"Lenny Bruce is a morning person," Midge commented with a grin as he walked into the bedroom in nothing but a towel. "I never thought I'd see the day."

"I like it," he said with a shrug, just a tiny bit self-conscious. "It's…peaceful. A good time to write."

Midge smiled, finding his embarrassment over his new clean living lifestyle really rather adorable.

Studying him, she was finally able to appreciate how good he looked since his spell in California; he was surprisingly tanned and fit, lean but not too skinny in the way he had been before he left New York, with the dark circle around his eyes all but disappeared. She may not have been a fan of the state herself - getting anywhere without a driver's licence was virtually impossible, not to mention the perma hippiness of the people and the unforgiving nature of the sun against her pale skin - but there was no denying it had treated Lenny well.

Their relationship had been fractious on the occasions they had crossed paths in the months post-Carnegie Hall, only for Lenny to then abruptly fall off Midge's radar entirely. All Susie could get from his manager was that he was "on the West Coast", so it was only when Midge later received a letter from Lenny telling her that after one far too close of a call, he had checked into a rehabilitation facility, that she could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

As they corresponded over mail, his growing openness in the letters surprised her. He missed her, he told her, and he was sorry for the way things had been, but he was happy to hear she was taking every opportunity that came her way. Those letters eventually turned into phone calls, which turned into Midge using a business meeting not too far away as an excuse to visit him not long before he checked out.

"It's good to see you," Midge said, smiling as she slipped her hand into Lenny's. They were seated next to each other on a bench in the impeccably maintained centre's gardens. Looking out, Midge wondered idly how they managed to keep it looking so green and lush despite the consistent heat.

"It's even better to see you," Lenny replied, taking a second to drag on his cigarette before he continued. "I know this place is helping me, but fuck, I feel like I'm gonna go crazy sometimes talking to the same people about the same shit day in, day out."

"But it's helping?"

"Yeah," Lenny said with a slightly reluctant nod. "I can't believe it, but I actually think it is. It feels like I'm finally understanding things, getting somewhere."

"That's great," she said as she squeezed his hand, electing a smile.

"So, you got a meeting in Hollywood?"

Midge shrugged, keen to play it down. "I mean, it probably won't lead to anything, they just want to talk to me about some late-night television guest spots."

"I saw you on Gordon Ford the other night, you were fantastic; they'd be crazy not to want to do something with you."

Midge felt herself blush, compliments somehow meaning so much more coming from Lenny. "I don't know, I feel kind of a fraud when you're the one who should be making television appearances and talking to people in Hollywood."

"Don't do that," he said, shaking his head firmly, his voice just on the right side of not angry. "You are so fucking talented. You deserve everything I've had and more."

Midge smiled. "Maybe once you're out of here, we could…think of doing something together. A gig, television…or maybe even a movie."

"I think," Lenny said with a grin, "that is a fantastic idea. I've actually been writing a lot since I've been here, so who knows," he shrugged, "maybe some of it might even be worth turning into something."

"It's like Papa said to me once," she said, affecting her fathers posture and tone as she continued: "'Miriam, whatever comes to you, you have to write it. The blank page is your enemy.'"

"You know, I think he might actually be right," Lenny said, his eyebrow raised in surprise before he dropped his cigarette to the floor and extinguished the embers with his shoe. "So I'm hoping, once I get out of here, Kitty can come and stay with me. Just an odd night at first, see how it goes, maybe she can even come to live with me in New York one day."

Midge loved seeing him talk about his daughter like this. He looked more nervous at the prospect of trying to rebuild his relationship with her than she had ever seen him about anything else - Carnegie Hall included - and in that, she could see the level of pure love he had for her.

"And I was thinking…" he continued, not meeting her eyes for a moment before he got the courage to turn to her. "Well, I'm gonna stay in California for a while - you know, get my shit together so I'll be less likely to relapse - I was wondering if you'd like to come and stay with me." He let his words sit for a second before anxiously adding with his best nonchalant shrug, "Just for a weekend even…"

"I would like that," Midge agreed, her face lit up as she smiled. "A lot."

"OK," he said with a smile of his own and a nod of his head, exhaling a breath he didn't realise he was holding.

"OK," she repeated, grinning.

They looked at each other for a moment, neither sure what to say, their relationship still so undefined when it came to labels like boyfriend and girlfriend.

"I should probably go," Midge eventually offered.

"Right," Lenny said, nodding his head, "sure."

Midge stood first, smoothing out her skirt and unconsciously feeling to check her hair was still in place. Lenny stood in front of her and Midge knew him well enough to know he was hiding disappointment over the fact that she had broken something of a moment between them. Taking a deep breath and throwing caution to the wind, Midge leaned in and embraced him in a steady hug, her arms around his waist.

Relieved he didn't immediately pull away, she closed her eyes and drank the moment in: the shaky breath he exhaled, the way his arms felt holding her, how much less fragile he felt compared with the last time she had touched him, the scent of him.

