Part II

After Buffy's little talk with her Watcher last night, all time seemed to be passing by with excruciating slowness. She felt completely detached from the world like she was stuck in a black hole where nothing could move or escape. This feeling was not helped in the least bit when she forced herself to attend class that day. Sitting in the middle of her weather and climatology class she actually prayed for an apocalypse; something to get her mind off of her many thoughts of her existence as a slayer.

Buffy sat there in class and just stared at the book that was resting on the top of her desk. The words on the page didn't make sense to her as she stared at them. They seemed to swirl into a blur of shapes and symbols; nothing that she could decipher into what would resemble English. Only in this dream-like state, did Buffy get some sort of release from reality.

Sitting next to her, Willow was not oblivious to the look that graced her friend's face ever since she came home from the Magic Box last night. Willow reached over and whacked Buffy on the shoulder to break her out of the trance that she seemed to be stuck in. "Buffy? Are you alright?"

Lifting her head slightly, Buffy responded with an unsure, "Huh?"

"You seem a little out of it, what's wrong?" Willow asked with concern in her voice.

Suddenly sitting erect, Buffy tried to show that nothing was wrong. "I'm just a little tired, that's all. No problems here."

"Then how come you are still sitting in your seat from class five minutes after class ends?" Willow asked with raised eyebrows.

"What?" Buffy asked as desperately searching for the clock that hung on the wall in front of the classroom. "I'm sorry, Wills. Just thinking about things, nothing all that important."

Willow noticed that Buffy was trying to hide something and she didn't want Buffy to feel uncomfortable so she decided not to push her anymore to tell her the truth. 'I will just have to beat it out of her later,' she thought to herself. "That's ok," she said then quickly changed the subject, "Are we going to head over to the Magic Box now? I hear Giles is going to have the entire gang there for a research party." A smile spread across Willow's face after she remembered the possibility of a research hootenanny.

Buffy smiled at Willow's excitement. "Yep, the entire clan is going to be there. Always fun," said Buffy with the slightest hint of sarcasm in her voice.

Standing up and walking out of the classroom, Willow and Buffy left to go to the Magic Box for more research. While walking out the doors, Willow asked, "So what is planned for us to read today?"

"I'm not sure, probably more information on slayers or something in that nature. Giles has me doing homework for him, God I hate this," Buffy admitted with a sigh.

"Well, think about it this way. Which would you rather be doing right now—reading about previous slayers or hail?" Willow joked.

"Can I have a third option?" Buffy laughed and shook her head at her friend.

As soon as Anya heard the bell ring that announced the entrance of customers, she looked toward the door to see who just had entered his shop. Seeing that it was Willow and Buffy, Anya huffed at the two.

Coming through the doors, Buffy and Willow saw both Xander and Tara busy at work looking through the books that were laid across the tables in neat little piles that Giles had set up last night.

"Hey guys," Buffy greeted as she approached the table. "You seem to be having fun, I can tell," she said sarcastically.

"Always a thrill," Xander admitted.

"You guys got here quicker than I thought you would," Tara said while lifting her eyes from her book to look back at Willow who moved behind her and began to softly stroke the back of her hair.

"Well, you know, we can't wait to being the research party. Gotta love the all night keggers," Willow laughed.

Giles heard the two friends entrance and began to climb down the ladder with a couple of books in his hands that needed to be read for more information about the slayer. While walking down from his high perch, he heard Anya yell, "Giles, Buffy and Willow are here!"

Turning to look at Anya behind the cash register, Buffy quipped, "Thank you, Anya for that wonderful introduction."

"You're welcome," Anya bluntly said not catching Buffy's slight jab.

Once Giles hit the ground, he extended out books for the two girls to start reading. "Willow, I need you to start looking in the Chronicles of Tabitha."

Nodding her head, Willow took the book from his hands and walked around the table to sit next to her girlfriend.

Placing another book in front of Xander, Giles added another book to one of his many collecting in front of him. "Xander, you read the diary of Khoccacor."

"Giles, do you think that is a good idea?" Willow asked him as her eyes raised from her book.

"What do you mean?!" he asked with confusion painted on his face.

"Xander reading that diary. I remember that one briefly. The guy in it has a serious fetish for large bugs," Willow said while looking over at Buffy and making her laugh.

Laughing at Willow's comment, Buffy added, "Yeah Giles, you never know Xander could get a little aroused over there due to his thing for bug people." Both Buffy and Willow started laughing uncontrollably while Anya stood there confused and Giles restraining himself to a soft chuckle.

"Very funny guys," he sneered at them. Giles held the book out to Xander and he ripped it from his grasp.

