could she not tell me?"
"No," Sirius said loudly with a sigh. "She is not up the duff. We were just talking about all the stupid things you two did during the war like getting married and totally planning on having a kid that was one thousand percent not because James can't do a proper spell while his cock is hard."
Lily just blinked at him for a few moments. "I will revoke godfather privileges if you can't stop with the language. He's going to start to talk soon. Really talk. I don't want the first word out of his mouth to be cock or fuck."
Sirius' eyes grew wide, his eyebrows disappearing to his hairline. "Did you just say cock? And fuck? Wait… Lily Evans said cock and fuck right now? James, pinch me. I must be dreaming."
James only shook his head. "No, I'd rather stay out of this little squabble between you two."
"Way to back up your best mate, Potter," Sirius snapped.
James turned around, his hazel eyes meeting Sirius' gray ones. "You're causing trouble, Sirius."
"That's what I do, though!" Sirius insisted as Harry whined next to him and hit him with a block.
"We're going to go to dinner," Lily announced loudly. "Can you just cease the language while you mind Harry, please?"
"I'll try to the best of my ability but I cannot guarantee that I will be successful," Sirius pledged as he pulled a whiny Harry onto his lap. "Give me a second, mate, and then I'll build you the biggest bloody tower that ever existed."
"Sirius!" Lily exclaimed.
Sirius winced. "Is bloody a sweary word? Really? Evans, we need to have a talk about your expectations with language because they are very, very high."
James grabbed Lily's arm. "Thanks for watching Harry, Pads! We'll be on the back deck if you need us, but don't get us unless there's severe bleeding or loss of limb. That's for Harry only. You're a big boy. You can deal with your own wounds."
Sirius let out a bark-like laugh as he shot James a two-finger salute before turning his attention back to his godson. Big crocodile tears were spilling down Harry's chubby cheeks. Sirius wiped the tears off his face.
"All right, mate, let's build that tower, yeah?" Sirius said in a gentle voice. "Next time I won't talk so long with your mum and dad. You're way more important."
Harry clapped his hands, all signs of sadness leaving his face once Sirius started to build the tower. Sirius only stacked four blocks when Harry knocked them down, a loud cackle filling the room. A chuckle escaped Sirius' lips as he went back to building small little towers and his heart swelled as Harry's laughter rang throughout the house.
Peter had hung back while the Death Eaters had infiltrated the McKinnon residence. The last thing he needed was for someone to send a hasty Patronus and out him as a spy. His heart thudded in his chest as he waited in the entryway, still and immobile while a storm of chaos surged around him, screams and cries echoing throughout the house. Some sort of event must have been happening since it was a full house. Peter couldn't help but wonder if Sirius was somewhere in the house. His eyes darted around, terrified at the thought of seeing his face appear from the corner. He would never survive the night if Sirius saw him here. He knew Sirius would make sure of that.
Growing too antsy in the foyer, Peter made his way into the home to see how they were all fairing. Peter walked into the study and immediately regretted it when he saw Bellatrix torturing Marlene, her long brown hair tangled and sweaty against her ashen features. Marlene's dark eyes met Peter's as she gasped for breath as the Cruciatus Curse lifted. Her eyes widened, and Peter knew she knew.
"Come to watch my cousin's little whore suffer?" Bellatrix asked as she looked over her shoulder at him, a sinister smirk crossing her features.
For months, Peter thought Bellatrix was the most beautiful witch he had ever seen. A sort of flawless and classic beauty in the way she didn't wear heavy make up or fix her hair to perfection. There was a wildness about her, a sort of effortless beauty that took Peter's breath away. In that moment, he understood the term Black Madness. There was a glint of something Peter didn't quite recognize. It was the same glint that Sirius had in his eyes when he told Snape about Remus and the Whomping Willow, like he had an out-of-body experience and a momentary splash of madness that had consumed him. Seeing Bellatrix with that same glint scared him more than he was willing to admit. Because unlike Sirius, who had otherwise constrained his Black madness outside of that rare moment, Bellatrix embraced her mania. It was unbridled to the point of sheer lunacy.
