~ ~ Previously ~ ~

He saw Tank waiting in the hall and checked his watch. "Sorry, Babe. Can't keep Tank waiting. Don't worry. You and Morelli will be on again by the end of the weekend." He stood up and slipped his phone into his pocket. "Thanks for the muffin."

As he stepped around the desk, he gave her a quick kiss on the forehead. Tank gave him a quizzical look, but he shook his head. They headed down to the conference room, leaving a frowning Stephanie behind. For the rest of the afternoon, one thing kept playing over and over on a loop inside his brain.

He should have spoken sooner.

Chapter 4 - Friday

Friday morning, Stephanie woke up early for her which meant that the rest of the working world was either at the office or on the way there. She lolled around in bed a few minutes just to remind herself that she could. Finally, her bladder had her scurrying to the bathroom and she decided she was up for the day.

She got the coffee started and checked her cabinets in case the Food Fairy had stopped by. Nope. Cheerios for breakfast it was. Maybe. Yep, there was enough for half a bowl. Opening the fridge she checked the milk situation. There was a little bit left and it passed the sniff test.

As she got her meager breakfast ready, she tossed a couple of Cheerios and some hamster crunchies in Rex's bowl. She put the bowl of cereal on the table and the mug of coffee next to it. She added the last of the milk and some sugar to each before she sat. As she ate, she mulled over her next move.

After she'd been ambushed by Morelli at the police station Wednesday, she'd gotten a couple of tubs of Ben & Jerry's. She'd intended to pig out on comfort food while sitting on a sofa in Denial Land with nothing on her mind. It turned out, she could think and pig out at the same time. And what she'd thought about was how pissed she was at Joe for manipulating her into going to Cathy's party. And how pissed she was at herself for letting him.

Two and half weeks ago, Steph had taken Moira Gibbs to be rebonded. It turned out that Moira had missed her court date for shoplifting because she had finally fled her abusive husband. Once Steph tracked her down in a women's shelter, Moira was willing to come along but was terrified of running into her husband. Moira's counselor Sharon came with her and, with Moira's permission, Stephanie kept them both company until Vinnie could get there.

She was with the ladies less than two hours but it was a profound two hours. She listened intently as Sharon counseled Moira on toxic relationships. Sharon explained what constituted abusive behavior, what red flags to look for, gave examples of each, and suggestions on how to respond.

And with almost every example, Stephanie had corresponding examples between her and Joe. Multiple examples going back years. It was disturbing how much their relationship matched the toxic patterns. It had taken her two days to process the possibility of it.

Then she told Joe that they needed a time out so that she could think. She meant it and she had. She hadn't told him or anyone else why she wanted space. She'd looked up the websites that Sharon had suggested to Moira. She also took a trip to the library in Princeton where she was less likely to run into any Burg busybodies and brought home some reading.

It was one of the most painful things she had ever done. She read. She cried. She read some more. She did the thought exercises laid out in the texts and faced her demons. The conclusions were inescapable. While it may not have started out that way, she was now in an abusive relationship with Joe. It was also hard to accept that Joe wasn't the only toxic one. While he was the primary aggressor, some of her behaviors contributed to their unhealthy patterns. In some ways, admitting and owning her actions was the most difficult thing she had to accept.

She'd already realized that they needed to call it quits for both their sakes when she ran into him at the Police Station. If she hadn't dragged her feet about breaking up, if she hadn't taken a few more days in Denial Land, then she wouldn't have been pushed into going to Cathy's party. Just like the books warned, she fell right back into the same toxic rhythm of behavior and response. He bullied her. She caved.

What she hadn't expected was that her emotional and physical reactions to him had changed. There was no romantic or sexual pull this time. As she mulled it all over Wednesday evening she thought that maybe it was because for the first time she could see him clearly. Could see them clearly.

And now, because she'd fallen back into the toxic pattern with Morelli, she'd hurt Ranger. The invitation might have been kind of abrupt and more of a command, but he had invited her to his birthday … party? Dinner? Whatever. It was with his family. And if it hadn't been for her big fat mouth running without her realizing it, she could have said yes to Ranger, then cancelled with Cathy. He tried to hide it. His blank face had slammed into place almost immediately, but she knew him well enough to see the hurt behind it.

And she did try to talk to Ranger yesterday, sort of, but she hesitated because she was nervous and unsure of herself. Plus she'd forgotten exactly what she meant to say. So Ranger jumped in and talked over her, too. By the time she got up the nerve to say anything he was on his way out with Tank. The difference between him and Joe was that Ranger did it when he was trying to encourage or support her. Joe did it to pressure her into doing what he wanted. But, like the books said, they could only do it because she let them.

