Late Night Discussions
John was wearing the goofy grin again. It was gooey. And disgusting. Ian just knew that he was going to start talking about Helen again. There was only one person who put that expression on John's face. It was Helen. His new fiancé. Ian had met her quite a few times. She was a lovely woman and fairly pretty.
"So, have I told you about our latest date? She planned it all and it was wonderful."
John's eyes were alight. Ian held back a sigh. This was getting annoying. "No, you haven't."
John beamed. Ian braced himself for more Helen adoration. He decided to get another double shot of scotch. "Well, it all started with an afternoon date. Helen said she was going to surprise me and it turned out to be a cute little picnic in…"
Ian decided to tune John out for a bit. It was nice that he'd found someone he loved. He drew the line at listening to what they had for lunch at the park, though.
"...and she also brought my favorite kind of lemonade."
Ian dumped more scotch into his glass. This was going to take a while and cutesy date stuff was not exciting to listen to. He did his best not to think about his brother having any kind of sexual relations.
"After the picnic, she took us to the museum and they were having arts and crafts day…"
Ian sipped his scotch. Was there a diplomatic way to tell John to tone the Helen adoration back? Probably not. Maybe it would balance out after they got married? Ian could only hope.
"...so I made this for you!"
Ian did his best not to jump as John whipped out the most hideous woodcarving that Ian had ever seen. He gingerly took the woodcarving. It looked rough enough to give him a splinter if he wasn't careful. Ian didn't care how sanded John claimed it was. "Thank you, John. It looks very unique."
John gave him an amused look. Ian could tell that his older brother wasn't fooled in the slightest. "You mean it's hideous."
Ian ran a hand through his hair. Should he let his brother down gently? "I'm afraid so, John. Don't quit your day job."
John barked out a laugh. Ian started snorting. At least his brother wasn't the type to get offended. John looked more closely at his carving. "It really is."
Ian grinned and took the carving. He glanced around the room. Now, where could he put this nice piece of blackmail material? Ian felt his grin turn particularly shit-eating and he swept towards the mantle. He placed it above the fireplace. "Don't worry, I have the perfect place for it."
John rolled his eyes. Ian walked back over to the couch and dropped back down next to his brother. He squinted at the carving. "What was it supposed to be, anyway?"
John colored slightly. He shoved at Ian. Ian expertly dodged his older brother's light shove. They had roughhoused plenty of times growing up. "An owl."
Ian cackled. John lightly swatted the back of his neck. Ian kept laughing at his brother's carving. "An aborted owl, maybe."
John shoved him with slightly more violence. Ian shoved him right back. He leaned back into the couch. "It was my first time doing wood carving, you bitch."
Ian grinned. John was still looking mildly huffy. Ian wasn't too alarmed. His brother was used to his antics by now. "Then why did you pick the hardest project?"
John rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath. Ian thought it sounded vaguely like half-hearted death threats. His brother had threatened to murder him quite a few times when they were teens. "I was hoping we could use it as a house decoration."
Ian started chuckling again. John rolled his eyes. Ian grinned at his brother. "Well, thank you, brother. I shall treasure this wonderful gift always."
John ran a hand over his face. Ian put an arm around him. John stayed next to him for a bit. "I was kind of hoping you would pitch it in the fireplace. Helen's refused to let me burn it in the backyard."
Ian looked at his brother, eyes shining with mirth. John gave him the evil eye. "Why would I get rid of such a wonderful work of art that my dearest brother-"
Ian was promptly shoved off the couch and into the armchair opposite the couch. John offered him an arm up. Ian took it. "You're the worst."
Ian pulled his brother into a mock hug. John hugged him back automatically. "Oh, but you love me anyway."
John shoved him back onto the couch. Ian was treated to his brother's scowl. "How much of that scotch did you drink?"
Ian rolled his eyes at John. He was a grown-ass man, thank you very much. "Not enough for the lecture you want to give me."
John gave him a very skeptical look. Ian felt like he was being unfairly accused. "Mhm."
John picked up the bottle and hefted it. That was just rude.
"Ian, why must you drink like a frat boy?"
Ian withheld a grin. At least he wasn't talking about Helen. And now he had John's undivided attention. "I like scotch."
John huffed. Ian was holding the pillow near him. "I guess I'm staying with you overnight after all."
Ian scowled. John picked him up off the couch. "I can walk, brother dearest."
John gave him a sarcastic look. Ian felt his stomach sink. "Oh, I'm just making sure you don't fall on the way to bed. I do need you in tip-top shape for my wedding."
Ian was all but frog-marched to the bathroom. John stood in the doorway while he brushed his teeth. "Why were you staying over originally?"
John brightened up. Ian finished brushing his teeth. "Oh, Helen thought you might be feeling neglected."
Ian glared at him. John smirked. "So, I'll put you to bed. And then I'll be joining you so you don't die if you start puking."
Ian grumbled. "I'm not that drunk."
John seemed content to pretend not to hear him. On second thought, Ian wanted the Helen rambles back. It was much better than the impending alcohol lecture of doom.
Fin
Based on a prompt by mediaboy (see story summary). This is the 243rd work in the Winds of Change 2022 Alex Rider Prompt event, where a new prompt (plus a short 1-3K work) is posted every day. For more details, see the AO3 collection. We have an index of all the prompts used in this event so far and going forwards - join the discord to get access to the online index (and to take part in our events, chat about everything and anything, and meet a load of awesome people!
