1

"This is the last time I help you be in two places at once, Dubois," said the younger woman pulling off a dark wig.

"I owe you one, Conner," said Janet.

"You owe me a hundred as of today."

"Why, what happened?" Janet looked up in alarm. "Did you run into any problems?"

Conner carefully removed dark contact lenses from her eyes and placed them in the cleansing solution. "Not with the op per se. That went without a glitch. Babysitting a foreign VIP and his brood on a visit to Disney World isn't anywhere near as exciting as some of the stuff you've pulled off."

"Do you think I would've sent you in otherwise?" said Janet hotly. "The only reason I could do it with a clear conscience was that it was just covert security, not facing off against a terrorist group or taking down a mass shooter."

"Meaning, I couldn't yet be trusted with anything like that."

"Where is this coming from, Conner? I would trust you with my own life, and you know it! But I would never deliberately put your life at risk when it should've been mine."

"I see. Sorry."

"Conner, you are younger than me and don't have as much experience, but mark my words, in a few years you will be better than me. I wouldn't be mentoring you otherwise."

"Seriously, Mentor? You are grooming me to surpass you?"

"Don't look so surprised. This is not about my ego. I wouldn't be wasting my time with a new recruit if I couldn't see a great potential in them."

"I am not that much younger than you," said Conner gruffly.

"Maybe not. You certainly don't treat me with the deference due a mentor."

"That's because I know you won't have it any other way, Dubois. You are not one to stand on ceremony, right?"

"Right. But I never told you that, and yet you got it just by observing me. That's part of the potential I was talking about."

"Well, thank you. Big deal." Conner seemed deeply touched and tried to cover it up. "Anyway, back to the Disney World op. They did get a few life threats, so things could've gone pear-shaped. Fortunately, it turned out to be nothing."

"I'll say. There are always a few screwballs handing out bomb threats and the like just because they don't have anything better to do with their time."

"Speaking of screwballs – Hang on a minute, Dubois. You never told me what that was all about. Why did you have to send me in when they had asked specifically for you? What have you been up to?"

"What do you mean, I never told you? Didn't I?"

"No, you didn't. It was kind of a last-minute thing, so you said it was on a need-to-know basis and you would explain later. So, give."

"I don't know why they asked for me. They only know me by reputation and have a general idea of what I look like but have never even met me in person. Why would they – "

"That wasn't my question. I know why they asked for you. You are Agency elite. With your reputation and standing, I am surprised you are not running the Agency yet. But on the other hand, why would they have wanted you in on an op as lame as that?"

"Perhaps there was nothing more challenging going down at the same time. Or they wanted to impress the visiting bigwig by trotting out somebody of my rank and – " Janet blushed and dropped her eyes, "as you put it, standing. How should I know? They must've had their reasons."

"As I am sure you had yours for this whole charade. Why couldn't you just get out of the assignment and take the day off?"

"You know very well why not. With my rep and standing and all that, I didn't want to draw attention to my private business."

"Okay, I get it. Sneaking off to shack up with some hot stud, weren't you? We are all human, after all. Even the great and formidable Dubois. Who could've thunk?"

"Busted. I am human. Satisfied now?"

"No. But I know I won't get another word out of you."

"Look, Conner, I am no end grateful to you. Thank God it all went smoothly and your life was not in danger."

"I second that."

"Okay then – Wait a minute! Didn't you say something did go wrong?"

"Keep your shirt on, Dubois. Nothing went wrong. Unless you count some weirdo chasing me all over the place."

"So what else is new?"

"To look at this idiot, you'd think his life depended on it. Messed up the whole parade and wouldn't give up until Disney World security tossed his ass in the clinker to cool off."

"Doesn't sound like too much of a threat to me."

"His timing couldn't have been worse. Mr. Bigwig and family were on the move, and we had to stay close. All we needed was some bumbling oaf getting underfoot and blowing the whole op."

"But he was handled, wasn't he? Big deal, Conner. Guys are always chasing you wherever you go."

"So they are. But this one – It was actually pretty weird. When he finally caught up with me and took a gander at my face, he looked – I dunno, disappointed. Deflated."

"Then he must've taken you for someone else."

"He sure did. You. I was disguised as you, remember? We do have the same height and built, so I must've looked just like you from behind. Anyway, that's when they grabbed him and hauled him away."