"Peter," Marlene croaked, a fire flashing across her eyes. "Why?"
Peter swallowed a lump, wanting to run and hide. Marlene had to die or else he would. Dumbledore wouldn't allow him to live after betraying the Order of the Phoenix. Not like this. Even Dumbledore had his limits when it came to mercy and second chances.
"Do you want to practice on her?" Bellatrix's voice was smooth and sweet like honey that devoured him.
Peter took a step forward, his wand shaking in his hand. He couldn't deny Bellatrix anything that she asked of him. It had been his weakness, what had slowly pulled him under. He would follow Bellatrix wherever she asked.
"Crucio!" Peter bellowed as Bellatrix's laughter rang in one ear while Marlene's cries sounded in the other.
When the curse ceased, Marlene just laid there with a heaving chest and tears rolling down her cheeks. Peter couldn't stomach to look at her any longer. He snapped his attention to Bellatrix to see a sneer work its way across her face as she flung red sparks past Peter, just narrowly missing him.
Peter flung his body onto the floor as he whipped around to see Marlene's brother, Matthew, appear in the doorway, bloody and disheveled. Matthew was an Auror and a bloody good one at that. He was the main reason that Sirius had found new friends in Gideon and Fabian Prewett, was well as Edgar Bones. Matthew had brought Sirius into their little Auror group, embracing him like a brother. Anger boiled in the pit of his stomach at the very sight of Matthew.
Peter watched in complete awe as Bellatrix and Matthew battled. Spells flew all around them as the walls vibrated with the sheer amount of power in the room. Peter's blond hair blew off his face as the spells hurled past him at breakneck speeds. Peter had never seen anything quite as amazing, his heart hammering in his chest. There was no doubt in his mind that Bellatrix would triumph if nothing more than by the sheer determination that danced across her face.
Only a few minutes later, Peter was proven right when Matthew fell to the ground with crimson splashed over every single spot of his body. It was almost as though his veins had all burst open and killed him in an instant. Bellatrix cackled, a little skip to her step as she wheeled around to face him.
Except the look of victory fell from her face as her left wrist snapped harshly to the side, a spell leaving her wand in a fast and furious manner. A grunt had Peter whipping around to see Marlene flying through the air. Pictures that had hung from the wall lay broken and scattered on the floor.
"I think death seems too kind," Bellatrix whispered. "I'd like to see her suffer. I'd like even more for my cousin to think her dead and reunite years later with no memory of him."
Peter's gut twisted as Bellatrix took a step closer to Marlene as she lay in a heap on the floor. Blood smeared the entire room and Peter didn't think Marlene had much more to lose before she bled out completely. Bellatrix crouched down beside Marlene, her wand pressing into her sweaty and bloody forehead.
"Obliviate," Bellatrix hissed, her wrist twisting.
Marlene's body convulsed in a way that Peter had never seen before, almost as though Bellatrix decided that a bit more power and cruelty was needed to deal with Marlene McKinnon. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as Bellatrix broke the connection and stood up, her wand hanging by her side.
"Who is Sirius Black?" Bellatrix asked in an amused tone.
Marlene's brows furrowed. "Who?"
Bellatrix laughed once more as she flicked her wrist with another Crucio escaping her ruby lips. Marlene thrashed and screamed harder than she had before. The spell lifted and Peter stared wide-eyed at the scene in front of him.
"Where is James Potter?" Bellatrix asked, her wand twirling between her fingertips.
Marlene let out a shaky breath. "Please…"
Bellatrix cocked her head to the side, her eyes sparkling oddly in the dim lighting of the study.
"Bella!" Rodolphus barked. "Stop playing and kill her! Rabastan is going to burn it to the ground to hide the signatures."
"No, she can either try to escape or burn," Bellatrix said in a low and sadistic voice. "Your family is dead, McKinnon. Every single last one of them. I'll kill every single last one of your friends. I will hunt you down and murder you like a fucking pig if you are able to escape."
"Enough playing, Bella!" Rodolphus commanded. "This doesn't always have to be some grand game every time!"
