Just as Jin Guangyao had promised, after three days had past Xue Yang was unceremoniously shoved out the door. He had to admit that he never really expected to actually be let out. Nevertheless, he had spent three days using his golden core to the limit to heal himself as much as possible on the off chance that Jin Guangyao actually made good on his word. Admittedly he had hardly spent any time healing his injures. Most of the time had been spent on fitful sleeping, and when he was awake, he was either in so much pain that he could hardly think, or Xue Yang had relented and let Yishen Yaoyu give him drugs to numb the pain which would in turn also make his mind go woozy.

The three days had gone by in a blur.

Su She was the one who had been tasked with the duty of bringing food and emptying out Xue Yang's piss pot. Jin Guangyao only wished for his most trusted servants to know of his existence. In the hours of lucidity Xue Yang had mocked Su She for doing such low tasks, but the man had frustratingly pretended that Xue Yang didn't exist at all. Xue Yang would have cursed or hurled something at Su She at the blatant disrespect, but he didn't have the mind or the energy to do much of anything.

It was also Su She who was tasked with seeing Xue Yang out the door. With the help of his golden core, Xue Yang had indeed healed at a faster rate than one who didn't have one even if just a little, but his chest wound was still tight and sore, and his stump was still painful to the touch. He was lucky that he could stay upright, if just barely.

"Don't draw attention to yourself." Su She said coldly. "Sect Leader Jin Guangyao has graciously let you live. The least you can do is not betray him and throw it back in his face."

Xue Yang sneered at Su She in return. "That fucker tried to have me killed ten years ago. Now that he has saved me from the brink of death, I'll consider us even."

Su She narrowed his eyes. "Just do as you're told."

"Yeah, whatever." Xue Yang said dismissively before turning to the streets. It was the middle of the night so no one would see him leaving. He heard the door closing behind him, leaving Xue Yang alone. He had nothing to his name as he was neither provided any drugs for the pain or any additional provisions for the path ahead.

"I am completely certain that you will find a way to survive" Xue Yang mocked exasperated, rolling his eyes. "Fuck you, Jin Guangyao. How am I supposed to survive like this?"

He began walking slowly and painfully through the quiet streets, illuminated by the soft glow of the moon and the lanterns. The moon, tch, it fucking annoyed Xue Yang right now. It reminded him of Daozhang Xingchen.

Shit.

He had no idea what had happened to Daozhang after his encounter with Hanguang-Jun and the Yiling Patriarch. These were his first moments of lucidity after the three days, mostly because he had no other choice. Had they taken Xingchen with them? Had they burned his body? Had they just left him there. And what about Song Lan, had they destroyed Xue Yang's perfect fierce corpse? The thoughts filled Xue Yang with a sense of dread. All of his work for the past seven years could have gone up in smoke. He needed to return to Yi City.

He hadn't had much time to ponder these things the last three days. He had been sleeping for most of the time, and when he was awake, he was delirious, and when he wasn't delirious, he focused all of his qi on healing his injuries so he wouldn't just die immediately once he was thrown out.

Yishen Haoyu had shown him how to change his own bandages, so Xue Yang could do it himself once he was on his own. He had also been given a small iron pin that Xue Yang could use to secure the bandages with one hand as he was now incapable of tying knots. Otherwise, he had not been provided with any provisions other than the ones he had with him at the time of the teleportation. How was he supposed to change his bandages when he hadn't been given anything to change his wounds with?

He supposed he was lucky enough that Jin Guangyao had afforded him new clothes; a new inner robe, a dark grey sash, a black pair of pants, and black outer robes that were reminiscent of his preferred style. All made in silks. He guessed it was solely for pragmatic reasons rather than altruistic ones, as his old clothes were heavily stained in blood and would attract too much attention. He was allowed to keep his own boots as they had made it through without being soaked in blood. He was also allowed to keep his qiankun pouch with the few talismans he had on him when he was spirited away to Jinlintai. And in his qiankun pouch he also had his sword, Jiangzai. It was sheer luck that Su She had also managed to teleport the sword with him. Thank fuck.

