Disclaimer - I don't own Phantasy Star Online 2. This was written for the Froday amnesty for August 2022. This is written for prompt 11.24 - renewal, but dives into the fact the way Echo treats Zeno - if the roles were reversed a lot of what she says or does to him wouldn't fly.
Just Listen
"The celebration is for the renewal of our wedding vows."
"I want a divorce," Zeno said as he sat across from Echo, frowning. It wasn't how he wanted to bring it up, but-
"And it will be in front of the entirety of ARKS, as everyone will expect it, and for it to be big."
"You're not hearing what I'm saying," Zeno said, looking at the table.
Echo not hearing what he said shouldn't have come as any surprise, given she was off in her little world involving her plans regarding how to celebrate their wedding anniversary without once asking for his opinion on the matter. She sat there, chin resting in the palm of her hand as she leaned to one side, finally acknowledging that there was more than one person in their broken relationship.
And it took him goodness how long to realize just how one-sided their relationship was.
"You were saying something? About me not listening?"
There was a slight hesitation. Echo, after all, didn't see their relationship as broken—she didn't notice he wasn't happy, although what would make him happy wasn't something Zeno was sure of. And perhaps he'd been all for the two of them getting married because he'd mistakenly thought it would make him happy when in reality, getting married was entirely about Echo being happy. "I said, I want a divorce."
"You're joking, right?" Echo stared at him as if he'd lost his mind, although he felt it could be argued he'd lost his mind the moment he decided to marry Echo. It had been-
He still wasn't sure why he'd come spontaneously out of the blue to suggest they get married, particularly after hearing Echo bitch about how he didn't do his job correctly.
She complained about how he didn't take notes in meetings and had to do it, despite the fact that she wasn't even supposed to be in the meetings. And it didn't matter that he remembered most of the details of the meetings because that's the way he was, and if he didn't remember, he was smart enough to turn to Xiera's thorough notes. But Echo still felt the need to be in those meetings, taking notes for him.
And she complained about how he was a horrible instructor simply because his seniors never let him have a chance to teach. She constantly harped on him but never on Maria, who was supposed to be in the General Affairs division where she belonged rather than the Training Bureau. Zeno took a deep breath, feeling tired—being married to Echo as she controlled his life more and more was tiring. "I'm not joking, Echo."
"But—you promised me that you wouldn't easily change your mind. That you don't easily change your mind!" Echo sat up straight. "And I've already planned all of this! I've already told everyone about our plans!"
"Your plans," Zeno said.
"No, our plans," Echo siad.
"Not if we both didn't discuss them."
"So your answer to me not discussing the plans for our first anniversary with each other is to ask for a divorce? Isn't that a bit drastic?"
"Not discussing your plans for what would have been our first anniversary is only part of the problem, Echo," Zeno said. "It's for the best."
"The best for who?" Echo said, folding her arms.
"Me," Zeno said.
"Jerk."
Zeno opened his mouth to respond but then let it clamp shut. His entire body tensed as he looked away, feeling guilty simply because Echo called him a jerk rather than because he should feel guilty. And he told himself he had nothing to feel guilty about—reminding himself that he had nothing to feel guilty about.
"You're only thinking about yourself again," Echo said. "Typical."
"You mean like how I'm supposedly a jerk when it comes to working?" Zeno said.
He watched Echo open her mouth to protest. He held up his hand to stop her; only she didn't take the hint. "Supposedly? You know you're not doing your job, so I have to do it for you. You'd be lost without me, Zeno!"
"And that right there's the problem, isn't it?" Zeno said. He could hear his tone of voice darkening, him speaking in a way he didn't want to, yet—he couldn't—he couldn't take any more of it.
"You realize you're admitting you're the problem, Zeno?"
"No, Echo. You're the problem." Zeno watched her eyes widen. "You're the one who's constantly putting me down and not being supportive of me."
"You're the one who's supposed to be supportive of me but aren't!"
"Says the person who puts me down every chance she gets."
"What?" And before he could respond, "I do not!"
"So you're not constantly complaining about how I do my job?"
"I wouldn't have to if you did a better job at your job! Why is it you've got to be such a jerk when it comes to work responsibilities?"
He opened his mouth.
Echo didn't let him have a word. "And if you think this, why did you even marry me?"
"Because," Zeno took a deep breath. It had been something he'd thought over as he realized he wasn't happy in their marriage. "I thought our relationship would get better."
"Of course, the relationship will not get better if you don't put the effort in!"
"And I thought for once I'd actually do something right by your standards," Zeno said. "Because, according to you, I'm not doing anything right."
"Again, you've got to put in the effort to change, Zeno." Echo folded her arms. "I'm not going to let this marriage end just because you're unwilling to change."
"But do I have to change?"
"Of course you do!"
"And what if I don't? What if, just maybe, Echo, the problem isn't with me?"
"Says the person who doesn't take notes during meetings. Says the person who doesn't bother training the new recruits as he should!"
"And who's fault is that? The last one?"
"Yours!"
"Mine. Mine because I don't have to at all deal with Maria sneaking in to train the new recruits I'm supposed to be training."
"Not that you want to do your job, Zeno."
"And how would you know that?" Zeno crossed his arms, his fingers biting into his forearms as he mentally fought back the baggage which came with that. "It never has occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, I actually do want to be doing my job? That maybe, just maybe, it's actually the right job for me? Only, you're more concerned with the fact that I'm not doing my job rather than someone taking something I really want to do away from me?"
