WARNING - DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU'VE READ UNTIL CHAPTER 72 ARC 7 OF THE RE:ZERO WEB NOVEL
Falling, falling, falling endlessly into the dark abyss, a boy could be seen drowning in the murky clouds of shadows. It would be more precise to say that it was not a boy being engulfed by the black veil, but the consciousness of said child, for in this realm he held no corporeal form. He could see but had no eyes. He could feel but had no skin. He could hear but had no ears. At this instant in time he did not yet hold the ability to create a body of his own, so he could only lament that he had no outlet to confess his undying love.
However, even without his body to support him and his mind in a foggy daze, the youth stayed true to his very nature and held on to the hope of conveying his feelings to the women he loved. This would probably be no surprise to anyone who had met the boy before - for the one thing he always had going for him, the one thing that defined his very being, was that he would never give up. His soul would sooner burn itself before allowing such an absurd thing to happen.
So, even while falling to the ends of the world that he currently existed within, even with the despair brought about by not being able to reach a hand out to his treasured one, he desperately urged the entirety of his being to manifest a physical form.
"I love you"
A voice like a silver bell rang out, distracting him from engaging further with his futile efforts. It was a calming voice, a euphonious one that he had pleaded to every god he could ever think of to hear once again. A lovely presence made its way towards him inducing a nesting warmth in his chest.
"I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you."
The shadowy figure embraced his consciousness. He could feel a heavenly softness pressed against his back and slender arms wrapped over his shoulders, pulling him into a tight embrace. The angel rested her chin on his neck and softly whispered words of love into his ears. Her voice was hollow and indicated a possessive obsession, but he didn't mind at all. If anything, it only made him happier.
Lust and desire welled up inside of him. He wanted to take her right now, make her his this very instant. Her alluring cold icy skin - fair and silky smooth, gently touched his back and chest. Her long lustrous snow white hair fell down his shoulders. Her light red lips grazed his ears, with her tantalizing neck wedged between his neck and shoulder - she was so charming, so utterly delightful.
The beating of his heart reverberated in his ears and the intimacy caused the depths of his psyche to tremble. The sheer amount of bliss he was feeling just being next to such a goddess was unearthly. It was too much for him to handle. He would go crazy.
In front of the display of such love, such compassion, such beautiful devoted eternal tenderness, how could one remain quiet?
An invisible shadowy hand, that was eating away at his soul, emerged from his chest to caress the cheek of the ethereal beauty. He hoped it conveyed everything he had been feeling, everything he wished to say. Now he could only make a silent promise that he would confess the contents of his heart to her another day.
"Wha-?!"
The figure froze still at the touch of the invisible hand, giving out a soft unintelligible noise. Its face then turned into one that could only be described to show the accumulation of eternal bliss, as if she had been waiting for so very long for any display of affection from the boy. Feeling the gentleness behind the hand, feeling its loving caress brought warm tears to her eyes, and the empty amethyst gaze that put him in a trance just moments before softened as if to indicate a new presence taking over them.
With a deeply reddened face she said -
"L-later my b-eloved, our time together will definitely come. Hmm-mm. That's a promise"
How foolish of the women to needlessly promise such an obvious thing. They existed for each other, two halves of a whole, they would reunite together or die trying. He attempted to nod his head but alas, his earlier display of affection rendered the act impossible.
But, as if understanding his intentions, the women smiled, and then the shadows that constructed the endless void converged on him. As the lingering darkness entered him and attempted to put him in a deep sleep, he left one final thought in the shadow garden before his awareness faded.
'I will definitely save you'
He swiftly left the mysterious dimension where the feared Witch of Envy resided. Freshly unsealed memories became sealed once again and his eternal love forgotten.
"Haaaaah"
Subaru sharply inhaled and opened his eyes. He was greeted with the sight of a skinny man with tattoos all over his naked upper body and a bald-shaved head, looking at him with a concerned gaze. He looked like he was about to leave after being given an urgent request but was momentarily held back by what probably was Subaru's weird behavior.
'This must be after i asked Weitz to stall for time'
Subaru realizes that once again, his checkpoint was postponed by a few seconds. He thinks to himself that if he continues to use return by death at the current rate, then he would eventually reach a point where the time he has to take action after his death would be too little to make a change.
'Don't you get carried away Natsuki Subaru'
Even though just moments prior, he made a promise to himself that was forgotten by the world - a promise to finally kill that despicable bastard that took everything away from him no matter how many tries it took, he didn't have such a luxury on his hands.
