"Hey Lieutenant, how's Severide?" Mouch asked. "He coming tonight?"

"Up and around and out," was the dismissive reply. Out somewhere. God might know where, but Casey sure as hell didn't and didn't that just piss him off. Severide was supposed to show up at Molly's, but he hadn't.

"So, we don't need to tiptoe around his big ego anymore?" Otis questioned. "His fragile emotions? His swelled up head, going off to help some Government agency…..we ever find out anything about that?"

Mouch winced, lowered his head to avoid the accusatory looks from Mills and the men from Squad 3. He hadn't known Otis was nearby, and wouldn't have brought the subject up, if he had.

"Don't." Casey said tiredly. "Just don't. Don't start with that shit." He rubbed his forehead. "Not now. Not tonight."

He couldn't deal with anything else tonight. No, tonight, the self-doubt and dread were back. After Perkins and Voight, Casey thought Severide would be supportive, curb his tendency to do what Severide wanted to do, to hell with anyone else.

Apparently not.

"No one on truck has that attitude, their shit don't stink. But Squad? Their Lieutenant? Yeah, he sucks."

Casey sucked his breath in, blinked. "What did you just say?" Had he heard right? "You got the balls to say that again?" Tonight, of all nights, he was not up to dealing with Otis. He just wasn't.

Otis didn't, moved on. "I dunno why you're so….." He paused, waved a hand. "Squad….they're a bunch of arrogant dicks. They think they're better than truck. Severide is a prick, treats everyone – his own men included – like shit and yet you tolerate it…..and him. What you let him get away with..."

"Hey!" Capp protested. "I resemble that remark."

"Watch it." Tony warned.

"Stop. Talking." Casey advised.

"Squad, squad, squad." Otis chanted. "Tell me, what makes them so special? Cause Severide's their Lieutenant? What about other houses? They all like Squad 3? You don't tolerate that attitude in anyone but Severide...why's that Lieutenant?"

"I'm going Squad." Severide told Darden and Casey. "Soon as I can."

"Always the thrill seeker." Darden laughed. "Wait and see, you're gonna get on squad, ride to our rescue."

Severide added salt to his eggs. "Don't doubt it."

"It takes years to get on Rescue Squad." Casey pointed out. "Not gonna happen right outta the academy." He received identical grins from the only two friends he'd made at the academy – and one of those kept him at arm's length. "What?"

"Watch me." Severide reached for the hot sauce. "And I'll do it on my own."

"You go squad, for you." Darden was suddenly serious. "Not your Dad. You've got nothing to prove to him Kel."

"Has nothing to do with Benny. Gotta keep you two outta trouble."

"Or us. You don't have anything to prove to us either Kel."

"He wants truck." The salt shaker tipped Casey's direction. "What better way to have your back, then to be trained on squad, am I right?"

"Okay, yeah," Darden teased. "But there aren't as many squad units in Chicago as truck units. How you gonna have our backs, your squad is across the city?"

Kelly shrugged as though it was of no concern. "I'll get what I want."

Darden lost all humor, his face went serious and his mouth pulled into a tight line. "You haven't used your connections or played your hand yet, you'd do that now?"

"If that's what it takes." Done with the discussion, Severide took his plate, got up and walked away.

"Huh," Casey snorted. "Guess he..." He went silent at the thunderous look on Darden's face. "I miss something?"

"He's an ass."

"Well, yeah." Casey agreed, then, "Connections? "

Darden crumpled his wrapper, tossed it into the trash can. "He's gonna be stupid to get what he wants."

"And that is what? He wants to go squad, let him. He's willing to put in the training, then..."

"He wants to be at the same house as you." Darden snapped angrily.

Casey was silent. "Oh. Uh, sorry?" He naturally assumed Darden was upset because Severide had somehow chosen Matt over him. "I didn't...I mean, I don't...Andy, I...he...I don't know what he's thinking." He was quiet. "I don't need him to have my back, I never asked him to do that or..."

Darden relaxed, clapped Casey on the back. "Dude, relax. He knows I'll follow him wherever he goes. Might not happen right away, but he isn't leaving me for you." He stood up. "I don't have a problem with that. I don't like hearing, after all this, he'll use favors to get what he wants."

