"So," Jemsyn said, faux-casually, pulling off his helmet and setting it on the conference table. He locked eyes with Theron, ignoring the awkwardness between the Sith and Jedi on either side of them. Theron felt his heart skip a beat. Surely he wouldn't..? Ah, who was he kidding, this is Jem, of course he would.
"Did Satele get custody in the divorce?" Theron froze.
Everything stopped.
Satele sputtered something that wasn't entirely words and Jemsyn frowned thoughtfully.
"Did you not tell Theron who his father is?" and audibly under his breath, "No wonder he has mommy issues." Jemsyn turned to Marr.
"He is your kid, right?" Marr hesitated, looked to Satele for an answer.
"No," she said quickly, "No."
"You see that, boss. He didn't know the answer," Tanno laughed, "He didn't know..." The weequay doubled over in laughter. Lana smothered her laughter with her hand.
"So, if it's not Marr; who is it?" Jemsyn asked, smiling mischievously. He's not about to let go of it; he's like an akk dog with a bone with these sorts of things and Satele knows it. She really has no desire to gossip with the major, so she tells him.
"Jace Malcom."
"Commander Malcom‽" Jemsyn cries in something that is either jubilation or disgust; and nevermind, that is disgust all the way through and the weequay is on the ground laugh-crying. Jemsyn turns his appraising eyes to Theron.
"Well, it's a good thing you take after your mother," he tells the agent before turning back to Satele, "I mean, I know there's no accounting for taste, but really? Commander Malcom? You could do so much better." Satele tries to control her breathing, enter a meditative state of peace, but Theron and Lana are leaning against each other as they cackle. And Jemsyn still hasn't stopped talking.
"I mean, come on– he looks like raw hamburger meat that's been hit by a bus." Satele is blushing an angry red, and Theron's crying, Marr is laughing, and Tanno has stopped making noise altogether.
"I mean," Jemsyn starts again, still entirely earnest, "I'm into older men, but they have to at least be attractive, you know? Not that I'm trying to seduce the commander, of course–" A god-awful choking noise came from the ground and everyone looked down.
"You good down there, Vik?" Jemsyn asked, mildly concerned. All anyone except the mirialan could see was a thumb, sticking up from about table level in answer.
Without missing a beat, Theron asked,
"You fucking my dad, Jem?" Satele chokes and there's another noise from under the table that is promptly ignored.
"You know what?" Jemsyn shouts suddenly, wildly, "Yes! I made sweet love to your raw hamburger ass looking daddy last night!"
And just like that it's over, Lana and Theron are clutching the table to stay upright, Darth Marr is outright laughing, Satele can't even stay mad when Jemsyn flashes that infectious grin, and throughout all of this, Tanno Vik is on the ground, possibly dead and/or dying and Jem still has no idea what Satele ever saw in Jace Malcom.