Disclaimer: I am not a Doctor or medical healthcare professional. Although I have tried to research medical terms, they may not be one hundred percent accurate.

Chapter 3: Where is John?

It was late by the time Teyla and Ronon made it to the infirmary. Ronon had insisted that he was hungry and wanted to eat, so after bandaging his hands up they had stopped in the mess hall for some food and gone back to her quarters for an hour.

She knew that Ronon missed John, but she had explained to him how she felt as well and together they had vowed that they would find him, no matter what. It was at that point that Ronon had told her about his older brother Timus and how John had reminded Ronon of him. That was something that Ronon had never shared with her before and now she felt she understood him a little better. She'd never had a sibling herself, so Ronon had become the closest thing to a brother she'd ever had.

When they walked into the infirmary, she was surprised to see that Carson was there, "Carson what are you doing here? Where is Jennifer?"

"She has had to go back to earth for a while, so Mr Woolsey has asked me to look after the infirmary while she is gone."

"It's good to see you, doc?" Ronon commented before sitting on an exam bed.

"Aye, it's good to see the two of you as well, now why don't you tell me what you've done to yourself?"

"Ronon has been hitting the punching bag without gloves on. We are both worried about Colonel Sheppard and Ronon wanted to express himself." Teyla supplied.

"Yes, I am sorry to hear about Colonel Sheppard and I hope that we can find him soon."

"Of course, we will," Ronon stated forcefully, "McKay's on the case and if anyone can find Sheppard, he can."

She wanted to believe that McKay could find John, but right now she didn't hold out much hope. Perhaps she would feel better after a good night's sleep. In the end, Kanaan had taken Torren to stay with him on New Athos overnight, so at least she only had to worry about herself.

A gentle voice interrupted her contemplations, and she hadn't even realised she'd zoned out. She looked up and realised that Carson was talking to her.

"Can you please repeat that, Carson?"

"I asked how you were feeling Luv, today must have been difficult for you?"

"I do not know what to tell you, Carson, it has been a disturbing day for all of us."

She looked over at Ronon and realised that Carson had finished wrapping his hands up, "how is he, Carson?"

"His knuckles are just cut and bruised, luckily there are no broken bones." He turned to look at Ronon before continuing, "next time I suggest you put some gloves on. I understand your need to hit things, but I don't want to see you in here with messed-up hands again. Do I make myself clear?"

The doctor could be scary when he wanted to be and looking at Ronon now, the big man seemed a little scared.

"Okay Carson," Ronon mumbled.

"Good lad, now why don't you go and get some rest."

"I will make sure he makes it to his room," she suggested taking the ex-runner's hand.

"You make sure you head to bed yourself then Lassie, neither of you will be any help to John if you collapse from not looking after yourselves."

She wanted to tell the doctor that it was no use, chances were that they'd never find him anyway, but she stopped herself as she knew that she needed to stay positive.

Smiling at the doctor she let Ronon lead her out of the infirmary. She was beginning to feel weary, and she knew that she should probably head for bed, but she wondered if she would be able to fall asleep.

She let go of Ronon's hand when they reached the hallway, "I am going to my quarters now. Goodnight Ronon."

"Goodnight Teyla. Don't worry we'll find him, and he'll be alright, he always is."

He pulled her in for a hug and she took great comfort from it, she only wished that John were here to hug her.

After a minute or two, he let go, smiled at her and she watched as he headed off to his quarters. She wondered what Dr McKay was doing and whether she should go and visit him, or just go to bed. In the end, she decided that she should go to bed because tomorrow was another day, and she was determined to begin her search for John.

oOo

There was sunshine streaming into the tiny cave when he awoke the next morning. As he slowly opened his eyes, he tried to remember anything from his past and he was disappointed that he didn't know anything more than he'd known the night before. All he knew was that his name was John Sheppard and he had met up with a man named Timus from the planet Sateda. There were a few stray memories he had of another man that looked a lot like Timus, but he couldn't begin to place them, and he wondered whether he would ever regain them. More to the point, would he be stuck on this chunk of rock forever?

Looking around the cave he realised that it wasn't as big as it had appeared to be the night before, but not only that, he was alone. Had Timus deserted him? That would just be his luck, not only would he be stuck on this planet, but he'd be stuck there alone.

There was no need to panic just yet, he told himself. So, he lay still and tried to assess his injuries from the night before. He soon realised that his knee was still aching, but luckily his head wasn't anywhere near as sore as it was the night before. Sighing he tried to stand up and wished that he hadn't when a pain shot through his knee and at that moment, he suspected that he'd done more than just twisted it. He knew that he couldn't stay on the ground forever, so he pushed himself to his feet and limped toward the exit.

