CHAPTER SEVEN: A MAGICAL LONDON
Sid the brownie seemed to have taken more of a shine to Felix than first impressions suggested, and it was to a fried breakfast that Felix awoke the next morning. He got up and quietly dressed, and then began repacking the things into his suitcase that he'd needed during the last two days ready to go to London.
The following morning passed without event, unless you counted Mrs. Skipton summoning a flock of pigeons to wake Oscar up. Sid brought him a slice of cake around mid-morning which Felix, still full from breakfast, wanted to decline, but the brownie looked so put-out he gratefully accepted it.
"I heard back from Eliza this morning," Oscar said through bleary eyes. "Bloody bird woke me up at some ungodly hour."
"It was half-past nine!" his mother quipped.
"And she said she's going to be in Diagon Alley on Monday. So we can meet up then!"
"That's great," said Felix, trying not to sound too excited.
"So when we're there… Sid, what are you doing? It's one o'clock in the afternoon!"
The rotund brownie had just entered the front hall of the house carrying a tray laden with biscuits. On there were canary creams, ginger newts, hobnoblins, counter-cookies and a whole lot Felix didn't recognise.
"I was just wonderin' if Master Felix was per'aps hungry?" he said as sweetly as his deep voice would allow.
"Stop giving Felix food." Said Oscar firmly. "He did this to my Uncle Irvine. He came to stay a few years ago for Christmas. Wouldn't fit into any of his suits by New-Years. Then we found out Sid had secretly been fattening him up behind our backs, offering him… things like this! All because he said he didn't like his hat or something."
"Served 'im right," Sid grunted. "Almost took the doorframe with 'im when he left."
Cora came round with Mr and Mrs. Wick that afternoon. She said goodbye, and then told them to go away when they made her promise to behave. When they lined all their luggage up in the yard there were five suitcases, two brooms, several further boxes, two caged owls and Felix's cat. On the very top of the pile was a tattered fold-up deck chair.
"Urgh," Cora scoffed as she saw Oscar's Gryffindor robes folded in one of the boxes. She was, of course, in Slytherin, Gryffindor's rival house.
"What's up? Green with envy?"
"I considered staying somewhere different than the Leaky Cauldron this year," Mr Skipton said. "But it's amazing how difficult it is to find somewhere that will put up two owls, a cat, and three grumpy teenagers. Now," he motioned towards the deck chair, "have we travelled by portkey before?"
They all nodded. A portkey was object that was enchanted so that it could transport witches and wizards to a specific location. The object was usually something so ordinary that it wouldn't be noticed by muggles, or anyone the portkey wasn't intended for.
"I tried to get this one to work for bang on four o'clock, but for some reason the closest I could manage was three twenty-nine. So I make it that you've got five minutes to run and grab anything you've forgotten."
Four minutes later the five of them were stood around the pile of suitcases, each leaning in to grab part of the deck chair.
"Three. Two…" Mr Skipton managed.
Before he could say 'One!' the garden of St. Sherwin's Court had turned into a blur. Something fierce clutched the back of Felix's neck and thrust him forward through… through just what, he didn't know. He felt his feet leave the ground. There was a rushing sensation as though he was speeding forward extremely quickly. Then something large, and broad appeared in front of him. He braced himself, readied his legs…
The floor of the Leaky Cauldron crashed upwards into him. Felix fell forward and staggered desperately before crashing flat out upon the slate floor. Behind him he heard Oscar and Cora do the same. A few 'tut's came from the bar. Picking himself up, Felix saw that Mr and Mrs. Skipton had only just managed to keep their balance by bracing themselves against the pile of suitcases. Both owls squawked loudly in their cages, whilst Kazoo immediately scampered for cover beneath the nearest bench.
"I'd cut them off, Tom," someone laughed. "Can't even stand up!"
"I knew you said you'd be dropping in," the bartender said through a half-toothed smile, "but I didn't think you meant like this."
"Didn't realise it'd be this busy," Mr Skipton brushed himself down. "We thought by coming early we'd avoid the crowds."