Pulling back, they looked each other in the eye, their lips temptingly close. Slowly, Midge leaned in to kiss him goodbye. It was tentative at first, unsure, but as he pulled her closer, his hands tracing the lines of her back, it deepened until her fingers were in his hair. It was only an approaching staff member talking loudly with a patient that brought them back to reality.

"I really should go," Midge insisted as she took a few steps back. "Susie will kill me if I'm not with her to run through things for the meeting tomorrow." She stopped for a second before adding with a comical flourish: "Plus, a girl needs her beauty sleep."

"Right," Lenny agreed with a nod and a smile. "See you soon?" he added hopefully.

"It's a date," she beamed as she turned to leave.

He was three months post-inpatient treatment by the time Midge finally came to visit him at the house he rented in Malibu. She took a cab to the address, almost thinking she made a mistake when the taxi pulled up at the beautiful beach house.

"Hi," she said as Lenny opened the door.

"Hello," he replied as drolly as he could, even as the smile that spread across his face gave him away.

It was mere seconds after Midge entered the house that her lips found his as she pressed his more than willing body against the door.

"Wait," Lenny said, reluctantly breaking the contact and slipping out from between her and the door. Standing a few steps away from her, he took a breath before he began. "Before we…" He swallowed, thinking of the hard truth they needed to talk about. "I think there's some stuff we need to talk about."

"Yeah, you're right," Midge agreed solemnly as she composed herself. "There is."

"I'm clean," he stated, holding up his hands in an unconscious show of how powerless he knew he was over addiction. "I've been clean for almost six months now, but one thing I learned in rehab is that it doesn't go away, the wanting. You don't just magically get better. It's always gonna be a fight for me. I hope it'll get easier with time, but if we're gonna do this, you and me," he pointed his index finger quickly back and forth between Midge and himself, "then I need you to know that."

"I understand," she said with a sincere nod of her head.

"But I really want to try, to give it a go." He stepped forward and took her hands in his. "To give us a go."

"Me too," Midge agreed with a smile, one that was soon clouded by a frown when she thought about what she needed to say next. It was something that had been gnawing at her for a while. "I uh…" She paused and dropped one of his hands to push her hair nervously behind her ear. "I-I've heard some things…and I know with your wife, the two of you weren't…"

Glancing at Lenny, she saw him nod and her shoulders untensed a little knowing she need not further explain. It was funny, she could make jokes about fucking on stage in front of strangers, but talking about it now seemed impossible. But then this wasn't a part of her act, instead it was intimate and real - and scary too with the fear of not getting the answer she wanted.

"Well, you need to know," Midge continued, "I can't do that. I can't share you, so if that's what you want-"

"It isn't," Lenny answered quickly. He'd been thinking about this too, Midge realised. "That shit seemed like a good idea when I was younger, but…" He shook his head. "Look…" he tried to continue before somehow becoming lost for words. Dropping Midge's hand, he sighed and paced for a few seconds as he rubbed at his temple, eventually stopping to stand in front of her again.

"I've done a lot of talking these past few months and it's made me realise some things. With me and Honey, I think allowing other people into things was just a desperate attempt to try and make it work." He paused. "Which it didn't," he added with a shrug and a bitter laugh, "because we still fucking cheated on each other."

Nodding, Midge swallowed. "That's the other thing… The cheating. I already went through that with Joel, I can't do that again. How do I know you won't do it again, to me this time?"

"You don't," Lenny said with a shrug before he took her hands in his again, now looking straight into her eyes. "But all I can say is, the idea of losing you, of hurting you, makes my chest feel heavy like I can't breathe. I want you, only you. Outside of Kitty, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

It took no more than that for her to kiss him with a completely unreserved passion that he more than matched as they fell into bed.

But now it was the morning after and Lenny had reluctantly slipped from her arms earlier, leaving her sleeping and pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder as a way of apology. As much as he wanted to stay wrapped up in her all day, every day, he also knew how important routine was to his continuing sobriety. When he was in rehab, he had got into the habit of waking early (well, before eight which was practically the middle of the fucking night as far as he was concerned) and spending some time with a cup of coffee, a cigarette and a blank page before he would finally get ready for the day. At first, all he wrote was little more than rambling thoughts, but as time went on, he found himself with different notebooks, one looking like the beginnings of a screenplay, and another maybe even a book.

"Mm-hmm," Midge hummed, pulling him down by his hand and kissing him. "Come back to bed," she murmured, her lips pressed against his freshly shaved jaw. As much as he tried to put up some resistance, ultimately Midge's lips and wandering hands were too much.

"Ugh," he groaned, pulling back for a second to look her in the eye. "Do you realise the power you have over me?"

"Well," Midge said with a grin of her own, "I am more important than God."

"That you are," he agreed, smiling broadly as he leaned down to kiss her again, carefully lowering his body on top of hers. It was Midge who groaned next, feeling his arousal press at the apex between her legs. His towel was swiftly discarded to the floor before he got under the sheet she eagerly held back for him.

