Two weeks after Tori started at Hollywood Arts, things seemed to be going really well, all things considered. She finally got her locker decorated and had settled into the routine of her classes. And then, of course, there was Jade. Ever-elusive, ever-mysterious, Jade.
At school, they bickered the same as they had from day one, yet Jade wasn't shy about the way she looked at her. She wasn't overly affectionate, only provocative. Of course they weren't official in any way, but most days, Tori would leave school with Jade rather than with her sister. She was careful to always tell her dad in an attempt to get him off her back, but he was starting to get suspicious. Still, Tori woke up in the morning with a bounce in her step, just at the idea that she might be able to spend more time with her.
While Jade was rather reserved in public, the exact opposite was the case when they were alone. With each passing day, Jade opened up more and more, to the point where she felt comfortable initiate physical touch without asking at least twice first. Tori always told her she was happy with any kind of affection and on the occasion Jade would step out of her comfort zone, Tori happily welcomed anything she wanted to give.
On Friday, as Tori sorted through her books and packed up everything she needed to do her homework over the weekend, she wasn't at all paying attention to her surroundings. So, when she heard a guy's voice behind her, she nearly screamed.
"Hey, you're Tori, right?"
Tori turned around, then looked up at the tall boy standing behind her. "Uh, yeah, I am," she straightened up and noticed he was quite tan – Hispanic, she guessed, based on his features – with deep brown eyes and short, curly brown hair.
He smiled at her, and she could see he also had dimples. "I heard you sing at the Showcase, you have an amazing voice."
"Oh, thank you," she smiled back, delighted that someone enjoyed her show.
"I was actually wondering if you w-"
He was interrupted as Jade shouldered past him to stand next to Tori. Jade grabbed her backpack from her and held it for her as she finished packing up the last of her things. Then, to Tori's continued surprise, she reached out to hold her hand, "Ready?"
Tori's heart skipped a beat and she smiled at Jade. She'd never once done anything overtly romantic in public, and the sudden shift was surprising, but not at all unwelcome. In the past, she'd enjoyed attention regardless of her relationship status. Even while single, Jade's territorial behavior was in such stark contrast to her typical aloofness that Tori couldn't help but to want to belong to her.
The guy looked perplexed, then tried again, "Sorry, we were-"
"You were," Jade answered dismissively as she turned and led them outside to her car. Tori turned to mouth a quick "sorry" at him just before they went through the front door.
They spent half of the drive arguing over what music to play before Jade decided to veto Tori's opinions altogether in favor of the argument that it was her car. Tori didn't really have any recourse in that debate. She wasn't at all upset either by Jade's choice in music, though she wasn't about to say that out loud. After arriving at Jade's stomping ground, she somehow managed to persuade Tori into trying some basic parkour.
"You're too hesitant," Jade said from where she was crouched down near the ground. Tori frowned and Jade stood up, "You have to let go. Don't worry about anything except the obstacle in front of you. 2 feet or 20 feet – the jump is the same. Once you begin the motion, don't second guess yourself, don't over-think it, just jump." Jade quickly hopped up onto the concrete blocks they'd been using to practice and jumped between a few of them to show what she meant. "Just let yourself be weightless."
Tori bit her lip, "I don't know, I feel like it's a lot different from higher up."
Jade raised an eyebrow, shrugged, and turned to run toward a nearby alley. She jumped between the two buildings until she could pull herself up onto the roof. From there, she just started running. Tori watched in fascination as she kept an even pace, not slowing or hesitating at any obstacle. She came to a stop on the top of a large, decorative pillar, and crouched down to call out to her, "See what I mean?"
Before Tori could even begin to explain how absolutely impossible what she had just done looked to be, Jade dropped down from the pillar, then used the same technique of jumping between buildings to make her way back down far enough to where she could jump down and cushion the fall with a tuck and roll. She sprang back up onto her feet as if it were nothing and brushed off her hands.
"The thing you wa- mmph," Jade was immediately silenced when Tori suddenly wrapped an arm around her neck and kissed her. Even after Tori pulled away, Jade was speechless for a few moments. She had a slightly goofy grin as she asked, "What was that for?"
