A/N - See the beginning of Ch.1 for trigger warnings. Lemons ahead, read at your own risk!

Please be aware of the difference between a fictional fantasy and real life. Real life BDSM should only be practiced with a vetted, trusted partner, who you've discussed limits, boundaries, and safe words with. Safe, sane, and consensual irl everybody! This is FICTION for a reason!

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Red Hood snarled at Red Robin a few weeks later.

He'd been returning home from some business outside of his usual territory when he'd come across Red Robin engaged in some of the sloppiest fighting that Jason had ever seen, taking hits he shouldn't have with his rhythm way off. Jason had ended the fight real quick on his brother's behalf and then dragged him up to the rooftop where he'd yanked his helmet off and was now yelling at him, in concern more than anger.

"Nothing," Tim mumbled, half-turning away from Jason.

"Bullshit," Jason said. "Your head wasn't in that fight at all. You're gonna get yourself killed out here acting like that. Is that what you want?"

"Maybe," Tim muttered.

"Timmy," Jason said in shock.

"Codenames," Tim sang back at him wearily as he plopped down cross-legged and buried his head in his hands.

"Hey," Jason said, really worried now as he came to sit down beside him. He even wrapped an arm around Tim's shoulders, because fuck if he didn't think the kid might actually be serious about offing himself, whether he did it indirectly or not.

"Come on, Timmers," Jason said. "Tell me what happened." Tim gulped on a sob.

"Steph doesn't want to get back together," he finally wrung out. "Not ever."

Ohhhhhhh fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck -

"Did she say why not?" Jason asked, his heart racing.

"Not really?" Tim said, choking on some more tears. "She said she wasn't who I'd fallen in love with anymore, but neither one of us is the same. We've both changed, but everybody changes. I still love her, so much, and -" He broke off into sobs. Jason silently groaned.

"You know, Timmers," he said slowly, rubbing a hand over his jaw, "I think Steph is a lot more fucked up from what happened to her than you think she is."

"What makes you say that?" Tim said in surprise, swiveling his head to look at Jason.

Um…

"Take it from another torture survivor?" Jason shrugged. "It's not like the Lazarus Pit is the only thing that made me the crimelord I am today, right?" Tim stared at him.

"It's not?" Tim said.

What the hell -

"No," Jason said, staring right back at him. "You didn't know that?" Tim opened and closed his mouth soundlessly.

"Wait, is that what B thinks, too?" Jason spluttered, his eyes opening wider. "That I'm all crazy on Pit madness?"

"Um, yeah?" Tim said. "That's what we all think."

"What the HELL?" Jason said out loud this time. "Do none of you know anything about trauma?" Tim let out an empty chuckle.

"You talking practical knowledge or head knowledge?" he said wryly.

"Oh, my God," Jason groaned. "You are all such idiots. I can't believe you. I'm fucking insulted. As if I didn't capitalize on every ounce of my trauma experience to become the criminal I am today."

"Jason -" Tim tried to say.

"Codenames, Timmy," Jason said. "How dare you think I've been skating by on Pit madness with no participation at all from my own psyche. That's rude, I tell you. Rude. You've hurt my feelings."

"I'm sorry," Tim said, looking a little more amused and a little less teary-eyed.

"You should be," Jason huffed. "I am a very fucked up man in my own right, and you're giving some green slime all the credit."

"I can see now how very wrong of us that was," Tim humbly apologized. Jason sniffed in haughty disdain.

"It may take some time for me to find it in my heart to forgive you," he said.

"I understand," Tim said somberly. "But… um … about Steph?" he asked more quietly. Jason sighed.

"Look, all I'm saying is, if she told you she's too fucked up to date you, you should believe her."

"That's not exactly what she said," Tim frowned. "And I don't mind if she's fucked up."

"Maybe you would if she let you see how bad it really was," Jason muttered, pulling out a cigarette. "I mean," he added when Tim looked at him curiously, "you wouldn't want to date someone like me, right?" he said. Tim hesitated.

"I mean, Steph's not like you," he said.

"Are you sure?" Jason asked, pinning him with his gaze. Tim shifted uncomfortably.

"She's Batgirl," he said.

"Yep," Jason said, blowing out some smoke.

