Chapter Eighteen
"Are you sure you're still okay to do this?" Angela asks for the millionth time.
"Yes Angie!" I laugh, rolling my eyes at her. "Go and have fun with your husband!"
Edward and I are standing in Angela's living room. Theo is currently playing in his play pen on the floor while Angela agonises over whether we're capable of watching him for a couple of hours.
"Okay, there's milk in the fridge and if he gets fussy sometimes he'll calm down is you give him a little applesauce" She rambles. "And he has a favourite lovey that-"
"That's a bear with a pink sweater" I finish for her.
Angela gives me a sheepish smile before I tell her once more to go and enjoy her night. She looks beautiful in my dress, her hair in an elegant plait down her back. Ben chuckles at her as he leans against the living room wall.
"Go, go, go" I shoo before they thank us once again and I finally close the door on them.
"I give it twenty minutes" Edward says from the couch.
"Until what?" I chuckle, sitting next to him.
"Until they text" He says.
I laugh but can't argue with him. It probably won't even be that if I'm honest.
"So, what do you wanna do?" I ask.
He looks down at me before shrugging a little.
"Wanna watch some TV or something?" He asks.
"Sure" I nod.
Edward and I decided to order takeout so that we don't have to rummage around in Angie and Ben's kitchen. Ben assured us that we can watch whatever we want on Netflix and to help ourselves to whatever we want though.
"What do you fancy?" Edward asks.
"How about a TV show?" I ask.
"Yeah? Wanna binge?" He chuckles.
I giggle as we scroll through the options, eventually settling on some detective drama neither of us has seen.
As the show plays in the background, I move to the floor and play with Theo a little. He smiles at me with his couple of teeth before I blow a raspberry on his tummy and make him squeal with delight. I hear a low chuckle behind me and see Edward watching us.
"What?" I laugh.
"You're good with him" He says, his eyes soft and making my insides feel weird.
"I like kids" I shrug, booping Theo on the nose and making him giggle again.
"Do you want them?" Edward asks behind me and I look over my shoulder.
His expression is unreadable. We never talked about this kind of thing when we were young. I guess it always felt like a lifetime away.
"Yeah. One day" I nod. "Do you?"
"Yeah. One day" He smiles.
There's a look in his eye that I can't place but it makes my insides tingle and I have to look away from him.
We continue to watch the show for a while before Edward says he's hungry and orders Chinese takeout. When he comes back into the room, I'm stretching my back, starting to feel a little tight from sitting on the floor for so long.
"Let me take over for a bit," He says.
"Thanks" I sigh as Edward helps me up from the floor.
I head to the bathroom quickly before coming back out and hearing Edward speaking lowly. I stop just outside the room and strain my ears to listen. He's obviously talking to Theo and from the sounds of it, it's about me.
"You like her, don't you?" He says quietly.
Theo lets out a little giggle and I hear Edward chuckle.
"Yeah, me too" He tells him. "I've liked her for a very long time".
I smile at the declaration.
"She's got to go back to LA soon. You've never been there but it's quite far away" He continues. "I'm going to miss her."
Theo gurgles and Edward chuckles again.
"I know. I wish she'd stay too" He whispers.
I feel my heart squeeze at the words before there's a knock on the door and I jump.
"I'll get it!" I call before striding past the living room and answering the door.
I see a teenage boy, about seventeen standing on the front porch, clutching a bag of food. As I pay for our food, I notice his eyes flash with recognition before he rather brazenly stares at my chest. I hear a throat clear behind me before the boy flushes red and hands me my change, shoving the food into my hands.
I turn around and see Edward standing in the hall, Theo perched on his hip, wearing a slightly murderous stare.
"Do you think he could have been any more obvious?" He hisses.
"Oh calm down" I giggle. "He's a teenage boy, I'm probably the third pair of boobs he's ogled tonight" I point out.
"I never ogled boobs when I was his age," He says as I walk into the kitchen with our food.
I look back at him over my shoulder and raise one eyebrow.
"Okay fine, I never ogled random women's boobs at his age" He clarifies.
I giggle before rolling my eyes and grabbing our silverware and beers. I follow Edward back into the living room and watch as he places Theo back into his playpen.
"Thanks" He breathes as he takes his food, settling next to me.
We eat in comfortable silence for a while, half-watching the TV.
"You're good with him too" I say after a few minutes.
"Yeah?" He grins.
"Yeah. You're really cute" I giggle.
Suddenly, Theo lets out an ear-piercing cry and begins to wail loudly.
"Oh no! What happened?!" I coo, standing from the couch and picking him up in my arms.
He continues to cry, burying his face in my neck. I try to bounce him on my hip, smoothing the light dusting of hair on his head and humming softly. It doesn't seem to work.
