Party of Scoundrels (Game of Thrones parody) episode 5

by Cosmotron

As the Tribal Unity are being defeated by the Grand Army, Xenopotia is becoming more prosperous in time for the holiday where they celebrate the gods for creating their world hundreds of years ago. Raizer discovers his origin, as the Oracle finds him bleeding black blood, a sign of a bad omen. During these events, the gods strike a deal with Omicron that will change everything.

1. Part 1

Party of Scoundrels

Episode: V

Part One

A trio of hooded men on horseback arrives at The Wicked Stepmother, a ramshackle tavern. The men are the three bandits, Ozzy, Sleek and Gibber, in disguise. They dismount their horses and enter the tavern.

Gibber: [gibberish]

Sleek: I agree with Gibber, Ozzy. I don't know if this would-

Ozzy: We have to do some bounty hunting for a change, Sleek. We're running out of business, and our boys just… ripped apart their contracts, saying it's dumb to tackle two royalties and sell them to the market, when we never accomplished it.

Sleek: Maybe they wouldn't, if we say it was our first try.

Ozzy: I'd doubt that. Now let's start off as bounty hunters and get enough money to eat.

Ozzy knocks on the door and an eye peeks out.

Bouncer: Oh…

The bouncer opens the door, revealing to be a blue-skinned cyclops, and lets the trio in.

Cyclops: Uh, come on in, gentleman.

The tavern is a seedy gathering of misfits. Pirates and witches sit at the tables. Two trees are arm wrestling. Someone is playing darts with throwing axes. A pirate with a hook plays the piano and sings. Sleek tries to hide his identity with his cloak and walks over to the bar, following the other two. Next to him, a minotaur pours a drink into his mouth and burps. Ozzy tries to get the attention of the bartender.

Ozzy: Um, excuse me?

Sleek turns to look down at a troll sipping a martini on a stool.

Troll: Have I seen you somewhere?

Sleek: Uh, no, you must be mistaking me for someone else.

Ozzy: Quiet. [to the bartender] Uh… excuse me. We're looking for the Ugly Duckling

The bartender, a muscular, man/duck hybrid, turns around and leans on the bar, scowling at Ozzy. It is Dylan, otherwise known as the Ugly Duckling.

Ozzy: Ah! There you are, Dylan.

Dylan: You three got a lot of nerve popping your heads in here.

Gibber: [gibberish]

Ozzy: Listen, we're trying out some bounty hunting for a change, and we'd like to start off fresh. So, I want to know if anyone's requested for someone to be taken care of.

Dylan: Who's the guy?

Sleek: Well, he's not any particular guy, per se. Anything, like… a prince.

Dylan: Hey buddy, lemme clue you in. There's only one fella who can handle any kind of hunting people, and… Dola'wic doesn't like to be disturbed.

Ozzy: Dola'wic? He's an old goat.

The whole tavern gasps and the pianist stops playing. As the crowd parts away, Dola'wic is seen drinking tea at the corner bench, until he glares at the trio across the tavern.

Dola'wic: You dare to insult me?

Sleek: Uh, sorry. We don't mean to, we just-

Ozzy: Oh, shut up, Sleek! [to Dola'wic] Listen, old timer. I don't care if you're the best bounty hunter in Xenotopia, but if there's a prince to be hunted down, we're onto that.

Hearing that, Dola'wic widens his eyes. He smirks with an idea, and he walks over to the bar.

Dola'wic: Before I ask, I need to know: which prince do you have in mind?

Ozzy: Only the first prince of Ukrim. Maybe you've heard of him. He goes by the name of Trimbo, and he has a pet raccoon at his side.

Dola'wic: Hmmm. I believe I have, or… I have seen him. He protects someone who was supposed to die on his twenty-fifth birthday. I would want you three to find, hunt him down… and the rewards will be great.

To prove it, Dola'wic opens his hand to reveal gold coins and jewels, much to the trio's amazement, and Ozzy smiles.

Ozzy: My friend, you got yourself a deal. Just tell us… where we can find him.

A battle is brewing, in the landscape of Kyland. The Grand Army is charging forward at full speed with the front lines on horseback, and the Tribal Unity charges with their heavy cavaliers on their front lines. Both sides charge until they ram into each other, beginning the fray.

Far behind the Grand Army, Edgar sits on his horse with Ayazz, also on horseback, watching the scene on a hill.

Ayazz: Just look at those men, sire. All brimming to be victorious to the end, just like Craitos all over again.

Edgar: You and I remember Craitos very differently, but… I share that feeling.

Ayazz: And with this, the Falconers will be arriving from behind enemy lines, simply sacking the ogres' outpost.

Edgar: Is Trimbo with them again?

Ayazz: I told you he couldn't be restrained. He has much of a warrior's spirit inside of him.

Edgar: He is my son, Ayazz, and he is the first prince. If he dies, you will regret it. You know that.

Ayazz: Yes, I do. But prince or no prince, learning to fight back is essential, just as we both did, and when he becomes a king of any land, he would be the perfect leader to protect his people. Plus, he's got Garlym with them, and the demigod.

As he stares back at the battlefield, Ayazz motions to an officer on horseback. The officer, a signaller, waves a flag side by side to give a signal, and out from behind the hill comes Norbert, flying in the air. Arkus, riding him, launches his arrows and Norbert breathes his fiery breath, killing the ogres in the back-end. Kesseki balances on the dragon's tail, shooting energy arrows at all of the survivors.

During the fight, Trimbo, Rift and the Falconers are sneaking up to the outpost, with Captain Garlym leading them.

