"Oh Tony, you're still up." She smiles at the sight of him, but her smile quickly disappears as she takes a good look at him. "Are you okay Tony?"
Tony empties his 7th bottle of beer. "There's nothin'" he growls.
"Didn't you get my message?" She softly asks.
"Yeah I got it. I just didn't think you'd come home this late."
"I am sorry, but after our meeting Cal and I went out for dinner. You know what I do with a lot of my clients. This is my first time and you know that."
Tony gets up and heads back to the kitchen to get another beer.
"Tony?" She is so confused by his behaviour.
"Would you like a beer?" Tony holds up 2 beers when he gets back to the living room.
"Sure." She sits down on the couch, he takes the seat next to her, but leaving a pillow free in between them. He hands her the beer, she removes the twist cap and throws it on the table in front of her.
"Anything happened while I was out? Did Sam or mother call?"
"Yeah Sam called, we spoke."
"Tony?" She nearly whispers his name. "This might be me, but the atmosphere in this house seems to be below sub-zero."
"It's nothing, I was just really worried. I tried your office a couple of times and you weren't there. Well then you come home and I see you make out with your client. I thought we went through this when you were with Grant."
Angela feels the heat rising in her cheeks. "How dare you?!" She breezes through her nose. She puts the bottle down. "I don't have to take this!" She is about to get up when Tony grabs her wrist.
"What did you do with that man?" His eyes are dark. She tries to pull away, but he holds on.
"Tony let go of me."
"WHAT did you do with that man?" He repeats.
Angela feels the anger build up in her. "What I do, is NONE of your business."
The anger in her voice makes him release her wrist. She gets up and walks towards the stairs but halts when her foot hits the first step.
Without turning she speaks. "Don't you EVER dare to talk to me like that again Tony. I will not stand for it. You have no right, no right at all!"
"I have every damn right to speak like that!" he spits back as he gets up.
His words stop her in her track. "Excuse me?" she turns on her heels. "What in heck gives you the right to speak to me like that?" Standing on the third step, she towers over him.
"Because of what just happened outside! You did it on purpose! To hurt me back!" Tony slurred his words but his face was furious.
"You're drunk!" She says icily. "Go to bed before you say anything more you're going to regret."
"I won't regret a thing! You were out there, in front of the neighbours making out with a stranger. While you knew I would be watching, because I always worry about you!" He yells now.
Angela straightens her back and walks down, inching closer to him, she looks him straight in his eyes, her eyes shoot fire. "I am sorry that you worried about me, but as you know I am a big girl and can take care of myself, very well." With her heels on she was taller than him. "And you are the last person on earth who can ever tell me what to do! Not after the shit you pulled in MY house, TWICE, for that matter. So don't you ever judge me Tony Micelli!"
He grabs her by her arms. "Why Angela?" His anger has turned to sadness.
"Why? For heaven's sake NOTHING happened. And if you were watching as you say you were, you saw him hug me and him giving me 2 kisses on my cheek. THAT'S IT! I don't have to explain myself to you, while you are the one bringing all types of women in MY house."
"Yeah your house, you've said that twice now. I get, I know when I'm not welcome." His mind is too intoxicated to have any rational thoughts. "I'm out of here."
"You are not driving in this state." Even though she is angry and hurt by him, she doesn't want him to get hurt. She sprints to the side table and grabs his car keys.
"Give me my keys Angela." He grabs her by her arms again and shakes her.
"No! If you want to leave, leave, but you are not going by car."
"Forget it!" he walks towards the front door. "I didn't even want to leave by car!" he turns on his heels. "I might be drunk but I'm not stupid. Oh wait.. Mrs. Angela Bower, the highly educated, very intelligent and who thinks she is better than anyone because she owns her own house, business and can afford a housekeeper!"