"Why do you think…" Tim started to say.

"Look," Jason interrupted. "She was tortured to death. Near death," he said. "Take it from someone who's been there. That shit stays with you." Tim sat silently, looking down at his feet.

"I already lost her once," he finally said softly. "I don't think I can cope with losing her again."

"You and B both," Jason snarked.

"What?" Tim said, raising his head to look at him.

"Why do you think the old man is so pissed at me all the time?" Jason said. "It's not because I kill people. It's because I'm not the kid he remembers anymore and he can't stand having me back but not really."

"Jason," Tim raggedly breathed out.

"I know it sucks, Timmy," Jason said, stubbing out his cigarette. "But you gotta figure out how to make peace with it or you're gonna end up just like him. And then you'll lose whatever pieces of Steph she's still willing to share with you."

"Fuck," Tim whispered.

"Yeah," Jason replied. Tim had no idea.

Fuuuuuck, Jason thought, once he'd made sure Timmy got home safe, and he was finally on his own way back to the Iceberg Lounge.

So, his thing with Steph? He hadn't started it on purpose. The thing was, he'd seen the dark secrets in her eyes that the other Bats missed. He couldn't believe that not a single one of them had questioned her story about pretending to be dead. As if any Robin would have done that, after what had happened to him!

And Jason hadn't known Steph before she'd left Gotham, but he didn't get the sense that she was the kind of person who would've let her boyfriend think she'd died. It didn't add up. Leslie getting beat to death one slow night at the clinic? That did.

So, yeah. Steph had been running around again as Spoiler when she first got back to town, and Jason had clocked her leaning towards criminality and decided she could be useful. He'd gone to her apartment that first night intending to ask her to become his sidekick, to help him run the Iceberg Lounge and his criminal empire.

She'd been in the bathroom when he got there. Jason could hear the shower running, so he'd propped himself up on some pillows and stretched his legs out on her bed to wait for her to get out.

He hadn't been expecting her to walk out of the bathroom stark naked.

"What the hell are you doing here?" a damp, naked blonde bombshell had snarled at him, and ok, if she'd tried to cover up or looked embarrassed, Jason never would have uttered the next words that came out of his mouth. But Steph had popped her very naked hip and planted her hand on it and raised an eyebrow at him.

"You, I hope," Jason's cock borrowed his mouth to say. Steph had snorted.

"That is the lamest pickup line ever," she'd said.

"Did it work?" Jason asked her hopefully. Steph narrowed her eyes at him, considering.

"If it's not damn good, you're never gonna do me again," she warned him.

"I can make it damn good," Jason had smirked, sitting up more eagerly in bed now.

"We'll see," Steph said cautiously. "I like it really rough."

"Oh, hell yeah," Jason had grinned. "I'm your man, baby." And that was the last real conversation they'd ever had until she'd showed up at the Iceberg Lounge a few weeks ago. It was most definitely not the last time they'd fucked.

"You're here early," Steph said the next night when Jason was already naked in her bed by the time she got out of the shower.

"Yeah," Jason said nervously. "Can I ask you something?" he said as she finished toweling her hair off and climbed in next to him.

"Sure," Steph said.

"Would you have gotten back together with Tim if we hadn't started fucking?" Jason asked her with his stomach in knots. Steph looked surprised by the question, but she was clearly thinking over the answer as she chewed on her lip.

"Maybe," she finally said. Jason had to fight off his nausea until Steph said, "but then I would have hurt him way worse when I eventually broke up with him. Because I would have had to, sooner or later," she said with a sigh.

"Yeah?" Jason asked in relief. Steph gave him a mirthless smile.

"You know I'm not Timmy material anymore," she said bitterly. Jason gave her a twisted smile.

"Yeah," he said softly. "I do know. You're pretty damn fine Jason material, though," he smiled at her. The smile that Steph gave him back was so genuine and grateful that Jason found himself leaning over to kiss her all gentle and sweet like they never did, with his hand lightly cupping her face instead of manhandling it, and his tongue slow and sensual. It went on for kind of a long time before they both pulled back and looked at each other in a slight daze.

"That was new," Steph finally said.

