It was dark by the time Danny got home. It had been another long-ass day of chasing down leads and then finally chasing down – literally – a suspect. Steve had added another crop of gray hair by vaulting over a stair railing to tackle the drug runner du jour. At this rate, Danny was going to be silver by 40. He pulled into the driveway of his most recent rental; a definite step up from the first place Steve had barged into. He liked this place. It fit the island vibe without being kitschy. Plus, the light coral stucco did a great job of reflecting the sun.
He frowned as his headlights beamed across said stucco: there, by the door, it looked damaged. His first thought was break-in, but, no, it was the wall, not the door itself. He squinted at it a bit before turning off the lights and the ignition. He'd check it out tomorrow, in the light. Right now, a hot shower and a cold beer were calling his name.
"Well, it wasn't my imagination," Danny muttered to himself. Low on the wall, next to the door, the stucco was definitely crumbling. He could see the smoother concrete block underneath. He reached out to touch it, and drew back his hand in disgust.
"What the hell?" he yelped. His palm was covered in a clear, viscous substance. Not unlike. . .
"Alien snot," Steve deadpanned, glancing sideways at Danny. "That's what you're going with?"
"I don't know how else to describe it," Danny said, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "Like snot, okay, but so much of it. So much."
Steve stared at him some more. "Why don't you come over and have a beer after work? You know . . . unwind a little."
Danny wasn't going to argue with that. He and Steve had been . . . unwinding . . . since that day Gracie tangled with a jellyfish. It was new, still, this thing between them, and Danny was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. But Steve . . . well, he seemed to have launched into a relationship with Danny the way he launched into everything else: with 100% of his heart and soul.
"Yeah," Danny said, feeling content and secure in spite of himself. "Yeah, babe, sounds like a plan."
"Stay," Steve mumbled, pulling Danny closer and hooking a leg over him, tangling their ankles.
Danny stretched. Staying sounded like the best idea, because getting out of bed involved moving, and he didn't feel like doing that.
"Okay," he said, as if it had taken a lot of consideration. "But we're swinging by my place in the morning. I'm not doing the walk of shame into the office."
Steve got very still. "You have a problem with Chin and Kono knowing about us?"
"Do I – no, I do not have a problem. It's Kono. She always wants details. And she's very persistent."
Danny wasn't sure how he felt about Steve being a morning person. Sure, he'd known it, abstractly, because of all the times he'd arrived at the house and Steve had just finished swimming his triathalon or whatever. But that was one thing, and waking up together was another.
It was nice, mind you. It was just that Steve was so incredibly . . . energetic. Danny preferred a slow start to the day. A second cup of coffee.
But no, here they were, Steve entirely too bright-eyed behind the steering wheel, and Danny, insufficiently caffeinated in the passenger seat, pulling into Danny's driveway.
"Well, come on in," he said. "I don't do your three minute Army showers."
"Navy," Steve said, grinning. "Okay, I'll make you some more coffee while you get coiffed."
"Have I told you this morning that I love you?"
"You gave a convincing demonstration," Steve said solemnly. "Hey, I see what you mean about the stucco. It's crumbling right there. Probably water damage. We should check the gutter."
The took the few short steps up to the front door. There it was again, glistening in the early morning sunlight.
"Ha!" Danny barked triumphantly. "What did I tell you? Snot! Look at it!"
Steve poked at the goo with a curious finger, and started to say something to Danny, when their attention was drawn to a rustling sound in the foundation shrubbery. Steve drew so fast Danny actually missed it. The big idiot tried to push Danny behind him, instinctive.
Danny squawked in protest. "It's probably just a stray cat, Steven, for goodness' sakes! Put that gun away and quit terrorizing my neighbors before breakfast!"
Danny knelt down and pulled the shrubbery aside, making little kitten noises.
That's when he felt something brush across the back of his hand. He looked down.
Antennae. Long, quivering antennae. Attached to –
"Holy Mother!" He jumped up, falling backward into Steve, who had thankfully holstered his weapon.
"What?!" Steve reached for his gun with one hand, while steadying Danny with the other.
"It's – it's there! In the damn bushes!"
"What is?"
"The freaking snail from Dr. Doolittle, I swear it. You could saddle that thing and ride it," Danny panted. His blood pressure was skyrocketing. This was it, this was how he left Gracie fatherless. Stroking out next to some irradiated slug.
"That's – that's. Wow," Steve said.
"What, no explaining how that thing is the local middle school mascot? No, 'oh, you just have to get used to the island, Danno, respect the wildlife, Danno'?"
"Um, I'm pretty sure this is a Giant Land Snail," Steve said.
"Of course it's a giant snail, I can see that!"
Steve pulled the bushes back again.
"Oh my god, there's two of them," Danny groaned. "Probably making a million giant baby snails."
Steve was grinning now, and taking pictures. "I'll send these over to the university," he explained. "These are native to China, but they show up here every now and then. They're incredibly destructive, as you can see. For some reason, they consider stucco a delicacy."
"So we have another coconut crab situation on our hands," Danny said. "Why me? Why does it always have to involve me? What is with this godforsaken island and these – these mutant creatures?"
"Aww, come on, Danny," Steve said, wrapping an arm around him and pressing a kiss against his temple. "You know you love the island."
Danny sighed in resignation. "No, no, I really don't," he said plaintively. "But I must love you. A lot. Because I'm still here."
Steve beamed. "You're here because of Grace," he reminded Danny.
"No, you big goof. I came here because of Grace. I'm staying because of you."
"Giant snails and all?"
"Shut up and make me more coffee."