Angela is taken aback, not so much by the words he says, but the anger and hurt he says it them with. Tears start to well on her lower eyelids. "You know what Anthony Micelli.." she walks up to him and hands him his keys. "You do whatever you think is wise. I cannot do this.." she points between the two of them. "anymore. I am done." She turns, her shoulders and head hang low as she ascends the stairs. Tears stream down her cheeks, she just lets them flow, she feels emotionally drained. She never thought he would hurt her, not like the way he has.
Tony watches her go up, he is so angry and hurt, but all he wants to do is run after her and hold her. But his anger takes the best of him and he exits the house, slamming the door shut so she knows he did leave.
XXXXX
Angela reaches her bedroom and locks the door behind her. She leans against the door and drops her bags. She wishes for nothing more than Tony knocking at her door any minute now. But she has heard the front door being slammed shut.
Didn't he see her take a step back from Cal? Or did he only watch until he kissed her and then walk away? She remembers the last time she saw Tony drunk, even though some of the memories are still hazy, she remembers the kiss vividly. He was such a funny, happy drunk and now? She'd never seen him this angry. He had been angry before but this was a whole new level, he was at a level where he actually scared her. Not because she thinks he would ever physically hurt her, but his who demeanour what scared her, there was not one trace of the man she loves.
She plays the scene with Cal in her head, she can't honestly think what she did wrong. He hugged her, her arms were full and to her sides, there was no intimacy from her side. Cal kissed her, she pulled back in shock and told him off. What else could she do?
She starts pacing in her bedroom, taking off her jacket and moping to herself. She sits at the end of her bed and sighs. ~Why can't things be easy between us?~ She wonders to herself. Their friendship had always been easy, natural and fantastic. Everything changed when Tony slept and then dated Kathleen. She feels nauseous again. Every time Kathleen enters her mind, she feels like throwing up. ~That woman really makes me sick.~ She chuckles at the thought.
She lays down on her bed. Tony dances in her mind, strong Tony working out, sweet Tony who arranged a special prom night for her, sexy Tony who helped her finish her list and gave her such a passionate kiss in his van, fatherly Tony who helps both Sam and Jonathan with anything, attractive Tony swaying her around the dance floor, Tony in the motel wrapped in a towel and then doing push ups. But then there is jealous Tony, drunk Tony and a very angry Tony. She feels a headache coming on. She wishes she could stop loving him because he treated her so bad. But she can't all his fantastic characteristics outweighed the negative ones.
She sits up again and heads for the bathroom, filling her bathtub and taking off her clothes. She slides in the hot water, headset on and drowns out her thoughts with her music.
XXXXX
Tony takes big steps, how could she? ~How could she?~ he thinks to himself. ~Idiot!~ he tells himself as his steps get bigger and he starts walking faster. ~You've did it twice in her own home. And she has her right as a woman. What did she actually do?~ He tries to clearly remember what had just happened in front of him, his mind is foggy. "I shouldn't have so many beers."
He finds a bench and sits down. He definitely saw her get out of the car, that guy was standing next to her, he puts her arms around her.. ~Where were her arms?~ he thinks. He massages his temples trying to remember where her arms were. ~She was holding her bags!~ he thinks, but she didn't squirm out of his arms. But she definitely didn't hug him back. Okay so far so good. But she did let him kiss her. But what did he do that was so awful? He kissed her on the cheeks. But he is her client, that is so unprofessional. It's disgusting! He is so angry but doesn't understand why he is so angry, at her.
He gets up and starts walking again, he needs some relief of his anger. He starts jogging and before he knows it, he finds himself back at the house. He looks up at it. ~HER house.~ as she reminded him. She had called it their house before and now it was HER house? He doesn't want to go inside. He is so angry but he also doesn't want to fight her.
He makes his way to Mona's apartment and uses the spare key to get inside. He slouches on the couch, resting his head on the back of it.