Peter heard spells being shot, windows shattering in the distance. Death Eaters scrambled out of the house, their laughter penetrating his ears.
"The fire has started! The broom brigade will be here shortly!" Rodolphus explained. "Kill her!"
Rodolphus rushed from the doorway, unconcerned if Bellatrix burned alive or not. Bellatrix was equally unconcerned as she sent another Cruciatus Curse at Marlene, her face lighting up with glee as Marlene twisted on the floor.
"We have to go!" Peter shouted. "P-please! Miss… Mistress!"
Bellatrix's spell ceased. She turned and made her way out of the study, calmer than calm. Peter shook, wondering if he should just kill Marlene in case she someone somehow regained her memories, if she somehow managed to crawl out of the house. He hesitated only a split second as Marlene laid there motionless, her eyes boring into Peter. With a breath, he turned to follow Bellatrix.
Flames licked the walls and the thick smoke coiled around him. He pressed his wand to his face to cast a bubble charm around his mouth and nose as he followed Bellatrix's bouncy and wild black hair. As he stepped out into the warm July air, the sirens of the broom brigade making their way towards the house rang around him.
Peter looked back at the house to see half of it was already engulfed in flames. Blinking at the house, he felt a small spark of accomplishment blossom in his chest. It was the same feeling he always had whenever James would congratulate him on a prank well played or when Remus would praise him for doing well on a paper. Sirius, well Sirius had never praised him for anything. No, Sirius always seemed to look down at him with disdain and a cruel laugh on the tip of his tongue.
Now it was Peter who would get the last laugh.
James leaned back in his chair and looked up at the sky. The sun was slowly sinking, casting an orange glow all around them. He vaguely wondered if Sirius had put Harry to bed but doubted it. Anytime Sirius was over, Harry seemed to catch a second and a third and a fourth wind and refused to succumb to sleep despite the constant eye rubbing. He was so damn happy that James felt bad denying Harry the one small joy and break from the monotony of being cooped up inside. Harry had never known anything outside of their home in Godric's Hollow.
"I feel like we haven't heard them for a while," Lily commented as she grabbed her glass of wine. "It's never a good thing when the noise stops with those two."
James glanced across the table. "I'm sure they just fell asleep on the sofa. It's late for Harry."
Lily smiled into her wine glass. "Sirius is as much of a child as Harry, so it makes sense."
James laughed, throwing his head back. "Sirius has matured a lot the past couple of years."
Lily cleared her throat. "I was listening to your conversation with Sirius earlier. Do you really think he's not proposing because we're in hiding?"
James sighed as he reached for his own wine, twirling the red liquid in the glass. "I think it's on his mind. Sirius doesn't have a lot of family that he likes and Marlene has a ginormous family. I know he wants us there but doesn't want to put us in danger. But, with that being said, I think Sirius has a lot of baggage and he's worried about Marlene getting sick of him. It's almost like he's waiting for her to say she's had enough and leave him."
Lily pursed her lips. "He has been pushing people away lately."
"You mean Remus," James replied, his tone bitter. "I can't decide if Sirius is just being prejudiced over the entire werewolf thing after all these years or if it's because Remus has been shagging Dorcas or because Sirius is just being a paranoid git."
Lily frowned, her head shaking. "They'll get over their issues eventually."
James sighed. He didn't know if he entirely believed it. Sirius had always been a bit short with Peter, obviously annoyed that Peter was a bit slower on the uptake. Sirius and Remus had always been well-matched in wit and intelligence, James truly believed that the two of them were just too similar and that was why the seeds of doubt and mistrust had been sowed between them.
The back door opened and a half-asleep Sirius appeared in the doorway with a sleeping Harry in his arms. James looked at his friend's disheveled appearance and raised his eyebrows.
"I don't mean to interrupt," Sirius whispered. "But Dumbledore's here and wants to talk to all of us."
"Dumbledore's here?" Lily whispered.
James' jaw clenched. His mind went wild with why Dumbledore would turn up at their house at this hour of the night. James didn't like the possibilities. His heart hammered in his chest as he rose from his chair, his eyes locking with Sirius' to silently ask him what was happening.
