This wasn't supposed to happen. That thing, Wen Ning, wasn't supposed to fight and distract Song Lan from helping him. Lan Wangji wasn't supposed to take the soul trapping pouch. That bitch A-Qing wasn't supposed to help the enemy to fight him in the dense fog. Wei-qianbei was supposed to fix Daozhang Xingchen.
Instead, he ended up with Bichen piercing through his chest, causing him to cough up blood. He ignored the pain, this was nothing.
"Give me it!" Xue Yang shouted, wanting Xiao Xingchen's soul back, but it sounded desperate and pleading to his own ears.
He extended his arms vaguely in the direction of Lan Wangji. He felt wobbly on his legs, and his sight began to blur slightly. But as soon as he did, Bichen slashed through the air again, this time taking his left arm. His left arm. Huh. The last piece of candy was in that hand.
His legs gave out under him, and he found himself on his knees unable to get up again. He was losing so much blood. He was probably going to die now.
No, I don't want to die. Xue Yang thought desperately. Sadly. He felt his eyes tear up slightly.
He heard footsteps of someone approaching. It was probably Wei Wuxian. He didn't want Wei-qianbei to taunt him right before his death, to gloat over all of Xue Yang's failures. Soon it wouldn't matter, he supposed. He closed his eyes and prepared himself for Wei Wuxian to make a mockery of his final moments-
-when suddenly someone darted through the fog and grabbed him. Xue Yang hardly opened his eyes to see the blue glow of the teleportation talisman spiriting them far away from the fog, Yi City, Lan Wangji, Wei-qianbei, Song Lan, and Xiao Xingchen.
For a moment all he saw was blue, and he felt unknown forces pull him through time and place making his stomach lurch. The only thing keeping him grounded was the tight grip that the unknown cultivator had on him. Before he could blink, Xue Yang and the cultivator found themselves in a dimly lit room. He found himself kneeling on the wooden floor. The entire room was spinning.
"Young Master Xue, it is good to see you again" a familiar voice said.
Someone stood before him, and with some effort Xue Yang looked up to see who it is.
"Jin GuanYao."
The man in question gave him one of the fake smiles that Xue Yang had seen him give to so many before. It was one of those slimy smiles that would make Xue Yang gag and laugh. Xue Yang felt like laughing now, feeling like the smile was an inside joke of sorts, but instead he just coughed violently, splatting blood on the floor.
"Oh my, you don't look so good." Jin Guangyao said with mock concern. "What happened?" He asked in a more serious tone, directed at the unknown cultivator who had teleported him.
The cultivator lowered the mask and hood and revealed himself to be Su She, Jin Guangyao's most loyal servant. Of course, who else?
"He was attacked by Huanguan-Jun and the Yiling Patriarch. I almost didn't get to him in time."
"Well done. Does he have the Stygian Tiger Seal?"
"Let me check." Su She lowered himself to his knees and began to search Xue Yang for the Seal.
Xue Yang couldn't do anything other than staring at Jin Guangyao, vision getting blurrier. "Jin Guangyao" he said in a thin voice. The adrenalin from the battle was wearing off, and suddenly the pain from stab wound in his chest and the missing arm was beginning to set in. Xue Yang winced.
It didn't take long for Su She to find what he was looking for. "The Stygian Tiger Seal is here. It was in his qiankun pouch" he said as he stood up.
"Good. Dispose of Young Master Xue when he has expired." Jin Guangyao said and made to leave. But before he could go anywhere, Xue Yang grabbed the hem of his front robes.
"Please-" Xue Yang pleaded, but didn't know for what. "-please." He sounded absolutely pitiful.
"My apologies, Young Master Xue, but I don't know what you expect me to do."
Xue Yang couldn't answer the question, he simply tugged at Jin Guangyao's robe, wanted to pull him down. Jin Guangyao gave him an indulgent smile and humored him by kneeling down in front of him, getting to Xue Yang's eye level.
"You must know that I can't help you, Young Master Xue, it would be highly suspicious if it was discovered that the Lanlin Jin sect helped someone like yourself."