Casey was dense and slow, he just wasn't getting what had Darden so pissed. "And that is...?"

"You." Darden started towards the door. "Even if he has to eat his words and go to his old man to get it, he wants to be at the same house as you."

"I don't have to explain any relationship I have with anyone, to you." Casey pointed out. "But hear me Otis, call him a hot head, an asshole, a prick, dick, whatever the hell you want, but don't you ever tell me he sucks." He reached for his beer, but to his dismay his hand was shaking and he quickly withdrew it, tucked it into his lap under the bar. Dammit!

"You're mad." Otis stated.

"Damn right I'm mad! You think I shouldn't be?"

"Now wait….since…what?" He was stunned over Casey's anger. "I didn't mean….."

"What? You didn't mean what? To cross a line? To attack me?"

"Attack you? What are you talking about? I didn't…how did…wait."

"I'm not stupid Otis. You don't like Severide, I get it." Would Otis understand one of the reasons Severide had gone squad was Casey? Doubtful. "But I sure as hell don't need to constantly hear it."

"I never said that!"

"You constantly bash him, and do it to my face. You question me about my friendship with him, like anything you say is going to matter to me."

"Lieutenant, I never…."

"You're never going to get me to turn on him."

"What? Where is that coming from? I never said I wanted that."

"Then stop. Just stop. My friendship with him is exactly that….mine. How we rub together is none of your business. He has my back, I can get through to him, leave it at that."

"Yeah, see, that's just it. That's my problem. It's always you reaching out to him. What makes him worth it? 'Cause honestly Lieutenant? He's not."

Casey approached Severide with a plate of hot dogs and two beers. "Hey." He set the food down, took a seat on the picnic bench opposite Severide. Here they were at a picnic, games of horseshoes and volleyball going on all around, and sitting alone and quite content, was Severide, reading some training manual.

"What?"

"What's that?"

Severide held the book up….scuba diving and underwater rescue…..right.

They were quiet. Severide was fine with silence and his own company. Casey, not so much. He cleared his throat.

"Look, about squad…."

"What about it?"

"Your dad was squad?"

"So?"

"Not the reason you want it though."

"What do you want Casey?"

"I don't need you to go squad, to have my back."

"Not about you Casey." Severide took a hot dog. "I got my reasons, stay out of it."

Casey nodded. "Right."

Silence. Casey couldn't come up with a single word to say.

Severide opened his beer, took a drink. "You have a temper and you're rash."

"Rash?"

"Reckless, impulsive." He returned his attention to the book, dismissed Casey. "If Perkins couldn't beat those traits outta you, no one can, so….yeah, going squad."

"Watch your mouth."

"He rarely ever joins the house…in…well, anything. If he does show up, he stays to himself or amuses himself some other way."

"And that affects you, how?"

"It affects everyone in the house."

"Not me," Capp said.

"Not me," echoed Tony.

"HOW!?" Casey demanded. "HOW OTIS? Tell me HOW!"

"Whoa!" Otis put both hands up. "No need to yell at me. I'm just saying, it's always about him."

"What about me? Huh Otis? Do ever stop to think, maybe it's not about Severide, but me? Can you get that?" Casey had had enough. It was time to go. Severide wasn't coming. "We do this every time he hurts your feelings or doesn't act the way you think he should." He picked his beer up, raised it to his mouth, set it down without taking a drink. "We're done. You bring it up again, we're going to have a serious problem."

"As opposed to the problem we have now?"

"And what problem is that, Otis?"

"You always put him first."

Casey looked over at Gabby, recalled an earlier spat where she accused him of never telling Severide no because they shared a bond that excluded her….hell, maybe that was true, because despite how he felt – sick to his stomach, shaky with blurred vision from a headache that, no matter what he took, wouldn't go away – he was on his way to find squad's wayward lieutenant.

"You mean, before you?" His head throbbed with every beat of his racing heart and his neck was so stiff from tension, he couldn't tilt his head left. He wanted to go home and go to bed in the dark with a cold cloth on his forehead, but no…..wasn't gonna happen. Not right away anyway. "Damn right I do, and nothing you say, is ever going to change that."

"I mean, and you know it, before what's best for the house."

