Mothwing tucked her tail against her paws.
Littlecloud ran his paw along Tigerstar's chest. The great warrior's eyes were closed. She was pretty certain he was asleep. This was a good thing, Runningnose had told her he hadn't been sleeping much since it all happened.
She could not stop thinking about that moment. She had never seen Tigerstar look so weak. Mothwing did not believe he would ever allow himself to be so vulnerable. The last thing she expected was for him to fall so easily.
"Is he okay?" She asked.
"He's healing," Littlecloud responded. "But the wounds have a long way to go." While he had been brought back by StarClan, they had not fixed everything. They had done nothing for the rest of his wounds and Tigerstar's heart was still damaged.
As he spoke, Tigerstar's eyes flitted open. His gaze went to her and Mothwing was surprised as she saw anger enter them.
Littlecloud yowled as the leader suddenly sprang up. Mothwing scrambled back as she realized he was coming for her.
Tigerstar stopped short, pain replacing this fury as he took deep panting breaths. "Tigerstar – please!" The medicine cat's blue eyes were wide. "Lay down." The leader's teeth were borne.
"You do not ask these sorts of questions!" Mothwing nodded; her ears flattened to her skull.
"Yes, Tigerstar."
Littlecloud's tail twitched as he lowered his head to his leader. "Tigerstar," he repeated. "Please lay down. You're going to hurt yourself." The dark tabby glanced at him and Mothwing almost thought he was going to ignore the request but Tigerstar turned, heading back to his nest.
As he settled, Littlecloud looked at Mothwing.
"Why don't you leave," His voice was barely above a whisper. "For his sake as well as your own. This type of stress – it isn't good for the kits." Mothwing nodded dimly. That wasn't for her own sake. Were they all he cared about?
She rose to her paws, turning and leaving the den behind. Her stomach felt as though it was rolling.
Why was Tigerstar so against her interest in this? What had she done wrong? She understood what he wanted from her but was what she wanted so wrong?
Mothwing looked around camp, her breath tightening. It was too crowded, she wanted to get out but she wanted someone with her. She didn't know where Leopardstar or Hawktalon were – or even Rainfoot!
She had seen him a few times after Tigerstar had been injured, but it was still not often. He had to be out of camp. Her gaze went to where Brambleheart was sleeping but she knew that would do nothing. While Leopardstar was laxer with him than Tigerstar, he was still under guard. Even if he was awake, they were not trusted together.
But Mothwing couldn't trouble the warriors with any of this. She turned, swallowing as she felt bile at the back of her throat. She hurried to the camp entrance.
She did not make it three fox lengths before her stomach gave out. She stared at it, the acidic taste filling her mouth as guilt came over her.
They had such little prey as it was. They could not waste it on something as ridiculous as this. Why hadn't she been able to hold it down?
She curled her tail around her paws, crouching. She still wanted someone here but she would not go back into camp. Her chest was tightening and her breath getting tighter.
She wanted Sasha.
"Mothwing." She looked up, surprised when she spotted Goldenflower. Mothwing had not realized she had been followed. She forced herself to her paws.
The older queen looked to where she had thrown up. "There's no shame in it," she said. "Queens get sick sometimes, it happens. Although it is usually over by this stage." Goldenflower licked her whiskers, "Are you feeling alright? Do you want to go get Runningnose?" Mothwing shook her head instantly. If Tigerstar heard, it would just make it worse.
"Then what do you want?"
"Can we lay down?" Mothwing rasped. Goldenflower nodded, leading her far enough away for the acidic smell to almost be gone. Mothwing closed her eyes as they settled. She could feel Goldenflower's rasping tongue on her back.
She glanced at the older queen. She wasn't Sasha but Goldenflower was comforting. Why was she here? Mothwing's voice came out quiet.
"Why are you doing this?" She asked. "I'm not your kit." Goldenflower looked at Mothwing.
"You're my kits' sister," She replied. "You're in distress and that isn't good for you or the kits." Another wave of sickness overcame her. Was that all her Clanmates thought of? This was followed by a mutter, "You're a bit young to have them in the first place – it's not a bad thing but most warriors wait a few seasons at least." She raised her voice at the last bit.
"Well," Mothwing mumbled. "It's what Tigerstar wanted." Goldenflower went ridged.
"What do you mean by that?" Her words came out slow. Mothwing glanced at her.
"Tigerstar wanted me to have kits," She explained. "He wants Tawnyclaw and Hawk to as well." The look in the older queen's eyes was unreadable.
