Author's Note: Cross-posted on AO3
Author's Note 2: I kinda forgot to post this here on FFN. Sorry.
Xxxxxxx
The door rattled in its hinges after being thrown shut behind him as he stormed into the house. Hetty had sent them all home - to decompress as she had told him with a pointed glance.
Callen didn't want to decompress. He wanted to be angry.
After days of an intense investigation and pursuit of a person of interest with connections to a splitter branch of a terror cell they had managed to expose and destroy several weeks earlier, they had finally apprehended the man… only for Homeland Security to swoop in and take the prize.
That was all well and dandy, the DHS did have the right to do so, but the fact that they hadn't even been allowed to finish the interrogation that had hinted at far advanced plans for an attack on US soil was boiling his blood.
The DHS operatives had been condescending and basically patted their heads with a "we'll deal with it, don't worry your heads about it, kids". If Sam hadn't stepped in front of him, Callen might have just ripped the guy's head off.
He hated being looked down upon, a feeling he knew well from childhood but less well from adulthood. He was a master in his profession and rarely did anyone dare putting him down - let alone did they get away with it. Callen knew that his hatred of this old feeling was one reason why he had always driven himself to become the epitome of a legend.
And yes, that was bragging, but fury brought out the worst in him sometimes, especially when age old insecurities were rearing their heads and snickering at him.
On top of that… the last weeks had thrown him for a loop. First Hetty and Vietnam and then his father… ever since his father had been taken into Iran, everything had been a strange mix of dulled emptiness and barely containable surges of fury.
Resisting the urge to kick the wall, Callen banged around the house, mindlessly and fruitlessly venting his anger. He eventually stood at the counter, his arms planted on the countertop, his head hanging low and his chest heaving as he closed his eyes.
"What's got you so riled up?"
His head snapped up as Callen startled badly at the voice, not having expected company - or rather having forgotten that Luc was currently off-duty and was staying at his place for a few days. He found his lover's curious gaze on him, his expression open and calm.
A wordless snarl escaped him as the simple question once more brought the events of the day that much closer to the forefront of his mind.
Callen pushed away from the counter and prowled through the living room again, feeling Luc's eyes following him, feeling the walls close in on him that much more due to the scrutiny.
"Leave me alone, Luc," Callen snapped without glancing at the other man.
Instead of leaving, he could see from the corner of his eye that Luc leaned his weight into the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest and continuing to watch him. Callen bristled at that. Biting his tongue, he continued pacing the room, pointedly ignoring Luc.
He felt his hackles rise further with each lap when Luc gave no indication of moving or addressing him.
He threw his arms up and whirled around to face the other man. "What the hell do you want? I told you to leave me alone," he yelled.
Luc merely arched an eyebrow and shrugged his shoulders. "Wouldn't be the first time I didn't listen to you," he gave back with a grin.
It was that sentence that made him snap. The indication that he was being ignored, that he was put down again, now in a personal relationship instead of in a professional content, was too much. Despite knowing that Luc didn't mean it in that way, that it was just circumstances that made him take the words to heart in a way he knew he shouldn't, Callen reacted.
He surged forward and practically bulldozed towards Luc. Several sentiments flickered over Luc's face within milliseconds - surprise, confusion and indecision - before the SEAL in him took over, his instincts and training coming to the fore as he braced himself.
There was a moment of stillness before their bodies crashed together, Callen with the single-minded intent to vent his frustration and Luc with the intent of self-preservation and damage-control.
The surprise effect was all that Callen had that let him shove Luc into the wall in his back, grappling for leverage to do it again. There was a soft 'ompf' as Luc exhaled upon impact before the other man changed his hold on Callen, pushing him back.
It was always difficult to get the upper hand against the Navy SEAL, but blinded by fury while the other man was completely controlled, Callen didn't stand a chance and it made the fury in him burn all the brighter. Fact was, Callen didn't care he couldn't come out on top. He needed an outlet and fighting Luc, coming at him when he couldn't go after the real source of his fury would give him that outlet. And Luc being who he was, Callen knew he wouldn't be able to do him any harm. Luc knew how to protect himself and so Callen could let go and sink into the fury, trying to purge it from his system.
Advancing again, Callen tried ducking under Luc's defense, but the other man saw his intent and countered his move, sidestepping before bringing their bodies back into contact. This time, Callen retreated voluntarily, giving himself room to work as he threw a punch at the other man.