The view from the cave entrance was magnificent, he could see the field with the stargate in the distance and he could also see the gang of thugs that had greeted him when he arrived milling around the gate. He was surprised at how many of them they were and from where he was standing, they all looked like ants hanging around a picnic table waiting for crumbs. They were obviously waiting for the next poor victim to come through the gate. He wondered if the men could see him from the gate – he certainly hoped not and he shuddered when he thought what they'd put him through upon arriving.

A branch snapping nearby made him jump, causing him to put wait on his injured knee. He hissed in pain as he fell to the floor, somehow, he managed to crawl back into the cave. It was only then that he realised that it had been Timus stepping on a branch that had caused the noise.

"Geesh, you could have been quieter."

"Sorry to scare you Sheppard, but I made a noise on purpose so that you'd know that I was approaching. If I'd wanted to kill you, I wouldn't have made a noise."

Again, a glimmer of memory crossed his mind – this time it was of the large man that looked like Timus moving through the forest without a sound. He was sure that there were other people with them as well and they were friends, but he just couldn't remember their faces.

Suddenly he felt hungry, so he turned toward his friend and asked, "so what's for breakfast?"

"There's some meat left from last night and I have some nuts and berries as well."

John looked at the berries and wondered whether they were safe to eat or not, but then he remembered that Timus had survived on his own for many years, so the big man would certainly know what was safe to eat and what wasn't.

He sat on an animal skin next to the fire and gladly excepted the meat and berries that Timus handed him. Even though the sun was shining there was still a chill in the air, so the fire was still burning.

His knee was still throbbing, and his headache was beginning to notch up a little, but luckily the blurry vision he had been experiencing the night before had let up.

Looking up from his food it didn't take him long to realise that Timus was staring at him, "what?"

"Sorry Sheppard, but I was just wondering if you were from the city of the ancestors? I have heard stories of a group of people from another galaxy who have taken up residence there."

He had no idea where the city of the ancestors was, and he certainly had no idea whether he was from another galaxy or not. Maybe he was, but he may never know, because his memories from before he ended up on this planet may never resurface – at least that's what a doctor would say. Suddenly a memory of a brown-haired man with blue eyes and a Strange accent flashed across his mind causing an intense pain behind his eyes. He found himself falling sideways and the last thing he heard before he lost consciousness was someone calling his name.

oOo

The day was sunny and warm as Teyla exited the stargate onto New Athos with Ronon at her side. The purpose of her visit was twofold. Firstly, she was going to ask Kanaan if he could keep an eye on Torren for a few days longer – she knew that she would have to explain to her son sooner or later what was going on, but right now she had no idea what to say to him. Torren loved John, no one could get him to sleep as John could, and most nights it only took on a story. When John was off duty, he would spend hours playing and he had even promised to teach Torren to ride a skateboard and surf when he was older – although she had reservations about it. John seemed to be more of a father to her son than Kanaan had ever been.

Secondly, she was going to ask Halling if he had heard of a planet where civilizations sent their criminals and less desirables. There had to be a place where people were sent when governments wanted to make them disappear – didn't there? Not that John was a criminal, he had done nothing wrong. The only thing he'd done for the people of the Pegasus galaxy was to offer them hope in their fight against the Wraith and John hadn't done it alone everyone who now lived in Atlantis brought hope to the galaxy. The only problem was that some people didn't see it that way and that was why John had to suffer, but what Shiana didn't realise was how it affected other people as well – not that she would care even if she knew that.

Sighing she took Ronon's hand, and they began the twenty-minute walk to the village. They could have taken a jumper, but Teyla decided that after the events of the day before she needed time to think and being out in the fresh air with one of her closest friends gave her that time. She hadn't slept well the night before because every time she closed her eyes, she saw the devastated look on John's face when they dragged him away from her. That had been the last time she'd seen him – although, apparently, Woolsey had seen him before he'd been roughly thrown through the gate, by two large security guards. She knew that it may take a long time to get that image out of her head – that's if she ever did.

She looked up from her contemplations and saw wildflowers along the well-worn path and in the distance, she could see a river snaking down from the mountains. It was a stunning view and she wondered if the view was as beautiful, where John was. Shaking her head, she tried to get all the negative thoughts of John out of her head, because right now she needed to stay focused.

Arriving at the settlement ten minutes later, the first thing she noticed was that Halling was sitting in a clearing by a fire with Torren playing at his feet. It was clear that the Athosians had recently finished their morning meal and were beginning to go about their business for the day.

Her first thought was where was Kanaan since he was supposed to be watching their son? Although why should she expect anything different from him as he had barely spent any time with Torren since he'd been born?

Torren was almost eight months old, and he seemed more advanced than a child should be at that age – she had to wonder if Michael had done something to him while she was pregnant. She suspected that he would probably be walking in a month and his speech was certainly developing quickly.