Garlym: Listen up, men. We're going in there, see if Rathborne is there, and then we sack it. Got it?

Everyone: Yes, sir!

They hide behind a bush near a fence and Jacksyn shoots two ogres who were on the other side using his repeating crossbow. But when they get there, the fence has barbed wires.

Garlym: Damn it, they got barbed wire! We gotta find another way!

Maroon: It-chaaa! Real heroes never go around stuff! Hyup!

Maroon climbs up the fence and eats a section of barbed wire like it is candy.

Maroon: Whoo! All this manliness is making me thirsty. Better drink my own piss!

He gets out a canteen from his pants and starts chugging his urine, much to the others' disgust.

Jacksyn: Oh, my God! Why would you do that?

Vel: He's crazy, that's why.

Garlym: [annoyed] Honestly….

But Ringo climbs over the fence, and lands on the other side. He scurries over to the fence's main gate, pulls the trigger and it opens.

[Ringo chitters]

Trimbo: There! Ringo just opened the gate.

Jacksyn: Clever critter.

Everyone runs to the opened gate; Maroon looks at them with a displeased look, and he shrugs to just go with it. They get into the camp, where a few ogres are charging in front of them. Cleese throws a boomer on the floor, and it explodes, killing an ogre that was close to it.

Garlym: Break time's over.

With their weapons, the Falconers attack all the ogres in sight. Vel bashes with his turtle-shell, Jacksyn and Trimbo swing their swords, and Cleese throws more phials to spill all kinds of chemicals. Rift then throws a crossbow and an ogre is seen screaming as the crossbow goes towards him. Rift picks up a pebble and throws it, which hits the lever of the crossbow and shoots the ogre's head.

Rift: Damn, I'm doing good with this demigod trait.

Garlym: Look around. There's gotta be-

Then, a smashing sound is heard, and something comes out from hiding. A giant, a twenty-four foot man, stands up with a log in his hand like a huge club.

Cleese: A giant?

Maroon: Man, if that ain't a fluke, I don't know what is.

The giant swings his log-club at the ground, and the Falconers split up before they would get crushed. The giant roars and lunges again. Rift leaps up, and the log-club demolishes the spot he had been standing seconds before. Rift flies over his head, bounces off his back, and lands in front of the gathered teammates. The giant turns to face him threateningly.

Trimbo: Hey ugly!

The giant whips around to see Trimbo, as he lifts up a belt.

Trimbo: Is this your belt?

Then, the giant's pants fall down. He screams like a woman and covers his privates. With a laugh, Trimbo swats him with his belt, but the angered giant grabs him instead of leaving.

Giant: You know funny. Me bite off head!

But then, Rift burns the giant's ass with a burning stick.

Jacksyn: Whoa, bay-bee!

Rift: Quick, a rope!

While the giant is yelling about his ass, Vel passes Rift a long piece of rope, which he ties up the giant's legs with. The giant trips, then Rift finishes him completely off by punching him miles into the air.

Back on the battlefield, the ogres are still fighting, until they hear something coming from above, and they recoil in worry. The giant is plummeting down and lands on the ogre army with a heavy impact, which shakes the earth.

Once the dust clears away, all of the surviving Grand Army soldiers cough out the dirt from their lungs, and see that the ogres are all dead from the giant's heavy impact. But ahead of them is the outpost, which is where Garlym stands by the entrance with the Grand Army flag pole next to him.

Garlym: We claim this outpost in the name of the Grand Army!

Everyone cheers for the Falconers' success. They run to see them. Edgar and Ayazz both ride to the scene, barging in through the crowd.

Edgar: What's the report, Captain?

Garlym: There was no sign of Rathborne or Cardi, sire. We did see a giant ambushing us… until Sholdra chanced a risk of facing the big brute, sending him almost to the heavens.

Ayazz: Did he? Well… a deal is a deal, as well as a promise.

Ayazz dismounts his horse and walks over to Rift.

Ayazz: Riftaminus, for your bravery, determination, and power against wicked creatures, I hereby promote you… Lieutenant.

He offers a bronze badge around Rift's neck, which amazes Rift, and he salutes to him.

Edgar: Really? You are promoting him already, Commander?

Ayazz: I have been thinking about this for quite some time. With a demigod to lead a team, I believe Riftaminus Sholdra will do an excellent job.

Rift: [excitedly] Oh, I will. I won't let you down. I mean…. [somberly] Yes sir.

Edgar: Very well. I trust your judgement.

Cleese: Hey. Free cheers to Rift, slayer of giants!

Everyone cheers again as they lift him up in the air. Trimbo stays behind the crowd, looking at the dead giant, as Arkus and Kesseki come over to share his view.

Kesseki: This must've come from Dalladian mountains.

Trimbo: Since when do giants side with ogres?

Arkus: Never. At least… not until a dark power ruled these lands. I wonder if this could be Dola'wic's doing.

Kesseki: I wouldn't count on it. It could be another one of Duke Cardi's tricks.

Trimbo: Either way, we'll be ready for the next one.

Part Two

In the High King's Castle, Raizer is pacing around in his room, worried as She-Dom stands around in a bored tone.

Raizer: How could they let this happen to me?! How could they allow a demigod to serve the Grand Army?!

She-Dom: I always knew this would happen, Raizer.

Raizer: What would?

She-Dom: That a demigod would show up out of the blue. This changes everything.

Raizer: This changes nothing. If I'm destined to be the next High King, nothing gets in my way, so this Riftaminus is only a thorn in my side, and I can always withstand a thorn on my side.

