[ending A, part 2]
Gaara and Kankuro decided to end their relationship before it goes too far. Kankuro also ends up marrying a couple of years later.
Hayate, Kankuro's son, notices something about the way his uncle looks at his dad, but instead of being disturbed, he wants to know more.
Hayate was 10 when he noticed something... strange about his uncle Gaara. He really loved his uncle, he was the second greatest man in his life, after his father obviously. Yet he could not stop himself from feeling like something wasn't like it should be.
They were at a diner the sand sibling had decided to do to catch up a bit, life not leaving them all the time they might want together. Everyone was listening to a story his father was recounting, something about a mission he did alone with success. Hayate had already heard it many times but was never tired of hearing about it none the least.
He wouldn't be able to tell what compelled him to look towards his uncle sitting at the end of the table alone, but he did when everyone else eyes were on Kankuro. And this is when he saw it in his eyes. This look he had caught very short glimpses of in the past.
The way he was looking at his father was different from the usual as if knowing no one was looking at him unlocked something. The way he was looking at Kankuro was different from how he was looking at anyone else.
It wasn't the usual fondness and love he has for Temari and Kankuro, something they both had towards him too after finally becoming a real family when the time managed to heal the injuries caused by a rough start. This was the same kind of eyes Hayate would receive, clearly being loved by his uncle, the man always here when he had problems he couldn't talk about with his parents.
It wasn't the same type of fondness and affection he had towards Naruto. The two men were clearly very close friends, a friendship he didn't seem to have with anyone else. It wasn't either the similar, but less deep, affcetion he had towards the other people he viewed as friends, like his uncle Shikamaru.
No, it was none of that, what he had seen in the man eyes when looking at people he loved. It's only when he glanced back to his parents that everything finally fell into place. The look in his eyes was the same his mother had for his father.
A love he had for no one else, something deeper than one of a brother or friend.
Hayate was confused by this discovery, unsure how someone could look at his brother with such love. He had to double-check he wasn't looking at his mother, yet it was really clear his uncle was looking at Kankuro. He felt like he had stumbled upon something he shouldn't know and feel outraged at it.
Yet he somehow couldn't. He couldn't hate his uncle for something he didn't understand yet, only sadden a bit by the sadness accompanying these eyes. He never liked seeing his uncle sad, which had been rare occasions when the man believed no one was looking.
But Hayate had to make sure, so in the following visit he had with his father he would observe more attentively his uncle, and surely, he found these loved filled eyes more than once, always towards his father. This was enough to fuel his curiosity in the matter.
One day, when Gaara was over for diner, he decided to ask. He waited for both his parents to be back in the kitchen, having the feeling this wasn't something to ask in front of his parents. He went back to the living room, finding his uncle silently sipping his tea, somewhat lost in thoughts.
When he sat down next to him he saw the man slowly emerged out of this state, looking down at him with a small smile, most likely guessing he had a question, like he often did. Hayate seemed to hesitate, looking back towards the kitchen, before finally asking him "do you love dad?".
The man seemed a bit taken aback by the question, an amused look growing on his face with a little something he couldn't decipher. "Of course I do, he's my brother after all" he received. The child wasn't satisfied with this answer, feeling like his uncle was playing around words to seem as though he didn't understand what he meant.
He was going to ask again, only for his mother to interrupt him by saying everything would soon be ready. He knew when the man stood up he wouldn't get a better answer. This didn't kill his curiosity, only showing him it would be hard.
Later in the month, when his mother was away on a mission, he decided to ask his father. Kankuro was cleaning his puppets like he usually does, so he simply joined him while trying to clean his own small puppet.
"Dad, can siblings fall in love with each other the same way you and mom did?".
This made the puppeteer nearly choke on the tea he was drinking, clearly not expecting his son to break the peaceful silence for this kind of question. He managed to calm his coughing, looking back at Hayate, yet the young boy didn't seem like he would accept the dismissal of his question. And he wouldn't.
"Well... no, siblings can't get to love each other like this" he started, somewhat confirming what the young boy thought. "Why?" Then ask Hayate, scared his uncle might be doing something very bad.
Kankuro seemed like he wasn't sure how to explain why to a ten year old. He saw his dad look around a bit unsure, before starting again "you know, they are already important to each other, they cannot just start loving each other more than they already do, this is not something that should happen" he lied. He would probably need to touch that again later, but for now, it would do.