"And – I want you to tell me the truth, who's the father?"
"Rainfoot," Mothwing replied. Why had she asked? Mothwing was fairly certain Goldenflower already knew this. "He wants Hawktalon with Sorreltail and Tawnyclaw with Ashfur." Sorreltail was on her feet again, she wouldn't be surprised if there was another push for that and this had to have been the reason he chose Ashfur to go to this other WindClan, Mothwing realized. She wouldn't be surprised if he pushed Brambleheart to do something similar when he was fully settled. Goldenflower was silent for a moment.
"Thank you for telling me this," Her voice was low. "I could kill him." Mothwing's head jerked to the older queen, alarmed.
"What?"
"That's not right," Her words were serious. "You should –" She shook her head. "You did the right thing by telling me. Tell your brother and sister they don't have to do this – it's your choice. No one should be forcing you to be doing this, even if he is your leader." Mothwing was confused.
"But we're supposed to obey him – it's in the code!" She sighed. "Tawnyclaw didn't want me to," Her voice was quiet. "She said she'd take care of it but with her gone…" Her voice trailed off.
"The code doesn't exist for a cat like Tigerstar," Goldenflower's voice was quiet. There was a serious look in her eyes, "The Clans were never supposed to exist as they are now." Mothwing's eyes rounded.
"We're stronger than ever," She protested. "We're more united than the prior Clans." Why was Goldenflower saying this? Was she just stuck in how it used to be?
"We're not, though," She glanced back toward their temporary camp. "All TigerClan, yes but they're separated by Clan even within that tiny camp. You know the camps never interacted outside of necessity." She muttered, "One ruling power but this is not one Clan."
"This Clan is not strong. Tigerstar is and he uses that strength to make them – us, scared of him." Mothwing's head was spinning. Her mind went back to what had just happened with Tigerstar.
"But why…" There were many different ways she could end that. If she thought this, then why doesn't Goldenflower speak against him? Act against? Mothwing knew she had been furious after Brambleheart's beating. What was holding her back? Did other warriors think the same way? Had Goldenflower talked to others about this?
"Why did you become his mate if you think he is like this?" Goldenflower looked at her. "How did he become leader if he was like this?"
"He didn't use to be," her voice was quiet. "He was good with Tawnyclaw and Brambleheart's older brother – you never met him," She added quickly at the look of curiosity on Mothwing's face. "He died before your time." She sighed, "He was… charismatic, kind. A strong deputy and a great warrior." Goldenflower murmured, "I loved him. He changed after becoming leader. He took that opening Rusty gave to him and…" She trailed off.
"Well, he isn't too short of mad." She looked at Mothwing, "He got power hungry. I don't know what changed."
"I'm sorry," Mothwing didn't know what else to say. Goldenflower was speaking treason. She was speaking against StarClan's will.
Mothwing should report this. Goldenflower licked the top of Mothwing's head.
"You don't have to be," Goldenflower rested her head on Mothwings. "None of this is your fault. Thank you for telling me what you did. I have your back, do not forget that." Mothwing leaned against the older warrior, relaxing further. She still felt dazed but Goldenflower's presence had brought a lot of comfort to her. She murmured into her fur.
"Thank you."
Feathertail's whiskers twitched as Gray rose again. "Like that?" the young she-cat asked.
"Yeah, that was pretty good." She rose to her paws, looking between her and another young cat, Sorrel. "You both did that well. You might even have the makings of warriors." Gray's ears went back.
"I don't know about that," She answered. Sorrel looked at her.
"It's not like we're going to," he pointed out. Gray shrugged. She looked at the two warriors.
"I can't imagine leaving the cave. I don't know how you have left your home."
"We've had to leave home before," Stormfur replied. "Change homes. It's certainly not ideal." Feathertail looked at her brother, surprised. He had never said anything like this before. He hardly talked about RiverClan and TigerClan as it was.
Gray tilted her head. Before she could speak, a voice called out.
Blizzard was looking at them. "Gray, Sorrel – come here." There were a few more cats with him. Sorrel stepped toward the pale tom; his ears flattened.
"Do you think it's –" Gray hissed.
"I forgot about that!" Gray looked at the littermates. "We gotta go, see you." The colony cats trotted off. Feathertail glanced at Stormfur. He shook his head.
"All young cats are the same, aren't they?" Feathertail chuckled.
"We're not old," She pointed out.
