Hey, folks. Back from break with recharged inspirations as this is a fic between Eddie Valiant and Roger Rabbit having bro time over football. This is just a barbershop talk between the two characters. Just so you know, barbershop talk in the black owned barbershops is a pivotal part of the atmosphere. As a black person, I take part of it while I wait for my haircut. Though Eddie and Roger aren't in the barbershop, the kind of talk expressed will have that element in the story.

Anyway, Who Framed Roger Rabbit belongs to Disney and not me. Let's get it.

Eddie Valiant was taking a break from his casework and watched some football between the LA Rams and the Seattle Seahawks. So far, the Rams were doing okay leading by 3 in the 1st Quarter. He sipped on a bottle of ginger beer feeling content. He laid off of the alcohol in favor of his new favorite being ginger beer.

"Heh. What a shovel pass. Got 'em with the swiftness.", the detective chuckled to himself watching the Rams make a first down midfield. However, a doorbell rang stopping his train of thought frowning to himself.
"Who the hell is that? Better not be a salesman. If so, they got another thing coming.", Eddie grumbled walking to the door to answer. The doorbell rapidly rang annoying the detective as he yelled.
"Dammit! Quit messin' up my doorbell!", he yelled getting to the door to open it revealing to be none other than Roger Rabbit. The rabbit displayed his bucktoothed grin greeting the somewhat grouchy Eddie.

"Hiya, Eddie! Whatcha up to?", the rabbit said only for Eddie to deadpan.
"Roger, how many times do I have to tell you? Quit ringing like a Wildman on my doorbell like that. I swear you'll tear the devil out of it.", Eddie groused as Roger chuckled.
"P-P-Please! It's my signature ring when I visit somebody. What could possibly go wrong?", the rabbit innocently asked as Eddie smirked at his buddy.
"Just get in here. You're just in time for the game between the Rams and the Hawks."
"Oh, goody. I hope the Rams send those Seahawks packin'."

Both guys head inside to watch the game in the living room where the commercials just ended. They sat down with Eddie offering Roger a ginger beer.
"Want a ginger beer? I got plenty of those. Don't worry.", Eddie offered as Roger took one and drank some of it.
"Jeepers, this is good. I told you these drinks are heavenly. Even so than carrot juice.", the rabbit grinned with Eddie chuckling.
"That's because you got me hooked on them. But I have to say that they are infinitely better than alcohol. Hell, Delores seems to be happy with it.", the detective noted. Roger agreed as he sipped on his soda.

"Yep. Say, where's Delores anyway? Her car's not here.", Roger asked.
"She's out runnin' errands. She'll be back in a bit. For now, I'm holdin' the house down until she gets back.", the detective answered.
"Jessica's at Lena Hyena's for some afternoon tea.", Roger confessed as Eddie was amused. He playfully nudged the rabbit in a bro manner.
"Oh yeah. Girl talk I see. Oh shit! Intercepted! That's just great!", Eddie shouted at the TV after the Rams QB threw it to a Seahawks linebacker stopped at the Rams 34-yard line. Roger shuddered at the hometown team now on the defensive.
"Jumpin' Jeepers, Eddie! They're almost at the endzone! P-P-Please say it isn't so!", the goofball rabbit blubbered only for the detective to roll his eyes at his friend's reaction.
"Relax, Rog. If the Rams hold them off, then at least it's a field goal at worst. Besides, we have 10-7 over Seattle anyway.", Eddie assured Roger gulping down the ginger beverage. Roger sighed with relief for a while. However, a couple plays later did a flag fall against the Rams which turned to an automatic first down causing Eddie to yell at the screen.
"Ah, that's bullshit! That play was legal! He stopped the catch fair and square! That ref needs some laser eye surgery!", he ranted.
"We almost picked it off for sure! Bah, whizzers on them.", Roger added after Eddie ranted. For the time being, they watched the game in silence gulping down ginger beer. The game tied at 10 a piece due to a lucky stop by the Rams however a phone rang belonging to Eddie as the owner sighed.
"Hang on, Rog. It might be Delores.", the detective answered the phone without reading the ID. He put the phone on speaker before saying something.
"Hi, Delores. Is everything okay?", Eddie asked but he was soon greeted by a prankster teen.
"Uh-huh-huh. Are you Seymour Butts? Uh-huh-huh."
"Yeah-yeah! Heh-heh-heh! Owww!"