Tori shrugged, "Because I wanted to."
Jade smiled and stepped forward to kiss her again, then she tilted her head toward the building behind her, "Wanna try it again?"
Some time later, they decided to take a break on a rooftop. Tori leaned against a small wall against the edge of the building, when Jade just balanced herself directly on top of it. Tori still loved the thrill of just relaxing on top of buildings – out of sight of anyone else. It was peaceful and quiet.
She glanced over at Jade, "I never pegged you as the possessive type."
"Don't worry," Jade scoffed and shook her head as she crossed her legs underneath herself, "It won't happen again."
Tori smiled up at her, "I didn't say it was a bad thing."
She flicked a pebble off of the ledge she was balanced on and watched as it made the slow descent down to the ground. "Being possessive is the fastest way to get hurt."
"How?"
"Because if you say something is yours, then you have to fight for it, and fighting over things is how people get hurt." Jade stared off into the distant skyline, "If you don't claim something, then you can't ever lose it."
Tori frowned and lay a hand on Jade's thigh, "You're allowed to want things."
She raised her eyebrows and almost laughed, "Absolutely not. It's a waste to wait around and want things. Might as well put your energy into taking it yourself."
Tori giggled, "After that, I don't think any guy is ever going to speak to me again, so I think you succeeded there."
"Sorry," Jade bit her lip, "I wasn't thinking. It just...happened."
"Again, I didn't say it was a bad thing."
"You said it like it was," Jade mumbled.
Tori laughed, "It's a good thing."
Jade casually shifted her position as if she weren't sitting on the ledge of a tall building, "It doesn't seem like a good thing. It seems kinda shitty."
Tori just shrugged and crossed her arms, "It made me happy."
"What? Why?"
"Because you cared enough to protect me."
"But y-"
"You can't talk me out of being happy that you care about me, Jade."
Jade frowned and tossed another pebble off the side of the building, "Why me?"
Tori furrowed her eyebrows, "Why what?"
"Isn't there some, like," she pursed her lips, "I don't know, some rich dude you could be marrying?"
Tori scowled and shook her head, "Gross, no. I'd sooner jump off this building than marry some random dude who doesn't give a shit about me."
"You make a lot of bad choices, don't you?"
"Unrelated – I just don't want to waste my time like that."
Jade smiled a little bit, "What do you wanna do with your life?"
"Enjoy it."
"That's all?"
Tori glanced up at her, "What else is there?"
Jade shrugged, "I don't know. College, a singing career, tons of money?"
"It's just fluff," Tori shook her head and looked back at her, "If I can pull it off and be successful, it would feel nice, but it's far from everything I want in life."
"In a perfect world – what would you have?"
Tori took a deep breath and thought about it, "I'd like higher education, and a singing career would be amazing, but I think more than anything, I'd just like to share my life with someone who actually cares about me."
"Why is that a priority?"
"Because I feel like loving and being loved is more valuable than anything tangible. All the success in the world wouldn't guarantee I'd find that kind of companionship. I know a lot of people don't like to put much stock into it – but I'm a romantic. I'd rather fall asleep next to someone I care about in a random seemingly abandoned building than to sleep alone in a lavish house."
Jade paused, "Was that-"
"Yes, I was talking about you." Jade just stared at her, and Tori raised her hands, "I'm not about to lie and say I don't care about you. Whether you like it or not, I give a shit about you, and you can't do anything about it."
"I thought you were just, I don't know, interested about my less than legal lifestyle."
Tori waved a hand, "It was what initially drew me in, yeah. It isn't the reason I've stayed."
"Why?"
"Because I like you. Why is that so hard to believe?"
Jade gestured so strongly that Tori was afraid she might lose her balance, "Because I'm me."
Tori raised an eyebrow, "Yeah...that's...kinda the point."
Now Jade just looked entirely nonplussed. She couldn't even settle on a single facial expression, instead rapidly shifting through a wide range of emotions. She shook her head, "You do realize the only reason your dad hasn't killed me yet is lack of justification, right? It's not that he doesn't want to – it's that he doesn't think he could get away with it."