Xue Yang had no money, no extra bandages, and nothing to eat or drink. He was a cripple, wounded, and in no small amount of pain. Jin Guangyao was right when he said that Xue Yang should appreciate the few days he was allowed to stay in bed. Now he needed to focus on his survival for the next couple of days, until he reached Yi City. And Daozhang Xingchen.

It was at this moment that his stump decided to act up. "Fuck!" Xue Yang muttered angrily. The pain shot up his arm from the tip of the stump all the way up his arm. Wonderful.

Attempting to ignore the pain, Xue Yang gritted his teeth and began slowly walking. His breathing may had stabilized the last couple of days, but he could feel that the slow pace of walking would soon leave him out of breath. His chest already hurt from the exertion.

He made it to a street with houses. Everything was quiet in the night. In one of the courtyards, he saw white linen sheets which had been hung out to dry. That was to his luck. He looked around him for guards and onlookers and found none. He walked over and snatched all the linens available and stuffed them in his qiankun pouch. They would make nice bandages for later. That was one problem taken care of.

He slowly made his way down the street towards the edge of the city. Soon he found himself panting for breath, and the wound in his chest began to pound with every heartbeat and his damned stump hurt like hell. He would soon need to rest. He looked around him. He didn't have any money, so he wouldn't be able to pay for a room somewhere. He figured that he would have to sleep outside in an alley somewhere. Just like old times. Xue Yang heaved deeply despite the pain and sighed. This was going to suck hard.

He walked for about an incense stick of time before he found a suitable alley that he could sleep in. The roof beside the building hung over the alley providing in the very least shelter for rain if it came to that. Xue Yang got himself into the alleyway, relieved to have found a spot to rest. By this time he had begun to sweat profusely, and he found it difficult to catch his breath.

With some effort he managed to lower himself into a sitting position with his back to the wall. He hissed in pain as a sharp pain shot through his chest, and he was careful not to use his left arm at all to lower himself in fear of accidentally aggravating the injury from the non-existent hand. When he was in a sitting position, he drew his legs up and clutched his stump protectively to his stomach and made a conscious effort not to rub it.

This was ridiculous, he had at most walked around three to four li, and he already needed to rest somewhere.

Progress was still progress, he supposed, no matter how insignificant it seemed. That was at least three to four li closer to Daozhang. And he didn't want to think about how many more li he had to travel to reach his destination. That was a problem for tomorrow's Xue Yang.

He regarded his missing left hand. During the three days he had thankfully not had much time to think about that he was a cripple now. One of those dirty people without arms or legs who walked the streets and debased themselves by begging for coins. Now he had become one of them. As he regarded his stump a myriad of emotions flashed within. Sadness, anger, humiliation, shame. Mourning.

He had cursed his fucking missing pinky finger on his left arm since he was seven, and now would never get to mock him anymore with how much it was missing. Xue Yang stifled an angry sob. He couldn't think of his missing hand right now. It had to be a problem for future Xue Yang.

He tilted his heads upward and watched the clear skies and the mocking moon. Daozhang Xingchen. A knot formed in his chest. He could probably make it back to Yi City and the coffin house, but what if Daozhang wasn't there? It was very likely that the Yiling Patriarch and Hanguang-jun had taken his body or buried it. Or burned it. Xue Yang decided not to think about that until he had actually reached his destination. One problem at a time. He needed to somehow survive the next couple of days and travel all the way from Jinlintai to Yi City without succumbing to his injuries. If Daozhang's body wasn't there when he returned, then he could take it from there. That was future Xue Yang's problem.