"Not a minute too soon, I'm sure." Janet chuckled, then frowned slightly. "Did you happen to notice what he looked like?"

"Hey, I don't have eyes in the back of my head! I was too busy getting away from him."

Janet snickered skeptically. "Really? With your eagle eye, I'm sure you just needed one glance to know it all – from the color of his eyes to that of his underpants."

"Yuck!" Conner shuddered in mock revulsion. "Okay, if you really wanna know. Just a regular guy, early forties, not bad-looking, medium height, medium built with the start of middle-age spread, reddish blonde hair. Sound like anyone you know?"

"Not really. Sounds like half the guys in the US."

"No kidding. Men! The moron took off after me like he had forgotten he had his wife and kids with him."

"Oh boy. Wife and kids? Did you happen to take a look at them while you were at it?"

Conner shrugged. "Cute blondie, same age, a pair of cute kiddies and a little one in a stroller. Why all the interest all of a sudden? Do you know these people?"

"Wouldn't know them from Adam. As you say, there's at least one screwball in every crowd."

2

Twenty-four hours earlier, in a quiet Pittsburgh suburb

"Auntie!" Two adorable little girls burst out of the house and ran to Janet the moment she opened the front gate.

"My babies!" She squatted and opened her arms, burying her face in their rich dark hair and kissing their plump cheeks and mischievous dark eyes.

"Hey, you two bandits, let your aunt catch her breath," said an authoritative voice. A handsome, statuesque woman with salt-and-pepper hair done up in a bun stepped out onto the porch.

Janet rose and waded through the children's embraces towards the woman. They fell into each other's arms.

"Jannie..."

"Jenny..."

"How long has it been?"

"A year... Who cares? I am here now."

"For how long?"

"I have to be back by tomorrow night for the debrief. Let's not think about it just yet, okay?"

"Let's not," sighed Jenny. She slipped her arms around the little girls' shoulders. "Okay, you two. Your aunt and I are going to have a chat. Then we'll all have supper, and after that she's all yours until bedtime. Off you go now!" She gave each a kiss on the forehead and a slight shove on the backside.

The girls sulked for a few seconds. Then, holding hands, they ran into the garden and started chasing each other under the apple trees swathed in clouds of white and pink blossoms.

...

"Look at the pair of them. They are just like you and me when we were their age."

"Yep. They could be tiny copies of us. Or of each other." Jenny brought two cups of coffee out onto the porch and settled down next to her sister. "But I don't have a problem telling them apart."

"Me neither," echoed Janet.

"Thick as thieves, these two, just like we used to be. Always whispering and giggling together like a pair of conspirators."

"That's us all right. The United Front, remember?"

"Do I ever! That's what Dad used to call us," chuckled Jenny, then grew sober. "Later I came to wish we hadn't been quite as united as all that."

"You mean – Oh, you mean after I moved away."

"Right. And I found out the hard way that having my sister for my one and only friend hadn't been too wise."

"You also learned the hard way how to make other friends when you had to."

"So I did. But I never got as good at it as you."

"A lot of good that did me later in life," murmured Janet. "Would you believe that I've lived for years without a single friend?"

"You?! No way."

"Way. This job isn't exactly conducive to cultivating intimate friendships."

"Outside the Agency, I should think not. But you must've grown close to the people you work with."

"It's not the same. We are all brothers- and sisters-in-arms. People I trust with my life without a second thought, and the other way around. As a matter of fact, there's somebody masquerading as me on an operation right now. It's fairly low-risk, otherwise I never would've sent her in in my place. But low-risk doesn't mean no risk. She might still be putting her life on the line just so that I could be here now."

"Well, if that isn't the measure of a true friend, I don't know what is."

"Jenny, we have no choice. We all have to be able to trust one another more than we trust ourselves. Without that, we wouldn't survive one day out there, let alone do what we are tasked with. But friendship – that's a different matter." Janet fell silent staring into space. "You know something? In all these years, I haven't made one friend like Chrissy. You remember Chrissy, don't you?"

"Oh, I remember Chrissy. The dumb blonde that wasn't."

"I couldn't have put it better myself." Janet smiled affectionately. "She's never had to risk her life for me, so we don't know how that would've gone. But I know I'll never find a better friend in the whole universe. In any of the universes."

"What was that? Any of the universes?"

"Never mind. And I've never met a man I loved as much as I loved Jack."