Returning his attention back to the groups, "Buffy, go up on the balcony and read a little more in the Watcher's Diaries."

"Aye, aye captain," Xander muttered under his breathe as Buffy started to walk up the stairs towards her assignment.

Walking out from behind the counter to join her boyfriend in his reading, Anya said, "Giles, we need more toad wart. We just sold the last of it," as the last customer exited the shop.

Xander didn't even acknowledge Anya's presence as she sat next to him and pulled one of the books in front of her to alleviate some of his burdens. He was too occupied in thinking of some witty comment to throw back at his friends for the poking fun of him.

Finally thinking of something, he burst out, "Buffy, you really have room to talk about dating or people of the opposite sex. The last two guys to were with you put them in the hospital with some traumatic injuries. One had to be in a full body cast for a year after you were through with him. So don't even talk to me about bug-people."

"Calm down, Xander. Buffy's just a little upset over her withdrawl from sex which we don't have a problem with," Anya said aloud while she placed as hand on his knee and slowly smoothed her hand towards the inside of his thigh.

Giles looked up from the book he was reading to eye Xander and Anya suspiciously. "I really didn't need to know that," he muttered under his breath.

Silence blanketed the room as all the Scoobies returned to their books. Willow kept her eyes on the print in front of her until she caught, out of the corner of her eye, Anya stroking Xander's not-to-concealed erection pressing against his pants. Feeling a little nauseous, she excused herself from the table and went up the ladder to join Buffy up on the balcony.

Climbing up the ladder, Willow saw Buffy's head inside her book while she slept soundly. Willow sat down next to her friend and gave her a little nudge to stir her from her slumber. "Learning by osmosis, I see," Willow chuckled.

Jerking abruptly up from her sleep, she turned to look at her friend. "Os… what?" Buffy mumbled with sleep lacing her voice.

"Busy night?" Willow asked with raised eyebrows. She hoped that Buffy would tell her what has been bothering her all day.

"Not really," Buffy admitted as her voice was no louder than a whisper. She remembered what Giles said last night and all of a sudden, she felt tears start to form in her eyes. "I'm really not in the mood to talk about it."

"Alright, if you don't want to talk about last night, you never told me about your date with Tony on Saturday."

"You could probably label that one as a lack of date. It ended rather quickly."

"Why?" Willow pressed Buffy for more information.

Looking back at her friend, Buffy continued, "Cardinal rule: never mix business with pleasure. A group of demons entered the restaurant and I got a little sidetracked with the job. After breaking one of their necks, I kinda scared him away."

Hearing the strain in her voice, Willow wrapped her arm around Buffy's shoulder to comfort her. "Don't worry. It will be ok," she assured.

"That's just it. I scare most men away with my reputation with boyfriends. How can I tell someone I just met and am interested in, that the last guy I dated ended up in the hospital with a concussion and a broken pelvis? That's not something that you really want to share with people," she exasperated.

"You didn't do that to him…" Willow wanted to disagree with her but then the look Buffy gave her quickly stopped her argument. "Oh, well then what happened with him then?"

Buffy wanted to start telling her everything but Willow stopped her. "Never mind, I don't want to know."

"Good idea," Buffy said while nodding her head. "Just another example on the impossibility of Buffy having a normal life. Slaying is my life."

"Don't worry too much. I have this deep gut feeling that you will meet someone one of these days and you will love him and have a family of your own."

Buffy heard Willow's insinuation of the possibility of her having a family and she couldn't keep the tears from trickling down her face. She buried her face in her friend's shoulder and let the tears fall.

"What's wrong, Buffy?" Willow asked as she felt Buffy's tears soak through her shirt.

"I can't have children," Buffy's words were muffled by Willow's shirt that she talked in to. "Giles told me last night that all slayers are not meant to be mothers, we are all sterile."

"Oh my God! I am so sorry," Willow said sincerely as she pulled her friend tighter in her embrace. Suddenly getting angry, Willow added, "Well what do they know, you have always been the exception to the rule. He could be wrong. I mean how sterile can you be?"

"Well basically to say that slayers are more sterile than cotton balls would be an understatement is what I got from the talk last night," Buffy admitted as more tears fell down her cheeks. "That news just crushed me."

"I can understand. Well not really, but I can be empathetic," Willow said while she stroked Buffy's golden hair. "Don't worry Buffy. We will find something to help you here."

Lifting her head off her friend's shoulder, Buffy returned her attention back to the drool-stained book that she was previously using as a pillow. "I will just have to call these books my babies," she laughed.

"That could be a good idea. Maybe these babies will give you some hope," Willow laughed along with her friend as she returned her attention to her book.