"Don't come to a pub at half three on a Friday night if you want a quiet couple, that's my advice!"
"Anyway," Mr Skipton sidestepped between a couple who were helping pick up some of the boxes that had been dropped upon their entrance as he made his way to the bar, "I trust you've still got rooms?"
"Oh, don't worry yourself about that. This lot'll be out of here by none. Ten… maybe eleven. We've got half the house available."
The Leaky Cauldron was just how Felix remembered it. There were few candles, and little light was allowed to fall in through the upper windows, making the bar area appear dark and shadowy. A rustic wooden staircase led up to the first floor where the bedrooms were, above which cobwebs and hug hung. But despite the shabby and threadbare appearance Felix knew why, to wizards, it was one of the most reputable places in London.
The pub acted not only as a beer or alehouse for witches and wizards looking to raise tankards. The Leaky Cauldron was also the gateway to the magical village of Diagon Alley which could be accessed only through the back yard of the inn. This meant that anyone wishing to visit Diagon Alley would have to pass through the pub, and only a week before the start of term, that made it a very popular destination.
"So what are we doing for the next five days?" Oscar asked, finding a table and trying to steal a sip of his dad's Dragon-Scale Ale.
"I think your father's got quite the itinerary for you," Mrs. Skipton said, moving the drink out of reach of her son.
"Tell me, kids," Mr Skipton said, "have you ever been to London before?"
"Dad, we've been to London every year since we started Hogwarts," Oscar said, as though reminding his dad the Earth was round.
"Yes, you've been to King's Cross, and Diagon Alley, but I doubt any of you have been to real London. It's one of the greatest cities in the world, and I'm not just saying that from a muggle perspective. London is as rich in wizarding history as anywhere! We're going to start tomorrow by touring the haunts of the notorious Eldon Elsrickle."
"Who"
"Who?! Only the most prolific burglar in wizarding folklore. Haven't any of you read Hogwarts: A History?"
"No." The three of them said together.
Hogwarts: A History was the textbook assigned to their History of Magic lessons, which were by far the most boring hours of their school week. Professor Binns- ancestor to Mr Binns from St. Sherwin's Court, Felix had learnt- was the only ghost teacher at Hogwarts, and still taught as though it was the seventeenth century. The most interesting thing about his lessons was guessing which wall he'd enter the classroom through.
"Well," Mr Sherwin smiled, "it's a good job we've got the best part of a week to knock some culture in there. And then when you get to school, perhaps Professor Binns will remember you for something other than the Topiary melee!"
The next day Mr Skipton got them all up early. After breakfast he led them out of the Leaky Cauldron and onto Charing Cross Road, and from their they negotiated the gridlocked traffic of red double-decker buses and beeping black taxi cabs. They followed him until they reached a red pillar behind which a line of people were standing.
"We're not getting the bus, are we?" Oscar moaned.
"This isn't just any bus. Now let me see," Mr Skipton murmured, examining a ticket. "We want to be on Level Two, third, fourth and fifth row from the back."
They were only waiting a few minutes before a maroon open-top bus pulled up beside them.
"Sights of the city!" called a megaphone from above them. "See London for a price like no other, on a bus like no other!"
"You know where you're going?" asked the driver as Mr Skipton showed the tickets.
"Level Two, towards the back?"
"Window seats sound the best," he winked. "Less interference, see."
They hadn't so much as climbed the narrow stairs to the top deck when the bus set off, making them cling for the rail. A commentary began to ring out around the bus. Felix knew it was magic as there was no one speaking, no source of the sound, but the muggles aboard didn't seem to notice.
"And if you look out to your left you'll see the famous Leicester Square, named after Robert Sidney, 2ns Earl of Leicester. Heavily industrialised nowadays, the area was originally strictly residential, and its layout closely resembles that of…"
The voice continued, but as Felix made his way towards the back of the open deck there was a crackling noise, and when commentary resumed it was no longer talking about Leicester Square.