"I know" Xue Yang replied. "Just. I don't want to be alone. Please?" Xue Yang choked out the last word in a broken sob, a last miserable plea for his former friend, if not the only friend he had ever had. "Please, please stay." Xue Yang pressed his forehead against Jin Guangyao's shoulder. He felt the tears streaming down his face, obscuring his vision further.
Jin Guangyao sighed deeply. "Your blood is going to stain my clothes, you know."
Xue Yang's snorted amidst the sobs. "Are you really going to miss a few coins for buying a new robe?"
Jin Guangyao chuckled amused. "No, of course not."
Jin Guangyao gently put a hand behind his head and the other on Xue Yang's shoulder. It felt comforting. Xue Yang begin feeling cold as more blood left his body, and he couldn't suppress any shivers. He could practically feel the life leaving his body. He began trembling, and not only from the cold.
"I'm scared" He cried feebly. He knew he should feel ashamed for blatantly admitting something so craven, but he couldn't get himself to care. He sobbed into Jin Guangyao's shoulder. "I don't want to die. I'm scared."
"Are you now, after you have killed so many?" Jin Guangyao said.
"It's different when it's you who's dying" Xue Yang sniffed petulantly.
"I suppose that is true" Jin Guangyao chuckled once again. "I have missed talking to you, you were always so amusing."
"You tried to have me assassinated" Xue Yang accused into Jin Guangyao's shoulder.
"Please don't try to take it personally Young Master Xue, you know how it is."
"I know" Xue Yang replied. "It still sucked ass though." Xue Yang's speech became slurred. His head was getting foggy, and Jin Guangyao's words began to fade farther and farther away. This was probably the last exchange of witty remarks he was going to have. Distantly he heard Jin Guangyao laugh more earnestly. He something else, but Xue Yang couldn't make out the words anymore.
Xue Yang felt Jin Guangyao push him away so they could regard each other. Xue Yang couldn't make out his expression as his vision had gone too blurry from tears and generally dying. Faintly he recognized that Jin Guangyao sighed deeply and gave some command to Su She. It sounded important. That was the last thing Xue Yang saw and heard before everything went black.
Xue Yang felt heavy, and his head swam as if he was incredibly drunk. He groggily opened his eyes to look up at a wooden ceiling. He absently noted that it was daytime as the room was lit up of the warm glow of the sun through the window. He tried to sit up, but his body just wouldn't obey him, it was as if someone had placed a heavy rock on his chest. Something felt odd with his hands, and with some effort and struggling he lifted his arms to have a look. His left hand was missing. That was weird.
He regarded the missing limb for a moment. It was missing from below the elbow, and underneath the bandages there would be nothing but a stump. Xue Yang lowered his arms again and pondered, but it was hard as his head felt sluggish.
He felt like there was something amiss that he should be remembering, but it was like his brain was fifteen li behind current events. There was something important, he was sure.
Then he remembered. He was supposed to be dead.
Just when he was getting his wits about him, a middle-aged man entered the room.
"Oh, you're awake" he said. Xue Yang couldn't tell if he was either surprised or was just making a statement. "Inform Jin Guangyao" the man told someone on the other side of the door that Xue Yang couldn't see.
The man approached him, and Xue Yang had the feeling that he should be wary in his vulnerable state, but he just didn't have the energy. The man began checking the bandages on his stump and chest. He was most likely a doctor.
"You're lucky. We weren't sure whether you were going to pull through or not." The doctor said.
Xue Yang blinked before he could answer. He didn't remember passing out or falling asleep, but that's what must have happened, as the doctor was now gone. The room was suddenly completely empty. He blinked again, and the doctor was there, checking on his stump. Xue Yang blinked once again and this time he actually had the distinct feeling that time had passed.
When he opened his eyes for a final time the doctor had been replaced with someone in much finer clothing.
"Jin Guangyao" Xue Yang said with a raspy voice, his throat was completely dry. It felt like there was cotton in his head.
From a pitcher on a nightstand Jin Guangyao poured water into a cup and brought it to Xue Yang. "I am surprised that you survived Young Master Xue. But perhaps I shouldn't be, you were always a bit of a cockroach."