She-Dom: Those are the words of stubbornness and stupidity all in one place.

Raizer: It is not.

Raizer rushes over to the window, where he can see the courtyard being prepared for something.

Raizer: On top of it all, the peasants are preparing the day.

She-Dom: Well, it is soon Gracious Day. The holiday of celebrating the gods for creating Xenotopia.

Raizer: They should never celebrate when they're ogres around. I don't understand why Rathborne or Cardi are concocting something that would distract them.

She-Dom: Not everyone is into wars, Raizer. You should try to relax-

Raizer: You're not helping, She-Dom!

She-Dom: That's funny. I thought I was.

Announcer: [from outside] His royal majesty, King Edgar!

She-Dom: Well, he's back.

A crowd cheers outside, loudly, as Raizer scoffs before he turns his back on the noise.

Outside, Edgar and most members of the Grand Army arrive on their horses. Edgar dismounts his horse before a servant walks over with different samples of carpet.

Servant: Which color do you recommend, your majesty? We have red with gold rims, blue with green rims, and… spring green with sky blue accents. Any of which might be pleasing to the gods.

Edgar: I believe the blue and green ones. Although, we may put the blues on the front and the greens on the back, where the stairs are.

Servant: Yes, sire.

Trimbo is way behind the parting soldiers, where he and Rift are having a private conversation.

Rift: You really think there's a mastermind out here?

Trimbo: I don't know for certain. But until we do, we must keep this to ourselves.

Edgar: Trimbo, a moment please.

Trimbo: [ignoring] What's that, Cedric? Right! Coming!

Trimbo walks off before Edgar reaches them.

Edgar: What's with him?

Rift: Beats me. He seems a little bit… distracted.

Edgar: Well, you move on.

Trimbo walks up to Cedric, a servant, who is carrying a bowl.

Cedric: Can I help you?

Trimbo: Ah, yes! Um….

Trimbo sticks his finger into the bowl and tastes it.

Trimbo: Mmm! This is tasty. What do you call this dish?

Cedric: That would be the dog's wet food, your highness.

Trimbo looks like he is about to throw up when he hears that, but he pauses and wipes the stuff on his leg.

Trimbo: Ah, well…. Carry on, Cedric.

Edgar catches up and Cedric walks away.

Edgar: Trimbo? Son, why do you feel the nerve to avoid me?

Trimbo: Avoiding you? Nah. I'm just a little too… something.

Trimbo walks off again, going up to servants and trying to appear busy.

Trimbo: Okay, that didn't make sense, but….

Edgar: Trimbo, I've been wanting to tell you something. You and your friends have been making progress so far, but I think we need to see eye to eye before any more missions would be-

Trimbo: Father, it's not a big deal. I've been doing just fine.

Edgar: It's not that. It's more to the fact that you're still avoiding your duties to be a proper king and you're-

Trimbo: Relax, I can learn in any way. Plus, Kent is back home, if I-

But Edgar silences him with a glare, and Trimbo stops. But then, a servant calls to Edgar.

Servant: Sire? There's a food fight in the left corner.

Edgar: I'll be right there. [to Trimbo] Listen, I can't always rely on you if you don't tell me something. [walks off]

Trimbo: [to himself] I have to.

Up the stairs, Raizer is eavesdropping on Trimbo from the window, and when he looks at him in thought, he smiles with an idea.

Later at night, Trimbo is in his bedroom by himself, sitting on his bed in thought. He looks at Ringo, sleeping on the pillow. Wor-Kis floats over to his side.

Wor-Kis: Is there a problem, Trimbo?

Trimbo: There is. I wonder if I should… tell my father about our meeting.

Wor-Kis: I believe you can. The only problem is, you have to be honest.

Trimbo: And that's the problem.

While talking, Trimbo walks across the room.

Trimbo: I'm afraid that if I talk to him, something might happen. I was mostly known as the troublemaker back home, so I'm worried it might happen again wherever I go. What if there's a spy and he just… barges in and something happens?

A carriage pulls over to the balcony and Raizer opens the door.

Raizer: Hello, Trimbo.

Trimbo: [startled] AH!

Wor-Kis: What happened?

Trimbo: Oh, uh, nothing. Nothing, just a big… spider crawling out of nowhere, but I'll… take care of it. I'll be outside, thinking.

He walks out to the balcony and shuts the doors behind him.

Trimbo: What do you want?

Raizer: Forgive the sudden appearance, but I was thinking we should have a talk.

Trimbo: Well, can this wait in the morning. I just taken my pills, so I-

Then, a large man steps behind Trimbo, which makes him nervous.

Trimbo: …Or I could just go with it.

The man shoves him inside the carriage and enters after him. Trimbo is sat between the man and another similar looking man to his other side. Ahead of his is Raizer and She-Dom. The carriage rides off.

Trimbo: So what's all this about?

Raizer: Call it eavesdropping, but… I have noticed you keeping your distance from your father. Is there something bothering between the two of you?

Trimbo: Uh, nothing. Nothing is bothering us. It's just… fighting an army of ogres takes a lot of planning to do, and planning takes some personal spaces for the time being.

Raizer: Is that so? Because if you ask me, it seems that you're… not getting along with him.

She-Dom: Ignore him, prince. Raizer is just-

Raizer: Hey, hey, I'm the one talking here.

She-Dom: And I'm the one talking because you're jumping ahead too far.

Raizer: No I'm not.

She-Dom: You most certainly are.

Trimbo: Um, if you two want some alone time, I could just wait outside.

Raizer: Stop the car!

The carriage comes to a sudden stop.

