They both knew it would be like this and thus since the very start.
Hizashi and Shota had known that the odds of them dying first were rather low, even with their hero job. They had known it would happen, even Toshinori knew it would happen, he was probably the first one to know even.
But knowing didn't mean it wouldn't feel like something had broken in both of them.
Everything had been leaning for it, the dice had been thrown for Toshinori's life well before he met the two heroes. Everything was going against him outliving them.
For a starter, the man was older than them by more than a decade, this wasn't a good start. Then was coming in the heavy injury the man had from his first fight with All for One, this had most likely reduced his lifespan by a lot. His latest battle before retiring, where he had gone over his limit and lost the remaining of his quirk, had probably not helped. His deteriorating health, caused by a mix of everything, was the most concerning even when things were calm. And the cherry on top of everything were the people still targeting the retired pro hero, putting what he had left at risk.
The three of them had known, still did not change how the two left behind were feeling.
At least it wasn't due to a villain attack, they supposed it was the one good thing, it happened somewhat in peace. It would have been hard for it to be an attack when the man wasn't really going out of the house much anymore since it was tiring him. Also, older enemies were making themselves fewer in the past months.
No, he had ended up in the hospital after coughing up blood more than usual, although it was probably closer to actually vomiting it. Hizashi had been the one to call the ambulance, trying to stay calm so Shota wouldn't start panicking himself, though it was really hard to stay calm.
From the two, Shota had always been the better one at staying calm in urgent and stressful situations, but Toshinori's health was something he simply couldn't help but feel panicked about when things weren't going right. In those time Hizashi was trying to push down his own anxiety, taking on the calm role for those time. One of them needed to be able to act and he couldn't force Shota to do it.
He stayed level headed up until Toshinori was in doctor's hands and they had to wait in the waiting area. Only then he allowed himself to panic and cry, clinging to a just as anxious Shota who would try to calm the blond anxiety. The waiting area had become quite the familiar place and once they were both more calmed down, they would get to their usual spot and habits.
Shota would sit in a chair, sending messages to those he deemed more important to tell immaterially. It was at least keeping him occupied for a little while.
Hizashi on the other hand would walk around repeatedly, needing to move as he would check the time on his phone every ten minutes.
That day Midoriya and Shinso were the ones to come and meet them up in the hospital, worried look on their faces. Shinso would turn to the blond first, offering comfort by taking him in his arms, knowing that Shota wasn't one to necessarily be comforted by those, unless it was from one of his two blonds. Midoriya would try to talk and reassure Shota, changing his mind a little if he could do so.
When the doctor finally came to them Shinso was the one to do the talking. News weren't great and the man health had gotten even worst faster than they thought it would be. They couldn't tell how long the man had left yet.
They were allowed in the room where Toshinori had been left to sleep, surrounded by machine tracking his vital signs. The two youngsters stayed for a while but had to go once the visiting hours were coming to an end. The two older heroes had decided to stay despite that.
No one in the staff could bring themselves to actually kick the two men out after giving a warning. After all, it was All Might laying there, they couldn't bring themselves to force the man to be alone if he woke up in the night. Also, there was the darker man, whom many suspected to be the Eraser Head, who didn't look like he would go easily. And they could tell it was the same for the other blond. Forcing them out would not be a wise choice and none of them had the heart to do it, so they were simply turning a blind eye on that.
They spend the night the same way they usually do, alternating between quietly talking and Shota half-sleeping a little, ready to wake up if something were to come up, while Hizashi would try to distract himself with social media and giving updates to Nemuri. They were usually doing that up until the tall blond would wake up or if both of them passed out of fatigue.
This time Toshinori had woken up just as Hizashi was coming back with some coffee, coughing again. The radio host nearly dropped the coffees as he was closing the door, while on the other side of the room Shota woke up in a jump. It was not long before both men were on each side of his bed, coffee safely placed on the side table and already forgotten about.
They asked if he was alright or needed a doctor, only receiving weak words of reassurance. It didn't help to make them relax, but it did stop the flow of questions.
A silence then fell in the room, none of them knowing really what to say. Then Toshinori apologised for scaring them like this, Shota scolding him slightly for apologising since it wasn't something he could control.