"I don't know, Prongs," Sirius said, his hand rubbing Harry's back.
Without another word, the trio made their way inside of the house. They found Dumbledore standing in the parlor, his hands folded in front of him and his face looking uncharacteristically grave.
"James, why don't you hold Harry?" Dumbledore suggested as he surveyed them over his moon-shaped glasses.
James reached over for Harry, the two of them making the transfer with practiced ease. Harry mumbled in his sleep but settled in James' arms after a few moments. Lily left his side, making her way to stand on the other side of Sirius.
James took a step closer to Sirius, their shoulders brushing together. There was no doubt in his mind that the news Dumbledore had was about Andromeda Tonks. Why else would Dumbledore be addressing his attention to Sirius.
"There was an attack," Dumbledore spoke, his voice soft yet strong.
"What else is new?" Sirius interrupted, his tone bitter and tense.
"On Merrick McKinnon's home," Dumbledore whispered. "I'm sorry, Sirius, but there were no survivors."
James froze, barely registering the sharp howling sob that escaped Lily, as his breathing came out in harsh exhales. He managed to look over at Sirius to see him sheet white, standing stiff, his jaw clenched as Lily buried herself into Sirius' side.
"Are you sure?" James pressed, his voice hoarse, his eyes never leaving Sirius' face. "It was a dinner party. Maybe some had already gone home for the evening."
"Marlene's wand was found snapped in the study," Dumbledore explained. "Her blood was everywhere. The Aurors were not able to recover her body but half of the manor burned down before the broom brigade arrived. Her body most likely burned."
James tightened his grip on Harry, his hand carding through the soft baby hair. Time seemed to slow as James couldn't quite believe what he had just heard.
No survivors.
That didn't seem right. Marlene's father and brother were Aurors. They were highly trained and could duel better than James ever would be able to. Marlene had trained hard with Sirius over the past couple of years, the two joining a dueling club and attempting to hone their skills. Had they just been ambushed? How many Death Eaters had turned up at the home? Why had they set fire to the house? The questions were rampant and never-ending in James' mind.
"I need to leave," Sirius said in a thick voice as he tried to untangle himself from Lily's death grip.
"The Aurors are there now," Dumbledore supplied. "Alastor said there is something he wants you to see."
Sirius let out a small humorless chuckle. "Something he wants me to see? I don't want to bloody go there!"
Dumbledore sighed. "Once the Aurors finish up their investigation, I would like the Order to walk through. Alastor has granted permission. You knew the family very well, Sirius. Your insights could be helpful."
"Helpful for what?" Sirius snapped. "They're fucking dead and we know who did it."
Dumbledore's brows lowered on his face. "I know this must be hard for you, Sirius."
"Don't patronize me," Sirius interrupted.
"I'll go with Sirius," James volunteered.
"Now is not the time to come out of hiding, James," Dumbledore said in a gentle voice. "I already have a team of Order of the Phoenix members going with us to the McKinnons."
"There's nothing I can offer you that an Auror can't," Sirius bit back. "I have no interest in going to that house."
"Sirius, there is evidence in that house that may point to the spy within the Order of the Phoenix," Dumbledore argued, his voice slightly harsher than it had been before. "Alastor said there's a specific piece of evidence he wants you to see."
"Then I'll go into the Auror Department tomorrow to see it," Sirius snapped back.
"Alas, Alastor and I must insist."
James didn't like the sound of that. James looked between Dumbledore and Sirius, some sort of silent battle happening between the two. It wasn't any secret that Sirius wasn't enthralled with the way Dumbledore ran the Order and he had a lot of opinions of everything Dumbledore did wrong. Except this was a power struggle that James had never seen between them before. He couldn't help but be curious when exactly it had started.
"I need to go. I need to head home," Sirius said in a rush, his hand carding through his dark hair and it fell into place with a natural ease that James would never be able to accomplish.
"Sirius, stay," Lily murmured, her voice strained and awful sounding. "Please. We're family. We need to be together right now."