Raizer: Desperate times… call for desperate measures.

The men crack their knuckles, as Raizer rolls down the window.

Trimbo: Where are we?

The carriage is stopped at a drive-thru window of Mt. Ralphie's (parody of McDonalds).

Employee: Well, hi there! Welcome to Mt. Ralphie's, may I take your order?

Raizer: But I skipped dinner, so I'll let it slide. Er… okay. One Chili Burger Meal, no mayo… onion rings….

She-Dom: I'll have the Princess Meal.

Raizer: Yeah, one Princess Meal and Trimbo… sweet potato fries?

Trimbo: No, thank you.

Raizer: Sourdough soft taco, then? Whaddya want?

Trimbo: No, really, I'm fine.

Employee: Your order, your highness.

The employee hands him their order in a bag, and then a large battle-axe.

Employee: And this comes with the Burger Meal.

Raizer hands She-Dom the axe. The carriage takes off, and the conversation continues as Raizer eats his food.

Raizer: Anyway, I don't think you'd want to keep away from your old man, Trimbo. It's just not natural.

Trimbo: No, it's not, but I have my reasons to. And one day, it won't stay this way, so he could… count on me in the future.

Raizer: Well, take my advice. [pauses] Forget about him. Just let him do his own duty, and you do yours. It's a little harsh, but it works. I stayed alive believing in that.

Trimbo: [disbelieved] I doubt that.

Raizer: But trust me, it's what's best. Not only for your kingdom, but for your future.

They arrive back at the balcony of the bedroom and Trimbo is pushed out.

Trimbo: But what if he gets furious about it?

The battle axe is tossed into Trimbo's hands.

Raizer: Use your imagination.

Raizer shuts the door and the carriage rides off. Trimbo stands unsure, still clutching the axe, standing out at the moon.

Part Three

In the master bedroom, Edgar is more puzzled than Trimbo. He sits on his bed, where Iris is lying on.

Iris: Why are you so restless?

Edgar: I can't sleep. I just… want us to speak eye to eye, but he…. Trimbo keeps avoiding me.

Iris: I've seen it. But Trimbo always has his reasons. You know that. He may keep moving away from his duties or the people he's supposed to meet, but he's not a kid anymore. He's going to be on his own one day, but to be sure he can be entrusted to, it's you who must trust him. Just make a plan to talk to him, and then you'll see what's bothering him.

Edgar stares at the night sky in thought, heeding his wife's advice.

Meanwhile, Rathborne is in another basecamp, consulting with Stoneclaw in the main tent.

Rathborne: That's the third outpost they sacked this week!

Stoneclaw: I did tell you a giant's help wouldn't work. Not even with this demigod on their side.

Rathborne: Shut up, jackass!

Rathborne bonks on Stoneclaw's head, knocking him out. An ogre warrior with one eye, who is named Hashlick, is staring at the map of Xenotopia to strategize a plan.

Hashlick: If we fall back now, we will be able to refuel our resources. We'll be able to make more arrows, more clubs for the Smashers, and more metal to forge for the heavy-

Rathborne: You are as blind as you're missing an eye, Hashlick. The moment we move back, my armies will be losing more outposts.

Hashlick: Are you kidding? The humans outnumber us four to one… we have heavier weapons than they do… so we should, at least, send a handful to fetch what we need.

Rathborne: Hmmm. Denied.

With one heavy smack from Rathborne's arm, Hashlick is sent across the tent to impact on a pile of bones.

Rathborne: [threateningly] Question my orders again, and I will make sure your face is missing more than one piece! [to Stoneclaw] How much supplies do we have?

Stoneclaw: We have enough arrows and clubs for one city barrage. But we just got word from the goblins, minotaurs, cyclopses and more giants to assist with the Tribal Unity.

Rathborne: Splendid.

Rathborne's eagle flies over to perch on his arm, and he strokes on it.

Rathborne: I want the Unity to fight for more than just our kind. Cardi has made the world think only ogres are fighting, and we're going to keep it that way, if we want to take the humans by surprise.

So far away is a foundry at the riverside. A bunch of dwarves are seen heaving, pounding, and burning metal. One of the dwarves, Bardian, jumps over to Raizer and She-Dom for a report.

Bardian: Great news: it's almost done, but the bad news is, we've run out of gold.

Raizer: That's why I've assigned dwarves to do it, yeah? You're miners and craftsmen, so this should be no problem.

Bardian: Uh… nope. But need I remind you that we're crafting on a riverside like here? There's no gold here. And also, I've heard about this demigod-

Raizer: SILENCE!

Raizer lunges at Bardian, pinning him to the floor by the neck.

Bardian: Hey, chill-ax. You don't have to get so fussy. I just heard this rumor, and I wanted to ask if it is true, since… you were at Mardi Beach when it happened.

Raizer: [glares; slowly] There are no more demigods….

She-Dom: He may be a dwarf, but his senses are keener than humans. Bardian is just curious as all.

Raizer: [beat; to Bardian] Double the shifts and get it done before sunrise!

Bardian: Take it easy, we'll get it done.

Raizer flings Bardian away, who retreats down the stairs.

Raizer: [to She-Dom] Like I said, one demigod won't be a problem. I just need to get him out of the way with other things, and the job is complete.

She-Dom: You say that now, but you might regret it.

Raizer: I would regret it, when I just let someone like Morningstar to remain on the Crystal Throne. This plan is sure to succeed, and I want everyone with me to make sure of that!

Part Four

The next morning, Edgar sits on the Crystal Throne, where he consults with Destinon and her Craitan followers, including Bestial.