Fucking Wei-qianbei. This was all his fault. He should have simply fixed Daozhang Xingchen as Xue Yang had asked him to. Then all of this wouldn't have happened. Xue Yang grumbled to himself. He figured he could find a way to take his revenge in the future, but he found himself reluctant to do so. After all, if it wasn't for Wei-qianbei, then Xue Yang would never have reached the level of demonic cultivation that he had now, and he would never had gotten the opportunities in life with Jin Guangyao. No, Xue Yang decided that he respected the Yiling patriarch too much to attempt getting his revenge. Besides, Hanguang-jun seemed very fond of Wei Wuxian. If Hanguang-jun got sad, then Zewu-jun would become sad too, and Xue Yang didn't want to make Jin Guangyao's 'friend' miserable, after all.

Another thought occurred to Xue Yang. What had happened to Daozhang Song Lan? It was a possibility that Hanguang-jun and Wei-qianbei had eliminated his fierce corpse. Xue Yang gave it a thought. No, that didn't seem likely. Wei-qianbei had freed Wen Ning, which meant that he knew about the nails that Xue Yang had used to control fierce corpses. Undoubtedly, Wei-qianbei would simply remove the nails from Daozhang Song Lan's head, setting him free.

Shit. Again.

Xue Yang hadn't thought about that either. Once he returned to the coffin house, the fierce corpse would most likely be there to hang around Daozhang Xingchen's corpse. Or maybe Hanguang-jun and Wei-qianbei had allowed the fierce corpse to have Xingchen to do with what he pleased. Song Lan could have taken Daozhang Xingchen's body and begun travelling. Then it would be anyone's guess as to where they could be. No, Xue Yang needed to compartmentalize. One problem at a time.

Well shit, there were a lot of problems that needed to be addressed by future Xue Yang, weren't there? And he was in no position to take care of any of them.

He needed to find a way home first. He needed to rest.

Xue yang could figure these things out when he wasn't so damn tired. It didn't take long before exhaustion caught up with him. Before long he found himself nodding on the verge of sleep.

I need to go home.

"Hey, wake up! You can't sleep here you bum."

Someone was kicking Xue Yang awake. Groggily he opened his eyes and saw a man with an irritated expression looking down at him. Xue Yang sneered. This was exactly one of the people that Xue Yang fucking hated. People that thought they were better than him. He wished that he could simply take Jiangzai and pierce him through the skull. But just as he had the thought, a sharp pain shot through his chest that would make another man scream, but Xue Yang just suppressed it and gave the man above him a nasty, mocking smile. Killing someone wasn't an option right now. He was too weak and he couldn't afford bringing any attention to himself. He resigned himself to do nothing.

"Yeah-yeah, I'm getting up. Dickhead."

"Hmmph." The man simply crossed his arms and waited for Xue Yang to move, giving him a dirty look.

Xue Yang shot him a dirty look in return before slowly getting to his feet in a way that didn't upset his wounds any further and walking out of the alleyway, all the while the man just stood there at looked at him like a puppet.

Xue Yang hadn't gotten nearly enough sleep to be well rested and he could feel a headache coming on. Though he wasn't as exhausted as he had been during the night. The pain in his chest and stump were still there, but he ignored it as much as possible. Now he felt another kind of pain in his stomach, which decided to audibly growl at him. He needed to focus on his next problem. Food.

It was morning, and the streets was bustling with life. The shops were opening, and men and women were up and doing their daily tasks. His stomach gave Xue Yang another gurgle. There was really not any ignoring it. Xue Yang wasn't a stranger to starving, and he had been practicing inedia at a younger rate than the average cultivator.

But that wouldn't help his wounds healing. The wounds that could threaten to kill him if they didn't heal. Xue Yang was also painfully aware that he didn't have any money to buy food, and because of his injuries and because his head still felt sort of woozy, he didn't trust himself to be deft enough to be able to steal reliably without being caught. There was only one option that he could think of.

Xue Yang really hoped that he looked pitiful enough for his. He sucked in a deep breath, despite his chest wound, and exhaled. He put on his most pained expression, swallowed his pride, approached some of the citizens of Jinlintai, and extended his only hand, palm up.

"A couple of wen for the poor." Xue Yang begged with gritted teeth. The uncomfortable familiarity of the situation was so uncanny that a shiver ran down his spine.