He berates himself internally. He reminds himself that he needs to do better since he is the son of Natsuki Kenichi. He must always remember that all the victory conditions must be fulfilled -
- He and the allies who'll help him escape the island must survive
- He must kill Todd once and for all
- He must meet all the requirements using the least number of loops possible
The first was by far the most important requirement. Not that that mattered since he would not give up until he achieved a loop where all the conditions were fulfilled. He was greedy like that.
While return by death gave him the ability to foresee events and plan accordingly, there was nothing he could do alone against truly powerful foes like the nine divine generals. Strategy and tactics, leadership and guidance, come hand in hand with power and strength. One cannot achieve much with one alone, and his shrewdness can only go so far. Therefore, he needs allies who can perform well in battle to help him achieve his goals. If he expects them to fight, then he has to play his part perfectly and save them all, just like his dad would.
But why would he not save everyone then?
You see, the island was a place where people of all types were sent to live their lives in misery, fighting in a life or death match every other day for freedom. The only thing they had common was that they were all rejected by the empire. They were people condemned for the worst of crimes and were only sent to the island instead of being killed immediately because that was the way of the empire - the strong survive and the weak are crushed. The empire was basically telling them that they could only win their freedom once they proved their strength. He had got to know from his last loop that even the guards that maintained peace and order in Ginunhive were existences exiled from the empire.
But while this was deserving of pity, it did not mean they were innocent by right. He cannot know who to save and who to not, and he would not let bad guys run free. So, he would save only those that he judged to be good.
The second victory condition was to kill Todd at all cost. He was too dangerous. Too cunning. Too damn observant.
'To think that he would notice that I cou - '
Suddenly, the feeling of breathlessness invaded his senses. He couldn't breathe. He needed air. He couldn't see. He needed air. He couldn't move. He needed air. He couldn't even think without air. He needed air.
He thrashed about randomly and violently to try and get out, but he was held firmly in place. His arms and legs were tied up and he was experiencing insufferable pain.
In a dimly lit room, Natsuki Subaru was drowning, his head submerged in a pool of his own freshly drawn blood.
'Air. Air. Air. AIR. AIR. I NEED AIR. GIVE ME AIR FOR FUCK'S SAKE! YOU BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU! I NE -'
"Wha-!"
An arm wrapped around his shoulder, the grip strong enough to break his shoulder blade. He directed his attention in front him to see Weitz giving him a concerned gaze. Subaru just forgot about him didn't he?
"Schwartz?!"
Subaru takes a deep breath to calm himself.
"O-oh it's you Weitz. Go on, I'm fine."
He assured Weitz with a smile. Weitz was reluctant to leave, but he knew the task he was given was of utmost urgency, so he finally left Subaru's side after some insistence.
Subaru doesn't know what just happened to him or where that feeling suddenly came from, but he doesn't have any time to think about it since knows he can't get distracted. He has to, like every other time he returns from death, revise the conditions for victory so he doesn't forget what he needs to do.
The third requirement for victory he needed to fulfill was to complete all the conditions in a single loop, while achieving the final loop with the minimum number of tries possible, as he needs to leave as large of an interval as he can. Return by death was the only ability that he had, an ability that had saved him countless of times before from permanent death. If the ability got compromised down the line from overuse, then he would be rendered practically useless.
He doesn't know what decision he would have made if he had the mind that came with his previous body, but these victory requirements were the priorities he decided in his current self. He can only hope that the Natsuki Subaru of later would approve of them.
'I hope this is the last one'
As Subaru walks towards Hiain he thinks that if all goes well, then this loop could be the final one and that maybe after he escapes the island he can finally relax for a bit. If his conjecture is right then everything will come together and it would only be a matter of time till he achieves his victory.
Some peace and quite felt long overdue. He remembers a time where his life was the most tranquil it had ever been, a time when he had very little problems. It was when he was about eight years old - he and his mother were playing a game of Kakuro. He was pumping his fists into the air adn dancing around, celebrating the fact that he finally figured out how to sold the puzzle. His mother was amused but warned him that while it was great that the puzzle was finally coming together, if they loose even a single piece, they won't be able to complete it.
'Am I an idiot? No, I'm an idiot. Mom is right. Things are not ready yet'
The most important of puzzles can only be solved with all the pieces in hand, and he still feels like he is missing an important piece. He needs a trump card if he's gonna beat someone like Todd.
Subaru continues to walk towards his allies to make the preparations for the coming chaos.
