It's me! assilem33. I don't know what happened to my fanfic account or why I can't recover it, and I am desperate to get it back (it's there, I see it, but I can't access it), but for now I will be posting and reposting as assilemX2. Please pass on the message and share me all over the world. Maybe one day I'll get to be assilem33 again.
As I post and repost, I will be editing and fixing chapters, especially those what was I thinking chapters. -xo
1.
"Edward, I need a favor. I wouldn't ask, but I'm desperate."
Standing in the doorway of his sterile workroom, I stare at his profile as he works on the half naked girl draped over his tattoo chair. The girl's back is to me, and it makes me very curious what exactly or where exactly he's tattooing her. He seems to be focused low, so low it could be her crotch.
My eyes are drawn back to Edward when he uses the back of his hand to tip his ball cap back. He always does that and every single time it has me panting like a whore in church, which is absurd since I'm not a whore, and I don't even go to church.
"Bells, yeah?" He tips his head to the girl and holds up his gun, a sign that he's busy and to get on with it.
"Oh, sorry. I can come back when you're not busy." I turn to leave, but he stands, murmuring to the girl that he'll be right back.
He grips my elbow, and it's so insignificant because he's wearing latex gloves. His skin's not actually touching mine. Such a shame. He pulls me into the lounge area and shuts the door.
"Everything okay?"
God, who knew he'd turn out to be so sweet. The nose piercing and the array of colorful tattoos - I thought they'd tell a different story.
Yeah, I was that judgemental bitch.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
I can't stop staring at his lips - the way the bottom one is much fuller than the top, which always makes it look like he's pouting. He's in a constant state of pout, I like it so much, I'd love to see him pout for real.
"You said you needed a favor?" He trashes his gloves and grabs a bottle of water from the fridge.
"Oh, yes! So, here's the thing. My mom is throwing an engagement party for my brother, and she's practically begging me to bring my boyfriend home this weekend…"
"Boyfriend?" He asks, pout pronounced. "I didn't know you were seeing anyone. Who is he?"
"No one. I don't even have a boyfriend. I lied because she was going on and on about how my brother was engaged to the love of his life, and how I'm going to grow old and die alone or become this crazy cat lady…" His lips twitch, it's mesmerizingly distracting. "...and to get her to shut up, I said I was seeing someone."
"Okay…"
"Therein lies the problem. I'm not seeing someone and have no one to take home, so I need you to be my fake boyfriend this weekend. If not, I understand. I guess I could ask Jasper."
"I'll do it," he says, that pout even more pronounced, and wow, he does it so well. Imagine what a little lip blush could do.
"Really?"
He shrugs. "Let me move some stuff around, but yeah, I'll play the boyfriend."
"You're the best!" I squeal and lean up to kiss his scruffy cheek. "We'll leave tomorrow afternoon. Does that give you enough time?"
He lifts his chin as I back up toward the door, so I take that as a yes and pull it open, hurrying down the hallway. I wave at Jasper as I pass the front counter and push through the glass door.
Lauren and Jess aren't with customers when I cross over to our side of main street and push through the door of Twilight Lashes.
"Do you think this is a good idea?" Lauren asks, immediately concerned.
"Hell yeah," Jess says. "A weekend with Edward…sign me the fuck up."
"Seriously? You're with Mike." Lauren is scandalized.
"Oh, so having a boyfriend means I can't enjoy the male species - the female species? I'm in a relationship, I'm not blind. Edward is the hottest piece of ass this side of the equator."
Lauren glares at Jess. "You shouldn't treat him like he's a piece of meat."
"Speaking of meat," Jess says, eyes lit in excitement. "I wonder if our girl will see his meat this weekend."
"Jess!"
Lauren still hasn't adjusted to Jess' crude nature.
I pat Lauren's hand and pretend I'm not thinking of Edward's meat now. I wasn't before, but now that Jess mentioned it, it's taking up a huge part of my brain.
"I wonder if it's pierced…" Jess says almost to herself, but I heard her, and that just opened up an entirely new can of worms for me.
"Okay, stop," I say, distractedly. "Now I'm going to spend the entire weekend wondering if he has a Prince Albert."
Jess scoffs. "You want the ampallang or the apadravya. Now those are the real clit stimulators."
"How are we even friends?" Lauren asks, and even though I can't see the blush staining her cheeks, I know they are beet red.
Ignoring their back and forth, I pull out my phone and look up both piercings. For research purposes and all, and holy shit, why do I find the idea of either one so sickly enticing? More importantly, why do I hope Edward has all of the above? But, the real question is - how can I convince him to show me?
He's probably not even pierced. Can you imagine the pain it would take to do that? I mean, he does look tough. I bet he could hack it.
"Let's close early," I say, interrupting Lauren and Jess' unnecessary bickering, and trying to distract myself from thoughts of Edward's dingaling. "I need to go shopping."
"But, first dinner," Jess says, jogging in her heels to flip the sign to closed and lock the door. "I want sushi."
"No way," Lauren yelps. "Last time we ate sushi, I spent the entire next day in the bathroom."
"Fine, let's go to Breaking Dawn."
"We can't get drunk," I say, pulling my purse over my head.
"We won't get drunk," Jess promises.
"We're probably getting drunk," Lauren says.
"So what? Bella has more clothes than both of us combined. Like she even needs to go shopping."
All very true, but who doesn't like to shop?
"One drink," I say, pointing a finger at Jess, screeching when she bites down hard on it. Cradling my hand, I push open the back door to the alley. "I'll drive."