"Momma!" A little voice squealed interrupting her contemplations.

She leant down, picked Torren up and cuddled him close while planting a kiss on top of his head.

"I'll leave you to it Teyla, I'm just going to see what the hunting parties are up to," Ronon told her before walking away.

"I will see you in half an hour," she said to Ronon before turning to her son and Halling, "Halling it is good to see you again it has been many days. I have a couple of questions that I need to ask you?"

She sat down on the log next to her old friend and looked at him with a serious look on her face, "I would like to know where Kanaan is, as he is supposed to be looking after his son."

"I am sorry Teyla, but he went off-world this morning and he has asked me to look after Torren until he returns."

Sighing she looked at her friend with pleading in her eyes, she knew that it was a lot to ask of him, but she thought she'd ask anyway, "do you think that you can keep an eye on Torren for a few days as there are a few things that I need to attend to? Hopefully, Kanaan will be back before nightfall to fulfil his responsibilities toward his son."

"Is that all you came to ask Teyla? I have known you for far too many years to not know when something is bothering you."

Before she had a chance to answer, Torren asked the question that she'd been dreading, "where Da?"

She knew that Torren was refereeing to John, and she always suspected that Torren was trying to say John, but she secretly hoped that Torren was calling John Dad because she could think of no better person to be a Dad to her son. Having no idea what to say to her son she turned back to Halling, she was about to try and answer his question, when Ronon walked up to join them – much to her relief.

"Ronon, do you mind taking Torren for a walk, so I can talk to Halling?"

"No problem," Ronon said picking the boy up and putting him on his shoulders. "I'll see you in about twenty minutes."

Once Ronon had walked away she turned to Halling and explained what had happened to John, a sadness crossed Halling's face as she told her story, and she wondered if he knew of a planet where criminals were sent.

"Do you know of such a planet Halling?"

"I do not know of such a place, but I have heard rumours of criminals from other worlds being banished to a planet where there is no hope of return. I have a meeting with some of our trading partners tomorrow, perhaps I can ask if any of them know of such a place."

"Thank you, Halling, I hope that they can help us, because as brilliant as Dr McKay is I do not believe that it will be easy for him to locate the planet."

She felt comforted when Halling put his arm around her, "are you alright Teyla? I know how important Colonel Sheppard is to you and Torren."

"I do not know what to say, Halling, my emotions are all over the place at the moment, they can change between hope and despair in a matter of minutes."

Halling just pulled her in closer and she was happy to give into his embrace, he was one of her oldest friends and in the early days of her leadership, he had been a great source of strength for her.

"I hope that you will find him soon, and when he is found – and I am sure he will be found – you must tell him how you feel about him."

It appeared that everyone knew how she felt about John except for John and now she may never get a chance to tell him. She knew that she couldn't dwell on that now, because she needed to get back to Atlantis for a meeting with Mr Woolsey.

"Ronon is coming towards us, and we must get back to Atlantis for a meeting. Thank you for keeping Torren with you for a few more days."

She touched her forehead to Halling's, "I will talk to you soon Halling."

"I will let you know if I find any information, as soon as I can."

By this time Ronon had arrived and deposited Torren on the floor next to Halling. For the moment he seemed content – much to her relief.

"Torren I must go now, but Halling and Kanaan will look after you, for a few days."

Torren looked up at her and her heart almost broke at the lost puppy dog look he gave her – she was sure that he'd learnt that one from John. "Bye Momma," he said before she bent down so that he could kiss her on the lips.

She took one last look at her son and grabbed Ronon's hand, and they started towards the gate. There were tears in her eyes as she thought about her son and his connection to John, and she wondered how he would cope without John in his life – more to the point how would she cope.

oOo

Timus tried to grab John as he lost consciousness, but it was too late, and the man fell to the floor with a thud. He had no idea what had caused it to happen, but he suspected that it may have something to do with John's memory loss.

While John was unconscious, he decided that it was a good time to look at his knee – he still had on the ripped pants from the night before, so it shouldn't be that hard. Carefully he rolled John onto his back and undid the makeshift bandage. The swelling seemed to have gone down a little, but the bruising seemed deeper than the night before.

He knew that he had to get to the gate this morning, as he needed to know what Jatel and his men were up to. He also needed to be nearby in case anyone else needed his help, but he didn't want to take John in the condition that he was in. The man could pass out at any moment and looking at his knee, he would be limping all the way. It would probably cause more damage to his knee as well. His only option was to leave John in the cave with a gun and hope that the injured man would be well enough to travel when he got back from the gate.

