May 22, 2018 ( /7rJ-sBAhzE0)

Well, they had a good run. Fighting monsters, finding lost treasures. These last 5 years had been the best of their life. However, they were getting far too old for this now and had to call it quits. This had become all too apparent when both of their backs had given out on them while they had been carrying some crates that normally they would have no trouble with. On top of this, Stanley had recently been diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer, due to his old habit back in the day, and Ford's case of Arthritis was beginning to get worse. He could barely hold a pen by this point, let alone pilot a boat in stormy weather. It was sad, but if they wanted to live long enough to see their great-niece and nephew, Dipper and Mabel, have children, they couldn't keep up this adventuring lifestyle. Though one did have to commend them for keeping it up to the age of 70.

He and Stanley had landed in the State of Connecticut about a week earlier and had been enjoying some much-needed R and R. Tomorrow they were going to start their drive across the country and reunite with everyone in Gravity Falls and hopefully make it in time to see Dipper and Mabel arrive in town for their annual summer visit to the town. However, they had not told anyone this through their recent letters and were going to make it a surprise.

Ford got off the phone with someone who was giving them a trailer so they could take their boat, the Stan-o-war II back with them. Along with some other souvenirs and treasures they had collected over the years.

He then asked the barkeeper to close his tab and went to find his brother so they could head back to the hotel. But when he got to where Stan had been sitting last, he wasn't there anymore. He looked out the window and saw that his brother was talking with an older woman, though definitely not as old as either of them. Ford sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Of course, Stanley was doing that.

Minutes earlier, outside: Stanley and the woman were staring at each other with death glares.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Marilyn Rosentine." Stan greeted.

"Ah! Stetson Pinefield. I wondered if I'd ever see you again." Marilyn wore a smirk on her face. After a few moments of silence, Stan finally spoke up,

"Do you know how long it took me to find my car again after you stole it!?" He accused.

"Correction. I borrowed without permission. You of all people should know the difference," She defended herself

"Oh! So sneaking out of my house with all my winnings and taking my car for a joy ride a mile out of Vegas isn't 'stealing'?" He emphasized that last word with quotations.

"You got it back eventually! I'd consider that borrowing!" She argued.

"Ah-Okay fair enough! But…" The two continued to bicker and argue with each other like a married couple for a few minutes before one of them accidentally said something counterintuitive. Causing both of them to burst into laughter.

"Haha! You haven't changed a bit!" Stan whipped a tear from his eye as he laughed.

"Heh. Neither have you," Her laugh had a snort mixed with it.

The two then engaged in a conversation about recent big winnings they both had recently had, and the best scams they had pulled. Eventually, Stan asked the question that was bound to come up,

"Okay. Let's cut to the chase. I know your real name isn't Marilyn. So come on, spill the beans." He made a come-on gesture with his hands

"I could ask you the same question, Stetson. I mean come on. How many people do you know named Stetson?"

"Only if you tell me yours first," He bartered.

"You first!" She replied.

"100 bucks says you first." He pulled 100 bucks out of his wallet. Marilyn sighed but smiled.

"Fine. You still remember my weakness after all this time?" She asked.

"It's the same as mine. Makes it hard not to forget," He explained.

"Heh. Names Edalyn Clawthorn. But most people call me Eda," She greeted.

Stan stared blankly for a few seconds. Then,

"PFFFFFT! HA! Hahahaha! Lady, if you're gonna keep it a secret, at least make it equally as believable as Marilyn. Though I got to hand it to ya', props on that last name. Very creative."

Eda merely rolled her eyes. She figured that would be his reaction. That's why she'd changed her name to Marilyn in the first place. She waited for his laugh attack to calm down and then asked him,

"So, what's your real name, handsome?" She asked as he got up off the ground.

"You want me to be honest? Or are we both going to continue to keep secrets?" He jabbed. Eda glared at him.

"Alright alright! I was just messin' with ya'. My real name is-"

"Stanley!" Ford cut him off in the distance.

"Wait? You changed your name from Stanley to Stetson?! Ha!" She teased.

"Oh, you're one to talk! Miss Edalyn to Marilyn. If either of those are even real," He rebutted. Ford soon joined the scene and stood between the two.

"Ma'am, is this man bothering you?" He asked.

"Oh no, not at all. We're just catching up with each other," Eda explained. Ford's eyes widened in disbelief. He looked back and forth between the two.

"Wait. You two know each other?" He asked, not quite believing what he'd just heard.

"Hah! Know each other!? We were married to each other, albeit for 6 hours. Before she stole my car and gave the Las Vegas police probably the best chase of their careers," Stan explained. Ford gave both of them a disbelieving look.

"It's true. We scammed two whole casinos out of $4 million collectively," Eda recalled. Ford's jaw dropped,

"$4 million?! Stanley, why haven't you brought this up?! Do you realize how useful that much money would be for us?!" He interrogated his brother.

"You know, that's an excellent question. Edalyn? Where's that money gone?" Stan asked slyly, emphasizing her name which he was still certain was fake. Eda's face twisted into a conniving smirk.

"Here. There. Everywhere," She gestured.