Xue Yang began to laugh weakly, but it hurt his chest. Jin Guangyao put a hand behind his neck to tilt up his head and put the cup to his lips. Xue Yang eagerly drank the contents of the cup, some of the water spilling down chin. Jin Guangyao gently let his head down again before going back to the pitcher to refill the cup.
Some of the cotton cleared from his head and his mind sharpened. He regarded Jin Guangyao in wariness and suspicion. A tightness formed in his chest.
"You let me live." It was posed as a statement, but it was really a question.
"Yes." Jin Guangyao answered as he tilted Xue Yang's head once again.
While he gulped down the water, Xue Yang stared intensely at Jin Guangyao, seeking an answer. Jin Guangyao didn't say anything.
"What do you want me to do?" Xue Yang asked once the cup was finished. "What job do you have for me?"
Jin Guangyao just stared back at him for a moment, before he looked away. Xue Yang wasn't quite sure how to interpret the expression on his face. Even though it had been ten years, he fairly confident that he could still tell whether Jin Guangyao's fake smile meant that he was barely holding his anger and indignation in check, or whether he was annoyed, exasperated, or bored. This expression was wasn't one he was familiar with.
"There is no job, and there is no favor you can do for me" he finally answered.
That took Xue Yang by surprise. "What do you mean?
"Exactly as I said" Jin Guangyao gave him a small, yet earnest smile. He put the cup back on the nightstand before returning to Xue Yang's bedside to sit down.
"You can't mean that you let me live for no reason at all." Xue Yang said accusingly. Jin Guangyao never did something unless it benefitted him somehow, though Xue Yang couldn't figure out what it was.
"That's what I'm saying, actually." Jin Guangyao answered, almost sheepishly.
Xue Yang just lied there dumbfounded, trying to trace some sort of lie or trick on Jin Guangyao's face, but he didn't find anything. This made no sense at all.
Xue Yang just lied there and studied Jin Guangyao, although his vision wasn't as sharp as it usually was. He racked his brain for some leverage that Jin Guangyao achieved from letting him live. After having something to drink and with the help of his golden core, Xue Yang found that some energy returned to him and his mind cleared up.
"You got the Stygian Tiger Seal. There is nothing I can do for you anymore. Shit, it would even be better for you if I died. Imagine the fucking uproar if people discovered that I'm alive and was saved by the guy who was supposed to execute me."
"Oh. I haven't thought of that" Jin Guangyao said with barely concealed humor in his voice. "Should I just slit your throat now then?"
"No, I mean, I'm happy as fuck that I'm alive and all that, but I just don't get it, you know? Shit! This is beginning to hurt." Xue Yang motioned to the bandaged chest wound and stump with his right hand.
"Hmm. The drugs are beginning to wear off. I'll tell Yishen Haoyu to give you another dose when I leave."
Xue Yang settled back into the pillows, eyes never leaving Jin Guangyao. "What's going to happen next, what will you do to me once I've healed? Don't tell me that I'm going to rot in a cell somewhere. If that's the case, then I'd rather just die now."
Jin Guangyao chuckled. "Really? After the pitiful performance you gave me when you got here? I thought you had suddenly become scared of dying."
"Hrmph. Oh, shut up. It's just that I didn't want to die before I brought Daozhang back."
Jin Guangyao tilted his head slightly. The smile faded away and got replaced with a frown instead. "The moment you can walk I'll let you leave. Be grateful for the bed I've afforded you for now, in a couple days you'll be on your own."
"Let me leave" Xue Yang echoed. Jin Guangyao just kept surprising him. "Why?"
"Call me a sentimental fool." Jin Guangyao said with a sigh. "Seeing you again reminded me of how much I missed your company. Vulgar and crude as you are... On a whim I just didn't have the heart to let you die. Yet, having you here is a risk to me, so you'll be shown out when you have healed enough."
Xue Yang could hardly believe what he was hearing. He was barely aware that his mouth was hanging open. The tightness that had formed in his chest earlier turned into something else, and it wasn't just from the chest wound that the bastard Hanguang-Jun had provided. He didn't know how to respond to that, so he didn't.
Jin Guangyao broke the silence. "So, how did you survive my assassination attempt? For years I was quite certain that you were dead. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that you have been alive and well for years."