What Stephanie learned yesterday and Wednesday was that she needed to be more assertive. It would go against all the manners her mother drilled into her growing up about what polite girls did or didn't do. She would have to find a more modern set of rules than those that Helen Plum and the rest of the Burg clung to.

Maybe she should find an etiquette role model, like Miss Manners but kickass. Someone like Wonder Woman would be good. She never let anyone walk over her. And Wonder Woman wouldn't procrastinate. She would do what needed to be done without hesitation. Same with her alter ego. You never saw Diana Prince slouched across the sofa in grubby sweat pants and an old t-shirt, ignoring real life and pounding back ice cream by the tub full.

Okay. Current plan. Go to Cathy's party for a rare chance to have a fun casino outing at the beach for free, then break up with Morelli. After that, she'd think about a plan for letting Ranger know how she felt. Lester would give it some kind of silly name like Operation Twue Wuv Fowevah or make it an acronym like Get Ranger And Stephanie Synchronized and start making puns and jokes around the word GRASS. Actually, Lester would think up an acronym way more clever than that but that was the best she could do this early in the morning on half a bowl of cereal.

She thought about her empty cabinets and empty bank account. Rent was taken care of. Time to earn some grocery money.

An hour later, Stephanie was pulling open the front door of the bonds office. Three steps in she halted. The air was thick with an overpowering smell of air freshener. Artificial floral scents assaulted her nose. There was a harsh chemical undertone that scratched her throat and made her cough. There was a third, very faint, odor that was sharp and sour.

Connie sat at her desk as usual. She wore a lavender blouse that emphasized her assets without putting them on display. Her head was turned so that her face was partly in profile, but Steph could see that her eyes were narrowed, lips pressed tightly together. Both elbows were on the desktop, with one hand resting against it. The other hand held up a spray can, poised as if ready to fire. The can was aimed, not straight ahead to the front door where Steph was, but off to the side at the file cabinets where Lula stood.

Lula had one foot in front of the other and a file folder in her hand. Her hair was in the same braids and bright orange beads as Wednesday and she was wearing the same orange stilettos. Today she wore a very tight and very short black tube dress covered in shiny black and silver sequins. All of her weight was on her back leg, making that hip jut out. She had her hand on that hip, elbow forward, and was waving the file folder in her other hand like a fan in Connie's direction. She was staring back at Connie and looked just as ticked off.

The door to Vinnie's office was wrenched open. It hit the wall with a loud bang but Stephanie was the only one who flinched. Vinnie himself popped out, scowling. "Who the hell keeps playing the kazoo out here?" he yelled. "Do you have any idea how distracting –"

Vinnie stopped mid-sentence, either from choking on the smog or from the tension level in the room. Maybe both. Despite the noisy entrance, his presence wasn't acknowledged in any way. He looked from Connie to Lula and back again then slid backward into his office. The door closed quietly then Stephanie heard the faint click of the lock being thrown.

She really really didn't want to interrupt whatever the hell this was, but she was almost out of groceries.

"Um …"

"Desk," snapped Connie, her eyes never leaving Lula's.

As quickly as she could, Steph sidled into the war zone and snapped up the small pile of folders on the corner of the desk. She hurried out, the standoff still in full force as the door closed behind her. Getting into her car, she dropped the files on the passenger seat and made a note to avoid cabbage at all costs.

Stephanie struck out with the first two skips. One wasn't home and she hadn't been able to track her down. The next one saw her coming, pretended to co-operate, and then ran off. She gave chase but her heart wasn't really in it. Mid-August in Jersey was too hot for that. She'd wait a couple of days then try again.

She managed to get the third skip. Ernie Delvecchio was 36 years old, overly fond of crack cocaine, and worked as a busboy at Mama Mia's Pasta Hut. Taking him down meant she skinned her knee, tore up her jeans, banged her shoulder, and got covered in road grease and rancid but unidentifiable food. Having a knock-down drag-out fight in the filthy alley behind a restaurant will do that. For once her skip came out looking and smelling as bad as she did. Plus, she still had a job. Ernie got fired as he lay belly down in the alley getting cuffed while his co-workers goggled at him.

This time Stephanie didn't run into Morelli at the police station. Carl Constanza came up, though, popping out of the hallway to the right of the booking counter. Grinning, he pointed to her and then to Ernie. He got as far as "I thought yesterday was dress -" when Stephanie felt irritation flare up. Her head whipped around to stare directly at him. Her nostrils flared, and she could feel her teeth grinding. She didn't know what her face looked like, but Carl's eyes widened, his mouth shut, and he walked away without another word.