Deciding that he would wait until John regained consciousness before he left, he threw a couple of pieces of wood on the fire to try and take the chill of the air. Winter was coming and he needed to make it to the other side of the mountain before it hit, otherwise, they might just freeze to death. Jatel and his men seemed content to stay in the area around the stargate, but he knew that the valley on the other side of the mountain was warmer, even though it still snowed for part of the winter. He had no idea how many more winters he could continue to make this trek, but for the moment he had company, so it made it a little easier.

A moan from beside him invaded his thoughts and when he looked down at Sheppard, he realised that his eyes were open, "hey Sheppard how are you feeling?"

"What happened?" Sheppard asked weakly.

"You fainted buddy."

John's voice was barely a whisper as he answered, "don't faint, I passed out Chewie"

He just rolled his eyes at his new friend, "whatever you say, Sheppard," he paused before continuing, "and why do you keep calling me Chewie?"

Sheppard scrunched up his eyes as he answered, and he could sense that the man was in pain," Umm…I guess that it has something to do with a movie I may have watched. I keep getting a glimmer of a memory of a man who looks like you and I think I used to call him Chewie."

He remembered the movie theatres on Sateda, so at least he knew what Sheppard was talking about when he said movies. The only question he still had was, was Sheppard from the ancient city of the ancestors? The more he got to know the man, the more he was convinced that he was.

Rather than pressuring Sheppard further and asking him more about his past – it clearly caused him pain when he did – he decided to change the subject, "how's the knee?"

"I must admit that it feels extremely stiff and sore this morning, so I guess I won't be walking far – unless we have to."

He looked down at Sheppard's knee and realised that it looked swollen again – not to mention incredibly bruised.

"I need to head down to the gate this morning to see what Jatel and his buddies are up to, but as soon as I get back, I think we should move. Winter is coming and we want to be on the other side of the mountain before the snow falls."

"Sure," Sheppard replied, "I think I have a knife somewhere in case I need to defend myself."

"I don't want you getting into a knife fight and injuring yourself further." Before Sheppard had a chance to interrupt him, he continued, "look buddy you can barely stand on your own right now, so I will give you, my weapon. I have no doubt that normally you would be able to handle yourself in a knife fight, but I don't think you can right now."

He handed his weapon to Sheppard and the man's eyes immediately lit up, "is that a laser gun?"

"Yeah, something like that, "he answered rolling his eyes, before bending down to show John how to use it, "it has two settings stun and kill, I suggest that you don't get them confused."

Sheppard slowly bobbed his head up and down, "I have to get myself one of these," he muttered.

Rather than reply, he bent down and took a good look at Sheppard's knee, "now I'm going to put some more herbs on your knee before I go, so hopefully when I get back, we can leave this place."

It didn't take him long to tend to Sheppard's knee, so when he had finished, Timus smiled at his new friend grabbed a knife and left the cave. He knew that his friend would be alright as he was obviously a soldier and used to defending himself. The only question he had now was, was some other poor sucker going to come through the gate today?

oOo

As soon as Ronon and Teyla returned from New Athos, they immediately entered Woolsey's office. Lorne and McKay were already there, and no one looked happy. The distinct impression that Ronon got from their faces was that they hadn't found any information on Sheppard.

"Please sit down," Woolsey directed as they entered the office.

Teyla immediately sat down, but he just stared at Woolsey and remained standing.

"Right, now that we're all here," Woolsey began before turning to McKay, "Dr McKay why don't you start by telling us what you've found."

McKay just stared at Woolsey and shook his head, "I have found absolutely nothing, but as I told you before there are far too many planets in this galaxy to find anything."

"Thank you, Dr McKay!" Woolsey snapped before turning to Teyla, "and does Halling know anything?"

"He has heard rumours of such a place but has no knowledge himself. He has offered to ask around for us, but that is all he can do?"

"What about the Genii, surely they would send unwanted people to a place like this," Ronon interjected.

Woolsey sighed before answering, "I have just finished speaking with Ladon Radim and he either doesn't know of such a place, or he's not willing to share the information."

"Oh, he knows!" Ronon growled.

"Yes, I believe you're right Ronon, but short of torture, I can not force the information out of him, or anyone else for that matter. As it appears that none of our allies seem to have the information we are looking for."

"What do we do now?" Teyla asked and Ronon could sense the despair in her voice.

"All we can do now is keep looking. I have not informed the SGC as yet, but I will not be able to keep the situation from them forever. For now, Major Lorne will remain in charge of the military."

Ronon really wanted to hit something, but when he looked down at his hands, he remembered what had happened the night before and decided that he should go for a run instead.

The minute Woolsey dismissed him he was out of the office, and he started to run towards the uninhabited parts of the city. He heard Teyla calling his name as he left, but right now he wanted to be on his own to think. Sheppard was not lost to them as yet and he was determined to do everything that he could to find him.

TBC…