Xue Yang recognized that Jin Guangyao was changing the topic, and he let him.
"You have no shame, do you?" Xue Yang said with a smile. "I have to admit, you came just as close do to me in as Hanguang-Jun did. I would have died in some ditch if Daozhang Xingchen hadn't found me and patched me up."
"Hmmm?" Jin Guangyao replied enquiringly. "Daozhang Xiao Xingchen found you? How come he didn't turn you in immediately after finding me?"
"Hah!" Xue Yang began to laugh, but a sharp pain in his chest kept his amusement in check. "You heard what I did to Daozhang Song's eyes right? And what that Xingchen did to save Song Lan's eyes? That idiot Daozhang had no idea it was me in all those years we lived together. It was fucking funny!"
Jin Guangyao seemed amused as well, and he sat there and listened interested and attentively as Xue Yang spoke of the years he spent with Daozhang Xiao Xingchen and A-Qing. How he had tricked the daoshi, his feud with A-Qing and how they had both been suspicious of each other throughout the years living together, the 'fierce corpses' that Xingchen had killed, who had actually been people from Yi City who had mocked the trio when they had gone to town for shopping.
It was nice. Just them talking like this. Talking freely to each other as friends as they had done so many years ago. Both knew that the other was a terrible person, what atrocities the other had done. Xue Yang didn't know how much he had missed talking with someone without pretense, knowing that he wouldn't be cursed out or sneered at.
It was nice to talk about the hidden life he had lived with A-Qing and Daozhang. He told him about the time right after he was healed enough to accompany Daozhang and A-Qing to town, though he was limping heavily from his injuries. He told Jin Guangyao about how some of those idiot townspeople had mocked and sniggered at the trio for being cripples. It made Xue Yang exceedingly satisfied to recall how their malicious grinning and turned into terrified screams as he had pulled out his sword, Jiangzai. Remembering how he had cut out their tongues and covered them with corpse powder still filled him with glee. The best part was tricking Daozhang Xingchen into killing them, believing them to be nothing more than fierce corpses, while they had screamed in utmost terror, most likely trying to plead for their lives but couldn't.
The cherry on top was that Xue Yang had kept their tongues and used them to brew tea. Seeing Daozhang drinking the tea and telling Xue Yang with a grimace that it tasted nice was one of his happier and comforting memories. Jin Guangyao didn't seem as thrilled at this part of the story and he looked rather pale instead, which made Xue Yang chuckle.
Jin Guangyao produced a fan from his sleeve and began to fan himself, probably to try to get rid of nausea.
"What happened then?" Jin Guangyao asked. "Did Daozhang Xiao Xingchen ever find out?"
Xue Yang stopped smiling. This was the less fun part. He solemnly told Jin Guangyao about how Daozhang Song Lan had found them, and how he had attacked Xue Yang while he was on his way home from shopping groceries. It had been fun at first; fighting Song Lan, teasing him about Daozhang Xingchen, and tricking him to lower his guard so Xue Yang could cut out his tongue and cover him with corpse powder. This was just in the nick of time before Daozhang Xingchen found them and mistaked his beloved cultivation partner for another fierce corpse. Seeing Daozhang Xingchen kill his own friend had been delicious. Pride filled Xue Yang's chest of the memory when he had converted Song Lan into the perfect fierce corpse. One that would even surpass the Yiling Patriarch's little Wen-pet.
"Of course, that's when everything went to shit." Xue Yang said. "Little Blind had somehow found out about everything. I bet that bitch had talked to Daozhang Song Lan before he attacked me and warned Daozhang Xingchen. Because, the next day Daozhang confronted me, jabbing Shuanghua into my fucking guts." Xue Yang paused. Feeling anger and something else welled in him. He definitely didn't feel sad about it. "Whatever, he found out. He found out about the fierce corpses, and then he found out about Song Lan. Then the idiot went ahead and cut his own throat."
Jin Guangyao waited for Xue Yang to continue, but it was clear that Xue Yang was done talking.
"That was what you wanted, wasn't it?" Jin Guangyao asked. "For Daozhang Xiao Xingchen's spirit to be crushed."