"I see why you'd like her," Ford readjusted his glasses and patted his brother on the back. Stan shot him an, over the glasses glare.

"So are you two like, twins or something?" She pointed from one to the other.

"Huh? Oh, oh yeah! This nerd here is my twin brother Stanford," Stan introduced.

"Call me Ford; and you are, Edalyn? Right? I've never heard a name like that," Ford extended his hand for a shake. She obliged. Stan barged in,

"Probably 'cause it's fake. Just like her other name, which ironically, is more believable," He snarked as he folded his arms.

"Stanley!" Ford scolded.

"What!?" Stan argued. Eda intervened,

"Well, you know, I guess you could say my name is a little…other-worldly?" She phrased it as if she was attempting to make a joke. The two of them just looked at her with one raised eyebrow.

She walked up between the two of them and put her arms around both of them.

"Well, it's been nice catching up with you and meeting your twin. But I gotta bounce. You know how it is," She unwrapped her arms from around them and turned to leave. However, before she even got two steps in, Stan spoke up,

"Alright, give me my wallet and watch back," He held out his hand.

"Ah, darn. Thought I could get you this time," She turned and made that exaggerated arm movement snap. She proceeded to pull out his watch, wallet, and then car keys. She tossed them to him and smirked when she saw his look when he saw his car keys.

"Okay, maybe your skills have improved a little bit," He begrudgingly admitted. Though there was a hint in his tone that said he was impressed.

"Hm!" She closed her eyes and tilted her nose up slightly, placing her hands on her hips simultaneously.

"Now, just to be clear, you weren't planning on taking my car for another joyride were you?" He inquired.

"What!? Me? Never! What would've ever given you that idea?!" She faked being offended.

"Heh! Never change toots!" He gave her a two-fingered salute as he turned to leave.

"Muah! Byeeee!" She kissed the palm of her hand and waved to the two of them.

"Gooday, madam," Ford bid her adieu.

The two men made their way to Stanley's car and as they did, Stan pulled something out of his pocket and chuckled to himself,

"Heh. Sucker." He examined what he'd got off her more closely and saw it was a skeleton key that seemed to be made out of copper, based on the colour of the material. Set within the bow of the key was a yellow eye with a slit pupil. Ford's eyes widened with concern. His mind instantly flashed to his experiences with Bill Cipher. He was about to say something when out of nowhere, a small owl swooped down and grasped the key in its beak and flew towards the forest.

"Hey!" Stan yelled,

"You Dumb Bird! That's my bounty! Get back here!" He was about to give chase but Ford held him back. Ford wasn't going to give chase to the animal, though he could've sworn that its eyes had been glowing a bright yellow, and not the way animal eyes normally did. However, he wasn't certain enough to think it necessary. Plus he was admittedly starting to get tired. They got to the car and then Stan asked him something,

"Hey Ford, did she pickpocket you at all?" Ford suddenly realized that he hadn't checked if she had taken anything previously. He instantly patted himself down. When his hand got to his ray gun holster and he felt that it was empty his eyes widened with fear and his tiredness was replaced with adrenaline.

He looked back at where they had come from and saw the silhouette of Eda holding some sort of staff, run into the trees. As she turned to run into the forest, it may have been the shadows being weird, but he was certain that he saw a fairly sized pointy ear poke out of the giant mop of hair on her head. He shook off that momentary distraction and pursued her.

He quickly realized that she was far more spry than even the average person in their prime, and she looked to be at least in her late 50s, maybe mid-60s. He eventually gave up and stopped to catch his breath before he saw a flash of light appear, and then quickly vanish. He investigated the area the flash came from and saw that her footprints mysteriously vanished into thin air. The adrenaline left his system and he yawned. He could always make another ray gun if he needed to. He joined his brother in the car and the two headed back to their hotel for a good night's sleep.

Eda stepped through the portal and emerged back in the Boiling Isles. She then pulled the key from her pocket and pressed the eye on it like a button and the portal closed like a door, and then folded into a suitcase. She placed it down beside her and began to unscrew the owl decoration from the head of her staff. When the owl was completely removed it hooted and came to life.

"Great job back there Owlbert," She scratched him around the neck and Owlbert hooted happily and nuzzled against her hand. After a few more scratches she screwed him back on her staff and he went back to being a decoration. She then pulled Ford's ray gun out of her hair and examined it. She concluded that it was probably a little too dangerous to sell at her stand tomorrow with all her other human stuff, and definitely too dangerous to give to King. She didn't want to know what that little maniac would do with this thing. At first, she thought of just keeping it hidden somewhere in the house where King wouldn't find it, but she quickly realized how impossible that would be. She ultimately decided it would be better to just chuck it into the Boiling Sea since she wouldn't be needing it for the authorities and she had her magic.

She stuffed it back in her hair and placed her staff horizontally in the air and let it hover there. Owlberts wings then unfurled at the front and she picked up the portal and mounted her staff. After taking a quick detour to dispose of the ray gun, she flew back to the Owl House for a good night's sleep. Well, as good as you can get in the Boiling Isles anyway.