"Shut it, buttwagon! I'm trying to get ahold Seymour Butts. Huh-huh.", the two teens on the other end argued causing Eddie to get mad yelling through the receiver.
"All right, you good for nothin' delinquents! I know your game and can smell you right through the phone, assholes!", Eddie yelled as the teens laughed.
"Huh-huh-huh. Hey, Beavis. He can smell us through the phone."
"Whoa! That is cool! Heh-heh-heh! Dun-dun-dun-dun!", the two troublemakers laughed annoying Eddie and Roger in the process.
"So you think this is funny, punks?! Let me catch you call here again with that shit! I dog dare you!", Eddie growled hanging up the phone and sat back to his seat. Roger sighed as he turned to Eddie looking grouchy.
"That was Beavis and Butthead. Those two can be troublemakers crank calling anytime they feel like it."

"I see.", Eddie nodded with the rabbit as he saw the score shift in the Rams' favor making it 17-10 in the 2nd quarter. Roger thought about something while Eddie drank his second ginger beer. Another phone rang but this time it was Roger's but what made Eddie spit out his drink was the ringtone playing "Shake Yo Ass" by Mystikal.

"Shake Yo Ass! Wa-watch ya self! Shake Yo Ass! Show 'em what ya workin' with!", the song blared causing Roger to chuckle answering the call.
"Oh hi, Love Cups.", Roger greeted his wife with a grin on his face.
"Oh, Honey Bunny. Are you doing okay? You're not too lonely, are you?", the redhead said checking on her man.
"I'm doing swell, Love Dove. I'm at Eddie's watching football. How's everything at Lena's?"

"It's going good. By the way, do you want anything from the store?", Jessica asked the rabbit as Roger grinned.
"Not at the moment, babe. But thanks though.", Roger answered.
"Oh ok. And I'd like to show you something tonight once you're finished watching the game. See you at home, Honey Bunny.", Jessica purred before exchanging byes hanging up the phone. Eddie turned to the rabbit flabbergasted while the rabbit chuckled.
"What's the matter, Eddie? You look like ya seen a ghost or somethin'."

"Don't tell me you've assigned that ringtone to your wife's caller ID.", the detective said only for Roger to grin.
"I sure did. After all, I'm kind of an ass hare and I cannot Lie. You really can't deny."

"Ok. Ok. Say no more. That song will get stuck in my head for sure.", Eddie chuckled urging Roger not to continue with the song dedicated to butts. The two knuckleheads were enjoying themselves until halftime with the Seahawks up 3 pts in the lead making it 20-17. In fact, the door unlocked revealing to be Delores as she walked in to the living room greeting the boys.
"Eddie, I'm back from the store. Oh hello, Roger. Good to see you.", Delores said causing Roger to answer with a smile.
"Hiya, Delores. I'm doin' okay. Just enjoyin' some good football."
"Honey, glad ya back. Got anymore of these pork rinds? I'm hankerin' for some and Rog Is also.", the detective said only for Delores to sigh at her husband's choice of food.
"Why am I not surprised? Yes, I did buy another bag of those. But you shouldn't eat too many of those and I see you guzzled a lot of ginger sodas too.", Delores noted not impressed of her husband and Roger eating rubbish.

"Relax, Delores. I'm as healthy as a bull. Right, Rog?", Eddie smirked with Roger agreeing. Delores shook her head and took out the pork rinds out the bag handing it to the boys before heading to the kitchen.
"Oh, all right. But you boys still need to eat something healthy. In fact, I'll be in the kitchen cooking dinner if you need anything.", Delores said before leaving for the kitchen. Once out of earshot, Eddie smiled to himself before opening the big bag of rinds.
"Delores can sometimes be a worrywart. My dad enjoyed a big slab of ribs and it didn't hurt him one bit. Feel free to get a handful of some of these rinds. I'm sure it won't spoil your dinner.", the detective offered as Roger took some and ate the salty snacks.
"I'm sure our wives are just lookin' out for us. Love Cups is an angel for sure.", Roger said smiling at the mention of Jessica. Eddie shrugged eating his Portion of rinds before answering the rabbit.
"Yeah, yeah. That's all good I suppose. Speaking of which, remember when Jessica fought Cruella? That woman put a hurtin' on her.", the detective asked. Roger shuddered but smiled afterwards.
"Yeppers. Love Cups sure put a whoopin' on her. Cruella's been tryin' to make a fur coat out of me. As if dog-skinned coats couldn't be more sickening.", the rabbit said but Eddie added in to the mreminiscing.

