Trouble

Sam knew that Bobby was pissed before the man said anything. The man's demeanour as he opened the fridge for a beer was as telling as the scowl on his face. While he was sorry that he'd upset the man he considered a father, he was not sorry that he risked everything to save Dean. True, his efforts had been wasted as Dean was still sick from the curse, but it was also true that he hadn't been too badly injured by his adventure. He was prepared to stoically accept the consequences Bobby chose to dish out for disobeying him. He owed the man that much. Dad had taught him long ago that disobedience was unacceptable regardless of the situation. If you were disobedient you are punished and a good man accepted it without complaint. Sam tried to be a good man even though he knew he wasn't.

"I'm sorry, Bobby." Sam apologised quietly.

For a second all that could be heard was the popping sound of Bobby's beer opening followed by the well-known fizz of its carbonation.

"Are you?" Bobby questioned, not unkindly. "Because it seems to me boy that you ain't sorry for needlessly puttin your life at risk once again!"

Sam resisted the urge to sigh. In dad's book that was insolence and when you were getting your ass handed to you, that was the last thing you wanted to be. Instead, he ducked his head submissively and avoided eye contact. When he was in trouble he wasn't supposed to look into his father's eye because he hadn't earned it. Bobby would no doubt have the same rule.

"I'm sorry I made you mad." He explained. "But I just wanted to save Dean. He would do the same for me and I couldn't just sit by and do nothing."

Sam didn't see Bobby's face change from upset to concerned. Bobby knew his boys well and he should have known that Sam would do whatever it took to save Dean even if it wasn't a guarantee it would work. It didn't matter to either boy the price to themselves where family was concerned. He was used to them arguing with him over things like that, but Sam seemed different now. He was like a chastised child rather than an adult.

"Look, kid," Bobby replied, forcing himself to calm down. "Am I happy that you nearly got yourself killed? No, of course not. But that doesn't mean I don't understand. I was probably going to do a similar thing soon. However, going to that witches' coven - alone - was a stupid idea. Stupid without backup at least. You didn't even know if they were the ones responsible for the curse! That's why I asked you to stay until we had researched it more so that we would be better prepared."

Bobby knew that asking Sam to never risk himself for his family would be pointless. It was the same for him and Dean. Bobby would never ask them to promise to do otherwise. It was part of their nature, it was part of what made them good men. Asking them not to risk their lives would be unfair. He just hoped they thought it through first and didn't needlessly put themselves at risk like Sam had done today.

Dean had been cursed by a witch and would die of 'Magical Sickness' unless that same witch or someone connected to them, cast the counter-curse. Sam had heard of a coven in New Town, North Dakota. Sam and Dean had been nearby finishing a job when he had been cursed. So, naturally, Sam connected it to the rumours of the coven. The rumours turned out to be true, and Sam had been prepared to crash in their head first and demand they fix the curse. Bobby wanted to do more research, work out how to defend themselves and figure out if they were really the ones responsible before they went in all guns blazing. In the end, Bobby 'won' that argument and Sam agreed to wait: all three hours. Then Dean started to convulse and Sam had enough of waiting.

Thankfully, Bobby knew Sam well enough to know he wouldn't wait and noticed fairly quickly that he had disappeared. He drove like a bat out of hell and got to the coven just in time to save himself from being killed by the witches. He pulled Sam out of there, half-conscious, bloody and pissed off at Bobby. He later determined that the coven had not been responsible and patched Sam up. They'd sort that coven out later once Dean was healed.

Sam nodded. At least Bobby seemed to know that his motives were pure. He also understood that risking his life for his brother, and for his family, was just something he had to do. That, of course, did not excuse disobedience and there would inevitably be some punishment for that. He only blamed himself for making Bobby discipline him, he never had to before. Oh, there had been some sharp rebukes over the years and some extra chores here and there but no proper punishments: the ones left you aching or in pain for days after.