They wanted to talk, yet the man was looking so weak and fragile. Both Shota and Hizashi had never seen him at such a low point, it was as if the man wouldn't pass the night.
"I love you" suddenly came a soft and love-filled voice.
Shota had frozen at the words, a sense of panic settling slowly in him.
The three of them were rather different when it came to these three words. Shota was the one to say it the least, it was not in his habits and he was showing his love in other ways. On the opposite, Hizashi was the one saying it spontaneously when he had this feeling of love for them. The words were still filled with the sentiment, never really losing their meanings when coming from him.
Then there was Toshinori. The man was somewhere in the middle, telling them when something big and important had or was happening. Right now wasn't supposed to be one.
Hizashi seemed to have caught up on it too, suddenly looking more fidgety. They both exchanged a glance, unsure of how to respond.
"You both really brightened my life, I never would have expected to love and be loved the way I was in the last years" he slowly continued, some pause needed to take some air in, also forcing himself to sit up in the bed. The two others suddenly got up, nearly getting on the bed as they tried to convince the man to keep laying down.
"I feel so lucky" commented the man in a whisper, softly smiling at them both.
He grabbed at both of their shirts, Shota not resisting when he felt him weakly tugging him closer to leave a gentle kiss on his lips. "Shota, don't forget to sleep and eat properly, teach the next generations how to be good heroes and take good care of our sunshine" he softly said as Shota grabbed his hand, trembling.
He did the same for Hizashi, the man trying to keep the kiss for longer, just a couple more seconds. "Hizashi, you too need to sleep, don't overwork yourself with your three jobs and take good care of our kitten too," said the man, smiling when he heard a choked laughter at the nickname they use to tease Shota.
The underground hero then started repeating how much he loves him, repeating it like a mantra, as if it would make the situation stop, compensating for all the times he never said it. Hizashi was just as much of a mess, crying as he repeated how much he loved the man, telling all the thing he loved about him.
The man laid back down, holding their hands, or maybe it was them holding his hands, so much they might as well break his bones.
"I love you" he whispered again before closing his eyes. The whispering of Shota then became even more frantic, Hizashi choking out his name.
Then came the sound of a flat line, the both of them freezing, unable to say anything. Shota was the one to push the button for someone to come, despite the machine probably having alerted staff, unsure how many times he pushed it. He had to activate his quirk when he saw the blond open his mouth, cutting out his voice. He wasn't sure what he was going to scream. Maybe his name? To wake up? Or maybe he just needed to scream? Either way, he would have blasted the eardrum of everyone in the hospital if he hadn't stop him, that he was sure of.
When doctors came in, they both moved aside, leaving place for them to work. They knew it was too late, but there was still that little hope in them. Hizashi was clinging to Shota helplessly, not wanting to turn around and see again the unmoving body of their partner. The blond did not even need to look back to the doctors to know the result, as he could feel Shota's grip on him tighten as his hand started to shake.
They knew it would happen, but it didn't stop that night to create an emptiness in both of them.
Everything that came afterwards went by too fast and was a blur. Toshinori's funeral was held with close friends, the students of 1-A class he had taught the most and some heroes with whom he had been close to. It did not stop the whole of Japan to have one for themselves, it was simply not with them.
Neither of them could be mad for the media to do that, but they were extremely grateful that for once they didn't show up, Shota would probably have lashed out if he had the energy for it. No, they couldn't stop them from mourning the loss of the previous Symbol of Peace. The youngest generation wouldn't get it, but there were those like the 1-A class who had grown up with him being there to save everyone. There were those of Shota and Hizashi's generation who had seen how thing changed with the raise of all Might. And there were those left from previous generations, having lived for long in the harsh world that was there before All Might came to change it.
All Might had changed their world and people were still looking up to him after his retirement. But that was the thing, they were mourning the loss of All Might, not Toshinori Yagi.
Then came the distribution of what he had. Neither of them were surprised when they heard a big part of it was going to charity, of course even once the man was dead he would keep on helping the world with the money he had accumulated throughout his years of heroic work. The rest was pretty much divided between them, the young Midoriya and a couple of close friends the man had left. But that wasn't really important to them.