"Your wife's literally a feisty fox woman. We had to pry her off and I nearly got bit for my troubles. In short, breaking up the fight was troublesome.", the detective shuddered at the memory of himself and other cops breaking up the fight between Jessica and Cruella. Roger smiled but had a question in mind watching the 3rd quarter roll on. He gulped down the pork rinds before turning to Eddie with a shy demeanor.
"Hey, Eddie."
"Yeah?", the detective answered as Roger twiddled his gloved fingers before gathering up the courage to ask him a locker room question.
"Have you ever pulled your wife's hair during patti-cake?", the rabbit asked causing Eddie to nearly choke on his rind and had a shocked expression. The detective shook off his stupor and frowned.
"Why would you ask something like that? Delores is the type to put me 8 feet under.", Eddie hissed but Roger grinned lightening the convo.
"P-P-P-Please, Eddie. I pull my wife's hair and she loves it. And isn't it 6 feet under when you bury somebody?", Roger raised an eyebrow confused causing Eddie to drop his jaws in comic fashion.
"What the hell?! I wouldn't think you're the rough type of guy when makin' nookie with ya wife. Pullin' her hair back? What's next? Biting her butt?"
"Yes, indeedy-dee!", Roger laughed causing Eddie to deadpan but couldn't help but listen to how shocking Roger is with Jessica between the sheets. The fact that Roger gives Jessica rough and tough made Eddie question the rabbit. But the next question will throw Eddie off-guard.
"This may be out of nowhere. There's something I would like for Jessica to do but I'm afraid to say it.", the rabbit blushed feeling nervous about the situation. Eddie drank his soda and motioned him on to continue. Roger sighed and gulped as he gathered the courage necessary to tell him.

"I looked up this site on the laptop and I watched toons take a whiz on somebody. And I—"
"Whoa-whoa-whoa! You're saying you've watched a porno of somebody peeing?! Rog!", the detective was shocked at Roger's actions. Delores overheard quietly in the kitchen cooking as she raised an eyebrow in curiosity and shock at what she's heard. The woman texted somebody before heading back to spying while cooking.

"Yeah. It was good too. I wanted to tell Love Cups about it but I'm kind Of scared what she'll think of me wanting to do something like that.", Roger confessed. Eddie ate some more rinds before putting the ieces together.
"So you're interested in getting marked on by Jessica? You might want to tell her about that. I'm sure she'll understand your new kink to try out."

"But, eddie. I'm kinda nervous. What if she thinks I'm gross?", Roger worriedly told Eddie feeling hesitant.

"Kid, if you prolong this from her, it would make the situation worse. The best thing to do is to express how you feel about wanttting to get marked on and she'll gladly do it for you. I'm sure of it.", the detective said with an assuring smile. Roger knew now that the detective was right and the fact that things could get worse if the rabbit keeps things like that in the dark from Jessica. In reality, the rabbit would have a chance for such a kink.

"You know, Eddie? You're right. As soon as I get home, I'm definitely going to ask Love Cups to finally make it rain on me.", Roger grinned while Eddie sheepishly grinned at the rabbit's eagerness to get pissed on. Delores listened in and giggled to herself of what Roger wants to do with Jessica. A text came on screen as Delores answered it typing away.

"Jeepers, Eddie! The Rams are back on top! And the 3rd quarter's almost up.", Roger cheered watching the Rams make the touchdown from a pass. Eddie smirked at the big play turning to Roger.
"Oh yes, Rog. Football's definitely the sport of kings. We're back in the lead for sure."

"Better than diamond rings.", Roger added in causing Eddie to chuckle.
"You got that from the film Wildcats, didn't you?", he asked with Roger nodding his head proudly.
"I watched that movie a lot and got Herman to watch it. A movie about a lady coach teaching a group of misfits about the game of pigskin. Classic.", Roger beamed.

"It's an alright movie in my opinion. Watched it on the old VCR which still works to this day.", Eddie noted pointing to that device in his entertainment cabinet.
"It's the same with minee. Still works and my tapes of comedians still in good condition. Especially my favorite one being Richard Pryor and the Kings Of Comedy. Who knew that comedians of the past are the best.? Golden and genius.", Roger enthusiastically told the detective who smirked.