"What do you do to me Angela?" he softly says sitting in the dark. He contemplates the entire 2 days that have just passed. ~Why can't they just talk about Jennifer and Kathleen?~ He wonders. Especially Kathleen was a subject they never spoke about. It was always left between the two of them. Their friendship had flourished after some time, the love between them was always there, the strength of their love was true, but just as friends. As best friends, she was his best friend, but he wanted more. ~But wasn't it me that sabotaged our relationship? Why did I hook up with Kathleen? Why didn't I take the way out when she offered me one? Why did I continue dating her?~
XXXXX
Angela got out of the tub and dried herself. She was happy she was finally able to clear her mind. She now was convinced she did nothing wrong, Cal merely greeted her and she made clear that this was a line he could not cross.
~God I love that stubborn man so much. Even though he broke my heart, I still love him so much. What the hell is wrong with me?~ She looks in the mirror and smiles. "He's not the only one that can be stubborn. I refuse to speak to him UNTIL he apologises. I am done getting hurt." She says to herself, as confidently as her heart allows her to be.
She finishes everything in the bathroom and walks towards her bedroom. She turns on the radio in her room as the room filled with music before lying in bed. She listens to the radio, when All out of love comes on.
% I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you 'til it hurts
I know you're hurt too, but what else can we do?
Tormented and torn apart
I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know
Doesn't really know
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong %
Tears started flowing, this hits close to home. She feels so lost without Tony. She gets up and walks towards his bedroom and knocks on his door.
"Tony?" She softly says. "Are you there? Can we talk?" She waits a couple of minutes before knocking again, a little louder. "Tony?" She waits a couple of more seconds before opening the door. "Tony?" She looks through his room, no one is there. Her heart drops. "You're not here." As another tear falls.
With her shoulders and head hung low, she returns to her room.
She lays down on her bed. ~Where can he be?~ She thinks. Looking at her clock it is well past 1am. ~I hope he doesn't stay out all night.~
Whitney Houston's voice bring her back.
%Remember when we held on in the rain
The night we almost lost it
Once again we can take the night into tomorrow
Living on feelings
Touching you I feel it all again
Didn't we almost have it all
When love was all we had worth giving?
The ride with you was worth the fall my friend
Loving you makes life worth living
Didn't we almost have it all
The night we held on till the morning
You know you'll never love that way again
Didn't we almost have it all%
All of a sudden her mind drifts back to the night Tony and she spent in the motel, after finding out he was her first kiss. She was finding a way of telling him, when she just told him. ~Anthony and Ingrid.~ she giggles. ~We did almost have it all, why couldn't we have it all? Get him out of your mind Angela!~ She hears the last few tunes of Whitney Houston's song as she turns off the radio. "Stupid music."
XXXXX
The ringing of the phone on her bedside table scares her. Somehow she fell asleep.
"Hello?"
"Mom?"
"Jonathan!" she sits up immediately "How are you sweetheart?"
"We just landed mom. The flight was sooooo long. But Tony's books helped. And the fact that we flew at night! I did sleep quite well! The food was horrible though." Angela chuckles at her son.
"So what time is it there?" She softly asks as she looks at her radio clock.
"09:30am, so it's 04:30am in Connecticut. So early! Did I wake you? I probably did, I am so sorry mom."
"Oh Sweetheart it's fine, I am so happy you called, I needed to hear your voice." She takes in every word Jonathan says to her.
"Dad and Heather are waiting for the suitcases. I can't wait to see the country. Dad says the nature is incredible here. How is the rest of the family? Did grandma head to uncle Cornelius' hotel? Did Sam call with some news? How's Tony?"
Angela smiles. "Yes grandma is at the hotel, she is doing fine. I didn't speak to Sam as I had a long evening with my new client.."
"You've got the campaign? I knew you could do it mom!"
"Thank you sweetheart and yes, now waiting for him to sign the contract."
"How's Tony?"
"Well I actually didn't see him anymore after I came home and I don't want to wake him this early." She hates lying to her son, but she doesn't want to worry him unnecessarily.