Once she got the body receipt she could have traded it for a check from Connie but the bank would be closed before she got there. If she couldn't turn the check into actual money today, then it wasn't worth risking a visit to the bonds office and a repeat of this morning. Or worse, an escalation of some sort in the Great Cabbage War. Hopefully everything would be back to normal by Monday. Luckily, she had enough in her checking account to get basics like milk, cereal, mac and cheese, and a loaf of bread. Saturday at the casino, she'd stuff herself, and maybe a pocket or two, with whatever food was there and that should tide her over until Monday.

It was after 6:30 p.m. when she unlocked the door to her apartment. That half bowl of cereal this morning hadn't lasted long and staking out skips one and two meant missing lunch. She was starving, filthy, bruised, and aching. She took a minute to put the groceries away then headed for the shower. Ravenous though she was, she needed to be clean before she did anything else. The faster she moved, the sooner she could get some dinner. She showered, washed her hair, doctored her scrapes, and downed a couple of ibuprofen. Tossing on a clean pair of sweatpants and t-shirt, she pulled the towel off her wet hair and let it hang loose. No point in pulling out the hair dryer just to sit on the sofa.

Stepping out of her room twenty minutes later, she could swear she smelled marinara, cheese, and warm bread. Saliva filled her mouth and the beast in her stomach roared. Two steps down the hallway, she heard small sounds in the kitchen. Hope swelled within her. Maybe Ranger brought her dinner? If he came to see her, maybe she could fix things between them tonight. After two more steps, her hopes were dashed and she halted in surprise.

"Hey, Cupcake."

Morelli was in the kitchen, pulling two plates from the cabinet. He glanced over his shoulder to greet her. He was in the long sleeved shirt, dark jeans, and black boots that he usually wore to work. The jeans showed off his ass but for once Stephanie wasn't interested in the view.

A pizza box and two wrapped subs were on the table along with a six pack of beer. Turning, he set the plates down next to the food then snagged the roll of paper towels from the counter and put that on the table too. He pulled a bottle from the carrier and twisted off the cap.

The ting of the metal cap hitting the table top snapped Stephanie out of the daze that his unexpected - and unwelcome - appearance had caused. The disappointment of her visitor not being Ranger was replaced by the irritation she'd felt earlier at Costanza.

She let that irritation show in a sharp tone of voice. "What are you doing here, Joe?"

He shrugged one shoulder and sipped his beer. "I brought Pino's for dinner."

He leaned back against the counter, one foot crossed over the other. He looked relaxed and at ease. She, on the other hand, felt tense and off balance.

"Once again, let me remind you that we are in an off phase." Crossing her arms, she glared at him.

Another shrug. "We're going to my sister's birthday party tomorrow."

He said that like it was an answer but to Stephanie it made no sense.

"So?"

"So, going to a family event means we're back on. Besides, the boys missed you." Using the hand holding the bottle, he gestured at the table. "Do you want eat first or save that for after some balls to the wall sweaty gorilla sex?"

Wiggling one eyebrow, he gave her the look that she used to think of as his bedroom eyes. Previously, it had been appealing. More than once that had been the final enticement that led directly to getting naked. Now? It did nothing. If anything, it repulsed her.

Maybe it was the low blood sugar. Maybe it was the years of frustration and dissatisfaction with parts of their relationship. Maybe it was everything she had learned over the past couple of weeks crowding her mind. Whatever it was, the irritation she felt grew into anger and boiled over. She hadn't been this mad since she had found her now ex-husband screwing her nemesis Joyce Barnhardt on their dining room table. Just like then, she found herself shouting.

"Dammit, Morelli! I asked you to step back and you're disrespecting my needs." She pointed one finger at him, jabbing it in the air as if she could stab him with it. "First you steamroll me into going to that party. Now, you show up uninvited, you let yourself into my house, and announce that your dick needs seeing to." Her voice was loud and harsh, forced through clenched teeth.

"What the fuck, Cupcake?" Like Costanza, Joe looked surprised, clearly caught off guard by the intensity of her reaction.

"Don't call me that. Not now, not ever again." Still gesturing with one hand, she put the other on her hip. "You started calling me that when you were FTA. It's not an endearment. It's a put down. An insult. It's a reminder of how you humiliated me in high school when you wrote that cupcake graffiti in bathrooms all over town and ruined my reputation."

"I thought you liked - "

"I don't."