"Maybe he needs changing?" Edward suggests.
I grab the basket of stuff Angela left and lay out the changing mat on the floor. I place Theo gently on the mat before wrestling him out of his clothes and checking his diaper. It seems clean but I change it anyway, talking to him the whole time and trying to calm down.
"Better?" I ask, disposing of the old diaper and clearing away the basket.
He continues to cry so I go to plan B - milk.
I head into the kitchen and grab one of the bottles in the fridge before sticking it in the microwave. I wait impatiently, Theo screaming in my ear before I slide the bottle between his lips. He begins to suck hard on the bottle, draining it in a matter of minutes before hiccuping quietly.
"There we go." I coo, "Not so bad".
"You're a natural" Edward says when I walk back in.
I can see he's finished eating and he holds his hands out to take him for me.
"Thanks" I breathe before I sit next to him, continuing with my food.
"What was all that about then?" Edward says to Theo, pulling him against his chest.
Theo gurgles quietly before resting his head on Edward's chest and sucking his thumb. They both look adorable. I turn the TV down so as not to disturb Theo before I hear Edward begin to hum quietly, his voice low and steady.
Once I've finished my food, Edward glances over me.
"Is he asleep?" He whispers.
"Yeah" I smile.
Theo is sound asleep, cuddled into Edward's chest, his thumb in his mouth and his free hand holding tightly to Edward's shirt.
"Told you, you had a sleepy voice" I whisper.
"Works like a charm" He chuckles, winking at me.
I roll my eyes before Edward tilts his head.
"What?" I ask.
"Kiss me" He whispers.
I lean over, careful not to disturb Theo and give him a soft kiss. When he pulls away I see a look on his face that I can't place.
"I heard you earlier" I admit.
He looks confused.
"Talking to Theo" I clarify.
"Oh," He says, looking a little embarrassed.
"I...I don't want to leave you either" I tell him.
His eyes meet mine and I see a mixture of emotions swirling behind them.
"I know" He smiles. "But you need to finish your movie. And, hopefully, it will only be a few weeks right?"
"Yeah I'm going to try to come back around October" I nod.
"No time at all" He grins.
Yeah, no time at all...
A few hours later, I hear the front door and my eyes flutter open. I must have fallen asleep on the couch. As my vision comes into focus I see Angela and Ben walk into the living room, a soft smile on their faces.
I glance down and see Bella asleep, her head on my shoulder and Theo cuddled against my chest. We look like the poster of a family and it makes my stomach feel weird.
"Hey" Angie whispers.
"Hey" I reply, my voice a little gravelly.
The sound wakes Bella and she blinks a little before sitting up.
"Urgh, sorry" She whispers.
"It's okay" Angie smiles. "You guys looked so cute".
Bella giggles and rolls her eyes, her cheeks turning a little pink.
"Was he okay?" Ben asks.
"Yeah, he was as good as gold" Bella smiles.
"Good" Angela breathes in relief.
"How was your night?" I ask.
"It was so nice. We went to that Turkish restaurant in Port Angeles, the one near the water?" Angela tells us.
"Nice" Bella grins.
"Here, let me take him" Ben says, holding his hands out for his son.
I gently move Theo from my chest and pass him over to his father, watching Ben give him a kiss on the head.
"Well, I guess we should get going" I whisper.
Bella nods before we both stand and say goodbye to Ben and Angie.
"Thank you again" Angela says, walking us out.
"Of course, any time" Bella smiles.
"And thanks for lending me the dress" She adds.
"It's yours" Bella winks.
"Really?" Angela replies, looking a little surprised.
"Judging by the way Ben looked at you earlier, there won't be much left of it once he's finished with you" Bella whispers and Angela laughs, blushing bright red.
I chuckle at them both before taking Bella's hand and pulling her away.
"Night" Angela whispers, waving goodbye.
We wave as I open the truck door for Bella and help her in before walking around the front of the truck and climbing in behind the wheel. I yawn a little as I turn the key, the engine roaring to life.
"I can't believe we fell asleep" Bella giggles, wiping under her eyes. "It's only ten thirty".
"I know" I chuckle. "Home?" I ask.
As soon as the words leave my mouth I realise how they might sound.
"Yeah, home" Bella smiles.
Hearing her refer to my place as home makes my chest ache and I smile as I drive the short distance to my house. When we arrive I unlock the front door, hearing Finn bark happily at our return.
"Hey Finn" Bella smiles, scratching behind his ear.
I let him out the back before grabbing two beers from the fridge.
"Want one?" I ask, holding a bottle out to Bella.
"Sure" She smiles.
We pop the caps and take a sip, watching each other.