Destinon: So there you have it, sire. The ogres have consulted with other creatures, and we think this is another trick of the treacherous Duke Cardi.

Edgar: I see. My son and his friends have encountered a giant who was protecting the outpost, so it's probably the case.

Destinon: We're planning on heading back to Craitos after Gracious Day. Bestial is recommanding somebody to accompany us.

Bestial: [bows] Sire. I recommend the princes: Raizer Helix and your son. I believe with their help, things can go sideways for the Tribal Unity.

Edgar: We'll see about that. I still have much to talk about my son.

But he looks around, noticing Trimbo is nowhere to be seen.

Edgar: Where are they?

Guard: Having a walk outside of town, your majesty. He wanted some sightseeing after yesterday.

Outside of Kyland City, Trimbo is walking along with Arkus, Kesseki and Rift for some sightseeing, but far behind them are Raizer and She-Dom.

Trimbo: This part of the outskirts is more inviting than I imagined.

Rift: I know what you mean. Right there, there is Gnometown, in which the gnomes would immigrate to for some other appointments they have.

Arkus: I'm surprised of Rift being the tour guide.

Kesseki: Well, he says he's been all over Kyland before.

Rift: Yeah, I have.

Way in the back, She-Dom seems displeased as Raizer has a smirk on his face.

She-Dom: So… what exactly is the plan?

Raizer: Isn't it obvious? We're taking them to you-know-what.

She-Dom: [annoyed] Augh. Don't tell me you mean that place.

Raizer: This is worth it, She-Dom. When he gets there, Morningstar will suffer so greatly, he'll have no choice but to resign from the Crystal Throne, and I will be the one to sit on it.

She-Dom: Even if this plan does work, what to do with them?

Trimbo looks behind his back, and halts with the others to let Raizer and She-Dom to approach them.

Trimbo: Oh, just look at you two. The two of you look like you're bickering like you're betrothed already.

Raizer: Be-what?

Trimbo: Betrothed. Intended. Affianced.

Raizer: [pauses] Meaning…?

She-Dom: He's too clueless. [to Raizer] He's talking about being married.

Raizer: [realizing] Oh, that! Well, that could be arranged. I mean, She-Dom has a huge rack, and that's worthy enough to be fitting for a king's wife.

She-Dom: [glares] In your dreams. I would cut your throat if you touched them.

Rift: Honestly, where are we going to this place? I'm starting to feel like-

Raizer: We're going the right way. Unfortunately, it's where only royalties can go, so it would be wise for you to just let it be for me and Trimbo. And besides, he needs someone to talk to.

Arkus: That is true, but he can't just-

Trimbo: No, Arkus. Raizer is right. It's only a talk about my relations with my father, that's all.

Kesseki: If you insist. Rift is going to keep giving us a tour, so… steer clear for us, Trimbo. We can't bear to lose you in any situation.

Trimbo: You got it.

Far behind them, the trio are spying on them from up in the trees. Sleek looks through a telescope to watch Trimbo, Raizer and She-Dom splitting from the other three.

Sleek: I see him. He's splitting up from the others, but he's got another prince and a servant girl.

Ozzy: Either way, Sleek, we're still going for the shot. Our client promises gold, and I intend to keep my promise too. Take these.

Ozzy hands Sleek a jar of black scorpions, which makes him feel a little disgusted and scared.

Ozzy: Be careful, they're very poisonous.

Gibber: [gibberish]

Ozzy: Good. Let's go. [walks off]

Back with Trimbo, he watches Ringo sniffing around wherever they're going on the path. But as they venture forth into a forest, the trees are becoming less inviting and spooky, as if they're approaching someplace forbidden.

Trimbo: I still doubt your advice, Raizer. My father is a good man, and he just wants me to be trustworthy.

Raizer: Please, that's what kings like him would say. But in truth, life as a king is not always as great as it seems, when it comes to a family. First, when they're crowned, they find a suitor to marry and start having kids. But then it comes when the children are requesting their fathers' attention for something that's not related to their duties. They ignore their dilemma, saying marriage is all that's more important to them than anything else.

Trimbo: I don't believe that. I had a cold once. I've been sick for a whole month, and my father stayed right by my side until the day I was cured. He's shown to be a worthy parent, but you? Well, you probably had it from your uncle and not your folks.

Raizer: Not from MY folks?

Trimbo: Come on, I know your story. Your mother, Townley's sister, was married to Hubert Helix from southern, and your mother was found dead in her bedroom with a plague inside. When you were discovered there, everyone said you were a jinx.

Raizer: [enraged] THAT'S A LIE! [relaxed] I mean… it's not true. I was there when it happened, but I was the only one not infected, and… my uncle said I was a miracle.

She-Dom: Really, you must learn how to control yourself before you let out some steam.

Suddenly, a geyser makes a loud noise nearby, ejecting steam. The three of them have just noticed their surroundings. Mostly in grays, they see a dark craggy vale filled with skeletons of other creatures.

Trimbo: What is this place?

They look over the edge of the ledge they are on. A large bull elephant skull is nearby. Trimbo surveys the entire bleak valley, where skeletons of all kinds are scattered all over.

She-Dom: By the gods.

Trimbo: This is….

Raizer: I…. I had no idea. I was going to take to some private strip club by the river, but I-

Trimbo: Hey, this is no laughing matter! This is obviously a plagued valley. We shouldn't be here.

Trimbo is about to touch a bone, but he withdraws his hand before he could.

Trimbo: We should be leaving.

She-Dom: I agree, we're beyond the boundaries of Kyland City.

