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-OxOxO-

Observer washed her consciousness through the flood of data streaming in from around the Arctic, a trivially easy task for any Siren that wasn't mass produced. Purifier or Tester could have done this sort of job, if necessary.

In better circumstances, Observer would have been imbibing information from thousands or even tens of thousands of points – from mass-produced models to Executor-class Kansen to her fellow Elite sisters to the Arbiters, if this world had been worthy of that kind of deployment.

This world. A small frown graced her face.

World 2-3.1RAD-5-6.3-8.0/A962A5FA1/1/DNF:M-SOE:B. Overall, it was a relatively standard version of the planet most commonly called 'Earth' among the people that spoke English and its variants. The records detailed how the only interesting factor of this world was that being destroyed in battle was not the end of a Kansen's life, and that many avenues existed that allowed Kansen's to escape death.

Interesting did not mean unique, of course. Very few worlds were unique, and that 'interesting' factor was present in 15% of all versions of Earth.

Observer turned her attention away from the data of the past and back to the data of the present, trickling in from around the Arctic. Her current… predicament.

The Sirens were losing. Badly. They had been forced out of all other theaters and contained to the arctic, unable to push out.

This was not supposed to happen.

The ability for Wisdom Cubes, as they were called on this world, to exist in place of radioactive elements meant that the world, in Beyond's estimation, was ripe for conquest. Humans would be unable to create one of their most destructive weapons, and the extraction of Wisdom Cubes would help the Sirens continue their more important experiments elsewhere.

In exchange, this standard version of Earth, which was highly unlikely to provide any new data, would be unable to contribute as much data to the Siren's understanding as it would if another world were chosen. The trade off was deemed as necessary, the creation of enough Sirens to take over the planet was authorized, and the Sirens were dispatched to conquer the planet and extract its resources.

Instead, the Sirens were being beaten. Observer could not understand why. The abilities this world was supposed to have did not qualify for the deployment of actual combat units, unlike herself, Purifier, and Tester.

Billions of worlds that matched this planet's profile had been studied, conquered, or destroyed.

And yet, the Sirens were being pushed inwards, day by day, hour by hour. Even now, their positions along the northern coast of the Northern Parliament were being attacked.

She turned away from those battles – with so little to do, Purifier and Tester had both been doing more fighting than either had been designated to do upon the initial dispatch of the pair – and looked for what could be so different.

There was a higher level of cooperation between the human nations of this world than normal… but it was still well within parameters. Perhaps it was on the high end, but it was nothing compared to some of the worlds the Sirens had faced.

Azur Lane was present, obviously, but it did not have nearly as much investment as on some worlds. In fact, its status in this world was towards the lower end of the percentile.

The Commander was present in this world, and there weren't people who had a similar rank in each of the major or minor factions. They weren't exceptional or interesting, or the world would not have been designated for conquering.

Finally, Observer turned back to the data and gazed back to the beginning of her own existence. Since leaving the hallowed ground where Beyond gazed out across the infinite abyss of a multiverse that Observer could hardly comprehend, she had thought the data she received from the hundreds and then thousands of points of data should have been… more.

She glared across the Siren's past in this world, making the effort to glare in the tangible world. Holes were expected, but the number was much, much higher than it should be in a world such as this.

Even worse, the Siren's normal method of obtaining information the factions did not want them to obtain had been subpar… perhaps even ineffective.

Observer stopped gazing into the past and began looking for something she had expected to use years ago, when the subjugation of the planet was supposed to have finished. As she searched, she concluded that the cause of their inability to conquer this world was located within the holes in their data, or that the holes were a symptom of the reason they had thus far failed.

It only took a moment more for her to locate the calling signal – its original purpose was to tell Beyond that the planet had been subjugated and that the Sirens could begin extracting resources in earnest. Now however…

She activated it, indicated that the situation was a low-level emergency, and beamed her assessment of the situation to Beyond, along with all the data they had spent decades collecting. In the end, she, Observer 2-3.1RAD-5-6.3-8.0/A962A5FA1/1/DNF:M-SOE:B, had been constructed for a single purpose that she had been unable to fulfill thus far. She would implore to be told where she had gone wrong and-

Her thoughts were cut off as she received new orders. For a brief moment, she felt hesitation and worry.

Then they drifted away. If she had been given this job, then it was obvious that she could complete it.