"Jack? The Jack you ditched to marry what's-his-face? The Jack who is now happily married to your best friend Chrissy?"

"The one and only."

"Now, that's a shocker. You never told me this back then."

"That's because I was trying to hide it even from myself."

"Smart. If you loved him all that much – "

"Then why did I ditch him? Jenny, I knew he would never commit to me."

"He seems to have committed to Chrissy just fine."

"Yes, when he was older. But back then, he was nowhere near ready. Oh, he thought he was. He promised me the world, and I knew he was sincere. But I knew him better than he knew himself. I knew it would never last. That younger Jack Tripper was incapable of making a commitment, and I would've accepted nothing less." She smiled bitterly. "Oh, who am I kidding? I was crazy about the guy. I would've taken him any way I could get him. But it would've crushed me later on."

"So, you decided to be pro-active and crush both of you sooner rather than later? Didn't he pull something crazy at your wedding?"

"Right after the ceremony. Man, it was hard on him. He just couldn't accept I wasn't his anymore and never would be."

"You actually made him give you away. Jannie, I've never known you to be cruel but that was just – "

"I wasn't being cruel! It was for his own good! I believed it would give him closure!"

"Closure, shmosure. I remember wondering whether you were ruining three lives in one fell swoop. But when did you ever listen to me?"

"Jenny, I swear, I was also sincere about that. And I did believe Philip and I had a chance. I believed I would come to return his love with time. Shows how much I knew."

"Shows you knew yourself even worse than you knew Jack. He might've surprised you if you had given him a chance."

"What's the point of talking about that now, Jenny? And anyway, look how well it has all worked out for everyone. Jack and I might've been crazy about each other but we were barely more than kids. We wouldn't have made it long-term. But Jack and Chrissy are a totally different story. They are a happy family raising three great kids. My marriage to Philip failed, but if I had stayed with Jack or even married him, odds are it would have ended the same way. And speaking of Philip, he's happily remarried to a woman who's just right for him."

"How do you know all this? Okay, dumb question. With all the resources at your fingertips – "

"Can you blame me for keeping tabs on the people I care about? I may be out of their lives. But they aren't out of my mind or heart. And will never be."

"Oh, Jannie, Jannie. I know you care about them. Even about your ex-husband, in a way. But not as much as you care about the world at large. That's why nothing else would've been good enough for you. Marriage and family, a successful career, money and power – none of that would've satisfied you. Because all you've ever wanted was to save the world."

"You are a fine one to talk, Intrepid Jenny Wood! You are no different from me. Both of us having what it takes to be rolling in it, and both having our hearts set on making this miserable world a livable place, each in her own way."

"Well, we are plenty different now. I'm surprised you still remember that younger Intrepid Jenny. There's not much left of her in this suburban single mom of two."

"You are still fighting the good fight. Just in a different way and in by different means. As for me, I am sometimes not too – "

"Not too what?"

"Nothing."

"Talk to me, sis. What are you trying to say?"

Janet shook her head. "Maybe later."

"Okay, later. Now let's get the United Front in here and have supper." Jenny got up and leaned over the porch railing. "Kate! Terri! Come wash up and help us set the table!"

...

The girls had been glued to Janet since supper. Kate lay across her lap, wiggling and laughing ecstatically as Janet tickled her, and Terri had climbed onto the back of the couch behind her and was trying to braid her short dark hair.

"No fair!" she complained. "Mommy's hair is so much easier to braid. Why don't you grow normal hair, Auntie?"

"I will someday, love, promise."

"That's enough excitement for one night. Bedtime!" announced Jenny coming out of the kitchen.

All three looked up at her imploringly.

"Oh no-o-o, Mommy-y-y! It's early!"

"Just a bit longer, Mommy, please?"

"Couldn't you make an exception for once, Jenny?"

"Outvoted," concluded Jenny grimly. "Okay, thirty minutes, and make it count."

Thirty minutes later, Janet gently extricated herself from the children's arms and rose. "Come on, sweethearts, your mom and I gonna get you guys ready for bed. We have a big day tomorrow."

...

"I wanna sleep with Auntie!"

"Me too!"

"I called dibs!"

"No fair! You always call dibs, Kate!"

"Because I am faster!"

"Are not! You are just bigger!"

"Am too! And you are slower!"

"Enough!" Jenny's voice cut into the heated argument. "What kind of nonsense is this? Nobody's sleeping with Auntie!"