"The Palace Theatre was once a wizarding safehouse, built in the seventeen hundreds as a bastion against the muggle rebellions. After a duel between residents blew a cavity in the middle of the building in 1890, the fortress was abandoned and sold to a muggle looking to put on a play, and the blast impress was converted into the auditorium."
"Okay, Dad, this is actually quite cool," Oscar said as he slid into a seat.
"You're father doesn't do the boring and mundane," Mr Skipton said. "Only the best for his son and friends."
"Yeah right," Oscar muttered.
As they proceeded, their guide turned the focus onto Eldon Elsrickle. Felix had to lean in, for being on the aisle seat he kept hearing the discourse flicker between the infamous robber and nearest tube stations. They drove past a glamourous-looking building which was said to be the first location Elsrickle was known to burgle. As they went between locations, the commentator offered background information into Elsrickle.
"I'm sure you all know about the Unlocking Charm. Well it's said it was actually brought to the Western World when Elsrickle saw a wizard practising the spell in Nigeria. Since there was no known counter-charm, there was little defence for his crimes. He would…"
The then the bus turned sharply and Felix leant into the aisle.
"…On the right hand side you can see the Charles Dickens museum, home to the world-famous author of Oliver Twist, Great Expectations and A Christmas Carol, which is a well-worth experience if you've got an afternoon to fill…"
"…Elsrickle was said to have summoned a strong wind to blow out the street lamps around his target's house to avoid any risk he might be identified."
Their tour continued out of the centre of London and towards Camden, and then to Islington and Hackney before returning to the river.
"The Tower was used in the Sixteenth Century to imprison and torture those suspected of having magical properties," the voice said as they passed the great column that was the Tower of London. Of course, no real witches or wizards were ever fool enough to be captured, but it put quite a stir amongst the magical community. And now we come to Pudding Lane, where the fire of London was said to have started at that very bakery. It wasn't until years later, when the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures raided the house next door to find a Welsh Green Dragon tethered in the basement, that the exact cause determined."
"Cool," said Felix, "I wish we had a dragon in our windmill. It'd really give the muggles something to talk about."
"And here we come to the last stop of our tour." They had pulled up opposite a huge cathedral with a domed top. "Conveniently," the commentary went on, "it's right next to St. Paul's Cathedral so the muggles will have something to look at whilst I tell you about Blagdon Blay."
"Bag who?" Cora frowned.
"After having his house broken into NINETEEN times in the space of a fortnight- you do the maths!- Blagdon Blay, accomplished wizard of his time, decided it was time to put a stop to the mischief. He set about creating a counter-charm, and was very successful in doing so. He sold his spell, and wizards- and muggles with the help of a special Ministry taskforce- were at Elsrickle's mercy no more. In fact, so frustrated was Elsrickle when he found his spell rendered useless, that he forgot to put his pet nundu to sleep when he let himself in early that morning. Ironically, his last word- apart from perhaps: ARGHHHHHH!- was Alohomora."
"So what did you think?" Mr Skipton asked eagerly.
"It was alright," said Cora. "More interesting than Binns, anyway."
"It was alright," repeated Oscar, "but wasn't there anything more interesting we could've done? Like watch Duelling, or go on a boat ride?
"It's very interesting," Mrs. Skipton said. "Without it we wouldn't have the Unlocking Charm. Or, more importantly, the counter-charm."
"How do you create a spell?" asked Felix.
"That's very advanced magic," Mrs. Skipton said. "Only witches and wizards with the greatest understanding and mastery over magic can do such a thing."
"But then why don't the really powerful wizards just create loads of new spells for stuff?" Oscar asked. "Like, make us invisible to muggles? Or let us fly without a broom?"
"I imagine it's far more complicated than that," Mr Skipton said. "I'm sure there are a lot of things even the greatest of us can't do. I'm sure if we could have broomless flight, we would."
The bus brought them back to the stop on Charing Cross Road, and they stumbled back down the narrow twisting staircase. But as they left, they saw someone they noticed waiting to board.
"Torrington!" said Felix, rushing forward to pat him on the back."