"How do you know?"
"Because he's told me on several occasions."
Her brows furrowed and she frowned, "Why would he say that?"
"He's never liked me – or any other homeless kid, for that matter," she flicked another pebble off the ledge before she jumped down onto the roof, "He's hated me ever since I robbed him because he couldn't prove I'd done it."
Tori grinned, "Why'd you rob him?"
"He tried to arrest me for begging. No social worker, no supervisor, no nothing, just tossed a 9 year old into a pair of handcuffs and patted himself on the back as if he'd done something useful. Stole his wallet so I could take his license – and money – to figure out where he lived. Back, uh, 10 years or so ago when your house got vandalized? Yeah, that was me."
"Kinda sounds like he deserved it," Tori muttered. "How long have you been on your own?"
Jade's eyes were focused on something faraway, "It was earlier that year, actually."
"How come you never went into foster care?"
She looked away, "I was for a while, til I ran away. The streets are easy, you know? Everyday is a fight for survival, but it's a routine, I know nobody is gonna help me, so I never expect anyone to. If I have to break stupid laws that only exist for the impoverished, then so fucking be it. I'm not about to feel bad for robbing someone who makes 6 figures a year or stealing some fucking food from a big chain grocery store. I knew what to expect when I spent my nights sleeping behind dumpsters. Being in some stranger's house, full of a bunch of other equally fucked up kids, feeling alienated from everyone – not to mention the fucking abuse. Surviving was so much easier when I was on my own."
Tori wasn't sure what to say, so she just reached over and held her hand. She bit her lip, then offered, "For whatever it's worth – I'm here."
Jade smiled slightly, her voice quiet, "For now."
"Isn't right now all that matters?"
"Yeah," Jade nodded slowly, "I guess it is."
Tori smiled at her and stepped forward to hug her. She rested her head on Jade's shoulder and gently rubbed her back. Jade's head dipped down and she softly kissed Tori's neck. Tori tilted her head up and caught Jade's lips as she lay a hand on her cheek. Tori curled her hand around Jade's neck and easily surrendered as Jade took the lead.
After a few moments, Jade pulled back, "Do you want to stay the night with me?"
It wasn't a new question – but it felt different. As if she were asking for something else. Tori nodded and kissed her again. She wasn't about to turn down an opportunity to spend more time with her. Jade brushed her fingers through Tori's hair and deepened the kiss. By the time she broke it again, Tori was left breathless.
"More of that, please," Tori mumbled.
Jade chuckled, "You're really affectionate."
"Is that bad?"
She shook her head, "No, it's just...different."
Tori hesitated a moment, then asked, "Have you ever been involved with anyone before?"
Jade shrugged and took a step back, "Not seriously, no."
"How come?"
Jade just raised an eyebrow, "I'm not really the type of person people want to settle down with – or that has the time to spend worrying about anyone else."
"You spend time with me."
"I don't know why," Jade crossed her arms, "Usually I'm a lot smarter about shit like this."
Tori took a step toward her, "Jade, there's not-"
"You can't tell him."
"What?"
Jade looked at her with a concerning amount of anxiety, "He can't figure out where I live again."
Tori's brows furrowed, "Has he before?"
Jade laughed, almost as if she weren't sure if Tori was joking or not. Then she stopped and just stared at Tori, "You don't know anything about him, do you?"
"It doesn't sound like I do."
"Did you know that 7 years ago he founded an anti-homeless task-force?"
"No."
"Or that he deliberately went after children?" Tori frowned, her anger beginning to rise at her dad's actions. Jade licked her lips and shook her head, "I spent a year and a half working for this one gang, I never got involved in any of the illegal shit – it was just easier for a little kid to run numbers and shit between the actual gang members. They did that with a lot of the homeless kids. Cops decided they wanted to 'crack down on gang activity' and somehow that translated into arresting and throwing children into juvie. Big shocker to everyone with at least one functional brain cell; it didn't work."