"So, would you babysit again?" She asks, a small smile on her face.
"Yeah" I chuckle, "It wasn't too bad".
"You were good" She smiles.
"So were you" I grin.
We watch each other for a moment before her eyes flick to my mouth.
"You'll be a good dad" She whispers.
Her words make my insides flip-flop and I feel my skin tingle at the look in her eyes.
"You'll make a good mother" I whisper.
"I don't know about that" She giggles.
I watch as she begins to wander around the living room, looking at some of the books on the shelves. We sip our beer in silence before she turns to look over her shoulder at me.
"Did you ever think about it? All those years ago?" She asks, her eyes wary.
"Having a family?" I ask.
She nods, biting her bottom lip.
"Yeah" I admit, swallowing hard. "I guess...I just assumed we'd stay together you know?"
She nods again.
"Same" She whispers.
I look at her surprised. I never thought she thought about staying together, I mean, after all, she left.
"You look surprised" She comments, moving around the room again.
"I guess I am," I admit. "I mean...you left so..."
"Yeah" She nods, sighing slightly. "But I didn't think we'd break up."
I stare at her for a long minute, unable to comprehend her words.
"What?" I ask.
"I...I guess I thought we'd do long-distance. It was only because of the fight that I assumed you didn't want to be with me anymore" She murmurs.
I continue to stare at her.
"I never knew that," I whisper.
"Would you have been? With me I mean?" She asks quietly.
"Yes," I breathe.
It's not even a question. I know in my heart I would have done the long-distance, would have struggled through seeing her act against leading men and make it big from a distance.
"It was real wasn't it?" She smiles. "Back then, you and me."
"Yeah" I smile. "It was real".
We stare at each other for a minute before Finn barks, asking to be let back in. I take Bella's empty beer bottle and throw them away before letting Finn back in. I lock up behind me before holding my hand out to Bella.
She smiles, taking my hand and letting me lead her upstairs. When we enter my bedroom, I turn the bedside lamp on, turning to face her. Her eyes meet mine and for some reason, something feels different between us.
I reach out for her and pull her into my arms, hugging her tightly. I feel her wrap her arms around my waist, holding me close, breathing me in. We stand like that for a long time before I kiss her gently on the neck, moving my lips up to her ear. Bella breathes a sigh before our mouths meet in a slow kiss.
My hands cup her face, sliding my fingers through her hair before I feel her hands pushing my t-shirt up my torso. I break the kiss, reaching behind my head and yanking my shirt off, dropping it to the floor.
My hands return to her face, kissing her soundly as her fingers pop the button on my jeans and drag my zipper down. I let out a breath as she palms me gently through my boxers before she shoves my pants down my legs and I kick them off.
I break the kiss, dragging her shirt up her body, Bella raising her arms so that I can pull it over her head. As soon as it's off, I drop it to the floor, kissing across her collarbone and down to the swell of her breasts.
My hands go behind her back, unclasping her bra and pulling the fabric away from her body before I suck gently on her nipple. Bella moans quietly, her hands going to my hair as mine go to the button of her jeans, popping it through the hole and pushing them down her legs.
Bella kicks them off leaving her in just her panties. I look down at her, our eyes blazing before I slip my fingers under the thin fabric of her panties. I drag them down her legs, keeping my eyes on hers. I feel her step out of them before I throw them to one side.
She does the same to me, pushing my boxers down over my legs before I can kick them off, leaving us both naked, staring at each other. My chest rises and falls quickly under my laboured breathing and I can see Bella doing the same.
I reach out for her, my hand going to her waist before I pull her towards me, kissing her hard. Bella moans into the kiss as her naked body presses against mine, my hard cock trapped between us and making me groan.
I walk her back to the bed until the mattress hits the back of her knees and she lowers herself down. I crawl on top of her, settling between her spread legs, my mouth never leaving hers.
We kiss heatedly, our hands moving over each other's bodies until Bella whimpers, lifting her hips slightly to feel me bump against her opening.
"Please" She breathes.
"Tell me" I whisper, wanting to hear what she wants, wanting to hear every thought in her head.
"Make love to me" She whispers.
Not touch me. Not fuck me. Make love to me.
I nod breathlessly, my mouth finding hers again before I reach down and line myself up with her opening. I slowly thrust into her, groaning low at the feel of her hot and wet around me. Bella moans breathlessly into the kiss before I start a slow rhythm.
Our lips stay fused together, tongues tangling before we have to break the kiss to breathe. I keep my body low, pressed against her, caging her beneath me as I feel her legs and arms wrap around my body.
"You feel so good" She breathes.
I groan in reply, unable to speak right now.
