"Geez, I don't even know why we hold these meetings, sometimes. They're so boring."
A white haired man with golden eyes lurched forward as he was beginning to succumb to the boredom of having to come all the way out here in a desolate cave for some silly 'Witch Cult Meeting.' It's not like anyone got along, or cooperated with each other. The reasons as to why Pandora-sama drags them all out here in hopes of 'harmonious coordination' is nothing but a fairy tale in her mind. At least according to Regulus, since he despised everyone here.
Thankfully, there was one thing that would make this slog of a meeting pass by with some semblance of joy; Regulus's newly bought appas! Err…more like stolen appas. He didn't really give the salesman much of a choice.
The man slowly walked through the damp cave in search of the basket holding his most favorite fruit. When he saw the familar brown weaving, his eyes lit up in satisfaction. With a confident smirk he strode towards the basket and reached in with closed eyes, only to find nothing.
His eyes opened up in shock. He had left about a dozen appas in there before he left! He went to check if anyone else was at the meeting, but the section was empty so he decided to take a short walk instead. He didn't expect his appas to be fruitnapped!
Firey anger flashed within his golden eyes. With a simple kick, he demolished a cave rock beside him scattering debris and rubble everywhere.
Furious and looking for blood, Regulus stomped on the ground sending dust clouds and shards of rocks flying into the air. Hell was awaiting whomever took his precious appas.
They had to be nearby, Regulus was sure of it. And when he did catch them, he was sure they would end up as nothing more than scattered red mist. He began his search, ready to slaughter the unfortunate victim who decided to mess with the infamous Regulus Corneas.
They couldn't have gone far. In fact, they were probably still in this damn cave. Regulus's suspicions were correct as after angrily walking through the dark caverns for a while, he heard a loud crunch.
With eyes bloodshot and teeth baring, Regulus turned to face the direction of the noise, to find a petite blonde woman laying on her side eating an appa without a care in the world.
"YOU!" Regulus pointed and shouted. The scantily dressed woman opened her eyes in disinterest and turned to face Regulus who had just been illuminated by the nearby light.
"Huh? What do you want, Corneas?" she asked flippantly.
Regulus's eye twitched as he forced a fake smile. "Oh, I think you know exactly what I want, Capella," he snarled in disgust.
The woman in a skimpy black and purple outfit simply shrugged at the man in a white robe. "Eh. Not really." She then went to take another bite out of the appa.
"That's the reason! That! Right there!" Regulus pointed and shouted. Capella looked annoyed as she glared at Regulus.
"Hey, what the hell is your problem?" she sneered. She sat up a bit and looked at Regulus with a bored expression, the appa still in her hand.
"My problem is that you've stolen MY appas you wench!" Regulus yelled. "Give them back!"
Capella blinked before a sadistic smirk appeared on her face. "Oh? You mean this appa?" She tossed it up in the air and caught it.
Regulus was almost shaking in pure fury. "Yes. Give. It. Back. Now…" he growled. Despite his menacing tone and tremendous power, Capella didn't seem phased at all.
"Hmph! Make me!" she said as she stuck out her tongue.
Regulus breathed heavily as steam practically blew out of his ears, nostrils flaring. "Capella, you are lucky that I am a kind and patient man, so I will let you off with a warning. But if you wish to keep your head, you will proceed with my demands. And all that I politely ask for you to do, is return what is rightfully mine."
Capella giggled devilishly, before lifting the appa up to her mouth and taking a large, slow bite.
"You fucking bitch! I'll kill you!"
Regulus swung his arm in the air, sending an invincible blast of wind towards Capella's direction. She just managed to barely dodge the attack, looking back to see the rocky wall behind her crumble to dust.
"Woah! That was close," she murmured to herself. "Gah!"
She leapt forward just in time to avoid his second attack of dust particles used to demolish where she was perched. Knowing that now was the time to start running, she shapeshifted into a tiny fly in order to properly avoid Regulus's wrath.
"Don't think your pathetic little authority can escape me Capella! I'll nail you to the wall and tear you limb from limb!" Regulus threatened.
Using the rocks he just destroyed, he sent the shards towards Capella's way as she flew through the air. Being a fly, she could avoid them quite easily now. Her tiny wings buzzed as she zipped through the cave dodging Regulus's relentless attacks.
She made her way through a cave tunnel, hearing Regulus's footsteps right behind her, as well as him shouting and screaming bloody murder at her.