Tori looked up at her, "Did he do that to you?"
Jade pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows slightly, "A few times. He'd always tell me they'd get a plaque with my name on it since I was in and out all the time."
"That's bullshit."
"Sweet home LA."
Tori frowned and pulled her into a hug, "I'm sorry."
"Why?"
"Because my dad being a dick makes your life way harder than it needs to be, and that's not okay."
Jade scoffed, "It's not like it's your fault."
Tori leaned into her, "If it were up to me, I'd make sure you're comfortable and happy everyday."
"I'm happier when you're around," Jade mumbled into her ear.
Tori smiled and kissed her softly, "I'm here."
"Fucking hell," Jade lay back on her bed and rested her hand on her stomach, "That might have been a bit too much."
"Did you like it?"
Jade laughed, "That's why I ate so much."
Tori lay down next to her and leaned over to kiss her cheek, "Good."
"Thank you for buying my dinner," Jade looked up at her with a smile, "Can you explode from eating too much?"
"I don't think you need to worry about that."
"What if I just," Jade gestured vaguely in what seemed to be an explosion.
Tori giggled, "You'll be okay, baby, just rest for a few minutes."
Tori's eyes snapped open as she realized far too late what she had said. Jade glanced over with soft eyes and a small smile. Tori just reached out and held Jade's hand. As they so often did, they just relaxed in each others' company. Jade squeezed her hand gently, "Do you like stargazing?"
"Yes, but," Tori looked at her with a smile, "I hope there's an easier way up there."
"There's a set of stairs if you want to be boring," Jade offered, only slightly passive-aggressively, though she held out a hand with the same charming smile that won Tori's attention on the first day.
Tori grabbed her hand, "I'd offer to try to follow you, but, I'm pretty sure I'd fall – and I don't think either of us would be very happy about that."
"Bright side is," Jade opened another door leading to a stairwell and grinned at her, "You only have to worry about falling once."
"That's not a bright side!"
Jade laughed heartily, "What? The anxiety's gone almost instantly!"
"Because you're dead!"
"Not necessarily. I fell once a few years ago – and that's how I learned. You're only gonna be lucky enough to survive once."
Tori looked at her, "And you think it's a good idea for me to try that?"
"Well," Jade cleared her throat, "That's why we're practicing near the ground. I'd be kinda bummed if you fell."
Tori gave her an adoring smile, "You're so sweet."
She laughed and shook her head, "Shut up."
"Make me," Tori teased in a sing-song voice as they walked through a long hallway. From behind her, Jade suddenly pulled on her hand, and Tori quickly found herself pinned between Jade and the wall. Tori bit her lip as she saw the captivating intensity in Jade's eyes.
After a few seconds, Jade smirked, "That wasn't very hard."
Jade's smirk widened slightly as she stepped back. Tori wanted to feel indignant, but she was already thinking about how she could get Jade to do that again. She watched as Jade raised an eyebrow and turned to continue walking and Tori had to take a moment to remember how to use her legs.
"What is this place?"
"Off the books," Jade answered evasively and pushed open another door, this one looking like it led outside. Tori just shrugged and assumed it had something to do with gang activity or otherwise illegal dealings. She wondered if it was the same group Jade had mentioned working for earlier in her life. Jade paused, "I forgot the blanket."
Tori looked around, "Where was-"
Tori stopped when she turned to look at Jade, only to see her immediately drop off the edge of the roof. Tori rushed over to the edge and scoffed in disbelief. She was thinking about whether or not it was worth the long walk back just for a blanket, whereas Jade had seemingly made her decision the moment she spoke. She watched Jade drop down onto a lower roof, then jump between three or four, and Tori finally noticed a window in a nearby building had red light streaming from within, the same building Jade seemed to be heading toward.
Tori shook her head, then spared a moment to wonder how Jade planned to come back. She disappeared through the window, and about a minute later, appeared to swan dive out of the window.
Why did I have to fall for someone with such an egregious disregard to the laws of physics?