She opened her eyes, glancing around the echoing chamber that was at the center of the Arctic. Spare physical bodies for herself hung from the ceiling, while a few computer terminals lined one of the walls of the triangular room on the off chance her internal connection to the Siren's data was cut off.

She spoke aloud into the empty, cold room. "Purifier. Tester. We have new orders. Transmitting now."

That done, she strode forward to gaze out across the ocean where the vast unbroken sheets of the Arctic, which they had artificially expanded, had once been. Now, they were broken into pieces, made into a maze of water and towering ice cliffs that would stall any attempt by Azur Lane to remove the Sirens by months, if not years, if necessary.

Faintly, she could hear Purifier and Tester reacting to these new orders… but she ignored them effortlessly.

She had to fulfill her duties now. And while she felt some small, lingering drop of hesitation, she reminded herself again that if she could not complete a job, she would not have been given it.

-OxOxO-

The Commander stared through the glass, trying desperately to come up with a solution to the problem in front of him. If it even was a problem? He still hadn't determined that.

When the attack on the Northern Parliament had suddenly stopped, he'd been thrilled. The line could be reestablished and-

When those Siren forces had suddenly begun venturing into the Pacific, he'd been worried, but not alarmed. The Northern Parliament and the Royal Navy that the Sirens had been fighting could sail east while the Sakura Empire, the Dragon Empery, and the Eagle Union's Pacific forces held them off. Not horrible, all things considered, especially if the Siren's forces were encir-

Then, more forces than the Sirens should have been capable of fielding had suddenly appeared off the southern tip of Greenland, storming straight for NY Harbor. It looked like it would be a repeat of-

And then, as the Executor-class and Mass-Produced Sirens were fighting the Eagle Union's Atlantic forces… they'd all stopped.

Observer had walked straight towards Saratoga and surrendered. All of the other Sirens had quickly retreated back towards the Arctic, while Observer stayed rooted in place.

No one had believed her, but she'd even abandoned her rigging. She'd handed it over, cooperatively.

All of that had happened a month ago. She was under constant watch by several Kansen at any one time, as was her rigging – on the other side of the country, separated from its former owner by hundreds of miles. The Arctic had remained silent since her surrender… as had she.

She refused to speak to anyone. No amount of talk would get her to speak, and the more… forceful measures meant to get her to talk had also failed. The brass had been debating whether to send her to the Northern Parliament to see if they would have a better time at it, or whether they would ask the Crimson Axis if they could lend a hand…

She wasn't communicating with the other Siren forces, either.

Or, rather, TB was working with over a dozen specialists, searching for any kind of communication with her forces in the Arctic… and they hadn't detected anything in over a month. They still kept looking, but…

He frowned deeply. The other option, besides asking for outside help, was to listen to her request. It was fairly simple:

"I would like to speak to the Commander."

Fierce debate had raged. Very few thought that giving the Siren what it wanted was a good idea… but very few thought that killing the Siren was a good idea either. They'd threatened her with that, and-

"Oh, please do. I think that Purifier would be very amused by the face you'd make when I came to turn myself in again."

He sighed heavily. Yeah, what a mess…

Of course, debate couldn't go on forever, and they'd decided to send him in and see just what she wanted. He was unarmed, though his bodyguards certainly weren't.

South Dakota, Phoenix, and Wichita were currently on duty… which was another problem. Imprisoning the Siren so deep underground, with several dozen ways to collapse the underground bunker just in case, ensured that she couldn't escape and cause chaos.

It also ensured that there were very few Kansen the Eagle Union had access to that could actually fight her in such close quarters – few had weapons suited for such combat, and even fewer had rigings suited for the task that wouldn't also destroy the bunker. Those that could were already here, and they were starting to get antsy after being underground for so long.

He could relate. He hated it down here, but…

He pushed open the door to the room, nodding to the Siren's guards one at a time. Eldridge followed behind him, while San Francisco was in the other room, ready to put the entire facility on lockdown in case she tried anything, now that he was there.

"I wonder…" Observer began to say. The Commander tensed, as did the Kansen, ready for her to bolt up from the chair she had been sitting in for days.

"For what purpose was this place built? There were many more rooms than this one, and considering the scale, it is impossible that it was constructed between my capture and my internment."