And this is from there that thing slowly came back to what they were. Or nearly.
They both had either picked up or worsen bad habits. Hizashi had picked up on using one of the training grounds who was soundproof enough to scream his pain away. Sometimes Shota would be waiting outside, wearing ear protection just in case, so he could take care of the surely sore throat the man would have.
Shota on the other hand was not able to sleep. His insomnia was worse than ever before. He also barely had any appetite for eating, drinking mainly coffee and jelly pouch. Nemuri would be the one somewhat forcing him to eat some actual food and not just coffee and those jelly pouch of his.
They both also decided work was a great way to distract themselves. They had even been forced to take a break at the beginning, but once that was done they went fully in for that distraction. Doing more hours than needed at school, staying to help in the training of some students if they felt like it. Patrols were also more frequent, and Shota was often repeating "mistakes" from when he first started to teach, which was working at night when he was supposed to teach the day after. Hizashi couldn't do more radio than he was already doing, but pushing his radio persona was a great way to forget for a moment. He would even allow Shota to stay with him, often just grading papers and needing his last blond close to him.
It was a mix of everything that had sent Shota to the hospital. It was to say, Hizashi nearly had a panic attack before being told he would be alright, damages weren't as heavy as they first thought. Shinso and Midoriya had run to join them too, scared to lose another one. Shinso didn't restrain himself while scolding him, Shota listening, knowing he was at fault.
With barely just coffee in his system and no sleep, of course, he would be less focus and easier to attack. He was lucky to only have a broken arm and a couple of cuts.
Once the two men were reassured and Shinso satisfied with the yelling he gave, they left, still making sure to tell them to call if they needed anything. Then silence fell on the two older heroes.
"We really need to get ourselves up" ended up commenting Shota, still looking tired. But he was also feeling sorry and guilty for making the young men worry so much about them. "This isn't what Toshinori want for us" he then pointed out. Far from what he had asked them even.
They both knew very well how the other was feeling, somewhat enabling each other to act in such harmful ways. The blond knew he should have made sure Shota was eating and sleeping well, yet he didn't. The underground hero knew he should have stopped Hizashi from using his quirk to vent his pain, now he had a severe sore throat where he needed to keep quiet as much as possible until it went away. Recovery Girl had refused to heal him, as a punishment for acting in such a way and because it wouldn't really affect him forever.
"If we keep it up, he will come back to haunt us until we stop" signed the man with a silent chuckle, making Shota smile slightly. He took a small pause, before continuing, "We've been worrying everyone, didn't we". It wasn't much of a question than it was a statement. They clearly did.
"I regret not telling more often that I love him" admitted Shota after a little while, catching the blond attention. They hadn't spoken about it in the past months, it had been too sensitive of a subject, so neither had tried to talk about it. Especially since Shota wasn't one to usually say what he felt.
"He knew that you love him too" signed Hizashi, getting closer to the bed, gently grabbing the underground hero's uninjured hand. "I know, but I should have made it clearer, that I should have said it more often," said the man with a shaky breath.
Hizashi did not respond, simply looking at him and showing he was ready to listen. He was usually the one talking, he could be the on listening for once. There was some hesitation before Shota started again, this time as if a dam had broken and telling all the thing he regretted. It was mostly time where he could have been more loving, more there, how he felt like there was no way a man as kind as Toshinori could have loved him so much and how he had been feeling in the past few months.
The blond silently listened, gently grabbing his hand and crying with him. When Shota seemed to be done, he stood up, going to sit on the side of the bed. "Feeling better?" he asked, the underground hero looking a little unsure about that, "A little" he admitted. It did felt good to finally tell what had been on his mind.
Hizashi smiled at that, it was already a small step to getting better. "Once my voice is back let's talk more about it" he suggested. He could sign, but it was rather bothersome when he has so much to say, so much that it wasn't always easy to communicate while signing. This made Shota smile a little again, "Let's do that" he responded, gaining a kiss, the blond keeping their forehead together as he simply stayed there for a moment.
They had known it would happen, it wasn't stopping the pain they felt.
But they could recover from the pain, together they could do it. If not for them, at least for Toshinori
Yes.. they could do it.