Sirius refused to look at her. "I can't."
"I'll have Gideon pick you up at your home then," Dumbledore concluded. "When we are ready."
"Right," Sirius bit out as he blew past them towards the door.
"Sirius!" James shouted, causing Harry to stir in his arms.
James darted off after Sirius as he cradled Harry close to his chest. The little boy groaned and whimpered, his fist rubbing his eye. Rounding the corner into the entryway, James watched as Sirius wretched open the front door.
"Sirius, mate, come on!" James tried again.
Except Sirius disappeared through the front door. Without thinking, James followed him and stepped outside into the warm July air. He made his way up the sidewalk as he focused his eyes on the back of Sirius' head.
"Sirius!"
Sirius wheeled around, tears burning in his eyes but not following down his cheeks. "What the fuck are you doing, James? Harry can't be seen!"
James froze in his spot. He took a step back, his eyes darting around the normally sleepy town. They were both still within the wards and unable to be seen unless someone knew what they were looking for. Harry whimpered louder in his arms, his body twisting as he tried to get down but James held him in a vice grip.
"You can't leave," James insisted.
Sirius' eyes flickered to Harry. "I need to be alone."
"Sirius, don't do this. Don't shut me out," James pleaded, desperation clear in his throat. "I can't imagine what you're going through. Even the very thought of it makes me want to die."
That was the truth. He tried to picture Lily dead, and he couldn't do it. In all honestly, he wouldn't want to live without her. He knew he'd have to try for Harry's sake, but there would be no way he would ever be truly happy ever again without Lily by his side.
Sirius didn't allow himself to open up or love just anyone. He certainly didn't allow just anyone to show him a speck of love. Sirius had opened up more to Marlene than James ever thought was possible for him. It made James want to throw something, to see his best mate hurting and not being able to do anything about it.
"I just need to be alone, James," Sirius said in an even tone.
"Sssss! Sssss!" Harry cried, big crocodile tears spilling down his face.
A lump formed in James' throat. "Lily is right. We're family, Padfoot."
Sirius closed the gap between them and James sighed in relief. It wouldn't be good for Sirius to be left to his own devices. James was convinced that he would do something completely mental if he were to be left alone. Sirius leaned forward and pressed a kiss on top of Harry's messy hair.
"Hey, no tears," Sirius whispered as he brushed his thumb under Harry's eyes. "I'll see you later, all right? You go to bed nice for your dad."
"Sirius…" James trailed off, his heart dropping to his stomach.
Harry sniffed as he looked up at Sirius, a string of nonsensical babbles escaping his lips.
"I'll be all right, James," Sirius whispered, refusing to meet James' eyes.
James weighed his options in his head and realized that he didn't really care about making Sirius angry in that moment. "Don't do anything stupid."
That garnered Sirius' attention. His head snapped up, a scowl crossing Sirius' features. James didn't really care in that moment, if it meant that Sirius would keep his head and stay alive.
"Marlene wouldn't want you doing something stupid," James continued in a rush. "She'd want you to live and be happy. I know it seems impossible now, but you need to figure out how to live without her. You have so many people who care for you and who need you, Sirius. Please, don't forget that."
"I just want to go home and be alone," Sirius whispered. "I'll stop by tomorrow."
James blinked, not completely satisfied. They had a guest bedroom. It would ease James' anxieties if Sirius would just crash with them for the night. Sirius was impulsive and more often than not was unnecessarily rash. James dreaded to think what Sirius may do. But no amount of arguing would change Sirius' mind, and it would only make him withdraw more.
"I'll have my mirror on me," James said instead. "Please, Pads, use it. I never have a problem calling you in the dead of night."
"Trust me, I know," Sirius replied before leaning down to give Harry one last kiss on the forehead. "Get inside, James."
"We're in the wards," James explained. "We're fine."
Without another word, Sirius pulled away and walked away. James watched as he opened the gate and stepped out into the street where James couldn't follow. Harry turned towards James, his spit-covered fingers poking his cheek.