I keep my pace steady, bringing us higher. In the low light from the bedside lamp, I can see every expression on Bella's face, every emotion behind her eyes. This feels different to the other times, it's not just slower, it's deeper, as if our bodies are communicating words we can't express just yet.
I feel my orgasm begin to tingle at the base of my spine and let out a breathless moan, my hands pulling Bella's from my shoulders and pressing them into the mattress. I entwine our fingers, watching as Bella's eyes begin to flutter and a blush creeps up her neck.
"Are you close?" I pant.
"Yes," She whispers. "But I don't wanna cum yet" She whimpers.
"Why?" I moan, feeling the burn spreading up my spine.
"I don't want this to be over," She tells me.
I don't know if she's referring to the sex or us in general but either way my answer is the same.
"It won't be" I whisper.
Bella moans as my mouth finds hers and I begin to thrust a little harder. I watch as her back arches and her eyes glaze over, a pained expression crossing her face. My vision begins to blur and my hearing becomes muffled as I pant harshly above Bella.
"I'm gonna cum" I moan.
Bella moans in response her fingers squeezing mine and for some reason, that throws me over the edge. I cry out, my body shuddering as I hear Bella moan loudly beneath me, her body tightening around me and shaking beneath me.
We cum together, panting and moaning and shaking and shuddering. I try to keep my eyes open, my gaze burning into Bella's as we find euphoria together. When we finally come back down from our highs I'm breathing hard and although every muscle in my body is relaxed there's an ache in my chest that I can't shake.
She stares at me, her expression unreadable until I dip my head and give her a soft kiss. We trade kisses and breaths until our heartbeats return to normal.
"Do you want a shower?" I whisper.
"Yeah" She nods, giving me a small smile.
I pull out of her and roll onto my back, watching as she stands from the bed and heads towards the door. Suddenly, she stops, turning to look at me over her shoulder.
"Come with me?" She asks.
It's a simple question but it makes the ache in my chest increase. We've never showered together, never even been in the bathroom at the same time but I nod before following her into the bathroom, turning on the hot water.
I wait for it to heat up before stepping under the hot spray, Bella following behind me. I grab the shampoo that she left the last time she was here and squirt some into my hand, the smell of strawberries hitting my nose. I lather my hands together before pulling her under the spray and massaging it into her scalp.
Bella moans quietly, her eyes closing as she leans into me heavily, her back to my chest. I kiss along her shoulder before rinsing her hair, watching the white foam slide over her shoulders and back.
When her hair is clean I grab her body wash, squirting some into my palm and smelling the floral scent I've become so accustomed to recently. I take my time washing her body, sliding my hands over her shoulders, down her arms, across her breasts and stomach. I slide my hands up her legs and thighs and gently between her legs.
Bella watches me curiously before she rinses off and spins us around, pushing me under the spray. I let her give me the same treatment, watching as she takes my shampoo before I dip my head so that she can wash my hair.
Her fingers massage my scalp and I moan quietly at the sensation, my eyes closing before I tip my head back to rinse. She takes her time with my body, her hands exploring every inch of my skin.
She slides her hands over my shoulders and down my arms, tracing the tattoo on my bicep before she focuses on my chest and abs that she loves so much. She covers my thighs before gently taking me in her hand. Despite my recent orgasm, I feel myself harden slightly and a harsh breath leaves my mouth.
Her eyes meet mine and she gives a little smile that makes me chuckle.
She turns me around, massaging the muscles of my shoulders and back before running her hands over my ass and down the backs of my legs. When she's satisfied I rinse off, pulling her against my body and feeling her wet skin slide against my own.
I dip my head, kissing her softly, our tongues tangling and wet lips meeting before I pull away, switch off the water and step out. I grab two fluffy towels and wrap one around Bella's small body. She gives me a small smile before I dry off and follow her back into the bedroom.
I don't bother to get dressed, instead slipping under the covers naked. Bella glances at her overnight bag before shrugging slightly and crawling in next to me.
"No pyjamas tonight?" I ask quietly.
It's the first words we've spoken to each other in a while.
"I want to feel you" She whispers before cuddling into my side.
I chuckle, pulling her close and wrapping my arms around her body, my chin resting on her damp hair. I flick off the bedside lamp before closing my eyes and breathing steady.
"What are you thinking?" I whisper into the dark.
"That it was real" She replies.
I smile slightly.
"Yeah it was" I whisper back.
As I lie in the dark, listening to Bella's breathing even out I try to sleep, try to drift off, but my mind won't shut up. She's right, it was real all those years ago. I was madly in love with her, not just teenage love but real love.
The thing is, there's one thought that keeps floating through my head, keeping me wide awake.
I think it's still is real.
I think I'm falling in love with her all over again.