The Commander licked his lips. That was one of the reasons he didn't like it here. He hadn't had any knowledge of this place, which meant Naval HQ was keeping things from him, and-

He ignored what his thoughts told him this place must be for. Observer giggled. "Well, maybe I'll find out soon. That is what we're here for, after all."

"Is it?" he asked. "What exactly are you here for?"

She gave him a beatific smile. "Information. That is, after all, what Sirens made for. I am here for information, which you will give me."

Again, the Kansen tensed. The Commander glared at her – the true purpose of the Sirens wasn't clear, and believing that Observer had just revealed it would be naive. "Really? What information do we have that you don't?"

She shrugged. "I haven't the foggiest. That's why I'm here, and while I'm sure you'll try and drip feed me whatever you have that you think I don't… in return, I'll give you information."

Somewhere above them, he knew that a representative of the brass was listening to this entire conversation. They'd expected to have her present terms, and he likely had the brass on another line waiting for her to finish. He just had to keep her talking. "You would give us information?"

She nodded. "Of course. I am proposing a trade. Go confer with your superiors so that we may begin."

He held her gaze for a moment more, trying to find a hint of… anything, really. Any tiny bit of information would help him understand just what she was trying to do.

But, he did have to get his superiors opinions, as well as give his own. He sighed tiredly – a five minute conversation and he felt completely drained – and turned around to go-

"Why the Commander?" he heard uttered from behind the Siren. He turned around to see South Dakota hovering behind Observer menacingly.

Observer giggled again. "Now now, BB-57. If that is the information that the Commander requests to know, then I will inform him of the reason."

Standing in the doorway, the Commander asked one last question before he left. "And what information will you give us?"

She turned back to him. "Well, anything you wish to know, of course. There are exceptions, but I assume that your superiors will have information of their own that they aren't willing to part with."

With that, she closed her eyes and began to hum to herself. In another situation, he might have found the tune melodic, but in the cell with two chairs, a metal table, and a burning white light overhead, it sounded eerie.

He held the door open for Eldridge and then shut it quickly. He had to see if his superiors were willing to go through with this.

-OxOxO-

It only took an hour, but they – or rather, their representative upstairs whose name he hadn't learned yet – gave him the greenlight. He was having second thoughts about the whole affair. Had Azur Lane not initially broken down over disagreements about utilizing Siren technology? They weren't really interrogating her – she wanted to be here, for some reason he couldn't fathom.

Still. He'd been given the order, with a platitude that playing into her expectations would help them figure out why she was there. He'd almost rather face the Sirens in battle than play this sort of game…

He shook his head as he entered her cell. He'd been given a list of topics to ask about, and he asked Observer about them, one by one.

Observer, for her part, was happy to talk. She talked for hours and hours, giving them information that was detailed to a frankly ludicrous degree, until…

"Personnel files of Sirens? Looking for weaknesses… hmm. I don't think I can tell you about those just yet. However, considering the state of the Siren forces, shouldn't you be more concerned about the nascent Crimson Axis?"

The Commander raised an eyebrow, and Observer just giggled. "I could, after all, provide you with very detailed information about their ships. How about I throw that in, free of charge?"

He narrowed his eyes and nodded his head slowly. The Sirens were well known for pitting the factions and nations against each other in an effort to obtain advantages during their fights. He'd regard anything she said with a grain of salt for now.

As she sat up again, ready to begin reciting the information, he pondered. Was this, perhaps, what she was here for? Make it seem as if the Sirens were giving up while turning the Eagle Union against the human nations it was working with?

Who knew. Hopefully, they'd find out soon so they could get rid of her before she achieved whatever she was planning.

-OxOxO-

A/N 1: No clue if this has been done before, but I wanted to try my hand at the idea. A sort of 'SCP' list of ships, with a historical basis for some, a tenuous connection for others, and more than a few invented because I thought the idea was cool. Plus, an overarching story in the background involving Observer, the Commander, and more.

Probably not something I'll update super regularly, considering the research needed for the ships that will have a more grounded historical basis. Still, if you like it, stick around for more.

A/N 2: The website of the Patrons. Two new chapters of TTtC a month + a chapter of some other story (for this month, this story) + Patron voting on a fourth chapter to post. Plus, anyone who donates gets access to over 100 pages of timelines and summaries of the KonoSuba Light Novels I put together for my own reference. I doubt what I've got is perfect but it is what I'm using, and you can use it too, if you pay.

For more info, look me up on the website of the Patrons.