"I liked it?" Jason answered, surprised that it was true. Somehow Steph had been creeping into his veins since the night she'd shown up at the Iceberg Lounge. More specifically, since Jason had spent a night with her in his bed and then had an awfully domestic breakfast with her the next morning. If she'd gone straight home after sex that night, maybe they'd have continued on as usual, but now?

"I liked it, too," Steph admitted, gazing up at Jason with far softer eyes than normal.

"Wanna change it up tonight, then?" Jason asked her on a whim, feeling suddenly emboldened to go with the strange tenderness in his heart that was soaking up his normal nightly overflow of Pit energy.

"Yeah," Steph said thoughtfully. "Ok. We can try it. You still need to be in charge, though," she smiled up at him.

"I can handle that," Jason smirked at her. He swiveled and straddled Steph with his thick thighs, taking his time to gaze into her pensive eyes while he ran his hands through her hair. "You really are fucking gorgeous," he told her.

"Yeah?" Steph said, looking surprised. "You think so?" she asked curiously.

"Hell, yeah," Jason grinned, twisting a strand of her long hair around his finger. "Why haven't you come back to the Iceberg?"

"I - don't know?" Steph said hesitantly. "You always come over here."

"Why'd you come over that one night, then?" Jason said, starting to massage her scalp with his fingers. Steph sighed.

"You don't want to know," she muttered, half-closing her eyes and scrunching her face up in a grimace.

"Yeah, I do," Jason said, because he had a bad feeling that he already knew, which was confirmed when Steph groaned, opened her eyes to face him again, and said, "Tim asked me that night about getting back together and I broke his heart," she gulped. "I told him I never wanted to." Jason let out a low hum.

"Well," he said slowly, "you were honest with him. And not gonna lie, I might feel bad for Tim, but I'm pretty damn happy you're not thinking about leaving me," he said, pinning Steph with a deep gaze and a small smile.

"Are you?" Steph asked curiously, reaching up to palm his stubble. "We've never talked about any of this."

"Never seemed like we needed to," Jason shrugged.

"Yeah," Steph said, but then she got a little too quiet for Jason's liking.

"Something you want to talk about now?" he asked her, sliding his hands from her scalp to her shoulders, where he began to knead circles.

"You said I was your girl," Steph said slowly, chewing on her lip. "The other week. On the phone."

"Aren't you?" Jason asked, raising a quizzical eyebrow. "You're not fucking anybody else, are you?"

"No," Steph said. "Are you?"

"Hell, no," Jason grinned at her. "You're perfect," he said.

And aw, she really liked that, because she was blushing and getting a cute, shy smile on her face. Thing was, it was true. Steph was a living wet dream and as much as Jason suspected that he calmed her nightmares, she calmed his Pit rage, too, letting him take all that aggression and feral energy out on her, and he never had to feel guilty because she loved every second of it.

"I still want you to come back to the Iceberg," Jason hummed, leaning forward to nuzzle her ear.

"How come?" Steph asked in confusion.

"How come," Jason scoffed. "Cause you looked hot as hell all dolled up for me, and then you made me twice as hard when you brushed off that jerk at the bar," he said. "That's why."

"Oh," Steph smiled. "It has nothing to do with fucking me over your desk?" she teased.

"Baby, I'm trying to be nice to you tonight," Jason growled at her before he nipped her jaw. Steph giggled.

"You're always nice to me," she said, looping her arms around his neck and threading her fingers behind his head.

"Mm," Jason said, kissing down to her neck. "Tonight I want to be extra nice," he murmured, sucking slow kisses over her jugular that made Steph whimper.

"No," Steph mumbled against his hair. "I can tell. Tonight you're gonna be extra mean and make me wait, fucking me all slow."

"But you'll like it so much," Jason smirked as he licked over to where her collarbone met her neck. "Think how good it's gonna feel when I finally let you come," he said, still rubbing his thumbs into her shoulders and not letting his hands stray to any erogenous zones.

"We'll see," Steph hummed.

"Oh, you will see," Jason promised her with a dark smile. "Have I ever let you down?" And he hadn't meant for the question to be anything but a tease, but Steph's eyes got serious and thoughtful, before she slowly shook her head.

"You're the only person who hasn't," she said brokenly.

"Babe," Jason breathed out, really startled now. Steph shrugged and blinked a little bit, looking sad.