"Yeah. They were the best in the days. I tell you what. There's nothin' like it than a good quality film on a VCR. Sure, Blu-rays and streaming are good in their own right but some films are only on VHS. Heck, my Betamax still works. I had it locked in the closet somewhere. It was Teddy's but now I have it.", the detective smiled about the good Old days of Teddy's device. Roger was interested as he asked about his collections.

"Did you and Teddy have a monster film collection on Betamax?"

"Yeah. The Universal Monster Collections. Teddy liked watching the Wolfman while I liked the Frankenstein movie.", Eddi chuckled about each of their favorite films.

"I kind Of shuddered of the Frankenstein film but thankfully Jessica was there to calm me down. However, the Godzilla films were something else. I kind of gotten over my fears watching the monster movies. I still have the set of films at home.", the rabbit said.
"The Showa Collection? Now those are some great Godzilla films though Delores is quite the scaredy cat. Jumped right onto my lap for great measure.", the detective laughed unaware that Delores frowned and smirked.

"Jessica and I watched King Kong vs. Godzilla and it was one of the best monster films ever. I sometimes get nightmares from monster movies or is it the leftover Pizza before bed?", Roger wondered but Eddie raised an eyebrow.
"I told you leftover pizza before bed is a bad idea, remember?'

"P-P-P-Please. That carrot and pepperoni pizza was calling my name. Though Love Cups warned me about eating late before bed.", the rabbit chuckled sheepishly. Eddie amused at Roger's antics Just watched the game as the guys let the time pass. It didn't take long for Delores to finish dinner.

In short, the trio had some dinner and the game was over with the Rams on top of the Seahawks 30-24. It was getting late after the next football game being the Panthers beat the stew out of the Bills. Roger went to the door but thanked his friends Eddie and Delores for the visit.

"I'm glad the Rams won that game. If we win enough games, it's the playoffs for sure.", Roger beamed as Eddie chuckled.
"Yeah. As a matter of fact, I need to buy more bags of those pork rinds. We went through them like candy.", the detective grinned only for Delores to shake her head.
"Eddie, what am I going to do with you and Roger? It'll serve you both right if you had a bellyache from them."

"P-P-P-Please. Our stomachs can handle anything. Right, Eddie?", Roger grinned to Eddie who agreed with the rabbit.

"Guess the next game can be at my house. In fact, Herman can come over. It's an away game against the Cowboys.", Roger offered.
"Oh yeah. I'll definitely be over there. I'll even bring my pork rinds over and the ginger beers.", Eddie agreed as Roger nodded.
"Oh goody! I'll see you guys later. I'm going to head home to Love Cups.", Roger told the Valiants.
"You need a ride back, Roger? I'll gladly drive you home.", Delores offered but Roger politely declined the offer. Eddie told Delores to wait a moment while he talked to Roger about something related to what the rabbit confessed to him earlier. Once Delores nodded and left, Eddie smirked before talking to Roger.

"Okay, Rog. You remember what you must do when you get home, right?"

"Yeah. I hope Jessica won't get mad in the end. I love her so much that I don't want to mess it up.", the rabbit nodded feeling nervous again. Eddie sighed as he encouraged Roger.

"Look, kid. I'm sure Jessica would bee shocked but she'll be understanding at the same time. I'll tell you what my kink is with Delores. But this shouldn't be told to anyone, got it?", Eddie warned with a serious expression. Roger beamed with a zipper for a mouth confirming his answer as Eddie's mood went back to softening to a smile.
"Good. Let's just say that I'm kind of a feet guy. In other words, I sniff her feet and it smells good. At first, I was shy when Delores caught me in the act but after telling her about it, she understood and it's smooth sailing. The worst thing you can do is not be honest with your wife about it. Hope my fetish can help you express yours.", Eddie advised the rabbit. Roger with newfound confidence gets ready to go but thanked him for helping him out on an awkward subject. Once Roger left, Eddie wished the rabbit luck but Delores texted a certain redhead related to Roger's confession. The brunette blushed after hearing Roger mentioned wanting Jessica to mark on him but decided to shake that off and let it be.

A/N: That's the one-shot with Roger and Eddie, folks. I may do a follow-up fic where Roger and Jessica "work out their kink". Don't forget to read and review. As always, LilMancub out and I'll see y'all in the next one.