Chapter 1

Brave New World

(A/N: "Avoiding the Limelight" portrays a character dealing with PTSD, depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts following the brutal deaths of her friends. This story is meant to be an encouraging, optimistic story about a young woman who overcomes her struggles on a daily basis, but its real life subject matter may be upsetting to some. Reader discretion is advised. God bless, and I hope you enjoy)

Jessica Cruz was approaching the four year anniversary of her friends' murders. She and Phoebe had been going camping together since either could remember, and once they'd gotten their driver's licenses, it quickly became their preferred way of getting away from their parents. On one particular camping trip the summer after graduation they had brought their boyfriends. It was supposed to have been the celebration of that particular chapter in their lives closing, but instead it had been the end of their stories.

Phoebe, David, and Ethan were all dead, and Jessica was just as trapped in her apartment as her friends were in their coffins.

It was thanks to her father being a successful architect that Jessica was able to afford being four years jobless. All of her groceries were delivered to her apartment, and she paid for everything online so that she wouldn't have to open the door and speak to strangers. If there were murderers hiding out in the woods, then it was only logical that they'd also be hiding in suburban communities.

The day before yesterday had been a good day for Jessica. She'd gotten out of bed, showered, and even made herself something mildly healthy to eat. Then she spent the entire day playing Pokémon and watching cartoons until she eventually fell asleep. The perfect day in her estimation.

Yesterday however she hadn't gotten out of bed and spent the entire day crying into her pillow, apologizing to her dead friends for getting them killed, and to her family for being useless.

Today she had gotten out of bed but hadn't eaten, nor had she turned on her Gameboy. She just curled up into a ball on the floor and watched cartoons. Jessica knew all of her childhood VHS tapes by heart, and although they weren't all entirely lighthearted, it was comforting to know them beat for beat and how each of them ended. She felt little to no anxiety watching them, and for an hour or two she was able to forget about wearing Phoebe's blood and how worthless she was. Then her sister called asking how she was doing...

Jessica lied throughout the entire conversation, and Sara accepted each and every lie with practiced patience. The same would be true when her mother and father called later that week to make sure she was still alive. In Jessica's mind that's all the phone calls were now. Wellness checks. She wanted them to stop, but she didn't know what she'd do if they actually did. Probably just spend a few extra hours crying each day.

Her family knew better than to visit her apartment unannounced. Jessica didn't clean often, not that she'd ever been particularly tidy, but the pitying looks they'd give her always made Jessica feel extra ashamed. The few times a year they came to visit, her family always made sure to give her plenty of time to prepare, but not too much that she agonized over the impending visit.

On such occasions Jessica would spend days preparing her apartment. She didn't live like a pig by any means, not an unruly one anyway, but sometimes in the middle of picking up dirty laundry, she'd curl into a ball and cry, and wouldn't get off the floor for hours.

Jessica lied when she told her sister she was alright. She wasn't, and after four years of hiding in her apartment, she wasn't getting any better. Thoughts of suicide entered her mind every few hours, but the thought of actually killing herself made her sick. She cried whenever she saw a gun on television. The sight of blood caused her to break down even worse, and she'd immediately have to shower in order to wash Phoebe's blood off. Sometimes Jessica would go days without a shower, and other times she couldn't go more than a few hours.

She didn't like the idea of her parents finding her hanging from the ceiling, and overdosing on pills would've been tricky since she'd have to visit a doctor in order to get a prescription, and afterward speak to a pharmacist. Sometimes there were advantages to suffering from analysis paralysis.

Jessica died in her nightmares every time she closed her eyes. So why couldn't she just stay dead? What was the point of living if you weren't really living?

"I don't know..." Jessica answered. She repeated these words countless times a day. Something was broken inside of her. She didn't know what exactly, and the more she looked within herself searching for the source of her faults, the more she repeated it to herself. "I don't know..."

On a whim, she turned off the lights and sat by her favorite window to stare out into the darkness. Jessica was always careful to make sure would-be murderers couldn't see into her apartment. She was almost as afraid of them as she was of her neighbors.

