Dear Red,
You ruined my life. Every time I look back, even during the times that should be joyful a spark of sadness, anger, and frustration quickly overtakes it. After a lot of analyzing and scrutiny I have determined that the sole cause of those feelings is you, not once do I not see you.
I can see a little five year old me running around happily in Gramp's lab showing off to my new friend. You were quiet of course but that was okay. I talked enough for both of us. Still do. It was going well until Gramps started gushing about you, when you showed 'much potential.' I remember not knowing exactly what I was feeling at the time, just that I was confused and a bit irritated and it got worse as we got older.
I remember sitting on a long bench, my knees drawn up to my chest as you stopped in front of me. You were dressed in a black suit just like mine, except yours looked like it fit you a tad bit too small but that didn't stop you from handing me a white envelope, the traditional white and black paper strings wrapped around it. I don't know what was bubbling in me when I hopped off the bench and purposely pushed you aside as I took off but the anger and grief stayed. Stayed for a long, long time after that. I'm sure that was a contributing factor to a lot of me back then.
I started to avoid you. I tried to. It was hard with being neighbors and all. And, Daisy and your mom just not understanding that you weren't my friend anymore. No, we were rivals. In everything, school, pokémon, my family's attention. I know I came off as cocky. Okay, I still do. I pranced around as if I was the best. The strongest Oak. I was going to come at you with everything I had. My plan was always going to be to choose the pokémon that had the advantage to yours. I was going to show you no mercy from the get go. It didn't even matter which one I ended up with. I couldn't imagine my life without Blastoise now though so, I guess that worked out. But, it was like no matter how much I bullied you or pushed you away you would just continue to take it. Not in any way like a doormat. You were never that, despite some kids thinking you would be just because you didn't talk. You always showed them though. No, you would just continue to take it as if it didn't bother you. Like you could just brush it off. Then just kick my ass in a battle when I tried to challenge you. God, it pissed me off. It was like the more I was ahead of you the more I was actually trying to catch up. Did you ever even see me as a rival? Someone you truly had to compete with.
When I got there. When I finally got there. I thought I made it. I knew I had made it. I had beat you there. So, I walked with stride all through Victory Road, my confidence and ego just pumping up more and more with every member of the elite four I defeated. After Lance congratulated me and I walked into the room I could actually call my own, I felt like I could explode. I got everything I strived for, the youngest pokémon champion Kanto has ever known. Now I could show you that I really was the best. Now I could show my Gramps that he could believe in me. That I was not a screw up, until I was. I had the shortest and most embarrassing reign as champion ever. And, of course, on top of that Gramps had to, just had to make it there in time to see me fail.
I remember the look on your face as you glanced over at me before I bolted out the door. The pity. I couldn't take it anymore. I could feel it eating at me so I took off running as soon as I made it outside. Just ran for what seemed like hours until I was lost in the middle of some forest where I just let it out. The loudest most desperate scream that my lungs could produce. My throat burning, my head pounding, and knees hurting after falling down on them. I stayed there, sitting in the middle of the opening until nightfall, a few curious rattata and oddish sometimes coming out to check out the crying weirdo.
At this point I felt like all I could do was run away but you always, always find a way to one up me. Was that your plan? To run away before I did. To find one more way to win. To find one more way to leave me behind. To leave me to suffer as people stopped me to ask me about you. But, I don't want anything to do with you. You've been in every corner of my life and every corner of my memory since I was old enough to remember them and I'm tired. I'm tired of competing and I'm tired of you. As you go on attempting to give yourself frostbite I will be down here, in the real world, enjoying my first memories I create that won't be ruined by you.
Your childhood rival, 30 Minute Kanto Champion, Viridian City Gym Leader,
Blue Oak
P. S. Please come back.