Raizer: Oh, are you scared that something might jump up and molest you, She-Dom?

Trimbo: No, it's the part where we get super sick when we touch something around here. But not only that, this place looks ideal for an ambush, which still makes it dangerous.

Raizer has moved nearer to the behemoth skull.

Raizer: Danger? Hah! I laugh in the face of danger. Ha ha ha ha!

Following Raizer's confident laughter, he hears more laughing from inside the skull. Trimbo draws his sword and Ringo comes over, hissing. The trio come out from the behemoth's skull.

Trimbo: Oh no, not you guys again!

Ozzy: Finally, we found you, princey. You have no idea how long it took for us to get you.

Sleek: Well, Ozzy, he's only been gone for almost two weeks. That's not long for me.

Ozzy: Fuck off!

Trimbo: You three should be heading off! I was merciful last time, but this time I won't be.

Ozzy: You don't make demands. We're here because we want your head this time. Our client's been generous, and we're taking the offer. Get him!

Gibber charges in with a sword, and swings it, but Trimbo ducks before Ringo jumps on his face to attack him. Sleek draws two daggers and throws them, which cuts Trimbo's shirt and it hurts him. But when Trimbo looks at the daggers' blades, there is some stuff on them.

Trimbo: Poison!

She-Dom: This way!

With She-Dom leading the way, Trimbo follows him to run for it, with Ozzy chasing them with a halberd. But Raizer stays behind to fight Gibber, which he did. With a hard push from Gibber, Raizer is knocked down and he falls onto a bone, which is plagued.

Raizer: NO!

Out of rage, he throws a rock at Gibber, which knocks him out. Raizer stares at his hand, which is turning dull gray, affecting him. He is mortified, until he sees the skin reverting back to its normal color and he seems puzzled.

Back with the other three, Kesseki's ear begins to twitch and he stops in his tracks to look ahead.

Kesseki: You hear that? Somebody's in trouble.

Rift: Odd. I don't hear-

Suddenly, a lightning bolt strikes the ground, but the trio jump back before it would hit them. They look ahead, seeing Dola'wic with his glowing staff standing in their sights.

Arkus: Dola'wic!

Dola'wic: I was slopping last time. But this time, I won't. Yen! Zu! Chao!

The Deathwalkers are summoned; they manifest their weapons and attack the trio, starting a fight.

Part Five

Back in the plagued valley, Ozzy chases after Trimbo, who breaks from She-Dom, up and over the skull. He jumps on it just as Ozzy tries to chop him and slides down the spine. Unfortunately, there is a crack in the spine, and it hits Trimbo right in the groin. His eyes cross and as he reaches the bottom of the slide, he groans and stumbles off.

She-Dom: Trimbo!

Trimbo turns around and is horrified to see She-Dom slipping down a hill. He runs towards her and kicks Ozzy in the nuts, distracting him while She-Dom escapes. Ozzy falls to his knees in pain, and Sleek rushes to his side.

Sleek: Ozzy, did you get him?

Ozzy: [high-pitched] Go! Get Gibber! Corner them! And get me an ice pack!

The trio pursue Trimbo and She-Dom quickly and corner them in a cave. Trimbo is ready to fight, but he is succumbed by the venom in his system by the poison-bladed dagger, and he falls down. Ozzy is quickly recovered, and he eyes at the fallen Trimbo.

Ozzy: Look at that, boys. Look how the mighty have fallen.

Sleek: But the venom is not lethal, is it?

Ozzy: Not likely. Either way, he's ours now.

[horse neighing]

Hearing that neighing, the trio are shocked. Then, Edgar and some Grand Army soldiers charge the bounty hunters and knock them about until they are cringing under their weapons.

Garlym: Stand down! All three of you!

Edgar: You better have a good reason to bring my son here.

Sleek: [nervous] Take it easy. We were just-

Ozzy: Your son deserves this! He attacked our men and put us out of business.

Trimbo: [weakly] They're… bandits.

Soldier: Healer!

Back with the others, the Deathwalkers are beating Arkus and Kesseki, until Arkus blows a whistle. Norbert flies over to breath fire at the Deathwalkers, wiping them out. Dola'wic attempts to zap the dragon, but Rift grabs the dark wizard by the shirt, and throws him over to splash into a pond.

Rift: That'll teach him!

Kesseki: No time to celebrate. Trimbo's over there.

Back in the valley, Trimbo is being healed by a cleric, and the trio are all being cuffed up, but Edgar walks over to his son.

Edgar: Trimbo, what on earth gave you the idea to come here of all places?

Trimbo: I was told by Raizer to come-

Edgar: Raizer? Where is he?!

Ayazz: I've found him.

Ayazz comes over with Raizer in his grasp, just as Rift, Arkus and Kesseki all arrive at the scene on Norbert.

Ayazz: Found him just walking away.

Edgar: Raizer. How could you lead my own son to this plagued valley?

Raizer: It was… a misdirection, and-

Edgar: Commander, take Raizer home and these three to the dungeon. The rest of you, with me.

Everyone starts walking away from the plagued valley. Raizer is being escorted by Ayazz, and She-Dom walks with them.

She-Dom: [whispers; to Raizer] I thought you were smarter than this.

Raizer doesn't say a word; he lowers his head in shame. But he stares at his hand, which was unable to get him infected by the disease from that bone he touched.

Elsewhere, Edgar leads the others to a glade where the sky is cloudy and everything quiet, until he stops his horse for something.

Edgar: Captain!

Garlym: Yes, your majesty?

Edgar: Proceed to the castle. I need to talk to my son… alone.

