[ending A, part 3]

Temari is helping her brother move out of his house for one which is father from the centre of the village.
She stumbles upon unsent letters, although she wishes she hadn't.

Temari was walking around her brother's house, memories coming back to her. Gaara had decided to move out to go to a house a bit more on the outskirt of the village, wanting to be left in peace. After thirty-five years of being the Kazekage, Gaara was leaving his seat to his nephew, Hayate. It had surprised many people, as the man wasn't anywhere near unable to be a good leader and was still in good health. He wasn't really old either, some Kage having been able to lead until older than he was now.

Yet, after thirty-five years of duty, the man was tired. His childhood had been rather hard, and when things finally started to be a bit better he was pushed towards Kazekage title, which he took and carried on until now. Dying once, winning a great war had also been rather hard events and at this point, he simply wanted some peace.

Neither Temari nor Kankuro tried to stop him, understanding his choice. He had made sure Hayate wanted and was ready to take on such a title, explaining how hard it could be and the hard choice he might need to make in the future. Only the clan head had sounded reluctant, but Gaara had made it rather clear he wasn't taking their opinion into consideration.

Hence why she was now helping him move out. She had been scared he might decide to move away completely, it was something she had nearly felt coming from him, wanting to move somewhere that would be less harsh on him. After learning about her brother preferences in men, she could understand why one would rather move away. Maybe Hayate would be able to move further what his uncle had tried doing in that regard.

She entered the office, the last room that really needed to be put into boxes. It shouldn't be too hard, as it was mostly scrolls and books that had accumulated over the years. Despite her brother telling her she could throw everything in boxes without caring about it being organised, only to make sure it was well stacked, Temari still tried to keep it well organised. Like this, it would easier on the redhead when he would need to put everything into new bookshelves.

It took a while, yet it was a relaxing thing to do, looking sometimes with curiosity what were the books Gaara had accumulated over the years. There were more novels than she would have expected, accompanied by many training scrolls and informative books on diverse subjects.

Temari thought she was finally done when a flatter box atop one of the bookshelves caught her attention. Had not she used the stool to made sure one last time she wasn't missing anything from the shelf she would have missed it. It was as if Gaara had tried to hid it.

She decided to pull it off, setting it on the desk. The wooden box was rather plain, somewhat faint desert flower engraved in its dark wood. It was in good condition as if it hadn't travelled around much, yet it must have been touched recently since there wasn't really a layer of dust on it.

Temari then opened it, surprised to be met with neat little stacks of letters, all well folded. From the colour of the paper, she understood some of these must have been from years ago. For how long had her brother collected these? From who were they for him to seemingly keep so many of them?

Her curiosity was peeked and despite knowing she shouldn't be doing this, she decided to take a look. The kunoichi fished out what she assumed to be the oldest one, her eyes widening a bit when she realised the oldest one dated from nearly twenty-five years ago. Had Gaara been in a secret relationship and they never knew of it? But why wouldn't he have told them? It wasn't like her ad Kankuro didn't know he had been with men in the past.

"September 15, 16XX

This feels so strange to write, but Naruto said it might help me with these feeling I have for you."

Temari had a small smile on her face, realising this was her brother's writing. How strange, had the Hokage suggested he write as though he was writing to his lover?

"These past months have been so hard without you at my side all the time. I know I am the one who suggested we stop this relationship before it goes even farther, but the yearning is still as strong as it was that day."

The smile on the woman lips slowly faded, realising this wasn't a happy story she was stumbling onto. Had her brother always stay alone because of a love he couldn't have? This didn't make sense. What could have been so bad for them to break off when they seemingly were this in love with one another.

"I wish you weren't always away on missions, risking your life for orders I am giving to you. If only I could tell you again how I love you and feel your arm reassuring me that everything will be alright. Maybe if you were to do it one more time it would help to fill this gaping hole I have in my chest. Or maybe it would make it worst?

This feels so silly to write down, I doubt I'll do this again.

With love, Gaara"

So this other person was also a ninja? Somehow she wasn't exactly surprised, it wasn't like the redhead was having much time outside of his duty, of course, ninjas were the ones he was hanging around the most.

Despite knowing she shouldn't be snooping around in something as intimate as her brother's thought, she really wanted to know who this person who had broken her brother's heart was. He could most likely have fought more for their love.

She then scanned through the next ones quickly, trying to find hints of who it was, or even a name, always making sure not to mess up how the letters were placed. A weird feeling started to settle into her when the information she gathered sounded oh too familiar.

"I hope the mission to Amegakure isn't too rough, I know spying missions where you don't move a lot aren't your favourite. Also hoping for your arm injury is healing quickly"

"I wish I could have joined you when you went eating hamburger steak with the other shinobi."