Toby Torrington was one of the four pupils with which Felix shared his Ravenclaw dormitory. Oscar and Cora, being in Gryffindor and Slytherin and therefore not as acquainted with the newcomer, nodded politely.
"How's it going, Fernsby?" Toby smiled. "Had a good summer stuck in your windmill?"
"Not bad. Scaring muggles never gets old."
"Who've you come down with? Wick and Skipton?"
"Oscar's mum and dad said we could come along. We've come early to see some of London and get the shopping in before it gets really busy."
"I'm not too worried about the shopping. I think all I need is one book for Herbology."
"Toby," called the woman in front of him. "You'll see your friends soon, but this bus isn't going to wait forever."
"Well, I've got to go. If I don't bump into you here then I'll see you at school."
They said goodbye, and headed back to the Leaky Cauldron.
"Can we go into Diagon Alley when we get back?" Oscar asked. "I want to see who else is already in town."
"Well Eliza said she's coming on Monday," Mrs. Skipton said. "That means you've got tonight and tomorrow to see as much of the city as possible."
"And boy," Mr Skipton said, "are we going to have a blast!"
That evening they met up with an elderly wizard in a dark cloak outside the Leaky Cauldron who said he was taking them on a ghost walk around the streets of London. Felix knew all about ghost walks from Breezy-Tops, with the eerie setting giving the village one of its primary tourist attractions. There were plenty of spots around the town where the actors would claim strange things had been seen, or that gruesome deeds had happened there. But Felix was astounded when they rounded the corner of a cobbled street and saw before his very eyes the gliding figures of ghosts weaving from building to building. He had seen similar things at Hogwarts, for the many dozen ghosts that roamed the castle would often congregate at the feasts, but apart from Bramwell in his windmill he had never seen one in the outside world.
The guide proceeded to tell them about certain spectres, and even introduced them to some of the more friendly ones.
"Let's see if we can find Professor Binns," Cora said, and they all laughed.
The next day was no more relaxing. They first went to see a muggle telephone box which Mr Skipton insisted was the entrance to the Ministry of Magic. They didn't believe him until they saw someone enter and vanish the second the door closed. Then they went to what looked like an old department store, but inside found themselves in an ornate, white reception area belonging to the St. Mungo's Hospital.
"Oscar, this is where you go when Felix hits a Bludger at you too hard," Mr Skipton had laughed.
"Him? On that old thing?" Oscar had responded whilst doing an impression of Felix falling off his broom during their Third Year.
But after that they finally found somewhere they didn't complain about being taken to. Along the curved brickwork of an old building were the words in great metallic letters UDIF: MISQUOTED MUCH? But before Felix could ask what the letters UDIF stood for they rearranged themselves, and in their place were the words MUSEUM OF QUIDDITCH.
There, they spent a happy hour and a half looking at all the different types of medieval brooms, and commenting how uncomfortable they looked. They saw the tapestries that showed the origins of Quidditch, of people on brooms hunting a small bird called a snidget which, according to the plaque below, became the Snitch played with in the modern game. There was a floor to ceiling panel outlining all the seven hundred fouls that might take place in a Quidditch match, which they read whilst holograms of real players rocketed past them.
And that evening, even against Oscar's complaints that his legs already felt like Scaulsby Scamper's- a Seventeenth Century Quidditch player who'd had both legs crippled after someone had replaced the Bludger with a ball of painted granite- Mr Skipton led them all into the dark alleyways of the city to see the sights of several murders from the Nineteenth Century.
"A phantom killer called Jack the Ripper, that's how the muggles rationalised them," he explained. "But little did they know there was there was a vampire and a boggart loose in London at that very time."
"There could be one here right now…" said Cora ominously.
"Even if there was, they are a well-integrated part of the Wizarding World. You must have done this at school by now? There are laws and safeguards in place to allow them to live peacefully among us."
They finally did make it back to the Leaky Cauldron. Oscar and Felix had the twin room, whilst Cora had the single next door. But when they got back there was no talking and laughing. Mr Skipton's tour had thoroughly exhausted them, and they went to sleep knowing that they'd soon be in Diagon Alley.