Luc raised his arm enough to block the blow, before stepping forward, turning his body slightly and delivering an elbow to Callen's head - though Callen could tell he was pulling his punch. Reeling, he staggered back, but if Luc had meant for this to be a wake-up call, it backfired, because the only thing surging was fury instead of clarity.
With an incensed yell, Callen charged again, tackling his shoulder into Luc's chest and forcing him back into the wall. The impact was hard enough to rattle the door and the wood groaned. If there had been any pictures on the wall, they probably would have fallen.
They were comparable in height, in weight and even in fitness, but they weren't evenly matched. Callen had training, had learned a lot of combat skills over the years - from street fights, from his SEAL partner at work, from specialized trainings and also from Luc - but he hadn't gone through SEAL training like Luc had.
The only thing Callen had going for him was the depth of his fury, and the only thing holding Luc back was his desire not to harm his current opponent who was also his lover.
Callen heard the frustrated grunt before he felt Luc's movements change. Within moments, Luc's hold on him changed and Callen was forced back. This time it was Luc who closed the distance between them, advancing while Callen threw the next punch. Luc ducked under his arm, making the blow glance off, and came in under Callen's defense.
Slightly off balance, Callen tried shifting his weight, but was a fraction of a second too slow as Luc manipulated Callen's body past his. Suddenly having Luc behind him, Callen was too slow to turn before the other man used their momentum and shoved them forward, Callen's body connecting with the counter just moments later. What little cutlery he had, rattled from the impact and a mug fell crashing to the floor, shattering into pieces.
Callen snarled and started to push back, but Luc's weight wouldn't budge and when Callen forced his elbow back, Luc's body absorbed the impact before the other man grabbed his wrists and forced them up, stretching his body out over Callen's and pressing his torso down to the counter.
There was a brief frozen moment of stillness where both of them were breathing hard while they considered their options.
"Are you done?" Luc asked, the words a murmur against his ear that made him shudder.
Another moment of stillness made Luc's weight settle heavily against him and Callen felt a sudden tug of arousal in his gut at their position and proximity. It wasn't powerful enough to overcome the fury though and he reared back, once more trying to push Luc off.
Xxxxxxx
Luc felt the moment, the brief shift in his lover's attention, the brief moment of hesitation and mellowing before the body beneath him firmed once more, yet again rebelling against Luc's.
Whatever had riled the other man up like this, Luc knew that he was treading a fine line. Restraining G wasn't really a thing to be done. They both had reservations and instinctive reactions to certain things and while they knew each other well by now, trusted each other on a very deep and intimate level, there were still taboos they didn't touch, invisible lines of trust they hadn't yet constructed.
G had been held prisoner in his service for the country. Luc himself had been present when they had freed him from the cell deep within the mountain caves nearly three years ago, had seen G bound tightly. He also knew a bit about G's upbringing and his lover had confided in him about some violent encounters with foster fathers in his youth, so he knew the restrictive position he held his lover in right now was walking a tightrope. If they toppled the wrong way, their whole relationship could be destroyed.
And while Luc desperately didn't want that, he also knew himself well enough to know he wouldn't back down from this challenge, thrilled at the adrenaline rush of a fight born out of a difficult situation.
The last few weeks had been difficult to navigate at times. His lover had slowly started reconnecting with his father and also his half-sister and nephew… only to have it all ripped away from him.
Garrison had been turned over to Iran - and Iran in turn had been acting under the direction of the head of the Russian FSB, so Garrison could be delivered back into Russia. G had fought to keep his father in the US, had been prepared to make a morally at least questionable decision in handing over another Russian fugitive and later, when that option had been taken from him, he had been prepared to go on the run together with his father. In the end, his efforts had been fruitless and he had been forced to idly stand by while his father exchanged himself for two American journalists.
His half-sister had withdrawn, leaving G with even more regrets than he knew how to deal with. He had balanced precariously close to a dangerous edge for a while now and it seemed today things were coming to a head. Luc only hoped their relationship would be strong enough to withstand this.
Having felt that brief moment of stillness in G, he was certain his lover was at least somewhat aroused by their proximity, even though he didn't seem to be quite ready to go down this road yet.
Still, it was enough to make Luc's intent shift away from winning the fight to carefully manipulating his lover into seeking another option to vent his frustrations.