"Dada. Dadaaaaada," Harry babbled.
"Come on, mate, let's go inside," James whispered as he hiked Harry up further on his side.
Before Dumbledore left, he insisted on strengthening the wards around the Potter's home. James rushed through Harry's bedtime routine since he could hear Lily crying softly from their bedroom. Pressing his wand to the light on Harry's dresser, Snitches and Quaffles danced along the walls and ceiling. Harry kicked his legs before rolling onto his belly to find a comfortable position.
Closing the door softly to the nursery, James cast the monitoring charm before he made his way towards his bedroom. He told himself that he had to be the strong one and not let his depression due to the isolation overtake him any longer. Lily needed him to be his normal happy self. She didn't need the depressive mess he had found himself being the past couple of months.
Their bedroom door was open. James stood in the doorway for a few moments to see Lily curled on her side, sobbing. His heart twisted painfully as he made his way into the room and crawled into bed behind Lily. Immediately, she scooted back to press her back to his chest, her hand fumbling to grip his. James pressed a kiss onto her shoulder.
"James…" Lily whispered, her voice sounding so sad that it nearly broke James in two.
"I know," James murmured against her shoulder. "It's impossible to think that Marlene is gone."
Lily sniffed. "I'm so worried about Sirius."
"Me too," James admitted.
"The way he ran out of here… Merlin, James, we have to do something. Marlene wouldn't want him throwing his life away," Lily said in a miserable voice as she turned around to face him. "Marlene… I can't… she was my best friend."
"I know," James replied lamely as he pushed down his own sadness. "We'll get through this together, yeah? We'll keep a close eye on Sirius."
Lily screwed her eyes shut. "Can you contact Peter? Have him check on him?"
James nodded as he leaned forward and kissed Lily's cheek, tasting the saltiness from her tears on his lips. Even when she was beyond devasted and upset, she was thinking about others. That was what James loved most about her. Lily had the biggest heart of anyone he had ever met.
"I will in a bit," James promised.
Lily opened her eyes and looked at him. "I love you, James."
James' throat clogged. "I love you too, Lily."
Lily snuggled against his chest, her shoulders trembling as soft sobs escaped her lips. James tightened his grip around her and just held her for the next hour as she cried her heart out. When she eventually fell asleep in his arms due to exhaustion, James stared at the ceiling and vowed he would make Voldemort pay.
When Sirius arrived home, he decided he didn't actually want to be there. Marlene was everywhere. She was on the sofa with the throw pillows and fuzzy blanket she bought for them to cuddle under while listening to the wireless. She was in the pictures that filled the house because Marlene thought a house wasn't a home unless it was littered with memories. She was on the walls with the artwork she had picked out. She was on the floors with the rugs she had bought. She was on the end tables with her tea mug smeared with red lipstick. She was across the chair with her jumper strewn across the back of it.
Sirius' vision became blurry as he stepped into the parlor, his heart hammering so harshly in his chest that he felt it in his ears. His fingers traced along the top of a vase that Marlene's aunt had bought them as a housewarming gift. All Sirius could think was that this was no longer his home but just a house. His home had been been wherever Marlene had been. She calmed him, she made him happy, she handled all of his emotional baggage without batting an eyelid. Now she was gone.
His fingers coiled around the vase. Without thinking, he hurled it across the room and watched as it shattered against the opposite wall. A scream left his lips, loud and deafening. He grabbed the crystal ashtray and threw that against the wall as well. He cleared the coffee table of its books and magazines by kicking it over. He ripped the throw pillows in half. He destroyed it all, everything that even had a hint of Marlene attached to it. He couldn't take it, didn't want to see it.
Sirius collapsed onto the floor, his chest heaving as he finally let the tears spill down his face. A large part of him didn't want to be alive in a world where she wasn't. Gripping his hair tightly in his hands, he tried to regulate his breathing. He should have been at the McKinnons' house. He should have fought and protected her. Instead, he had survived. He hadn't been there. Sirius couldn't help but wish he had been the one to die and not Marlene.