A few meters in front of Subaru lay a dead man with blue skin and four thick muscular arms.
The man's body was mutilated with cleanly cut openings - probably made by a sharp knife. Blood dripped over his entire body, staining what little clothing he wore crimson. The way he was precisely cut open was akin to butchered livestock. A gruesome sight accompanied the cut marks that littered parts of his body.
Where his head should have been, a reddish-white substance could be seen spread all over his upper body. The exploded brain matter was sprayed so violently that its origins would be unrecognizable if not for his missing head. Looking at it, one would think it exploded from the inside rather than out, with every cell of his brain being burst open.
However, in contrast to the sickening sight, Gustav's face remained stoic. Even in death he showed no sorrow. He wore an expressionless face as he fought to the very end for the emperor he swore loyalty to. He had what you could say with confidence the perfect mindset for a soldier.
Unfortunately, Subaru wasn't able to formulate such thoughts or take note of the details of the stomach-churning sight. He was busy being suffocated in the memories brought forth by the despair he felt on seeing Gustav's violated corpse.
- It was happening again. And again he couldn't do anything. Nothing at all. He couldn't even hear their last words - or shed tears upon their death - or whisper an apology.
Forget about not being able to save them, it was his fault they were dying in the first place - he was sure of it.
One by one the warm comforting lights were dying out. He was detached from the world. He couldn't receive any input from the outside or interact with his surroundings. His only solace in the darkness of his consciousness was the presence of the now fading lights. The last light dimmed until it could no longer be felt and a tear was felt in his very soul - a painful sign that signaled the breaking off of an everlasting promise. His heart broke once again and Natsuki Subaru was left all alone in his pain -
This time it was Hiein who brought him out of his thoughts by tightly pressing his arm, urging Subaru to do something about the situation.
What was he doing? He's been through this before, he already knew what he had to do didn't he? Then why was he drowning himself with such useless thoughts while Hiein was protecting him even after Subaru had lied to him? What was he even thinking about? He didn't know. He still doesn't know. He doubts he'll ever know why he was being such a moron. Subaru steels himself and proceeds with his plan.
He runs towards the sphere that lay next to Gustav's corpse, momentarily breaking Hieins mimickery in the process.
"Hiein!"
The moment Subaru's fingertips caught the spell tool, he called out to Hiain, who was camouflaging himself with the floor.
However, his gaze was in a completely different direction - his eyes fell onto the entrance of the office.
He shouts in that direction, "Blow up the whole room!"
And with his, he once again came one step closer to escaping the godforsaken gladiator island.
"This is bad. This is bad. This is really fucking bad! Todd that asshole!"
Subaru curses Todd under his breath. Hiain had run out of Gustav's office while he carried Subaru and was now sitting next to him panting for breath. They were both hiding in a thicket of large bushes. The black sphere that was the cursed tool was clenched in Subaru's hand, still sticky from being inside Gustav.
"I repeat! Governor Gustave Morello has been murdered! The role of viceroy will be taken over by general Arakiya! If you don't want to die by the curse, kill them both!"
Subaru bites back his teeth and realizes that Todd has used Gustav's death and his surprise appearance to his advantage. He should have known better that Todd would use every dirty tactic in the book to kill his enemies and lying to the gladiators should have been an expected development.
'Should I have spent more time trying to save Gustav?'
Subaru is deeply saddened by Gustav's death, no matter how many times he's seen him die already. He was the island's ruler and was not a bad person. He was just loyal and was actually quite a nice guy. Subaru thinks that if he and Gustav met on different terms, they could be friends. However, he didn't have enough time after his checkpoint to convince Gustav to join his side - he learned that the hard way. Since the curse tool was inside his body, he would be Todd and Arakiya's first target and there was nothing Subaru could do to stop them. The only way he thinks he could have possibly saved Gustav was if he convinced him to run with him and stall for time. But, Gustav was loyal to the death, and there was no way he would ever do such a thing.
Subaru shifts his gaze to a different direction and glances at the distant horizon. A few kilometers away, two figures could just barely be made out to be flying at supersonic speeds, constantly sending bright orange sparks everywhere when they violently collided with each other. A heated battle was taking place between the two strongest existences in Vollachia - the 1st ranking Divine General "The Blue Lightning" Cecilus Segment and the 2nd ranking Divine General "The Spirit Eater" Arakiya.
One side with a heavenly sword slicing through the air with a beautiful stroke reminiscent of a piece of art was a blue haired child, on the other with heaps of clumps of mana combining to form raging storms was a demi-human dog girl.