"Why did you suddenly ask?" He then asked carefully, looking at his son. Hayate was silent for a moment, as though he was still thinking about what he was just told, before finally saying "I heard other children talk about it" he simply said. He was scared that if he said he believed is uncle was in love with his dad, it would backfire against Gaara and make him sadder that he must already be.
"I see" smiled his dad, something strange flashing in his eyes. Later in years, when Hayate would think back to this instant, he would understand that this flash had been relief.
Then a couple of years went by, Hayate keeping his role of observer whenever he could. This only helped him notice more sign of how much Gaara was in love with Kankuro, despite trying to hide it and clearly forget about it. All the glances filled with a love he shouldn't have, all the little physical contact he would try but stop himself, sometimes indulging only for a short moment.
Seeing him like this made him wonder why he didn't try finding someone else. Then he remembered hearing about failed attempts at that. And he supposed it wasn't something easy to get over.
Then one day when he was 13, both his uncle and aunt were staying over, having been invited by his dad. He had noticed all the usual, yet something new decided to hit him that night.
He had gotten up in the middle of the night, needing to drink some water for his dried throat. On his way to the kitchen, he passed by one of the large opening giving on the inner garden of the house, coming back on his track when he realised someone was outside near a fire.
He found his father and uncle sitting near it, the moonlight helping him define better what he was seeing. The two men were sitting so close to one another, his father arm around his uncle's shoulder, leaning on one another. They were looking so... intimate, being this close to one another. He had first wanted to join them, but upon seeing this he decided to hide behind the wall.
He was too far to hear what they were talking about, but it seemed to makes them both happy. They seemed as though they were in their own bubble, completely cut from the rest of the world now that everyone was asleep and they were left alone.
He could see all the love in his uncle's eyes, minus the usual sadness accompanying it. It was as if this moment was enough to fill all the other moment where he couldn't be like this with his brother. But then he notices something else. Something that took him by surprise.
His father eyes were reflecting the same love, looking so pleased to have this one short moment with Gaara. He hadn't expected his father to also love his brother in such a way. Maybe it was because he had always put his attention on his uncle and not both of them?
He knew is dad loves his mother, it was showing pretty well even and he wouldn't doubt it. Yet, despite all this, the love he seemed to have for his brother look to come from somewhere deeper, fuel with years of yearning for something he couldn't have.
He observed them in this intimate moment, although they seemed to force themselves not to indulge fully in these feelings. How many time had these moments happened in the past? Painfully waiting for a short time where they could be like this? Short but oh so precious times, where they could indulge just a bit in what they both wanted, without crossing a defined line to keep everything perfectly balanced.
Hayate ended up retreating silently, not wanting to break that moment, sneaking to the kitchen with light footstep and making sure to not make any sound, going back to his room after one last peak to the brothers outside.
When the morning came, it was as if nothing had happened, everything back to its usual way. He would have believed it to be all a dream if it wasn't for the small glances and smile containing more than brotherly affection thrown towards each other when no one was looking, the moment of yesterday still not fully gone.
He felt like he should be disturbed by this discovery, yet seeing his uncle happy for once made it impossible.
Then three years went by with him always as observant, this time putting more attention on his dad. The light in his eyes when he would talk about his brother, something that seemed a bit much for a brother, yet would still look perfectly normal with how close they still seem to be as a family. Except he knew why. At some point it became unbearable to look at them act as though nothing was there, only hurting each other, especially his uncle.
This is why, when he went to live with his uncle for a month due to his parents going on a longer mission, did he decide to finally confront his uncle.
No playing around with words anymore, he wasn't a naive ten years old unable to argue back. Though he would need to find way to approach the subject without it being dismissed. He did put this a bit at the back of his mind, wanting to enjoy his time with his uncle, training with him to better his puppeteer skills, something that would be good as Gaara had trained many times with his father, rather used to such techniques.
He was supposed to train with his uncle, finishing preparing when he found some face paint in the man bathroom, surprising him a bit. The teenager didn't expect to find this here, wondering if it was something his dad had forgotten in one of their stay here.
A childish urge to try it suddenly came to him, wondering how he would look in it. He had always been interested in the patterns his father would paint on his face, having played around a bit too when he was younger. Yet, this time it came out better than what his younger self did.
He was rather proud of the dark purple around his eyes, one large dot at the corner of each eye. There was one nearly fully straight line crossing from one side of his face to the other, passing on his nose, similar to one of his dad older painting. He had finished it with a straight line from his lower lips to under his chin.