"Come back here and pay for my appas with your damn life! It's the one thing your miserable existence can make up for! Do you know how much trouble I went through to get those appas? Do you know the shit I went through?! How many annoying knights I had to dispatch because they wouldn't let me take my damn appas and leave?! I got those appas fair and square! And you just eat them right in front of me? How dare you! I'll kill you! Stop running you bitch! Let me obliterate you!"
As Regulus continued to rant and shout and Capella, two Witch Cult members were walking down the tunnel together chatting about nothing in particular.
"I don't know, man. Why is it that we don't have a Sin Archbishop of Envy?"
"Because it's forbidden, or something. I don't really know. Honestly sometimes it feels like the rules are made up as we go along," one replied.
"Yeah. And why don't we have a Pride, yet? You'd think there'd be one after it being so long since the previous Archbishop's death."
The hooded cult member shrugged. "Beats me. Maybe Pandora-sama has plans for one of—AAUUGHH!"
"Holy shit! Yornell?!"
In an instant, one of the Witch Cult members was sliced into pieces due to one of Regulus's many air slashes. The other member soon lost their head, literally, as Regulus used his authority to shoot another projectile at the insect he was chasing.
Capella was starting to get desperate now, flying frantically as Regulus just wouldn't let up. Was he always this fast?! She increased her speed to give herself a momentary boost, and turned an exit out of the tunnel system into a more open area.
Shapeshifting back into her more preferred form, her eyes lit up deviously as she saw someone who could possibly save her.
A sickly green-skinned man with bulging eyes who appeared to be holding up something important. "How delightful! This item! This glorious item! Starting as just a simple seed, growing into a delicious red object for consumption! How delectable! How palatable! How succulent! How appetizing! How scrumptious! These will do well for The Ordeal, feeding our loyal, trusted, abiding, devoted, faithful members! How could I have not thought of this before!? How slothful am I!?"
"Aahhn~! Petelgeuse-sama! You are always so intelligent and thoughtful! How wonderful! How wonderful you truly are!" a woman completely covered in bandages spoke excitedly.
Taking her chance, Capella went to stand beside Petelguese and clutched onto him, hiding herself. "Y-Yes! How amazing you truly are Petelgeuse-sama!" she beamed innocently.
"Huh? What are you doing?" the woman in bandages spoke flatly. She stared at Capella with a blank face, a terrifying aura radiating off of her.
"Back off Sirius. It's myyy turn to be with Petelgeuse-sama," Capella smirked.
Petelgeuse wailed as he clutched onto his dark-green hair and pulled manically. "How could I have been so slothful!? So truly slothful! Ignoring the needs and wants of a fellow Sin Archbishop! How hideous of me! How terrible of me! How sickening of me!" He then turned to Capella nonchalantly as if he didn't just scream at the top of his lungs. "What can I do for you?"
Sirius's face morphed into that of utter despair as her beloved paid attention to another woman. She collapsed onto her knees nearly weeping. "Oh Petelgeuse-sama! How could you disregard me so?! But, I still love you! I know it is not your fault!" She then stood up and let the hooks under her robe fall to the floor. "I just need to remove the problem and everything will be back to normal."
"Capella! Where did you run off to!" Regulus shouted. He ran out of the tunnel he was in to see Capella clutching onto Petelguese and Sirius about to drive her hooks into her from behind. Regulus rolled his eyes.
"Oh great. It's lunatic number one and lunatic number two. Can you disgusting lovebirds go fornicate somewhere else for the moment? I have a bug I need to squash," Regulus muttered darkly.
Sirius didn't register anything Regulus said except for when she and Petelgeuse were mentioned. She swayed her hips side to side in a lovestruck manner. "M-Me and P-Petelgeuse-sama?! F-Fornicating?! Ohh! T-That isn't really allowed in the gospel…but…"
The thought of Petelgeuse and Sirius doing the dirty was enough for Capella to hunch over on her hands and knees and start hurling, upchucking the contents in her stomach onto the cave ground. Regulus also soon registered what exactly he had said, and after a brief second of pondering what that would look like, he soon lost all appetite for appas, coughing and hacking himself.
Petelgeuse looked between the two worriedly. "Ahhh no! How could this be?! How is this possible!? You two are ill! Violently ill! I am truly slothful for not noticing your aches and pains! My…my brain…my brain trembles!" He bent over backwards after pacing around like a lunatic, shouting to the heavens as Sirius bounded next to him.