The battle was a display of the clashing of the two isekai like powers of this fantasy world - Sword and magic. The epitome of the powers of this world were dueling it out one on one, swordsman vs magic wielder.
To the eyes of the average person, like Subaru, their legendary battle was just a blur. It was impossible for him to tell who was winning or what was actually even happening. But, he could imagine what was probably going on. He didn't doubt that Cecilius, even in his child form, was enjoying the battle. He was likely taking it easy on Arakiya and slowly getting more and more serious to bring maximum satisfaction from the battle, all while wearing a stupid smile on his face. Arakiya however, was probably not enjoying it as much as Cecilus was.
Cecilus' participation was the key factor Subaru's plan was made from and it held everything in place. It has taken Subaru a lot of loops to find the right words to convince Cecilus to join the battle. Subaru had managed to make Cecilus agree to hold off Arakiya by telling him that Subaru, in exact words, will help him by "making a script befitting the main character of the play".
You see, Subaru had easily figured out Cecilus' character from the very beginning. He was a guy who liked to be constantly showered with attention. He believed that the world had a will of its own and it was always watching Cecilus "perform". Cecilus was a creepy guy that liked to battle strong opponents and when interesting things happened, no matter how unfortunate the turn of events were.
With this in mind, Subaru had convinced Cecilus to help him by adopting the identity that rascal stuck on to him - the identity being the illegitimate son of the emperor. He had taken advantage of Vincent's manipulation and the assumptions of everyone around him. He promised Cecilus that if he fights Arakiya for a bit, Subaru would take him across the empire into the flames of war to fight legendary battles. Subaru thought that this would be a perfect proposition for a battle maniac like Cecilus who always loved to be a part of the chaos, and it would greatly help him to achieve his own goals. Whether Cecilus was amused by his proposition, actually believed Subaru, or just went along with the flow of things, Subaru himself doesn't know - but by some miracle Cecilus agreed to the deal. It was at that moment that Subaru thought that he finally had what he needed to break through the situation.
He was wrong.
Todd had got the entire island on his side by using the threat of invoking the curse.
Fighting a monster like Arakiya was one thing, but all the gladiators, guards and witch beasts actively tracking him down was another entire thing in of itself. With an enemy like Arakiya, she may be unbeatable in a fight, but at least they could try and hide from her and take some time to think of a strategy. With only one mind and one body, there were a number of options, like manipulation and negotiation, they could try to neutralize her - not like he thought those would work with her being on Todd's side, but they still were options. However with the current situation, Subaru was immobile and would always have to be on edge since everybody was a possible enemy. With everyone on the island searching for him, it would only be a matter of time till he was found and once that happened, it would be much harder convincing a large group of people to listen to him than one person alone.
Todd had really pulled one over on him.
He wouldn't be able to convince the other gladiators to join his side with his false identity alone, for Todd was an imperial soldier and Arakiya a divine general. There was a chance that they would listen to him if he showed the cursed tool that he was holding in his hand, but the moment he would begin his explanation, Todd or Arakiya would kill him. Cecilus wasn't so belovelent to constantly protect him. He only agreed to fight Arakiya until he starved of his boredom. In the first place, he probably believes that as the emperor's son he always has some kind of crazy tactic or scheme in place to take care of every possible problem.
But Cecilus was wrong. Subaru had no power in the current situation. However, he would do the little he can, the best he can, until the very end.
He felt extremely bad about the warning he was going to give Hiain, especially after he saved him after a spur of the moment message. Even though Subaru lied about Todd and Arakiya's purpose for coming to the island, he has risked his life to carry him out of Gustav's office in a sudden dash, which was the reason for his current breathlessness. Regardless, Subaru made a motion with his hands that asked him to not move too much, trying to indicate that a person like Todd has insane senses and might be able to read the movement of the bushes to find their location. Hiain understands this and tries to reduce the up and down rising and falling of his chest as much as possible. Subaru doesn't really think that Todd would be able to find him with something as simple as that, but he chooses caution over consideration. Any screws up could cause their deaths.
Subaru and Hiein make their way to the meeting location that was agreed upon by them and their allies in case of an emergency. They meet up with Weiss, Idora, Tanza to discuss their plan of action going forward.
Unknown to the group, an imperial soldier was watching them from above with a colorless look in his eyes, lying in wait in a nearby tree for the perfect moment to chop their heads off.