"I understand and I'm sorry that I didn't listen," Sam admitted. Apologies were never worth much, but they did at least show Bobby he knew he was wrong. "I just couldn't stand the thought of Dean getting sicker when there was something I could do. I was no use to you."

Bobby was smart, he was good at research, particularly when it came to books in languages he didn't know. While Sam was well versed in a few languages including some dead ones, his linguistic skills were nothing compared to Bobby. There was no need for him when Bobby could do all the research himself. He would have only gotten in the way. He wasn't smart enough to be helpful, he worked in a pinch but when Bobby was there? The man was a genius whereas he was an idiot. He didn't need Sam. But muscle? True that was Dean's territory but with Dean out of action, he'd have to do. It wasn't like he was of any use otherwise.

"That's not true!" Bobby refuted. "I needed someone to help me trawl through all that information on the internet. I need help analysing those books. I need someone who knows random facts and connects them to lore. I know of no one better at that. And while I can understand the need to get into the action, you will definitely be no help to Dean if you get hurt or god forbid killed, before we find a solution. So please, no-more reckless stunts - at least not without me kid. Alright?"

He couldn't understand why Sam didn't realise what an asset he was. He was extremely intelligent and seemed to make connections that no one else could. Dean called it his 'nerd'. They both knew Sam's intelligence and his memory saved their lives more than once. Bobby and Dean both loved him for it.

Sam's cheeks flushed red in embarrassment when he realised that Bobby was right. He needed to be more careful because if he got hurt too badly he wouldn't be able to help Dean. Then when they found a solution (which of course they would - Bobby was great at that kind of thing) he wouldn't be able to help and would leave their father figure in the lurch. Now more than ever, did Sam believe he truly earned a severe punishment. Disobedience was unacceptable. It was way up there with insolence and abandoning your post. It definitely earned him a whipping.

"Yes, sir, I'm sorry I disobeyed you, sir." Sam acquiesced respectfully. It had been drilled into him from the minute he could talk. In fact, he called his father 'sir' for years before calling him 'dad' once, and had once reported that 'sir' was his dad's name. 'Dad' was only meant for special occasions and covers. He was not normally good enough to earn the privilege of informal address.

Before Bobby could comment on the formal address he so despised, Sam reached down to his belt and unbuckled it. He knew exactly the punishment he would get if his father was here and he saw no reason why Bobby would be different. He was after all for all intents and purposes, his father and this was how his father punished him. He wasn't sure if his back or his butt would be getting the belt treatment but he knew Bobby would tell him - he was kind like that.

"I am ready to accept my punishment, sir." He declared bravely, pressing the belt into Bobby's hands. He just hoped the belt would be sufficient, that Bobby wouldn't make him cut a switch or use a horsewhip like his dad did when he was truly pissed off. But luckily, Bobby just took it meaning he would get off with a belting. True, Bobby might use the buckle end, but even that paled in comparison to the punishment Dad could have given.

Bobby's face paled dramatically and for a second, Sam was worried that he was going to faint. He stared down at his hand, then back to Sam, as though trying to decide where to begin.

"Ki-Bo-So-" Bobby cut himself off as he tried to work out what to call him before he finally deiced. Suddenly, each one of his terms of endearment seemed harsh and cruel. Sam thought Bobby was going to hit him? He wasn't mad, mainly just upset and worried that Sam got hurt. He would never hurt him! Why did he think- Oh. Oh. Damn you, John Winchester.

"Sammy. I'm not going to beat you. I would never beat you." Bobby promised.

How he wished he had been legally responsible for the kids growing up. His childhood had taught him a lot of things, but mainly that hitting kids didn't do shit but scare 'em. Bobby didn't believe in corporal punishment and if he had been the boys' legal guardian, he would never raise a hand to them. He would find a way to teach them how to be good without smacking them.