A couple dozen teenagers and college age kids were partying around the pool and Jessica couldn't help feeling envious. She loved swimming and missed it dearly. She was a natural athlete, being particularly talented at track, soccer, and basketball, but being a star athlete meant people having high expectations of you. If you didn't win or get first place, then you were considered a failure.

Jessica's anxiety hadn't been nearly as bad back then, but some of her greatest fears had been making a mistake and costing her team the win, and thereby disappointing her parents. For that reason she had joined the swim and chess teams instead, and had coasted through high school being inconspicuously mediocre amongst her peers.

"Phoebe liked swimming," Jessica thought to herself. "She-"

Her thoughts shut down and nearly an hour passed without Jessica noticing. One thought led to another and then another before circling back around. This had been her life for nearly four years, but something was different this time. Happy memories usually hurt as much as bad ones, sometimes more, but this time she genuinely smiled for the first time since she knew when.

Jessica remembered the time she and Phoebe went swimming with their boyfriends at the lake. The two of them took off their bikini bottoms and threw them at David and Ethan, who in turn removed their swim trunks and threw them in response. Jessica and Phoebe then slipped on the boys' trunks and gotten out of the water, laughing and running away when the boys chased after them. Although Jessica had a particular weakness for the male physique, nothing looked sillier than a naked guy running.

She laughed aloud at the memory, thinking of how she and Phoebe had fallen to the ground in hysterics, and how the guys had taken back their trunks and removed the girls' tops for good measure. What followed was the naughtiest game of tag the world has ever seen, and it lasted until the couples finally couldn't keep their hands off each other.

Jessica's skin prickled the more she became lost in memory. Her face was scarlet, and she could hear Phoebe teasing her, as well as the boys who always seemed to chase the girls longer than was necessary.

'I didn't know tag could be a full contact sport,' Phoebe said with a wink and sultry smile.

Jessica lived almost every waking moment with regret, but she didn't regret that particular camping trip. It was one of her most cherished memories, and she hoped the others had felt the same. She-

*BANG!*

Jessica jumped to her feet at the sound of gunfire and dived away from the window.

'They found me!' she screamed to herself. 'Oh God! They're going to kill me!'

She began to crawl toward her fully stocked pantry which doubled as her safe room but hesitated, and not just because of her usual indecisiveness. Jessica had imagined this exact scenario countless times, but in all those other situations, there hadn't been kids playing at the pool.

Jessica raised herself off the floor just enough to peek out the window and saw the teenagers flailing about the pool, uncertain where the gunfire had come from and even more uncertain where they should run. Whether she did anything or not, more blood was about to be on Jessica's hands.

She ran for her balcony to try and get their attention but changed her mind at the last second. She'd be a sitting duck up here, and she'd still be too far away for the kids in the pool to hear her. Instead she ran to her front door which had two chains, two bolts, and a reinforced security bar leaning against it.

Jessica undid the locks and opened the door, and trembled at the terrifying sight before her. In four years she had only stepped out of her apartment to retrieve her groceries and mail, but for the first time since Phoebe was alive, Jessica ran to the end of the hall and down the flights of stairs.

The sense of deja vu made her want to vomit, and not just because of the gunfire. Jessica didn't belong here. She belonged in her apartment where it was safe, but she had to try and save Phoebe, David, and Ethan.

She rounded a corner and began screaming, pointing in the direction of the machine gun. In her hysteria however, Jessica had slipped back into speaking Spanish, and although she had everyone's undivided attention, they couldn't understand a word she was saying.

A friendly face waved and Jessica cringed away. "Happy Fourth of July," he said, grinning ear to ear. Jessica jumped when explosions went off overhead, and her eyes were briefly filled with falling stars that reminded her of the flashes of a gun.

Jessica stood paralyzed, the gunfire slowly transforming into the familiar sounds of fireworks. Far more horrifying that being shot and murdered however was being the center of attention of the entire pool party. Many of the teenage and college age boys were looking at her in approval, and it was only then that Jessica realized her attire consisted of black panties and a white sports bra that did little to conceal the chill in the air or her goosebumps.