'That child smells scary'
Todd knows that the child who had managed to escape from him was no ordinary kid. Everything about him reminded Todd of a certain terrifying existence that he never wanted to meet again. From the way the boy was lying in wait for him with all the preperations he needed complete, always a step ahead of him to the way he knew things he possibly can't - it was reminiscent of the poster child of war that he was defeated by in Guaral.
It was like the youth had the mysterious ability of predicting future events. No. It was more like he cou-
'STOP'
He shouldn't get carried away by his thoughts - the child was another threat to the piece shared by him and Katya and that way all that mattered. The specifics of his ability or technique was irrelevant, the only thing he needed to focus on was that it wasn't infallible. It was obvious to Todd that while the youth was quick witted and had the foresight to make proper plans beforehand, he was actually quite reckless with his actions. The smart thing for him to do would have been to find a way to eliminate Gustav before Todd arrived and take the cursed tool from him to use as a bargaining chip. The way he's handled the situation allowed Todd to turn the whole island against him.
He wasn't invincible or perfect. Or even very smart for that matter, just very careful. However, even with his unreal insight, anybody could tell that he wasn't prepared to be hunted down by the entire island. Since the child can't do anything on his own, he would probably be trying to meet with his allies right about now. Todd doesn't think that the child made the necessary arrangements for the current situation. At best, if he was being cautious, he would have arranged for a secret emergency meeting place.
The meeting point must not have been given as much thought as all of the boy's other plans and that is what he'll take advantage of.
Todd knows that the child's objective is going to have to be to escape the island while trying to make his way around the island's chaos. The only meeting spot that would be suitable for such a thing would be a place that was high up above the ground at a point where one can see the drawbridge. This would allow the child and his allies to observe the ongoing disarray in the island from a safe distance with an escape route already secured. It would also need to be a location that is easy to find in the chaos and a place known only to them, so it won't be found by the looming gladiators.
Finding such a place would probably be hard for anybody who hadn't been to Ginunhive before, but the soldier was the unhinged meticulous type. Even though he was told his mission was going to be "easy" by the prime minister, he knew that it would be no such thing and he made many preparations in advance. He had spent most of the previous night memorizing all the locations in the island and the exact layout of them, for that was the only way he could feel safe.
The eyes of the orange haired man fell to a certain patch of land off in the distance and his face turned into a frown.
Subaru makes his way to the clearing to see a deer demihuman girl with a pair of antlers call out to him, with a man with rust-colored hair and a bald man following behind her.
"Schwartz-sama what is going on?"
"Yeah Schwartz, are the stories that are flying around true? The orders of Viceroy Gustav?"
"About me and Hein? No. Gustav-san gave no such orders. It was the messenger from the imperial capital, ... Arakiya, who killed him. No, it was Todd who used Arakiya."
"Todd? Who's that?"
"He's a guy who's scarier than even the sin archbi - "
Before Subaru could even complete his sentence he was pushed away by Tanza, avoiding a fatal blow to his head.
Subaru was knocked onto his back and his head hit the hard ground. He slowly got up on his butt and his eyes widened upon looking at the scene before him. Hein and Idora were impaled by an eagle-like and frog-like witch beast respectively, while Weiss was instantly killed by a surprise swing of an axe to the back of his head. All three of them died and Tanza's body had received the impact from the collision of the witch beasts that Subaru should have suffered. Her body crawled towards him and she clung onto his shirt like an infant would.
Once Todd hears his name being spoken, he will show no mercy.
Subaru could only utter weak mumblings in front of such a quick, horrifyingly effective ambush -
"H-How?"
Todd stays silent and swiftly cuts Subaru's head off without giving a word to answer the youth.
Subaru opens his eyes to see the dead bodies of his three friends and Tanza's injured body weakly resting on him, leaning on his chest.
Todd stands right in front of him looking at him with a cold gaze
Before even thinking, Subaru raises his middle finger to Todd before getting his head crushed by an axe once again.
Subaru opens his eyes to be met with the same exact scene and he starts to realize the cruel reality shown before him.
His return by death savepoint had been updated and his friends were permanently dead.
With this, his first and most important victory condition could never be achieved. No matter what happens now he has lost.
No matter what he does he cannot beat Todd Fang.
"You're too dangerous"
With that familiar line being spoken, memories he ignored to keep his composure, memories of the hellish time Natsuki Subaru had in a certain failed loop came forth.
Repressed memories that were submerged in the deep corners of his mind surfaced. He remembered. He remembered vividly of the time when Todd found out his secret - the secret among all secrets he held - the secret of return by death.