"I miss the morning where I could help with your face paint, you looked so relaxed when I was applying it on you. Purple truly fits you."

"Looking at you working and cleaning your puppets is relaxing and one of the only moment you seemed able to be around me without problems. Wish it would happen more often."

"Temari told me you found a nice lady when you were on a mission. I hope things turn out alright."

All of these were too familiar to Temari, her heart beating fast in her chest. There was no way this was what she thought it was. As careful as she was, she kept going quickly, until she found the name she didn't want to read in these letters.

"Kankuro. I haven't written this name in so long outside of reports. When was the last time I said it aloud?"

The kunoichi needed to put down the paper as to not crease it, her hand shaky as she took it to her mouth, shocked. It couldn't be possible, right? This must have been a mistake. This letter couldn't have been intended for his lover, it had slipped there by accident.

After taking a shaky breath, she placed all these old letters in there place, quickly going over the following one, looking for a specific year and month. She hesitated when she found a letter on the exact day she was looking for, before finally opening it.

"May 06, 16XX

The ceremony today was absolutely beautiful, so was the reception. I will have to apologise for not being able to stay until the end, a problem came up and I needed to go. But I know you won't be mad at me for it.

You were really beautiful today, the happiness on your face made me believe that at least one of us managed to get a happy ending. I still wish I could have been the one at your side, but I know it is useless to fantasies about such things. It will never happen.

Hope you didn't saw me crying between the ceremony and the reception, or that you didn't notice it either. I wouldn't want to ruin your big day because of feelings I can't throw away despite it all.

I suppose now I will have to keep this shut inside even more. I won't have the right to ever tell you again that I lov-"

Temari's eyes were starting to tear up, all of this starting to be too much. But it was also as if she could feel her brother's sadness in this letter. The handwriting that was getting shakier further you read, the stain of what she assumed might be tears, the way the message cuts off as though he couldn't finish it, how this letter wasn't as neatly folded as the others. Everything was screaming her brother's pain in this letter, written on a day he should have been filled with joy for Kankuro. He probably had been, somewhere mixed with this pain.

She kept going, reading fragments of her brother's life, reading through his wounded heart who couldn't forget this love he shouldn't have had. Reading about little detail he noticed of Kankuro. Reading about feeling like Kankuro's wife might not like him. Reading how, contrary to what he thought he might do, didn't hate Hayate. Reading about short but precious times he managed to share with Kankuro when they were alone. Reading how worried he was when he would hear a mission was going wrong. Reading how he had tried to forget with others but didn't manage to do it, ending up alone as it was easier that way.

Reading the love Gaara had for his brother.

She managed to reach the last letter, the most recent one, written not even two days ago.

"August 23, 16XX

Finally moving out soon, I wonder if going so far away from everyone is a good idea. The last decades have been hard and I need some alone and peaceful time. Not like being alone will be something new.

I need to remember to invite you over for tea or diner more often, maybe I will have more time now to sit down and talk about everything and nothing. I really miss these days where we could just lay next to each other and talk for hours. I suppose I will only be able to sit down and do it, as it wouldn't be appropriate for you to lay down with me.

Maybe staying farther away will finally help me? I knew these feelings are still there, but at least I don't feel like dying every time I think about you going away. I hope you also managed to get rid of them with your wife, I would be sad for her if I occupy too much place in your heart. Well, in any situation I will be sad, but at least one of your love won't be.

Maybe I will permit myself to tell you I wish things could have been different? I am happy to have had you in my life as a brother, but things would have been easier if it hadn't been the case. I hope I don't make you cry like I did last time I accidentally brought these feeling up, you shouldn't be guilty of having a happy life when I'm the one who pushed you into it. When I'm the one who decided to stay where I am.

Maybe in a next life we will be luckier and will meet again, but not as brother's this time. If it does happen, I hope to fall in love with you again, and for you to do too. Like this, we might be able to fulfil this love?

Or maybe I should stop asking myself so many questions, Temari should arrive soon so I won't have more time to do so anyway.

There's something I want to tell you again, but since I won't be able to do so even in this new house, I suppose I can only write it here.

I love you.

With love, Gaara"

Temari stared blankly at the page, trying to take in all that she had read in the past... she couldn't tell how long she had been sitting there. It was too much to take in, too much she had never know, yet also so much that was making sense now. This was all so wrong, and she was happy to read they had stopped this relationship when they could. Yet, somewhere in her, she was saddened by this situation, wondering if Gaara would have managed to be less lonely and sad if they did.

With trembling hands she put everything back in its place, carefully closing the box again.

She had stumbled onto secrets she shouldn't have stumbled on. She also wishes she hadn't.

Now she didn't know what to do with these secrets.