Casey winced, took a breath. "Since our squad is all dicks and their leader sucks, you obviously feel safer with another squad lieutenant having your back," he slid off the stool, balanced his weight for a moment by holding onto the bar. "I'll fill out your transfer. You won't have another shift at 51."

"Wait a minute! Don't walk away from me…." Otis began. "I didn't say….hold on….Boden wants…."

"Wants peace in his house and if he has to choose between you and Severide to get it, you'll be the one wearing a new number."

Otis opened his mouth but no words came out. Casey was serious, there was nothing teasing in his manner at all. He thought about it, frowned. "It's not about his ability to do his job. I don't question his talent or dedication or his instinct. It's about him…..how he treats people, how no one calls him out on his shit."

Casey pulled his wallet, tossed some bills on the counter. "You think I deserve to lose someone else in my life? Darden, Hallie, Shay, isn't enough? I should lose Kelly too?" He turned to walk away. "I don't want to see you again Otis." And he slammed out the door of Molly's.

"You ever gonna learn?" Mills asked with a tired sigh. "Really Otis?"

"Yeah," Cruz added. "Why you gotta go and do that?"

"Do what? What'd I do?"

"Drove him outta here." Mouch muttered, head still ducked in regret for starting the entire argument.

"You upset him." Capp shook his head. It was so obvious to everyone except Otis who just didn't know when to quit. "Dumbass."

"How do you figure that?" Otis scowled. "He's just pissed, I didn't upset him." He refused to consider it. "I'm tired of being talked down to because of Severide."

"Then stop throwing Severide in his face." Tony glared.

"You got him calling him Kelly. The hell Otis?" Mills glared scornfully. "How can you not know what that means?"

"You need to learn when to back off." Mouch raised his head. "Don't be so dense."

"Might have pushed over the line too far this time." Herrmann advised, moved off to serve a customer.

Otis finished his beer, sulked. He didn't like arguing with his lieutenant, but he also didn't like seeing him upset because of something Severide had said or done or didn't do. Squad's lieutenant had a special way of getting under his skin and the half-ass shit of it was – Severide didn't even know he bothered Otis!

"What happened to Severide isn't Casey's fault." Otis said sullenly.

"Who said it was?" Mills questioned.

"Severide implied it."

"When?" Tony demanded. "When Otis? Tell me when. When did you see him since Casey brought him back from Indiana?"

"He didn't." Capp backed up Tony's tone, defensive stance, his demeanor. "No one has 'cause he's been home and Casey's kept everyone away."

True. All true. Otis hadn't seen Severide since the government agents had shown up on scene and driven away with him several days ago. But Gabby had. And Otis had ears. What Gabby said to one person might not make much sense, but when she spoke to different people over the course of a couple days, the story began to add up.

"This Perkins guy didn't like Casey way back from the academy days." Otis said. "He stuck it to Severide to piss off Casey."

"He didn't do anything to Severide." Mills corrected. "It was a combination of heat, dehydration and medication."

"He did it to himself." Tony kinda smiled. "He wasn't supposed to be outside without our medics around. He knew that and he did it anyway."

"No one blames Casey." Capp added. "You hafta blame someone, blame Boden, he's the one who let Severide go."

"You don't get it." Money on the counter, Mills slid off his stool. "Casey is upset Otis. Can't you see that?" He pulled on a hoodie, zipped it, pulled the hood up. "Why do you have to add to it?"

"Yes, he's upset because Severide went off solo and pulled another stupid stunt." Otis stressed. "As always."

"He's upset," Mills paused to stress his point. "Because he called the man who threatened him, had him beaten up, set him and Hallie up for a 15-year prison sentence, for a favor." He wanted to shake Otis until his teeth clattered. "To get Severide back?" He added at Otis's blank look. "Do you see how that might upset him?"

"Voight?" Otis guessed. He hadn't heard that eavesdropping on Gabby's conversations about their trip to Indiana. "No. I don't believe it. No."

"Yeah, Voight." Tony drawled. "That guy. Remember him?"

"Didn't you see his hand shaking? Why do you have to be a dick about it?" Mills waved bye to Gabby, who came to stand beside Otis behind the bar. "Let it go Otis. Move on."

"Wait…..wait…." Otis held a hand up. "Wait….Casey called Voight? Called him, himself?"