Garlym rides his horse to the soldiers ahead of him, giving the orders.

Garlym: Move on, men. [to Trimbo] And Morningstar, your father wants a word with you in private.

Arkus: Don't worry. We'll be waiting.

Trimbo watches the soldiers take their leave, and he is alone with Edgar facing away.

Edgar: Trimbo!

Trimbo slowly turns and walks towards his father. He looks up and, quite courageously, continues to come forward. Edgar thinks silently for a few moments, not looking at his son. Then, finally, he dismounts his horse and turns to him.

Edgar: Trimbo, you're very lucky you didn't get sick. You did, but it was scorpion venom from a dagger, and not from whatever's in that valley.

Trimbo: I know.

Edgar: You could've been killed! Of all the places you should never go, this was the worst! So why? Why do you just… keep your distance from me like this?

Trimbo: I…. I didn't know about it, when I…. I wasn't sure who to trust. Not after Cardi's been scheming. I was going to, until I ended up there.

Edgar: You don't trust me? I raised you, protected you, taught you, loved you, and you're saying… you don't trust me? Trimbo, I'm your father.

Trimbo: It's not that. I found out that Cardi was hired by someone, and… we don't know who it is.

Edgar pauses a bit, having thought about what he just heard.

Edgar: But… who is the one hiring him?

Trimbo: We don't know. All we know is… he's after the Crystal Throne and he was claimed to be… a threat to the gods. That would be serious bad news.

In a silent moment, Edgar thinks about what his son told him, and he puts his head behind Trimbo's head before hugging him.

Edgar: That's all I wanted to know. You don't know who it is, and that's understandable.

Trimbo: Believe me, father. I wanted to tell you, but I….

Edgar: I know. You were nervous. I was this nervous too… back when you were born.

[FLASHBACK]

Around twenty-eight years ago, a younger Edgar is pacing around outside of his bedchambers back in Alibi Castle, worried.

Edgar/narrating: Five years after your sister was born, my clerics think your mother was no longer capable of breeding another child again. I was afraid that the day that I would have a son would be out of my reach. So for days, I've prayed to the gods to help me achieve a son. And then….

[baby cries]

Edgar hears the sound coming from through the door. A doctor walks out of the door with something to say.

Doctor: Your highness. [bows] It's a boy.

Astounded, Edgar walks into his bedchambers, where Iris is holding a crying baby in her arms. The baby, who is the infant Trimbo, keeps crying, until he notices his father and smiles at him. Edgar is touched by the sight of his son; he picks him up and hugs him with tears running down his cheek.

[FLASHBACK ENDS]

Edgar: Your words mean well. I may not be trustworthy, but I'm already the High King of Xenotopia, and there's no way that I would threaten the gods. Not after I was blessed with you and your brother. I owe them everything. Although, there was one man who declared war on the gods. His name was Cruciatus, and he died with his followers.

Trimbo: But still… this mastermind could be anyone.

Edgar: I'm fairly confident in my supporters, son. I rely on Ayazz, the Grand Army, your new friends, and now… you as well. [beat] But… did you kill some men those three were with?

Trimbo: Yes. Remember what I said about Kolmar? It was them. The trio bandits who… killed him. I was going to kill them, until… Arkus asked me if that's what Kolmar wanted from me.

Edgar: [chuckles] Then I'd say… you made the right choice to spare them. Or there would be no one to judge them like your old man. [laughs] Now, get on the horse. We've got a party to attend to.

Edgar and Trimbo both mount the horse, but they wait until Ringo climbs up to perch on Trimbo's shoulder, and they ride off.

Part Six

At night, a party is held at the capital city. The square is crowded and jubilant. Soldiers and citizens celebrate their holiday, drinking wine in the streets, waving torches and Kylish flags, singing songs. Trimbo and his friends are gathered near the punches, having a toast.

Kesseki: To Gracious Day! And our gods!

Everyone: Cheers!

They raise their glasses for the toast, and drink together.

Rift: So Trimbo, what did your father want?

Trimbo: I told him, guys. He now knows there's someone after the Crystal Throne, and he swears to make sure that nobody would seize it.

Arkus: That's good to know. Now we just need to hope that he has to keep it between us all.

Kesseki: That I believe. But… where's Wor-Kis?

Trimbo: Told him to return to Rozella in the Red Hearts. She would need… a family member to celebrate with for Gracious Day.

Kesseki: Very thoughtful of you.

Among the jubilant crowd, Apex and Gamma are invisible, but they just watch over the mortals with smiles of pride.

Apex: Oh, it feels good to be back in this temple. I feel eight hundred years younger.

Gamma: Only for the time being, we should celebebrate together, my love.

Apex: Yes, I'd want that too. [lovingly] Just you and me, without the kids.

The two of them share a kiss, right before they hear a voice from behind.

Voice: How tragic can ya be?

It comes from the very god of disaster himself: Omicron, emerging from the shadows.

Omicron: I mean, really. The ocean god marries the beauty goddess, as one of us stays in a place where it's wretched and dull, like the Pits of Hades.

Apex: Omicron, you actually made it. Have you come to see if you have offerings too?

Omicron: [sarcastically] Hahaha, you're funny, old friend.

Gamma: Please, let's not fight. Let's just walk.

The three gods, still invisible to the mortals, walk through the party. As Omicron passes them, the candles go out and the food gets gotten, but it reverts when Apex or Gamma walks past them.

Omicron: I'm only here to make an objection. Why should I rule a damned wasteland, while you live high in the clouds in a paradise like Laputa? It's a land for the gods, and it's unfair if I wasn't accounted for.