Her hand was shaking. Hell, her whole body was shaking. She realized that the pounding noise in her ears was the sound of her own heartbeat. Her breathing was hard and fast as if she'd run five blocks in stiletto heels and there was a horrible taste in her mouth. This wasn't just anger, this was rage and she needed to get it under control. The last thing she needed was to snap and do something she'd regret. She could see the headlines now "Bombshell Bounty Hunter EXPLODES!" or "Incendiary Bombshell Burns Bridges!"

Morelli opened his mouth and she held one hand up, palm out, in the universal signal to stop. Remembering what one of the books suggested, she closed her eyes and followed the rest of the steps it outlined to calm herself down. When the shaking hands and racing heart were mostly gone and she could speak in a civil tone, she continued.

"Over two weeks ago, I had a skip at the women's shelter," she explained. "I heard the counselor talk about red flags and toxic relationships. I looked up the resources she suggested and did a lot of reading. This pattern of behavior, this back and forth that we do, the way we treat each other, it's unhealthy and it has to stop."

"Oh, so now I'm a bad guy?" The heavy sarcasm was born of denial and hurt. He slammed the beer bottle down on the table hard enough for a few drops to splash out.

That wasn't quite what she meant and Stephanie started to feel guilty for making him feel bad. But that was something else her research had warned her about. Accepting blame that wasn't hers to take. His feelings were his issue and she shouldn't let him gaslight her into making them her fault. Diana Prince wouldn't back down because the truth hurt him. Wouldn't apologize to him for something he did. Wonder Woman would keep doing what was right because it was right even if it hurt. She could stay strong. She could do this. She would NOT be pulled back into this mess yet again.

"You're not a bad guy, Joe. You're just not the right guy. If you were, and if I was the right one for you, then we wouldn't be like this." Sighing, she stepped forward until she could put her hand on his arm. "Look, you get training on domestic issues, right? Use that information to look inward. Apply it to yourself. To us. What does it tell you, Joe?"

Frowning, he took a breath, paused, then let it out and the warm puff of air floated across her skin. His eyes had that unfocused appearance that most people got when thinking deeply. After a few minutes, his shoulders slumped and he leaned back against the counter again as if he needed the support.

"Shit. Maybe we could … we could –" He paused, his hands moving as if grasping for a word and coming up empty.

Stephanie shook her head. "No. We're done. The only thing keeping us together is convenience. We have no expectations of each other. Friends with benefits and the side effect of keeping our families at bay. It keeps my mom and yours from pestering each of us about doing the whole white picket fence and 2.5 kids thing. It's not even romantic.

"Hell, it's not even me that you want. It's never 'Stephanie, I miss you' or 'Stephanie, I want you.' It's always about you and your dick and scratching an itch. It's pizza on the sofa with a game on TV followed by a roll in the hay. I'm nothing more than line item on your checklist of basic needs - food, entertainment, sex. Check, check, and not anymore."

The silence between them built and stretched until Joe finally broke it.

"You really have been thinking about this, haven't you?" He tilted his head, his eyes searching her face. When she nodded he continued. "We could acknowledge it and stay friends with benefits. The sex was always good."

She stepped back, dropping her hand from his arm. "That wouldn't be fair to either of us. And as long as we seem to be together, we won't find the person who is right."

His eyes narrowed and his lips pressed together before he spoke. "You mean Manoso. Is that what this is? You're dropping me for him?"

She rolled her eyes. "This has nothing to do with him. This is strictly about us and whether we should be together. And the answer to that is no. No, we should not. So, I'm not choosing Ranger over you. I have no idea what will happen with Ranger."

He made no move for a minute, then asked, "How about tonight? Maybe one last time for goodbye?"

Wonder Woman wouldn't get tricked by that. Wonder Woman would stay strong. Stephanie put her fists on her hips, elbows out, in her best Wonder Woman pose.

"No. We're already over. You should go."

Joe stood there, as if waiting for her to change her mind. When she simply watched him, waiting, he nodded his head to acknowledge her command. He took one step toward the table, his hands coming up as if to grab the takeout.

If Wonder Woman was hungry, she wouldn't let someone snatch her food away.

"Leave it. Consider it your parting gift to me. Leave your key as well."

Without another word, Morelli pulled his keys from his pocket and worked her key off his key ring. He set the key on the counter and went to the door.

As his hand touched the door knob, Stephanie said, "Give Cathy my regrets."

Without turning around, he nodded, then left, closing the door behind him.

Stephanie stood where she was for a few moments after that, then burst into tears and collapsed into the nearest chair.

~ ~ To Be Continued ~ ~