"Looks like someone's been drinking early," said one of the boys. "You can drink with us if you'd like, mamacita."

Everyone laughed at her, and Jessica ran just like she had the night her friends were brutally murdered.

Jessica took the stairs two, sometimes three at a time and threw herself against her apartment door promising that she'd never come out again. She'd grow old and die in her apartment before she ever showed her face again.

The door didn't open however, nor did it even budge. "No!" she shouted. "No, please no. This can't be happening!"

She fell to her knees beating on the door, pleading with it to unlock. She even tried praying, both in English and Spanish, not that it had done her much good these past four years.

A million scenarios overwhelmed her by playing in her head all at the same time. She could try asking her landlord to let her back in, but he already didn't like her, and might enjoy seeing her in her underwear. She could call her parents for a spare key, but she'd have to ask a neighbor for their phone, and her parents being there would only make her feel worse. Besides, she hadn't picked up the dirty laundry off the floor.

More and more visions played in her mind, each one worse than the last. What if she called her parents and they got angry at her for calling so late? What if her dad had an important business meeting tomorrow and she caused him to lose a bid because he didn't get enough sleep? What if they were in a car wreck on the way to her apartment? Jessica wanted to vomit, but she hadn't eaten anything all day, so instead curled into a ball and cried.

"What's wrong with me?" It'd been weeks since her last panic attack. "Mamá. Pappi. Help..."

How long she remained lying on her welcome mat she didn't know. Downstairs everyone was having the time of their lives, and every time fireworks shot off, Jessica screamed. She wanted to cry for help but was too scared to speak. The murderer was going to find her. Her parents were going to disown her. Her neighbors were going to yell at her for making too much noise. Then she'd be kicked out and homeless. The paramedics were probably going to laugh at her for dying in her underwear, and not even her good pair.

"Jessica Cruz," said a strange, robotic voice.

*sniff*

"I-I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'll be quiet. I'm sorry..."

"Jessica Cruz," the voice repeated, "you have the ability to overcome great fear."

She raised her head and discovered that she was being bathed in green light. She wiped the tears from her eyes but they must've been playing tricks on her because it almost looked as though an emerald ring was floating in front of her.

"I should've listened to Mom and gotten my prescription refilled." She closed her eyes and took deep breaths like the therapist taught her, but when they reopened, the ring was still there.

"Jessica Cruz, you have the ability to overcome great fear."

She might've laughed any other time, but instead she just cried. "I'm an idiot. That's what I am. Worthless. Useless."

"Welcome to the Green Lantern Corps, Jessica."

The ring flew onto the middle finger of her right hand, and immediately Jessica became imbued in light and power, the kind of which she could've only imagined in her wildest dreams. The kind where she saved her friends instead of watching them get shot.

She felt brave, strong, and even confident. She hadn't felt like this in years, possibly all her life. Just as she was beginning to enjoy the sensation however, it was over, and Jessica was left cowering in front of her apartment in her underwear. She wiped away the remaining tears and studied the ring. Despite looking like something out of a cereal box, it was completely weightless and warm to the touch. Where a gemstone might've been was instead an emblem that everyone on Earth would've recognized.

"Green Lantern..." She'd heard of the Green Lanterns of course. They were some sort of intergalactic police force, but as far as the inhabitants of Earth were concerned, they were superheroes. Last time Jessica checked, which admittedly was a while ago, there were four Green Lanterns on Earth, and all of them were members of the Justice League.

"Five, soon to be six," the ring corrected. She couldn't tell whether the voice was coming from the ring or inside her head, or both, but it made her want to cry. There was always a chance she'd start crying when people spoke to her, but she didn't know why.

"This has got to be a joke, mistake, or some kind of nightmare." If the Green Lanterns or Justice League thought she stole the ring, they might think she was a supervillain. What if she got locked up in Arkham Asylum with the Joker? Maybe a mental institution was where she belonged regardless of hearing voices.