Xue Yang pursed his lips. He felt a headache coming on. "I guess that's what I wanted in the beginning" he said hesitantly. "I don't know. I never really planned anything out, I guess. After I had made Song Lan into a fierce corpse, I just... I just wanted to continue living with Daozhang and Little Blind." Xue Yang had known for a while that's what he really wanted. He had had a lot of time in the past few years to reflect over his life with A-Qing and Daozhang Xingchen. How he had wished that they could just go back to what they were. It was funny living with them. And it was nice.
Remembering Daozhang Xingchen's suicide filled him with rage. "That idiot Daozhang Xingchen just upped an left me. He wouldn't even stay alive to protect Little Blind. If he were there then that brat would still be alive. Shit, Yi City wouldn't have been a ghost town he hadn't been so pathetic."
"Oh, so it's Daozhang Xiao Xingchen's fault? I see." Jin Guangyao mused.
"Shut up." Xue Yang snapped.
Jin Guangyao just chuckled lightly behind his fan.
"Is that why you disguised yourself as Daozhang Xiao Xingchen and murdered the rest of the Yueyang Chang Clan and their leader Chang Ping. To punish Xingchen?"
"Yeah, I gave him all the chances to wake up and stop me, before I turned the rest of Yi City into living corpses, and before I sullied his name. Besides, that liar and coward Chang Ping deserved to die after he made Daozhang Xingchen lose face by clearing my name."
"Oh." Jin Guangyao said. Xue Yang had the distinct feeling that he was chuckling behind his fan. "Why kill the rest of the Yueyang Cang clan? They didn't do anything."
"Why do you even ask? You know me. Xue Yang doesn't even leave a dog behind when he's on the job. I always make sure to clean up completely."
"Oh right, I forgot."
Xue Yang was in a sour mood now, thinking about all the times he had pleaded for Daozhang Xingchen to wake up, to return to him. How was Xue Yang supposed to know that he was so weak and pathetic that he would break his own spirit? He definitely didn't want to talk about that anymore.
"Hey, remember that time we killed your father? With the prostitutes?"
Jin Guangyao's expression instantly lit up in amusement at the memory.
For at time the two of them just reminisced about the past. Before Xue Yang had successfully repaired the Stygian Tiger Seal, before Jin Guangyao had sent assassins after him. They reminisced about all the experiments they did, the pathetic cultivator's who had once insulted Jin Guangyao to his face, calling him a 'son of a prostitute', and how they had managed to take their sweet revenge afterwards. They reminisced about killing Nie Mingjue, and to Xue Yang's glee this spurred Jin Guangyao into a heated monologue about how that bastartd Nie Mingjue had treated him in the past and how he had deserved to die. It was funny.
It was nice to be in Jin Guangyao's company again. It was nice to talk to someone and not hide who he really was.
"How's your little crush on Zewu-jun going?" Xue Yang asked with a smirk once Jin Guangyao was done ranting about Nie Mingjue.
"I am perfectly sure that I don't know what you're talking about" Jin Guangyao replied averting his eyes, but Xue Yang could see that he was blushing slightly.
After that it was Jin Guangyao's turn to tell of the past years, what he had done as sect leader, and his progressing friendship with Lan Xichen. It was nice to hear about it.
But all good things must come to an end.
Jin Guangyao chuckled at something amusing and macabre that Xue Yang had just said, before shutting his fan shut.
"It was been very pleasant, Young Master Xue. But I'm afraid that I need to be elsewhere." he got up to leave.
"And..." Xue Yang began, Jin Guangyao turned around to regard him suspiciously. "You're really going to let me leave?"
"Yes. You have at most three days to heal."
Xue Yang chuckled. "Just three days? What's the point of saving my life if you're just going to kick me out the door to die from my injuries anyway?"
"Young Master Xue, I'm not worried at all. I am completely certain that you will find a way to survive." Jin Guangyao said with a smile that was not altogether kind. Though the smile disappeared. "I am afraid this is goodbye. Just sitting here with you has been a risk. One that I cannot afford to make again."
Xue Yang's mood turned solemn despite knowing this had been coming. "I guess this is it then."
"Yes... Farewell. Try not to die, friend."