"From the hospital in Indiana." Tony said. "Yeah."

"You knew about this?" Otis exclaimed. Tony and Capp nodded. Otis turned a circle of disbelief, grabbed the bar with both hands. "Mills was there, so…okay, but how does everyone know about this, but me?"

"Simple." Capp snarked. "We asked."

"Asked what?"

"Why Casey was on edge, jumpy." Tony shrugged. "What, you didn't notice?"

"Don't drink and drive," Gabby told Mills with a smirk, "But if you drive drunk, drive home real fast."

Mills smiled, began to tell her he'd had only one beer and was good to drive, but Otis was oblivious to the fact she was teasing and scolded her for uttering such a phrase, cited both their profession and responsibility as owners of the bar when Mills pointed out it was a joke, and he got it.

Mills winked at Gabby, "Night Dawson. Come on Tony, I'm too tired to pull Otis outta whatever crate or box you stuff him into." He headed out with Tony, Capp on their heels. "And Otis, I hear even a whisper that you blame Severide for that phone call, I'll help Tony fold you into a pretzel and stuff you into a keg."

"What?" Otis demanded when the trio had left and Gabby rolled her eyes. "Not you too."

She removed empty glasses, bottles, wiped the counter. "Not about Severide Otis."

"Yeah, right." He snorted. "Everything in the house is. I tried living with him and Shay, thinking….." He paused. "He was always moody….sometimes hostile."

"And I live with him now." She snapped back, causing Otis to raise his eyebrows. "He's an ass Otis, no doubt about it, but when Matt needs him, he's there. Maybe not how you think he should be, but he is."

"And yet, since he got back, he hasn't been here or visited the station." Otis pointed out. "Makes everything about himself."

"Or maybe," Mouch drawled. "With Casey jumping outta his skin over calling Voight for a favor, maybe, just maybe, Severide is doing what Casey needs and staying home. You ever think that?"

"Hey now," Herrmann said easily. "Severide has been home on doctor's orders, can't be mad at him for once doing what he's told."

"Matt can't lose him." Gabby threw the dishrag at Otis who let it hit him in the shoulder. "Think about how Matt feels, what he needs and stop nagging on him about how Kelly's behaving and sharing your feelings about why you don't think Matt should consider him a friend."

Otis looked around, but he stood alone.

()()()

Casey fled Molly's, hopped in his truck, headed out. He drove past Severide's favorite haunts; bars, pool hall, restaurants, pubs, clubs, strip clubs. He even drove to the station, idled outside, hoping if he blinked enough times, he'd magically see the car he was looking for, but the classic muscle car failed to appear, so he called it a night, gave up and went home.

Gabby greeted him with a hug, didn't ask where'd he been – she knew. She'd finished her shift at Molly's and come home to an empty apartment.

"Didn't find him?" She curled up on the couch next to him, rested her cheek on his shoulder. He'd collapsed into the corner, propped his feet up on the coffee table.

"Guessing he's not here." Here was home. Severide had moved in with them after the loss of Shay. His attempt to find stability and support. He had both, and though at first it hadn't gone well, things were better now.

"Babe, I would have called you."

Right. Had his headache not reached whatever level was above migraine, he might have been able to think clearly. "Right, yeah. Right." The more time passed that he didn't show, Casey had gone from angry to worried to upset to angry to pissed off at Otis. "Shit."

"Did you try Erin's?" She asked. They'd expected Kelly to show up at Molly's, but he hadn't, and no one had heard him from since he'd been allowed to go to the doctor's office alone late that afternoon. "I know they don't date anymore, but he turns to her when he needs someone to talk to."

"Drove past. Dark. Didn't see his car."

Severide had been restricted to the apartment since returning home from the hospital in Indiana, but after his Dr's appointment, he'd called to say he'd been released from house arrest and allowed to resume his normal, daily activities. And typical Kelly, first day of freedom and he'd up and pulled a Severide….disappeared without a word to anyone.

"His dad's place?"

"Not there either."

"Guess you didn't drive up to the cabin where you found him after he fled, uh, after Shay?"

"I didn't."

"Was that his dad's cabin?"

"No."

"Did you go there?"