"I'm sorry," she tried to say, "that was too -"

Jason abandoned teasing and leaned in and kissed her like he meant it, both hands cradling Steph's face like she was his first edition of Pride and Prejudice. A needy whimper slipped out of her throat while Jason made out with her like maybe he actually did in fact give a damn about the fractured, badass blonde underneath him who'd just made a heart-whammy of a confession.

Maybe he cared a little more than a damn, Jason thought hazily as Steph kissed him back. Or a lot more. Steph seemed almost desperate for the gentle affection that they usually didn't give each other as she clung to his soft kisses, and Jason found that he didn't mind at all. For once in their tangled sex life, he felt like showering his girl with sweetness - because she really was his girl, wasn't she?

It might have been a slip of the tongue back on the phone, a casual designation that didn't mean that much to him at the time, but thinking tonight about Steph being with Tim? Or hell, about Steph leaving him for anyone? Jason didn't know how a few simple changes to their routine had ended up with him craving more of Steph in his life, but dammit, he'd been disappointed every single night that he'd looked for her in the Iceberg Lounge since her first appearance and she hadn't shown up.

His bed had never felt empty before, but lately he'd been tossing and turning at night, thinking about a blonde who wasn't there, a woman who was passed out in her own apartment where he'd left her to sleep alone after fucking her senseless.

So maybe Jason felt the urge to show Steph tonight that she meant more to him than sex, and if she wanted more, too, that was even better, wasn't it? And sure, slow, sweet kisses they could drown in weren't their usual style, but that didn't mean they were any less of a turn on. Especially the way that Steph was getting all limp and clingy under him, her arms draped around his neck and her fingers all twisted up in his hair while she made the cutest little noises and pressed needy, breathy sighs into his mouth.

"I got you, baby," Jason murmured in a husky whisper when he trailed kisses across her cheekbones, into her hair, over her ear, until he was nibbling light caresses onto the outer shell and lobe. Steph made a noise like a sob and wrapped her legs around his thighs tight, hooking her ankles against his calves and hanging on with a grip that smacked of desperation. Jason didn't mind in the slightest.

Especially when Steph began pressing a multitude of butterfly kisses into his cheek while he lapped and nipped at her ears, making her shiver and twitch against him while her fingers squeezed tighter in his hair, shooting sparks to his cock with every sharp tug on his scalp. She moaned when Jason ground against her mound, slow and hard and deliberate, and the way she squirmed under him made him pretty damn sure that he was already making her nice and wet for him.

"Will you go out to dinner with me Friday night?" Jason rasped into her ear on a sudden impulse. Steph's quick intake of breath wasn't due to his cock this time.

"Really?" she asked softly, repositioning his head with her hands so she could look into his eyes. Jason nodded, a small smile painting his lips. Steph blinked away some tears when she smiled and nodded back. "That would be nice," she said hoarsely while her eyes swirled with shadows of who she'd once been, a nice girl who dated nice guys in nice, normal ways, instead of getting brutally fucked on the regular by a guy she barely spoke to.

Jason couldn't exactly relate, since he'd died well before dating anyone, but he knew what ghosts looked like. He'd shivered way too many mornings while shaving, unable to avoid seeing the splintered pieces of himself haunting his eyes from the mirror, begging for a moment's freedom. So, hey. Maybe a dinner out and some normal dating would be good for both of them, help them reclaim a few of the loose jigsaw pieces of their broken psyches.

And if the idea of wining and dining his girl made Jason inordinately happy, too, and was giving him stupid little squiggles of joy in his heart? Well. There were worse things. Steph was smiling up at him so light and sunny now, like he never saw her in bed, before pulling him down into a long kiss that turned into breathless pants when Jason decided to start humping her with a little more enthusiasm.

"Will you finger me?" Steph whispered up to him after a few minutes, and that was new, too. His Dark Shadows Steph never wanted anything during sex except for Jason to make all the decisions. But Steph's face was falling into softer lines tonight and Jason could tell she was staying more present with him. "I wanna come on your hand while we make out," she admitted.