When he sees an old man in front of him, Omicron smirks as he reaches out to touch him, until Gamma slaps his hand away.

Gamma: Don't you dare!

Omicron: What? It's his time! [to himself] …More or less.

Gamma: Ah-ah! Not today.

Apex: Yes, we have no time for another war.

Omicron: Come on, Apex. I only ask for a place on Laputa. I beg of you. I can't stand living down there!

Apex: Enough! You're there because you let jealousy consume you. You made your choice to uphold that uprising. You're not the same god I trusted all those centuries ago.

Omicron: Uh, let us not dwell in the past, mon ami. Anyway… I was thinking, um…. Maybe if you could make some room for-

Apex: You think I can steady the seas from flooding you with some bet?!

Gamma: Apex, calm down. [to Omicron] What is it you have in mind?

Omicron: It's quite simple, really. A truce. All I'm asking you is to just… give me a chance to live in Laputa for a while and make room for me. As king of the gods and ruler of the heavens, it's your power to do such things.

Apex scratches his chin in thought about what Omicron said to him. With some thought, he smiles and nods.

Apex: Nothing you said is wrong, I'll give you that. But Laputa is not a place to just settle, it must be earned. And besides, Hades needs an organizer to judge the souls of the dead, to see if they can be judged for going to salvation or damnation. Is that understood?

Omicron: Yes, yes, completely. That's one of the reasons why you brought me there to begin with. So then, what do you say, Apex? Just name the terms, and I will bestow it myself.

Gamma: Maybe, I shall name the terms. If you want to go there… you will STOP granting evils to men!

Omicron: WHAT?! I can't do that! C'mon! It's the only fun I ever get!

Gamma: [smirking] Then the bet is off.

Omicron growls, but he sees Gamma is playing hard to get, so he smirks to get the idea.

Omicron: Alright. Your call. I will grant no more evil if I'm to be granted a place in Laputa. And also, I will return to judge the souls of the dead. So… what do you say, old friend?

[5 second silence]

Apex: Deal!

Apex and Omicron both shake their hands, starting the deal.

Then, the crowd roars in cheer as Edgar walks by with the Oracle and the leaders of the Tri-Lands at his sides.

Edgar: Happy Gracious Day, everyone.

[crowd cheers]

Among the crowd is Raizer, who just stands there silently to stare at them.

Edgar: Although this is a happy holiday, as it has been for thirteen hundred years, this year is different. Because we not only have the Grand Army, but we had a party of scoundrels, including my oldest son, whose martyrous nature was enough to develop a great deed for our cause. In this wake, we have the Falconers who've helped them from time to time. Because of all that… we've been winning our fight against the Tribal Unity.

[crowd cheers]

Edgar: But no one was more surprised… or more proud than I am. Truly, my son has been a blessing from the gods!

[crowd cheering]

Raizer: [whispers; annoyed] Oh, please.

McGrady: Aye, a blessing. With no doubt, Trimbo has not been the luckiest man, but his determination and free spirit is without question! Hopefully, if King Edgar has the heart, he could make his son a new High King that we can be proud of!

The crowd roars in cheer; Raizer is stunned by King McGrady's words. Enraged, he rushes over and throws a wine glass at McGrady's face, shattering it before the king falls down. That act ceases the cheering, and everyone stares at Raizer.

Raizer: Bastard! That will never happen! Morningstar has no right to sit on the Crystal Throne and neither would his-

But then, She-Dom pulls Raizer by the ear, agonizing, in time to shut him up.

She-Dom: Please forgive him, he's… wasted away.

Raizer: I am not!

Raizer frees himself; he then trips over and falls onto a buffet table, where a knife is flung over before it cuts on his arm. He isn't hurt much, but he looks at black stuff that is dripping where he's cut. From afar, the Oracle sees it and she is mortified.

Edgar: Calm it down. She-Dom, please take him home before he… gets cranky.

She-Dom: [bows] Yes, sir.

She-Dom carries Raizer away from the party, where everyone is jubilant again for the holiday. But the three gods see the black stuff on Raizer's arm, and they seem horrified.

Gamma: Is that what I think it is?

Apex: It is. Black blood. Under our very noses.

Omicron: Well, you've finally noticed it.

Apex: "Noticed it"? You had something to do with it?! And after you said you'd never do any more evil blessing.

Omicron: I gave you my word, Apex. But Raizer Helix is only fifteen years old, so… he wouldn't count. Now if you excuse me, I should count the dead.

Omicron leaps up, through a drain, and down into the sewers. He flies down into a dark cavernous space, where it is the Pits of Hades. He heads toward his globe of Xenotopia, which is conspicuously covered in lights.

Omicron: Let's see…. The old man, I can wait. But… who's getting too old for, um…. Ah, this one.

He puts out the light on the globe with his finger and a woman's scream is heard. Omicron stares boredly as a woman's soul enters from the top of the cavern, and drops down into a river of souls down below.

Omicron: For fuck sakes, I'm bored down here! Day in and day out, there's always the same routine. But this Raizer Helix seems to have the black blood, and no doubt the mortals have seen it. So they know what it means. Although, I gave them my word not to give evil, and Omicron never breaks a promise.

Omicron gets out a phone and dials a phone number.

Omicron: Hello, operator? I'd like to call somebody. I am Omicron, the god of disaster. A god of disaster, yes. I should be on Facebook. No, I don't cause disaster, I'm prayed to give it or they ask me to do it themselves. JUST GET THE MOTHERFUCKER ON THE PHONE!