He pictured Harry and solely Harry. The little boy was honestly the only thing that kept him sane. Sirius vowed in that moment that protecting Harry would be his main goal in life. His godson was the only person who mattered. He couldn't sit back and let Harry die in the same way he had let Marlene die.
When Gideon showed up to his home, Sirius didn't speak or acknowledge his condolences. He had run out of tears hours ago and had already started to build the walls around himself to keep his emotions in check. He obediently followed him to an Apparition point and didn't complain when Gideon grabbed his arm to side-Apparate him to Manchester.
The last thing Sirius wanted to do was to sift through Marlene's personal effects in the dead of night when the crime scene hadn't even been cleaned up yet. Except an entire slew of Order of the Phoenix members stood outside of the house that was half burned to the ground. Bile rose in his throat as Alastor dismantled the wards around the manor so the rest of the Ministry wouldn't be alerted to their arrival. Sirius chewed on his bottom lip as Peter shifted next to him. When the wards dropped, Dumbledore led the small group inside.
Red splashed the walls, the carpet, and even the ceiling. Outlines of bodies drawn from the tip of a wand covered the floor. There were so many fucking outlines that Sirius couldn't look anywhere without seeing one.
Sirius didn't know where to start. It seemed sort of fruitless to look for evidence on which Death Eaters committed the crimes. Who gave a flying fuck at this point? They were all evil little shits. Sirius didn't exactly know what Dumbledore hoped to gain from this little illegal search or exactly what Alastor wanted to show Sirius.
"We need to move quickly," Dumbledore said in a calm voice. "We have perhaps an hour before the Aurors realize that the wards have failed around the house."
Crime scene.
That's what Dumbledore should have said. Called a spade a spade. It wasn't a house anymore, not when all of the family members had been tortured and killed.
Sirius took a step forward, memories flooding him. He had been to Marlene's parents' home many times in the last two years. He had spent holidays with them, attended Sunday brunches nearly every week, and he could remember opening a ring box with a large emerald-cut diamond to show her parents with the unasked question of permission hanging between them. Now the ring sat abandoned in his sock drawer to never see the light of day again.
"Black!" a gruff voice called.
Sirius turned to his right, trying to figure where the voice had called him from. He made his way down the hall to where the study was located in the back of the house. Photos covered the walls from their various family events. Pictures of Marlene, her brother, their parents, their aunts and uncles, their cousins, their grandparents, and so many more. Several pictures had crashed to the floor and sat surrounded in a pool of blood. Another white outline was glowing on the opposite side of the room. Fresh bile rose in Sirius' throat when he noticed Marlene's snapped wand by the desk.
Alastor nodded down towards the pictures. "I wanted to ask you about this. Seems like a good time."
Sirius peered down at the photos and immediately caught sight of one in particular. He winced when he saw himself staring back at him, his arm slung around Marlene with a cocky grin splattered across his face. Next to Sirius stood James, Lily, and Dorcas. Next to Marlene stood Remus, Peter, and finally Mary. A lump lodged itself into his throat as he crouched down to see the blood on the glass. Someone had drawn a ring of blood around Peter and Remus. Underneath it, in shaky letters was the word backstabber. Or at least what Sirius suspected it said. After the letter S, the writing went downhill as though the effort to write a word while dying had become too much.
"It's Pettigrew and Lupin," Alastor whispered, his voice low as he looked beyond Sirius at the doorframe.
Sirius looked to his left to see Peter lingering in the doorway looking pale.
"Move along, Pettigrew! Check out the upstairs!" Alastor huffed.
Sirius turned back to the photo, trying to determine why the circle encased both Remus and Peter. Perhaps it was a mistake or she was too weak to concentrate. Sirius let out a shaky breath as he stood up to his full height, his voice gone as an odd ringing sounded in his ears. Marlene had taken her last breath pointing out the traitor. Sirius had never been surer of anything in his life. Remus was the traitor.
"Black," Alastor pressed.
"Remus," Sirius croaked out.
"What about Lupin?"
Sirius blinked, his body trembling. "He's the backstabber."
Alastor chuckled. "Yeah?"