Sam nodded. Of course, he wouldn't. Bobby was a good man and he loved him. He would never beat either of them. This wasn't a beating though. Beatings were something abused people got. That happened when you didn't deserve it but he always deserved it. Bobby wouldn't beat him but would punish him for being bad.

"Yes, sir, I know, sir." He answered. Sam gulped slightly. He knew it knew he deserved it but it didn't mean he wasn't scared. It was strange because it was different from when he was facing his father for punishment. He was always scared then, but this time, there was something more. He felt regret. Regret and guilt at putting Bobby in this position. Clearly, the man didn't want to belt him but that was because he cared too much.

"This isn't a beating it is a punishment that I deserve for disobeying you. How would you like me, sir? Should I bend over and drop my pants or do you want me to take off my shirt and lean against the wall?"

When his dad was punishing him, he sometimes had to guess. He hated that when it happened because if he got it wrong his dad was a lot harsher on him. He always got it wrong. Either way, once he finally submitted and his punishment delivered, everything was alright again. Sam just wanted everything to be alright again. What would Bobby do? Would he get him to guess or order him? Sam just wanted to be forgiven but he knew his back or butt needed to pay before that happened.

A loud thud filled the room as the belt was dropped against the hard wooden floor. Sam frowned before picking it up again and handing it out to Bobby. This time though, the man didn't take it. He just reached out to him. Sam flinched, expecting a slap or a punch like his dad would sometimes give him before delivering his punishment. But there was no such blow and his face didn't blossom with pain like he expected it to. Instead, the hand caressed his cheek softly before gently lifting his chin to meet Bobby's eyes.

"Sammy, I would never hit you or Dean," Bobby promised. "I would never put my hands or anything else on you with the intention of hurting you boys. And I wouldn't 'punish' you either. You're an adult: not a child and free to make your own choices even if I disagree with them. You're not a soldier and I am not your commanding officer, so while I can give you advice you don't have to take it. You didn't disobey me because I didn't order you. You disagreed with me and while I'm upset you got hurt because you didn't listen, it's not for me to punish you for that."

Sam frowned. That wasn't how this was supposed to go. He was supposed to be punished for disobeying an order. It didn't matter what he thought. It wasn't his place to share or have an opinion unless he had been given permission. He was supposed to get a harsh belting - one that would leave him sore for days. Dad would never accept this. It didn't matter if he was an adult - there had been times that Dad punished him when he came back.

"But if dad was here that was what he would do." He informed Bobby. He waited for Bobby to nod and realise that he had to do this. That he was wrong in his previous assessment. He waited for the order to get into position. It didn't come.

"I am not John Winchester." Bobby reminded. "And that son of a bitch is lucky he is dead because if he weren't I'd shoot him myself. And not with rock salt. I consider myself your dad and that you are my boys. But a good dad doesn't hurt his kids not even if they misbehave. Kids are supposed to eat your food and break your heart and be ungrateful. You love 'em anyway and teach them to be good."

Sam's eyes widened and the declaration. He never expected their relationship with Bobby to be acknowledged like that. True, he thought of Bobby as a father figure but he never thought that those feelings were reciprocated. He knew that Bobby helped them out a lot, a lot more than hunters usually did. However, he just assumed that that was due to some kind of loyalty to their father and that Bobby only did this out of duty not love.

It was pretty also incomprehensible that Bobby loved him - not so much Dean because he was a good son. Sam was a bad son even Dean said so and his brother wouldn't lie about that. People just didn't love Sam the way they did Dean. True, his brother loved him but that was different. That was only because Dad always left him in charge and Dean felt like he had to. His dad and even his mom (according to stories he had been told by his dad) didn't love him. So if his actual parents didn't love him, he definitely wasn't expecting Bobby too.

"So you're not going to belt or hit me? Like ever?" Sam questioned a little hopefully and with slight trepidation too.