She liked him most like this: fresh out of the shower, no scent of cologne or cigarettes, just clean lemony soap. No stuff in his hair either. His hair; she loved his hair. It was thick and wavy and the perfect length to thread through her fingers. As his lips moved to her collarbone, her nails lightly scratched at his scalp, and the moan he hummed against her skin told her he appreciated what she was doing.

His mouth wandered lower still until he was between her legs and Midge took sharp intakes of breath as she used her fingers in his hair to guide his mouth.

"Oh fuck," her voice came out as almost whisper, tone trembling with the intensity of the pleasure. "Lenny," she protested weakly. "Lenny," she said again, stronger this time, causing him to stop and look up. "I just want…you. Please."

"OK," he agreed, moving until he was above her again, kissing her long and hard before breaking off to grab a condom from the nightstand.

Midge had a fleeting flash of a thought about a time in the future when they might not have to use condoms, struck with the sudden realisation that she would like more children one day, and more specifically, children with Lenny. But she was getting ahead of herself, so she locked the idea safely away for the future she hoped to share with him. Besides, then he was entering her and it was all consuming and glorious.

She found her release intensely but quickly, Lenny already seeming to know just how she needed to be touched, something Joel never quite mastered despite their years together. Lenny came seconds later, shuddering and gasping, removing the condom before lying next to her, both of them spent as he gathered her in his arms.

This was the first time Midge had truly had the chance to see his body up close in daylight. She noticed earlier the white scars of operations that dotted his torso, but now she saw the old track marks on his arms too. Reaching out, her fingers ran over what were now fading reminders of where needles had once entered his veins.

"When did you get it?" she asked, her head resting in the crook of his shoulder as she lay against his chest, her fingers tracing the edges of the slightly faded anchor tattoo on his left forearm.

"When I was in the Navy in Malta, in…" Lenny told her, stopping to think for a second. "Must have been '42. My aunt was pretty pissed when she saw it. There is a bit I was gonna do when I was on the Steve Allen Show, but of course the censors didn't like it," he said with a roll of his eyes. "Anyway, she told me I couldn't be buried in a Jewish cemetery, but I told her I could still be buried there, just meant they'd have to cut off this arm," he lifted his left arm slightly to illustrate his point, "and bury it in the gentile cemetery."

"I bet she loved that idea," Midge said with a rye smile.

"She…was not amused," he said dryly as he reached for a cigarette. "But then," he raised his eyebrow in contemplation, lighting the cigarette and exhaling the smoke before he continued, "she was even less amused when I married Honey. I guess maybe she was right about that one."

Midge bit her lip for a second, considering her next words. "When we first met - when you were married - did you ever…think about me?"

"Yes," he answered with complete honesty, dragging on his cigarette once more before he placed it into the ashtray. "You were sharp and funny and…fuck, you're so beautiful. My marriage was shitty even before I met you," he shrugged, "so sure, I fantasised about you."

"Really?"

"Not just sex stuff," he was quick to add, electing a giggle from Midge. "I mean, I did think about the sex stuff, but more than that. Just…you. Being with you."

Midge's whole face softened as she smiled, turning and reaching up to gently cradle his jaw before softly kissing him.

"How about you?" Lenny asked after the kiss was broken. "Did you think about me?"

"Well, it's a little different, I was technically married when we met but Joel and I weren't really together…"

Lenny looked at her, waiting patiently, his left eyebrow cocked in curiosity.

Midge bit her lip, debating for a second if she should confess the next part. "You remember Benjamin?"

"The fiancé," Lenny confirmed dryly, biting back jealousy.

Midge smirked and rolled her eyes a little. "The fiancé," she repeated. "Well, he was attractive and tall and a doctor-"

"You're not helping my ego here, Midge," Lenny interrupted.

"Just…wait," Midge assured him. "Well, he was good in bed, technically at least. But there were a couple of times that I uh," She thought for a second for the best way to phrase it. "I couldn't quite…get there."

"Right," Lenny nodded, understanding what she meant, although his brow furrowed in confusion in regards to where she was going with it.

"Well…" Silly as it was, she felt herself blushing. "I kind of…maybe…"

A realisation of what she was trying to say came over Lenny. "You…" He was smiling now, his eyes crinkling as he gave Midge what were her favourite of lopsided grins. "You thought about me?"

Midge nodded, pursing her lips. "I did. That's awful to admit, isn't it?"

"Fuck no, I think that's amazing. I mean, Benjamin might not be so happy about it, but who the fuck care about him?"

Midge laughed fully now and Lenny spontaneously leaned down to kiss her soundly.

"I…" he began with hesitation. Turning his body slightly, he bent his head to bury his face in her neck, inhaling the scent of her shampoo with what he had mysteriously come to know was Chanel No. 5. "I love you," he finally whispered to Midge for the first time, the warmth of his breath tickling her ear.

Guiding him gently with her fingers twisted in the hair at the nape of his neck, Midge moved his head back until he was looking her in the eye. "I love you, too," she confessed with a smile that he reflected back before they kissed again.

She was starting to see that maybe California wasn't so bad after all.