No amount of pain could distract from the shame and humiliation of having to resort to begging. He felt his face and ears dangerously heat up and he hoped bitterly that he wasn't turning red. This was something he had hoped would never be necessary, again. Yet here he was, some twenty years later, once again a pathetic, filthy beggar on the streets asking for scraps. And worse, to be a cripple beggar at that.

For a brief moment Xue Yang debated with himself whether he should play up his missing hand for sympathy points, but he immediately squashed that feeling. He would not resort himself to become so base, so pathetic.

"A couple of wen for the poor!" Xue Yang said once again to no one in particular, blinking the wetness in the corner of his eyes away.

He tried to get eye contact with some of the citizens, but almost all of them averted their eyes and ignored him completely. A couple of others sneered at him in disgust instead before going their way. One man even spat on the ground in front of him. Xue Yang felt his anger flare dangerously but tried his damndest to get his breathing and temper under control. He knew how this worked. He knew what to expect when he was a beggar. Being treated like this was normal.

He continued begging for a while, trying to catch someone's attention, but most evaded him. Xue Yang tried to keep his anger in check as he knew an angry beggar was not at all likely to receive charity but rather be kicked down and beaten instead. That wouldn't be so difficult right now as his legs were already beginning to feel like lead. So, he took steadying breaths and looked as pitiful as possible, slumping his shoulders and had wide, open, pleading eyes, and a downturned lip. Just as when he was little. He continued like that for a while, unsuccessfully.

"Tch. Begging for money when wearing such nice and new-looking robes. The youth these days have no shame." An elderly man mumbled loudly to himself.

Xue Yang had been happy to receive new robes, but now he realized that they were probably made it impossible for him to get any coins. Shit. He needed some form of strategy.

This was when he got an idea to how to get money. The idea made him internally furious as he realized that he never needed to humiliate himself by begging. He felt his face heat up even more and he growled angrily at himself which made people around him avert their eyes from him and avoid him by walking around him in circles.

These robes were the solution to get fed today, but Xue Yang didn't like the idea. Beggars could not be choosers, he thought irritably.

He looked around the market and stores and soon found the shop he was looking for. He slowly made his way over and entered.

The shop owner took one once-over at Xue Yang's silken robes, never mind that they were dirty from sleeping on the ground, and immediately plastered a big, fake smile on.

"Greetings Young Master, how can I be of assistance?"

Xue Yang shot his own fake smile back. "How much for these robes I'm wearing?"

"Huh?"

Xue Yang had received a decent amount of money for the clothes, all in all. Xue Yang had wanted to receive more money from the clerk, and he had intended to threaten him or pull out Jiangzai, but his head had been fuzzy and his legs felt treacherously heavy beneath him and it felt like his head was filled with murky clouds. He had to content with the strings of wen that the man thought appropriate. He would have enough money to feed him today and buy provisions for a few days. It wasn't much.

In return for the robes, the shop owner had given him grey, yet matching pair of pants, inner and outer robe, and sash, all made with the most cheaply made linen. Xue Yang felt a pang of grief at the loss of the nice robes, but he supposed he shouldn't have felt too attached to the clothes gifted by Jin Guangyao. They had been nice after all. It didn't matter though. As soon as Xue Yang had bounced back from his injuries he could buy, or steal, new clothes that suited him better.

For now, Xue Yang slowly went around the market to buy something to eat. A few people gave him odd looks, the same people who had seen him begging earlier. Xue Yang wanted to gouge out their eyes or rip out their tongues, but he settled for simply imagining it instead and gave them nasty, toothy smiles that made them promptly look away.

The first order of business was to buy something to satisfy his hunger. He bought some street food, meat on sticks, and wolfed them down immediately. Once that was done, he had more energy to prepare for the journey ahead and other things. Despite knowing he was on a budget he, couldn't help buying some steamed red bean buns to satisfy his sweet tooth as he hadn't had any candies since before the fight with Hanguang-jun and everything else. He had tried to ask Su She for something sweet, but the man had ignored him completely.