It could be better, but for a first try it wasn't bad, maybe he could ask his father for help when he was back. With this done he quickly went downstairs, running to the large inner garden where his uncle was using sand to move around things that would be in the way. They were only practising Taijutsu for now, but he didn't want to have to replace everything because they went overboard.
"Gaara, look what I found," he said excitedly. The man had turned towards him, wondering what had caused him to be suddenly this excited. Then the man seemed to freeze, nearly dropping the teacup he was holding.
This made Hayate pause, not expecting this reaction, only for the realisation to dawn on him: this face paint was similar to something his father had worn in the past. He had often been told he had many of his father's features, maybe the paint made him look even more like his father. This made him feel a bit bad, as he didn't think about it and how he might react.
Yet, his uncle still smiled, something hiding behind it. "This looks rather good on you" he commented, "for a moment I thought your father had come back younger" he joked a bit. "I really look like him?" he then asked curiously, receiving a positive hum. "If you want to create something more original I can help you if you want, I am rather used to this paint". Of course, he would be, he could easily see his uncle helping his dad with the paint.
Then his uncle sat the teacup on a table, placing his hands behind his back, the initial shock fully gone now. "lets start now that you are ready" he said with a smile.
Hayate moved to be on the opposite of him, stretching a bit "I want something if I win this time" he then asked, making the older man arch a brow, curious. "If I win I want you to honestly answer one of my questions" he then explained.
The Kazekage looked as though he was trying to see what he could be searching for him to put it as a reward. He seemed a bit unsure, but whatever thoughts he had was then pushed away as though it couldn't possibly be it. "I accept this condition" he then replied, not giving a counter for his win, he could think about it.
Hayate knew he would need to focus well, sure taijutsu was neither of their strong point, but Gaara still had more years of practice than him. The man always had his sand around him, Suna being one of his most advantageous battlegrounds, yet he couldn't neglect his taijutsu. It was the same for Hayate, it was all good when he was far from the opponent, but if he couldn't at least defend himself he would get killed one day.
And so the fight started his uncle clearly not always using his whole, which was admittedly a bit annoying. After some time though, he was getting visibly a bit tired, yet despite that, he still had the upper hand.
Noticing that if he wasn't doing something now he would lose, Hayate tried seeing what he could do. What came to his mind wasn't fair, but not every enemy would play fair, would they? He simply needed a distraction.
"Uncle, are you in love with father?".
This did the work very well, making the older man waver in his defence and created an opening. He took advantage of it, attacking to make sure he couldn't counter him. He was going to make him fall to the ground, but most likely out of instinct, sand came to circle him and pull him away, some catching the Kazekage before he could hit the ground.
They stayed in this weird set up for a while, both slowly calming down from the fight. For a moment the teenager thought he might have gone too far, his uncle not reacting. Then he was put back down on the ground, the man finally getting himself up.
When he looked up, he found a determined-looking nephew, his stance screaming "I won". Clearly, he knew he couldn't run from it, looking away from Hayate with a glimpse of worries and fear in his eyes.
"Why are you asking such a silly question?" he asked, the young man feeling like his uncle knew he wouldn't just give up easily.
"Because I saw how you are looking at dad when you think no one is looking," he said, taking a step closer only to stop when this made the man tense up more. "Because I want to know why you decide to suffer on the side when dad gets to be happy with mom" he then continued, frowning a bit. "Because I am so confused about how you two can love each other like this despite everyone telling me this is wrong" he added with shaky hands. "Because over the years I saw how sad and lonely you seemed to be when looking at my parents, never getting better" his voice was starting to lower. "Because I don't understand how you can love me so much when I come from someone that took away from you".
This had been something he had thought about many times in recent months. He had heard of people in love with someone they stay friend with, only to despise the children coming from them. He had been scared that maybe the way his uncle was treating him was all a facade, yet he would always find back a loving uncle who would always be there if he needed it.
He had his answer when he saw what look the man was giving him. Even without words, he knew the man was loving him dearly. How could he have hated him? When he was also someone very dear to Kankuro. He might never have been on good term with his mother, but he could never have hated the little boy who had done nothing wrong.
He tried calming himself down, years of confusion, worries and looking around finally being laid down. If he didn't get the whole story, he wanted at least to be told if he was right or not. His uncle still seemed apprehensive about all of this, looking around a bit. Clearly, he could see how upset his nephew was and outside wasn't the greatest place to talk about it. He took in a shaky breath, closing his eyes as he tried to take back a more confident stance. "Let's... go inside to talk," he said.
