WARNING: Spoilers ahead for post season 2 Re:Zero and RWBY


Ah. Life is good.

Sitting down on a throne, a broad on each arm, relaxing after a long, hard day of doing absolutely nothing. Truly, it's hard to imagine how things could be better.

That is, except for one tiny thing.

"I'M BORED!" I shout, standing up out of my throne, causing the two women beside me to take a step back in shock.

"I-Is there anything that you would like us to do, glorious leader?" One of the women stammers, the silver-haired half-elf. My sudden rise caused her previously calm and still demeanor to shift into an anxious and shaky one. I mentally sigh. To my memory, she wasn't always like this. I wonder what kind of monster caused her to be this way? Oh wait, that was me.

"Yes, glorious leader, is there anything these two broads can do for you?" the pink haired woman says, clearly with some venom in her voice. The rational part of me says that she hates me, but I can't help but feel that she's just being a tsundere right now. It's not like I killed her blue haired twin sister or anything.

"Hmm, you see, ladies, I am growing quite tired of this life." The pink haired woman's eyes widen and her mouth curves up into a grin as I say that part, probably in shock and grief that the source of her affection is possibly contemplating suicide. I can even see a few tears rolling down her eyes. Better calm her nerves before it gets worse.

"Don't worry, Ram, I still value my own life very much. I mean that I'm getting tired of this life in a more… philosophical sense."

Her tears immediately halt and her expression goes back to the glaring scowl she had on before in record time. Didn't think that facial expressions could change that fast. I'm a humble person, but I'll give credit where credit is due; I certainly know how to cheer people up. The silver haired woman, meanwhile, retains the same nervous expression she has on all the time.

I walk forward a bit and begin pacing in a circle in the ornate throne room, proudly paid for by taxpayer gold coins.

"I guess the way to say it would be that I want something else," I state while alternating between the two women's gazes. "Ever since I've been transported to this world, I've overthrown the four kingdoms, become ruler of the world, taken over the witch's cult, made all the archbishops my pawns, enlisted a colossal army, and introduced the Industrial Revolution. I've basically done everything there is to do."

"W-What about l-l-l-" the silvered haired woman starts, but does not finish. At least not for another 60 seconds. Yes, I counted. Seriously, I didn't realize it was that bad. "l-love!" she finally finishes.

She looks to me as if the slightest negative answer would destroy her emotionally. Her limbs were trembling so much that one wouldn't be blamed for assuming she had Parkinson's.

"Yes, that's certainly an issue," I find myself mumbling. "It's a bit too late for that, though. I've made myself a religious deity. It's hard to meet people intimately if all they want to do is worship you or get you to sign their babies."

"Oh, no, what a horror, having people who love you," Ram says in the same monotonous, trained voice she always uses. "That would be a terrible thing, having people alive who will mourn your death should you drop dead the next day."

"I don't think it would be that terrible, Ram," I say, letting out a light chuckle at her sarcasm. I swear, she always knows what to say to lift me up. "Although, that does give me an idea."

I stop in my tracks and hold up my black jewel pendant to my face, watching it as it glows.

"Yo, E-money, could you be a homie and contact all the Authority users and tell them to hurry on over to my castle ASAP?"

"What am I now, a glorified telephone?" an annoyed ladylike voice says, reverberating in my mind. "Really, 'our glorious leader', you need to consider what you say to young, innocent maidens such as myself. Things we hear could very well corrupt our brains beyond repair. Before my innocence is gone forever from hearing more profane language, rest assured, I shall have it done 'ASAP'"

"Thanks, Big E, you're a lifesaver." I then walk back on over to my throne and take a seat before putting one arm around each dame, just as it should be.

"What is this all about, glorious leader?" Ram asks me, her eyes narrowed, but not beyond what could be assumed as stoicism. "Did your infallible memory perhaps forget the last time every Authority user was brought into the same room?"

"No worries, Ram, I have it all under control this time," I say, putting my hand up. A grin finds itself on my face as I think about the plan.

My Authority is pretty great, having the power to change reality itself based on the actions taken while possessing the Authority. If I put a "kick me" sticker on someone's back, I could theoretically take away the sticker at any given time just by thinking of it. The best part is that I can pick and choose which effects of removing the sticker would stay or not, like the bruise from getting kicked in the backside.

This also applies to the archbishops. Pandora, the previous wielder of Vainglory, gave every archbishop their Authority, effectively making it so that she could take it away at any given time. And, since she handed me hers, her actions passed down to me.

In other words, I pretty much own all the Authority wielders. I wasn't kidding about them being my pawns.

Before I can continue my internal monologuing, the first of my visitors steps into the room as the door slowly closes behind him.

He is a grotesque looking fellow, his skin a sickly tint of green and his hair a similar shade to moss. One could be forgiven for not noticing his sickly green demeanor from behind, as his long cultist robes and hat cover up most of his skin. His eyes bulge as he makes eye contact with me, his mouth stuck in that smile that looks like his teeth are chattering, minus the chattering part.

"Greetings, oh glorious leader, what is it that must be done on this day as fellow believers in love?" He asks very enthusiastically, making erratic movements and gestures. I notice the two women flanking me flinch at his wild gesticulations. Don't understand what they're scared of. Petelgeuse is a really nice guy when you know him. And I know just how to talk to him.

"Oh, it is something grand, so diligent that we shall be rewarded with love for a long time to come," I lead him on, watching his pupils dilate at the mention of diligence. "However, I must wait for the rest of the Archbishops to come, so we can ensure everyone is informed at the same time to avoid…slothfulness."