Keeping his body in firm contact with G's, Luc used his position to keep control of his lover's movements, keeping him pressed firmly against the counter. He ignored the wordless snarls and furious yells while he held the man beneath him. If G really wanted to put an end on this… well, they did have safe words and he was certain G wasn't that far gone into his fury that he wouldn't remember those.
Changing his hold on his partner, his left hand moved to restrain both of G's wrists against the countertop. His now freed right hand reached for the back of G's head, keeping the man's movements controlled even further before he lowered his own head down. He didn't want to be head butted and right now, G was quite volatile.
Dropping a kiss against the back of his lover's neck, he kept his grip gentle, yet firm.
G's struggles slowed upon the kiss and Luc smiled slightly to himself, deciding to push on, adding several more kisses to his jaw and his temple, his teeth lightly scraping over his flesh every now and then.
He could feel the internal struggle in the body beneath him, torn between slowly mounting arousal and the remaining desire to fight.
Luc kept up with the kisses, his hold on G's wrists loosening slightly but remaining vigilant. He could feel in the remaining tension - one that had nothing to do with rising sexual tension - that G wasn't yet fully distracted from fighting out his frustrations.
Luc shifted slightly behind G, making him feel his own arousal and there was a stutter of breath that escaped the confined man. Taking that as further encouragement, Luc allowed his hand to drift away from the back of G's head, feeling safe enough that G wouldn't instantly try to head butt him.
True to his expectation, G didn't smash his head into Luc's, but some tension seeped back into the other man's body now that he was allowed more freedom than before. The tension announced his intentions, therefore giving Luc a moment to brace and reaffirm his hold on G's wrists, his body absorbing the way G's bucked up under him.
Luc simply held firm while his lover once more bucked and battled against him, his struggles futile and somewhat unconvincing. Right now, it felt like G was fighting himself more than he was fighting Luc.
His now free right hand slowly drifted over his lover's body, separated from the man's flesh by his clothes.
A low whine coming from G made him smile and drop a gentle kiss on the back of the other man's neck. He lingered, inhaling deeply, nosing the skin and drifting up to his hairline.
There was a shudder going through his lover even while he once more bucked up. Luc could feel he didn't give it his all anymore though, distraction and desire slowly taking over.
Luc reached back and withdrew the pocketknife he always carried from his jeans. He nipped on G's ear. "Hold still," he whispered while he flicked the switch and the blade sprang forward with a quiet snick. There was an answering jolt in the body beneath him, but then G fell still.
All of this was a testament to how much the other man trusted him: the way G let himself be restrained, allowing Luc to hold him down and now the added threat of a weapon being unsheathed - even though Luc had no desire to harm the other man.
Turning the blade over, he slid it beneath G's collar and cut through the fabric, levering his own body up as he went, trusting G to hold still right now - both so he wouldn't hurt either of them and possibly also in what must be surprise at Luc's action. Cutting through the fabric was the easiest - and safest - way to get his hands on G's skin. Luc wouldn't move completely away and release G right now when the other man was still tethering on the edge of a fight.
The shirt taken care of, Luc retracted the blade and returned the knife to its place while he leaned back down, once more bringing his body into contact with G's to hold him still - and right in time as the other man shook himself out of the stillness and once more bucked up. It felt more like a token protest rather than a real desire to dislodge Luc though. The fact that G didn't call a halt to this, that despite everything he trusted Luc enough to let this play out, made him heady with desire and elation.
They had played rough before, but G had never truly let Luc take control in their sexual encounters. He had always held back to a certain degree. Right now, Luc felt he needed something from G and he felt even more strongly that G also needed something from him. However unconsciously, G needed for him to demonstrate the ability to support the other man in becoming vulnerable, in letting himself go and submit not only his basic needs, but himself to Luc. It was similar to the way G had allowed himself to take painkillers in Luc's presence after he had rolled his car, trusting Luc to keep him protected while he was under the influence of the drugs, similar to the way G had appeared on his doorstep after his ex-girlfriend's CIA identity had been revealed and also similar to the way he had reached out to Luc after Michelle's death… and at the same time this was different, far more personal and intimate.
His right hand roamed over newly uncovered flesh and his lips followed.
The body beneath him trembled, tension ebbing away and returning in waves as G continued to war with himself. Whenever the desire to fight won, G tensed and twice more he reared up, but Luc merely tightened his hold on G's wrists and firmed his stance, letting G buck into him, yet again bringing their bodies into contact. Not retaliating, he instead continued peppering G's flesh with kisses, the fingers of his right hand also trailing lightly over his lover's skin.