"No. Not sure where it is." He blew his breath out, put an arm around her shoulders. "It's not far though, an hour or so I'd guess. I can call Benny, get the address."

"He has other friends, right? What about an ex-girlfriend? Maybe one swung into town? They're holed up in a hotel."

"Possible."

"What about Grissom?"

"Doubt it."

She traced circles on his arm, patted the back of his hand. "His phone goes straight to voicemail?"

"What?"

"Is his phone off? Or does it ring when you call him?"

"Oh." Silence. "Um."

She lifted her head, pulled back. "You did try and call him?" She questioned, quirking an eyebrow. "Didn't you?" Silence. "Matt?"

"Um."

"Jesus Matt, you've been driving round for over an hour, and you never called him?" She leaned forward, snagged her cell off the table. "Kelly? Hi, you coming home tonight?" She wrinkled her nose at Casey. She'd learned how to somewhat handle Kelly by watching Matt do it – you didn't jump at him with accusations or questions that made him defensive. "Because it's 2 a.m. and mom and dad want to go to bed, that's why." She giggled as Casey tickled the bottom of her foot. "Where are you?" She pulled her foot back, smile fading. "You're with who?"

Casey huffed at her look. Where the hell would Severide go to lick his wounds that would make her make that face? Though what wounds he was off licking, Casey didn't know. He'd kept everyone away from the apartment while Severide had been 'recovering', so, he hadn't been able to fight with anyone...'less Otis had dropped by...

"Who's that? I don't know…we don't…..Matt, do you know a Mrs. O'Grady?"

Severide had been raised with manners and believe it or not, he still retained some. He'd bed any available woman, but if he referred to a woman as Mrs., she was elderly and he wasn't warming her bed.

Casey shook his head. He probably did, but was too tired, too emotionally drained to think clearly about past people in Severide's life.

"You went there for supper?" She was saying. "Kelly! Look at a clock! It's the middle of the night!"

"Tell him to come home." Matt sat up. "Now." He waggled his fingers for the phone. "Gimme."

"They had supper, then they worked a jigsaw. He fell asleep watching a movie….she's lonely." Gabby related the story Severide was telling to Casey. "So he….."

"Give me the damn phone!" She let him have it. Seeing Perkins, letting him take Severide, the drive to Indiana, the not knowing what happened, the stand-off, the phone call to Voight….didn't matter a couple of days had passed…..his argument with Otis, the general animosity of the man, the aimless driving, the attempt to recall every place Severide might go…the hope that'd he be home when Casey got there…the beginning of panic, the fading of confidence…..how stupid he felt for not thinking to call!...had all combined to make him so tense, nothing eased his headache that had taken up residence the day he'd watched Perkins drive away with Severide. "You have 30 minutes to get your ass in this house or you'll be chewing on one side of your mouth for a month."

He disconnected, threw the phone onto the cushion next to Gabby, ran his hands over his face, took deep breaths.

"And you want kids." Gabby teased.

"Can we ground him? Let's ground him."

"Please, let me be ready with a camera when you do it. I want everyone to see his face." She giggled.

He sat forward, elbows on his spread knees, stared at the floor. "I can't go through more weeks of him not coming home, not knowing where he is. I can't."

"Then tell him that." She stood up. "I don't agree with the way you handle him, but I can't deny it works. Make a sandwich while you wait." She bent over, kissed the top of his head. She knew he wouldn't go to bed until Kelly was home. "Good night."

Casey sat at the table, eating cookies and milk, wanting to trust he hadn't been lied to. He'd taken some Excedrin migraine for his headache but knew from experience the only thing that would relieve it, was time and...Severide.

Whoever Mrs. O'Grady was, she didn't live far or Severide had been lying about where he was, because within 20 minutes – he was home.

He was prepared to start the argument with Severide the minute he walked through the door, but when the door opened and his wayward roommate entered, the words of anger never left his lips.

Severide looked tired, had shadows under his eyes, but they weren't red or glassy. He wasn't staggering, and he wasn't boasting that shit-eating grin that always graced his face when he wasn't sober. He hadn't been drinking.

"Sorry." Kelly greeted quietly. "Mrs. O'Grady would like you to facetime her so she knows I got home okay." He smiled tiredly, showed Casey a photo on his phone of him hugging an elderly black woman with the TV on to a news channel showing the time. "Proof I was where I said I was." He joked.