Kate and Terri knew better than to protest. They abruptly shut up and stood there looking dejected.

"Oh come on, you guys! What's with the end of the world? We have enough beds in this house to go around. Everybody gets their own."

This announcement didn't make the girls any happier. Both made irresistible puppy dog faces.

Jenny shook her head in exasperation and gave her sister a see-what-I-have-to-put-up-with look. In response, Janet made an even sadder puppy dog face.

Jenny threw her arms up in despair. "You can't be trusted around the kids, Jannie," she complained over the girls' heads. "They need firm boundaries and discipline, and you turn to mush in their hands."

"It's all very well for you to enforce your firm boundaries and discipline, Jenny. All I have is just this one night and one day. Do I really need to explain this to you?"

Jenny tried to look disapproving. Then her stern expression dissolved in a helpless smile.

"Okay, whatever," she relented. "It's our family holiday, after all." The girls opened their mouths to let out a gleeful squeal but she decisively shut it down: "Quiet! And I don't want to hear any of your "Pick me, Auntie, me-me-me!" stuff either."

When Janet walked into the guest room, Kate and Terri followed on her heels. They waited patiently for her to get into bed and stood on either side of it, eagerly awaiting her decision.

She patted the mattress next to her with both hands: "Hop in, you two, before your mom changes her mind. The more, the merrier."

...

The day filled with activity and fun went by at breakneck speed.

Next thing they all knew, it was again evening, and the exhausted and overstimulated girls went to bed without too much ado and with resigned goodnights. Nobody said it aloud but they knew their aunt wouldn't be there when they woke up in the morning.

"So, here we are, sis. Another year gone by." Janet was bravely trying not to look or sound too despondent.

"No kidding. Years go by and pile up. Come over here a sec." Jenny took her sister by the hand and drew her towards the mirror. "Take a look at the two of us. Here you are, five years older than me – "

"I know. I was already there when you first arrived, remember?"

"Ever the wiseass. As I was saying, I look ten years older than you. With all you've been through, you don't seem to have aged a day. How do you manage that?"

"It's one of the job requirements, Jenny. We are not allowed to look old, or tired, or out of sorts, or anything less than perfect. Our feminine wiles are one of the weapons in our arsenal."

"Why, have you had work done?"

"No, thank God." Janet shuddered. "That's a slippery slope. But every other means available, no expense spared. Lord, how I hate it."

"You hate what? Looking great?"

"Having to look great. And the purpose of looking great. Using seduction and sex as a weapon. For me, that's the most distasteful part."

"Even more so than killing? It took me forever to wrap my head around the idea of my sweet Jannie taking a life. Lives, plural."

"Don't think it came easy to me. But after all, that was what I had signed up for. Taking out someone in self-defense, or someone who has been proven to have blood on their hands and a real threat to more lives – Don't get me wrong, Jenny. Last thing I want is to be judge, jury and executioner. We always aim for bringing them to justice and letting them have a fair trial. But when that's not possible, when I am the only thing standing between a mass murderer and innocent civilians or my own fellow operatives – " Janet drew in a breath sharply. "It all falls under the heading of "you've got to do what you've got to do". Both the killing and the – the other thing. The – the – prostituting myself for the Job."

"That's harsh. Didn't you sign up for that as well? You just said it yourself. It's one of your weapons."

"That doesn't mean I have to like it. You know me, Jenny. I had never been promiscuous. Sex – making love – it had always meant something to me. But out there, things often go much easier if you flash a bit of leg or cleavage and make a promise with your eyes… and make good on it. But doing it – getting intimate – with someone who may be pointing a gun at me a few minutes later, or the other way around – it has never sat well with me. Not that anyone could tell. I am a quick study. I learned. Just as I learned all the other vital skills. And became oh-so-good at it." Her voice rose. "And always hated it!"

"Chill, sis. Don't get all worked up."

"Sorry." Janet clapped a hand over her mouth in embarrassment. "I didn't mean to scream. Hope I didn't wake up the girls."

"Jannie. Have you ever been able to find out who the father was?"

...

A long pause hung in the air between them.

"I am sorry," said Jenny softly. "If you'd rather not talk about it – "

Janet just shook her head vigorously.

