A/N: That beach won't let go of me. Here's another visit. A one-shot and totally Charah.
No betas harmed in the production of this.
On the Beach
Sarah had no idea what had brought her here. The beach had called to her and drew here, to this point.
She had to admit that sitting facing the ocean, listening to and watching the waves wash up on the shore was relaxing. She felt at peace with herself for the first time since she awoke in that hotel room and Quinn had walked in.
No. That wasn't exactly right. In spite of what Quinn had made her believe, she had felt at peace when looking at the pictures of her with Chuck, that she examined as she walked around their apartment.
After watching that other version of herself on the video log, what she now thought of as 'her,' Sarah knew a bit of their story. The initial recording would have been after she had only been here a short time. Far less than she, herself, this time around. The SIA, and therefore her by extension, had thought Chuck Bartowski to be a traitor, but by the time she made the recording, he had already convinced her otherwise and. More significantly, started to break down her barriers.
She had felt that too.
When she had watched all the recordings, she had gone to the apartment block. She had told him that she felt nothing, but that was a lie. She did feel drawn to him, which scared the hell out of her. Her normal reaction was to get away, which is exactly what she had planned to do. Instead, she was sitting on this beach, contemplating what had happened to 'her' and what she herself should do.
Sarah had, for some reason, chosen to use the name she was officially known by, the one on her CIA records, rather than a false name. That was a bit surprising in itself. Maybe Graham had ordered her to use it.
She had met and decided Chuck Bartowski was innocent. Somehow, he had gotten under her skin and she fell for him. She had stayed and had married him. Just the thought of doing what 'she' had done sent shivers up and down Sarah's spine.
At that beginning, 'she' would have been just like Sarah was now. Her thought patterns the same. She must have been just as frightened by what Chuck was doing to her, yet she not only stayed, but changed. Would that happen to her now, if she had stayed?
Of course, the circumstances were different. That Sarah had been ordered to stay and protect "the Intersect." So, 'she' couldn't run and even had to be in a cover relationship with Chuck. That must have been really hard. Having to spend every day with the person who scared you so.
However, their relationship developed, grew stronger and stronger. That last recording had 'her' admitting 'she' loved Chuck Bartowski, and that didn't know what to do about it. Well, 'she' obviously worked it out. 'She' married him and they must have been happy together, before Quinn ruined it for them.
Sarah, now, didn't have all that developing relationship behind her. Well, she did, but had no recollection of it. If she stayed, would their relationship develop in the same way? Probably not. Chuck was at a much different point in the relationship to her. He had nearly five years of memories of that relationship growing, whereas she had none.
He was quite clearly infatuated with 'her' and saw Sarah in the same way. Chronologically, that made sense. Physically, she was the woman he knew from a few weeks ago. She just wasn't mentally.
Other things were different too. The love he now clearly had for her was not what 'she' had faced when first meeting him. It was definitely much stronger now and therefore her own challenge much greater.
Even if she pushed all that aside, and tried to be his wife, how could she compete with the version of herself who had known him all that time.
God, even with sex! if they did that, 'she' would have known what he liked, whereas Sarah had no idea. Even with that, she was a poor substitute for 'her.' That was certainly not something to dwell on!
She probably should run. Get as far away from him as she could.
She had doubts over whether the CIA would take her back. She had obviously left some time ago, but that was less of a problem than her memory, or, more to the point, lack of memory of the last five or so years. But what else could she do? All her working life had been as a CIA operative. She knew no other job other than the things she had briefly done as part of a cover on missions. She laughed at what 'she' had done for that here. Sausage maker and yogurt dispenser!
But, seriously, what career choice did she have other than attempting to return to the CIA.
She sat looking at the waves, hoping for inspiration or, at least, the calm that had purveyed her when she first sat down.
She felt his presence before she even saw him. Was that something a married couple developed and she still retained that ability? She had always had great senses and no one could surprise her, but this was different. She knew it was Chuck Bartowski. Her husband.
"I was hoping you'd be here," he said as he sat beside her.
She looked over at him. He looked good, but there were rings under his eyes. She wondered, 'Has he been crying?' She tried to ignore that.
The fact that he'd found her here was significant. They must have come here together. Maybe that was what drew her here. "This place is important, isn't it?"
"Yeah, yeah, very much. This is actually where you told me I was going to be okay. That I could trust you."
She didn't remember this. Just another memory lost.
He continued, "And that's exactly what I'm doing now. I'm asking you to trust me. Sarah, I don't... I don't want anything from you. I-I just need you to know that wherever you go, I'll always be there to help you. Someone you can call. Whenever. Trust me, Sarah. I'm here for you always."
It was just another of his monologues, but it got to her. He wasn't going to ask her to stay, even though she could see he wanted to. He just wanted her to be safe. He cared for her more than he cared for himself. He really was special.
She again felt the need to fill some of that memory gap. To learn more about this man and their lives together. Only he could do that, so she asked him, "Chuck? Tell me our story."
She was surprised at how much she enjoyed listening to him.