Right. Now Casey remembered who she was. A kind woman who had been the target of retaliation a couple years back and Severide had taken steps to help her out with her problem.

He couldn't take his eyes off the photo on the phone, the half-completed jigsaw puzzle of a bouquet of flowers in a blue vase. "You were supposed to come to Molly's."

"Went for a ride, ended up on her street, so knocked on the door. We're out for gas or on our way back, we swing by every now and again, fix a door or move something heavy." He shrugged, let Casey have his phone. "Just thumb green."

"Hello, this is Matt Casey." He said when his call was answered. "…Yes ma'am, he's home all safe and sound. Thanks for giving him dinner….right…yes, I know…uh-huh…yup, isn't he though? I will. Good night to you too." He handed the phone back. "Dunno how you find people that like you." He smiled wanly.

Severide shrugged, set the phone aside, unlaced his boots. "You okay?"

"I will be." He just needed time, some attention...Severide's company. Just for a bit.

"Sorry, just meant to have dinner with her. She makes her own spaghetti sauce and..." he sighed. "Do we need to talk about this?"

He might have been sleeping a lot, lying around on the sofa the last couple days, but he was neither blind nor deaf. He'd caught Casey sitting and staring at him or poking his head through the bedroom door that he never completely closed. Heard him on the phone with the Chief. He'd paced. A lot. Had insistently told Gabby he was okay, he wasn't upset, calling Voight hadn't been a big deal, seeing Perkins and remembering his rough start with no friends at the academy hadn't bothered him.

But it had. It all had. And he wasn't okay.

Darden tossed a dart at the corkboard, hit the outer ring. "He's a guy that will follow you anywhere, do anything for you, but he's content on his own, know what I mean? You're gonna learn when to push, when to back off. He's gonna piss you off, he's gonna put distance between you, there's gonna be times he spirals and you're not going to know what to do…but Matt, I'm telling you, once you cement that bond with him…..he's never going to leave you."

"If he does?"

"He won't."

"If he does?" Matt repeated.

"Then you betrayed him."

"I'd never do that!" Matt protested.

"I know." Darden smiled. "I know that. And he will never betray you. Oh, there's gonna be times he doesn't think about you or what his actions mean to you or realize he hurts you but that's life with Kelly Severide."

"Speaking from experience?" He tossed a dart, hit the third ring.

"Every time I've needed him, he's been there." Darden shrugged.

"Yeah, I don't see it, he's too self-absorbed to notice anyone else, but if you say so."

"I have many words of wisdom and most of it is shit." Darden admitted. "Call him on his shit Matt, tell him, talk to him, you won't think you're getting through to him, but you will."

"You know him better than anyone and you keep saying he's worth it, but I dunno Darden, I don't buy it."

Darden picked up his beer from the table, scooped up a handful of pretzels, munched, swallowed it down with a swig of beer. "When you feel alone, when you stare at the wall and cry, when you don't think you want anyone, need company, that's when he knows you need him."

But Casey was still doubtful, repeated. "If you say so."

"There may come a day, one of you move away and there might be years and miles between you, but if he gets that call in the dead of the night, he'll be right by your side." Darden teased, somber mood buried.

Casey aimed his dart, double-pumped his arm, hit the wall. "Are you….did you just quote Bon Jovi?"

"On the ride there, we were thinking you were stabbed or shot or blown up. They didn't tell Chief anything and we get there and they used the words next of kin, and..." and his world had narrowed and turned red and he didn't remember anything until he'd heard Perkins' voice saying, 'he's not dead'. "...and government facility and mental instability and they wouldn't let me see you and Gabby brought up amputation and we didn't know what had happened. Perkins was gloating..."

"So, is this about one-upping Pumpkinhead or finding out what happened to me?"

"I don't know if you've noticed I don't do well," Casey pointed out. "I don't get what I want."

"I get you don't like Perkins, but Matt, you didn't need to call Voight." Severide said. "They couldn't keep me. Detain me, yeah, but..."