When she finally spoke, her eyes were squeezed shut and her hands clutched together at her chest, as if holding in an excruciating pain. "That horror show of an op – everything that could go wrong did. The dissident I needed to get safely out of the country – by the time I got where he was supposed to be, he had already been placed in a psychiatric facility. If it could even be called that. More like our idea of a medieval insane asylum. I traced him there and needed to infiltrate it – and then things got messy – even messier than usual. I hadn't counted on blacking out for real. To this day, I don't know why – whether I had been drugged or injured – or had witnessed something too shocking even for me, and my mind had shut down. I've never regained any memories of what had happened before I woke up in one of the cells in that barbaric place. I was trapped in there forever, before I was able to contact the base and before rescue came – both for the dissident and for me. The things that had been done to me there – I don't want to – not ever – " She broke off.

"My goodness, Jannie." Jenny was visibly shaken. "You never told me any of that."

"I couldn't. It was easier for me to let you think – whatever you did think. Sorry. Even now, I still can't."

"You don't have to, honey. I didn't mean to get you so upset."

"No, Jenny. You have a right to know. And I needed to get it out some time, so why not now?"

"Want some water, sis? Or something stronger?"

"I am okay." Janet drew in a deep breath and continued. "When I finally made it stateside, I was all to pieces physically and mentally. So it didn't raise any eyebrows when I asked for a few months off for health reasons, to stay at a resort in Europe. And – and you know the rest. You were there." She paused, then looked her sister straight in the eyes. "As you've always been there for me, whenever and wherever I needed you. Even when I didn't realize it. I knew that was a huge ask – "

"Stop it. You know I love Terri as much as I do Kate. Huge ask or not, I, for one, am happy with the way it turned out. I mean, just this part of it," she added hastily. "But I never imagined that was how it had happened. I thought it might've been your Tom, or that at least it had been consensual, and you had an idea who – "

"Jenny, what does it matter? Whoever he might've been, she is not his. She is not even mine. You are the only parent she's ever known. And a better parent I couldn't imagine."

"So, no one but me even knows of her existence?"

"Not a soul. You know the Agency rules for such a contingency. They whisk you away and arrange for a discreet surgical procedure, and the next day you are back on active duty. I considered it – and I just couldn't go through with it."

"I still can't believe you managed to pull it off under the radar."

"That was the easiest part. But handing her over to you back in Karlsbad right after I had held her for the first time… Jenny, I took one look at her – and couldn't believe something so beautiful and innocent could have come out of all that ugliness and filth. You were the only person in the world I could safely entrust her to. I never doubted for a second you would be a great mother to her, much better than I could have ever been, and that your sweet little Kate would be the best sister in the world to her. Such as you've always been to me. And that I wasn't anywhere near ready to leave that life behind and become a – "

"What about now?"

"What about now?"

"Are you still not ready?"

"Now – why – why do you ask?"

"Because something tells me you may be readier than you think."

...

"Jenny, listen." Janet spoke in short bursts as if she had trouble breathing. "I need to tell you something. It's important. I've set up a trust fund. For you and the girls. In case something happens to me. You'll be well provided for."

"A trust fund! In addition to the generous amounts you've been sending me every month? I know you are well paid but is there anything at all left for yourself?"

"There's more than enough left. But what for? I never have a chance to spend it on myself. You and the kids need it more. I've made some solid investments – "

"Of course you have. You've always had a good head for business. You've just never been interested in making money for its own sake."

"So I can rest easy knowing that if – "

"That if I lose my sister, at least I'll have her money? And if your daughter is orphaned without ever knowing – "

"Having the money for you to live and raise the girls on is better than not having it. And Terri's not going to be orphaned as long as she has you. And we've both always known the risks."

"Right. The risks. As long as it's all worth the risk to you."

"Jenny!" Janet stared at her sister in shock. "What are you trying to say?"

"I meant no offense, sis."

"None taken. But I have a feeling you are going somewhere with it."

"And your feeling is spot-on. I am just not sure you want to hear this. Or think about it."

"Since when are you afraid to speak your mind? And to me, of all people?"

"I am not afraid. I am intrepid, remember? But this is not an easy subject."

"All I've just told you, that wasn't an easy subject either. Now your turn, sis."

"Okay. Do you still believe in what you are doing?"

Janet's eyebrows flew up. "What the hell, Jenny?"

"If I am wrong, then please forgive me and forget about it. But I know you better than anyone. And I've been getting this vibe from you. Do you want me to continue?"

Janet nodded, looking tense.

