Anakin didnt want to sleep. he didnt deserve it.

he didn't want to eat. he didn't deserve that either.

he just lay there, on a bed, hoping that soon, he'd die. die of exhaustion, or dehydration, or starvation. die of depression.

why did the force hate him?!

Ahsoka had been thrown out. thrown in. and then left. Obi Wan had died. died. he buried his face in his pillow. Obi Wan's pillow. his brother's pillow. he couldn't stop the sobbs that wracked his body, or stop himself from trembling.

he wanted to die. for it all to end. to stop. it was too much. his head hurt. he wondered if they let Padme in to see him. he doubted it.

Mace sat in the council chambers, pondering.

Anakin had taken the loss of his master much harder than any of them had expected.

now, nobody had seen the boy in weeks. he had kept himself locked inside Obi Wan's room.

he already hated the council due to what happened with padawan Tano. when that had happened, at least, his master was there to calm him, and pull him pull of the dark.

no, he was using a excessive amount of the force to keep everyone and anyone outside of the room. not even Yoda could get though the door. As far as they all knew, Anakin hadn't eaten, or drank anything in the past week or so.

this was not good.

how he had so much strength to keep the door locked was beyond the jedi master. with his lack of nutrition, and apparent force usage, Yoda himself was sure he'd die of exhaustion soon. they were also sure he wasn't sleeping.

was it possible the young knight did wish to die?

their most recent Scheme, had been to have Kenobi fake his death... but Obi Wan had truly died. in Anakins arms too.

Anakin felt trapped inside his own mind. nothing made sense. it had been two weeks since Obi Wan had died, and he couldn't stop himself from reaching out every time it became too much, for Obi Wan only to find the ends of a frayed bond. one that was destroyed.

you couldn't save him.

you couldn't stop her.

you are a failure.

you are worthless.

he felt so trapped. he wanted out of his mind, but it wouldn't listen.

he felt someone trying to open his force lock. he added more power to it, and his vision swimmed dangerously. he shoves it aside and fought who he recognized to be Mace Windu. he fought harder, but after a minute or so, his vision went black.

Mace was suprised when the force behind the door suddenly gave out. Suprised, but worried. He cautiously steeped inside to find Skywalker, no right now he needed to just be Anakin. to find Anakin passed out.

"Anakin. wake up." Anakin moaned, eyes fluttering open. Mace felt as the force shifted trying to push him away, then pain flared though his force signature. he grimaced and then glared at Mace.

"what do you want." He snapped. his voice was hoarse.

"For you to get out of this room, Anakin."

Anakin blinked in surprise at the use of his first name. then a flat-

"Not a chance."

"Anakin-"

"No, master Windu. you push my padawan away. then my master dies. then you can't even catch the bounty hunter, then the bounty hunter does escape. then you remove the bounty... either way. it's-" but Anakin seemed to think better of his words. "nevermind."

"First, right now it is just Mace. none of this 'Master Windu'. while we have never gotten along, it is the council's duty to take care of, and show compassion towards all jedi. that includes you."

"you'd kick me out if you knew half of what I think on a daily basis."

"the council has decided that whatever you say in this room stays in this room. I am not even allowed to say a word of this, save it be a life/death situation."

A ghost if a smile appeared on Anakins face. the ghost of the smile he had when he was about to say something snappy. "so if I told you I was a sithlord I disguise..."

"I wouldnt tell anyone. not unless you were going to kill someone... even then however, unless I had proff you said what you did... I assure you I have nothing recording this."

Anakin took a deep breath, proping himself up in the bed.

he hesitated, his discussion from Palpatine flooding back. he had hah it after Ahsoka left, but Obi Wan hadn't... yet.

"It so unfair! they just- just- ugh! i cant stand the council! they just shoved her away! she... she left me... do you think i should talk to Obi Wan about it? I need him to be my friend but... what if he gets all jedi-y?"

"Anakin, my boy, this is not something the jedi would understand. I think your master would say something very jedi ish... remeber what he did with you mother? what 'advice' he gave over your vision?" Anakin nodded.

"you're right. if I had gone to him, it would've made it worse for me... thank you, Chancellor. "

Anakin shook it aside... his master might have made mistakes, but he would not respect his memory crudely. "where to start... ok, so... remeber that mission? the one right before geonosis, the one to protect Senetor Amidala?" Mace nodded. that had been years ago. just how much was Anakin suffering from? "well, right before me and the senetor went to Genosis, we went to tatooine. I had been having nightmares of my mother dieing. being tourtued and stuff like that. I found her... and she died. right there. in my arms. these sand people on tatooine had tourtued her to death... she never even got to finish her last words..." Anakin looked at his hands, and said, softly, "It hurt so much. and- I just had too many emotions to keep locked up. I- O was never taught how to release my emotions. I didn't know how... my anger took over. I had no control left. and I killed them all. every one of the sand people. even thoose who didn't have anything to do with it. the women. the childeren. every single one... I went to Senetor Amidala. I buried my mother. I promised to never be too late- to never fail again. to become so powerful I could even stop death. after genosis, I Married Senetor Amidala. Padme. And now. the last promise I made to my mother's grave. I failed... with both people that were left for me in the order." he laughed bitterly "you're order expects me to be some great chosen one, but really all I'm good at is failing and letting people down." Anakin sat there for a moment, then- "sorry, I'm just dumping everything on you- I... I said more than I was going to anyways."

"That's what I wanted to get you to do." Mace said softly.

"I always wondered...what do you see in me?" Anakin shook his head. "sorry. you probably just see me as thr boy who crushed the Code into tatters."

Mace shook his head. "I see someone who needs help... and someone who will get it."

"Thank you, master."

One year later, Anakin and Padme welcomed two twins into the world.

their names were Ahsoka, and Obi Wan.