And they did just that, going back inside where Gaara went to make some tea, the teenager sitting at the counter. The older man back was facing him, clearly tense. By looking more attentively he saw sand running over the other skin as if trying to be comforted a little bit, something he had seen him do in the past.
"Are you scared?" he asked, making his uncle tense a bit more, not answering. "If it can reassure you... I won't tell anyone" he promised, before adding "I don't hate you either" he clarified, feeling like he might be scared about that. He was relieved to seem him relax, it wasn't by much, but even a little bit was enough.
He waited for the tea to be ready and for the Kazekage to come to join him, leaving this time for the man to prepare himself. "What do you want to know?" he asked, looking into his tea rather than his nephew. "Are you in love with my dad?" he asked again, only receiving a nod as if the man couldn't bring himself to say it aloud. "Since when?".
The redhead seemed to hesitate, or maybe he was trying to calculate exactly how long? After a moment of silence he received his answer "Way before you were born, or for Kankuro to meet you mother" he replied. This was... a long time of love he was talking about. He tried creating a timeline, yet he couldn't remember when his parents said they meet when they were younger.
"Why didn't you try finding someone else, wouldn't it have been easier?" he asked, although he started to doubt it would have been. Had it been really that much easier for his dad? Had the puppeteer really had it easier now that he was with his Mother? He already knew the answer to this question from looking at him, but he would still like the believe it was the case at least for one of them.
"You know how Suna is, I managed to change laws, but I would still be unable to find someone while staying the Kazekage" he replied. Gaara would most likely never had been able to openly be in a relationship with another man, let alone marry him. "I did try a couple of times, always while hiding from the public eyes, but it simply never worked out and it always came back at the end of the day".
Hayate simply nodded at this, looking down at his tea. He really must have been loving his father a lot for not being able to overcome these feeling over the years. He supposed his father love was just the same.
"Did you and dad... ever got, you know, in a relationship?" he asked, his uncle frowning a bit as some worries came back in his eyes, a bit confused as to why his nephew assumed Kankuro was the same. "I... I saw you both one time, acting rather intimate and looking at each other with love" he admitted, before quickly adding "But I never told anyone! And am sure no one else saw it!".
He couldn't tell if this reassured him, but the man looked a bit less fearful. The man was gripping his teacup so tightly he was nearly scared it would break in his grip, not answering. His lack of reply was enough to tell Hayate the answer, yet he waited as the older man seemed to debate whether to tell him or not.
"We did" finally came a weak answer, the teenager nearly missing it. "But... it couldn't go on, it was too dangerous and we both knew it wasn't... right". 'but it must have felt so right to them', thought the young puppeteer, not interrupting him. "Stopping it was the right thing," he said as if trying to convince himself of these words, "but it doesn't overwrite feelings".
He suddenly saw the man close on himself, shoulder jumping a bit as if he was trying to keep in sobs. Hayate realised quickly they had struck a sensitive memory, otherwise, it wouldn't have brought him to tears. Gaara had never been the best with emotion, most likely a result of his childhood, never showing them really openly. For him to cry like this, it was rather destabilising for the young man. He was used to being comforted, not the other way around.
He got up, hesitantly going to his uncle side. He hesitated a bit before taking him in his arms, trying to calm him down by rubbing circles on his back. He was a little bit happy to feel arms hugging him back, at least his uncle wouldn't try to bottle it all up like he must have done in the past. "I love him so much" he heard whispered, feeling like this must have been something he had always wanted to say to someone. "But we can't... we just can't, so I have to act like a good brother" he kept going.
His ramblings and sob were something very unfamiliar to Hayate, yet he kept on listening. He could feel it was doing some good to the redhead, feeling, thoughts, guilt and many other emotions that had been caged in for so long, unable to tell anyone about it.
Hayate knew he shouldn't be alright with these confirmed hypotheses, that he should be disgusted, that he should convince his uncle to change. Yet all he could do was trying to comfort the man that had always taken care of him when he could, who had always suffered in silence on the side. He couldn't bring himself to change how he saw his father and uncle, still loving them both as much as before. Maybe he shouldn't, maybe he wouldn't feel the same if it had been others, but he simply knew he did still love them both.
Maybe Gaara would never be able to forget about these feeling, but at least now he had someone he could rely on.
He wasn't simply an observer anymore, Hayate had jumped into a well-kept secret and would instead help to keep it too.