Each wave of tension seemed less volatile, and G's movements became more like an afterthought and less like real purpose. Slowly, the fight for control changed, desire becoming more important than taking out his fury.
Luc didn't speak, somewhat certain that words could only topple the house of cards they were in right now. Instead, he let his actions speak, his fingertips dancing over the muscles, his lips brushing over skin, his tongue following the ridge of a shoulder blade, feeling the tension slowly easing out of G's body.
He didn't know what he was waiting for, but he kept the touches and kisses fleeting, not straying from G's back and shoulders, not adding any other stimulus.
His lover was breathing hard, some tension remaining in the muscles as he held himself still, seemingly on the brink of something.
When it eventually came, Luc realized instantly that this was the moment he had been waiting for:
A tremble.
A shudder.
A soft exhalation.
And then all the tension just bled out of the man beneath him. G's head sunk to the counter, his arms grew lax, and he let himself go in complete submission.
The feeling was heady, the realization that they had come this far, that G could let go - after whatever had happened today and all that had happened lately - and find his stronghold here.
Luc planted a lingering kiss against his skin, gratitude and promise both.
He added a forward shift of his hips while his right hand snuck around the other man and drew him even more firmly against his body, his fingertips brushing the outline of the bulge in G's pants.
His lover's hips bucked forward in response and Luc allowed his fingers to creep inward, drifting over the hard ridge of G's erection while he once more shifted his hips, rubbing himself against his lover.
A stuttering breath was his reward.
His fingers shifted again, this time moving up to unbuckle G's pants. The sound of the zipper coupled with a soft groan before G pressed his hips forward. Luc's reaction was instinct, firming his palm against the other man's erection which earned him a low whine.
G was an attentive but usually rather quiet lover, so Luc enjoyed seeing this side of him, enjoyed seeing him lower his guard and letting go of his tight control in so many ways.
He moved his body back, shushing the murmur of protest with open mouthed kisses he planted on G's back, following the vertebra down while his right hand worked on lowering G's pants. There was a moment when it felt like G wanted to move his hands to help, but Luc merely tightened the fingers of his left hand in warning around G's wrists for a second and the other man sunk back down, content in his submission.
Moments later, Luc managed to lower G's pants and boxers past his hips, his hand promptly roaming over newly uncovered flesh. His fingertips drifted over the crack, and he smiled at the whisper soft sigh.
Shifting slightly, he nudged G's legs a little further apart before settling more firmly against him, his hand moving around and dancing over the flesh of G's erection before closing his hand around it.
Xxxxxxx
Callen ground his hips back, distantly noting the feel of the rough denim against his skin, his mouth dropping open around a moan when Luc's fingers curled around his erection.
Everything was muted, a dull uproar of sensation while his thoughts were blissfully silent. Being manhandled by Luc in this way, being forced to submit - not through violence but simple persistence and a display of quiet determination, strength, and care - finally made the fury of the day and the pain of the last weeks become distant and ebb away, made him slow down in a way that allowed him to stop thinking and just feel.
Luc was firm in his stance, only allowing for little movement and time and again reasserting his dominance through small gestures - keeping him from helping in undressing or changing his stance with a little nudge.
Unable to do or decide anything, only allowed to feel, Callen closed his eyes, savoring his lover's presence, his touches and his strength. He gave himself over, sinking deeper and deeper into himself. He was certain that he missed some time, submerged in a pool of desire and sensation, only resurfacing when he felt a fingertip at his entrance. Breathing deeply, catching the strong scent of his partner's cologne mixing with his sweat, he relaxed when Luc pressed forward, the finger slowly breeching him, somewhat rough with just the lubrication of spit.
He didn't mind the roughness, a sensual contrast to the forceful care his partner had wrapped him in so far.
Focusing on the sensation, he gave himself over to the other man, on the one hand wanting to urge him on and on the other relishing every moment of feeling, of letting go.
One after the other, Luc added several more fingers, scissoring him open, brushing his fingertips over his prostrate every now and then, adding stimulus and making him pant with arousal. Eventually, Luc withdrew his fingers. Callen remained pliant, even though a whine escaped him at the loss of intimate contact.