"This is no dream, Jessica, nor is it a mistake. Or a joke. You were willing to sacrifice your life for the sake of strangers. It was not the first time, and you conquered your greatest fear in doing so. For your bravery, you have been selected and found worthy of joining the Green Lantern Corps."

"I made a fool of myself," she sobbed. "I had a panic attack and hallucinated. Then I ran out of my apartment in my underwear, and now I've locked myself out."

"Try the door again, Jessica."

"W-why? It's locked."

"If you do not trust yourself, trust in your ring."

"I don't want a stupid ring!" She tried to remove it but found the ring glued to her finger.

"Trust me..."

Seeing no other option but to listen to the voices in her head, Jessica tried her door again. "See? I'm-" A green light escaped from the ring and entered the keyhole, and a moment later the door clicked open. "H-how?"

"Lantern Cruz," the ring interrupted, "in my search for Earthlings worthy of this ring, you alone stood out among the rest. Your bravery is what led me to you. Your bravery is beautiful."

"All I did was step out of my apartment!"

"And you conquered your greatest fear in doing so. For four years you have been too afraid to leave your apartment, but just now you did so for the sake of strangers. You believed you were going to die, but you stepped out anyway. It is not the first time you've acted selflessly in the face of danger."

Jessica ran back inside her apartment and redid all the locks before slumping to the ground in the exact same position as before but on the proper side of the door this time. "I-I can't do it. Whatever it is you're asking of me, I can't do it." She forced herself to take deep breaths.

"You have already overcome your greatest fear, Jessica. The Corps asks of you nothing more and nothing less. I am to be your guide, and you will be my Lantern. Together we shall overcome great fear together, and worshippers of evil shall beware our might."

"I'm scared..."

"Around your finger rests one of the most powerful weapons in the galaxy, Jessica. No bullet can harm you while you wear this ring, and it'll allow you to protect others just the same. This power cannot make you feel worthy, or strong and courageous on its own. Only you can do that, and you can and will. If you accept this offer, repeat the words I've implanted into your mind. You already know the ones. Only those who are worthy can hear them."

Jessica saw the words but was too afraid to speak them. What if it was just her imagination? What if she got tongue tied? Would the ring punish her? Would it fly off her finger and find someone actually worthy? Would the entire world know how unworthy she was?

"It's just another hallucination," she told herself.

"If none of this is real, then what's the harm in playing along?"

"I'm pretty sure my therapist told me not to play along with hallucinations, but I guess it's a bit too late for that, huh? Okay, Ring, have it your way. I don't care anymore anyway..."

Using the wall for support, Jessica got to her feet and held the ring above her head, and concentrated on the words that seemed to have been there since the beginning. It was almost as though she couldn't remember a time the words hadn't been there. Even still, she said the words half-heartedly, knowing in her heart that nothing would change.

"In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil's might beware my power. Green Lantern's light!"

(A/N: Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed. I became a fan of Jessica Cruz after watching the "Justice League vs. The Fatal Five" animated movie, and have since gone on to read several of the comics including her. For the most part I think her stories are a hit or miss, but I really do like the idea of a Green Lantern suffering from anxiety, and Jessica's character as a whole. I did alter bits of her origin for the purposes of telling this story, but also because Jessica being a hunter, survivalist, and expert marksman just doesn't really fit with her character in my opinion. There are several portrayals of her character existing currently, and this just happens to be mine for the purposes of entertainment.

In my opinion just about everyone can relate to Jessica on some level. Some just more than others, and I am no exception. For anyone who has or is currently fighting the same battles as Jessica found my portrayals realistic, but more than anything I hope you found her story encouraging. Her story isn't finished however, and I hope you enjoy the coming chapters.

The cover image for "Avoiding the Limelight" comes from "Justice League: Forever Evil #30". Jessica Cruz and all other superheroes featured in this story are owned by DC Comics.

All credit goes to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who has blessed me with this story and wonderful readers such as yourself. God bless)