Sirius snapped his attention up, his lips curling back into a sneer. "This isn't funny."
"I never stated it was," Alastor replied. "You zero in on Lupin without hesitation when all we have is a dying woman trying to tell us something with her last breath."
Sirius' brow furrowed. "The circle is around Remus and Peter."
"I'm guessing accuracy wasn't her strong suit in her last moments," Alastor replied in a dry tone. "Where were you last night, Sirius?"
A shift kick in the gut hit him unexpectedly, his entire body filling with pressure. Is that what this was? Dumbledore and Alastor wanted a confession from him? Dumbledore knew he was at the Potters. He had been there the entire evening. They think he killed them? All of them? Or at least had been involved with a gang of fucking Death Eaters?
"I wasn't here," Sirius replied through gritted teeth. "I was minding Harry. I was with my godson the entire evening."
Alastor nodded. "Big family gathering and you didn't come with her? You two were dating, weren't you?"
Sirius sneered. "I had promised to watch Harry long before this dinner was planned."
"Have you spoken with your family lately?" Alastor continued.
"Fuck you," Sirius hissed, his body quaking as he took a step back.
"The Blacks are naturally gifted Legilimens," Alastor explained. "I've heard Bellatrix Lestrange is exceedingly good at reading minds. It's why she's one of Voldemort's top followers. She can sniff out the traitors."
Sirius' lips twitched. "Yeah, well, enough inbreeding and I suppose you can foster special little gifts. Never had the knack for it myself. I think I got the short broomstick."
Alastor raised his chin. "Perhaps not, but I heard you are exceedingly accomplished in the art of Occlumency."
Sirius stilled, his heart hammering in his chest. "I wouldn't say I'm accomplished."
"Practice Occlumency often?" Alastor asked, his eyebrows rising.
Only his entire fucking childhood, but somehow Sirius didn't think that was the answer Alastor wanted to hear. It had come naturally to him to block his thoughts when his parents were interrogating him. He could remember his body going numb, his mind a tight vault, as his mother screamed at Bellatrix to push harder to find out what he was hiding. It unnerved Walburga to no end not to hear her eldest son's thoughts. But in a family that's naturally gifted in breaking minds and blocking thoughts, what more did she expect?
"No," Sirius replied. "It just happens."
Alastor nodded. "It just happens. Seems like a lot of people in the Order seem to be naturally gifted in Occlumency."
Sirius sneered. "Yet, I'm the only one you're interrogating and my face isn't the one fucking circled in blood."
Alastor leaned forward. "It might be advantageous of you to drop your walls once in a while."
Sirius let out a chuckle. "I've done nothing but fight for the right fucking thing since I can remember. I ran away from home at sixteen. I've denounced my family more times than I can count. I've separated myself from them to the point where I've been cut out of a sizable fortune. But since my last name is Black, none of that matters. A name speaks louder than actions, I suppose."
"There's a traitor in the Order, Black. Nobody is ruled out," Alastor explained.
Sirius nodded curtly. "Are we done here?"
Except Sirius didn't wait for a reply. He turned on his heals and marched out of the study because he could no longer stand being accused of selling out Marlene and her entire family just because his last name was Black. He brushed past a white Peter in the hallway as he made his way towards the front door. Fabian called out his name, but Sirius ignored him too. He had no interest in talking or being interrogated any longer.
Fuck them all. He was done.
Instead of going back to the cottage that he and Marlene had shared, Sirius paid for a room at a Muggle hotel in London so that nobody could find him. He collapsed onto the bed and stared at the ceiling knowing that he wouldn't be sleeping much the next few days. Sirius had a problem shutting off his brain and it was worse than ever. Without thinking much of it, Sirius transformed into Padfoot and curled up against the pillows with his head in his paws. He silently plotted his revenge against Voldemort and his fucking band of reject Death Eaters.
I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter! Don't forgot to drop a review. It takes hours upon hours of planning and writing to get a chapter ready to post. It only takes an extra minute to drop a review. They inspire me and motivate me.
Special thanks to Bell for editing and her add-ons!