"I—I didn't know," Echo said.
"Of course, you didn't know. You're too fixated on fixing me when I don't need to be fixed."
"Says the person who doesn't take notes during meetings. Who's never taken notes a day in his life."
Zeno took a deep breath. "You really don't know me, do you?"
"I'm not wrong about you never taking notes, Zeno. But what would you do if you had a new recruit not taking notes off your training sessions? Huh?"
"I would have let it slide if they were getting the material," Zeno emphasized. "Just like Regius, let it slide with me."
"What?" Echo stared.
"Some people learn differently, Echo."
"As if Regius would have let that slide! And what if there's something that you didn't get?"
"Back then? I'd have gone straight to Regius and asked. And now? At meetings? I can take a gander at Xiera's notes."
"So you're saying that I'm not needed?"
He frowned, glancing away. It was a rather dirty trick, in a way, trying to make him feel guilty.
"Zeno, please tell me that I'm needed!"
Zeno took a deep breath. "What I don't need is someone trying to change me. I don't need someone making me feel like crap for everything I do, constantly berating me for being me."
"Come on. I've always been your tech support."
And there she had him, pointing out that she'd always provided the recovery and support in the field.
"See! I am needed!"
"And you're missing the point!" Zeno sighed. "There's a difference between being my partner in the field and my partner off the field. And even then," he found himself needing to stop.
"And even then?"
There was no getting around the fact, even under Maria's tutelage, that Echo hadn't grown as an ARKS operative.
"Please tell me I'm not a burden, Zeno. Please."
"You're being unfair," Zeno said. "You don't need me to tell you whether you're useful or not."
"But, every way I'm useful is useful in helping you," Echo said.
"And that's why you've not grown as an ARKs operative," Zeno said. "There. I've said that."
"Said what?"
"That you need to find ways to be useful to everyone in ARKs, not just me, but you won't grow as an ARKs operative otherwise."
"You don't know what you're talking about!"
"So says the person who thinks I'm incapable at my own job. What was my job now?" Zeno sighed. "Oh yeah. I'm in charge of training, or I'm supposed to be. You're so willing to do all the paperwork, stuff you don't need to be taking on—it just gives certain higher-ups the idea they've got the freedom to do whatever they want, Echo."
"But," Echo looked at the table. "Everyone will think," and then she stopped.
"Think what?" Zeno sighed.
"But I've already told everybody about our first-anniversary celebration? Couldn't we wait? Maybe if we waited, things would work out. Right?" Echo said. "I can change."
It was tempting to say yes to her, but then one of the issues between them was how Echo would guilt trip him into feeling a certain way. He looked at his hands. "And who's fault is that? Everybody, knowing about our first anniversary plans, which aren't going to happen?" Zeno looked at his hands. "Waiting until after will just make it harder to face everybody, particularly with you planning on us renewing our wedding vows, vows I feel have already been broken."
"What? What do you mean by that? You haven't been cheating on me, have you?"
Zeno let out a laugh. "Of course not. There's not anybody else, not that there would—how can there ever have been anyone else with you always being there?"
Which, of course, wasn't fair to him, the way she definitely put a stop to him getting to know some of the other ARKS. Yet, at that moment, a thought crossed his mind regarding how some of the new recruits would, in fact, be female ARKs operatives, resulting in that voice in his head saying maybe what Echo did was somewhat intentional. This only hurt it even more, given they'd been friends for a long time.
And that—he didn't want to say it out loud, not when there was a part of him that did want to salvage what he could of a broken relationship.
"Then what? And are you accusing me of sabotaging your chances of being with someone else?"
"I'm saying neither one of us had had the chance to be with someone else outside of when you thought I was dead," Zeno said, noting she'd not taken the chance to be with someone, albeit there wasn't enough time to be with someone.
"And who's fault is that?" Echo snapped.
"I'm tired of feeling guilty for something I had to do," Zeno said. "And that's part of the problem, is it? But outside of that, when have I not been there for you?"
Echo opened her mouth, then shut it. The answer was never, and they both knew it.
"And when have you been there for me?"
"I've been your tech support for who knows how long," Echo said.
"And we're circling back to being a partner in the field is different than being a partner off the field." Zeno took a deep breath and stood up. "I think you have your answer, Echo."
"Hold on! We're not done talking!" Echo said, standing up.
"What more is there to talk about?"
Echo opened her mouth to protest.
"You weren't able to answer my question, Echo," Zeno said.
"I've been there taking notes for you. And keep you on track for your job."
"And I've already said why that wasn't being there for me, that it's the exact opposite."
"Zeno, please! Don't do this to me! You don't know what this will do to me!"
And there was the guilt trip again; only this one stung differently than what Echo intended. Yet he didn't know how to respond.
"Zeno!"
"And what about me, Echo?" Zeno said, knowing that wasn't how he wanted it to come out. He wasn't, after all, the type of person to put himself first, always putting those he cared about first. And it had taken a toll.
"Zeno! Please!"
"You're not being fair, but you've ignored what I've said," Zeno sighed. "About how one-sided this has all been. About how I can't take it anymore because it's mentally breaking me."
"You jerk!"
"For wanting what's best for me for once?" Zeno said.
"I've always wanted what's best for you!"
Zeno frowned. "This is going nowhere, Echo. It's—you yet again didn't listen to anything I said. That, or you're choosing to ignore it. So please, let me go."
And he left her standing there, a shocked look on her face.