It wasn't like he liked the pain he went through when he was being punished. However part of him was still nervous too if that wasn't on the table. If he wasn't going to be hit, how would he be forgiven? He had to be hurt before he could be forgiven, everyone knew that. That was how people felt better about how he screwed up and how Sam showed he was sorry. How would people know he was sorry if he didn't get the chance to let them hurt him?

"Never." Agreed Bobby.

It seemed incredulous to him that he would never be hit. On a good day, his father would slap him across the face for being slow or spank him because he broke something. In fact, Sam couldn't remember a time when he hadn't been physically punished. Even Dean had done it! Not as a kid though, just since he got back into hunting. Those had only been mild though - just a few shoves and punches when he pissed him off enough. So, the idea that Bobby wouldn't do the same was strange. He knew he was annoying and a brat - why wouldn't he be hit? Bobby must have the patience of a saint to promise that.

"But how will I be forgiven?" Sam inquired. For as long as he remembered, forgiveness had only been given once he'd been hurt in some way. True, sometimes it had been minor, only a punch, but it was always some sort of violence that proceeded forgiveness.

"You're already forgiven." Bobby declared. He needed to discuss Sam's belief that he couldn't be forgiven without violence but that could wait.

"Thank you, sir!" Sam exclaimed.

He replaced his belt slowly. After all, Bobby might change his mind and he didn't want him to think Sam was trying to escape punishment. Dad would do it sometimes. He would pretend to let him off before punishing him even harsher, both for being naive and trying to escape discipline. Suddenly, he was pulled into a bone-crushing hug. At first, he stiffened, expecting a blow. Then he melted into the embrace and accepted it fully.

"Never call me sir again, please." Bobby requested.

Bobby hated being called 'sir'. It reminded him of his father. He didn't believe children should 'yes sir' and 'no sir' people all the time. While respect was important, that formal address was unnecessary. Children should be children, not soldiers. Even when Sam and Dean were kids, he refused to be called 'sir' and the boys eventually started calling him Bobby. When their father was around, he was 'sir', of course, it wasn't worth it.

"Alright, Bobby." Sam agreed.

"Now let's go and save your brother. When this is all over, the three of us are talking about John Winchester." Bobby clapped a hand on Sam's shoulder, promising to talk about to Sam and Dean about the abuse their father subjected them to.

As he felt his youngest on his tail, Bobby thought about his two boys. He never liked John. He spent too much time avenging the life of his wife, he forgot to live himself. That was his business, of course, if he wanted to devote the rest of his life hunting the thing that killed his wife, then that was his choice. But John wasn't the only one affected by that choice. His kids were too. Bobby could understand avenging his wife, but to force your children into it, to treat them like soldiers and deny them a proper childhood, well that was unforgivable in Bobby's book.

He always thought John was too hard on them. His parenting had left a lot to be desired but Bobby never thought it went beyond that. Several times Bobby begged John to let him look after them but John was set against giving them any sense of normality. So he tried his best to help John so that his boys didn't leave another parent. All the while, he tried to give Sam and Dean the best childhood he could without risking John's wrath too much.

Now it had been revealed that he had beaten Sam under the guise of 'punishment' and Bobby wished he had done more to stop it. And if he beat Sam he surely beat Dean too. The abuse had been bad enough that Sam still expected it when he screwed up and clearly saw it as normal. There had been times when either Sam or Dean had flinched at a raised voice or sudden movement both when they were kids and when they were adults. Then there had been the few times Dean had hit Sam when he'd been pissed off. Bobby hadn't thought much of them, and those incidents probably didn't mean too much individually. But added together - Bobby cursed himself for not seeing it before. He would just have to pay more attention in future. No one would hurt his boys and get away with them now. No-one.

Bobby hated the idea that his boys, whom he loved with every fibre of his being, had been through the same terrible childhood that he had. No one deserved that but Sam and Dean? How could anyone hurt them? Well. It seemed that for once God made a good choice, after all, John Winchester was in Hell and Bobby knew of no one who deserved it more. He only wished he'd been the one to send him there.