"Do not worry about them, Petelgeuse-sama! Let us leave them here to die, while we enjoy these lovely appas!" she suggested. That caught Regulus's attention, and he recovered from his coughing fit to stomp towards the two.
"So it isn't just that wench!" Regulus snarled. "You two lunatics have stolen my appas as well!"
Petelgeuse stared at him without even blinking. "Pardon me. But how are these exactly your appas?" he inquired.
"What are you talking about, you crazy man! I bought them! You hear me? I BOUGHT THEM! Which means they are MINE! And YOU don't have the right to TAKE them from me! That is a clear violation of my rights!" Regulus screamed as he stomped his foot as he was throwing his tantrum.
"But if you liked your appas so much, why did you leave them all alone for anyone to come by and take them?" Sirius genuinely asked. Regulus stared at her and furrowed his brows.
"Shut up. No one likes you," he spat.
Sirius gasped and took a step back. "That-That is not true! Take Petelgeuse-sama for instance, he loves me!"
"No. He loves that damn witch," Capella spoke up. Sirius glared hatefully at the petite woman.
"Shut up! It's you two that no one likes! The only people that likes you two is each other!" Sirius yelled.
Regulus and Capella both laughed with sinister smirks. "Me? Like her?"
"Me? Like him?"
"Not a chance!" the two of them said in unison.
"Ehh? I was sure the Archbishop of Lust and the Archbishop of Greed were often partners on missions assigned by the gospel," Petelgeuse mused.
"Yeah! Because the gospel said so! Not because we actually like each other!" Capella spat back.
"Me and her being anything more than mere acquaintances is impossible. Besides, I'm a married man," Regulus said proudly.
"I pity them. I bet they're as dry as a desert," Capella quipped.
"Fucking bitch! I'm still gonna kill you!" Regulus shot an attack of his at Capella, who just narrowly dodged it.
"Hmm? What is going on here?" a new voice spoke up.
Regulus turned to see the Gluttony trio walking together. With appas in their arms.
"Damn it all!" Regulus screamed. "Why are you all taking what is rightfully mine!"
"Lye. What is that weird man rambling on about?" the only girl in the trio asked.
"Beats me, Louis. Best to just ignore him. Hey Roy, slow down will ya? Those appas ain't going anywhere!"
"But they're so tasty!"
Regulus ran towards them with his arms outstretched. "Give them back!"
"Woah now! Everyone scram!" Roy shouted as he threw the appas he was holding into the air. Louis hid behind her brother as Lye protected her from Regulus's temper. Roy mainly just left them to fend for themselves however and was attempting to crawl through a crack in the walls before Regulus yanked him out.
The Gluttony trio ran in fear as Regulus chased them in the cave. Sirius was still trying to get Petelguese's attention, and Capella was laughing the entire time.
Before Regulus could annihilate everyone in the cave, a heavenly figure appeared catching the eye of all the Sin Archbishops.
"Now everyone. Calm down. Everything will be all right." A delicate woman with skin as white as snow and the hair to match with it, along with a pure white robe strolled into the cave with a loose smile.
Everyone stayed silent and bowed to her, even Regulus. "Finally!" he exclaimed.
He ran up to her like a toddler about to tattle on someone. "Pandora-sama! Listen to this! These…fiends! They all stole something precious to me!" He glared at the other Archbishops who stared blankly at him. "They must be punished! Please do something about them, or hell! Let me deal with them! You can bring them back later, I just want to kill them just on—"
*Crunch*
Regulus's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He looked down at the woman betrayed as she was munching on a bright red appa.
"Go on. I'm listening," Pandora assured as she took another bite.
"Hu—gu—wh—hn—ki—mrr—?!" Strangled sounds escaped Regulus's lips as he convulsed in madness. After a few moments. He took in a deep breath and lifted his hands up.
"You know what? No. I'm done. I've had it for today. I'm done, I can't deal with this anymore. Goodbye. I have had it. See you later."
He walked over to a wall in the cave and blew a hole through it, walking out into the sun, still muttering to himself. "Not gonna bother. Not gonna deal with it. I have had it. You all can do whatever, I am not going to take part in it."
Pandora looked between all the other present Archbishops and tilted her head curiously.
"Did I do something wrong?"
She didn't get an answer as everyone watched Regulus walk off into the wilderness, still talking to himself.