"I'll meet you guys there," Jess says, walking to her own car.
"Where are you going?" I call out.
"I promised Mike a blowie," she says, blowing Lauren a kiss just to rile her up.
"She's sick."
Once we're in the car, I look over at her, giggling when I notice she's truly disgusted. "Do you not do that sort of thing, Lo?"
"What?"
"You know, blowies and such?"
"Oh." She blushes and pulls her seatbelt on. "I don't like to talk about my sex life."
"So, no then?"
"Bella! Yes, of course I give blow jobs! Christ. Let's go."
Giggling, I start the car and pull my own seatbelt on. I bet when Lauren first applied at Twilight Lashes a year ago, she had no idea what she was signing up for - what working with Jess was like.
To me it seems like some perverse type of flirting, but Jess isn't into girls. Well, okay, she's gone down on a few girls a time or two, but that was just experimenting. I mean, I wouldn't experiment with girls, but Jess is open to try anything - like she says, you gotta try everything at least once. Does Jess want to experiment with Lauren? Would Mike join them? Why am I imagining a Mike sandwich right now? Something is wrong with my brain today. First, dick piercings. Now, threesomes. Maybe I should get drunk.
…
"Esme, you should see him," Jess says, holding up both hands and flashing her fingers open and closed over and over. "A fucking 10. If I wasn't with Mike, I'd hit that."
"Do you always have to talk like a 14-year-old hornball?" Lauren sips on her wine, staring down Jess now that she's full of liquid courage.
Jess looks over at her and snorts. "Hornball? Really? Where do you come up with these words?"
Lauren shrugs. "It's what you are. It doesn't matter how I say it."
Esme slides another Blue Moon my way, and I drink half before leaning forward and crooking a finger at my favorite bartender. Bar owner. "He really is a 10. He bought the studio across from mine six months ago - Eclipse Ink - and he's like one of my best friends now." Jess scoffs next to me, and I smile at Esme. "He has the poutiest lips I've ever seen." I sigh and take another drink before wrapping a first around the neck and holding it against my chest. "He's so pretty."
Esme chuckles and leans away from half drunk me, and I turn to see Lauren and Jess in the most awkward stare down known to woman. "What are you guys doing?"
Lauren startles, sloshing her wine a bit and smiles at me. "Let's go shopping now."
"Sorry to burst your precious bubble, Lo, but we can't drink and drive," Jess says.
I hop off my stool and drain my bottle before setting it on the bar top. "We can walk. There's this leather pencil skirt I'd die for at the boutique down main." I pull Jess from her stool and Lauren hops off hers to follow us. We wave at Esme on our way out, and my heart melts when she blows us a kiss.
Gosh, I love her.
I link my arm through Jess' as we walk with Lauren on Jess' other side. We come up on the opposite end of main street from where our lash studio is and get to the boutique right before it closes.
"I'm so sorry, Thea. I'll be fast." She opens the door wide, and I push inside, leaving Jess and Lauren to their weird foreplay outside. I mean, I honestly don't think Lauren swings that way, but she's like a mouse falling into Jess' trap.
I grab the last skirt in my size, and thank my lucky stars there was one left for me. I hurry through the rest of the store, grabbing shit I probably don't need but desperately can't live without. An engagement party is the perfect excuse to stock up. "Thank you so much, girl. Come down to the studio next week, and I'll do your lashes. On the house."
"Thanks, doll."
I step out and find Jess and Lauren sitting on the curb. "I called Mike to come get us," Jess says, tilting her head back to look at me upside down.
"Oh, thank God. I didn't want to drag these bags around."
Lauren's eyes widen. "Did you buy the entire store?'
"No," I scoff. "Only half of it."
Jess stands. "Breaking Dawn isn't that far. I told him to meet us there." She takes a couple of bags and Lauren does the same, and we head back to Esme and more Blue Moon. "Anyway, we have the best sex when intoxicated. Let's just say that I lack inhibitions, and he can sneak his dick in my ass and I hardly notice."
Lauren's face blanches, and I laugh so hard I nearly pee my pants.
We store the bags in my car, and Esme is not shocked to see us again. It takes Mike an hour to show up, and well, let's just say we are truly intoxicated by then. Even Lauren is loosening up and having fun.
Mike sits at the bar and watches us like an overgrown babysitter, and Jess moves like vertical pornstar on the dance floor, which makes me and Lauren giggle ourselves stupid.
"She's totally getting it in the butt tonight," Lauren whispers, laughing, but she sounds a little jealous. Either my vibes are off or sweet Lo wants to get down and dirty with my best friend.
When Jess is about to start taking her clothes off, Mike marches into the middle of the room and says it's time to go. After telling Esme I'm leaving my car for the night, I grab all of my bags and pile into Mike's truck. Jess whispers filthy nothings into Mike's ear, and I'm happy that I'm the first one dropped off. Although, I'm a little worried those two are going to corrupt Lauren while I'm not there to intervene. But, hey, Lauren's a big girl. She doesn't need me to cock block her. Or pussy block her. Whatever.
After a hot shower and three glasses of water, I pack for the weekend, laying out my leather skirt for work tomorrow. That thing is so beautiful, I could wear it every day. I wouldn't, but I could.
Jess texts me that they made it home, and I'm too afraid to ask if Lauren's with her. I think I'd rather be left in the dark when it comes to something like that. I don't think I could look either one of them in the eyes at work tomorrow knowing Lauren sat on Jess' face or something equally disturbingly hot.
And it is disturbing.
Well, and hot.
Poor Lauren.