And God, the sweet, honest way she said it - not brassy and bossy, but not quite shy, either. A little vulnerable, more so than Jason had ever seen her, but so full of quiet trust that she was safe asking for whatever she wanted from him. More green filtered out of Jason's heart, leaving him with a warm orange blaze that he wanted to smother Steph in until she never felt abandoned or lonely again.

"I can absolutely do that, sweetheart," Jason growled, sliding one tantalizing hand down over his girl's plump breast and ripped stomach before cupping her mound and stroking little teasing lines into her slit, not quite touching her clit on each stroke. Steph whined a little bit and Jason chuckled.

"Aw, baby, the build up is what's gonna make it so good," Jason teased in his low, rough voice that always drove her crazy.

"You're what makes it so good," Steph countered, tugging his face down to hers with both hands.

"Fuck, Stephie," Jason breathed out in awed surprise. That was twice tonight she'd gut-punched him with emotions. His lips met hers in a passionate mess while he continued to tease her, probing his calloused finger just barely into the top of her slit, stopping tantalizingly short of her nub every time.

God, he loved to edge Steph and watch her squirm. She was so fuckin beautiful, the way she wholeheartedly enjoyed sex and let go for him, and she enjoyed the teasing and delays as much as he did, even if she occasionally got bratty about it during their normally rough sessions.

Steph made such a cute brat, though, and punishing her was always fun for both of them. But tonight wasn't about punishments and extra prolonged torturous teases. Tonight was for sweet, intimate, vanilla sex with his girl to give them both the more romantic emotional connection they'd somehow ended up mutually craving.

So - "that's my good girl," Jason murmured over Steph's lips, finally letting his fingers find her clit to give her a few blessed circles of relief that had her clutching his neck and grinding down into his fingertips before he slipped his hand further down. He slid two sticky-with-slick fingers deep inside her wet channel and pressed up into her g-spot while he plumbed her depths. Steph let a ragged moan slip into his mouth.

"Right there, baby?" Jason hummed, pressing deeper into the same spot. Steph sobbed. "There we go, sweetheart," Jason crooned, stroking his fingers into her quivering pussy walls. "You just relax and let me take care of my girl," Jason whispered into her lips right before fucking his tongue deep into her mouth, in time with his fingers in her pussy.

Steph started making the most broken little cries as Jason finger and tongue fucked her in tandem. Her sweet little cunt arched up into his fingers when he massaged her g-spot while his thumb probed her clit. Her hips began circling in time with his thrusts while she let him eat her face, claiming her tongue with his and leaving no doubt in either of their minds as to which brother she belonged to.

A low moan erupted from her on a particularly good thrust, so Jason kept fucking his fingers sharp and hard into that same spot while Steph frantically slammed her hips against him. He painted long, wet strokes against her tongue while he drove her relentlessly towards the edge, until suddenly her pussy spasmed and clenched down hard on his fingers.

Steph cried out as she came, but then her low wail dissolved into breathy chants of "Jason, Jason," over and over again. He kept massaging her cunt while she came down, her pretty pussy fluttering all around his fingers in little aftershocks and tremors while her cum coated his fingers and her walls.

"Good girl," Jason whispered, sucking a deep, approving kiss onto Steph's still-whimpering mouth. "Look at you coming all vanilla, baby," Jason praised her. "So fuckin beautiful on my fingers. You have any idea how hot you make me?" Steph blinked fucked out tears away while she shook her head no, staring up at him with soft, glazed over eyes.

"No?" Jason rumbled as he slid his fingers out of her and slicked them over his cock before lining it up against her dripping hole. "Thinking of you and your tight little pussy is the only thing I need to get off anymore," Jason said, catching her in another kiss as he slid in slow and deep, making her gasp and moan.

"Haven't watched porn in forever," he whispered against her ear while he circled his hips, grinding his cock deep inside her hot velvet walls while Steph clutched at his back and groaned. "All I gotta do is think of my girl and I'm gone," Jason hummed before drawing back and fucking into her slow and controlled and deep.

Steph choked on a sob, wrapping a hand around his head and pressing his face into her neck while she hooked her ankles around his butt. Her other hand trailed long, soft scratches down his back while he rolled and snapped his hips up into her, hitting her g-spot and pulling a muffled cry out of her throat.