"OH, MY GLORIOUS LEADER!" Petelgeuse exclaims, raising his two hands to his mouth to bite his fingers repeatedly, so much to the point that they begin bleeding profusely. To my side, I can feel the silver haired woman quivering and grasping my arm more so than usual. Like I said before, Petelgeuse is a really good guy. They just haven't gotten to know him yet. "To be so diligent, to avoid slothfulness so much! Truly, my brain trembles! Her love shall rain upon us who display diligence. But what could be more diligent than burning down orphanages full of the slothful? This one does not quite understand…my brain trembles."

While Petelgeuse continued ranting about sloth enough to make a zookeeper blush, two more sins entered quietly, which is surprising considering how loud Archbishops get.

"This meeting better be important, seeing as you interrupted this lovely lady's very well deserved beauty sleep for it," one of the arriving Archbishops pompously said, a small, scantily clad blonde with red eyes. Despite me being above her in rule and being able to take away her authority with a mere thought, she regularly scowls at me and shows attitude. A lot of people find that intimidating, case in point the trembling woman to my left, but I personally don't get it. Capella has the body of a pre teen girl wearing a skimpy bikini. While morally wrong, it can't be said that it's scary. Her glare and crossing arms more reminds me of a cranky child throwing a tantrum after getting woken up from a nap.

"Yes, leader, it is imperative that you listen to her. While I will admit that her behavior is slightly uncouth, especially to one who governs over us all, it is a good trait of a leader to listen to his or her advisors and subordinates. Otherwise, what good would that ruler be if he did not have the interests of those they are ruling over in their mind? I implore you to not only forgive her for her sentence, but to take into consideration what she has to say as well, for it is a useful thought. I would be a good leader if I were on your throne, so whenever you think of a difficult decision such as the one that just transpired, please ask yourself the question, 'What would the esteemed and humble Regulus Corneas, the Sin Archbishop of Greed, do in this scenario?' And I am not just defending #239 just because she is my wife, but because she —"

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!" Capella screamed at the white haired man, her mouth stretching to cartoonishly large degrees. "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME THAT!"

"That is factually correct yes, you have implored me to stop calling you #239, but it is a fact that you are my 239th wife, and as such it makes sense to call you that. Would it not be appropriate to call a rose a rose? It does not make much sense to call something which it is not. And I would like to inform you that I was in the middle of talking, and that it is bad manners to interrupt someone while they are talking. It is a violation of my rights and I will not stand for it. Honestly, I thought you would know better by now, #239, seeing as we've been married for a few months, but what can you—"

"Please shut up, Regulus. I have a name: Capella, and all I wish right now is to be called by it by my dear husband," Capella said, taking deep breaths, having calmed herself down a bit during his lengthy monologue.

"Very well then. I shall concede on this point, Capella. As they say, 'happy wife, happy life.' Although you may not be factually correct, I still wish to make amends for our argument, and say that —"

"Enough, ok," I say, holding my hand up to my forehead. "Just, both of you chill, please."

They both heed my command without complaint, turning to face each other once again. Believe it or not, those two used to be way worse. As in, my whole castle would be destroyed in one argument worse. Then I got the brilliant idea of marrying them together. A completely average man with a girl who could shapeshift into anything and everything. Their abilities also align well, making them nigh unstoppable together. Aside from the combat benefits, they seem to have mellowed out in general, Capella giving up torturing people for fun and Regulus finally freeing all his wives.

And throughout this whole exchange Petelgeuse is still rambling to himself about slothfulness and the witch's love, because of course he is.

The next sin to show up was Gluttony, all three of them, and if you ask me, the scariest sin. Don't let their appearances as ratty kids fool you. They have the ability to either erase someone's memory or erase everyone's memories of someone ever existing. I don't know if their ability works on me, and I really don't want to find out.

Ram has been quiet this whole time, as she usually is, but I noticed that she tightened her grip on my arm upon seeing Lye, the third of Gluttony representing Gourmet. When I looked up at her, she wasn't even trying to hide her gritted teeth and her narrowed eyes. I wonder what she has against him. Fortunately, Lye didn't notice, as he was too busy arguing with his brother Roy over whether food should be eaten bizarrely or gourmet, whatever that means, while their sister watched with mild interest.

A couple more minutes passed as everyone conversed amongst themselves, the rest of the sins trickling in.

The silver-haired woman's eyes noticeably get a bit tearful upon seeing Natsuki Subaru of Pride, though she tries to hide it. He doesn't notice, as he's too busy staring off into the distance with that dead-eyed glare he always wears like a chump. What a sick man, making a girl cry just by looking at him. Tsk tsk tsk.

"Alright, everyone!" I announce to the now complete gathering of superpowered lunatics. "I have gathered you all here for an expedition, one which will allow us to spread our influence beyond this world!"

"You've found a way to travel between worlds, while bringing people along with you, and wish to travel to said other worlds to assert our influence there," Subaru said as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Thanks for ruining my fun again, Subaru," I sigh. "But yes, you are right. Using my Authority, I hypothesize— actually, Subaru, can you confirm if it works or not?"

To this, he slowly nods his head. "Ok, as I was saying, my Authority can transport us to different worlds if I know what the world is, and I can bring along people with me! Exciting, I know."

No one really seemed enthused. Crickets could be heard chirping in the distance.

"Can you guys at least pretend to be excited?" I say, standing up, throwing my hands in the air, before bringing them back down on my hips with a cocksure grin growing on my face. "Well, I suppose it doesn't matter too much anyway, since I'm the glorious leader in this scenario. I'm bringing all you with me regardless."

Again, no reaction. A tumbleweed blew by across the throne room.

I sat back down in my chair quietly. The silver haired woman pats me on the back and gives me a thumbs up, much like one that a kid at a little league baseball game would receive after striking out.

"Everyone in this room should not be here," I say, ever so slightly crestfallen. "We are in the world of RWBY, in the most important city to the plot, in a large, newly constructed house."

And just like that, we were gone.