"Something has changed, hasn't it? Especially after Terri came along?"

Another silent nod.

"What is it? Burnout? Or have your priorities changed?"

"A little bit of both. And more."

"Then I am not wrong."

"Don't I wish you were."

It was Jenny's turn to keep quiet, waiting for her sister to collect herself.

"You know what keeps popping up in my mind?" began Janet finally. "This, too, shall pass." Just imagine that a hundred years have passed. Will any of this still matter? Will it mean the same it does now? Will the future generations see us as heroes? Or – " She gulped. "We think we are making history. But if history has taught us anything, it's how hard it is to be on the right side of it. No matter how certain you may be you are doing the right thing, who is to say it won't turn out seven decades or so down the road that you were on the wrong side of history? I've seen too many atrocities committed by both sides – Both! I wish there were only two. Each doing too much wrong in the name of the greater good to be entirely in the right."

She paused and looked Jenny in the eyes, almost expecting to see in them shock, disappointment, disapproval. But all she saw in her sister's face was infinitely sad understanding.

"What brought this on?"

"A lot of factors. Studying the past. Watching the events unfolding on the other continents in the present. Being concerned about our girls' future. You were right. I have felt this more acutely since I became – I don't even know if I can call myself a mother."

"You are a mother, Jannie. Whether you like it or not."

"Am I? I have sacrificed every relationship that meant anything to me. I have lost all my friends, all my family... I have damn near lost you, too. How many years did I stay away out of fear for your safety? We may never have reconnected if I hadn't made that frantic call from Karlsbad begging you to come to me – and take my little one to raise as your own. If not for Terri, I might have lost you, too. But now – now I had another precious relationship to sacrifice. Until then, I had never questioned that it was all justified – the sacrifices, the risks... All for the greater good. And then I started wondering if – " She gulped, then continued with renewed passion: "Perhaps if I am still capable of feeling shocked, it means in a way I am still the naïve, starry-eyed rookie I was fifteen years ago. Perhaps this is nothing to be shocked at because it's the only way these things can be done. You know what's always been my mantra and my guiding light to live by: Doing the right thing no matter the cost. But it's getting harder and harder to know what the right thing is. And as for the cost, I meant the cost to myself and nobody else. Yet, this is not always – " She trailed off.

"What do you want to do, Jannie?"

"If only I knew that! I do know what I don't want to do and never will. I am not a traitor. I will never sell out. Jenny, you are the only one who knows anything at all about my crisis of faith, and I'd like to keep it that way. Just as you are the only one who knows – the rest of my story."

Silence fell.

Then Janet looked up. "So, what do you say, baby sis?"

"It's hard to know what to say."

"I don't believe that for a minute. I bet right now there are all kinds of sage advice crowding each other in your head."

"Despite what I may have led you to believe, I don't have all the answers. How can I tell you what to do about something this momentous? And this personal?"

"Jenny, come on. Coy is not a good color on you. Just say it."

"Funny thing, you bringing up that old nickname of mine." Jenny heaved a sigh. "It was all very well to be intrepid when I was young and idealistic and believed there was nothing I couldn't do. And that I knew exactly what to do and how to do it. But I no longer have that luxury. So, you want me to say it? Okay, I'll say it. I know you are thinking the same thing. Get out of the game now before it's too late."

...

Janet's eyelids dropped over her haunted eyes.

Jenny paused to let her words sink, then went on. "I know you don't need me to explain to you the dangers of this mindset. As you told me yourself, sometimes a split second can make all the difference. You have to act instantaneously. If at that moment you hesitate because you are trying to solve moral dilemmas, you are a liability both to others and to yourself."

Her sister was silent, biting her lips.

"Okay, Jannie, now you say something. Don't just sit there looking crestfallen. This can hardly be news to you."

"But – but – how? How, Jenny? I've forgotten how to do anything else! How to be anything else!"

"In your line of work, you are already a veteran, aren't you?"

"Almost. So what? Veteran operatives switch to recruitment and training. The way Tom did. But I am still too young for that! I can still do some good – " Janet stopped talking abruptly and buried her face in her hands.

Jenny pulled her close. "Listen to me, sis. You've done more than your fair share. You've given up your whole life, everyone you've ever loved. Besides, knowing you, I don't doubt for a second you have already been training and mentoring new recruits, haven't you?"

Janet nodded. "Only the most promising ones. The gifted. Cream of the crop."