Her tears began coming harder when Jason kept a brutally slow pace, dragging each moment out, forcing her to feel every single sensation while he squeezed every drop of pleasure out of her pussy on each thrust. Gasps turned into desperate sobs as Jason drove her closer and closer to the edge, refusing to speed up, denying her any breath of an instant's relief as he built her orgasm up agonizingly slow and powerful. Steph was a weeping, sobbing mess in his arms as he pushed, pushed, pushed her towards ecstasy but didn't quite let her fall over. When deep, wailing cries began wracking her core and she started shivering with full-body spasms, Jason finally gave her what she needed.

"Come for me, baby," he murmured over her tear-stained face as he slipped his fingers down and circled her clit. Steph's cries grew even more desperate and she clawed her fingernails into his back, and then she was coming, tight and hot and gorgeous all around his cock. Jason was coming too, shooting his cum deep inside her, thrilling like he always did that she didn't make him wear a condom since she was on birth control and the Pit effects kept him disease free.

God, he loved fucking Steph raw and painting her insides with his cum, marking her up and watching it leak out of her afterwards onto the bed. The Lazarus beast inside of him always felt satiated afterwards - victory claimed, territory staked, dominance established. The more human parts of Jason felt satisfied, too. He supposed he'd been a possessive bastard even before he'd wanted to date Steph for real, because he'd always felt proud and smug when he pulled out of her wet, leaving a sticky trail behind him.

He liked seeing his girl marked up, filled up, used up by him. He liked even more the way she was strung out on his cock tonight, still sobbing softly and hanging onto him like she'd fall apart into a million pieces if he pulled out and let her go. Usually Steph was deep in subspace and barely responsive by the time he finished. This was different and Jason couldn't deny that it was equally flattering.

"I got you, baby," Jason soothed over her ragged breaths while he hugged her tight. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You'll stay?" Steph asked him, snuffling as she opened her eyes more fully. "The night?"

"Yeah, baby. I'll stay," Jason reassured her, pressing soft kisses into her hair. Steph let out a shaky breath and squeezed him tighter, wrapping her arms and legs around him like a koala bear to trap him inside of her. Jason smiled down at her warm and fond, and hugged her tighter, too, before burying his face in her neck and sighing in his drowsy afterglow.

Fuck, she felt good. Cuddles weren't normally their thing, but maybe they'd have to amend that, even after they went back to rougher sex. Steph probably wouldn't mind if he cuddled her while she was in subspace, Jason decided, because to be real, he had yet to find the sexual activity that his kinky girl didn't enthusiastically consent to.

Not that they had ever really sat down and talked about consent and safe words and any of that, which… yeah. That was fucked up. But like Jason had said to her earlier, they'd never seemed to need to talk. Steph had never been anything but excitedly willing to take whatever Jason gave her, and he'd always felt sure that she had enough sass in her bones that he could trust her to stop him if he ever did something she didn't like.

They were a good combo, Jason thought contentedly, as he snuggled her with his slowly softening cock still buried deep inside her. He was glad that Steph seemed to agree.

But fucking hell. Jason was undoubtedly the world's worst brother ever. Tim was gonna be devastated when he figured out that he and Steph were actually dating. Fucking was far easier to hide, but dinner dates? And Jason's plans to woo Steph back to his club on the regular so he could burn with pride and a hard-on while he watched other men drool over her, only for them to be sharply dismissed by his very monogamous sweetheart?

Yeah. Tim was gonna feel so betrayed. And Jason felt awful about it, he did - but not so awful that he'd ever even consider giving up Steph or keeping their fucking-only status quo.

Good things didn't come often to Jason Todd. He had to take advantage of them when they did. It was just his luck that his something good would have one hell of a price tag attached to her - but Jason would pay whatever toll his relationship with Tim took in order to keep his jigsawed girl underneath him while putting more smiles on her face.

And if more smiles ended up on his own face, too - well. Jason could live with that.

A/N - 1 chapter left!

You can find all the JaySteph Weekend 2022 event works on Tumblr at JayStephEvents

Please be aware of the difference between a fictional fantasy and real life. Real life BDSM should only be practiced with a vetted, trusted partner, who you've discussed limits, boundaries, and safe words with. Safe, sane, and consensual irl everybody! This is FICTION for a reason!