It only took a few minutes before Tori could hear the sounds of Jade's rapid movement, and one more until she saw her climb over the ledge of the building. Jade blew out a long puff of air and raised her eyebrows, "Would have been a lot easier if I didn't forget the first time."
"Where's the-" Tori was again cut off as Jade took off her backpack and unfolded a large blanket, "Oh."
Jade grinned at her, "It's kinda hard to move with stuff in your hands."
Tori just shook her head, "You're gonna give me a heart attack."
"What, why?"
The confusion in her eyes was the only thing that tipped Tori off to the fact that Jade didn't actually know what she'd done. The implication made her sad – that Jade didn't know what it felt like to have other people worry about her. Tori wasn't even sure how to feel, or what to think. She just pulled Jade into a hug and tucked her head under her chin.
"Did I do something wrong?" Jade looked at her with renewed panic, "Are you okay?"
Tori shook her head and hugged her, "I'm fine," it was then that she realized she was crying. She sniffed and wiped at her eyes, "I'm sorry, I'm just sad."
"Why?"
She tried to answer by hugging her tighter, but despite that, Jade was still anxious. Tori reached up to wrap her hand around the back of Jade's neck and pull her into a kiss. Tori was caught off guard by the sudden release of emotions she didn't realize she had been holding onto. She finally regained enough composure to answer her, "I just care about you."
Jade just rubbed Tori's back and held her, "I'm sorry."
"You didn't do anything wrong," Tori mumbled into her shoulder, "I'm just emotional."
Jade hesitated, "Why?"
Tori sniffed and shook her head, unable to articulate what she was feeling. Jade gently brushed away a few stray tears and Tori leaned into her hand. She was afraid to say too much and scare her away, but eventually her words just tumbled out, "I just think you're wonderful and I want you to be safe and happy."
"Y-you...what?"
"I care about you, Jade. A lot," she rested her forehead against Jade's, "I just want you to stay in my life."
Jade's eyebrows were knitted together in confusion, but there was a kind of vulnerability in her eyes. Tori smiled and kissed her softly, then lay her head on her shoulder. For a moment, Jade was still, but then she hugged her back, much tighter than before. A few seconds later, she heard Jade's quiet voice in her ear, "I care about you, too."
Jade led her over to the blanket she'd laid out, and for the next couple hours, they just lay up there. Occasionally Jade would point out a specific constellation, but mostly, it was peacefully quiet.
"I sleep out here a lot," Jade said after a long period of silence. "Whenever the weather is okay."
"How come?"
Jade exhaled sharply and turned her head slightly to look at her, "It feels weird and dumb to say but, I guess sometimes, sleeping inside feels...claustrophobic."
"I don't think it's dumb."
She raised an eyebrow, "I worked my ass off to get that tiny little attic all to myself – and it's not dumb that I still sleep outside?"
Tori shrugged, "It's what you're used to. It's comfortable and familiar to you."
"How are you so-" Jade stopped, paused, then tried again, "Why do you empathize with my situation rather than vilifying it like your dad does?"
"Because I think he's wrong. He's always tried to teach me that every criminal is the same – that they all did it to themselves. That they're parasites who don't deserve to have basic human needs met. I never believed any of it, and after I met you, I realized just how wrong he is. I know you do illegal things everyday, but it's what you need to do to survive, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Actually, I prefer it that way."
Jade looked bewildered, "Why?"
"Because you find a way to meet your needs without harming anyone else. You take what you need and nothing more. And to be quite fucking honest, I feel like it should be legal to steal from rich people."
Jade chuckled, then slowly licked the corner of her lip, "Well, it is legal – as long as you don't get caught."
"That's a pretty big caveat, though."
Jade winked, "That's why you have to be fast."
Tori laughed and snuggled into her side, her head on Jade's chest. She just listened to the sound of her heartbeat and her gentle breaths as Jade ran her fingers through Tori's hair. Before long, Tori was lingering on the edge of sleep until Jade spoke again.
"Tori?"
She tilted her head up slightly to look at Jade, "Hm?"
"I want you to stay in my life, too. And-" Jade sighed and met her eyes again, "I think you're amazing."