Xue Yang bought some provisions for the road ahead and stored them in the qiankun pouch. All of the money was now used up. In hindsight he really should have chanced it and threatened the store owner for more wen. Xue Yang hoped that he had enough to eat for the road ahead.

It hadn't even been half a day after waking up in the alley, but he already felt bone tired, and the wounds were pounding. This was when the smell of blood hit his nostrils. Oh right, he needed to change the bandages.

He was still in the middle of the market, so he needed to find a quiet place to take care of his wounds. He slowly walked to one of the alleyways, bumping into an idiot or two who cursed at him under their breaths. Xue Yang contented himself with sneering at them in return.

He found another deserted alleyway and made sure it was one that was well away from the prying eyes. He was breathing heavily from exertion at this point, and the pain from his stump and chest wound were more pronounced now. Walking around for half a day had not been kind on his body.

The chatter from the market was muffled here. Quietly Xue Yang squatted down and took off his robes. His bandages had been soaked through and stained with blood. The wounds had re-opened during the day for simply walking around. Xue Yang sighed to himself. He quietly removed his bandages and had a look. The wounds needed cleaning, but he had nothing to clean them with. He had enough money for an inn after selling his silk robes, but then he wouldn't have had enough for provisions for the journey ahead. He pulled out the linens in the qiankun pouch and ripped them to be used as decent bandages and fixed his chest and stump. Without water to clean the wounds, this would have to do for now.

Walking around the market had been tiring, and after eating he now felt as exhausted as he did yesterday. But Xue Yang refused to stall any longer by spending another night in the dirt in some alleyway. He to be on the road. Each moment he spent away from Daozhang Xingchen made him anxious, he needed to find his way back to him.

With some effort Xue Yang managed to get to his feet. He began to walk towards the outskirts of the city.

Well, fuck him if it wasn't a huge city. It was already late afternoon when he finally made it to the edge marked by the walls around the city. He saw the huge gate where travelers, merchants, and others were milling in and out.

His brow was damp with sweat, and he felt thick beads making down his face. When he arrived at the gate, he was almost heaving for his breath, and he felt dizzy, and his legs trembled from exertion. Being this exhausted from such a short walk felt utterly ridiculous, but this was his life now.

He was just outside the city gates and merchants and other travelers were bustling in and out. There were several who had wagons drawn by either horse, donkey, and sometimes a cow. Xue Yang tried to catch the attention from one of them, but most simply ignored him. It became obvious to him that they thought he was a beggar, and he bit his lip and angrily tried to fight down the shame.

"You look ill, I don't want to catch whatever you have, get away from me!" One of the traveling merchants exclaimed in clear disgust at the sight of Xue Yang.

He knew he should feel anger at being treated by this by a simple beggar, but his hatred was dulled by exhaustion. He didn't even have the energy to reply with a colorful insult of his own. Instead, he just heaved after his breath, and felt more fat drops of sweat make their ways down his face, back, and legs. This couldn't possibly be good for the wounds.

If he hadn't spent money on those steamed red bean buns, then maybe he could have used the last wen to bribe someone to transport him in a direction approximately in the direction of Yi City.

Xue Yang cursed his sweet tooth and he cursed everyone else.

He stood there for the remainder of the day, barely on his feet, and sometimes his vision got so blurred that he could hardly make out the faces of people walking by, alle the while trying to get the attention from someone with a wagon. It was soon evening and the amount of people entering and leaving the town were getting fewer and fewer. Xue Yang had known for a while now that trying to hitch a ride towards Yi City was futile. No one wanted to associate with a crippled beggar.

"FUCK ALL OF YOU!" Xue Yang cursed loudly to everyone and no one in particular.

The remaining people just shot him either angry or confused looks, but otherwise they ignored him and went on with whatever they were doing.

Xue Yang made a grumbled and cursed at all of them before turning around and began walking down the road to Yi City.