Their story was not the easiest, for either of them. He had obviously fallen for her as quickly as she had fallen for him, but fear of the life he had been thrust into held it at bay for a while. However, the cover relationship was also hard for him, in more ways than for her. Unlike her, he wasn't used to lying, so pretending to be her boyfriend and trying to fool family and friends was not something he enjoyed. It did, however, constantly play on his mind, as he realized his feelings for her.
So, there they were. Both with feelings for the other. They couldn't act on them or she would be sent away, but she was also frightened of those feelings. He, on the other hand, wanted the relationship to be real. Her constant refusal, got to him. What a mess!
He skimmed over other relationships they both had during that time. She didn't want to dwell on those either, but was interested in the fact that they occurred before the two of them got together. They obviously tried to get over each other, but failed.
It was a tale of craziness, laughter, sadness, heartbreak and a fair amount of upset, but they got through it and became lovers and, eventually a married couple. The stories about how each of them went to crazy lengths to save the other just reinforced the fact that they would do anything for each other, for their love.
It was awe inspiring.
She looked at this man in a new light. He would do anything for her. He would even let her leave, knowing how much it was going to hurt him when she did.
Could she really do that to him? The man that had done so much for 'her' and had done the same for herself. She couldn't forget that Chuck had readily dived in front of her when Quinn had attempted to kill her. He had taken the bullet and would have given his life to save her. How could she walk out on him and destroy his life?
But how could she fill the gap that 'she' left? The woman Sarah wasn't. The woman who fully gave herself and her love to him in a way that Sarah couldn't.
Sarah desperately needed those memories back to become that woman again. To really be his wife. Something she realized wanted more than anything.
Chuck was looking away from her, at the ocean. As she looked at him, she wondered if he also found it soothing.
"You know, Morgan has this crazy idea," he started, but then stopped.
She had to know now. "What is it?"
"He thinks that, with one kiss, you'll remember everything."
She laughed at that. "One magical kiss?" She very much doubted this would work, but she was desperate for those memories.
He replied, "Yeah. I know it's-"
She cut him off. "Chuck?"
He looked at her. "Yeah?"
"Kiss me," she requested.
Almost as soon as their lips touched, she could feel something. His sensual lips caressed hers in a way that brought her senses to life. She was surprised and upset when he pulled away. Was that it? Was that all he would kiss her?
The answer was no. He was adjusting his position. He started a new kiss, but this time opened his mouth. She did the same and the kiss deepened.
Whether it was because he really knew how to kiss her or just his natural ability, but this was a fantastic kiss. One that she never wanted to end. Their tongues explored each other's mouths and those caresses were wonderful.
Eventually, they had to part to breathe, both struggling to get air.
Chuck looked at her expectantly. He was hoping for magic in the form of her memories flooding back, as in Morgan's crazy idea.
Unfortunately, they hadn't. She couldn't lie to him. She still couldn't talk after that amazing kiss, so she just gave a slight shake to her head to convey to him that it hadn't gotten her memories back.
She hadn't thought about how he would react to this. He pulled back, sadness and despair washing over his features. That despair came out in his tone, "Please keep in touch, Sarah, so I know you are alright out there."
He was turning away so that he wouldn't have to watch her leave. She had to stop this, to correct his misunderstanding.
"Chuck, please don't turn away."
She could see his body shaking. He was obviously sobbing quietly. "I- I can't watch you l-leave, Sarah."
She got up and move around to face him, grabbed his shoulders and gently shook him. "I'm not leaving, Chuck."
He looked up at her, tears still rolling down his cheeks. They started her tears.
"You- you're not?" he asked incredulously.
She shook her head. "My memories didn't return, but my feelings strengthened." She paused. No more lies, she told herself. "I lied when I said before that I didn't feel anything. I did, but those feelings terrified me, Chuck." She took a breath. "The story and the kiss made me realize the feelings were very real and so important to me. I can't say I love you, Chuck. I don't really know what it feels like to be in love, but how if feel about you is so strong… Maybe it is love."
His smile was growing. She really liked that smile.
She continued, as she already knew he was a man who needed words. "If you'll have me, I'd like to stay."
He beamed. "Of course, I'll have you. God, this is wonderful!"
Her smile grew on hearing that. "I still want those memories back, but I think you are the person to help me with that."
He nodded furiously. "I will do anything I can."
And there it was again. He would do anything for her.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into another kiss. This one was just a tender one, with no tongues, but both knew it was important. She had initiated it. It expressed her feelings for him, probably love.
She was going to stay here in Los Angeles with this wonderful, caring man who loved her. He would help her with her memories. And if they didn't return, then they would build new memories together. Suddenly, anything felt possible.
Sitting here on this beach had been the best decision she had made until this new one, to stay.
She knew her life was about to start afresh. A life of love with Chuck Bartowski. She couldn't be happier.
A/N: Just a short beach scene, but longer that what we saw in the finale. If they had finished it just with her saying she'd stay, it would have been enough, but they had to leave it open ended, didn't they!
I know what has been said by the show runners since, although I didn't know that when I watched the final episode at the beginning of 2020. I didn't know any better then, I thought they had wanted fans to clamor for another series. That didn't happen. Some thought it was the perfect ending and others felt so angry, like I was.
Anyway, I hope you liked this one-shot. Let me know.
