Prompt: Rain/Picnic (2022)
Saga Masamune used to hate rain. It was a nuisance, sometimes even loud if thunder followed it (which scared Sorata!), and it was a hazard a lot of the time. It could take out a whole neighborhood's electricity, it could knock down trees, it made driving more dangerous, hell you could slip on the sidewalk if you were clumsy enough and had to walk through a storm.
He never really understood those people who claimed to like-or even prefer-rainy days. Their reasoning was usually something stupid like the sound of water hitting their roof being peaceful or the rain smelling nice (which Saga didn't even think was true, everything just smelled wet) or something else that didn't outweigh the cons of rain in Saga's opinion. He pretty much always thought those people were lying in order to be different because of course the typical favored day would be a sunny one. Saga was personally a fan of overcast skies: not too hot, not too cold, no rain or sun, just a nice, neutral day that couldn't irk him one way or the other.
Then, of course, because it's how the story always goes, Oda Ritsu came along like the whirlwind he was.
In the most irritating fashion known to man, Ritsu had changed every little aspect of Saga's life: the music he now gravitated toward, the places he wanted to visit in the future, the way he chose his words, and now even his preference for weather. And the worst part of it all was now that Ritsu was gone, and now that 'Saga' was gone too, Masamune couldn't find a way to get back to who he used to be.
He wanted to return to that shadow on the wall that girls would whisper about but rarely ever approach, the student that teachers may fret over in private but not enough to actually interfere or even ask if he was alright, the loner who had never been in love and didn't plan on ever falling, the boy who preferred overcast days over sun or rain.
It was raining now.
Sometimes it felt like it was always raining, but that was only because Masamune took particular notice when it rained. He stayed in on rainy days like this, rather than bar crawling and prowling for his latest one night stand. He would just watch out his window, maybe even read a book if he really felt up to it, and wonder what Ritsu was doing.
Was it raining where Ritsu was? Did the rain remind Ritsu of him too? Did Ritsu remember that night when he came back to the school to give him an umbrella? Had Masamune ever told him what that meant to him? How it had made him realize Ritsu's love was true and that it had set Masamune on the path to fall in love with him as well? Would it have made a difference if Masamune had told him? Did Ritsu like the rain? Did he love it? Did he still-somehow, despite all signs pointing to no-love Masamune?
Masamune wanted to hate the rain. More than anything he wanted to hate the rain and Ritsu and reading and everything green and himself for still dwelling on his first love, but he couldn't. Instead, he wanted it to rain everyday because it reminded him of what it had felt like to be really, selflessly loved by someone, even if that love had lasted for only a short moment in time. And it reminded him of how it felt to love someone back, rather than how it feels to forget the name of the person you're waking up next to.
The rain was nostalgic and bitter, but above all it was calming. All other days Masamune felt that deep gash in his chest. Every pulse of his wounded heart reverberated with pain and anger and disbelief and confusion, but the rain managed to soothe that. It was as if the rain was washing all of that away and leaving behind only the love that was still tucked away in the hidden corners of his heart, love that he would only quietly admit to himself still existed on rainy days like this.
Masamune stared at the window pane, the view before him gray and wet and unappealing in theory, but it was the view he wanted to see for the rest of his life.
And if he really disillusioned himself enough, he might entertain the idea of a green-eyed brunet walking through his door to offer him an umbrella, and he might just smile a little.
But tomorrow would be sunny and hot and humid from today's storm. Masamune already had his alarm set bright and early, which also didn't bode well for his future mood. He would be miserable the moment he opened his (getting worse by the day) eyes and he'd make no effort to change his attitude, much preferring to wallow in his own misery than pretend like everything was okay. He'd have to squint against the sun and fight against every instinct in his body that would be screaming to hide until the rain returned.
Instead, he would go to the minimum amount of classes he needed to go to just to make sure he wasn't failing. He would take half assed notes-enough to get him a C on the next test or essay-and ignore any idiot classmate's attempt at getting to know him better. If he was really lucky no one would even sit next to him during the lectures.
Then, after class he would go out and drink until he was teetering on the edge of blacking out, preferably with someone else buying the drinks because alcohol was not particularly kind to Masamune's wallet. He'd probably take home the closest guy or girl that was willing, have some lousy lay that he likely wouldn't remember and then try to go to sleep with the hope that it would rain again soon.
And if he really disillusioned himself enough, he might entertain the idea that he was sleeping with a green-eyed brunet in his arms after the deed was done, and he might just smile a little.