"Just as I thought. So, you would be leaving in your place a cohort of brilliant new operatives."

"How does this solve my moral dilemma? If I am not certain whether – how is it better if I have taught others to do what I am not – "

"Somebody still has to do it, Jannie. And in most cases, there really is no other way. Agree?"

"I guess so," breathed out Janet.

"Just think of all the lives you have saved. Are you going to belittle that now? Just imagine that instead of you taking out a monster before he had a chance to annihilate dozens or hundreds of people, it had been me out there in your place – doing what, lecturing him to death? Trying to make him see the error of his ways?"

Janet couldn't help giggling despite her distress. "You know something, Jenny? I've often thought you would've made a great operative. You have what it takes in spades – perhaps even more than me."

Jenny nodded thoughtfully. "You may well be right. I absolutely could have. But that wasn't my path. My path was working within the legal system, trying to change the legislation, raising awareness, lobbying, a lot of public speaking... I still hope to get back to all that at some point. But we are talking about you now."

"And I seem to have lost my way. My path."

"No, you haven't. But you are burned out. Why not let those bright-eyed and bushy-tailed young people you've trained take over?"

"And do what?"

"What do you mean, do what? Come live with us. We could go away. We could move to South America, to Europe – anywhere you'll feel safe."

"If such a place exists."

"It does, and we'll find it. Once we are in that new place, we could both go to work. And I don't mean just any kind of work. There are other ways to make the world a better place, Jannie. Ones that don't involve violence. But they are nowhere near as spectacular or exciting."

"I think I've had my fill of spectacular or exciting for now," whispered Janet.

"And we'll be raising our girls together."

"Didn't you say last night I couldn't be trusted around the kids?"

"Don't forget I am going to be there, too, to keep an eye on you. Bad cop to your good cop."

"Sounds fun."

"Even if you never reveal to her who you are – even if she keeps calling you Auntie – you will still be with her. You won't miss out on her childhood. Or on her whole life. Can you put a price on that? There had to be a reason why you started feeling this way after she was born. Now, what do you say?"

"I say you are right. As always. No surprise there."

"And?"

"And it's one hell of a decision to make, Jenny."

"I get it. Still, don't take too long. In there – " Jenny gestured at the door to the girls' room, "are two worlds which need taking care of."

"If they are anything like their mothers, then there's the next generation of women who care about the world at large."

"Br-r-r, what a scary thought." Jenny shuddered in mock fright and smiled. "Then they are in for a whole lot of trouble. But I do kind of hope they turn out to be this way."

"Me, too. Trouble seems to be par for the course for all of us," said Janet quietly.

"By the way, Jannie... How did it end with Tom?"

"Not well," said Janet with an air of finality.

Another silence hung in the air.

After it became clear no further information was forthcoming, Jenny spoke up: "Of course, brevity is the soul of wit but you picked an inopportune moment to be witty. Would you care to elaborate?"

"Just give me a moment, okay?"

"Look, sis, you don't have to talk about it if it's too much for you."

"That ship sailed a long time ago. I don't see why not if you want to know. To begin with, do you know how it started?"

"Not really. Bits and pieces. I knew you got involved with him soon after joining the Agency but that's about it. We didn't exactly have a chance to chat in years."

"Right. I knew he had quite a reputation for sleeping with much younger women. Mostly new recruits under his tutelage. Okay, Jenny, before you say anything, please consider – "

"I wasn't gonna say a word."

"You didn't have to. Yes, it was wrong on many levels. You wanna know something? I didn't care."

"Now I have to say something. You, with your strong moral compass – "

"As I was saying, please consider the circumstances. Dating outside the Agency, even meeting anyone new is, let's say, highly unlikely for all of us for many reasons. But we are still human."

"But older man and younger woman, mentor and trainee – that's a huge imbalance of power."

"Jenny, do you wanna judge, or do you wanna listen?"

Jenny mimed zipping her mouth shut.

"Take it from me, he didn't exactly prey on innocent ingénues. He couldn't beat girls off with a stick. He had about him this romantic aura of a hero, a valiant warrior… And he reeked of masculinity. I was infatuated. Hero worship was only a part of it. He put me very unceremoniously in my place and told me in no uncertain terms it was nothing but an arrangement, and if I had other ideas I better put them out of my head. He never bothered to hide the fact that I was just one in a long succession of starry-eyed rookies. I was hurt, of course, but there was nothing I could do about it. You were right about the imbalance of power. And then, eventually, I no longer cared. It became exactly what he had said it was – an arrangement."