"I had to...I just...losing anyone right now...would...I don't think I'd come back from that...losing you...If it hadn't been for you and Gabby...when I lost Hallie..." He swallowed hard. "Losing Andy nearly destroyed our friendship, then you wanted to flee to Spain, then Shay...and you spiraled and left and didn't want to come back." He coughed, cleared his throat. "I calm myself down and I get back to Boden and Perkins is telling them he isn't finished with the case and needed you, so you wouldn't be coming home right way..." Casey blinked, looked away. "I left Molly's, drove around a bit."

"Why? Oh." Severide went silent. "You were looking for me?"

"Last time you went missing and I didn't look for you…..you were gone 24 hours, and a kid could've died….not gonna happen again."

Surprised, Severide spluttered. "When did I go missing?"

"Today."

"I….did?" He asked perplexed. "Where was I when I went missing?"

Casey grinned at the oxymoron. "You went to see Perrington, sent a text she released you from house arrest and were going for a drive." He waved a hand in the general direction of the clock. "See what time it is?"

"I….."

"We expected you at Molly's. When you didn't show…..there was talk and…."

"Otis." Severide said flatly. "Got in your face again?" Casey nodded, shrugged. "About me? Hell, I even lived with the guy and still can't….."

"I know." Casey handed Severide a cookie, offered the last of his milk. When he took both, finished the milk and walked to the sink to rinse the glass out, Casey stood up, moved to give him a hug. Surprised but pleased Severide allowed it, Casey let the topic of Otis go. "I'd rather you play rummy at the senior center, then hole up in a dive getting drunk."

"Neither's gonna happen."

"Just…..we're in a good place….don't spiral on me …." He hesitated. "I can't handle much more Sev….I can't….not now…not right now."

Severide nodded. The call to Voight had thrown Casey so completely, he wasn't eating or sleeping and though he hadn't said anything, he'd had a headache since he'd seen Perkins. Severide didn't have to be told, he knew.

The appointment had gone longer than he'd expected, he'd been hungry, was near Mrs. O'Grady's house and since it was close to her dinner time, had decided to pop in, beg a meal. He hadn't meant to fall asleep and had been surprised to realize how long he'd slept. Obviously, his unattended absence had unsettled his buddy further.

"He's arrogant." Severide said dismissively. "Cocky as shit. Don't want anything to do with an attitude like that."

"Like what?"

"Uh, chip on his shoulder?"

"Stop being such a fucking dick Kelly." Darden chided. "Matt Casey is a good guy with a great work ethic and morals. Give him a chance, he'll be one of the best friends you've ever had."

"I'm not here to make friends."

"Yeah, well, maybe I am."

"Not my problem."

"Make it your problem." Darden said sharply. "Get your head outta your ass," he paused, suspicion dawning. He knew it wasn't true, asked anyway. "Is it about Heather and Hallie bonding not caring much for Renee?"

Severide truly looked perplexed. "Why would I care about that?" He asked confused. "Why are you bothering me? Give your speech to Casey."

Darden snorted. "I've given him a speech, but not this one. You ain't easy to know."

"What the hell you talking about?!"

"You're not." Darden scoffed. "Get your head outta your ass, think of someone else once in a while…let him in, be there for him."

"What the fuck is your problem?"

"Heather….since the baby…. I dunno Kel, I might not always be here to have your back, makes me sleep better at night, you're not out there going it alone."

"For Christ sake, I don't need you or anyone at my back. Dunno what the hell you think sometimes."

"Okay, cards on the table?" Darden snapped. Kelly quirked an eyebrow at his angry tone. "This isn't about you. You get that, right? I'd never try and change who you are, but friendship isn't one-sided, and the older you get, the more you withdraw. You take me for granted, yet I know, you'd give your life for mine or Heather or my family. Matt needs a friend, be a friend Kelly, and step the fuck up."

"I promise, I'll call next time, I stop for dinner, don't come home."

Casey blinked at the easy capitulation but didn't test his new found luck. "Thanks."

He was stunned further, when Severide gave him a hug, patted his shoulder and toddled off to bed.

"Huh."

"All good?" Gabby asked when he crawled into bed beside her.

"Guess, yeah."

"Your head still hurt? Lay on your right side."

"Took some migraine aspirin, it's easing."

"Hmmm….right, aspirin."

And it had nothing to do with Severide coming home.