Prompt: Takaritsu Day/Confession (2022)
"You know what I regret most about our high school relationship?" Masamune asked, Ritsu's back currently to him as they snuggled up under the covers, both of them naked from previous nighttime activities.
It was pillow-talk moments like these before Ritsu inevitably fell asleep that Masamune could attempt to open up without Ritsu fleeing the room in fear of emotional intimacy. Ritsu was shy about physical intimacy, but it seemed as though vulnerability was his kryptonite.
"The fact that it happened at all?" Ritsu mumbled tiredly, hoping Masamune would drop it at that and let him go to bed. Masamune gently pinched his side, apparently not appreciating his cheekiness at the moment. "Well, I thought it was funny..." Ritsu grumbled, too tired to realize that thought had made it past the filter.
"Don't even joke about that." Masamune scolded, entirely too serious. Like he could ever regret meeting and falling in love with Ritsu. "My biggest regret is that I never properly confessed to you. I mean, I know I said I love you that night in my room the first time we-"
"Spare me the details." Ritsu interrupted, still only sounding half awake.
"Fine, skipping the details." Masamune said with a roll of his eyes. "Basically, my confession never meant anything because you obviously didn't hear it." Otherwise there would've been no need for the 'big question' that had torn them apart. "And it's not because it could've saved us ten years of separation-well, at least that's not completely why. It's because you deserved a confession; a big, grand, heart-pounding confession. You loved me so much and so intensely and never asked for anything back."
It wasn't inaccurate to compare Ritsu to rain or the ocean or even a hurricane with how he had fully enveloped Masamune in the waves of his love. But never had it felt like drowning, no, it had been like floating without a worry in the world. Masamune couldn't recall a time he had felt like that before Ritsu, but all Masamune had done to reciprocate that love was promise himself that he'd crush Ritsu's 'delusions'. The worst part was he then accidentally followed through with that promise.
"Every day there were little reminders about how much you cared about me, if you weren't just outright confessing again. You were so thoughtful and kind and I...couldn't even say I love you and make sure that you heard it. You deserved an epic high school sweetheart romance. You had so much love to give and for some reason you gave it to me and I never returned the favor." Masamune finished, hoping he was making some kind of sense.
It was quiet for a few moments, in fact it was quiet for longer than Masamune would've liked, and for a second Masamune worried that Ritsu had fallen asleep halfway through his rambling. I swear I will bully him so badly at work tomorrow... However, just as Masamune started to stew in frustration, a very awake Ritsu turned over to face him.
"It wasn't a 'favor' and I wasn't doing anything out of the kindness my heart-"
"That's a lie." Masamune said. "Only an extremely kind person would've put up with me for as long as you did, even if in the end you did run off. Some days I seriously thought you had to be some kind of saint." Especially after that outburst in the library that neither he or Ritsu liked talking about. That topic was even more forbidden than The Laugh.
"You are exaggerating. Yes, I did nice things, and yes it was mostly because I wanted to see you happy and healthy, but it was also because I loved you and very selfishly wanted you to love me back." Ritsu said.
"Wanting to be loved back isn't selfish." Masamune said.
Ritsu snorted. "Please, it's totally selfish, especially with the way you tend to go about it." He said, gently pushing Masamune for emphasis. "You don't need someone to love you back in order to keep loving them and taking care of them, but you want it anyway because it'll make you happy. I think that's selfish." He said. "And I wanted you to love me back more than anything. Maybe I 'deserved' something out of a romance movie, but people don't always get what they deserve. Even if I had gotten some confession out of a fairytale, it wouldn't have meant anything if it wasn't from you. I just wanted you, at whatever level you were willing to meet me at, and I had you. At least for a little bit." Ritsu said, getting quieter and quieter the longer he spoke. "Besides, maybe it's better that we separated. We both had a lot of growing up to do." He added, the strength in his voice returning.
"We could've grown together. We might be even better than we are now if we had stayed together." Masamune said.
"Maybe." Ritsu shrugged. "But this is where we are."
"And where is this?" Masamune asked. "Obviously, the literal where is in my bed, but what does that mean for us, Ritsu? Is you being here with me a good sign? Are we any closer to being together than we were yesterday or is this another step forward before we take two more steps back?"
Ritsu took a deep, slow breath, carefully contemplating Masamune's question. "I know what you want me to say-"
"I want you to be honest." Masamune said. "I love you. I'm going to love you for the rest of my life. Even if you never get to where I am, I'm going to love you. So, where are you?"
Ritsu took another deep breath, thankful for the darkness that hid him somewhat. "I'm with you." He answered. "I'm wherever you are." I always have been, haven't I? Peeking around a corner, waiting for you to give me the time of day...I've always been here.
Masamune gently ran his fingers through Ritsu's hair, admiring him as best he could in the low light provided by the moon shining through his bedroom window before he kissed him.
"I love you."
"...I love you too."