"We're not apprentice aged either." Feathertail nodded, falling silent for a moment.
"You thought it was tough?" She asked. "Everything with TigerClan?" Stormfur looked at his sister.
"Of course. We all did."
"I just don't hear you talk about it much," She commented. Stormfur shrugged, rising to his paws as he stretched.
"I got nothing to say on it," He looked toward the entrance to the cave. "Do you want to try hunting again? We got a bit of time before it gets dark. I imagine Hawkweed and Deer would be willing to come with us again." Feathertail wanted to flatten her ears. Tension rose in her chest.
"Sure." Stormfur nodded, looking over to where the tom was. As he stepped away, she turned to lap at her side. It had been a moon since the others had left. Her wounds were healing but were not completely closed yet. For now, they would have to stay. That did not mean they were doing nothing – that she was doing nothing.
Recently, she had been working on hunting again. Feathertail was determined. She needed to figure out what she could do. That did little to ease her anxiety.
They headed out, following the river into the valley. Feathertail's ears were pricked as she sniffed the air. It was quiet as they moved. Deer glanced back at her and Stormfur's tail raised as he took in the scent around them. He flicked his tail.
Feathertail moved forward, padding up to the she-cat's side. She was getting used to her lack of leg and shortened tail but it was all still so strange. The rocks along the riverbank were harder to walk on than they would have been before. She sniffed.
The WindClan warrior recognized the faint scent of vole. The others had fallen still as Feathertail's eyes narrowed. She continued forward, lowering into a crouch as she began to hear movement.
She felt wrong. She could not crouch the way she had been taught and done so for seasons. She slowed as she heard some movement from a split in the rocks.
Blue eyes focused on it as she shifted, trying to balance her haunches. Feathertail could feel the others watching her. She tensed, claws extending as a nose poked out.
Suddenly, a hiss sounded. "Run!" The nose disappeared. Feathertail turned, alarmed. She spat a curse as her front paw slipped, toppling herself over. Pain struck through her haunches. Stormfur came rushing to her side.
As Feathertail rose, Deer spoke. "False alarm – it's a doe."
Feathertail looked where the colony cats were looking. A large doe stood on the other side; its head held high as it looked at the cats.
Her heart was still thumping against her chest as Hawkweed and Deer padded over to the warriors. Feathertail shot Hawkweed a look. "Why'd you call that?" She asked, tail thrashing. She had been so close!
"Sorry," The ginger tom responded. He glanced back toward the deer. "I just saw that pelt and responded." Feathertail looked back at it. At its tawny coat as it turned away. She sighed.
"Right, sorry." She could not blame them for that. Stormfur was nosing her.
"You scraped yourself." Feathertail looked back, surprised to see he was right.
"It didn't tear open the wound, did it?" Deer padded around her, looking.
"No. Thankfully, that's still scabbed." Feathertail pulled away from her brother.
"It'll be fine," She meowed.
"Why don't we get back?" Hawkweed suggested. "We've certainly scared what's around here. It'll be dark before we find a different hunting ground." Feathertail gritted her teeth, frustration rising. They had only found one potential prey.
These cats got nervous after night, however. Feathertail nodded.
Stormfur stuck by her side as they started back. He nudged her shoulder. Feathertail turned.
"There's always tomorrow," he said. "It'll be fine." She snorted.
"Sure." Amber eyes looked at her.
"You're still healing – there isn't even fur growing yet!" He assured, "It'll be fine."
"We don't know if it is going to grow back," Feathertail pointed out. Stormfur was silent.
Feathertail was startled as he swatted at her suddenly. Stormfur's eyes were brimmed with mirth and something else. Her ears went back and she balanced as she raised a front paw, hitting him back. As he made another jab, Feathertail cuffed him. He sprang back and Feathertail almost wanted to laugh. She could not remember the last time they had play fought.
Both warriors' tails moved from side to side. Stormfur spoke.
"If you can swipe like that, you can fish." His voice was low so the others could not hear him. "If you can fish, you can scoop up a mouse." When they had just begun to learn to fish suddenly came back to her. What Mistyfoot had told them.
"I suppose so," She admitted. Stormfur hummed.
"You gotta catch me a fish – when we get going." He pressed against her side, carefully. She looked away from the low sun. The Clans had to be meeting soon if they had not already. Dread overcame her at the thought. "I've got a bit of a hankering." Feathertail snorted, looking back to her brother.
"Sure, Storm." they started after the others again. "Whatever you want."