Luc shushed him with a wordless murmur and a brush of a kiss beneath his ear. Turning his head, opening himself up even more, he relaxed into the kiss when Luc's lips found his. It was the first kiss they shared since this had begun, and Callen allowed his mouth to fall open when Luc's tongue flicked over his lips. His lover took over, dominating the kiss the same way he was dominating everything about this encounter and Callen willingly gave himself over to the other man. They kissed in a slide of lips and tongues, messy and filthy and sloppy, barely stopping to breathe, only breaking apart when Luc nudged his hips forward, slowly pushing inside.
He couldn't hold back the moan, the tremble running through him as Luc pressed forward in slow motion. Finally buried to the hilt, both of them stilled, Luc's breath harsh against the back of his neck. Some part of him wanted to take some control back, but the rest of him relished in not having to make any decisions, of being able to let go and allow his lover to take this wherever he wanted. Allowing himself to go with the flow, he let himself relax even further, concentrating on the body of his lover blanketing him, surrounding him.
Luc seemed to react to the way he basically melted into the countertop, his lover's arm wrapping around Callen's body and holding him closer before he slowly started moving his hips, tiny undulations rather than strong thrusts.
Allowing his eyes to close once more, he let his head fall back down, the cool countertop a contrast to his heated skin. Luc's movements slowly strengthened, and Callen met him in his thrusts, using what little space Luc granted him to participate more actively.
Desire flashed through him, and arousal steadily rose.
Callen let out a moan when Luc's fingers once more closed around his erection, stroking him in time to his quickening thrusts.
Tethering on the edge, he curled his fingers around the edge of the counter, Luc's hand tightening around his wrist before the other man levered himself up a little, changing the angle of his thrusts, hitting his prostrate on every upstroke, bringing him that much closer to hurtling over the edge.
Luc's lips closed over the flesh of his shoulder, sucking and biting, and Callen finally felt his fragile grip on control snap, coming with a hoarse shout, distantly noticing Luc following him over the edge only moments later.
Aftershocks racing through him, Callen panted, his lover's body pressed tightly to his and in turn pressing him against the solid countertop beneath.
Long moments later, Luc's hold on him changed, his left hand releasing its grip around Callen's wrists. He was distantly aware of the feeling of loss of security at that move, too sated to be astonished or alarmed by the sentiment for the moment though. Still, he used the newfound freedom to reach for Luc's hand with his own, tangling their fingers together while with his right hand he reached back and buried his fingers in his lover's hair, holding him close while they still rode out the aftershocks of climax together.
Thought process slowly reestablished itself, but the glow of satisfied exhaustion mixed with quiet calmness. He felt settled in a way he hadn't felt in weeks, as if finally having found his center again.
Callen turned his head, seeking and finding Luc's lips and brushing a gentle kiss against them, apology for his previous behavior and gratitude both. Luc's lips morphed into a smile under his, acceptance and reassurance.
Shifting back, Luc slowly levered himself up and away, slowly withdrawing from Callen's body at the same time. Callen closed his eyes and allowed himself a few more moments of perching over the countertop before slowly straightening up as well.
Toeing off his shoes, he shimmied out of the jeans and boxers that were pooled around his ankles before drawing the tattered remains of his shirt off his shoulders. He glanced back at Luc, arching an eyebrow while he held up the two halves of the shirt his lover had cut, still buttoned at the front.
A soft laugh escaped him at the expressions that flickered over Luc's face… sheepishness and satisfaction, coupled with a hint of arousal that appeared when his lover's eyes drifted away from the fabric and over Callen's naked body instead.
Feeling an answering tug of desire, Callen bit back the moan. Instead, he breathed deeply, yet again catching his partner's scent and only making his desire flare all the harder. He tilted his head slightly to the side, loosening his stance and allowing himself to relax. "Shower?" he asked in a murmur.
Luc's answer came without words, closing the distance between them with several steps and once more bringing their bodies into contact. There was a sharp contrast between Callen's nakedness and Luc's mostly clothed form. It also brought into contrast the lingering effects of Luc's dominance over their last encounter and Callen was somewhat stunned to realize he didn't mind, would actually consider not grabbing back for control to level the field just yet, but would instead consider submitting to his partner again, content in the blissful silence of his previously troubled mind.
Reaching for Luc and holding him close, Callen buried his face in the other man's throat, inhaling deeply. Luc's arms wrapped around him in answer, and they simply stood together for several silent moments, relishing the deepening connection between them, the strengthening bond of trust.