"Oh I get that, I will talk to him later then." Angela hears some talking in the background. "Mom, dad wants to talk to you for a sec." She hears him pass the receiver.
"Hey Angela."
"Morning Michael."
"We arrived safe and sound, when the suitcases come we will go to the hotel. We will be there a couple of days until I get permanent residence. We will check in as much as we can okay?"
"That's fine Michael."
"Hold on I'll put Jonathan on again."
"And Michael?"
"Yes?"
"You better take good care of my baby."
"I will take care of our son, he is not a baby anymore."
"He will always be my baby Michael." Her voice was dead serious.
"Bye Angela."
"Goodbye Michael."
"Mom, the suitcases are here. I will call you soon. I love you."
"You go ahead sweetheart, stay safe. I love you too."
She gets out of her bed and walks towards Tony's room again and knocks. "Tony? Are you there?" She waits another second before opening the door. His bed still empty, unslept. "Jonathan arrived safely." She sadly whispers to the dark room.
XXXXX
Tony wakes up on Mona's couch. He looks at his watch, it's a little over 3am. Walking towards the kitchen, he looks out to the main house. He sighs and pours himself a glass of water. Kicking off his shoes, he decides to take Mona's bed. He sits on the side of the bed, drinking the water. His head feels less foggy than it did before. ~What the hell did I do?~ he thinks, but he knows exactly what he did, he just doesn't want to face it. He doesn't want to face himself just yet.
He looks around Mona's bedroom and sees a photo of Angela and Jonathan. It was a photo he had never seen before, it was an older one. He grabs it and traces Angela's face with his index finger. Jonathan must be 4 or 5 years old in this photo, Angela holds him up in the air and they're both smiling. Angela seems so uncomplicated and genuinely happy in the photo. He puts the photo down and another new photo catches his eye. Angela in her graduation gown and cap, her mouth is smiling, but her eyes are sad. The next photo is of Angela and Mona at the opening of the Bower Agency, Angela is proudly smiling, Mona looks up at her daughter, she looks even prouder than Angela. Mona would never admit it, but she is proud of her daughter. He had seen the other 2 photos before, but it was like he was seeing them for the first time. He knows that the back photo is a head shot of Angela, she is looking directly into the camera and smiling the most gorgeous smile he has ever seen. Everything about that photo is perfect to him. He takes it and walks back to the bed, putting it down on the bedside table. He stares at her photo. "What are we going to do Angela?" he says to the photo. "I have no idea if or even how we can overcome this." He moves his hand through his hair. "I love you." He says to the photo.
~Why can I tell her photo that I love her, but can't tell her in person?~ He thinks to himself. ~I need to tell her or I will lose her. But if I tell her, I might also lose her.~ He shakes his head, trying to empty his mind, but visions of Angela fill his mind as he stares at the ceiling.
The starting of a car wakes him up. Somehow he had fallen asleep. He looks around, the first thing he sees is Angela's head shot. "Good morning beautiful." He gives a sad smile.
He looks at his watch. ~7:30?! Angela!~ he thinks as he quickly jumps off the bed. When he opens the front door, he is just in time to see the back of her Jaguar turn the corner.
He walks towards the kitchen door and enters.
The first thing he smells is freshly brewed coffee then notices the note on the table, folded and it has his name on it. He looks at it with a heavy heart, immediately recognising her handwriting.
He opens the note and starts reading.
** Dear Tony,
I hope you're coming home and find this note. I lay awake half of the night, thinking about what I did wrong. We need to talk, because you are my best friend and I don't want to lose my best friend. Hope you'll be home tonight so we can talk about what happened.
I don't know if you care but Jonathan called around 4:30 this morning. They arrived safely. He wanted to talk to you, he will call back.
Angela
PS: The coffee is fresh, hope I made it to your liking. **
He rereads the note several times, why would she think he doesn't care about Jonathan? Why would she think that? He loves Jonathan! Just as much as I love Samantha, he is my son! For the first time he allows the tears to fall freely.