"I bet the balance of power shifted over time."

"Probably. He told me later he hadn't been with anyone else in all the time he had been with me."

"Did you believe him?"

"Just as I said, by that time I didn't care one way or another. Right before I left on that accursed mission, he cornered me and started talking – my goodness, I had never expected to hear anything like that out of him – not in so many words but he was definitely hinting at marriage or at least a real relationship. And, even worse, love."

"Did he now?"

"Don't sound so skeptical. Yes, he did. The once mighty lion was getting old and thinking about quitting the game. And he got it into his head that I would be willing to do the same for his sake. The old fool."

"I can just imagine your answer."

"I don't know what I would've answered if he had had better timing. Probably let him down easy. I did care about him, after all. Just not enough to give up everything and be his little woman. But all I felt at the time was annoyed by the distraction just as I was trying to focus. I knew it was going to be a real bitch of a mission, and I needed all my wits about me. I promised we would talk about it after – after I got back. Which was supposed to be just a few days later."

Janet paused again. Jenny knew to give her all the time she needed.

"By the time I did get back, he was no longer there. He had suffered a massive heart attack."

"Oh no, Jannie."

"He survived. He was a hardy old codger. But he was all washed up at the Agency. I don't know if they put him out to pasture or if he knew it was time to call it. In fact, when I came back to the base after that long absence, they were having a farewell party for him. The resignation of Colonel Thomas Langdon was a big deal for everyone." To Jenny's surprise, her sister's eyes glistened with tears for the first time that night.

"Did you see him after that?" asked Jenny after Janet had composed herself.

"A couple of times. It was just too sad. He was a shadow – hey, a shadow of a shadow of his former self."

"Well, what could you expect? He was no spring chicken, and with everything he had been through – "

"I know." Janet again seemed to be on the verge of tears. "But there's always something which is the last straw. I think what had pushed him over the edge was when I – I had gone missing. I know there were all kinds of wild speculations going around. They told me later he had taken it very hard."

"You have no way of knowing that, Jannie."

"Doesn't really matter, does it?"

"I guess not. And you are absolutely sure he is not Terri's father?"

"Absolutely. I almost wish I weren't. I wish there were just a shadow of a doubt – a slight chance he might be. At least, he was someone I cared about. Someone who – who might've even loved me."

"Things seem to have come full circle," sighed Jenny. "I'm just wondering. Have they?"

"Have they what? What do you mean?"

"You started out as a young rookie, with him an older man and an authority figure. Now that you are cast in the same role, do you do what he used to do?"

"Which is what, sleeping with younger men who are my trainees?" Janet flashed her mischievous smile. "Maybe. Depends on the trainee. Speaking of which," she looked around her, "Jenny, sweetheart, I better get going if I am to make my flight. Where's my bag?"

...

"You make a gorgeous blonde, Jannie," remarked Jenny a few minutes later when her sister emerged from the bathroom in a long platinum blond wig.

Janet looked about to crack a joke but didn't say anything.

"So what, sis, see you next year?"

"I hope so. If I am still – "

"Shut up. I don't want to hear any ifs."

"Sorry, Jenny. Making plans a whole year ahead feels too much like tempting fate."

"No plans then. Just come."

"Yes. Bye now, sweetheart." Janet hugged her sister with all her might, then let go of her and turned to the door.

"Jannie. Do you still love Jack?"

Janet's eyelids fluttered like frightened birds, then settled down.

"Bye, honey. Tell the girls I love them. And you."

3

Two hours later, back at the base

"Okay, Dubois. If you are done grossly misusing my eidetic memory, I'll go have some rest, with your permission. It's been a long day, what with shaking off your ardent admirers and such."

"Of course. Once again, Conner, I can't tell you how grateful I am. If there's ever anything I can do for you – "

"Don't worry, I'll collect on this debt when I need to."

"I would expect no less of you."

Conner started towards the exit, then turned around and gave Janet a shrewd look. "He must be really something if you've gone to all this trouble just to get together with him. How did you even meet him? We are not supposed to socialize outside the Agency, we have no private lives, we can't take time off whenever we want to... This day must've meant a great deal to you."

"You have no idea," said Janet.

June 12, 2022

16